Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2014 10:56:07 GMT -5
The scene opens up in the backyard of some quiet neighborhood. The camera angle is at the back of one of the houses overlooking a pool and something looks really familiar about this scene. Panning around the area at the nearby houses reveals nothing to be honest. There’s no noises coming from any direction. No person in sight. No toys in the backyards. Nothing but pools, patios and decks, grills. It’s not really early in the morning either. Looking at the sun it seems to be mid-day but there’s not a person or animal in sight. Suddenly a noise can be heard at the pool in front of the camera.
A man sits up on one of the pool chairs, looking around with a confused look on his face. It’s Gravedigger. Gravedigger stands up and looks around some more and even looks down at the pool for a few seconds. He turns in the direction of the camera, but doesn’t acknowledge it like he normally does, as if he doesn’t even see it. He finally speaks.
Gravedigger: What the hell is going on here? This is my parents’ old house.
It becomes immediately apparent that Gravedigger is at the site of where his twin sister died and this is the pool in front of Gravedigger. He walks over to the side of the pool area and shielding the sun from his eyes with his hand, he looks around. There’s no one in sight. Gravedigger still looks confused and finally walks across the pool area and hops up the steps of the deck area and up to the sliding glass door. He slides the door open and cautiously walks in.
It’s confirmed that this is definitely his parents’ old house as pictures on the wall can be seen of people that look like a younger version of Gravedigger and a younger version of Chester. More recent pictures can be seen in some places of them in the ring. Gravedigger walks around the house, apparently looking for someone. Everything is in perfect condition. Not a soul in the house. Gravedigger’s mom was always a stay-at-home mom after her boys were born so this is unusual.
Gravedigger walks towards the front door, opens it and walks outside. His parents’ home was always on a decently busy street. Gravedigger stops at the road and scratches his head, looking back and forth, expecting to see at least a few cars. Nothing and no one in sight. No one walking, driving, or cutting their lawn. No dogs, cats, or birds. Gravedigger reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone. He hits the button on it and unlocks it. The cell signal symbol is gone.
Gravedigger: What the hell…
Gravedigger tries calling someone anyway but to no luck. Same with texting and with accessing the Internet. He stands there completely dumbfounded when he finally hears a noise. It’s a splash, followed by more splashing. He hurries back into the house and out to the back, standing at the top of the deck. Someone is in the pool, under water. Gravedigger runs over to the steps and runs down them. He quickly takes off his boots and shirt, then dives in.
His vision is blurred as he opens his eyes underwater. He sees his twin sister on the bottom of the pool, stuck to one of the main drains. Gravedigger is panicked and confused at the same time. He immediately kicks his legs as he swims towards her in the deep end to save her despite realizing this is likely a dream. As he gets most of the way over to her, he suddenly feels something brush his leg and he turns to see his brother Chester underwater, grabbing for his leg as he swam past. Chester is on the bottom of the pool, stuck on one of the main drains as well.
Gravedigger turns with a confused look on his face back towards his sister Jenn and jumps as someone is a foot away from him flailing for him. It’s his mother in the same position as Jenn and Chester. Something catches his eye out of the corner of it and he turns to see his father on another. Then he turns and sees JJ and Brian. Panic sets in even worse. Gravedigger isn’t sure what to do. Finally, he turns and pushes past his mother and swims as fast as he can towards his sister. Just like when they were 14, he grabs at the drain and tries to free her. He pulls with all of his might, this time not as a small 14 year old, but a big, muscular 39 year old wrestler. He grits his teeth and his face becomes masked by the massive amount of bubbles that fly up from his mouth and nose as he puts his strength into pulling something that should easily pop out, but won’t. His sister’s flailing and thrashing eventually ceases like before and he looks up in horror as he has just witnessed her passing out and likely dying once more.
Gravedigger quickly turns around and to his horror, everyone else in the pool has gone limp, their eyes lifeless. More bubbles fly up from Gravedigger as he yells underwater in rage. He quickly goes to jump to the surface, but is stuck. He looks down and sees that he, too, is trapped. He pulls on the drain, confusion and panic setting in once again. The lack of oxygen shreds his lungs and he flails about, trying to think of something, anything, but then everything goes black.
Gravedigger sits straight up, gasping loudly. He looks around and even though it’s dark, red light from outside is enough for him to realize that he’s in a hotel room. He’s lying in a bed. Someone stirs beside him. The person speaks.
Feminine Voice: Baby, what’s wrong?
It’s JJ’s voice. The realization of where Gravedigger is finally hits him. He’s not in the pool, drowning along with his family and JJ. He’s in some rundown motel in Phoenix, Arizona. His fellow bikers are in the rooms around him and down the hall. He’s trying to rest the night before WCF’s War pay-per-view. He’s drenched in sweat. He throws the covers off and walks over to the sink that’s in the room and turns on the light in the mirror and turns on the water. He splashes himself with the water and pats his face and chest dry with a nearby towel. He looks in the mirror for a few seconds, still half shaking from the nightmare.
JJ: John? Are you alright?
Gravedigger turns and walks back over to the bed. He gets back under the covers and pulls JJ down, putting his arm around her and resting his head on his pillow.
Gravedigger: Yeah. It was just a nightmare. Don’t worry about it. Let’s get some sleep.
JJ leans over and Gravedigger turns his head towards her and they kiss lightly on the lips. She then rests her head on his shoulder and they both close their eyes. The scene fades out.
=====================
The scene fades into a rundown warehouse and the words “One Day Later” appears on the screen.
Ship horns can be heard off in the distance as well as seagulls giving the indication that this is taking place in a port area. A few biker thugs of MS-13 are standing around talking. Others are sitting at a table, playing some kind of card game. Adrian stands near a door that goes deeper into the warehouse and the sounds of two men yelling can be heard on the other side of the door. Another can be heard pleading.
The door to the outside of the warehouse is knocked on sharply and Adrian gestures to one of the bikers to get the door. The guy walks over casually and opens the door. He looks out and gestures for the person to enter. In walks WCF interviewer Hank Brown.
Adrian: Mr. Brown. Glad you could join us.
Hank Brown smiles at Adrian and waves.
Hank Brown: Adrian! Good to see you! Um…
Hank Brown looks around at everyone in the room, most likely looking for Gravedigger. He finally looks back at Adrian.
Hank Brown: So where’s Gravedigger? He told me to meet him here. Something about one more interview for tomorrow’s War?
Adrian: He’s busy.
Hank has a confused look on his face as he waits for Adrian to say something else.
Hank Brown: So should I com---
One of the voices from behind the door Adrian is standing in front of can suddenly be heard.
VOICE: OH GOD!! AHHHH! I know nothing! I told you I don’t know!
More screams of pain can be heard coming from behind the door. Hank Brown’s eyes grow wide and he points to the door where Adrian looks like he doesn’t even hear the voices.
Hank Brown: What is going on back there?
Adrian looks at Hank Brown curiously.
Adrian: Back where?
Hank Brown: Behind you. Behind that door.
Adrian: What do you mean?
Hank Brown: You didn’t hear that screaming and the voices?
Adrian: Nope. You hearing voices, Hank? You sure you don’t need to see a doctor?
Hank Brown: Oh come on, I know you heard that screaming.
More screams of pain are heard coming from behind the door.
Voice: MY ARM!!! AHHHH!
Another Voice: Tell me where the money is! NOW!!
Hank Brown: See those voices!
Adrian: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I hear nothing. Boys, do you hear anything?
The bikers turn to Hank and shrug, shaking their heads no. Hank is looking frustrated. The noise behind the door finally stops and after a minute the door opens. Out walks WCF wrestler Gravedigger, his knuckles and hands in general are slightly bloody. He turns to Adrian.
Gravedigger: 58th street. Blue building. In the safe.
Adrian tilts his head towards Hank, gesturing. Hank looks at Gravedigger’s hands, his eyes wide with shock. Adrian then heads into the other room, shutting the door behind him.
Hank Brown: What the hell is up with your hands? Were you responsible for the screaming back there? What the hell!
Gravedigger smirks.
Gravedigger: What screaming? I didn’t hear anything, Hank.
Gravedigger walks over to a nearby sink and washes his hands thoroughly a couple of times with hot water and lots of soap.
