Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2007 14:56:28 GMT -5
(Hank Brown and Bobby Cairo are standing backstage in the interview area. The WCF logo is prominently featured behind them on the wall. Cairo's hair is slicked back, he's wearing sunglasses and he's dressed in an expensive looking suit, but his forehead is bandaged and he has bruises on his face.)
Hank Brown: "Bobby, you're scheduled to team up with Conrad Howell to face the team of JJ Biggs and Lawnmower Jones this Sunday at Slam. Everybody knows your history with Biggs and we all saw that brutal beating that you suffered at the hands of Lawnmower Jones at One. What are your thoughts on this match?"
Bobby Cairo: "You know what, Hank? This might be a tag team match but as far as I'm concerned JJ Biggs and Conrad Howell don't exist right now. I'm focused on only one man and that's Lawnmower Jones. When you decided to bash my skull open you made the biggest mistake of your life, Jones. I don't play the victim. I don't play the punk. I put people in hospital rooms. That's my specialty. That's why I am Bobby Cairo. Your health, your well being... means nothing to me. These bruises on my face, that's not pain. Me dropping you on your head and locking you in the Cairopractor, that will be pain. When I stretch you and pummel you into submission don't expect me to show any mercy. Don't expect me to ease off. For an average man I might show mercy. For JJ Biggs I might even show a little bit of mercy. But you will pay in full for the sins that you've committed. Make no mistake about it, Jones, you've reached the point of no return."
Hank Brown: "You managed to extract a measure of revenge against Jones by interfering in his match, causing him to be pinned by Conrad Howell and then stealing his girl Lonnie. What exactly are your intentions with Lonnie?"
(Cairo sneers.)
Bobby Cairo: "Lonnie, Lonnie, Lonnie... All because you wanted to be a big shot in front of your girlfriend, Jones. That's what started this whole damn thing. Well let me ask you this. Where's your girlfriend right now? I'll tell you where she is. She's sitting in the old tool shed behind my mansion in Connecticut. And before you think of doing anything stupid and trying to rescue her, I should warn you. There's a dozen armed guards patrolling my estate and they've been instructed to shoot you on sight. One shot, one kill, no mess, right between the eyes. You think about that, punk. As far as my intentions are concerned, well let's just say my intentions will become clear in due time."
Hank Brown: "Let's get back to this tag match at Slam for just a moment. This is your first match in a WCF ring in more than 6 months. How exactly are you preparing for this match, Bobby?"
Bobby Cairo: "I'm preparing a little differently than I have in the past. You see I let my guard down at One and I will not make that same mistake again this Sunday night at Slam. My entire consciousness will be locked onto Lawnmower Jones even when he's not in the match, even when I'm not in the match. Normally my biggest focus is to win, but not this time. In fact I intend to get disqualified. Because when I lock Jones in the Cairopractor I'm not gonna let go. I'm gonna be stretching all of his ligaments and all of his tendons and I'm gonna be digging my knee into his spine. He'll be screaming and tapping out and crying, but I will not relinquish the hold. The ref will be forced to disqualify me, because I intend to inflict as much pain upon Lawnmower Jones as is humanly possible."
Hank Brown: "Bobby, how are you feeling physically going into this match? We can all see the bruises and the bandages that you're wearing as a result of the attack by Jones. Will your injuries be a factor in this upcoming match at Slam?"
Bobby Cairo: "Hank, the damage that Lawnmower Jones has inflicted upon me is temporary. The damage that I will inflict upon him will last a lifetime. Jones, when you're bouncing off the walls of your padded room at Bellevue, my face will be the one that haunts you. My name will be the one that you curse. By the time I'm through with you I will own your very soul."
(Cairo removes his sunglasses to reveal two black eyes, then he stares into the camera with a very serious look on his face.)
Hank Brown: "Heated words from Bobby Cairo--"
Bobby Cairo: "Hank, I don't mean to interrupt but I have a joke for you."
