A 1, P 5: Duty Dance with Dead Men (Advoco Requiem 1/2)
Sept 27, 2014 21:53:56 GMT -5
Bryan "Buzz" Worthy likes this
Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2014 21:53:56 GMT -5
A lot changes in a year.
This is my journal. This is to be a record of my thoughts in case anything happens where this may prove useful. I think someone is planning on killing me...maybe kill me or maybe something else but I know someone is out there tracking me. I'm not so delusional to think that I haven't made any enemies nor am I stupid enough to think I know all who would be after me. The real worry is that I may never know what is being planned by them. An intricate network behind my back exclusively tuned to my own personal suffering. I feel like I am talking crazy like I have my own personal Illuminati out to get me. Am I crazy? Am I just imagining the whole thing? Every night when the anxiety keeps me awake I try to convince myself that it has to be all in my head and if I keep worrying about it I am going to ruin my life. But I am too afraid to stop believing because then I am vulnerable to attack (as if I would be able to stop it).
Sometimes I tell myself I don't care, come what may, strike me down, just make it quick. But really I am still panicking inside. No doubt I will be covered in grey hairs in a few years or less. But for now everyone is the enemy...it is easier that way. Less to regret. I'll slowly take them all out, not sparing a soul. If they aren't the enemy then there is no enemy because they will be long gone. Callus? Maybe, but there is no room for second guessing or mercy. It's not like I would be hunting anyone who didn't deserve it. The innocent man is just a myth after all...My favorite joke from the Bible “Let ye without sin cast the first stone.” The brilliance is they didn't need to waste time stating the undeniable truth. Humanity is scum.
Now don't get me wrong; I may fear death, tragedy and failure but I refuse to fear any man! I have no reason to. Man is incompetent and delusional, even more so than myself. Man doesn't realize his power of control is on loan from the universe. But now is not the time to get philosophical. This is more of a last will and testament. I am putting all the judges on trial. I am criticizing the critics, outlawing the magistrate and overthrowing the ruling class. This soldier's march continues on into War where there are no allies. Anybody's bullet will get you kill. But the enemy wasn't on the field but I will get to that later.
A black transport truck with heading along a busted up path in the middle of the night. It was a tight, cramped space filled with twenty soldiers, give or take. Most called it the Guts Bucket because it wasn't uncommon for a truck to be ambushed and within seconds it wouldn't have one whole soldier left inside.
The troops were being moved across enemy lines in an attempt for a search and rescue mission. Even the time-tested motto was “no man left behind” sometimes you lose a few people. This time it was seven soldiers who lost contact with the rest of the army during what was suppose to be a small raid but instead ended up being a trap. No one knew if the seven were still alive but they had to at least do something to say they tried.
The soldiers looked to each other with immense displeasure. They had no investment in these men and were ready to write them off as dead. They weren't even a part of their infantry. In their minds this was risking more lives than it was worth (but we'll just rationalize that that is the nerves talking). They would give the area a quick glance and then get out as soon as possible. The driver yelled back over his shoulder.
Driver: five kilometers 'til drop off...
The soldiers didn't respond as the rumbling of the rocky road filled the truck. The darkness of the outside world was apparent to them as well as all that could be hiding in it. Most of them hated looking out into the night because sometimes they swore they saw glowing eyes. But for now they couldn't see the outside and were thankful for it.
A few minutes passed before the driver looked over his shoulder again but before he could get the first word out there was a boom then a crash. The truck veered off the path and into the ditch...the driver was dead, so it goes...
It took a moment for the soldiers in the back to regain their bearings. A few quickly jumped out the back but were instantly met with fire and dropped like flies only moments after getting off the truck. The remaining soldiers hugged the floor of the truck as bullets whizzed overhead, puncturing through the sides.
Suddenly there was a deafening silence. The soldiers waited a mere second before jumping to their feet with their rifles in hand, sure that the opposing forces were in the middle of reloading. The soldiers exited the vehicle pointing to one side or the other alternating each soldier. They tried to cover their bases and shot out into the night hoping the firing covered enough ground that it would at least hit someone. The soldiers fired blindly into the night at an unrelenting rate until they had to reload...There wasn't a sign of anyone having been hit, no groans, no shuffling, nothing. Then out of no where...
Zzzzzzzip! Splat!
