Post by Jack of Blades on Mar 15, 2007 15:58:42 GMT -5
"As I was readily purchasing stock in a certain Japanese company who were in the process of launching their third console, something of note happened. In an act symbolic of lighting a considerable portion of my wealth on fire, my involvement with the technology conglomerate made me rethink my life. As I regularly took business trips to the 'Land of the Rising Sun' to find out why each time I checked my bank account, the money within decreased by one digit. As I was crossing over some poor Asian country, the in-flight movie began to play. In the ultimate act of irony, this movie was 'Lost In Translation.' After watching this feeble attempt to appear 'indie' and 'on the edge' and making an effort to stab out my own eyes with a plastic fork, my perception of the world altered. Treating piss-poor cuts of the neon skyline that is Tokyo's as something revolutionary, the sense of ennui and depression I felt in this prime piece of nepotism made me come to two conclusions: I don't have enough money and I could piss a better movie than this. Therefore, I have handed over free reign to the creative siphons that form my WCF roster to pitch their ideas. Below, my faithful fans, are the results." - Seth Lerch
Name of Movie: Being Creeping Death.
Scriptwriter: The genius that brought you the 'Modern Cutting Edge' division.
Starring: The disproportionate confidence of Creeping Death and no noobs!
Tagline: Have you ever wanted to watch a film that will make a conscious effort to portray you as completely inadequate?
Poster:
"And here, we get a group photo of the unique characters that make up the Modern Cutting Edge division. All of them boast an impossibly fresh and individual persona."
Plot:
Jeremy Parkins is a satisfied middle-aged family man with everything going for him. A prestigious career, a beautifully-caricature family, an inordinate amount of money and the confidence that these things brings. But one day, this starts to wrong. One day, he decides to open the four-foot door adjacent to his skyline office.
As he turns the knob and falls into the threshold, Jeremy finds himself in a world unlike none other. A world in which experience is placed over a talent. A world in which moaning makes a bigger impact than laughing. The world of the acerbic Creeping Death.
It appears that the mysterious door doesn't actually lead to the watercooler like what had been previously suggested. No, instead, Jeremy gets a front seat view into the world of Creeping Death watching on as he bullies those who would do self-harm.
You will laugh as Creeping Death attacks a child in the street for not being 'veteran' enough. You will cry as you watch Creeping Death and the rest of the goonies/MCE fall onto their testicles repeatedly in an effort to be hardcore. You will empathize as Creeping Death pisses and moans about being passed up in his employer's eyes despite being conspicuously absent from anything for months only making the sporadic appearance to make a snide remark.
"Setting himself on fire for a noble cause? Emo pissant!"
Memorable Quotes:
"Papa Seth! The new kids are being nasty again! Can I clinically bully them till they leave?" - Creeping Death.
"What do you mean that my tax money is helping people who suffer from 'self-harm?' That's not even a real condition." - Creeping Death.
"Oh My God! Look at that! A quadruple powerbomb through the Empire State Building on fire...FRUITY!... and into the flabby labia of Kirsty Alley!" - An announcer calling an 'MCE' bout.
Seth's Opinions:
"I'm hesitant to say that this is the best one yet." - 5/10[/i]
Name of Movie: Being Creeping Death.
Scriptwriter: The genius that brought you the 'Modern Cutting Edge' division.
Starring: The disproportionate confidence of Creeping Death and no noobs!
Tagline: Have you ever wanted to watch a film that will make a conscious effort to portray you as completely inadequate?
Poster:
"And here, we get a group photo of the unique characters that make up the Modern Cutting Edge division. All of them boast an impossibly fresh and individual persona."
Plot:
Jeremy Parkins is a satisfied middle-aged family man with everything going for him. A prestigious career, a beautifully-caricature family, an inordinate amount of money and the confidence that these things brings. But one day, this starts to wrong. One day, he decides to open the four-foot door adjacent to his skyline office.
As he turns the knob and falls into the threshold, Jeremy finds himself in a world unlike none other. A world in which experience is placed over a talent. A world in which moaning makes a bigger impact than laughing. The world of the acerbic Creeping Death.
It appears that the mysterious door doesn't actually lead to the watercooler like what had been previously suggested. No, instead, Jeremy gets a front seat view into the world of Creeping Death watching on as he bullies those who would do self-harm.
You will laugh as Creeping Death attacks a child in the street for not being 'veteran' enough. You will cry as you watch Creeping Death and the rest of the goonies/MCE fall onto their testicles repeatedly in an effort to be hardcore. You will empathize as Creeping Death pisses and moans about being passed up in his employer's eyes despite being conspicuously absent from anything for months only making the sporadic appearance to make a snide remark.
"Setting himself on fire for a noble cause? Emo pissant!"
Memorable Quotes:
"Papa Seth! The new kids are being nasty again! Can I clinically bully them till they leave?" - Creeping Death.
"What do you mean that my tax money is helping people who suffer from 'self-harm?' That's not even a real condition." - Creeping Death.
"Oh My God! Look at that! A quadruple powerbomb through the Empire State Building on fire...FRUITY!... and into the flabby labia of Kirsty Alley!" - An announcer calling an 'MCE' bout.
Seth's Opinions:
"I'm hesitant to say that this is the best one yet." - 5/10[/i]
