Post by Biggs on Jan 1, 2007 22:37:11 GMT -5
JJ Biggs pulls his new H3 into a parking spot in front of his "Biggs R' Us" location in Miami, Florida. He turns off the engine and he steps out of the vehicle. He's wearing a pair of khaki pants, a Hawaiian shirt, and a pair of sunglasses. Jake Hudson steps out of the passenger side of the H3 and he's decked out in a pinstripe suit. JJ adjusts his sunglasses before walking in the direction of his store. A beautiful woman exits his store with a small plastic bag and she accidentally bumps into JJ Biggs.
"The Greatest" : I'm sorry, baby, I don't have time to give you my autograph right now.
Woman: Um, I didn't even ask you for an autograph.
"The Greatest" : Don't lie, baby. Everyone wants an autograph from "The Greatest."
Woman: Well, not me. I don't even know who you are.
"The Greatest" : Sure you do, baby. You had me over for a little boot, scoot, and boogie. Remember?
Woman: Um, no.
The woman has obviously had enough and she goes back to walking. JJ removes his sunglasses and he folds them up before placing them in his breast pocket.
"The Greatest" : What a bitch.
Jake Hudson: Yeah, man.
JJ shakes it off as he pulls open the glass door and he enters his store. Surprisingly, it's doing pretty well. There's a great deal of people interested in getting "Biggs" brand supplies. He smirks before making his way up to the front desk. The two employees, who are supposed to be making sure no one is stealing anything, are actually watching a taping of WCF Slam on a small television behind the desk.
"The Greatest" : What the hell are you two doing? People want to imitate me, they want to be just like me. They want to bang the same women, they want to say the same words, and they want to use the same supplies that I do! They will steal my shit without a hesitation and you two aren't even paying attention!
Employee #1: How come you do easier wrestling moves?
"The Greatest" : What do you mean?
Employee #1: You never do anything out of the ordinary. You never climb to the top rope and you never do any high-impact moves.
"The Greatest" : I don't think you understand what it would do to not only WCF, but to the wrestling industry as a whole if I injured myself in that ring. It would cripple the industry, my friend. I am "The Greatest" wrestler in the history of sports-entertainment and no one could fill my shoes. WCF would go under in less than a week and the industry itself would collapse like the stock market in 1929. So, I play it smart, as I don't really want to see the industry sink. I mean, I'd make it, I have my stores and all of that good stuff, but what about all of the other wrestlers? They'd have to go back to living in their mother's basement and that would just eat me up inside. Well, Skyler Striker still lives with his mother, but that's a story for another time.
The point of this is, I don't need to do anything out of the ordinary. The audience pisses themselves when they hear my music and they love my wrestling skill. I can hit a clothesline and I will be praised as if I just did a "435 Double-Flip-Italian Suplex-Crotch Slam-Over-The-Head maneuver."
Employee #2: What?
"The Greatest" : What?! Shut the hell up and go check on my store!
The employee does as he's told as he stands up to his feet and he walks to the center of the store to check on things.
"The Greatest" : Anyway, the match you're watching, it was awesome, right? Danny Vice and myself put a beating on The Wal-Mart Liberation.
Employee #1: Sure, if you want to say that.
"The Greatest" : Bastard, if you like your job, you better not speak to "The Greatest" like that. This week, at Slam, Skyler Striker is going to realize, one that bell has rung, that he has bit more than he can chew. He's been in the ring with people who are great. He's been in the ring with people that can make the audience stand in amazement at certain points of their matches. But, he's never been in the ring with "The Greatest." He's never been in the ring with the man who can put you into a hospital not just for an overnight stay, but for a week. Hell, if I feel like it, I can put you in the hospital for a month. I have that power, being the best and all. I can injure you so bad that you'll be in the hospital with a collapsed lung, a concussion, a broken leg, a broken arm, and for a broken face. Well, you're already in the hospital every other day for that last one, you were just born that way, but I can make it worse. I have that ability. The special something that you miss, Skyler. Vice has that something, Thunder doesn't.