A bullet struck a soldier dead, then another and another. The team dropped to the ground and finished reloading their weapons as fast as they could. They tried to figure out where the firing was coming from but there was no clear indication so they continued to fire wildly in hopes that they could at least scare off the enemy. Again there was silence. The gun fire had ceased for a good five minutes. The remaining soldiers slowly got to their feet as they all entered the ditch the Guts Bucket was lodged in, hoping that they could get it out and get out of whatever hell they had gotten themselves into but no luck. The front of the truck was smashed in and compacted metal pierced through the tire.
One of the soldiers flashed a light out into the darkness and spied a man with an assault rifle running off into the distance.
Soldier #1: I see someone!
A few of the soldiers turned their head just in time to see the man disappear down a hill.
Soldier #2: Let's get that little fucker.
The few men ran passed the ditch into the field hooting and hollering as the others looked over causing the acting captain to yell out.
Captain: No! Wait!
Boom!
A violent explosion rocked the earth. A mine had gone off and took the approaching men with it. For the third time a morbid silence conquered over the soldiers. There were only ten left...nine...eight...seven...The enemy fire had returned.
Captain: Get down!
Six...five...The ones left dropped to the dirt but this time had a good idea where the firing was coming from. It was much closer than before and coming from the other side of the road. Our heroes took cover in the ditch as the enemy moved in. They returned fire the best they could but they were running low on ammo and the rest of the cartridges were either still on the truck or on the bodies of the dead.
Through the loud barrage of gun fire, a faint clunk could be heard followed by a shout from one of the soldiers...
Soldier #3: Grenade under the truck!
Captain: Move!
The five began hurrying away from the truck but before they could get too far the grenade went off causing the engine of the truck to explode, sending shrapnel everywhere...four...three...two. The captain and the remaining soldier were badly injured. The soldier was pierced through the gut and was slowly bleeding out. The Captain's right arm had been shattered by a large piece of debris from the explosion. His left eye was swollen shut and his face was burnt considerably. The fire of the truck crackled as footsteps could be heard coming in from beyond.
Four silhouetted figures pulled out the two men from the ditch and dragged them onto the path. Three others emerged out of the darkness into the light of the fire but with his swollen eye and his position on the ground he couldn't see them. Of the men he did see, all he could make out was torn up green jackets, pants and assault rifles in hand; an M1 thompsons. To the side of him he could hear the other soldier breathing heavily with violent heaves. It would only be moments now.
?.?.?: Can you put the poor bastard out of his misery please...
One of the men adjusted their rifle for a moment then pulled the trigger, taking out the dying man.
?.?.?: I meant the other one...but that's fine. I guess he will do.
The speakers steps crunched slightly from the clusters of dirt and rocks that were scattered everywhere. The dark figure stood over the Captain and tapped his boot against the soldier's head. The soldier made his best attempt to look up and view the enemy and was shocked at who he saw...
John Gable: Hello there stranger...you and your group sent to finish me off? No bother...
...I crouched down to get a better look at the man in the faint light. I was disappointed to see that one of his eyes were indeed swollen shut. I frowned as I picked at the dirt that was mixing with the blood on the side of his face.
John Gable: God damn it. Who knows how bad the inside of that skull is. You could be mostly a scared vegetable for all I know. I was hoping to leave one of you alive to spread what I am about to tell you but I guess we will just have to head back to base and deliver it ourselves...What a pain in the ass. Anyways...I guess they weren't convinced we had bought the big farm in the sky, huh? Needed to make sure we wouldn't make it back. Well, guess what, we are still alive and kicking and we know the truth. We have been out here for weeks as they got their Generals and their Admirals together talking about this magnificent fuck up! It was suppose to be a national mourning in a different way! We were suppose to lose during an 'everyday news radio broadcast' and everyone was supposed to be really sad. Even willing to sacrifice a major city that was perfectly innocent, had to have that extra zest! The problem was that you need to return to the crime scene and make sure you can finish the job if they can't!
I stepped onto his face to turn it to the non-puffy side toward me so he could hear what I had to say properly. I am gonna hear about it off set. The prima donna he was, I imagine he was going to get his lawyers involved. I swear I face more lawyers than actors, maybe even more than wrestlers. But it didn't matter. Producers have gotten away with worse. Enough of this contrived set up. I didn't come to just act...I had a REAL War to win.
