Post by Jayson Price on Jun 13, 2014 15:52:05 GMT -5
June 13th, 2014
Bangkok, Thailand
2PM
As the scene slowly fades in we find Jayson Price and Cameraman Stu sitting at a table outside of a small bar somewhere in downtown Bangkok. Price is busy scrolling through his phone in between sips from his drink as Stu builds a swizzle stick cabin. Suddenly the sounds of 2 Live Crew's "Me So Horny" erupt from Stu's pants pocket. He digs around and pulls out his phone as Price gives him a questioning look.
Jayson Price: "Really?"
Cameraman Stu: "Fuck you, it's a good jam."
Stu checks his phone and groans as he tucks it back away.
Jayson Price: "What, you're not going to answer that?"
Cameraman Stu: "It's just the wife wanting me to check in. You know how she gets when I go out of the country for shows. Especially when I'm around you."
Jayson Price: "She still giving you shit for that Mexico trip?"
Cameraman Stu: "The Mexico trip, the Japan trip, the Germany trip, the Canada trip..."
Jayson Price: "Hey! What happened that night in Canada wasn't my fault."
Cameraman Stu: "That poor girl is probably still picking moose hair out of her..."
Jayson Price: "Whoa! No. We don't talk about that night on camera. Ever. We've discussed this damn it."
Cameraman Stu: "Fine. But you get the point, she's not fond of you at all."
Jayson Price: "Well that's probably because she's a dyke. But that doesn't explain why you're not answering her call. You two having some problems?"
Cameraman Stu: "No. Yes. Well maybe, I don't know. I mean, I guess it all started..."
Jayson Price: "Let me go ahead and stop you right there. I don't really give a fuck. I was trying to be nice, show a little compassion but honestly, I could care less if you two are happy or not."
Cameraman Stu: "Well thanks for the support."
Stu picks up his water and takes a sip as Price sets down his phone.
Jayson Price: "You know what your problem is?"
Cameraman Stu: "That Seth Lerch is too cheap to hire a second cameraman?"
Jayson Price: "No. That your sitting at a table in Bangkok bitching about your problems with your marriage while you sip on water. Come on Stu, act like you're on a vacation. Live a little. Have a fucking drink and quit your moping. Besides, the old broad is thousands of miles away probably diddling herself with a Sharpie."
Cameraman Stu: "A Sharpie?"
Jayson Price: "Well I was going to go with something bigger but then I figured after all those years married to you a Sharpie would stretch her out plenty."
Cameraman Stu: "..."
Jayson Price: "But back to my point, you need to man the fuck up and quit with this bitching. For fucks sake, a few years back a guy killed my unborn child on live television and you didn't hear me crying about it the next day. Now let's get a real fucking drink in you and go pick up some strange."
Price signals for the waitress to bring them some drinks as Stu's phone again begins to ring. Stu starts to reach for it when Price grabs his water glass and throws it in his face.
Jayson Price: "No. Bad Stu. Leave that phone ring and have a fucking drink with me."
The waitress arrives with a pair of shot glasses and a white bottle with a picture of a cartoon frog on it. She sets them down in the center of the table and walks off as Price grabs the bottle and begins pouring.
Cameraman Stu: "What the fuck is that?"
Jayson Price: "I don't know and I don't care. As long as it does the intended job."
Cameraman Stu: "Get us drunk?"
Jayson Price: "Make you less annoying."
Price slides Stu a shot of the dark brown mystery booze and then downs his own, grimacing for a second at it's taste. Stu hesitates and then throws his back before coughing loudly as he clutches his throat.
Jayson Price: "Hot damn! Now that's what I call a drink."
Price quickly fills up his shot glass a second time as Stu falls out of his chair still coughing. The scene fades out to black as Price raises his glass and then throws it back.
A Short While Later
The scene fades back in as we still find Jayson Price and Cameraman Stu seated outside of the small bar. Price is in the middle of throwing back yet another shot as Stu is face down on the table with his glass on it's side and the sticky, dark brown mystery alcohol running into his hair. Price reaches over and slaps Stu on the back of the head.
Jayson Price: "God damn it Stu, wake up. You're making me look bad."
With a groan, Stu lifts his head up off the table and rubs his eyes.
Cameraman Stu: "Ugh. How long have I been out?"
Jayson Price: "5 minutes."
Cameraman Stu: "Wait, what?"
Jayson Price: "Yeah. You had two shots, screamed out 'I love Bobby Cairo' and then you passed out. It really was quite embarrassing."
Cameraman Stu: "I don't understand, normally I can handle my liquor. I can't remember the last time I passed out."
Jayson Price: "I was talking about the Bobby Cairo crap. What's with the closet homosexual feelings for him?"
Cameraman Stu: "Uh, I don't know what you're talking about. It must have been the booze messing with my mind."
Jayson Price: "Sure, blame the alcohol. I suppose it too put a picture of him as your wallpaper on your phone."