Understand me this, Skyler. This match, at Slam, doesn't mean anything to me. I realize, just like all of my fans realize, that I could lie down for this match and STILL get the victory. That's right. Next week, however, is when things start to pick up. Vice and myself have the opportunity to regain our WCF Tag Team Titles and we're going to do just that. And at One, Vice is going to take your Hardcore Title and I'm going to take Thunder's Television Title. Before this week, you two were two of the hottest wrestlers not only in this company, but in the entire wrestling industry. You two were truly dominating, but that ends at Slam. You're going to run into a brick wall, and that wall is me. You're going to become a victim, a victim of "The Greatest." Are you prepared, my friend? Prepared to suffer a few broken bones? We'll see.
Employee #1: Do you realize that I'm not Skyler Striker, sir?
"The Greatest" : Yes, dumbass. I am talking to the camera. You don't want to be referred to as Skyler. That's lower than a two-cent whore standing at the corner in downtown Miami.
Employee #2: JJ! Hurry, I need you over here!
"The Greatest" : I'm sorry?
Employee #2: I need you.
"The Greatest" : Not until you refer to me by my name.
Employee #2: You're wasting time!
"The Greatest" : That's not my name.
Employee #2: Fine. "The Greatest," I need you over here.
JJ nods as he slowly makes his way over towards his employee. Jake stays with the employee at the desk and he watches the episode of Slam with him.
"The Greatest" : What do you need? My time is very valuable. You'll never believe how many fans I have, man. People that have never even heard of me cheer me.
Employee #2: Yeah, okay. I just thought you should know that a few minutes ago someone ran out of here with one of your candy bars.
"The Greatest" : What?!?!
Employee #2: Yeah. He grabbed it, tucked it, and ran.
"The Greatest" : Why didn't you stop him?
Employee #2: I didn't think it was a big deal.
"The Greatest" : You don't understand! Our candy bars are not normal candy bars! We have layers-upon-layers of chocolate! We have three different types of chocolate mixed together to make the ULTIMATE chocolate. Each candy bar costs a pretty penny to make!
Employee #2: That much?
"The Greatest" : Yeah, a penny. Now, if you'll excuse me, "The Greatest" is going to go get the candy bar back!
Biggs removes his shades from his pocket, opens them, and places them back over his eyes. He poses for a moment before running out of the store and running in a random direction in hopes of finding the candy bar snatcher. The employee shakes his head before going back over to the desk and taking a seat.
"The Greatest" : I'm sorry, baby, I don't have time to give you my autograph right now.
Woman: Um, I didn't even ask you for an autograph.
"The Greatest" : Don't lie, baby. Everyone wants an autograph from "The Greatest."
Woman: Well, not me. I don't even know who you are.
"The Greatest" : Sure you do, baby. You had me over for a little boot, scoot, and boogie. Remember?
Woman: Um, no.
The woman has obviously had enough and she goes back to walking. JJ removes his sunglasses and he folds them up before placing them in his breast pocket.
"The Greatest" : What a bitch.
Jake Hudson: Yeah, man.
JJ shakes it off as he pulls open the glass door and he enters his store. Surprisingly, it's doing pretty well. There's a great deal of people interested in getting "Biggs" brand supplies. He smirks before making his way up to the front desk. The two employees, who are supposed to be making sure no one is stealing anything, are actually watching a taping of WCF Slam on a small television behind the desk.
"The Greatest" : What the hell are you two doing? People want to imitate me, they want to be just like me. They want to bang the same women, they want to say the same words, and they want to use the same supplies that I do! They will steal my shit without a hesitation and you two aren't even paying attention!
Employee #1: How come you do easier wrestling moves?
"The Greatest" : What do you mean?
Employee #1: You never do anything out of the ordinary. You never climb to the top rope and you never do any high-impact moves.
"The Greatest" : I don't think you understand what it would do to not only WCF, but to the wrestling industry as a whole if I injured myself in that ring. It would cripple the industry, my friend. I am "The Greatest" wrestler in the history of sports-entertainment and no one could fill my shoes. WCF would go under in less than a week and the industry itself would collapse like the stock market in 1929. So, I play it smart, as I don't really want to see the industry sink. I mean, I'd make it, I have my stores and all of that good stuff, but what about all of the other wrestlers? They'd have to go back to living in their mother's basement and that would just eat me up inside. Well, Skyler Striker still lives with his mother, but that's a story for another time.