Hank Brown: "A joke? Bobby, I don't think this is the best time for jokes."
Bobby Cairo: "Oh come on, Hank! It's a knock-knock joke."
Hank Brown: "A knock-knock joke... I can't wait to hear this one."
Bobby Cairo: "Knock-knock."
Hank Brown: "Who's there?"
Bobby Cairo: "Mama."
Hank Brown: "Mama who?"
Bobby Cairo: "Mama said knock you out! Booyah!"
Hank Brown: "That's...that's very cute, Bobby. Thank you for that."
(Suddenly, a group of young women that look like background dancers in a hip hop video quickly circle around Hank and shake their booties as LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out" blares from a boombox that one of them is carrying. Hank is initially caught offguard, but quickly becomes entranced by their gyrations. One of the dancers walks over to Hank. She unbuttons his shirt and begins to fondle his chest.)
Hank Brown: "Oh my..."
Bobby Cairo: "Hank, this is just my way of thanking you for calling the security guards and paramedics as I was bleeding to death on the floor. You're a real pal and I just want you to know that I appreciate--"
Hank Brown: "Not now, Bobby. I'm busy, man!"
(The young lady starts to undo the belt on Hank's pants.)
Hank Brown: "I think there's a boiler room around here somewhere, baby. Let's get down!"
(Hank and the girl run off together as Hank's pants fall down around his ankles. Cairo just stands there for a moment with a big smile on his face, while the remaining girls stare at him with blank expressions on their faces. Cairo then puts his sunglasses back on.)
Bobby Cairo: "Hmm...that went well. So, do you ladies like strong handsome athletic former World Champions with multi-million dollar charge accounts?"
(The girls begin to swoon and then run over to Cairo. They grope his impressive physique as he simply chuckles to himself.)
Bobby Cairo: "Even with head trauma, it's good to be Bobby Cairo! Hahahahaha!"
(Cairo begins to walk away with the girls, but stops, takes his sunglasses off and looks into the camera.)
Bobby Cairo: "Jones, I'm coming after ya, ya coward!"
(Cairo puts his sunglasses back on then turns and walks away with the young ladies, slapping one of them on her ass as they walk away together.)
Hank Brown: "Bobby, you're scheduled to team up with Conrad Howell to face the team of JJ Biggs and Lawnmower Jones this Sunday at Slam. Everybody knows your history with Biggs and we all saw that brutal beating that you suffered at the hands of Lawnmower Jones at One. What are your thoughts on this match?"
Bobby Cairo: "You know what, Hank? This might be a tag team match but as far as I'm concerned JJ Biggs and Conrad Howell don't exist right now. I'm focused on only one man and that's Lawnmower Jones. When you decided to bash my skull open you made the biggest mistake of your life, Jones. I don't play the victim. I don't play the punk. I put people in hospital rooms. That's my specialty. That's why I am Bobby Cairo. Your health, your well being... means nothing to me. These bruises on my face, that's not pain. Me dropping you on your head and locking you in the Cairopractor, that will be pain. When I stretch you and pummel you into submission don't expect me to show any mercy. Don't expect me to ease off. For an average man I might show mercy. For JJ Biggs I might even show a little bit of mercy. But you will pay in full for the sins that you've committed. Make no mistake about it, Jones, you've reached the point of no return."
Hank Brown: "You managed to extract a measure of revenge against Jones by interfering in his match, causing him to be pinned by Conrad Howell and then stealing his girl Lonnie. What exactly are your intentions with Lonnie?"
(Cairo sneers.)
Bobby Cairo: "Lonnie, Lonnie, Lonnie... All because you wanted to be a big shot in front of your girlfriend, Jones. That's what started this whole damn thing. Well let me ask you this. Where's your girlfriend right now? I'll tell you where she is. She's sitting in the old tool shed behind my mansion in Connecticut. And before you think of doing anything stupid and trying to rescue her, I should warn you. There's a dozen armed guards patrolling my estate and they've been instructed to shoot you on sight. One shot, one kill, no mess, right between the eyes. You think about that, punk. As far as my intentions are concerned, well let's just say my intentions will become clear in due time."
