Post by Seth on Oct 12, 2006 23:49:52 GMT -5
The scene opens up, with Seth Lerch sitting on a stool on a stage with a small audience in front of him.
Seth Lerch: How is everyone today?
The audience appears to be a group of fifth graders, and Seth Lerch also appears to be at a school.
Kids: Gooooddd.
Fart.
Kids: Hahaaa..
Seth Lerch looks in disgust at the kids, as they laugh, fart, and be as loud as they can.
Seth Lerch: Well, we've got a..
The kids continue to chatter, scream, and laugh with each other. Seth Lerch forms a glare.
Seth Lerch: We've got a special.. guest..
They continue to be loud, Seth Lerch looks over at the teachers who look back at him dumbfounded. Seth Lerch looks frustrated.
Seth Lerch: SHUT UP!
They keep on with the noise. Seth Lerch mutters to himself.
Seth Lerch: Nobody has EVER kept on when I say that.. hm..
Seth Lerch rubs his chin.
Seth Lerch: SHUT the fuck UP!
They silence immediately. The teachers glare at Seth Lerch.
Seth Lerch: Okay, glad to get your attention. I was saying, before someone felt the need to spoil their pants. I have a special guest today, not only me, but a real good friend of mine.
Kids: Sponge Bob!?!?!?!
Seth Lerch: No, he couldn't make it today, I think he committed suicide last night.
One kid begins crying.
Seth Lerch: Yup, he drowned. Now image that. But no, he won't be joining us.. I have another friend.
Seth Lerch reaches behind the stool, and pulling out a dummy of Torture.
Kids: Yay!
Fart.
Seth Lerch: ....
Seth Lerch shakes his head before slipping his hand inside the dummy.
Kid #3: Are you molesting the dummy?
Kid #2: That's where the gym teacher puts his hands!
Seth Lerch: This is one fucked up school. No, I'm not fisting Torture right now.. it's a dummy, that's where you put your hand.
Kid #4: I'm not a dummy.
Seth Lerch: Okay, this has got to stop. I'm the one on the stage, I'm the one talking. No more freakin questions.
Fart.
Kid #1: I got to potty.
Seth Lerch: Well, everyone say hello to Torture.
Seth Lerch makes the doll wave its hand.
Kids: HI SHREK!
Seth Lerch: It's Torture!
Kid #5: But he looks like Shrek!
Seth Lerch looks at the dummy.
Seth Lerch: I'll be damned.
Fart.
Kids: Hahaha.
Seth Lerch: What do you feed these kids beans every day? Damn. Well, his name is Torture.. even if he resembles Shrek, just call him Torture. One of my best friends in WCF!
Seth Lerch positions the doll on his knee, hiding his lips as he talks as the doll in a high pitched voice.
Seth Lerch: Hi kids, my name is Torture.
Kid #5: THE TORT!
All the other kids seemed confused to the statement of the kid shouting out, not all of them watch wrestling.
Seth Lerch: Well, it looks like someone tunes in WCF to watch us after all, Tort. You bet Seth Lerch, with a man good looking as you as hard not to. Well, thank you, my good friend. Anything for you. Uh, sure. Well, anyway, Torture.. what do you think of our match this Sunday?
Seth Lerch makes the doll sigh.
Seth Lerch: Your a real great guy, and all Seth Lerch.. but you've only won the world title from scratch. Scratch huh?
Seth Lerch slams the doll down onto the floor, and starts stomping on it.
Seth Lerch: You KNOW nothing!
Seth Lerch looks angry, getting personal, and listening to Torture's segment before this just makes it even worse. Seth Lerch turns his attention off the doll, and looks at the camera.
Seth Lerch: I hate you, Torture! I hate your guts, I hate you.. err! Torture?! Torture! Torture!
Seth Lerch glares at the kids.