Price holds up Stu's phone to show a shirtless picture of Bobby Cairo as the wallpaper. A flustered Stu snatches the phone from Price and puts it away.
Cameraman Stu: "I'm just a fan is all. Shut up."
Price snickers as he pours them both another shot and then throws his back. Stu looks at his questioningly.
Cameraman Stu: "Yeah, I think I should sit..."
Jayson Price: "Shut the fuck up and do the shot."
Stu does his and cringes before coughing. Price shakes his head in disgust as he signals for the waitress. As he waits, a scantily dressed Asian woman spots the two Americans and saunters over to them.
Woman: "Hey boys. You want good time?"
Price gives the woman a quick once over with his eyes and spots the Adam's apple and crotch bulge.
Jayson Price: "You know what, my friend here was just saying that he was hoping to have some fun tonight."
Cameraman Stu: "Now hold on just one..."
Jayson Price: "Shut up Stu. We both know you need this."
"Woman": "So what you say boys. You want good time? Me give you real good time."
Jayson Price: "You hear that Stu? She wants to give you a real good time. How much for a good time for my friend?"
"Woman": "For him? Two hundred dollar."
Jayson Price: "Two hundred dollar? What happened to fifteen dollar?"
"Woman": "What you think? This 1987?"
Jayson Price: "God damn inflation. Well what does two hundred dollar get my friend?"
"Woman": "Oh it get him everyting."
Jayson Price: "Everyting you say? All right. Stu, where's your wallet?"
Price looks over to Stu to find him again passed out face first on the table. Price shakes his head and then his face lights up as he has an idea. Quickly he reaches for his own wallet and pulls a pair of hundreds out.
Jayson Price: "Here, make sure you give him your best."
"Woman": "Oh I give him all I have."
Jayson Price: "I'm sure you will."
The ladyboy tucks the two bills into it's pants and then helps the groggy Stu to his feet. As they walk off together, Price pours himself another drink and chuckles.
Jayson Price: "You know, I don't know why, but watching that Asian tranny hooker lead my drunk friend away to get an ass pounding and a petri dish of STD's, I can't help think about tonight's match at XIII."
The waitress arrives with a second bottle of alcohol and Price looks up at her.
Jayson Price: "You want to know why?"
The waitress gives him a questioning look and says something in her language.
Jayson Price: "Because we're facing a sad drunk, a tranny, an STD magnet and...well I don't have funny remarks about Odin and Micayle but they aren't Pantheon so who really gives a fuck about them? Cheers!"
Price throws back a shot as the scene cuts to black.
Bangkok, Thailand
2PM
As the scene slowly fades in we find Jayson Price and Cameraman Stu sitting at a table outside of a small bar somewhere in downtown Bangkok. Price is busy scrolling through his phone in between sips from his drink as Stu builds a swizzle stick cabin. Suddenly the sounds of 2 Live Crew's "Me So Horny" erupt from Stu's pants pocket. He digs around and pulls out his phone as Price gives him a questioning look.
Jayson Price: "Really?"
Cameraman Stu: "Fuck you, it's a good jam."
Stu checks his phone and groans as he tucks it back away.
Jayson Price: "What, you're not going to answer that?"
Cameraman Stu: "It's just the wife wanting me to check in. You know how she gets when I go out of the country for shows. Especially when I'm around you."
Jayson Price: "She still giving you shit for that Mexico trip?"
Cameraman Stu: "The Mexico trip, the Japan trip, the Germany trip, the Canada trip..."
Jayson Price: "Hey! What happened that night in Canada wasn't my fault."
Cameraman Stu: "That poor girl is probably still picking moose hair out of her..."
Jayson Price: "Whoa! No. We don't talk about that night on camera. Ever. We've discussed this damn it."
Cameraman Stu: "Fine. But you get the point, she's not fond of you at all."
Jayson Price: "Well that's probably because she's a dyke. But that doesn't explain why you're not answering her call. You two having some problems?"
Cameraman Stu: "No. Yes. Well maybe, I don't know. I mean, I guess it all started..."
Jayson Price: "Let me go ahead and stop you right there. I don't really give a fuck. I was trying to be nice, show a little compassion but honestly, I could care less if you two are happy or not."
Cameraman Stu: "Well thanks for the support."
Stu picks up his water and takes a sip as Price sets down his phone.
Jayson Price: "You know what your problem is?"
Cameraman Stu: "That Seth Lerch is too cheap to hire a second cameraman?"
Jayson Price: "No. That your sitting at a table in Bangkok bitching about your problems with your marriage while you sip on water. Come on Stu, act like you're on a vacation. Live a little. Have a fucking drink and quit your moping. Besides, the old broad is thousands of miles away probably diddling herself with a Sharpie."
Cameraman Stu: "A Sharpie?"
Jayson Price: "Well I was going to go with something bigger but then I figured after all those years married to you a Sharpie would stretch her out plenty."
Cameraman Stu: "..."
