Post by Jack of Blades on Sept 21, 2006 13:17:01 GMT -5
(A more sedate scene for today’s events. Sitting in Jack’s living room, the camera is angled towards Jack who is relaxing in an armchair formed from fine bovine leather. His feet rest on a coffee table that looks like it derived from an architectural wetdream. Angled in numerous directions and looking rather obtrusive, it seems suited to something that Jack would have, and indeed does have, in his abode. Sitting, reading a document of papers rather disinterested, Jack rests his hand against his cheek almost in boredom at the reading material. In the meantime, and in front of Jack, Jesper is seen typing on a nearby computer. However, he is so close to the camera that he is out of focus and his figure distorted. Despite this, the obvious familiarity of his figure confirms that it is Jack’s companion. Although the monitor is unseen, we can see the rim and the keyboard that Jesper is typing on thus suggesting that he is involved in some kind of practice on the PC. While Jesper continues what he is doing on the computer, Jack’s maid places presumably his breakfast on the table as two dogs shuffle around her table. Jack takes a cursory, disgusted, glance at her before returning to the piece of paper. After adjusting the breakfast tray, she reveals a bottle of whisky from behind her figure and puts in on to the table. Jack still pays no heed to her as he places the breakfast on the ground for the two dogs and lights a cigar. Jesper continues to furiously type something onto the monitor while Jack takes a few more examinations of the document.)
Jack of Blades: I’m just reading the transcript of Dake’s latest piece. It seems that the WCF doesn’t keep him locked up during the week with no contact to the world outside…
(Uncaring.) Jesper Reisert: No.
Jack of Blades: He’s in my head, my mind. He doesn’t say which one but apparently he’s taking a vacation there. Also, he knows exactly what’s going to happen in the match. He’s an ex-baseball player, a wrestler and a clairvoyant? Feels good to be involved in a promotion that offers such multi-talented agents.
(Uninterested.) Jesper Reisert: Hum, yeah.
(Jack returns to his set of papers and continues to enjoy his fine cigar. Jesper’s apparent absence of intrigue has seemingly infuriated him because, as we are fully aware, of Blades loves the attention like no other. He tries to settle but Jesper complete lack of concern has rattled him meaning he lifts his head from the transcript and addresses Jesper strictly.)
Jack of Blades: Jesper, what are you doing?
Jesper Reisert: I’m doing the WCF on that thing you got.
Jack of Blades: What did I get?
Jesper Reisert: That thing off that Wolverine guy.
Jack of Blades: I got something through the computer, off Logan, and I wasn’t told about its receipt?
Jesper Reisert: Sorry, boss. I thought I told you. Wolverine sent an email with it as well.
(Jack, his interest peaked, removes himself from his chair and moves over to Jesper. As he crosses the distance, he takes his cigar and flicks it in the direction of his dogs that are off-screen. As the tobacco projectile comes flies out of view, we hear the distinct sound of a dog whining. This does not distract Jack as he leans over the desk and examines the monitor. Jesper clicks a few buttons presumably bringing the email up. It should be noted that throughout this, the camera does not see the happenings on the monitor and that we can only see the rims of the screen from behind.)
Jesper Reisert: This is it, boss.
(Reading off the monitor.) Jack of Blades: Hey, Blades. I thought I’d send you this. It’s called Instant Conflict Vendetta. This is the PC version though, but it’s still good. It’s said that this game is the reason why we haven’t seen Nytro for a while. Anyway, this game allows you to run your own wrestling federation. Now, I know, why would I run a wrestling federation virtually when I actually did have a real one anyway? And to that I say…shut up! But this game, you should play it. There is the WCF on there but the version I sent you, well I tinkered with it to make it better. I reduced Torture’s morale so much that he left the federation and is now serving burgers. Creeping Death’s gimmick is now that of a transvestite and I gave Neo AIDS so he can’t wrestle anymore. Also, I changed Reckless Jack’s name to ‘Reckless Herbert’ so people don’t confuse you two up. Like they would! Ha! I just put Outcast on the losing end of a sodomy match against Pat Patterson and Kanyon. This game fuckin’ rocks. Oh yeah, Blondie B says thanks for the piece of roadkill you gave us. We’ve put it on our mantle. Boudle out. Logan.