Seth Lerch: Big f'n deal. Your nobody, your nothing. You have the nerve to tell me that I never faced anyone worth mentioning? Who do you think I am? You think I dug from the bottom of the bucket?! You have no idea. It took me two long years of fighting, being put down, being looked it as a nobody before I proved them all wrong, and won a War winning my first WCF championship. I was just like you, no one believed in me, and I had to fight my way to respect.. to freedom. I've beaten the biggest names in WCF that you'd only imagine facing, and people that wouldn't give you the time of day. I've stuck with this place ever since it opened, I've carried this place on my shoulders before, and you've got the f'n nerve to tell me that all my success was easy..? That the men I beat were just simply people for hire? No. I've overcame odds in this place, I've done it all, said it all, been through it all, faced them all, beaten them all, and till this day I never get the respect I deserve. Your nothing special Torture, just two years ago in WCF you were nothing.. you were at the bottom of the card, you bitched, and moaned about it every chance you got. But hey, now your finally the main event. It's time to prove yourself Tort, or prove whatever you've got. But you won't, and you can't. You have to realize who your facing first, I'm not just a match your use to.. I'm f'n Seth Lerch. The Face of Treachery. The man that single handily had anything to do with this place since it first opened in 2000. I've went through rosters, rosters, champions, and rosters of men. I can't even remember who was in the first WCF anymore, I've seen this crew of WCF change so many times. So many different stars stepping up, to see if they got it. I'm always there though, you hear me Torture? I'm always there to crush their dreams in WCF, because I am there, and I choose to be there. I eat, shit, and breath this place. I'm never going to fade out of this industry The sooner you realize this, the easier it will be to accept your final defeat. I'm not your regular star here, I'm your legend. I'm the man you HAVE to beat.
The kids simply stare at Seth Lerch, a few laughing, and barely none of them having any idea of what hes talking about.
Seth Lerch: Oh, it doesn't matter does it? I'm not a has been to comment on you Torture. What exactly is a has been? Someone who use to be the man, and now is just another boudle? Do you look at me that way? Well if so, then your taking this in all wrong. WCF has always been my home, and I've seen plenty of roommates. Was I better four years ago, than I am now? Maybe I was. Maybe I had more drive then. Maybe I was even better than I am now seven years ago when I first joined WCF, but no.. there is no maybe, this is a fact. The man you see today, is not past his prime, is not about to hang any boudle boots up, and sure is hell is not going to bitch to you about how I would've destroyed you a few years back. I'm not that kind of guy, and I'm not going to admit that. Admit it though? There is nothing for me to admit, I'm better now than I've ever been. You'll just never understand it Torture, you'll just never share this love for WCF that I do. Sure, your dedicated, and all that crap.. but you could've never stuck with it like I have. You don't posses the heart, and soul that I do. Your a good champion, I won't lie.. I'll give you credit there. But your not no Seth Lerch. Matter of fact, there will never be a me.. someone who commits is own being to this place. I can't wait to show the world, and WCF that your nothing but a phony. You've never been anything, and your recent success was only something that will go down with the rest of your boudles. You might wonder why no one ever mentions Gravedigger, PC Cradle, or Trent Hunter for that matter. There just the same people as you, they reached their best that they could be in WCF, and then let it go.. they let it die out. You see, it's just that difference you face me.. I'm not any of these guys, and I never will be. If you take a look at our Hall of Fame, just look at it.. you've barely met half of these guys. But me? I watched them grow, and I watched them leave. I've been here for everything. It's just who I am, and something you'll never be.
Seth Lerch kicks the doll across the stage.
Seth Lerch: You WISH you were me Torture, you pray for the day when you were looked up to as the number one man. But that's just never going to happen Tort, and you know it more than ever now. Your actually facing THE veteran of WCF. This match isn't going to be easy, it's not going to be hard, it's going to be epic.
Kids: Epic?
Seth Lerch: Yes, another boudle I beat that thought he was on the rise of WCF.
Kid #4: How do you spell Epic?
Seth Lerch: I don't know, do I look like your freaking history teacher? Huh? I'm Seth Lerch!
Kids: Loogie?!
Seth Lerch: SHUT UP! I'm talking about Torture right now? I'm not? I am? He sucks? SHUT UP!
Fart.
Seth Lerch: I'll ask again.. what the hell do you feed these boudles?
The kids simply stare at Seth Lerch.
Seth Lerch: Don't look at me like that, it's you boudle that keep farting every five minutes.
Kid #6: Your boring.
Seth Lerch: Oh right, I'm boring. Your luck I even came here today, and matter of fact.. do you think I even want to be here? I don't have the time for this crap, hell with this place!
