Post by Jayson Price on Sept 28, 2014 11:10:41 GMT -5
September 27th, 2014
Price Tower
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Mid Afternoon
The scene opens with a shot of Jayson Price sitting on his couch, a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels gripped firmly in his hand. We hear footsteps in the hall before Cameraman Bob walks into the shot.
Cameraman Bob: Jesus! Price you look like shit.
Jayson Price: Yeah well you look like a guy married to a whore.
Cameraman Bob: How much have you had to drink?
Jayson Price: Not enough to make you sound less annoying.
Cameraman Bob: And your pills! Your doctor told you not to drink while you were taking your pills.
Jayson Price: Yeah well what the fuck does he know.
Price takes a swig from his bottle.
Cameraman Bob: We were supposed to do a promo today, I told you about it last night.
Jayson Price: Well go get your fucking camera, we can still do this thing.
Cameraman Bob: Are you sure? I mean...
Jayson Price: Go get the fucking camera!
Bob scurries off as Price takes another swig. Next he pulls a small orange pill bottle from his pocket, pops it open, dumps a few pills into his mouth and then washes them down. Bob reappears with his camera and takes a seat opposite Price.
Cameraman Bob: All right, well I've got this list of names for WAR. I thought I'd just read them off and you-
Jayson Price: I know what the fuck to do Bob. It's not like this is something new.
Cameraman Bob: Fine then. Isaac Salinger.
Jayson Price: Should punch himself in the face for sullying the good name "Salinger" with his lack of talent. Catcher In The Rye is an American classic and JD Salinger is an icon that should be cherished. Without that book, millions of children in the 50's and 60's would have never learned the curse words integral to their development. For shame Isaac Salinger, for shame. You need to change your last name, switch careers, join a cult and then drink the punch.
Cameraman Bob: Night Rider.
Jayson Price: Mother fucker is still alive? Christ, that guys gotten beaten down and then returned so many times he should change his last name to Rice.
Cameraman Bob: Tobias Barnz.
Jayson Price: Needs to team up with a guy named Nobles and then immediately go out of business. Seriously. Just get the fuck out already, you're terrible. And why the fuck does your last name end in a Z? Is this the 1990's? All you're missing is a few numbers substituted for letters and you'll be a full fledged fucktard.
Cameraman Bob: Shawn Scholes.
Jayson Price: Who?
Cameraman Bob: How the fuck should I know? I'm just reading the names off the list.
Jayson Price: Well move the fuck along.
Cameraman Bob: Justin Cash.
Jayson Price: Did you say Jason Kash? Fuck that guy.
Cameraman Bob: I said Justin Cash, not Jason Kash.
Jayson Price: He changed his name?
Cameraman Bob: No, it's a different guy.
Jayson Price: Changed or not, he can go fuck himself.
Cameraman Bob: It's a completely different person, Jayson.
Jayson Price: That's what he wants you to think. And you've bought in to it, you buy inning dumbass. Move along.
Cameraman Bob: Jahani al-Reb.
Jayson Price: Dirty, camel fucking sand bitch. Somebody call up Seal Team Four, we've got another Arab that needs one in the head.
Cameraman Bob: That...that sounds incredibly racist. And why Seal Team Four? Why not Seal Team Six?
Jayson Price: Because you don't send James Bond to rescue a kitten from a tree.
Cameraman Bob: That...what?
Jayson Price: Exactly.
Cameraman Bob: Kazy Mazy.
Jayson Price: Is that a wrestler or a cartoon character?
Cameraman Bob: These days it's probably both.
Jayson Price: Whatever happened to good names? What ever happened to predictability? The milk man, the paper boy, evening T.V.?
Cameraman Bob: Was that the opening to Full House?
Jayson Price: Was what what now?
Cameraman Bob: Nevermind. Brent Alpine?
Jayson Price: I don't know him, but he sounds like the type to whine like a bitch.
Cameraman Bob: Deuce Murdock.
Jayson Price: More like "A deuce dropped in the toilet Murdock", am I right?
Cameraman Bob: Bryan Worthy.
Jayson Price: A poor man's Scoops Callahan.
Cameraman Bob: Hyena.
Jayson Price: Cheetah? Cheetah is still around?! Holy fuck, I thought for sure he'd have switched his name by now.
Cameraman Bob: Livewire.
Jayson Price: Isn't that a flavor of Mountain Dew?
Cameraman Bob: It is.
Jayson Price: Fuck Mountain Dew. You can't mix anything with Mountain Dew.
Cameraman Bob: Jay Omega.
Jayson Price: Isn't that the jackass who was convinced I was somebody else?
