Post by Jonny Fly on Feb 22, 2014 17:20:43 GMT -5
We begin with this…
Fly: IT’S A GODDAMN SEAGULL PRICE. A FUCKIN’ SEAGULL.
Price: But it looks so much like Wayne Newton.
Fly: That’s why I named him Wayne Newgull.
Price: I’m way better at naming seagulls than you.
Fly: IT’S NOT A COMPETITION PRICE!
Our scene begins at Jonny Fly’s Mansion in New York City, codenamed the Pantheon East Coast Headquarters. We are in the Pantheon conference room/serious business place just off the entrance hallway of the mansion. Inside the room we see the Pantheon gold ‘Dynasty, Future, Elements’ triangle emblazed on the carpeting underneath the long, rectangular conference table. At that table sits Jonny Fly, Corey Black, Jayson Price, and Steve Orbit.
The table – OH THE TABLE – it’s also engraved with the Pantheon logo, and sitting in the middle of the triangle is a projector pointed at a retractable projection screen that is lowered from the ceiling. Jonny Fly sits at the head of the table looking directly to his left where Jayson Price is casually reclined in his chair, feet up on the table, and looking as nonchalant as ever. Also, Fly has a seagull on his shoulder. Wayne Newgull. He’s new because the original seagull, Steven Seagull, is dead. You all remember Steven Seagull, right? Anyway, Price is to Fly’s left, Steve Orbit is to Fly’s right, and Corey Black is all the way at the other end of the table by himself because he’s been mean to everyone. Just kidding, Black isn’t here yet. That’s the only reason the seagull hasn’t lost his head, I’m sure.
Fly: So, where is Black?
Orbit: He told me he was writin’ up Jordan Caliban’s obituary and then he’d head over.
Nods all around the room.
Fly: So let’s talk guys. I’m glad the three of us could find some time to get together before the match. I thought about it a lot over the past few days, and I’ve decided that I’m just going to have fun with this match. It’s really something, isn’t it? Six top wrestlers all competing for one title. It’s like Ultimate Showdown without the consolation prizes or War without the fluff. I think anyone can with this thing. I mean that too. Even if I go in that ring and have the performance of my life, there’s no telling what’s going to happen. Therefore, my goal is not to retain the WCF World Title…
Price and Orbit’s eyes grow wide.
Price: Uh, say that again?
Fly: My goal is to keep that belt in Pantheon. Period. Like I said last week, if that means I end up losing, there won’t be any hard feelings from me. Both of you would deserve the belt, and you’d represent it well.
Black: Well, maybe not Price, but yeah…
Yep. Corey Black has arrived. All three men turn to look at him in the doorway to the conference room.
Black: What the hell is on your shoulder, Fly?
Fly: It’s a seagull!
Black: It looks like Wayne Newton, and you know what we do to Wayne Newton, right?
Black magically pulls out a machete that’s been tucked behind his shirt to emphasize his point. Upon seeing the machete, Jay Price quickly gets up from his seat and holds his hands in the air.
Price: Hey man! No machetes in here! You take that shit outside.
Corey Black looks sad. He’s sort of cute when he’s sad.
Black: But…
Orbit: Come on Black. You know that machete shit is getting old. You stirrin’ up some bad feelings over here.
Orbit nods in the direction of Price.
Black: *sigh*
Black turns and tosses his machete out into the hallway. He closes the door behind him sealing off the Pantheon conference room from the destruction of his machete. Relieved, Jayson Price retakes his seat. Black walks over to the table and takes a seat next to him.
Black: So, what’s the agenda?
Fly: We were just talking about the match on Sunday.
Black: Right. Pantheon power, engaged.
Fly: I was just telling Price and Orbit that for me, this match isn’t about retaining. They are both equally capable of leaving this match as the WCF World Champion…and I understand that. I know that I need to play the numbers game. We have a better chance of keeping that belt within Pantheon by going three on three rather than me trying to go one on five or either of them trying to go one on five.
As Fly talks, Black nods his head in agreement.
Black: I agree. Could you imagine if Oblivion, Cash, or…FUCKING LOGAN became World Champion? Ugh.
There’s a collective shudder from around the room.
Fly: On a happier note, guess what time it is?
Price: What?
Fly smiles and grabs a remote off of the conference table and turns on the projector.
Black: It’s about damn time, that’s what it is.
Orbit: Yo, what’s goin’ on here?
Fly: It’s a Pantheon meeting tradition. I’m going to show an image on the projector and you guys have to tell me the first thing that pops into your head. It’s a team building exercise. The goal is to have us all say the same thing and be on the same page. We’ll call this the Timebomb edition. Here we go…
Fly presses the remote and the first picture is that of Jonny Fly pinning Corey Black for the WCF World Title exactly two years ago.
Black: OH COME ON MAN!
Price: Heh. Nice one.