Jesper Reisert: Watcha think, boss?
Jack of Blades: So what is this exactly?
Jesper Reisert: I’ll load it up. It’s a lot better than Super Mario Brothers…
Jack of Blades: Yes, but considering your pathological hatred of plumbers I don’t think you’re a fair judge.
Jesper Reisert: Here we go. WCF statistics…
(Interrupting him by reading off the monitor.) Jack of Blades: Public Image is at 100. Owned by Seth ‘The Breast’ Lerch. Seems accurate enough.
Jesper Reisert: This is the roster.
(Still reading off the monitor.) Jack of Blades: Hmm, Jack of Blades, upper midcarder, gimmick: psychotic. I refute that as I’m sure Dake would…Logan, main eventer, gimmick…wait what the? Who is that?
(Jack points to something on screen.)
Jesper Reisert: That’s um…J.P. Reisert…he’s um…
(Pessimistic.) Jack of Blades: Did you make yourself, Jesper?
(Jesper nods.)
Jack of Blades: Well, let’s have a look at him. Name is J. P. Reisert, legend, brawling at one hundred percent, speed at one hundred percent, technical at one hundred percent, submissions at one hundred percent, strength at one hundred percent, conventional at one hundred percent, charisma at one hundred percent, gimmick is unique, I’ll give you that. And, it seems that you are the holder of every belt this game offers whether it be cruiserweight, peoples, heavyweight or hardcore. You even have seven different types of Women’s Championship?
Jesper Reisert: Yeah, I’m good at this. I got a match against Reckless Herb now, I’m gonna win it. Watch.
(Jesper clicks on the keyboard causing Jack to lean in further to the screen.)
(Reading from the monitor.) Jack of Blades: Match Report. Reckless Herb makes his way to the ring and the crowd are pumped. He riles them up with his usual taunts and trickery and bounces off the ropes. A man with a big cock called J.P. Reisert beats Reckless Herb. He has a big cock. Did you alter the files as well Jesper?
(Jesper nods eagerly as Jack gives up and goes to return to his chair. Jesper quickly brings him back when he notices something on the screen.)
Jesper Reisert: Yes, we’ve got an incident, let’s see what’s happened.
(Looking at the monitor.) Jack of Blades: Dake Ken is losing support from the fans. You should think about killing him off. Hm, it seems this game is clairvoyant as well. What’s the other message I received?
(Jesper clicks the keyboard bringing the second message up. Jack’s eyes roll.)
(Giving in.) Jack of Blades: Second message reads ‘J.P Reisert has a big cock.’
Jack of Blades: I’m just reading the transcript of Dake’s latest piece. It seems that the WCF doesn’t keep him locked up during the week with no contact to the world outside…
(Uncaring.) Jesper Reisert: No.
Jack of Blades: He’s in my head, my mind. He doesn’t say which one but apparently he’s taking a vacation there. Also, he knows exactly what’s going to happen in the match. He’s an ex-baseball player, a wrestler and a clairvoyant? Feels good to be involved in a promotion that offers such multi-talented agents.
(Uninterested.) Jesper Reisert: Hum, yeah.
(Jack returns to his set of papers and continues to enjoy his fine cigar. Jesper’s apparent absence of intrigue has seemingly infuriated him because, as we are fully aware, of Blades loves the attention like no other. He tries to settle but Jesper complete lack of concern has rattled him meaning he lifts his head from the transcript and addresses Jesper strictly.)
Jack of Blades: Jesper, what are you doing?
Jesper Reisert: I’m doing the WCF on that thing you got.
Jack of Blades: What did I get?
Jesper Reisert: That thing off that Wolverine guy.
Jack of Blades: I got something through the computer, off Logan, and I wasn’t told about its receipt?
Jesper Reisert: Sorry, boss. I thought I told you. Wolverine sent an email with it as well.