Hank walks over beside Gravedigger and points at his hands.
Hank Brown: What are you talking about? There was blood all over your hands!
Gravedigger dries his hands off, scoffing and turns to Hank.
Gravedigger: What are you talking about? That wasn’t blood. That was, um, ketchup, Hank. What can I say? I’m a messy eater. We were eating these awesome hamburgers from this joint down the road. You should try them.
Hank Brown: Maybe I will.
Hank Brown turns and starts walking towards the door where Gravedigger emerged. He stops as he hears the sound of several chairs scraping. He looks and sees everyone looking at him. Gravedigger lightly chuckles.
Gravedigger: Hank. Don’t let your curious side get you into trouble. There’s no burgers back there, there’s nothing for you to see back there. If you’re hungry, I’ll take you through a Wendy’s drive thru and we’ll pick you up something on our way to do the interview.
Before Hank can respond, a ringer goes off. Gravedigger reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone. He hits a button and lifts it up to his ear.
Gravedigger: Hey, boss. Yeah. Yeah I let Adrian know where it is. Wait, what? I have the pay-per-view tonight. Yes, I understand that I owe you now and you’re cashing in. Fine. I’ll head over there here soon. I’ll take Jorge and Carlos with me. Yeah, no cameras. Yeah. Later.
Gravedigger hits a button on the phone and puts it back in his pocket.
Gravedigger: Hank, no time for a burger. We gotta do this interview on the way. I’m gonna drop you off and have another errand to run before I head to the arena later.
Hank Brown sighs.
Hank Brown: Ok fine. Let’s go then.
Gravedigger turns to two of the men.
Gravedigger: Jorge, Carlos. We got an errand to run. You’re riding with me.
Two of the bikers walk with Gravedigger and Hank to the door that leads outside. They go out and walk up to a black SUV and all four men get inside. They buckle up as Gravedigger brings the SUV to life. His phone goes off again and he pulls it out of his pocket and answers it. Right before he does, he looks at the number curiously.
Gravedigger: Hello? WHAT? Yes, I’ll accept. Chester what the fuck? What did you do? Why didn’t you call Mom or Dad? Brian? Ok yeah, that was definitely going to be the wrong person to call. Fine. I’ll head over there. Just stay put. No fuck you, that was funny you asshole.
Gravedigger throws the phone down onto the console. He looks out in front of the SUV for a second and then turns to Hank.
Gravedigger: Look, I’m going to have to cancel the interview on you. That was Chester. He used his one phone call from jail to call me. He got picked up the other night for drinking and driving.
Hank Brown’s face falls and he sighs. Gravedigger reaches into his pocket and sticks a wad of cash in Hank’s hand.
Gravedigger: That’s enough to get you a cab to the arena. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up another week.
Hank Brown and Gravedigger shake hands as Hank nods. He opens his door and gets out. As soon as he shuts his door, Gravedigger pulls away and the scene fades out.
===========================
The scene fades back into the SUV again, this time with Chester seated in the back seat instead of Hank Brown. Chester looks frustrated and he leans forward a little, looking at Gravedigger.
Chester: Dude, you seriously couldn’t let me ride in the front seat?
Gravedigger shakes his head.
Gravedigger: No, you apparently are more used to the backseat here lately. I figured you were more at home there seeing as how this isn’t the first time recently you’ve been arrested.
Chester punches the back of Gravedigger’s seat, much to the chagrin of the MS-13 member sitting beside him.
Chester: Man, fuck you, John.
Gravedigger: Nope, fuck you, Chester.
Chester looks over at the biker sitting beside him and grins, nodding.
Chester: What’s up, dude?
The biker shakes his head in disappointment.
Chester: Yo, can I join your biker gang? Can I be a member of MS-13?
The biker shakes his head.
Biker: No, homes, you can’t even avoid getting put in jail for drinking and driving, you ain’t one of us.
Chester: I wasn’t serious anway, I don’t want to join your stupid club.
The biker hauls off and punches Chester. Chester punches back and before you know it, they are both wailing on each other in the backseat. The car comes to a screeching halt, horns honking around them. Gravedigger turns around.
Gravedigger: That’s enough you morons! Cut it out!
The two men stop hitting each other. Chester looks pissed off. Gravedigger turns around and starts driving down the road again. Finally, Chester breaks the silence.
Chester: So how did you pay for my bail?
Gravedigger: Mom and Dad.
Chester has a pissed off look on his face.
Chester: Shit. So they know?
Gravedigger: Yeah.
Chester: Thanks a lot, asshole. Why didn’t you just keep it quiet and get the money from Diagur or something? Your gang couldn’t lend you the money?
Gravedigger: No. Diagur’s not exactly happy with me at the moment. He wanted the nightclub or at least some of the money I made off of it. I’m kinda working off a debt for them by running some errands and participating in some…activities.
Chester: No shit? You breaking legs and moving dope or something?
The biker in the front seat looks over at Gravedigger with a “is he serious?” look. The one sitting beside Chester laughs and shakes his head.
Chester: What? What did I say? Look, I can help.
Gravedigger: No you can’t. I’m not letting you in MS-13. You’re not capable of keeping things quiet like we do. You’re going to get yourself into trouble first thing. Besides, you can’t even drive anymore.
Chester leans forward.
Chester: What the hell are you talking about?
Gravedigger: Your license is revoked.
Chester: Since when?!
Gravedigger laughs and rolls his eyes.
Gravedigger: Since Mom and Dad told me to take it away. Your car is gone, too.
Chester: What the fuck?! You can’t do that!
Gravedigger: Fuck you, I can! You gotta learn how to handle your shit better. Do that and you can get your car and license back.
Before Chester can argue anymore the vehicle pulls over into a parking spot. It’s at a local community center.
Chester: Why the hell are we stopping here?
Gravedigger: This is where you get out.
Chester: The community center? Take me back to my place. Why are we sto---oh fuck you, John.
Chester finally notices the Alcoholics Anonymous sign on one of the doors. It’s meeting today. Suddenly, Chester’s door opens and another MS-13 member is standing there. He grabs Chester and drags him kicking from the SUV. Gravedigger climbs out of the vehicle as well.
Chester: What the hell is this?!
Gravedigger: It’s for your own good, Chester. You’re attending this meeting and next week’s meeting. If I don’t get a chip from you in a few weeks with your name on it, I’ll be giving you an up close meeting with members of MS-13. You won’t be part of the gang, they’ll be meeting with you for other reasons. Juan, stay with him. Make sure he doesn’t leave. They know he’s hostile and that he’ll try to leave.
The biker nods and pounds fists with Gravedigger. Chester hurls obscenities in Gravedigger’s direction as he tries to fight the grip of Juan. Passersby both on foot and in cars slow down and look. Gravedigger sighs in frustration as he gets back in the SUV. He pulls away from the curb once traffic is clear and the scene fades out once more.
===========================
EARLIER TODAY
The scene fades in one last time to the backstage area of the US Airways Center, the site of tonight’s War PPV. The interview area has just been set up for when wrestlers are interviewed backstage before and after their matches. Gravedigger and JJ are standing there in the spot where the wrestlers and interviewers stand. Some makeup lady is trying to apply makeup to Gravedigger who keeps swatting at her, keeping her away.
Gravedigger: I said I don’t need no make up. Get off me!
The woman jumps and marches off camera. Gravedigger glances off camera at someone, nods and then turns to the camera.
Gravedigger: Ladies and gentlemen. Fans and fellow wrestlers of WCF, what you’re witnessing right now on your TV screen is a preview of tonight’s War. You’re getting a preview of what’s to come. You’re getting a FREE look at the War XIII winner…yours truly, Gravedigger.
Yes, that’s right. I’m that confident that on the morning of battle I am calling it right here and now that I will be the winner of War. The second two-time War winner in history! Logan, baby gurl, I’m coming for you and that record starting TONIGHT!
You may be asking yourself how does Gravedigger know he’s going to be the one that wins? How can he be this confident, this cocky, this arrogant? It’s simple ladies and gentlemen. You’ve heard for days on end from the competition and while it’s true that we still have half a day, you know by now if someone has waited this long to put their ugly mug on camera that they aren’t really sure of themselves. If you’ve been watching each of these scum-sucking leeches, these so-called wrestlers and their promos you’d know that the only people worth a damn are myself and Bobby Cairo.