Cameraman Bob: He was.
Jayson Price: Fuck that guy. There's only one Jayson Price, everyone knows that.
Cameraman Bob: Louis Bartkowski.
Jayson Price: Oh come on! That's a fake name if I ever heard one.
Cameraman Bob: It's not a fake name! It's right here on the list, see.
Jayson Price: The only thing I see is a drawing of me fucking your wife.
Cameraman Bob: ...
Jayson Price: ...
Cameraman Bob: John Gable
Jayson Price: Poop.
Cameraman Bob: Poop?
Jayson Price: Fuck you, I don't have a witty comment for everyone. Let's hear you come up with something better than "poop".
Cameraman Bob: Cunt nugget?
Jayson Price: Fuck, that is better.
Cameraman Bob: Zombie McMorris
Jayson Price: Poor man's Jordan Caliban.
Cameraman Bob: Alex Richards
Jayson Price: Poorer man's Greenfever.
Cameraman Bob: The Ultimate Destroyer
Jayson Price: Something, something, he couldn't even destroy a wet paper towel.
Cameraman Bob: That was terrible.
Jayson Price: Yeah well they can't all be gems.
Cameraman Bob: Chelsea Armstrong
Jayson Price: Hey, call me maybe?
Cameraman Bob: That reference is badly outdated.
Jayson Price: No, you're badly outdated! But seriously, I'd put it in her butt.
Cameraman Bob: Cormack MacNeill
Jayson Price: Just a bitch that could never beat me.
Cameraman Bob: Steeltoe Joe
Jayson Price: You're following the wrong religion Joe. Follow the bottles!
Cameraman Bob: Tyler Walker and Biohazard.
Jayson Price: Hold on. You can't just go switching things up and throw two names at me at once.
Cameraman Bob: But these two are so horrible I figured you wouldn't need to think as long.
Jayson Price: Fair enough.
Cameraman Bob: Well?
Jayson Price: Well what?
Cameraman Bob: Nevermind. Doc Henry.
Jayson Price: Is that mother fucker really still around?
Cameraman Bob: Yep. Just like Night Rider, this mother fucker is still around.
Jayson Price: Well fuck. Oh well, it's not like he'll ever matter enough for me to worry about him.
Cameraman Bob: Gravedigger.
Jayson Price: Old man is old. I'd hit him with a Downfall but I'm afraid I might break his hip.
Cameraman Bob: Johnny Reb.
Jayson Price: Didn't we already talk about him?
Cameraman Bob: That was Jahani al-Reb.
Jayson Price: And who are we talking about now?
Cameraman Bob: Johnny Reb.
Jayson Price: Johnny Reb...Jahani al-Reb...am I missing something?
Cameraman Bob: Let's just move on. We've got a few more names on here and you look ready to fall over at any minute.
Jayson Price: Your mother.
Cameraman Bob: Steve Orbit.
Jayson Price: Dirty, rotten son of a bitch. Just wait until I crush his skull with all the chairs. ALL THE CHAIRS!
Cameraman Bob: Bobby Cairo.
Jayson Price: Only thing thick on him is his midsection and his old man titties. That's right, I said it. Bobby Cairo is old and is starting to grow old man bitch titties. Somebody tell gramps it's time to give up already.
Cameraman Bob: Torture.
Jayson Price: Bitch can eat a dick. A big, old, floppy dick. Also, why was he talking like he, Corey Black and I were running WCF at some point? Last I checked I was the CFO while with Pantheon, not This_Is_WAR. God damn moron can't even keep track of what's real and what's not.
Cameraman Bob: Daniel Booker.
Jayson Price: I've got no clue who that is.
Cameraman Bob: He's in Pantheon, how do you not know who he is?
Jayson Price: Do you know everyone that's fucked your wife?
Cameraman Bob: That has nothing to do with the question I asked.
Jayson Price: Doesn't it?
Cameraman Bob: No, it doesn't.
Jayson Price: Exactly.
Cameraman Bob: Corey Black.
Jayson Price: Future jobber to ICE Beckman. And that's me being optimistic. If you want me to be realistic, post match he's going to need the same therapist Ray Rice's wife uses.
Cameraman Bob: Jeff Purse.
Jayson Price: Fuck puppets and fuck Jeff Purse. Not too big of a shock that he's got a hand up his ass now, bitch always loved having shit shoved up there.
Cameraman Bob: Jonny Fly.
Jayson Price: Past his prime, just like everyone else compared to the all mighty Jayson Price.
Price lets out a mighty, drunken belch and then falls out of his chair. The camera lingers on his sleeping face before the camera cuts to black.