The point of this is, I don't need to do anything out of the ordinary. The audience pisses themselves when they hear my music and they love my wrestling skill. I can hit a clothesline and I will be praised as if I just did a "435 Double-Flip-Italian Suplex-Crotch Slam-Over-The-Head maneuver."
Employee #2: What?
"The Greatest" : What?! Shut the hell up and go check on my store!
The employee does as he's told as he stands up to his feet and he walks to the center of the store to check on things.
"The Greatest" : Anyway, the match you're watching, it was awesome, right? Danny Vice and myself put a beating on The Wal-Mart Liberation.
Employee #1: Sure, if you want to say that.
"The Greatest" : Bastard, if you like your job, you better not speak to "The Greatest" like that. This week, at Slam, Skyler Striker is going to realize, one that bell has rung, that he has bit more than he can chew. He's been in the ring with people who are great. He's been in the ring with people that can make the audience stand in amazement at certain points of their matches. But, he's never been in the ring with "The Greatest." He's never been in the ring with the man who can put you into a hospital not just for an overnight stay, but for a week. Hell, if I feel like it, I can put you in the hospital for a month. I have that power, being the best and all. I can injure you so bad that you'll be in the hospital with a collapsed lung, a concussion, a broken leg, a broken arm, and for a broken face. Well, you're already in the hospital every other day for that last one, you were just born that way, but I can make it worse. I have that ability. The special something that you miss, Skyler. Vice has that something, Thunder doesn't.
Understand me this, Skyler. This match, at Slam, doesn't mean anything to me. I realize, just like all of my fans realize, that I could lie down for this match and STILL get the victory. That's right. Next week, however, is when things start to pick up. Vice and myself have the opportunity to regain our WCF Tag Team Titles and we're going to do just that. And at One, Vice is going to take your Hardcore Title and I'm going to take Thunder's Television Title. Before this week, you two were two of the hottest wrestlers not only in this company, but in the entire wrestling industry. You two were truly dominating, but that ends at Slam. You're going to run into a brick wall, and that wall is me. You're going to become a victim, a victim of "The Greatest." Are you prepared, my friend? Prepared to suffer a few broken bones? We'll see.
Employee #1: Do you realize that I'm not Skyler Striker, sir?
"The Greatest" : Yes, dumbass. I am talking to the camera. You don't want to be referred to as Skyler. That's lower than a two-cent whore standing at the corner in downtown Miami.
Employee #2: JJ! Hurry, I need you over here!
"The Greatest" : I'm sorry?
Employee #2: I need you.
"The Greatest" : Not until you refer to me by my name.
Employee #2: You're wasting time!
"The Greatest" : That's not my name.
Employee #2: Fine. "The Greatest," I need you over here.
JJ nods as he slowly makes his way over towards his employee. Jake stays with the employee at the desk and he watches the episode of Slam with him.
"The Greatest" : What do you need? My time is very valuable. You'll never believe how many fans I have, man. People that have never even heard of me cheer me.
Employee #2: Yeah, okay. I just thought you should know that a few minutes ago someone ran out of here with one of your candy bars.
"The Greatest" : What?!?!
Employee #2: Yeah. He grabbed it, tucked it, and ran.
"The Greatest" : Why didn't you stop him?
Employee #2: I didn't think it was a big deal.
"The Greatest" : You don't understand! Our candy bars are not normal candy bars! We have layers-upon-layers of chocolate! We have three different types of chocolate mixed together to make the ULTIMATE chocolate. Each candy bar costs a pretty penny to make!
Employee #2: That much?
"The Greatest" : Yeah, a penny. Now, if you'll excuse me, "The Greatest" is going to go get the candy bar back!
Biggs removes his shades from his pocket, opens them, and places them back over his eyes. He poses for a moment before running out of the store and running in a random direction in hopes of finding the candy bar snatcher. The employee shakes his head before going back over to the desk and taking a seat.