John Gable: Why not! That's warfare after all! Nothing is sacred, you are really looking out for yourself more than any of your fellows out there fighting! Out there...there are no countries, there are no patriots, there is no civility, there is no center to the universe! You drift around trying not to die. You learn very quick that there are no guarantees. But that's the obvious shit!
I stepped off his face and walked over to the other six. Receding in to the darkness as the fire was starting to shrink.
John Gable: The truth is it is somewhat satisfying. Yeah, deep in the soul there is something that enjoys climbing to the top and destroying threats. You have the possibility to make the world kneel to you and it just seems so easy to do if you suffocate your empathy. Leo Tolstoy said something about a love that is eternal, not a human love of man and wife but a love of man, the enemy and the innocent. That a man of the world forgives and understands. But there is a point where that love breaks and when it breaks, it shatters. When that last defense of empathy dies then you give up and forgive no one, not even the innocent!
I pointed the Thompson in the air and let off a few rounds.
John Gable: At one point I was just hoping for freedom, to be safe at a certain point but now I am coming after everyone! A lot changes in a year. I remember a year ago when I was sitting in a warehouse wondering what the fuck I was going to do with my life! Now...Now I don't care. I am not hoping to get out alive, I just want to bring as many people as I can down with me. That's not much to ask for...I just want the world to know I was here. Leave a crater where a world once was and claim it in the name of the Good Soldier! I am going to make sure they remember my name...Their muscles will tense up, their nostrils will flare, their mind will shut down when my name is mentioned. I have no idea if I will succeed but at least I will be remembered as the man who could! Because that is what will scare people the most, that what is established can be leveled.
The Captain was trying to sit up but I pushed him back down with the barrel of my weapon.
John Gable: I mean anything could happen but it is not just about someone taking control. It is about a nightmare coming to life! The very worse thing forming in reality. The one thing more powerful than any A-bomb is the realization that any day it could end with a flash and no one would remember. President Gable...no! Emperor Gable...no! King Gable...King...well, it won't matter when they bury me six feet deep tomorrow or years from now. It just matters that it happened! I mean just look who is on top right now! They had to beat someone who had to beat someone who had to beat someone and so on. Someone has to fall so the other can rule. So why not me? I have fought my battles and shown my will. I am just as qualified as a human being as any dumb fuck. From the bottom to the top, I will climb the mountains of bodies it takes to maintain such a civilized world we live in! Broken bones, bloody faces, and reckless abandon are nothing new to me! Just like Cheetah Fighter, just like Synn, just like Waylon, just like Buzz this weekend, I am going to gut this world and bury it! I'm not going to let these people lay claim to my work and violate my craft. I should have been on top forever ago! I have run circles around this company and it refuses to give me the real shot! War is the point where I can stop waiting and take it. I am not dependent any more on fuckers who promised me the world and never delivered, I am not going to trust b-list people on a b-list team! I am A-list! I will never stop saying it! I deserve better than best and people should be thankful I even show up!
The guy started to give me a quizzical look as I started traveling a little off-script...fuck 'em.
John Gable: I am the unnoticed number one in this company and I always seem to have to dig myself out of a clusterfuck to have my shot! I keep trudging and trudging and trudging and what do I get? Nothing! Fuck them! This time nothing is sacred. The good guys aren't going to win and I will finally have my chance at my destiny! I am nobodies soldier bitch!
Boom! One soldier, none...One has to wonder if he is turning into a monster. A slightly off perspective is the difference between you as a monster walking into a place full of innocents with a shotgun and Rowdy Roddy Piper in 'They Live' and that is all it takes to be the gap between villain and hero. I will never be able to be certain why I am but I have no choice for now but to trust in what I believe or die someone deeply misunderstood.
That is the world's favorite game. It's called 'The World May Never Know!' You have to guess which reality is real and which is false. Is their a God or is it chaos? Are there friends or just temporary allies? Do you hate or become the one that is hated? Existence is the enemy. We are just trapped is all and forced to tear each other apart for the whim of a formless, ageless, mindless figure. But since you can't beat them, you might as well join them. Damn life and let it go to the bombs, you are just here for the free coffee.