Price Tower
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Mid Afternoon
The scene opens with a shot of Jayson Price sitting on his couch, a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels gripped firmly in his hand. We hear footsteps in the hall before Cameraman Bob walks into the shot.
Cameraman Bob: Jesus! Price you look like shit.
Jayson Price: Yeah well you look like a guy married to a whore.
Cameraman Bob: How much have you had to drink?
Jayson Price: Not enough to make you sound less annoying.
Cameraman Bob: And your pills! Your doctor told you not to drink while you were taking your pills.
Jayson Price: Yeah well what the fuck does he know.
Price takes a swig from his bottle.
Cameraman Bob: We were supposed to do a promo today, I told you about it last night.
Jayson Price: Well go get your fucking camera, we can still do this thing.
Cameraman Bob: Are you sure? I mean...
Jayson Price: Go get the fucking camera!
Bob scurries off as Price takes another swig. Next he pulls a small orange pill bottle from his pocket, pops it open, dumps a few pills into his mouth and then washes them down. Bob reappears with his camera and takes a seat opposite Price.
Cameraman Bob: All right, well I've got this list of names for WAR. I thought I'd just read them off and you-
Jayson Price: I know what the fuck to do Bob. It's not like this is something new.
Cameraman Bob: Fine then. Isaac Salinger.
Jayson Price: Should punch himself in the face for sullying the good name "Salinger" with his lack of talent. Catcher In The Rye is an American classic and JD Salinger is an icon that should be cherished. Without that book, millions of children in the 50's and 60's would have never learned the curse words integral to their development. For shame Isaac Salinger, for shame. You need to change your last name, switch careers, join a cult and then drink the punch.
Cameraman Bob: Night Rider.
Jayson Price: Mother fucker is still alive? Christ, that guys gotten beaten down and then returned so many times he should change his last name to Rice.
Cameraman Bob: Tobias Barnz.
Jayson Price: Needs to team up with a guy named Nobles and then immediately go out of business. Seriously. Just get the fuck out already, you're terrible. And why the fuck does your last name end in a Z? Is this the 1990's? All you're missing is a few numbers substituted for letters and you'll be a full fledged fucktard.
Cameraman Bob: Shawn Scholes.
Jayson Price: Who?
Cameraman Bob: How the fuck should I know? I'm just reading the names off the list.
Jayson Price: Well move the fuck along.
Cameraman Bob: Justin Cash.
Jayson Price: Did you say Jason Kash? Fuck that guy.
Cameraman Bob: I said Justin Cash, not Jason Kash.
Jayson Price: He changed his name?
Cameraman Bob: No, it's a different guy.
Jayson Price: Changed or not, he can go fuck himself.
Cameraman Bob: It's a completely different person, Jayson.
Jayson Price: That's what he wants you to think. And you've bought in to it, you buy inning dumbass. Move along.
Cameraman Bob: Jahani al-Reb.
Jayson Price: Dirty, camel fucking sand bitch. Somebody call up Seal Team Four, we've got another Arab that needs one in the head.
Cameraman Bob: That...that sounds incredibly racist. And why Seal Team Four? Why not Seal Team Six?
Jayson Price: Because you don't send James Bond to rescue a kitten from a tree.
Cameraman Bob: That...what?
Jayson Price: Exactly.
Cameraman Bob: Kazy Mazy.
Jayson Price: Is that a wrestler or a cartoon character?
Cameraman Bob: These days it's probably both.
Jayson Price: Whatever happened to good names? What ever happened to predictability? The milk man, the paper boy, evening T.V.?
Cameraman Bob: Was that the opening to Full House?
Jayson Price: Was what what now?
Cameraman Bob: Nevermind. Brent Alpine?
Jayson Price: I don't know him, but he sounds like the type to whine like a bitch.
Cameraman Bob: Deuce Murdock.
Jayson Price: More like "A deuce dropped in the toilet Murdock", am I right?
Cameraman Bob: Bryan Worthy.
Jayson Price: A poor man's Scoops Callahan.
Cameraman Bob: Hyena.
Jayson Price: Cheetah? Cheetah is still around?! Holy fuck, I thought for sure he'd have switched his name by now.
Cameraman Bob: Livewire.
Jayson Price: Isn't that a flavor of Mountain Dew?
Cameraman Bob: It is.
Jayson Price: Fuck Mountain Dew. You can't mix anything with Mountain Dew.
Cameraman Bob: Jay Omega.
Jayson Price: Isn't that the jackass who was convinced I was somebody else?
Cameraman Bob: He was.
