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Post by Jonny Fly on May 27, 2014 0:18:26 GMT -5
WCF.com has learned from sources that are speculating that they've been told by an unnamed individual that it's possible that a wrestler that could be named Jonny Fly sprained their right index finger during the Main Event of Asesinato de Mayo after-party while eating pudding and banging hookers.
Fly is expected to miss to one week to one month, depending on the severity of the injury and how long rehabilitation will take. He is not scheduled to attend Sunday Night Slam on June 1st. Fly could not be reached for comment because he was busy tending to his horrific injury.
No further details are known, speculated, or otherwise transcribed.
WCF.COM
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Post by Jonny Fly on May 27, 2014 0:40:22 GMT -5
It had been 20 minutes since news broke that a man that could be Jonny Fly could have a sprained finger, and the wrestling world is still in shock. This would be the very first injury of Fly's career and it's left many questions to be answered. How bad is the injury? What is the time period for recovery? Will he ever be the same wrestler? How do you sprain a finger banging hookers? To help answer that last piece of the puzzle, we were able to get in touch with Jeff Purse, serving as the unofficial Pantheon spokesperson in Fly's absence: "Purse: I don't know what happened. I wasn't there. Kari and I snuck off back to my locker room for some alone time." In response, one unnamed Pantheon member issued the following statement. "  : Jeff is way out of line. He's always sort of been a moral compass for the group. But where was he when the group needed him the most? Nowhere to be found. This injury is his fault. I don't know how he sleeps at night." At this point we've still not heard from Fly directly. However, we can confirm with some reasonable doubt that renowned surgeon Dr. James Andrews just booked a flight on Expedia to New York City where he will meet with Fly to discuss his options. |
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2014 1:24:37 GMT -5
@governorthickness
@thejonnyfly Sir, we have been friends and we have been enemies, but I think I speak for the entire WCF Universe when I wish you a full and speedy recovery. Fingering sluts, well it can be dangerous business. I know this all too well. May The Godfather bless you in your recovery... you know, before that whole dropping you on your head at XIII business.
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Post by Jonny Fly on May 27, 2014 15:12:52 GMT -5
An official speaking officially on the condition of anonymity spoke with WCF.com to provide an update with new news about Jonny Fly's finger bruise. Said this mythical man:
"Fly is in a lot of pain. He's really wanted to tweet a response to Bobby Cairo all day, but he can't, because he has to sell this injury. Privately, he's been telling friends and Jayson Price that he's expecting to miss the next month of competition to allow his finger to fully heal."
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Post by Doc Henry on May 27, 2014 18:55:46 GMT -5
@southernrogue
I once tried wrestling a six month stretch with sprained testicles from too much sex, but I should have taken time off to heal, my thoughts are with Fly for a speedy recovery... #Sarcasm #Panty-OnPansy
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Post by Peter Quinn on May 27, 2014 20:13:14 GMT -5
@frankthetank180
"I echo that sentiment...who the fuck sprains a finger banging hookers? Must have been some epic fingerbanging going on."
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Post by Jayson Price on May 27, 2014 20:17:47 GMT -5
@jaysonallenprice
Hold up. First you two make off with the trophy before I get a chance to touch it, now I find out you guys partied without me? Christ, one time I piss in your cereal when you aren't looking and suddenly I'm the bad guy.
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Post by Steve Orbit on May 27, 2014 21:07:18 GMT -5
@oaklandmac
toughest part is that finger is gonna be a target for opponents for years to come. better make sure it's 100 percent before u come back. seen too many careers end too early
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: Jeff is way out of line. He's always sort of been a moral compass for the group. But where was he when the group needed him the most? Nowhere to be found. This injury is his fault. I don't know how he sleeps at night."