Orbit: Why don’t I remember this?
Fly: Oh, you weren’t here yet. It was awesome. I smacked Black with a double Fly Swatter and took his title.
Black: Get that shit off the screen, Fly.
Fly switches to the next picture. This is one of Oblivion pinning Corey Black at GEW’s Shoot to Thrill.
Black: GOD DAMMIT. FUCK OFF.
Price: (is too busy laughing to respond)
Orbit: Damn son, you lost Oblivion? What the fuck was that about?
Black: I…don’t know.
Fly: Oh shit, how’d that picture get in there? My bad, CD.
Black: I know you’re doing this on purpose, Fly.
Fly: What, me? Never. I’ll prove it. Here’s the next one.
It’s an image of Waylon Cash pinning…someone. Someone who has had his face photoshopped to resemble that of Corey Black.
Black: OH HELL NO.
Magically, Corey Black whips out a gavel from his pocket and bangs it on the table.
Fly: Really? You brought the gavel?
Black: Your damn right motherfucker, and I’m calling order right now. You know I would never lose to Waylon Cash. Don’t even joke that like or I’m going to go get my machete back.
Awkward silence. Well, silent with the exception of Jayson Price who is currently doing this…
Price: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Black: What the fuck is this all about, Fly?
Fly: Team building exercises.
Black: WHY ARE THEY ALL ABOUT ME?
Fly: Oh. Yeah, I was just trying to make the point that these other three guys in the match shouldn’t be taken lightly. You know, because they’ve all beaten you. If they can beat Corey Black, they can beat all of us. Right?
Black: Nice cover, Fly.
Fly: Well I still have one more to show.
Black: I swear to god if it’s Logan pinning me I’m going to Burning Hammer you on this conference table like you were the love child of Synn and Doc Henry. Then I’m going to feed your fucking bird antifreeze.
Fly: HEY! Don’t bring Wayne into this.
There’s a pause as Black, Price, and Orbit wait to see what Fly’s going to do.
Fly: Fine Black, you win. We’ll skip that picture.
Fly turns off the projector.
Fly: Let me say this though, I’ve faced every single person in this match one on one for the World Title. All five of them. I know everyone in this match, and I’ve seen them on the biggest stage. I KNOW that the best three wrestlers in this match are in this room right now. You all say Waylon Cash last month, trying and failing to finally get over the hump. Now you put him in the ring with five more talented wrestlers and you think he’s actually a threat? No.
What about Oblivion? The million time hardcore champion, but only one-time World Champion. What’s the reason for that? Whether a wrestler likes to admit it or not, there are levels. Oblivion has always been at a level of something less than a World Champion. He’s a gimmick wrestler and a niche champion. There’s nothing wrong with that in truth, but this is a six way match for the World Title. I’m not calling him an underdog like he thinks I would…and for the record, hearing a ‘monster’ call himself an underdog is fuckin’ comical…I’m saying that he’s not even in the race. That's his burden to bear.
…and Logan. This fuckin’ guy. He’s probably the most prideful wrestler on the roster, but his track record in this decade is less than everyone else in the match. Hell, he just lost to Oblivion two weeks ago. That’s what he’s become. Calling him old, washed up, or a relic is overplayed. Still, it has some truth to it. Today, Logan is just a name. A name that doesn’t even deserve to be in this match. You all watch – once again he’ll prove that he’s out of his fuckin’ league in a match like this. It never fails. You can't take Logan seriously anymore. Now, fuck the match. That’s all I want to say about it.
Black: So what’s next on the agenda?
Fly: The next item is figuring out where Steve Orbit is going to live.
Orbit: Hold up, what are you talkin’ about?
Fly: All Pantheon members have spectacular homes. Black’s Dethfort, Price’s Tower, my mansion. We have to find something for you.
Orbit: Nah man, I’m good with where I’m stayin’.
Fly: Whenever the Athletics get a new stadium, you should buy the Coliseum and make that your pad.
Orbit: Man, I’m not….
Orbit pauses, actually thinking about the idea.
Fly: Yeah, I know. That’d be fuckin’ awesome, right?
Orbit: Well…nah, that place is a dump.
From out of nowhere...
Price: OH SHIT.
Fly: What?
Price: There’s no coffee cakes here.
Price pulls out an old raggedy piece of paper and sets it on the table. The paper is a list of items. Price points to the first item on the list.
Price: It’s the first item on the Pantheon charter. There must be coffee cakes present at every official meeting. I SEE NO COFFEE CAKES.
Fly: Son of a bitch. How did this happen?
Orbit: I brought chicken. Does that help?
Black: We must have not gone over the charter. It is the first meeting since our reformation, after all.
Fly: Well shit. We can’t carry on like this. MEETING ADJOURNED.
Black: Maybe next time don’t bring the seagull?
Fly: I can’t promise that.