Am I terrible for thinking so? Are we all on the wrong side? Is the end inevitable? Who cares, even when the War is over there will be no peace. Who is ever out there, just know I am on to you and if I find you death will never have been so swift.
(fin)
This is my journal. This is to be a record of my thoughts in case anything happens where this may prove useful. I think someone is planning on killing me...maybe kill me or maybe something else but I know someone is out there tracking me. I'm not so delusional to think that I haven't made any enemies nor am I stupid enough to think I know all who would be after me. The real worry is that I may never know what is being planned by them. An intricate network behind my back exclusively tuned to my own personal suffering. I feel like I am talking crazy like I have my own personal Illuminati out to get me. Am I crazy? Am I just imagining the whole thing? Every night when the anxiety keeps me awake I try to convince myself that it has to be all in my head and if I keep worrying about it I am going to ruin my life. But I am too afraid to stop believing because then I am vulnerable to attack (as if I would be able to stop it).
Sometimes I tell myself I don't care, come what may, strike me down, just make it quick. But really I am still panicking inside. No doubt I will be covered in grey hairs in a few years or less. But for now everyone is the enemy...it is easier that way. Less to regret. I'll slowly take them all out, not sparing a soul. If they aren't the enemy then there is no enemy because they will be long gone. Callus? Maybe, but there is no room for second guessing or mercy. It's not like I would be hunting anyone who didn't deserve it. The innocent man is just a myth after all...My favorite joke from the Bible “Let ye without sin cast the first stone.” The brilliance is they didn't need to waste time stating the undeniable truth. Humanity is scum.
Now don't get me wrong; I may fear death, tragedy and failure but I refuse to fear any man! I have no reason to. Man is incompetent and delusional, even more so than myself. Man doesn't realize his power of control is on loan from the universe. But now is not the time to get philosophical. This is more of a last will and testament. I am putting all the judges on trial. I am criticizing the critics, outlawing the magistrate and overthrowing the ruling class. This soldier's march continues on into War where there are no allies. Anybody's bullet will get you kill. But the enemy wasn't on the field but I will get to that later.
A black transport truck with heading along a busted up path in the middle of the night. It was a tight, cramped space filled with twenty soldiers, give or take. Most called it the Guts Bucket because it wasn't uncommon for a truck to be ambushed and within seconds it wouldn't have one whole soldier left inside.
The troops were being moved across enemy lines in an attempt for a search and rescue mission. Even the time-tested motto was “no man left behind” sometimes you lose a few people. This time it was seven soldiers who lost contact with the rest of the army during what was suppose to be a small raid but instead ended up being a trap. No one knew if the seven were still alive but they had to at least do something to say they tried.
The soldiers looked to each other with immense displeasure. They had no investment in these men and were ready to write them off as dead. They weren't even a part of their infantry. In their minds this was risking more lives than it was worth (but we'll just rationalize that that is the nerves talking). They would give the area a quick glance and then get out as soon as possible. The driver yelled back over his shoulder.
Driver: five kilometers 'til drop off...
The soldiers didn't respond as the rumbling of the rocky road filled the truck. The darkness of the outside world was apparent to them as well as all that could be hiding in it. Most of them hated looking out into the night because sometimes they swore they saw glowing eyes. But for now they couldn't see the outside and were thankful for it.
A few minutes passed before the driver looked over his shoulder again but before he could get the first word out there was a boom then a crash. The truck veered off the path and into the ditch...the driver was dead, so it goes...
It took a moment for the soldiers in the back to regain their bearings. A few quickly jumped out the back but were instantly met with fire and dropped like flies only moments after getting off the truck. The remaining soldiers hugged the floor of the truck as bullets whizzed overhead, puncturing through the sides.
Suddenly there was a deafening silence. The soldiers waited a mere second before jumping to their feet with their rifles in hand, sure that the opposing forces were in the middle of reloading. The soldiers exited the vehicle pointing to one side or the other alternating each soldier. They tried to cover their bases and shot out into the night hoping the firing covered enough ground that it would at least hit someone. The soldiers fired blindly into the night at an unrelenting rate until they had to reload...There wasn't a sign of anyone having been hit, no groans, no shuffling, nothing. Then out of no where...
Zzzzzzzip! Splat!
