Post by Steve Orbit on Feb 9, 2014 14:49:39 GMT -5
This promo is a co-written JOINT EFFORT by Jonny Fly and Steve Orbit.
==
You are brought inside of Jonny Fly’s Jaguar XKR as it speeds down the road. Inside sits Fly, masterfully piloting the car through New York City traffic, and Steve Orbit, masterfully sitting in the passenger seat with his head slumped against the window napping. Also, there is faint smell of fried chicken in the car but we’ll get to that later. Fly hits a bump in the road, causing Orbit’s head to slide down the window. Waking up, he catches himself and angrily looks over at Fly.
Orbit: What the fuck man?
Fly unsafely abandons car driving 101 and takes his eyes off the road. He turns toward Orbit.
Fly: What?
Orbit: I was sleepin’. Your shitty drivin’ woke me up.
Fly: I believe the people you are looking to blame is the New York City Transportation Department. These roads are terrible.
Orbit rolls his eyes and repositions himself on the window for night-night time.
Fly: Why are you so tired anyway?
Orbit doesn’t respond.
Fly: STEVE! Why are you so tired?
Orbit sighs deeply and lifts his head off the window again. He looks at Fly.
Orbit: Because I’m tired. Happy? Now let me sleep.
Fly: Fuck no. It’s a big day for us.
Orbit: What are you talking about?
Fly: THE DREAM TEAM IS BACK! Also, I have a surprise for you.
Orbit mutters something inaudible under his breath. He reaches under the seat and pulls the chair back lever to a reclining position. He lays all the way back and turns his body so that his back is toward Fly.
Fly: Seriously, you don’t even want to know your surprise?
Orbit: I want you to stop talking so I can sleep.
Fly: What if I told you it was a hooker?
No movement whatsoever from Orbit.
Fly: Hmm. That always works for me. Alright, what if I told you it was crack?
Instant movement. Orbit quickly sits up and turns toward Fly.
Orbit: Seriously!?
Fly: NO. What the hell is wrong with you? Also, you have some white stuff on your nose.
Orbit takes a finger and runs it underneath his nose. There’s nothing there.
Orbit: What’s your deal, man? You draggin’ me out tonight when you know damn well I ain’t even comfortable hangin’ out with you. What’s all this about?
Fly: I’m trying to fix our issues. Look, quick talk. I’ve done everything I ever wanted to do in life. I’ve gone everywhere I want to go, I’ve entertained millions of fans, made a fuck ton of money, won every title or match I ever wanted to win, just…everything. Through all that, I’ve done some bad things. Some really fucked up things.
Orbit: Yeah. You got some fuckin’ issues. We all know that.
Fly: But bro…so do you.
Orbit glares at Fly, not happy with the comment.
Fly: What I’m saying is in the past it’s always been about me. That’s how I’ve operated. Not anymore. I’m changing the tune. This is about more than just me. We, as Pantheon, need to represent more than just four wrestlers who decided to team up. We’ve always been more than just a wrestling stable. In the past, it was Pantheon that turned the WCF from a corrupt organization run by a corrupt owner, into a place that had real leadership, rewarded its talent for performance, and led the company into a new era. This time around we’re trying to set an example for people to follow if they want to have the success we’ve had. It’s going to be a little hard to do that if the two of us can’t even get along.
Orbit: I dunno, Fly. I find it hard to trust you. It’s probably always gonna be hard to trust you.
Fly: I understand. I deserve that. Honestly though, a few months ago my mind was set solely on retaining the World Title. I was going to retain no matter what the cost. That’s how I was approaching things. That meant nothing was off-limits. I refuse to be that person anymore. That belt isn’t worth ruining friendships. That belt isn’t worth setting a bad example to the rest of the roster on how a World Champion should act. I’m done with the me against the world routine. You
Orbit nods his head. He sits silently for a moment as Fly continues to drive. Then, softly, he mutters…
Orbit: I’m actually lookin’ forward to this week. The match. I enjoyed taggin’ with you back last year. We were damn near unbeatable.
The comment from Orbit brings a smile to Fly’s face.