I’m not naming that legendary son of a bitch Bobby Cairo just because we’re both legends in this business. I’m not naming him because we’re both Hall of Famers. I’m also not naming him because we once double teamed Selma Hayek either.
JJ hauls off and slaps Gravedigger across the face. Gravedigger puts a hand to his face and looks at her shocked.
Gravedigger: WHAT?! You were out of town and I HAVE NEEDS, woman!
JJ delivers another slap to the face before storming off camera.
Gravedigger: Bitches.
Gravedigger turns back to the camera.
Gravedigger: I’m naming Bobby Cairo because the rest of the competition sucks this year. When you look up at the TV screen or up at the ring from your seats in the crowd and you see Gravedigger in the middle of the ring with his hand held high and his music playing, he’s not even going to be on top of the world about this win. Who is going to brag about a win over subpar competition? Yeah, if I end up eliminating Bobby Cairo, I’ll consider that a victory and if I eliminate Jay Price, I’ll of course brag about that for obvious reasons, but what’s there to fucking brag about this year?
Let’s start at the top so I can explain to you why the competition is trash this year. When I say the top, I don’t mean with the people most likely to be actual competition in tonight’s match, no I’m talking about the WCF World Champion. Ice Beckman. But Gravedigger, he’s not in the War match. No shit, shut the fuck up and sit down. I’m starting with Ice Beckman, because I’m calling it right now that this year’s War match isn’t for the World title this year because Ice Beckman is scared. Now, before Jeff Purse pulls his hand out of his puppet’s asshole and give his usual response to comments like that, yes I know Ice doesn’t decide the matches here in WCF.
Everybody knows that the World champion has sway. Ice Beckman has no one to defend the world title against despite a match full of competition; he’s instead in the ring for the tag team titles. What is this shit? And you know that Jonny Fly is glad that he is in the tag title match, too. Yeah, he’s having to wrestle in two matches which isn’t the ideal thing for a wrestler who wants to win War, but hey when you’ve started slipping like Jonny Fly obviously has then you’re glad to have that excuse in your back pocket, right? Corey Black is also in this match. He’s made it clear before that Corey Black doesn’t give a fuck about War and here is another man glad to have the excuse that he was in two matches and that’s why he didn’t win War. Don’t think I forgot about Steve Orbit. This guy hasn’t really been slipping and I wouldn’t really call him cowardly like I implied the world champion is, but I’m talking shit about Steve Orbit for that Viagra crack in his promo the other day. Look Orbit, the only reason I would need Viagra is because your bitch ass momma never tires out. Even someone as awesome as me can’t go any longer at some point.
JJ walks back on screen from out of nowhere and slaps Gravedigger again. He glares at her as she walks off camera, rubbing his cheek. He finally looks back at the camera again.
Gravedigger: But nah, I’ll get to you guys later, let’s go back to the world champion real quick. Like Jeff Purse loved to insist, you don’t decide who is in which match, but surely someone who thinks he’s as great as you think you are would jump at the chance to enter War. Ice Beckman, you could have been the first ever World champion to walk into War the champion and walk back out still holding the belt. You could have done what NvL couldn’t do last year, but you were obviously too scared to do it. You’re too excited to have the opportunity to put Steve Orbit in the ring with his former Pantheon buddies while you sit on a stool in your corner scribbling doodles and drawing up your cute little comics. Maybe you can draw a picture of you fighting off everyone in War and emerging victorious since it won’t happen in person.
Gravedigger looks off camera and gestures for something to be given to him. He holds his hands up and catches a bottle of water. He unscrews the lid and takes a swallow of the water and then continues.
Gravedigger: So let’s go back to my earlier comments on Jonny Fly slipping. I know people are going to wonder exactly what the hell I was talking about with that comment since Fly is still winning and he’s still got gold around his waist. I said Fly’s slipping simply because of that ridiculous promo he cut the other day. What was that trash? Is that trash supposed to make everyone think you’re going to be the War winner? Is that supposed to boost everyone’s confidence that you’re going to walk out of War with the tag titles still on your shoulder and a shot at the WCF World title as well? Bitch, please.
Seriously, what was that garbage you put out the other night? We sat through what seemed like hours of interviews and talk about Jonny Fly from conception to wrestling. We hear the story of Jonny Fly’s time in some other company that no one gives a shit about. Here, why don’t you zoom in the camera a little bit and I’ll tell you the story of my time in NCW? Or how I about I talk for an hour about my start in the wrestling business?
The camera zooms in slightly. Gravedigger squints at the camera.
Gravedigger: Did you really zoom in? I was kidding. Nobody wants to hear that shit.
The camera zooms back out.
Gravedigger: Nobody gives a damn about some other company when they put down their hard-earned cash to watch us duke it out at War. All the fans give a damn about is WCF. Jonny Fly, you disappoint me. I’ve always had respect for you and had some admiration for you despite you being a member of Pantheon, but seriously, what is this shit? You want to sit here and not win War two years in a row? The hell kind of elite WCF wrestler are you?
Your second promo was EVEN BETTER. Here we get a glimpse at the very near future career of Jonny Fly: hallmark greeting card writer. Really Fly? We go from you returning to WCF after months and winning War, an amazing feat here in WCF to you writing cards to all the participants in War to put in medical-themed gift baskets. One of the best parts to me was that what you said about me in your little letter amounted to not a damn thing. You failed to pull the trigger. I do have to at least commend you for not acting predictable like the Puppet Master Purse and talking about how old I am, but come on. We’ve had our differences in the past, but that seems behind us. I was winning last time you were here.
That’s it? Fly this is War. I’ve pulled no punches with you. Yeah we’ve gotten along the last few times we were on camera together, but this is fucking War. I’m coming in there not to shake your hand, ask how you and the family are doing and possibly share a bag of hot fries with you. No, no. I’m coming into that ring, grabbing that hand that you extend for a handshake, pulling you in and propping you up on my shoulder and then dropping to the mat as your cranium impacts with it and pinning you for the three count. Then I’m going to fish out that bag of hot fries from your pocket, eat a couple because who the fuck can resist some hot fries and then I’m going to jam a couple of them up your nose and pinch your nostrils just to be an asshole. It’s funny that I’ve been criticized in the past by Fly for holding onto my past yet we sit through the Life and Times of Jonny Fly for what seemed like a fucking year the other night. Let’s move on!
Gravedigger pauses to drink some water.
Gravedigger: So yeah, let’s move on to Corey Black. Corey I’m surprised that we finally saw your face this week. To be honest, it was barely necessary. I mean we all know that Jonny Fly has been carrying that team while Corey just sits back and watches his legacy and list of accomplishments just fatten up that much more. We all know when it boils down to it that Corey Black doesn’t actually give a damn about WCF anymore. He hasn’t for years. He only puts forth the idea that he gives enough of a damn to keep Seth from axing his XIII shows…which we ironically haven’t seen in a while. Corey feels great about having two matches tonight so that when he loses both that can be his excuse. Then when he gets that World title shot coming up soon and bombs on that as well, he’ll just jump in front of a camera give the metal sign with both hands, yell fuck you bitches IWF and do some stupid tongue flicking motion. It’s ironic that the members of Pantheon have bashed me over the years for being old and all this other BS when they have a hanger-on like Corey Black who says 2 words in front of the camera and then runs out and gets jobbed out and manages to tag in Fly who wipes up the carnage. Corey, you disappoint me. I see you still brag about Pantheon’s greatness as well when you guys have done nothing more this time around but lose members. Face it. Pantheon is going downhill.
JJ walks on screen again and Gravedigger eyes her, waiting for another slap. She caresses his cheek and kisses it.
JJ: I’m sorry. I’ll be good now.
Gravedigger eyes her for another few seconds and then puts an arm around her before turning to the screen again.