A bullet struck a soldier dead, then another and another. The team dropped to the ground and finished reloading their weapons as fast as they could. They tried to figure out where the firing was coming from but there was no clear indication so they continued to fire wildly in hopes that they could at least scare off the enemy. Again there was silence. The gun fire had ceased for a good five minutes. The remaining soldiers slowly got to their feet as they all entered the ditch the Guts Bucket was lodged in, hoping that they could get it out and get out of whatever hell they had gotten themselves into but no luck. The front of the truck was smashed in and compacted metal pierced through the tire.
One of the soldiers flashed a light out into the darkness and spied a man with an assault rifle running off into the distance.
Soldier #1: I see someone!
A few of the soldiers turned their head just in time to see the man disappear down a hill.
Soldier #2: Let's get that little fucker.
The few men ran passed the ditch into the field hooting and hollering as the others looked over causing the acting captain to yell out.
Captain: No! Wait!
Boom!
A violent explosion rocked the earth. A mine had gone off and took the approaching men with it. For the third time a morbid silence conquered over the soldiers. There were only ten left...nine...eight...seven...The enemy fire had returned.
Captain: Get down!
Six...five...The ones left dropped to the dirt but this time had a good idea where the firing was coming from. It was much closer than before and coming from the other side of the road. Our heroes took cover in the ditch as the enemy moved in. They returned fire the best they could but they were running low on ammo and the rest of the cartridges were either still on the truck or on the bodies of the dead.
Through the loud barrage of gun fire, a faint clunk could be heard followed by a shout from one of the soldiers...
Soldier #3: Grenade under the truck!
Captain: Move!
The five began hurrying away from the truck but before they could get too far the grenade went off causing the engine of the truck to explode, sending shrapnel everywhere...four...three...two. The captain and the remaining soldier were badly injured. The soldier was pierced through the gut and was slowly bleeding out. The Captain's right arm had been shattered by a large piece of debris from the explosion. His left eye was swollen shut and his face was burnt considerably. The fire of the truck crackled as footsteps could be heard coming in from beyond.
Four silhouetted figures pulled out the two men from the ditch and dragged them onto the path. Three others emerged out of the darkness into the light of the fire but with his swollen eye and his position on the ground he couldn't see them. Of the men he did see, all he could make out was torn up green jackets, pants and assault rifles in hand; an M1 thompsons. To the side of him he could hear the other soldier breathing heavily with violent heaves. It would only be moments now.
?.?.?: Can you put the poor bastard out of his misery please...
One of the men adjusted their rifle for a moment then pulled the trigger, taking out the dying man.
?.?.?: I meant the other one...but that's fine. I guess he will do.
The speakers steps crunched slightly from the clusters of dirt and rocks that were scattered everywhere. The dark figure stood over the Captain and tapped his boot against the soldier's head. The soldier made his best attempt to look up and view the enemy and was shocked at who he saw...
John Gable: Hello there stranger...you and your group sent to finish me off? No bother...
...I crouched down to get a better look at the man in the faint light. I was disappointed to see that one of his eyes were indeed swollen shut. I frowned as I picked at the dirt that was mixing with the blood on the side of his face.
John Gable: God damn it. Who knows how bad the inside of that skull is. You could be mostly a scared vegetable for all I know. I was hoping to leave one of you alive to spread what I am about to tell you but I guess we will just have to head back to base and deliver it ourselves...What a pain in the ass. Anyways...I guess they weren't convinced we had bought the big farm in the sky, huh? Needed to make sure we wouldn't make it back. Well, guess what, we are still alive and kicking and we know the truth. We have been out here for weeks as they got their Generals and their Admirals together talking about this magnificent fuck up! It was suppose to be a national mourning in a different way! We were suppose to lose during an 'everyday news radio broadcast' and everyone was supposed to be really sad. Even willing to sacrifice a major city that was perfectly innocent, had to have that extra zest! The problem was that you need to return to the crime scene and make sure you can finish the job if they can't!
I stepped onto his face to turn it to the non-puffy side toward me so he could hear what I had to say properly. I am gonna hear about it off set. The prima donna he was, I imagine he was going to get his lawyers involved. I swear I face more lawyers than actors, maybe even more than wrestlers. But it didn't matter. Producers have gotten away with worse. Enough of this contrived set up. I didn't come to just act...I had a REAL War to win.