Fly: Damn near? Don’t undersell us, we were unbeatable. We’re STILL unbeatable. That’s our job these days, man. I’m not going to call us old-timers or any of that cliché shit, but we’re out there setting the standard. That’s what drives me. On one hand, this week’s match is as meaningless as they come. On the other hand we’re out there representing Pantheon and Pantheon’s mission. That means we need to go out there and do what we do best. I have no issue with Denise D’Evil or Night Rider. They’re doing their thing, and I respect that. They’re just booked against the wrong people this week.
Orbit: I hear that. Rider and Denise are mostly good people. I don’t envy them this week though.
Fly: Rider is a veteran. He’s been around for awhile. He has to know the odds are stacked against his team. He’s always been respectful to me, and I’ve always appreciated that. I’m going to show him the same respect in telling him that I dig what he’s trying to accomplish. He goes out there every week and grinds. I was a fan of him as the People’s Champion and there’s no shame in losing that belt to someone like Jayson Price.
I honestly don’t know too much about Denise. We’ve never had the pleasure of sharing the ring with one another, which is weird because she’s been here for about six months or so. There’s always a couple people on the roster who you haven’t had a chance to see in-person and you just don’t know what to expect. For me, she’s one of those people. I don’t believe the team of Night Rider and Denise is weak by any means, but…Steve Orbit and Jonny Fly. The fuckin’ Dream Team back together, this time for much longer than one week. Pound it, bro.
Fly releases one of his hands from the steering wheel and he and Orbit share some knuckle love. Now fully awake, Orbit begins to question what exactly they’re doing.
Orbit: So you said you have a surprise for me. What’s up?
Fly: Ah, right. The reason why I came and picked you up is because I know this is a special time of year for you, and as part of my efforts to make amends for the things I’ve done to you in the past…
Orbit: Wait, wait…hold up. What are you talking about ‘special time of the year?’
Fly: It’s…you know…your month of the year.
Orbit: Fly, you ain’t makin’ a damn bit of sense.
Fly: It’s black history month!
Orbit: I’d prefer if you call it African-American Heritage month. Either way, the whole thing is bullshit. Why do we only get a month? African-American heritage is American heritage. It should be celebrated every month, every day.
Fly: Yeah, and it’s the shortest month of the year too. Though, you do get Martin Luther King Jr. day in January I suppose….
Orbit: Fly.
Fly: Yeah?
Orbit: Shut the fuck up.
Fly: Sorry. I’m just trying to be a friend. Either way, we’re going to give back to your people today.
Orbit: My people? You’re really pushin’ it today homie.
Fly looks legitimately confused.
Fly: I don’t know what you’re angry about. We’re doing a good thing here. I got us some chicken in the back and we’re going to head over to the Martin Luther King Jr. Education Center and pass out free fried chicken to all the students. Well, at least the…uh…dark…ones.
Orbit: FUCK MAN. Just say black.
Fly: Black. Sorry again.
Orbit: Also, this is fuckin’ stupid. They don’t want chicken.
Fly: But they’re…nevermind.
Orbit: You were going to say black weren’t you?
Fly: …no.
Orbit: That’s some stereotypical shit, Fly. I would expect that a FRIEND wouldn’t say stuff like that.
I hear the words Orbit is saying, but he’s also in the process of reaching into the back seat where a container of Kentucky Fried Chicken is sitting. Orbit returns with a leg and immediately bites into it.
Fly: HEY! That’s not for you. That’s for the kids!
Orbit: Fuck you. You can afford more.
Fly: I guess that’s true. But seriously man, I think for these kids just the chance to see you in person, talk to you, all of that…would do them wonders. You’re a role model for them. You’ve made something of yourself despite the odds being against you. Sure, you have a little drug problem, but we all got issues, right?
Orbit has finished his chicken and is licking his fingers clean.
Orbit: That was nice, Fly. Real nice.
At this point Fly has pulled over on the side of the road. We’re at Amsterdam Avenue between West 65th and 66th streets in Manhattan. Next to us is the five story Martin Luther King Jr. Educational Center. In between the road where Fly is parked and the building’s entrance is a courtyard. The courtyard is full of people. We can hardly even see the building through all the masses.
Fly: That’s weird. Everyone should be in school. Come on, let’s go see what’s up.
Orbit: I’ll grab the chicken!
Fly and Orbit exit the car, with Orbit carefully tucking the tub of fried chicken under his arm. They begin moving toward the crowd and pushing through toward the front.
Orbit: Yo, what the..