Gravedigger: Yeah, so Jeff Purse finally cuts a promo and I’m not going to lie here. I’m creeped out by the wanna be Jeff Dunham puppet act Purse has going on. He even mixes that with a religion angle, too. So Jeff is going with the Catholic Priest puppet act. I’m not really sure how to react to this. I mean is he purposely trying to lose? Is he trying to set himself up to be made fun of so horribly? Is Jeff himself going to be the one that climbs into the ring tonight or is everyone fighting the puppet? I mean I know that the puppet in his promo is Father Terry Andrews, but is there also a Jeff Purse puppet? Is the Jeff Purse puppet up the asshole of the Father Terry Andrews puppet so that when Jeff and Andrews pop down to the ring tonight, he’ll remove the Father Terry Andrews puppet and we’ll see the Jeff Purse puppet who will be the one in the ring. Does that then mean that Jeff Purse really does fist himself since he’s up in his own ass? Does Jeff Purse use the puppet to whack himself off with the mouth of the puppets? Does that count as a handjob or a blowjob?
WCF these are very important questions that no one actually wants an answer to because it’s creepy as hell. Jeff Purse goes from War winner, embarrassing world champion, talking endlessly about beating me in a match a while back while criticizing me for bringing up the past to this trash. It’s even funnier though that I called it the other day that Purse would make jokes about me being old and our match. What does he do? He proves how predictable he is by doing it again. Here I am on camera my second time this week talking trash to everyone in the match and aside from a couple of casual mentions, I’m not going on and on like these other scum-sucking leeches about my past. Fly was right about you Purse, you really are the past now.
So how about we talk about someone who beat one of the guys I trained. Let’s talk about Chelsea. Ok, first of all, let’s put out the sad fact that half the guys talking shit to her are using the whole played out “you’re a girl so I’m going to make sandwich, kitchen and sexist remarks”. No, no. You’re watching Gravedigger. I’m not doing that predictable shit like people such as Jonny Fly stoop to. Chelsea, you started out pretty well in WCF and even stopped the months long TV title reign of John Barber. You put the eyes directly on you with a victory such as that. But then you kinda started going downhill pretty fast. S-PAC? You team with Waylon Cash and Scott Savage? Come on! I know some of you rookies catch on pretty quickly that you have to have someone watching your back to do well here in a cutthroat place like WCF, but you pick a couple of guys who are practically nobodies? You can do better than that, Chelsea! Bunch of jobbers dismantling rings, trying out for the ring crew in case they lose their wrestling contracts. Now you’re apparently teaming up with a kilt-wearing weirdo and a bunch of other people. You’re the people’s champion as well. A very long-reigning people’s champion. A belt that no one truly cares about and means nothing for a wrestler’s career here in WCF.
So let’s move on to another guy who had potential as a possible War winner. Someone who also failed to hit the mark, someone who bombed as well…Torture. What the hell kind of promo was that? Obviously Torture tried to beef up his image by having all these former WCF wrestlers everyone is familiar with pop up. Too bad it was a bunch of nobodies that no one ever really cared about. Defman, Chris Avery, Tank Reaper? I should have one upped you by calling up Outcast, Hellz Angel and Creeping Dea—oh wait. Seriously though, that entire promo sounded like a bunch of friends trying desperately to bullshit around with each other on a Sunday morning with raging hangovers. It was awful. You hear Torture talk about how great his past was and yes I realize the irony behind someone like me badmouthing someone for doing that. I’m glad you bragged about all those past events and accomplishments while trying to badmouth people like me Torture.
For all the great things you did years back and there are definitely a lot of great things you did, there is one thing you never did that I was able to do with ease. No, I’m not talking about win War. I’m talking about get into the Hall of Fame by default. I didn’t have to go on this huge campaign like you did and end up in a match with some scum-sucking leech where if I won, I’d be in the Hall of Fame. I didn’t have to convince Seth Lerch to let me in. I didn’t have to convince anyone that I deserved to be in it. I was in it naturally. Despite all the hell I caused WCF and Seth Lerch himself, I still got in with ease. That’s something you can never hold over someone like me and brag about. After tonight, you’re also not going to be able to brag about winning War either, so that’s another way you’ll never be able to compare yourself to me. Calling Jonny Fly a modern day Torture is going to be ironic when you both fail to win War tonight.
Gravedigger drinks some more water before continuing.
Gravedigger: Before I move onto anyone else I just have to make a comment about the concept of War itself. Not the event but war itself. I think it’s funny watching the promos each year for War because you always have these people who go on these philosophical tales and stories about War itself in an attempt to make themselves look relevant in this match and also attempting to make themselves look cool. You all look like chumps. I’m looking at you, John Gable.
So how about we talk about The New Confederacy? Johnny Reb and Doc Henry. Reb, I DO remember our match back in 2009 and our Trios match as well. Not sure why you acted like I don’t remember when we faced off when I already said I did. Uh anyway, I definitely still want revenge on you and your jobber partner over there Doc Henry. You’re the Jonny Fly to his Corey Black in that little partnership of yours. I will gladly revel in the moment when I bury you both in the middle of the ring. Separately? Simultaneously? It doesn’t matter because this is my match to win. Maybe you should find your fucking time machine, Reb, and go back in time to when you decided you were going to enter War and slap yourself. I’m telling you now that it was a bad idea. You don’t have that Asian kid or Chad Evans with you here now. You only have Doc Henry by your side…which means you’re screwed.
Now, I’m not going to go down the list and talk about every single one of the scum-sucking leeches that are my competition at War. I’m not going to run around random places in a city like Orbit and pretend I’m running into them when they’re clearly stand-ins. I’m not going to send fucking fruit baskets to people either making myself look like a fruit basket either. No, I’m back here on the interviewer spot where I will be featured as the number one contender to Ice’s world title. Notice I didn’t say Ice or Corey’s world title since I’ve already made it clear that Corey has no chance.
2014 is going to be the year of Gravedigger. Yeah, it’s the end of September and that’s a hell of an accomplishment for me to make claim of when I only have a couple of months to top what people like Steve Orbit and Ice Beckman have accomplished in the past few months. I’m going to be the veteran that returns after having been either absent or having had unsuccessful runs here in WCF for the past few years and win the damn War match.
The few people who have even been brave enough to talk trash to me or about me this week all think I can’t do it. My prime is supposedly behind me. It’s no longer this year or that year, but that’s all been said to me before and I’ve proven it wrong once. Tonight I’m going to prove it wrong again. I don’t care if I’ve made it very clear that I believe the competition tonight is trash, that’s not going to stop me from winning and it’s not my fault if I beat a bunch of trash competitors. That’s their fault. You all want to be considered WCF wrestlers. You all want to win War. You all want a shot at the world title. You all want to be talked about along with myself and the other legends and Hall of Famers of WCF history, yet I don’t see any of you truly wanting it. You’re all sitting back like timid little children. You’re all acting like that shy kid in class who just sits there hoping to not be called on to read the paragraph or answer the math problem on the chalkboard.
That’s not going to happen on my watch. Tonight, when “Changes” by Deftones hits the speakers and everyone in the ring collectively shits themselves out of fear, I’m bursting from the gorilla position, walking down to the ring, climbing in and calling out each one of you, eliminating each one of you until there’s no one left but me, Gravedigger.
I’m not a legend and Hall of Famer here in WCF just because of some past accomplishments. I’m not those things because years back I did awesome and they just decided to award me a spot in the Hall of Fame. No, I’m a legend and Hall of Famer here because I’m one of the best damn wrestlers this company has ever seen. That shit doesn’t go away with time. Yeah, maybe when I’m 60 or 70, I may break a hip in the match, but I’m 39 years old and far from done in this business.
I’m sore and I ache from all the battles I’ve waged over the years. Being in so many hardcore style matches in my earlier days puts an even bigger toll on me, but I’m not some scum-sucking leech like half the wrestlers in this match or even some of the supposed best guys currently in WCF who half ass their way into the War match. No, I came here to win. I’ve been training for months. I’ve been watching so much film that I am an encyclopedia of promos and matches here in WCF in just the last year plus alone.
I know what makes you scum-sucking leeches tick. I know what you’re thinking. I know what you’re about to do. I know when you’re going to do it and how you’re going to do it. I know when you realize you’ve been defeated and I have seen it in the eyes of every single one of you this week. Tonight is War. Tonight is when Gravedigger DOES make his grand comeback, Jonny Fly. Gravedigger and Mara Salvatrucha are taking over WCF once more. Once more, I will climb from the bottom of WCF to the top of the mountain and that starts with a win tonight over the entire roster. Well, the entire roster minus the World Champion who was too scared to insist he get a spot in the War match.