I think we’re done here. Meeting over.
Fly: IT’S A GODDAMN SEAGULL PRICE. A FUCKIN’ SEAGULL.
Price: But it looks so much like Wayne Newton.
Fly: That’s why I named him Wayne Newgull.
Price: I’m way better at naming seagulls than you.
Fly: IT’S NOT A COMPETITION PRICE!
Our scene begins at Jonny Fly’s Mansion in New York City, codenamed the Pantheon East Coast Headquarters. We are in the Pantheon conference room/serious business place just off the entrance hallway of the mansion. Inside the room we see the Pantheon gold ‘Dynasty, Future, Elements’ triangle emblazed on the carpeting underneath the long, rectangular conference table. At that table sits Jonny Fly, Corey Black, Jayson Price, and Steve Orbit.
The table – OH THE TABLE – it’s also engraved with the Pantheon logo, and sitting in the middle of the triangle is a projector pointed at a retractable projection screen that is lowered from the ceiling. Jonny Fly sits at the head of the table looking directly to his left where Jayson Price is casually reclined in his chair, feet up on the table, and looking as nonchalant as ever. Also, Fly has a seagull on his shoulder. Wayne Newgull. He’s new because the original seagull, Steven Seagull, is dead. You all remember Steven Seagull, right? Anyway, Price is to Fly’s left, Steve Orbit is to Fly’s right, and Corey Black is all the way at the other end of the table by himself because he’s been mean to everyone. Just kidding, Black isn’t here yet. That’s the only reason the seagull hasn’t lost his head, I’m sure.
Fly: So, where is Black?
Orbit: He told me he was writin’ up Jordan Caliban’s obituary and then he’d head over.
Nods all around the room.
Fly: So let’s talk guys. I’m glad the three of us could find some time to get together before the match. I thought about it a lot over the past few days, and I’ve decided that I’m just going to have fun with this match. It’s really something, isn’t it? Six top wrestlers all competing for one title. It’s like Ultimate Showdown without the consolation prizes or War without the fluff. I think anyone can with this thing. I mean that too. Even if I go in that ring and have the performance of my life, there’s no telling what’s going to happen. Therefore, my goal is not to retain the WCF World Title…
Price and Orbit’s eyes grow wide.
Price: Uh, say that again?
Fly: My goal is to keep that belt in Pantheon. Period. Like I said last week, if that means I end up losing, there won’t be any hard feelings from me. Both of you would deserve the belt, and you’d represent it well.
Black: Well, maybe not Price, but yeah…
Yep. Corey Black has arrived. All three men turn to look at him in the doorway to the conference room.
Black: What the hell is on your shoulder, Fly?
Fly: It’s a seagull!
Black: It looks like Wayne Newton, and you know what we do to Wayne Newton, right?
Black magically pulls out a machete that’s been tucked behind his shirt to emphasize his point. Upon seeing the machete, Jay Price quickly gets up from his seat and holds his hands in the air.
Price: Hey man! No machetes in here! You take that shit outside.
Corey Black looks sad. He’s sort of cute when he’s sad.
Black: But…
Orbit: Come on Black. You know that machete shit is getting old. You stirrin’ up some bad feelings over here.
Orbit nods in the direction of Price.
Black: *sigh*
Black turns and tosses his machete out into the hallway. He closes the door behind him sealing off the Pantheon conference room from the destruction of his machete. Relieved, Jayson Price retakes his seat. Black walks over to the table and takes a seat next to him.
Black: So, what’s the agenda?
Fly: We were just talking about the match on Sunday.
Black: Right. Pantheon power, engaged.
Fly: I was just telling Price and Orbit that for me, this match isn’t about retaining. They are both equally capable of leaving this match as the WCF World Champion…and I understand that. I know that I need to play the numbers game. We have a better chance of keeping that belt within Pantheon by going three on three rather than me trying to go one on five or either of them trying to go one on five.
As Fly talks, Black nods his head in agreement.
Black: I agree. Could you imagine if Oblivion, Cash, or…FUCKING LOGAN became World Champion? Ugh.
There’s a collective shudder from around the room.
Fly: On a happier note, guess what time it is?
Price: What?
Fly smiles and grabs a remote off of the conference table and turns on the projector.
Black: It’s about damn time, that’s what it is.
Orbit: Yo, what’s goin’ on here?
Fly: It’s a Pantheon meeting tradition. I’m going to show an image on the projector and you guys have to tell me the first thing that pops into your head. It’s a team building exercise. The goal is to have us all say the same thing and be on the same page. We’ll call this the Timebomb edition. Here we go…
Fly presses the remote and the first picture is that of Jonny Fly pinning Corey Black for the WCF World Title exactly two years ago.
Black: OH COME ON MAN!
Price: Heh. Nice one.
Orbit: Why don’t I remember this?