Fly and Orbit stand in astonishment. Abraham Lincoln stands in front of a podium, addressing the hundreds, maybe thousands of people gathered at the courtyard. Fly starts laughing and nodding, as if he suddenly realizes what's going on.
Fly: Heh.. figures.
Orbit: What?
Fly: This is just a..
Orbit: Yeah, I know. It's a reenactment or some shit. Lincoln freed the slaves, we at a black school, it's black history month-- I get it. This is cool, man-- this is some historical mother fuckin' shit. I'ma go shake that man's hand. I don't care if he the real Abe Lincoln or not.
Fly: By all means.
Orbit begins looking for a way to get up to the front.
Fly: ... This should be fun.
Orbit can't seem to figure out how to break through the crowd. Frustrated, he takes a pill bottle out from his jacket pocket and dumps a few into his hand, throwing them into his mouth and chewing them down. He swallows them with a gulp, gaining the confidence to make a bee line through the crowd-- when that doesn't work, he actually climbs on top of the crowd, stepping on people's heads and stuff as he walks towards Abe Lincoln. Lincoln is in the middle of... some speech, maybe the Gettysburg Address? Sure. Then he notices Orbit, dressed in a lime green pimp suit with tons of gold and 'gator boots. Orbit steps onto the stage and Abraham Lincoln stops in the middle of his speech.
Lincoln: Can I help you, son?
Orbit walks next to him on the stage and raises Abe's arm in the air. Orbit speaks into the microphone.
Orbit: Abe Lincoln, y'all!
The crowd pops.
Orbit: This mother fucker is the MAN! I mean, not really the man-- the MAN keeps us down, but this brother, he helped us UP! Yeah! How 'bout another round of applause for ABRAHAM LINCOLN!
The crowd whistles and cheers. We cut to Fly, snickering from afar. Then we cut back to Abe and Orbit. Abe smiles and waves to the people, before motioning for Orbit to head around the corner behind the building. Orbit looks a little confused, but he nods, and they head behind the building.
Orbit: What's this all about, man?
Lincoln: First of all, give me a palmful of those blue tablets you've got these.
Orbit: Hey, this shit ain't for free. I'ma need to see some dough.
Lincoln: I FREED THE SLAVES. Your ancestors, no doubt.
Orbit: Actually, my ancestors we brought from Africa to Jamaica, where they kinda freed themselves-- but hold up. Anyway, you ain't the real Abe Lincoln. You some impersonator. Big difference.
Lincoln: Oh, but I am the real Abraham Lincoln.
Orbit: Oh yeah? If you the real Abe Lincoln, they why the fake beard?
Orbit tries to rip the beard off Abe's face. He can't, of course.
Orbit: Damn. That's on there pretty good.
Lincoln: Before you try anything else, listen-- you recently joined Pantheon?
Orbit starts to look nervous.
Orbit: How the fuck you knew that?
Lincoln: Bitch, I've been down with Pantheon for many a fortnight.
Orbit: Wait, wait-- Fly put you up to this? This some kinda joke?
Lincoln: Absolutely not.
Orbit: Well... shit, man! Thanks for, you know, freeing the slaves and shit. You really was the first one to give us black folks a shot, homie. Good lookin' out, man.
Orbit holds his fist out for Lincoln to pound it. Instead... he doens't.
Lincoln: Give you a shot? I want you to understand something, boy. I HATE BLACK PEOPLE. It's called politics, you dumb fuck. Back when I was the boss in the House, the... AHEM... WHITE house, the people wanted to free their slaves-- God knows why-- so I did it, and you know why I did it? Because it gave me a legacy. People think I'm the best president EVER.
Orbit: Well, except--
Lincoln: BEST EVER! Plus, I was assassinated! That makes people love me even more.
Orbit: Yeah.. it worked for Biggie and Pac.
Lincoln: Indeed. Anyway, I hate you. Because you're black. I hope your time in Pantheon is short-lived and I never have to see you again.
Lincoln begins to take some steps backwards, as his body begins to disintigrate.
Orbit: Wait!
Lincoln: I hate youuuuu... blaaaaack assshoooooolleee....
He fades away.
Orbit: Damn!
Just then, Orbit walks around the corner of the building, back to the courtyard-- the courtyard is empty. Fly is the only one there. He's standing up, sleeping in the middle of the courtyard. Orbit walks over to him and begins to shake him.
Orbit: Fly... Fly!