Gravedigger grins at the camera as the scene finally fades to black.
A man sits up on one of the pool chairs, looking around with a confused look on his face. It’s Gravedigger. Gravedigger stands up and looks around some more and even looks down at the pool for a few seconds. He turns in the direction of the camera, but doesn’t acknowledge it like he normally does, as if he doesn’t even see it. He finally speaks.
Gravedigger: What the hell is going on here? This is my parents’ old house.
It becomes immediately apparent that Gravedigger is at the site of where his twin sister died and this is the pool in front of Gravedigger. He walks over to the side of the pool area and shielding the sun from his eyes with his hand, he looks around. There’s no one in sight. Gravedigger still looks confused and finally walks across the pool area and hops up the steps of the deck area and up to the sliding glass door. He slides the door open and cautiously walks in.
It’s confirmed that this is definitely his parents’ old house as pictures on the wall can be seen of people that look like a younger version of Gravedigger and a younger version of Chester. More recent pictures can be seen in some places of them in the ring. Gravedigger walks around the house, apparently looking for someone. Everything is in perfect condition. Not a soul in the house. Gravedigger’s mom was always a stay-at-home mom after her boys were born so this is unusual.
Gravedigger walks towards the front door, opens it and walks outside. His parents’ home was always on a decently busy street. Gravedigger stops at the road and scratches his head, looking back and forth, expecting to see at least a few cars. Nothing and no one in sight. No one walking, driving, or cutting their lawn. No dogs, cats, or birds. Gravedigger reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone. He hits the button on it and unlocks it. The cell signal symbol is gone.
Gravedigger: What the hell…
Gravedigger tries calling someone anyway but to no luck. Same with texting and with accessing the Internet. He stands there completely dumbfounded when he finally hears a noise. It’s a splash, followed by more splashing. He hurries back into the house and out to the back, standing at the top of the deck. Someone is in the pool, under water. Gravedigger runs over to the steps and runs down them. He quickly takes off his boots and shirt, then dives in.
His vision is blurred as he opens his eyes underwater. He sees his twin sister on the bottom of the pool, stuck to one of the main drains. Gravedigger is panicked and confused at the same time. He immediately kicks his legs as he swims towards her in the deep end to save her despite realizing this is likely a dream. As he gets most of the way over to her, he suddenly feels something brush his leg and he turns to see his brother Chester underwater, grabbing for his leg as he swam past. Chester is on the bottom of the pool, stuck on one of the main drains as well.
Gravedigger turns with a confused look on his face back towards his sister Jenn and jumps as someone is a foot away from him flailing for him. It’s his mother in the same position as Jenn and Chester. Something catches his eye out of the corner of it and he turns to see his father on another. Then he turns and sees JJ and Brian. Panic sets in even worse. Gravedigger isn’t sure what to do. Finally, he turns and pushes past his mother and swims as fast as he can towards his sister. Just like when they were 14, he grabs at the drain and tries to free her. He pulls with all of his might, this time not as a small 14 year old, but a big, muscular 39 year old wrestler. He grits his teeth and his face becomes masked by the massive amount of bubbles that fly up from his mouth and nose as he puts his strength into pulling something that should easily pop out, but won’t. His sister’s flailing and thrashing eventually ceases like before and he looks up in horror as he has just witnessed her passing out and likely dying once more.
Gravedigger quickly turns around and to his horror, everyone else in the pool has gone limp, their eyes lifeless. More bubbles fly up from Gravedigger as he yells underwater in rage. He quickly goes to jump to the surface, but is stuck. He looks down and sees that he, too, is trapped. He pulls on the drain, confusion and panic setting in once again. The lack of oxygen shreds his lungs and he flails about, trying to think of something, anything, but then everything goes black.
Gravedigger sits straight up, gasping loudly. He looks around and even though it’s dark, red light from outside is enough for him to realize that he’s in a hotel room. He’s lying in a bed. Someone stirs beside him. The person speaks.
Feminine Voice: Baby, what’s wrong?
It’s JJ’s voice. The realization of where Gravedigger is finally hits him. He’s not in the pool, drowning along with his family and JJ. He’s in some rundown motel in Phoenix, Arizona. His fellow bikers are in the rooms around him and down the hall. He’s trying to rest the night before WCF’s War pay-per-view. He’s drenched in sweat. He throws the covers off and walks over to the sink that’s in the room and turns on the light in the mirror and turns on the water. He splashes himself with the water and pats his face and chest dry with a nearby towel. He looks in the mirror for a few seconds, still half shaking from the nightmare.
JJ: John? Are you alright?
Gravedigger turns and walks back over to the bed. He gets back under the covers and pulls JJ down, putting his arm around her and resting his head on his pillow.
Gravedigger: Yeah. It was just a nightmare. Don’t worry about it. Let’s get some sleep.
JJ leans over and Gravedigger turns his head towards her and they kiss lightly on the lips. She then rests her head on his shoulder and they both close their eyes. The scene fades out.
=====================
The scene fades into a rundown warehouse and the words “One Day Later” appears on the screen.
Ship horns can be heard off in the distance as well as seagulls giving the indication that this is taking place in a port area. A few biker thugs of MS-13 are standing around talking. Others are sitting at a table, playing some kind of card game. Adrian stands near a door that goes deeper into the warehouse and the sounds of two men yelling can be heard on the other side of the door. Another can be heard pleading.
The door to the outside of the warehouse is knocked on sharply and Adrian gestures to one of the bikers to get the door. The guy walks over casually and opens the door. He looks out and gestures for the person to enter. In walks WCF interviewer Hank Brown.
Adrian: Mr. Brown. Glad you could join us.
Hank Brown smiles at Adrian and waves.
Hank Brown: Adrian! Good to see you! Um…
Hank Brown looks around at everyone in the room, most likely looking for Gravedigger. He finally looks back at Adrian.
Hank Brown: So where’s Gravedigger? He told me to meet him here. Something about one more interview for tomorrow’s War?
Adrian: He’s busy.
Hank has a confused look on his face as he waits for Adrian to say something else.
Hank Brown: So should I com---
One of the voices from behind the door Adrian is standing in front of can suddenly be heard.
VOICE: OH GOD!! AHHHH! I know nothing! I told you I don’t know!
More screams of pain can be heard coming from behind the door. Hank Brown’s eyes grow wide and he points to the door where Adrian looks like he doesn’t even hear the voices.
Hank Brown: What is going on back there?
Adrian looks at Hank Brown curiously.
Adrian: Back where?
Hank Brown: Behind you. Behind that door.
Adrian: What do you mean?
Hank Brown: You didn’t hear that screaming and the voices?
Adrian: Nope. You hearing voices, Hank? You sure you don’t need to see a doctor?
Hank Brown: Oh come on, I know you heard that screaming.
More screams of pain are heard coming from behind the door.
Voice: MY ARM!!! AHHHH!
Another Voice: Tell me where the money is! NOW!!
Hank Brown: See those voices!
Adrian: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I hear nothing. Boys, do you hear anything?
The bikers turn to Hank and shrug, shaking their heads no. Hank is looking frustrated. The noise behind the door finally stops and after a minute the door opens. Out walks WCF wrestler Gravedigger, his knuckles and hands in general are slightly bloody. He turns to Adrian.
Gravedigger: 58th street. Blue building. In the safe.
Adrian tilts his head towards Hank, gesturing. Hank looks at Gravedigger’s hands, his eyes wide with shock. Adrian then heads into the other room, shutting the door behind him.
Hank Brown: What the hell is up with your hands? Were you responsible for the screaming back there? What the hell!
Gravedigger smirks.
Gravedigger: What screaming? I didn’t hear anything, Hank.
Gravedigger walks over to a nearby sink and washes his hands thoroughly a couple of times with hot water and lots of soap.
Hank walks over beside Gravedigger and points at his hands.
Hank Brown: What are you talking about? There was blood all over your hands!
Gravedigger dries his hands off, scoffing and turns to Hank.