Jayson Price: "But back to my point, you need to man the fuck up and quit with this bitching. For fucks sake, a few years back a guy killed my unborn child on live television and you didn't hear me crying about it the next day. Now let's get a real fucking drink in you and go pick up some strange."
Price signals for the waitress to bring them some drinks as Stu's phone again begins to ring. Stu starts to reach for it when Price grabs his water glass and throws it in his face.
Jayson Price: "No. Bad Stu. Leave that phone ring and have a fucking drink with me."
The waitress arrives with a pair of shot glasses and a white bottle with a picture of a cartoon frog on it. She sets them down in the center of the table and walks off as Price grabs the bottle and begins pouring.
Cameraman Stu: "What the fuck is that?"
Jayson Price: "I don't know and I don't care. As long as it does the intended job."
Cameraman Stu: "Get us drunk?"
Jayson Price: "Make you less annoying."
Price slides Stu a shot of the dark brown mystery booze and then downs his own, grimacing for a second at it's taste. Stu hesitates and then throws his back before coughing loudly as he clutches his throat.
Jayson Price: "Hot damn! Now that's what I call a drink."
Price quickly fills up his shot glass a second time as Stu falls out of his chair still coughing. The scene fades out to black as Price raises his glass and then throws it back.
A Short While Later
The scene fades back in as we still find Jayson Price and Cameraman Stu seated outside of the small bar. Price is in the middle of throwing back yet another shot as Stu is face down on the table with his glass on it's side and the sticky, dark brown mystery alcohol running into his hair. Price reaches over and slaps Stu on the back of the head.
Jayson Price: "God damn it Stu, wake up. You're making me look bad."
With a groan, Stu lifts his head up off the table and rubs his eyes.
Cameraman Stu: "Ugh. How long have I been out?"
Jayson Price: "5 minutes."
Cameraman Stu: "Wait, what?"
Jayson Price: "Yeah. You had two shots, screamed out 'I love Bobby Cairo' and then you passed out. It really was quite embarrassing."
Cameraman Stu: "I don't understand, normally I can handle my liquor. I can't remember the last time I passed out."
Jayson Price: "I was talking about the Bobby Cairo crap. What's with the closet homosexual feelings for him?"
Cameraman Stu: "Uh, I don't know what you're talking about. It must have been the booze messing with my mind."
Jayson Price: "Sure, blame the alcohol. I suppose it too put a picture of him as your wallpaper on your phone."
Price holds up Stu's phone to show a shirtless picture of Bobby Cairo as the wallpaper. A flustered Stu snatches the phone from Price and puts it away.
Cameraman Stu: "I'm just a fan is all. Shut up."
Price snickers as he pours them both another shot and then throws his back. Stu looks at his questioningly.
Cameraman Stu: "Yeah, I think I should sit..."
Jayson Price: "Shut the fuck up and do the shot."
Stu does his and cringes before coughing. Price shakes his head in disgust as he signals for the waitress. As he waits, a scantily dressed Asian woman spots the two Americans and saunters over to them.
Woman: "Hey boys. You want good time?"
Price gives the woman a quick once over with his eyes and spots the Adam's apple and crotch bulge.
Jayson Price: "You know what, my friend here was just saying that he was hoping to have some fun tonight."
Cameraman Stu: "Now hold on just one..."
Jayson Price: "Shut up Stu. We both know you need this."
"Woman": "So what you say boys. You want good time? Me give you real good time."
Jayson Price: "You hear that Stu? She wants to give you a real good time. How much for a good time for my friend?"
"Woman": "For him? Two hundred dollar."
Jayson Price: "Two hundred dollar? What happened to fifteen dollar?"
"Woman": "What you think? This 1987?"
Jayson Price: "God damn inflation. Well what does two hundred dollar get my friend?"
"Woman": "Oh it get him everyting."
Jayson Price: "Everyting you say? All right. Stu, where's your wallet?"
Price looks over to Stu to find him again passed out face first on the table. Price shakes his head and then his face lights up as he has an idea. Quickly he reaches for his own wallet and pulls a pair of hundreds out.
Jayson Price: "Here, make sure you give him your best."
"Woman": "Oh I give him all I have."
Jayson Price: "I'm sure you will."
The ladyboy tucks the two bills into it's pants and then helps the groggy Stu to his feet. As they walk off together, Price pours himself another drink and chuckles.
Jayson Price: "You know, I don't know why, but watching that Asian tranny hooker lead my drunk friend away to get an ass pounding and a petri dish of STD's, I can't help think about tonight's match at XIII."
The waitress arrives with a second bottle of alcohol and Price looks up at her.
Jayson Price: "You want to know why?"
The waitress gives him a questioning look and says something in her language.
Jayson Price: "Because we're facing a sad drunk, a tranny, an STD magnet and...well I don't have funny remarks about Odin and Micayle but they aren't Pantheon so who really gives a fuck about them? Cheers!"
Price throws back a shot as the scene cuts to black.