AND THEN
Then scene switches to inside a locker room. Gym unknown. Jonny Fly is sitting on a bench, leaned up against a locker, sleeping. Orbit, looking sleepy-eyed and sitting next to him, shakes Fly in an attempt to wake up.
Orbit: Fly... Fly!
Fly slowly awakens. He looks around at his surroundings.
Fly: What the...
Orbit: Yeah, I passed out too, homie. I told you it was some good shit.
The camera pans next to Orbit, where there is an ashtray containing a fat roach from the joint we can assume they smoked earlier.
Fly: Man, I just had a weird dream-- you were there.
Orbit: Yeah? I had one too. You were there.
Fly: Was Abe Lincoln there?
Orbit's jaw drops.
Fly: I'll take that as a yes. Abraham, that rascal. He's practically a member of Pantheon, you know.
Orbit: Yeah, he told me. I mean, I dreamt that he told me. I mean... I don't know what the fuck I mean.
Fly winks at Orbit.
Fly: You'll get used to it.
Orbit shrugs. He takes the roach out of the ashtray, brings it to his lips and puts the lighter to it's ass, inhaling.
Fly: Since when did you start smoking weed, anyway?
Orbit: Don't worry about me, bro.
Orbit offers the roach to Fly, but he declines. Orbit takes another pull and then taps it out in the ashtray. Orbit takes a deep breath.
Orbit: Well, that was a nice nap. You wanna get back to the gym now?
Fly: I suppose.
Orbit: You worried about D'Evil and Rider at all?
Fly scoffs.
Fly: No. Nothing against them, really. They've been a solid team. A solid mid-card team, shows up every week, et cetera. On the other hand, you and I have been in the main event almost every single week for as long as anyone can remember at this point.
Orbit: True. But yo, Rider and Denise know that, too. They gonna be lookin' at this like it's they big shot, they big break. If they beat us, then they one step closer to the main event. This is like a... a test for them, you know what I'm sayin'?
Fly: I do know what you're saying. And I agree. It is a test-- a test that they won't pass, just like any other team that's presented themselves as a threat to the Dream Team.
Orbit: This Denise D'Evil chick though, she, uh... she high, or what?
Fly: Man, she's higher than YOU.
Orbit narrows his eyes.
Fly: But seriously... come on. Immortality? This is stuff out of children's books. I don't know if this is part of her, you know, "gimmick" as a wrestler, or if she actually believes she's immortal and been alive for centuries or however long-- either way, it's fairy tale stuff. No basis in reality. Maybe that's comforting to her. Maybe her real life is so dull and boring that creating a fantasy world where she's some kind of everlasting knobslopper is more interesting.
Orbit busts out laughing.
Fly: Really, though. And Night Rider...
Orbit starts humming the "Night Rider" theme from the 80s.
Fly: No. Night Rider the wrestler.
Orbit: I know. He's ridin' around with KITT. You didn't see that shit?
Fly: I... guess not.
Orbit: It's pretty cool. Maybe we should put KITT on the line in this match. I wouldn't mind having a ride like that. Have to put some 20s on it though. And some... you know, alligator seats and shit.
Fly: ANYWAY. About the wrestler, Night Rider.
Orbit: I don't know, man. He seems like an alright guy. A square, but he's alright. He's in love with Denise. That's really... nice. I'm happy for him. Happy for THEM. Unfortunately, my congratulations is comin' in the form of a mother fuckin' Pimp Slap. Hopefully I can line both of 'em up and do 'em both at the same time, WHAP WHAP.
Fly: Oh yeah. Relationships in pro wrestling. Those ALWAYS WORK OUT.
Fly rolls his eyes.
Orbit: One thing I found funny, is that people are wondering if me and you are gonna get along. If we gonna fall apart. If we trust each other.
Fly and Orbit look at each other for a moment, and then both bust out laughing.
Orbit: I don't trust this mother fucker at all!
Fly: We have so much underlying hate for each other!
They keep laughing. After a few moments, Orbit wipes tears from his eyes. From laughing so hard.
Orbit: Oh, man. Of course we don't trust each other. That's fine. In this business, you ain't supposed to trust nobody. It's a mutual understanding. Now that we both in Pantheon, our interests are the same. If I do well, Fly does well. If Fly does well, I do well. That's the way it go.