(Jack, his interest peaked, removes himself from his chair and moves over to Jesper. As he crosses the distance, he takes his cigar and flicks it in the direction of his dogs that are off-screen. As the tobacco projectile comes flies out of view, we hear the distinct sound of a dog whining. This does not distract Jack as he leans over the desk and examines the monitor. Jesper clicks a few buttons presumably bringing the email up. It should be noted that throughout this, the camera does not see the happenings on the monitor and that we can only see the rims of the screen from behind.)
Jesper Reisert: This is it, boss.
(Reading off the monitor.) Jack of Blades: Hey, Blades. I thought I’d send you this. It’s called Instant Conflict Vendetta. This is the PC version though, but it’s still good. It’s said that this game is the reason why we haven’t seen Nytro for a while. Anyway, this game allows you to run your own wrestling federation. Now, I know, why would I run a wrestling federation virtually when I actually did have a real one anyway? And to that I say…shut up! But this game, you should play it. There is the WCF on there but the version I sent you, well I tinkered with it to make it better. I reduced Torture’s morale so much that he left the federation and is now serving burgers. Creeping Death’s gimmick is now that of a transvestite and I gave Neo AIDS so he can’t wrestle anymore. Also, I changed Reckless Jack’s name to ‘Reckless Herbert’ so people don’t confuse you two up. Like they would! Ha! I just put Outcast on the losing end of a sodomy match against Pat Patterson and Kanyon. This game fuckin’ rocks. Oh yeah, Blondie B says thanks for the piece of roadkill you gave us. We’ve put it on our mantle. Boudle out. Logan.
Jesper Reisert: Watcha think, boss?
Jack of Blades: So what is this exactly?
Jesper Reisert: I’ll load it up. It’s a lot better than Super Mario Brothers…
Jack of Blades: Yes, but considering your pathological hatred of plumbers I don’t think you’re a fair judge.
Jesper Reisert: Here we go. WCF statistics…
(Interrupting him by reading off the monitor.) Jack of Blades: Public Image is at 100. Owned by Seth ‘The Breast’ Lerch. Seems accurate enough.
Jesper Reisert: This is the roster.
(Still reading off the monitor.) Jack of Blades: Hmm, Jack of Blades, upper midcarder, gimmick: psychotic. I refute that as I’m sure Dake would…Logan, main eventer, gimmick…wait what the? Who is that?
(Jack points to something on screen.)
Jesper Reisert: That’s um…J.P. Reisert…he’s um…
(Pessimistic.) Jack of Blades: Did you make yourself, Jesper?
(Jesper nods.)
Jack of Blades: Well, let’s have a look at him. Name is J. P. Reisert, legend, brawling at one hundred percent, speed at one hundred percent, technical at one hundred percent, submissions at one hundred percent, strength at one hundred percent, conventional at one hundred percent, charisma at one hundred percent, gimmick is unique, I’ll give you that. And, it seems that you are the holder of every belt this game offers whether it be cruiserweight, peoples, heavyweight or hardcore. You even have seven different types of Women’s Championship?
Jesper Reisert: Yeah, I’m good at this. I got a match against Reckless Herb now, I’m gonna win it. Watch.
(Jesper clicks on the keyboard causing Jack to lean in further to the screen.)
(Reading from the monitor.) Jack of Blades: Match Report. Reckless Herb makes his way to the ring and the crowd are pumped. He riles them up with his usual taunts and trickery and bounces off the ropes. A man with a big cock called J.P. Reisert beats Reckless Herb. He has a big cock. Did you alter the files as well Jesper?
(Jesper nods eagerly as Jack gives up and goes to return to his chair. Jesper quickly brings him back when he notices something on the screen.)
Jesper Reisert: Yes, we’ve got an incident, let’s see what’s happened.
(Looking at the monitor.) Jack of Blades: Dake Ken is losing support from the fans. You should think about killing him off. Hm, it seems this game is clairvoyant as well. What’s the other message I received?
(Jesper clicks the keyboard bringing the second message up. Jack’s eyes roll.)
(Giving in.) Jack of Blades: Second message reads ‘J.P Reisert has a big cock.’
