Post by Logan on Mar 2, 2014 15:14:40 GMT -5
A complete disaster. One broken promise after the next. A freak out away from psychotic. Logan's mind had become his own worst enemy, suffocating him in a state of constant worry and overwhelming shock. What the fuck happened?
Logan: I feel like the timing is off.
Roy: Take a deep breath.
Logan: Okay.
The pressure weighed him down, he pushed out a forced sigh to prolong his lungs from exploding.
Roy: You can do this.
And another deep breath flowed from the lungs of Logan.
Roy: And... shoot.
He flicked the M&M through the air, Roy closed one eye and nervously observed the candy through the other. The yellow coated chocolate spiraled down straight into precisely the target Logan was aiming for; a woman's butthole.
Roy: SCORE!
Logan: I did it!
The presumably hired escort - who would do this for free? - felt the candy tickle her most delicate parts when it hit and bounced off her rosebud. She retracted her finger tips from her parted rear and sat up on the floor smiling at Logan and Roy, Father and Son.
Hooker: Wow.
Logan: Wow is right, babygurl.
Roy: Damn right.
Hooker: This is probably the most fun someone has ever paid me to do.
Roy: No one has ever paid you to throw candy in your rectum before?
She thought for a moment, biting the tip of her finger. Before a thought could properly develop and form at her mouth, the door of the room burst open to interrupt anyone and everyone. Boudlebot, dressed to the teeth in his camouflage slash Rambo type outfit, stood in the opened doorway. If he had a facial expression one could imagine it'd be smug.
Boudlebot: Why aren't you guys dressed?
Roy and Logan looked at each other to share the same confusion.
Boudlebot: Paintballing today, boudles. C'mon, let's go -
His robotic words were cut short once he caught glimpse of the half naked woman sitting on the floor surrounded by M&M's.
Boudlebot: You did THIS without ME? And with M&M's?! WHY NOT HOTDOGS?
Logan: Eh.. well..
Boudlebot: WHY. NOT.
Logan: People keep saying it's old, you know. All this boudle and hotdog stuff. Maybe it's getting tiring? So I thought instead of throwing hotdog's in someone's bum maybe we could try M&M's.
Boudlebot: WHO CARES. IT'S HOTDOGS.
Roy: Why are you yelling?
Boudlebot: BECAUSE. HOTDOGS.
The B-Bot left the room, haunted by disappointment, and the television faded to cut to Boudlebot, Roy Speede, and Logan camo'd out and wielding paintball guns.
Roy: So what's the mission?
Logan: Yeah, Boudlebot. What's the deal? Are we rescuing some hot chick in distress?
Boudlebot: No. Ladies and gentlemen... this is revenge.
Roy: Which one of us did you just call a lady?
Boudlebot: We're storming Oblivion's house and covering the walls with paint.
Logan: Does this guy even have a house? He probably lives in a trashcan.
Father/Son highfived.
Logan: And besides, shouldn't we focus this towards Lupus and Jayden?
Boudlebot: Who?
Roy: The guys he's facing this week.
Logan: Yeah I should start taking things more seriously.
Boudlebot: Since when?!
Logan: Since now!
The Boudlebot acted out a yawn, since he could not physically yawn, if he's acting one out maybe that's considered an actual yawn, or is it?
Logan: So, Jayden Thunder and Lupus Onyx. You'd THINK I'd win this match with no problem. You'd think. But I tell you what... since I've been losing every match I've been in the last month, who knows, maybe I can pick up another loss here as well.
Roy: It's possible.
Logan: Highly possible, Roy. Matter of fact I'm going into this match with the mindset that I will lose, so that if I do lose - it won't feel so disappointing. And in a way... that kind of makes me a winner.
Father/Son highfived.
Roy: With this philosophy you're untouchable. Undefeatable. I like it.
Logan: Right. And, you know, I'll be the first to admit that I don't really give a shit. I'm here for the money and that occasional 'WCF high' I still get from time to time. It's not an excuse. I've already done it all, things that still to this day are unmatched. Will I change my ways in the future? Become passionate? Promise another World Championship win and actually go through with that promise? Maybe. But right now? Give me my fuckin' paycheck. Mans got to eat.