Fly: Exactly. We don't even have to like each other at all.
Orbit glares at Fly.
Fly: I'm not saying I don't like you, man.
Orbit: What was all that "I'm sorry" sing-a-long bullshit on Slam?
Fly: I said that's not what I meant--
Orbit: Whatever, man. Whatever. Anyway, the point is-- this week, we both wanna win. When Jonny Fly and Steve Orbit want to win, they win. Why? Because when the bell rings, all the feelings and bullshit goes out the window and we just do what we do.
Fly: And what we do, is wrestle better than anybody else in this company-- or any other. The Dream Team picks up another victory this week.
Orbit: Y'all can bet on that.
Orbit puts his fist out and Fly pounds it. They look at the camera one last time, before getting up and presumably heading back out to the gym. With that, we fade out.
==
You are brought inside of Jonny Fly’s Jaguar XKR as it speeds down the road. Inside sits Fly, masterfully piloting the car through New York City traffic, and Steve Orbit, masterfully sitting in the passenger seat with his head slumped against the window napping. Also, there is faint smell of fried chicken in the car but we’ll get to that later. Fly hits a bump in the road, causing Orbit’s head to slide down the window. Waking up, he catches himself and angrily looks over at Fly.
Orbit: What the fuck man?
Fly unsafely abandons car driving 101 and takes his eyes off the road. He turns toward Orbit.
Fly: What?
Orbit: I was sleepin’. Your shitty drivin’ woke me up.
Fly: I believe the people you are looking to blame is the New York City Transportation Department. These roads are terrible.
Orbit rolls his eyes and repositions himself on the window for night-night time.
Fly: Why are you so tired anyway?
Orbit doesn’t respond.
Fly: STEVE! Why are you so tired?
Orbit sighs deeply and lifts his head off the window again. He looks at Fly.
Orbit: Because I’m tired. Happy? Now let me sleep.
Fly: Fuck no. It’s a big day for us.
Orbit: What are you talking about?
Fly: THE DREAM TEAM IS BACK! Also, I have a surprise for you.
Orbit mutters something inaudible under his breath. He reaches under the seat and pulls the chair back lever to a reclining position. He lays all the way back and turns his body so that his back is toward Fly.
Fly: Seriously, you don’t even want to know your surprise?
Orbit: I want you to stop talking so I can sleep.
Fly: What if I told you it was a hooker?
No movement whatsoever from Orbit.
Fly: Hmm. That always works for me. Alright, what if I told you it was crack?
Instant movement. Orbit quickly sits up and turns toward Fly.
Orbit: Seriously!?
Fly: NO. What the hell is wrong with you? Also, you have some white stuff on your nose.
Orbit takes a finger and runs it underneath his nose. There’s nothing there.
Orbit: What’s your deal, man? You draggin’ me out tonight when you know damn well I ain’t even comfortable hangin’ out with you. What’s all this about?
Fly: I’m trying to fix our issues. Look, quick talk. I’ve done everything I ever wanted to do in life. I’ve gone everywhere I want to go, I’ve entertained millions of fans, made a fuck ton of money, won every title or match I ever wanted to win, just…everything. Through all that, I’ve done some bad things. Some really fucked up things.
Orbit: Yeah. You got some fuckin’ issues. We all know that.
Fly: But bro…so do you.
Orbit glares at Fly, not happy with the comment.
Fly: What I’m saying is in the past it’s always been about me. That’s how I’ve operated. Not anymore. I’m changing the tune. This is about more than just me. We, as Pantheon, need to represent more than just four wrestlers who decided to team up. We’ve always been more than just a wrestling stable. In the past, it was Pantheon that turned the WCF from a corrupt organization run by a corrupt owner, into a place that had real leadership, rewarded its talent for performance, and led the company into a new era. This time around we’re trying to set an example for people to follow if they want to have the success we’ve had. It’s going to be a little hard to do that if the two of us can’t even get along.
Orbit: I dunno, Fly. I find it hard to trust you. It’s probably always gonna be hard to trust you.
Fly: I understand. I deserve that. Honestly though, a few months ago my mind was set solely on retaining the World Title. I was going to retain no matter what the cost. That’s how I was approaching things. That meant nothing was off-limits. I refuse to be that person anymore. That belt isn’t worth ruining friendships. That belt isn’t worth setting a bad example to the rest of the roster on how a World Champion should act. I’m done with the me against the world routine. You
Orbit nods his head. He sits silently for a moment as Fly continues to drive. Then, softly, he mutters…
Orbit: I’m actually lookin’ forward to this week. The match. I enjoyed taggin’ with you back last year. We were damn near unbeatable.