Jayson Price: Fuck that guy. There's only one Jayson Price, everyone knows that.
Cameraman Bob: Louis Bartkowski.
Jayson Price: Oh come on! That's a fake name if I ever heard one.
Cameraman Bob: It's not a fake name! It's right here on the list, see.
Jayson Price: The only thing I see is a drawing of me fucking your wife.
Cameraman Bob: ...
Jayson Price: ...
Cameraman Bob: John Gable
Jayson Price: Poop.
Cameraman Bob: Poop?
Jayson Price: Fuck you, I don't have a witty comment for everyone. Let's hear you come up with something better than "poop".
Cameraman Bob: Cunt nugget?
Jayson Price: Fuck, that is better.
Cameraman Bob: Zombie McMorris
Jayson Price: Poor man's Jordan Caliban.
Cameraman Bob: Alex Richards
Jayson Price: Poorer man's Greenfever.
Cameraman Bob: The Ultimate Destroyer
Jayson Price: Something, something, he couldn't even destroy a wet paper towel.
Cameraman Bob: That was terrible.
Jayson Price: Yeah well they can't all be gems.
Cameraman Bob: Chelsea Armstrong
Jayson Price: Hey, call me maybe?
Cameraman Bob: That reference is badly outdated.
Jayson Price: No, you're badly outdated! But seriously, I'd put it in her butt.
Cameraman Bob: Cormack MacNeill
Jayson Price: Just a bitch that could never beat me.
Cameraman Bob: Steeltoe Joe
Jayson Price: You're following the wrong religion Joe. Follow the bottles!
Cameraman Bob: Tyler Walker and Biohazard.
Jayson Price: Hold on. You can't just go switching things up and throw two names at me at once.
Cameraman Bob: But these two are so horrible I figured you wouldn't need to think as long.
Jayson Price: Fair enough.
Cameraman Bob: Well?
Jayson Price: Well what?
Cameraman Bob: Nevermind. Doc Henry.
Jayson Price: Is that mother fucker really still around?
Cameraman Bob: Yep. Just like Night Rider, this mother fucker is still around.
Jayson Price: Well fuck. Oh well, it's not like he'll ever matter enough for me to worry about him.
Cameraman Bob: Gravedigger.
Jayson Price: Old man is old. I'd hit him with a Downfall but I'm afraid I might break his hip.
Cameraman Bob: Johnny Reb.
Jayson Price: Didn't we already talk about him?
Cameraman Bob: That was Jahani al-Reb.
Jayson Price: And who are we talking about now?
Cameraman Bob: Johnny Reb.
Jayson Price: Johnny Reb...Jahani al-Reb...am I missing something?
Cameraman Bob: Let's just move on. We've got a few more names on here and you look ready to fall over at any minute.
Jayson Price: Your mother.
Cameraman Bob: Steve Orbit.
Jayson Price: Dirty, rotten son of a bitch. Just wait until I crush his skull with all the chairs. ALL THE CHAIRS!
Cameraman Bob: Bobby Cairo.
Jayson Price: Only thing thick on him is his midsection and his old man titties. That's right, I said it. Bobby Cairo is old and is starting to grow old man bitch titties. Somebody tell gramps it's time to give up already.
Cameraman Bob: Torture.
Jayson Price: Bitch can eat a dick. A big, old, floppy dick. Also, why was he talking like he, Corey Black and I were running WCF at some point? Last I checked I was the CFO while with Pantheon, not This_Is_WAR. God damn moron can't even keep track of what's real and what's not.
Cameraman Bob: Daniel Booker.
Jayson Price: I've got no clue who that is.
Cameraman Bob: He's in Pantheon, how do you not know who he is?
Jayson Price: Do you know everyone that's fucked your wife?
Cameraman Bob: That has nothing to do with the question I asked.
Jayson Price: Doesn't it?
Cameraman Bob: No, it doesn't.
Jayson Price: Exactly.
Cameraman Bob: Corey Black.
Jayson Price: Future jobber to ICE Beckman. And that's me being optimistic. If you want me to be realistic, post match he's going to need the same therapist Ray Rice's wife uses.
Cameraman Bob: Jeff Purse.
Jayson Price: Fuck puppets and fuck Jeff Purse. Not too big of a shock that he's got a hand up his ass now, bitch always loved having shit shoved up there.
Cameraman Bob: Jonny Fly.
Jayson Price: Past his prime, just like everyone else compared to the all mighty Jayson Price.
Price lets out a mighty, drunken belch and then falls out of his chair. The camera lingers on his sleeping face before the camera cuts to black.