Gravedigger: What are you talking about? That wasn’t blood. That was, um, ketchup, Hank. What can I say? I’m a messy eater. We were eating these awesome hamburgers from this joint down the road. You should try them.
Hank Brown: Maybe I will.
Hank Brown turns and starts walking towards the door where Gravedigger emerged. He stops as he hears the sound of several chairs scraping. He looks and sees everyone looking at him. Gravedigger lightly chuckles.
Gravedigger: Hank. Don’t let your curious side get you into trouble. There’s no burgers back there, there’s nothing for you to see back there. If you’re hungry, I’ll take you through a Wendy’s drive thru and we’ll pick you up something on our way to do the interview.
Before Hank can respond, a ringer goes off. Gravedigger reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone. He hits a button and lifts it up to his ear.
Gravedigger: Hey, boss. Yeah. Yeah I let Adrian know where it is. Wait, what? I have the pay-per-view tonight. Yes, I understand that I owe you now and you’re cashing in. Fine. I’ll head over there here soon. I’ll take Jorge and Carlos with me. Yeah, no cameras. Yeah. Later.
Gravedigger hits a button on the phone and puts it back in his pocket.
Gravedigger: Hank, no time for a burger. We gotta do this interview on the way. I’m gonna drop you off and have another errand to run before I head to the arena later.
Hank Brown sighs.
Hank Brown: Ok fine. Let’s go then.
Gravedigger turns to two of the men.
Gravedigger: Jorge, Carlos. We got an errand to run. You’re riding with me.
Two of the bikers walk with Gravedigger and Hank to the door that leads outside. They go out and walk up to a black SUV and all four men get inside. They buckle up as Gravedigger brings the SUV to life. His phone goes off again and he pulls it out of his pocket and answers it. Right before he does, he looks at the number curiously.
Gravedigger: Hello? WHAT? Yes, I’ll accept. Chester what the fuck? What did you do? Why didn’t you call Mom or Dad? Brian? Ok yeah, that was definitely going to be the wrong person to call. Fine. I’ll head over there. Just stay put. No fuck you, that was funny you asshole.
Gravedigger throws the phone down onto the console. He looks out in front of the SUV for a second and then turns to Hank.
Gravedigger: Look, I’m going to have to cancel the interview on you. That was Chester. He used his one phone call from jail to call me. He got picked up the other night for drinking and driving.
Hank Brown’s face falls and he sighs. Gravedigger reaches into his pocket and sticks a wad of cash in Hank’s hand.
Gravedigger: That’s enough to get you a cab to the arena. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up another week.
Hank Brown and Gravedigger shake hands as Hank nods. He opens his door and gets out. As soon as he shuts his door, Gravedigger pulls away and the scene fades out.
===========================
The scene fades back into the SUV again, this time with Chester seated in the back seat instead of Hank Brown. Chester looks frustrated and he leans forward a little, looking at Gravedigger.
Chester: Dude, you seriously couldn’t let me ride in the front seat?
Gravedigger shakes his head.
Gravedigger: No, you apparently are more used to the backseat here lately. I figured you were more at home there seeing as how this isn’t the first time recently you’ve been arrested.
Chester punches the back of Gravedigger’s seat, much to the chagrin of the MS-13 member sitting beside him.
Chester: Man, fuck you, John.
Gravedigger: Nope, fuck you, Chester.
Chester looks over at the biker sitting beside him and grins, nodding.
Chester: What’s up, dude?
The biker shakes his head in disappointment.
Chester: Yo, can I join your biker gang? Can I be a member of MS-13?
The biker shakes his head.
Biker: No, homes, you can’t even avoid getting put in jail for drinking and driving, you ain’t one of us.
Chester: I wasn’t serious anway, I don’t want to join your stupid club.
The biker hauls off and punches Chester. Chester punches back and before you know it, they are both wailing on each other in the backseat. The car comes to a screeching halt, horns honking around them. Gravedigger turns around.
Gravedigger: That’s enough you morons! Cut it out!
The two men stop hitting each other. Chester looks pissed off. Gravedigger turns around and starts driving down the road again. Finally, Chester breaks the silence.
Chester: So how did you pay for my bail?
Gravedigger: Mom and Dad.
Chester has a pissed off look on his face.
Chester: Shit. So they know?
Gravedigger: Yeah.
Chester: Thanks a lot, asshole. Why didn’t you just keep it quiet and get the money from Diagur or something? Your gang couldn’t lend you the money?
Gravedigger: No. Diagur’s not exactly happy with me at the moment. He wanted the nightclub or at least some of the money I made off of it. I’m kinda working off a debt for them by running some errands and participating in some…activities.
Chester: No shit? You breaking legs and moving dope or something?
The biker in the front seat looks over at Gravedigger with a “is he serious?” look. The one sitting beside Chester laughs and shakes his head.
Chester: What? What did I say? Look, I can help.
Gravedigger: No you can’t. I’m not letting you in MS-13. You’re not capable of keeping things quiet like we do. You’re going to get yourself into trouble first thing. Besides, you can’t even drive anymore.
Chester leans forward.
Chester: What the hell are you talking about?
Gravedigger: Your license is revoked.
Chester: Since when?!
Gravedigger laughs and rolls his eyes.
Gravedigger: Since Mom and Dad told me to take it away. Your car is gone, too.
Chester: What the fuck?! You can’t do that!
Gravedigger: Fuck you, I can! You gotta learn how to handle your shit better. Do that and you can get your car and license back.
Before Chester can argue anymore the vehicle pulls over into a parking spot. It’s at a local community center.
Chester: Why the hell are we stopping here?
Gravedigger: This is where you get out.
Chester: The community center? Take me back to my place. Why are we sto---oh fuck you, John.
Chester finally notices the Alcoholics Anonymous sign on one of the doors. It’s meeting today. Suddenly, Chester’s door opens and another MS-13 member is standing there. He grabs Chester and drags him kicking from the SUV. Gravedigger climbs out of the vehicle as well.
Chester: What the hell is this?!
Gravedigger: It’s for your own good, Chester. You’re attending this meeting and next week’s meeting. If I don’t get a chip from you in a few weeks with your name on it, I’ll be giving you an up close meeting with members of MS-13. You won’t be part of the gang, they’ll be meeting with you for other reasons. Juan, stay with him. Make sure he doesn’t leave. They know he’s hostile and that he’ll try to leave.
The biker nods and pounds fists with Gravedigger. Chester hurls obscenities in Gravedigger’s direction as he tries to fight the grip of Juan. Passersby both on foot and in cars slow down and look. Gravedigger sighs in frustration as he gets back in the SUV. He pulls away from the curb once traffic is clear and the scene fades out once more.
===========================
EARLIER TODAY
The scene fades in one last time to the backstage area of the US Airways Center, the site of tonight’s War PPV. The interview area has just been set up for when wrestlers are interviewed backstage before and after their matches. Gravedigger and JJ are standing there in the spot where the wrestlers and interviewers stand. Some makeup lady is trying to apply makeup to Gravedigger who keeps swatting at her, keeping her away.
Gravedigger: I said I don’t need no make up. Get off me!
The woman jumps and marches off camera. Gravedigger glances off camera at someone, nods and then turns to the camera.
Gravedigger: Ladies and gentlemen. Fans and fellow wrestlers of WCF, what you’re witnessing right now on your TV screen is a preview of tonight’s War. You’re getting a preview of what’s to come. You’re getting a FREE look at the War XIII winner…yours truly, Gravedigger.
Yes, that’s right. I’m that confident that on the morning of battle I am calling it right here and now that I will be the winner of War. The second two-time War winner in history! Logan, baby gurl, I’m coming for you and that record starting TONIGHT!
You may be asking yourself how does Gravedigger know he’s going to be the one that wins? How can he be this confident, this cocky, this arrogant? It’s simple ladies and gentlemen. You’ve heard for days on end from the competition and while it’s true that we still have half a day, you know by now if someone has waited this long to put their ugly mug on camera that they aren’t really sure of themselves. If you’ve been watching each of these scum-sucking leeches, these so-called wrestlers and their promos you’d know that the only people worth a damn are myself and Bobby Cairo.
I’m not naming that legendary son of a bitch Bobby Cairo just because we’re both legends in this business. I’m not naming him because we’re both Hall of Famers. I’m also not naming him because we once double teamed Selma Hayek either.