Fly: Oh, you weren’t here yet. It was awesome. I smacked Black with a double Fly Swatter and took his title.
Black: Get that shit off the screen, Fly.
Fly switches to the next picture. This is one of Oblivion pinning Corey Black at GEW’s Shoot to Thrill.
Black: GOD DAMMIT. FUCK OFF.
Price: (is too busy laughing to respond)
Orbit: Damn son, you lost Oblivion? What the fuck was that about?
Black: I…don’t know.
Fly: Oh shit, how’d that picture get in there? My bad, CD.
Black: I know you’re doing this on purpose, Fly.
Fly: What, me? Never. I’ll prove it. Here’s the next one.
It’s an image of Waylon Cash pinning…someone. Someone who has had his face photoshopped to resemble that of Corey Black.
Black: OH HELL NO.
Magically, Corey Black whips out a gavel from his pocket and bangs it on the table.
Fly: Really? You brought the gavel?
Black: Your damn right motherfucker, and I’m calling order right now. You know I would never lose to Waylon Cash. Don’t even joke that like or I’m going to go get my machete back.
Awkward silence. Well, silent with the exception of Jayson Price who is currently doing this…
Price: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Black: What the fuck is this all about, Fly?
Fly: Team building exercises.
Black: WHY ARE THEY ALL ABOUT ME?
Fly: Oh. Yeah, I was just trying to make the point that these other three guys in the match shouldn’t be taken lightly. You know, because they’ve all beaten you. If they can beat Corey Black, they can beat all of us. Right?
Black: Nice cover, Fly.
Fly: Well I still have one more to show.
Black: I swear to god if it’s Logan pinning me I’m going to Burning Hammer you on this conference table like you were the love child of Synn and Doc Henry. Then I’m going to feed your fucking bird antifreeze.
Fly: HEY! Don’t bring Wayne into this.
There’s a pause as Black, Price, and Orbit wait to see what Fly’s going to do.
Fly: Fine Black, you win. We’ll skip that picture.
Fly turns off the projector.
Fly: Let me say this though, I’ve faced every single person in this match one on one for the World Title. All five of them. I know everyone in this match, and I’ve seen them on the biggest stage. I KNOW that the best three wrestlers in this match are in this room right now. You all say Waylon Cash last month, trying and failing to finally get over the hump. Now you put him in the ring with five more talented wrestlers and you think he’s actually a threat? No.
What about Oblivion? The million time hardcore champion, but only one-time World Champion. What’s the reason for that? Whether a wrestler likes to admit it or not, there are levels. Oblivion has always been at a level of something less than a World Champion. He’s a gimmick wrestler and a niche champion. There’s nothing wrong with that in truth, but this is a six way match for the World Title. I’m not calling him an underdog like he thinks I would…and for the record, hearing a ‘monster’ call himself an underdog is fuckin’ comical…I’m saying that he’s not even in the race. That's his burden to bear.
…and Logan. This fuckin’ guy. He’s probably the most prideful wrestler on the roster, but his track record in this decade is less than everyone else in the match. Hell, he just lost to Oblivion two weeks ago. That’s what he’s become. Calling him old, washed up, or a relic is overplayed. Still, it has some truth to it. Today, Logan is just a name. A name that doesn’t even deserve to be in this match. You all watch – once again he’ll prove that he’s out of his fuckin’ league in a match like this. It never fails. You can't take Logan seriously anymore. Now, fuck the match. That’s all I want to say about it.
Black: So what’s next on the agenda?
Fly: The next item is figuring out where Steve Orbit is going to live.
Orbit: Hold up, what are you talkin’ about?
Fly: All Pantheon members have spectacular homes. Black’s Dethfort, Price’s Tower, my mansion. We have to find something for you.
Orbit: Nah man, I’m good with where I’m stayin’.
Fly: Whenever the Athletics get a new stadium, you should buy the Coliseum and make that your pad.
Orbit: Man, I’m not….
Orbit pauses, actually thinking about the idea.
Fly: Yeah, I know. That’d be fuckin’ awesome, right?
Orbit: Well…nah, that place is a dump.
From out of nowhere...
Price: OH SHIT.
Fly: What?
Price: There’s no coffee cakes here.
Price pulls out an old raggedy piece of paper and sets it on the table. The paper is a list of items. Price points to the first item on the list.
Price: It’s the first item on the Pantheon charter. There must be coffee cakes present at every official meeting. I SEE NO COFFEE CAKES.
Fly: Son of a bitch. How did this happen?
Orbit: I brought chicken. Does that help?
Black: We must have not gone over the charter. It is the first meeting since our reformation, after all.
Fly: Well shit. We can’t carry on like this. MEETING ADJOURNED.
Black: Maybe next time don’t bring the seagull?
Fly: I can’t promise that.
I think we’re done here. Meeting over.