Seth Lerch spits on the floor, flicks off the kids, and walks back behind the stage.
Seth Lerch: How is everyone today?
The audience appears to be a group of fifth graders, and Seth Lerch also appears to be at a school.
Kids: Gooooddd.
Fart.
Kids: Hahaaa..
Seth Lerch looks in disgust at the kids, as they laugh, fart, and be as loud as they can.
Seth Lerch: Well, we've got a..
The kids continue to chatter, scream, and laugh with each other. Seth Lerch forms a glare.
Seth Lerch: We've got a special.. guest..
They continue to be loud, Seth Lerch looks over at the teachers who look back at him dumbfounded. Seth Lerch looks frustrated.
Seth Lerch: SHUT UP!
They keep on with the noise. Seth Lerch mutters to himself.
Seth Lerch: Nobody has EVER kept on when I say that.. hm..
Seth Lerch rubs his chin.
Seth Lerch: SHUT the fuck UP!
They silence immediately. The teachers glare at Seth Lerch.
Seth Lerch: Okay, glad to get your attention. I was saying, before someone felt the need to spoil their pants. I have a special guest today, not only me, but a real good friend of mine.
Kids: Sponge Bob!?!?!?!
Seth Lerch: No, he couldn't make it today, I think he committed suicide last night.
One kid begins crying.
Seth Lerch: Yup, he drowned. Now image that. But no, he won't be joining us.. I have another friend.
Seth Lerch reaches behind the stool, and pulling out a dummy of Torture.
Kids: Yay!
Fart.
Seth Lerch: ....
Seth Lerch shakes his head before slipping his hand inside the dummy.
Kid #3: Are you molesting the dummy?
Kid #2: That's where the gym teacher puts his hands!
Seth Lerch: This is one fucked up school. No, I'm not fisting Torture right now.. it's a dummy, that's where you put your hand.
Kid #4: I'm not a dummy.
Seth Lerch: Okay, this has got to stop. I'm the one on the stage, I'm the one talking. No more freakin questions.
Fart.
Kid #1: I got to potty.
Seth Lerch: Well, everyone say hello to Torture.
Seth Lerch makes the doll wave its hand.
Kids: HI SHREK!
Seth Lerch: It's Torture!
Kid #5: But he looks like Shrek!
Seth Lerch looks at the dummy.
Seth Lerch: I'll be damned.
Fart.
Kids: Hahaha.
Seth Lerch: What do you feed these kids beans every day? Damn. Well, his name is Torture.. even if he resembles Shrek, just call him Torture. One of my best friends in WCF!
Seth Lerch positions the doll on his knee, hiding his lips as he talks as the doll in a high pitched voice.
Seth Lerch: Hi kids, my name is Torture.
Kid #5: THE TORT!
All the other kids seemed confused to the statement of the kid shouting out, not all of them watch wrestling.
Seth Lerch: Well, it looks like someone tunes in WCF to watch us after all, Tort. You bet Seth Lerch, with a man good looking as you as hard not to. Well, thank you, my good friend. Anything for you. Uh, sure. Well, anyway, Torture.. what do you think of our match this Sunday?
Seth Lerch makes the doll sigh.
Seth Lerch: Your a real great guy, and all Seth Lerch.. but you've only won the world title from scratch. Scratch huh?
Seth Lerch slams the doll down onto the floor, and starts stomping on it.
Seth Lerch: You KNOW nothing!
Seth Lerch looks angry, getting personal, and listening to Torture's segment before this just makes it even worse. Seth Lerch turns his attention off the doll, and looks at the camera.
Seth Lerch: I hate you, Torture! I hate your guts, I hate you.. err! Torture?! Torture! Torture!
Seth Lerch glares at the kids.