JJ hauls off and slaps Gravedigger across the face. Gravedigger puts a hand to his face and looks at her shocked.
Gravedigger: WHAT?! You were out of town and I HAVE NEEDS, woman!
JJ delivers another slap to the face before storming off camera.
Gravedigger: Bitches.
Gravedigger turns back to the camera.
Gravedigger: I’m naming Bobby Cairo because the rest of the competition sucks this year. When you look up at the TV screen or up at the ring from your seats in the crowd and you see Gravedigger in the middle of the ring with his hand held high and his music playing, he’s not even going to be on top of the world about this win. Who is going to brag about a win over subpar competition? Yeah, if I end up eliminating Bobby Cairo, I’ll consider that a victory and if I eliminate Jay Price, I’ll of course brag about that for obvious reasons, but what’s there to fucking brag about this year?
Let’s start at the top so I can explain to you why the competition is trash this year. When I say the top, I don’t mean with the people most likely to be actual competition in tonight’s match, no I’m talking about the WCF World Champion. Ice Beckman. But Gravedigger, he’s not in the War match. No shit, shut the fuck up and sit down. I’m starting with Ice Beckman, because I’m calling it right now that this year’s War match isn’t for the World title this year because Ice Beckman is scared. Now, before Jeff Purse pulls his hand out of his puppet’s asshole and give his usual response to comments like that, yes I know Ice doesn’t decide the matches here in WCF.
Everybody knows that the World champion has sway. Ice Beckman has no one to defend the world title against despite a match full of competition; he’s instead in the ring for the tag team titles. What is this shit? And you know that Jonny Fly is glad that he is in the tag title match, too. Yeah, he’s having to wrestle in two matches which isn’t the ideal thing for a wrestler who wants to win War, but hey when you’ve started slipping like Jonny Fly obviously has then you’re glad to have that excuse in your back pocket, right? Corey Black is also in this match. He’s made it clear before that Corey Black doesn’t give a fuck about War and here is another man glad to have the excuse that he was in two matches and that’s why he didn’t win War. Don’t think I forgot about Steve Orbit. This guy hasn’t really been slipping and I wouldn’t really call him cowardly like I implied the world champion is, but I’m talking shit about Steve Orbit for that Viagra crack in his promo the other day. Look Orbit, the only reason I would need Viagra is because your bitch ass momma never tires out. Even someone as awesome as me can’t go any longer at some point.
JJ walks back on screen from out of nowhere and slaps Gravedigger again. He glares at her as she walks off camera, rubbing his cheek. He finally looks back at the camera again.
Gravedigger: But nah, I’ll get to you guys later, let’s go back to the world champion real quick. Like Jeff Purse loved to insist, you don’t decide who is in which match, but surely someone who thinks he’s as great as you think you are would jump at the chance to enter War. Ice Beckman, you could have been the first ever World champion to walk into War the champion and walk back out still holding the belt. You could have done what NvL couldn’t do last year, but you were obviously too scared to do it. You’re too excited to have the opportunity to put Steve Orbit in the ring with his former Pantheon buddies while you sit on a stool in your corner scribbling doodles and drawing up your cute little comics. Maybe you can draw a picture of you fighting off everyone in War and emerging victorious since it won’t happen in person.
Gravedigger looks off camera and gestures for something to be given to him. He holds his hands up and catches a bottle of water. He unscrews the lid and takes a swallow of the water and then continues.
Gravedigger: So let’s go back to my earlier comments on Jonny Fly slipping. I know people are going to wonder exactly what the hell I was talking about with that comment since Fly is still winning and he’s still got gold around his waist. I said Fly’s slipping simply because of that ridiculous promo he cut the other day. What was that trash? Is that trash supposed to make everyone think you’re going to be the War winner? Is that supposed to boost everyone’s confidence that you’re going to walk out of War with the tag titles still on your shoulder and a shot at the WCF World title as well? Bitch, please.
Seriously, what was that garbage you put out the other night? We sat through what seemed like hours of interviews and talk about Jonny Fly from conception to wrestling. We hear the story of Jonny Fly’s time in some other company that no one gives a shit about. Here, why don’t you zoom in the camera a little bit and I’ll tell you the story of my time in NCW? Or how I about I talk for an hour about my start in the wrestling business?
The camera zooms in slightly. Gravedigger squints at the camera.
Gravedigger: Did you really zoom in? I was kidding. Nobody wants to hear that shit.
The camera zooms back out.
Gravedigger: Nobody gives a damn about some other company when they put down their hard-earned cash to watch us duke it out at War. All the fans give a damn about is WCF. Jonny Fly, you disappoint me. I’ve always had respect for you and had some admiration for you despite you being a member of Pantheon, but seriously, what is this shit? You want to sit here and not win War two years in a row? The hell kind of elite WCF wrestler are you?
Your second promo was EVEN BETTER. Here we get a glimpse at the very near future career of Jonny Fly: hallmark greeting card writer. Really Fly? We go from you returning to WCF after months and winning War, an amazing feat here in WCF to you writing cards to all the participants in War to put in medical-themed gift baskets. One of the best parts to me was that what you said about me in your little letter amounted to not a damn thing. You failed to pull the trigger. I do have to at least commend you for not acting predictable like the Puppet Master Purse and talking about how old I am, but come on. We’ve had our differences in the past, but that seems behind us. I was winning last time you were here.
That’s it? Fly this is War. I’ve pulled no punches with you. Yeah we’ve gotten along the last few times we were on camera together, but this is fucking War. I’m coming in there not to shake your hand, ask how you and the family are doing and possibly share a bag of hot fries with you. No, no. I’m coming into that ring, grabbing that hand that you extend for a handshake, pulling you in and propping you up on my shoulder and then dropping to the mat as your cranium impacts with it and pinning you for the three count. Then I’m going to fish out that bag of hot fries from your pocket, eat a couple because who the fuck can resist some hot fries and then I’m going to jam a couple of them up your nose and pinch your nostrils just to be an asshole. It’s funny that I’ve been criticized in the past by Fly for holding onto my past yet we sit through the Life and Times of Jonny Fly for what seemed like a fucking year the other night. Let’s move on!
Gravedigger pauses to drink some water.
Gravedigger: So yeah, let’s move on to Corey Black. Corey I’m surprised that we finally saw your face this week. To be honest, it was barely necessary. I mean we all know that Jonny Fly has been carrying that team while Corey just sits back and watches his legacy and list of accomplishments just fatten up that much more. We all know when it boils down to it that Corey Black doesn’t actually give a damn about WCF anymore. He hasn’t for years. He only puts forth the idea that he gives enough of a damn to keep Seth from axing his XIII shows…which we ironically haven’t seen in a while. Corey feels great about having two matches tonight so that when he loses both that can be his excuse. Then when he gets that World title shot coming up soon and bombs on that as well, he’ll just jump in front of a camera give the metal sign with both hands, yell fuck you bitches IWF and do some stupid tongue flicking motion. It’s ironic that the members of Pantheon have bashed me over the years for being old and all this other BS when they have a hanger-on like Corey Black who says 2 words in front of the camera and then runs out and gets jobbed out and manages to tag in Fly who wipes up the carnage. Corey, you disappoint me. I see you still brag about Pantheon’s greatness as well when you guys have done nothing more this time around but lose members. Face it. Pantheon is going downhill.
JJ walks on screen again and Gravedigger eyes her, waiting for another slap. She caresses his cheek and kisses it.
JJ: I’m sorry. I’ll be good now.
Gravedigger eyes her for another few seconds and then puts an arm around her before turning to the screen again.
Gravedigger: Yeah, so Jeff Purse finally cuts a promo and I’m not going to lie here. I’m creeped out by the wanna be Jeff Dunham puppet act Purse has going on. He even mixes that with a religion angle, too. So Jeff is going with the Catholic Priest puppet act. I’m not really sure how to react to this. I mean is he purposely trying to lose? Is he trying to set himself up to be made fun of so horribly? Is Jeff himself going to be the one that climbs into the ring tonight or is everyone fighting the puppet? I mean I know that the puppet in his promo is Father Terry Andrews, but is there also a Jeff Purse puppet? Is the Jeff Purse puppet up the asshole of the Father Terry Andrews puppet so that when Jeff and Andrews pop down to the ring tonight, he’ll remove the Father Terry Andrews puppet and we’ll see the Jeff Purse puppet who will be the one in the ring. Does that then mean that Jeff Purse really does fist himself since he’s up in his own ass? Does Jeff Purse use the puppet to whack himself off with the mouth of the puppets? Does that count as a handjob or a blowjob?