John Gable: Why not! That's warfare after all! Nothing is sacred, you are really looking out for yourself more than any of your fellows out there fighting! Out there...there are no countries, there are no patriots, there is no civility, there is no center to the universe! You drift around trying not to die. You learn very quick that there are no guarantees. But that's the obvious shit!
I stepped off his face and walked over to the other six. Receding in to the darkness as the fire was starting to shrink.
John Gable: The truth is it is somewhat satisfying. Yeah, deep in the soul there is something that enjoys climbing to the top and destroying threats. You have the possibility to make the world kneel to you and it just seems so easy to do if you suffocate your empathy. Leo Tolstoy said something about a love that is eternal, not a human love of man and wife but a love of man, the enemy and the innocent. That a man of the world forgives and understands. But there is a point where that love breaks and when it breaks, it shatters. When that last defense of empathy dies then you give up and forgive no one, not even the innocent!
I pointed the Thompson in the air and let off a few rounds.
John Gable: At one point I was just hoping for freedom, to be safe at a certain point but now I am coming after everyone! A lot changes in a year. I remember a year ago when I was sitting in a warehouse wondering what the fuck I was going to do with my life! Now...Now I don't care. I am not hoping to get out alive, I just want to bring as many people as I can down with me. That's not much to ask for...I just want the world to know I was here. Leave a crater where a world once was and claim it in the name of the Good Soldier! I am going to make sure they remember my name...Their muscles will tense up, their nostrils will flare, their mind will shut down when my name is mentioned. I have no idea if I will succeed but at least I will be remembered as the man who could! Because that is what will scare people the most, that what is established can be leveled.
The Captain was trying to sit up but I pushed him back down with the barrel of my weapon.
John Gable: I mean anything could happen but it is not just about someone taking control. It is about a nightmare coming to life! The very worse thing forming in reality. The one thing more powerful than any A-bomb is the realization that any day it could end with a flash and no one would remember. President Gable...no! Emperor Gable...no! King Gable...King...well, it won't matter when they bury me six feet deep tomorrow or years from now. It just matters that it happened! I mean just look who is on top right now! They had to beat someone who had to beat someone who had to beat someone and so on. Someone has to fall so the other can rule. So why not me? I have fought my battles and shown my will. I am just as qualified as a human being as any dumb fuck. From the bottom to the top, I will climb the mountains of bodies it takes to maintain such a civilized world we live in! Broken bones, bloody faces, and reckless abandon are nothing new to me! Just like Cheetah Fighter, just like Synn, just like Waylon, just like Buzz this weekend, I am going to gut this world and bury it! I'm not going to let these people lay claim to my work and violate my craft. I should have been on top forever ago! I have run circles around this company and it refuses to give me the real shot! War is the point where I can stop waiting and take it. I am not dependent any more on fuckers who promised me the world and never delivered, I am not going to trust b-list people on a b-list team! I am A-list! I will never stop saying it! I deserve better than best and people should be thankful I even show up!
The guy started to give me a quizzical look as I started traveling a little off-script...fuck 'em.
John Gable: I am the unnoticed number one in this company and I always seem to have to dig myself out of a clusterfuck to have my shot! I keep trudging and trudging and trudging and what do I get? Nothing! Fuck them! This time nothing is sacred. The good guys aren't going to win and I will finally have my chance at my destiny! I am nobodies soldier bitch!
Boom! One soldier, none...One has to wonder if he is turning into a monster. A slightly off perspective is the difference between you as a monster walking into a place full of innocents with a shotgun and Rowdy Roddy Piper in 'They Live' and that is all it takes to be the gap between villain and hero. I will never be able to be certain why I am but I have no choice for now but to trust in what I believe or die someone deeply misunderstood.
That is the world's favorite game. It's called 'The World May Never Know!' You have to guess which reality is real and which is false. Is their a God or is it chaos? Are there friends or just temporary allies? Do you hate or become the one that is hated? Existence is the enemy. We are just trapped is all and forced to tear each other apart for the whim of a formless, ageless, mindless figure. But since you can't beat them, you might as well join them. Damn life and let it go to the bombs, you are just here for the free coffee.
Am I terrible for thinking so? Are we all on the wrong side? Is the end inevitable? Who cares, even when the War is over there will be no peace. Who is ever out there, just know I am on to you and if I find you death will never have been so swift.
(fin)