Seth Lerch: Big f'n deal. Your nobody, your nothing. You have the nerve to tell me that I never faced anyone worth mentioning? Who do you think I am? You think I dug from the bottom of the bucket?! You have no idea. It took me two long years of fighting, being put down, being looked it as a nobody before I proved them all wrong, and won a War winning my first WCF championship. I was just like you, no one believed in me, and I had to fight my way to respect.. to freedom. I've beaten the biggest names in WCF that you'd only imagine facing, and people that wouldn't give you the time of day. I've stuck with this place ever since it opened, I've carried this place on my shoulders before, and you've got the f'n nerve to tell me that all my success was easy..? That the men I beat were just simply people for hire? No. I've overcame odds in this place, I've done it all, said it all, been through it all, faced them all, beaten them all, and till this day I never get the respect I deserve. Your nothing special Torture, just two years ago in WCF you were nothing.. you were at the bottom of the card, you bitched, and moaned about it every chance you got. But hey, now your finally the main event. It's time to prove yourself Tort, or prove whatever you've got. But you won't, and you can't. You have to realize who your facing first, I'm not just a match your use to.. I'm f'n Seth Lerch. The Face of Treachery. The man that single handily had anything to do with this place since it first opened in 2000. I've went through rosters, rosters, champions, and rosters of men. I can't even remember who was in the first WCF anymore, I've seen this crew of WCF change so many times. So many different stars stepping up, to see if they got it. I'm always there though, you hear me Torture? I'm always there to crush their dreams in WCF, because I am there, and I choose to be there. I eat, shit, and breath this place. I'm never going to fade out of this industry The sooner you realize this, the easier it will be to accept your final defeat. I'm not your regular star here, I'm your legend. I'm the man you HAVE to beat.
The kids simply stare at Seth Lerch, a few laughing, and barely none of them having any idea of what hes talking about.
Seth Lerch: Oh, it doesn't matter does it? I'm not a has been to comment on you Torture. What exactly is a has been? Someone who use to be the man, and now is just another boudle? Do you look at me that way? Well if so, then your taking this in all wrong. WCF has always been my home, and I've seen plenty of roommates. Was I better four years ago, than I am now? Maybe I was. Maybe I had more drive then. Maybe I was even better than I am now seven years ago when I first joined WCF, but no.. there is no maybe, this is a fact. The man you see today, is not past his prime, is not about to hang any boudle boots up, and sure is hell is not going to bitch to you about how I would've destroyed you a few years back. I'm not that kind of guy, and I'm not going to admit that. Admit it though? There is nothing for me to admit, I'm better now than I've ever been. You'll just never understand it Torture, you'll just never share this love for WCF that I do. Sure, your dedicated, and all that crap.. but you could've never stuck with it like I have. You don't posses the heart, and soul that I do. Your a good champion, I won't lie.. I'll give you credit there. But your not no Seth Lerch. Matter of fact, there will never be a me.. someone who commits is own being to this place. I can't wait to show the world, and WCF that your nothing but a phony. You've never been anything, and your recent success was only something that will go down with the rest of your boudles. You might wonder why no one ever mentions Gravedigger, PC Cradle, or Trent Hunter for that matter. There just the same people as you, they reached their best that they could be in WCF, and then let it go.. they let it die out. You see, it's just that difference you face me.. I'm not any of these guys, and I never will be. If you take a look at our Hall of Fame, just look at it.. you've barely met half of these guys. But me? I watched them grow, and I watched them leave. I've been here for everything. It's just who I am, and something you'll never be.
Seth Lerch kicks the doll across the stage.
Seth Lerch: You WISH you were me Torture, you pray for the day when you were looked up to as the number one man. But that's just never going to happen Tort, and you know it more than ever now. Your actually facing THE veteran of WCF. This match isn't going to be easy, it's not going to be hard, it's going to be epic.
Kids: Epic?
Seth Lerch: Yes, another boudle I beat that thought he was on the rise of WCF.
Kid #4: How do you spell Epic?
Seth Lerch: I don't know, do I look like your freaking history teacher? Huh? I'm Seth Lerch!
Kids: Loogie?!
Seth Lerch: SHUT UP! I'm talking about Torture right now? I'm not? I am? He sucks? SHUT UP!
Fart.
Seth Lerch: I'll ask again.. what the hell do you feed these boudles?
The kids simply stare at Seth Lerch.
Seth Lerch: Don't look at me like that, it's you boudle that keep farting every five minutes.
Kid #6: Your boring.
Seth Lerch: Oh right, I'm boring. Your luck I even came here today, and matter of fact.. do you think I even want to be here? I don't have the time for this crap, hell with this place!
Seth Lerch spits on the floor, flicks off the kids, and walks back behind the stage.