Hank Brown: "Let's get back to this tag match at Slam for just a moment. This is your first match in a WCF ring in more than 6 months. How exactly are you preparing for this match, Bobby?"
Bobby Cairo: "I'm preparing a little differently than I have in the past. You see I let my guard down at One and I will not make that same mistake again this Sunday night at Slam. My entire consciousness will be locked onto Lawnmower Jones even when he's not in the match, even when I'm not in the match. Normally my biggest focus is to win, but not this time. In fact I intend to get disqualified. Because when I lock Jones in the Cairopractor I'm not gonna let go. I'm gonna be stretching all of his ligaments and all of his tendons and I'm gonna be digging my knee into his spine. He'll be screaming and tapping out and crying, but I will not relinquish the hold. The ref will be forced to disqualify me, because I intend to inflict as much pain upon Lawnmower Jones as is humanly possible."
Hank Brown: "Bobby, how are you feeling physically going into this match? We can all see the bruises and the bandages that you're wearing as a result of the attack by Jones. Will your injuries be a factor in this upcoming match at Slam?"
Bobby Cairo: "Hank, the damage that Lawnmower Jones has inflicted upon me is temporary. The damage that I will inflict upon him will last a lifetime. Jones, when you're bouncing off the walls of your padded room at Bellevue, my face will be the one that haunts you. My name will be the one that you curse. By the time I'm through with you I will own your very soul."
(Cairo removes his sunglasses to reveal two black eyes, then he stares into the camera with a very serious look on his face.)
Hank Brown: "Heated words from Bobby Cairo--"
Bobby Cairo: "Hank, I don't mean to interrupt but I have a joke for you."
Hank Brown: "A joke? Bobby, I don't think this is the best time for jokes."
Bobby Cairo: "Oh come on, Hank! It's a knock-knock joke."
Hank Brown: "A knock-knock joke... I can't wait to hear this one."
Bobby Cairo: "Knock-knock."
Hank Brown: "Who's there?"
Bobby Cairo: "Mama."
Hank Brown: "Mama who?"
Bobby Cairo: "Mama said knock you out! Booyah!"
Hank Brown: "That's...that's very cute, Bobby. Thank you for that."
(Suddenly, a group of young women that look like background dancers in a hip hop video quickly circle around Hank and shake their booties as LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out" blares from a boombox that one of them is carrying. Hank is initially caught offguard, but quickly becomes entranced by their gyrations. One of the dancers walks over to Hank. She unbuttons his shirt and begins to fondle his chest.)
Hank Brown: "Oh my..."
Bobby Cairo: "Hank, this is just my way of thanking you for calling the security guards and paramedics as I was bleeding to death on the floor. You're a real pal and I just want you to know that I appreciate--"
Hank Brown: "Not now, Bobby. I'm busy, man!"
(The young lady starts to undo the belt on Hank's pants.)
Hank Brown: "I think there's a boiler room around here somewhere, baby. Let's get down!"
(Hank and the girl run off together as Hank's pants fall down around his ankles. Cairo just stands there for a moment with a big smile on his face, while the remaining girls stare at him with blank expressions on their faces. Cairo then puts his sunglasses back on.)
Bobby Cairo: "Hmm...that went well. So, do you ladies like strong handsome athletic former World Champions with multi-million dollar charge accounts?"
(The girls begin to swoon and then run over to Cairo. They grope his impressive physique as he simply chuckles to himself.)
Bobby Cairo: "Even with head trauma, it's good to be Bobby Cairo! Hahahahaha!"
(Cairo begins to walk away with the girls, but stops, takes his sunglasses off and looks into the camera.)
Bobby Cairo: "Jones, I'm coming after ya, ya coward!"
(Cairo puts his sunglasses back on then turns and walks away with the young ladies, slapping one of them on her ass as they walk away together.)