Cameras faded.
MAYDAY
Logan: I feel like the timing is off.
Roy: Take a deep breath.
Logan: Okay.
The pressure weighed him down, he pushed out a forced sigh to prolong his lungs from exploding.
Roy: You can do this.
And another deep breath flowed from the lungs of Logan.
Roy: And... shoot.
He flicked the M&M through the air, Roy closed one eye and nervously observed the candy through the other. The yellow coated chocolate spiraled down straight into precisely the target Logan was aiming for; a woman's butthole.
Roy: SCORE!
Logan: I did it!
The presumably hired escort - who would do this for free? - felt the candy tickle her most delicate parts when it hit and bounced off her rosebud. She retracted her finger tips from her parted rear and sat up on the floor smiling at Logan and Roy, Father and Son.
Hooker: Wow.
Logan: Wow is right, babygurl.
Roy: Damn right.
Hooker: This is probably the most fun someone has ever paid me to do.
Roy: No one has ever paid you to throw candy in your rectum before?
She thought for a moment, biting the tip of her finger. Before a thought could properly develop and form at her mouth, the door of the room burst open to interrupt anyone and everyone. Boudlebot, dressed to the teeth in his camouflage slash Rambo type outfit, stood in the opened doorway. If he had a facial expression one could imagine it'd be smug.
Boudlebot: Why aren't you guys dressed?
Roy and Logan looked at each other to share the same confusion.
Boudlebot: Paintballing today, boudles. C'mon, let's go -
His robotic words were cut short once he caught glimpse of the half naked woman sitting on the floor surrounded by M&M's.
Boudlebot: You did THIS without ME? And with M&M's?! WHY NOT HOTDOGS?
Logan: Eh.. well..
Boudlebot: WHY. NOT.
Logan: People keep saying it's old, you know. All this boudle and hotdog stuff. Maybe it's getting tiring? So I thought instead of throwing hotdog's in someone's bum maybe we could try M&M's.
Boudlebot: WHO CARES. IT'S HOTDOGS.
Roy: Why are you yelling?
Boudlebot: BECAUSE. HOTDOGS.
The B-Bot left the room, haunted by disappointment, and the television faded to cut to Boudlebot, Roy Speede, and Logan camo'd out and wielding paintball guns.
Roy: So what's the mission?
Logan: Yeah, Boudlebot. What's the deal? Are we rescuing some hot chick in distress?
Boudlebot: No. Ladies and gentlemen... this is revenge.
Roy: Which one of us did you just call a lady?
Boudlebot: We're storming Oblivion's house and covering the walls with paint.
Logan: Does this guy even have a house? He probably lives in a trashcan.
Father/Son highfived.
Logan: And besides, shouldn't we focus this towards Lupus and Jayden?
Boudlebot: Who?
Roy: The guys he's facing this week.
Logan: Yeah I should start taking things more seriously.
Boudlebot: Since when?!
Logan: Since now!
The Boudlebot acted out a yawn, since he could not physically yawn, if he's acting one out maybe that's considered an actual yawn, or is it?
Logan: So, Jayden Thunder and Lupus Onyx. You'd THINK I'd win this match with no problem. You'd think. But I tell you what... since I've been losing every match I've been in the last month, who knows, maybe I can pick up another loss here as well.
Roy: It's possible.
Logan: Highly possible, Roy. Matter of fact I'm going into this match with the mindset that I will lose, so that if I do lose - it won't feel so disappointing. And in a way... that kind of makes me a winner.
Father/Son highfived.
Roy: With this philosophy you're untouchable. Undefeatable. I like it.
Logan: Right. And, you know, I'll be the first to admit that I don't really give a shit. I'm here for the money and that occasional 'WCF high' I still get from time to time. It's not an excuse. I've already done it all, things that still to this day are unmatched. Will I change my ways in the future? Become passionate? Promise another World Championship win and actually go through with that promise? Maybe. But right now? Give me my fuckin' paycheck. Mans got to eat.
Cameras faded.
