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Post by Bonnie Blue on Mar 6, 2015 9:11:12 GMT -5
Ok, I want to preface this by saying, I never intended that to become a thing. It just... happened. As a writer, I'm basically a slave to the voices in my head. It's their way, or the highway, as the saying goes. So, I guess... what I want to ask is...
Is anyone enjoying this series, other than the two people I know of? Comments? Suggestions?
(I know, I know. My shoot is weak. It is what it is, and I can't seem to change it, no matter how hard I try.)
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Post by Jay Omega on Mar 6, 2015 10:15:19 GMT -5
I know I'm one of the two people you speak of, so my words may not hold much weight, but I will take every opportunity to tell you that you're an excellent writer, and one of my personal favourites here in the WCF. I've been enjoying the twisted roller coaster that has been the Adventures of Dark Johnny, but as I've pointed out, I'm a little biased.
Also, don't feel discouraged if you don't get a lot of feedback; fedding in general isn't really known for such. Very few people want to help a potential opponent improve in such a competitive setting.
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Post by God King Dune on Mar 6, 2015 11:15:48 GMT -5
I only read parts II and III when you posted them but I just went back and read I-IV consecutively and it'll probably be the highlight of my day. That's seriously some amazing work! You're so well-versed in sci-fi language and ideas it's not even fair. I take it you're an avid reader of the genre because that shit is on par with things I've read in actual novels. That's an unreal ability you possess.
The story itself is fascinating and leaves the reader (me, at least) moving from line to line with anticipation. You didn't lose my interest once, and that's saying something because I am easily distracted. If anything your writing is inspiring but it's so much more...it's so innovative, and your ideas, descriptions, vocabulary, and use of characters, settings, and humor are all top-notch.
If I had to pick out one fault, it'd be your match-relevancy and shoots. Not that your shoots aren't quality, but you don't spend a whole lot of time talking about your opponents. I think if you tried to focus on your opponents even half as much as you do your character-development you'd be golden. Platinum, really...or whatever's higher up than gold, because that's what you are now.
Really looking forward to more editions of the series. Keep up the good work!
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Post by Gemini Battle on Mar 6, 2015 12:02:55 GMT -5
I think dune said it best. As farvas storytelling goes its second to none. Im not a big fan of the genre but I can tell that you are.
I do the same thing, I find it hard to our match relevancy into an interrogation scene.
To help I would reccomend inserting a character from your world into the world of the WCF and get them involved and give them a reason to care as well as johnny reb so the chatter of wrestling flows a bit more fluently amidst the chaos that is the world of Johnny's tempus.
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Post by Kaz on Mar 6, 2015 13:08:49 GMT -5
It's been a great series! I don't get a lot of time to read everyone's promos every week, but I at least try to check yours out. I'm not a huge fan of the sci-fi genre so I'm not as well versed in the language and mythos as you are, so sometimes it goes a little over my head. But that being said, I can tell you're passionate about what you write, and that comes across in the page.
One word of advice I can give you for your shoot is: Don't be afraid to step on toes! This is efedding, haha! There are inherent risks to it, especially if you put a lot of "yourself" into the character, so to say. People are gonna get heated when you drag their character through the mud. But always go for the throat. They won't hate you for it in the end, unless they're one of THOSE guys or gals. It will help add some more quality to your work as well, and just make it feel like even more of a top-notch piece!
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