WCF these are very important questions that no one actually wants an answer to because it’s creepy as hell. Jeff Purse goes from War winner, embarrassing world champion, talking endlessly about beating me in a match a while back while criticizing me for bringing up the past to this trash. It’s even funnier though that I called it the other day that Purse would make jokes about me being old and our match. What does he do? He proves how predictable he is by doing it again. Here I am on camera my second time this week talking trash to everyone in the match and aside from a couple of casual mentions, I’m not going on and on like these other scum-sucking leeches about my past. Fly was right about you Purse, you really are the past now.
So how about we talk about someone who beat one of the guys I trained. Let’s talk about Chelsea. Ok, first of all, let’s put out the sad fact that half the guys talking shit to her are using the whole played out “you’re a girl so I’m going to make sandwich, kitchen and sexist remarks”. No, no. You’re watching Gravedigger. I’m not doing that predictable shit like people such as Jonny Fly stoop to. Chelsea, you started out pretty well in WCF and even stopped the months long TV title reign of John Barber. You put the eyes directly on you with a victory such as that. But then you kinda started going downhill pretty fast. S-PAC? You team with Waylon Cash and Scott Savage? Come on! I know some of you rookies catch on pretty quickly that you have to have someone watching your back to do well here in a cutthroat place like WCF, but you pick a couple of guys who are practically nobodies? You can do better than that, Chelsea! Bunch of jobbers dismantling rings, trying out for the ring crew in case they lose their wrestling contracts. Now you’re apparently teaming up with a kilt-wearing weirdo and a bunch of other people. You’re the people’s champion as well. A very long-reigning people’s champion. A belt that no one truly cares about and means nothing for a wrestler’s career here in WCF.
So let’s move on to another guy who had potential as a possible War winner. Someone who also failed to hit the mark, someone who bombed as well…Torture. What the hell kind of promo was that? Obviously Torture tried to beef up his image by having all these former WCF wrestlers everyone is familiar with pop up. Too bad it was a bunch of nobodies that no one ever really cared about. Defman, Chris Avery, Tank Reaper? I should have one upped you by calling up Outcast, Hellz Angel and Creeping Dea—oh wait. Seriously though, that entire promo sounded like a bunch of friends trying desperately to bullshit around with each other on a Sunday morning with raging hangovers. It was awful. You hear Torture talk about how great his past was and yes I realize the irony behind someone like me badmouthing someone for doing that. I’m glad you bragged about all those past events and accomplishments while trying to badmouth people like me Torture.
For all the great things you did years back and there are definitely a lot of great things you did, there is one thing you never did that I was able to do with ease. No, I’m not talking about win War. I’m talking about get into the Hall of Fame by default. I didn’t have to go on this huge campaign like you did and end up in a match with some scum-sucking leech where if I won, I’d be in the Hall of Fame. I didn’t have to convince Seth Lerch to let me in. I didn’t have to convince anyone that I deserved to be in it. I was in it naturally. Despite all the hell I caused WCF and Seth Lerch himself, I still got in with ease. That’s something you can never hold over someone like me and brag about. After tonight, you’re also not going to be able to brag about winning War either, so that’s another way you’ll never be able to compare yourself to me. Calling Jonny Fly a modern day Torture is going to be ironic when you both fail to win War tonight.
Gravedigger drinks some more water before continuing.
Gravedigger: Before I move onto anyone else I just have to make a comment about the concept of War itself. Not the event but war itself. I think it’s funny watching the promos each year for War because you always have these people who go on these philosophical tales and stories about War itself in an attempt to make themselves look relevant in this match and also attempting to make themselves look cool. You all look like chumps. I’m looking at you, John Gable.
So how about we talk about The New Confederacy? Johnny Reb and Doc Henry. Reb, I DO remember our match back in 2009 and our Trios match as well. Not sure why you acted like I don’t remember when we faced off when I already said I did. Uh anyway, I definitely still want revenge on you and your jobber partner over there Doc Henry. You’re the Jonny Fly to his Corey Black in that little partnership of yours. I will gladly revel in the moment when I bury you both in the middle of the ring. Separately? Simultaneously? It doesn’t matter because this is my match to win. Maybe you should find your fucking time machine, Reb, and go back in time to when you decided you were going to enter War and slap yourself. I’m telling you now that it was a bad idea. You don’t have that Asian kid or Chad Evans with you here now. You only have Doc Henry by your side…which means you’re screwed.
Now, I’m not going to go down the list and talk about every single one of the scum-sucking leeches that are my competition at War. I’m not going to run around random places in a city like Orbit and pretend I’m running into them when they’re clearly stand-ins. I’m not going to send fucking fruit baskets to people either making myself look like a fruit basket either. No, I’m back here on the interviewer spot where I will be featured as the number one contender to Ice’s world title. Notice I didn’t say Ice or Corey’s world title since I’ve already made it clear that Corey has no chance.
2014 is going to be the year of Gravedigger. Yeah, it’s the end of September and that’s a hell of an accomplishment for me to make claim of when I only have a couple of months to top what people like Steve Orbit and Ice Beckman have accomplished in the past few months. I’m going to be the veteran that returns after having been either absent or having had unsuccessful runs here in WCF for the past few years and win the damn War match.
The few people who have even been brave enough to talk trash to me or about me this week all think I can’t do it. My prime is supposedly behind me. It’s no longer this year or that year, but that’s all been said to me before and I’ve proven it wrong once. Tonight I’m going to prove it wrong again. I don’t care if I’ve made it very clear that I believe the competition tonight is trash, that’s not going to stop me from winning and it’s not my fault if I beat a bunch of trash competitors. That’s their fault. You all want to be considered WCF wrestlers. You all want to win War. You all want a shot at the world title. You all want to be talked about along with myself and the other legends and Hall of Famers of WCF history, yet I don’t see any of you truly wanting it. You’re all sitting back like timid little children. You’re all acting like that shy kid in class who just sits there hoping to not be called on to read the paragraph or answer the math problem on the chalkboard.
That’s not going to happen on my watch. Tonight, when “Changes” by Deftones hits the speakers and everyone in the ring collectively shits themselves out of fear, I’m bursting from the gorilla position, walking down to the ring, climbing in and calling out each one of you, eliminating each one of you until there’s no one left but me, Gravedigger.
I’m not a legend and Hall of Famer here in WCF just because of some past accomplishments. I’m not those things because years back I did awesome and they just decided to award me a spot in the Hall of Fame. No, I’m a legend and Hall of Famer here because I’m one of the best damn wrestlers this company has ever seen. That shit doesn’t go away with time. Yeah, maybe when I’m 60 or 70, I may break a hip in the match, but I’m 39 years old and far from done in this business.
I’m sore and I ache from all the battles I’ve waged over the years. Being in so many hardcore style matches in my earlier days puts an even bigger toll on me, but I’m not some scum-sucking leech like half the wrestlers in this match or even some of the supposed best guys currently in WCF who half ass their way into the War match. No, I came here to win. I’ve been training for months. I’ve been watching so much film that I am an encyclopedia of promos and matches here in WCF in just the last year plus alone.
I know what makes you scum-sucking leeches tick. I know what you’re thinking. I know what you’re about to do. I know when you’re going to do it and how you’re going to do it. I know when you realize you’ve been defeated and I have seen it in the eyes of every single one of you this week. Tonight is War. Tonight is when Gravedigger DOES make his grand comeback, Jonny Fly. Gravedigger and Mara Salvatrucha are taking over WCF once more. Once more, I will climb from the bottom of WCF to the top of the mountain and that starts with a win tonight over the entire roster. Well, the entire roster minus the World Champion who was too scared to insist he get a spot in the War match.
Gravedigger grins at the camera as the scene finally fades to black.