The comment from Orbit brings a smile to Fly’s face.
Fly: Damn near? Don’t undersell us, we were unbeatable. We’re STILL unbeatable. That’s our job these days, man. I’m not going to call us old-timers or any of that cliché shit, but we’re out there setting the standard. That’s what drives me. On one hand, this week’s match is as meaningless as they come. On the other hand we’re out there representing Pantheon and Pantheon’s mission. That means we need to go out there and do what we do best. I have no issue with Denise D’Evil or Night Rider. They’re doing their thing, and I respect that. They’re just booked against the wrong people this week.
Orbit: I hear that. Rider and Denise are mostly good people. I don’t envy them this week though.
Fly: Rider is a veteran. He’s been around for awhile. He has to know the odds are stacked against his team. He’s always been respectful to me, and I’ve always appreciated that. I’m going to show him the same respect in telling him that I dig what he’s trying to accomplish. He goes out there every week and grinds. I was a fan of him as the People’s Champion and there’s no shame in losing that belt to someone like Jayson Price.
I honestly don’t know too much about Denise. We’ve never had the pleasure of sharing the ring with one another, which is weird because she’s been here for about six months or so. There’s always a couple people on the roster who you haven’t had a chance to see in-person and you just don’t know what to expect. For me, she’s one of those people. I don’t believe the team of Night Rider and Denise is weak by any means, but…Steve Orbit and Jonny Fly. The fuckin’ Dream Team back together, this time for much longer than one week. Pound it, bro.
Fly releases one of his hands from the steering wheel and he and Orbit share some knuckle love. Now fully awake, Orbit begins to question what exactly they’re doing.
Orbit: So you said you have a surprise for me. What’s up?
Fly: Ah, right. The reason why I came and picked you up is because I know this is a special time of year for you, and as part of my efforts to make amends for the things I’ve done to you in the past…
Orbit: Wait, wait…hold up. What are you talking about ‘special time of the year?’
Fly: It’s…you know…your month of the year.
Orbit: Fly, you ain’t makin’ a damn bit of sense.
Fly: It’s black history month!
Orbit: I’d prefer if you call it African-American Heritage month. Either way, the whole thing is bullshit. Why do we only get a month? African-American heritage is American heritage. It should be celebrated every month, every day.
Fly: Yeah, and it’s the shortest month of the year too. Though, you do get Martin Luther King Jr. day in January I suppose….
Orbit: Fly.
Fly: Yeah?
Orbit: Shut the fuck up.
Fly: Sorry. I’m just trying to be a friend. Either way, we’re going to give back to your people today.
Orbit: My people? You’re really pushin’ it today homie.
Fly looks legitimately confused.
Fly: I don’t know what you’re angry about. We’re doing a good thing here. I got us some chicken in the back and we’re going to head over to the Martin Luther King Jr. Education Center and pass out free fried chicken to all the students. Well, at least the…uh…dark…ones.
Orbit: FUCK MAN. Just say black.
Fly: Black. Sorry again.
Orbit: Also, this is fuckin’ stupid. They don’t want chicken.
Fly: But they’re…nevermind.
Orbit: You were going to say black weren’t you?
Fly: …no.
Orbit: That’s some stereotypical shit, Fly. I would expect that a FRIEND wouldn’t say stuff like that.
I hear the words Orbit is saying, but he’s also in the process of reaching into the back seat where a container of Kentucky Fried Chicken is sitting. Orbit returns with a leg and immediately bites into it.
Fly: HEY! That’s not for you. That’s for the kids!
Orbit: Fuck you. You can afford more.
Fly: I guess that’s true. But seriously man, I think for these kids just the chance to see you in person, talk to you, all of that…would do them wonders. You’re a role model for them. You’ve made something of yourself despite the odds being against you. Sure, you have a little drug problem, but we all got issues, right?
Orbit has finished his chicken and is licking his fingers clean.
Orbit: That was nice, Fly. Real nice.
At this point Fly has pulled over on the side of the road. We’re at Amsterdam Avenue between West 65th and 66th streets in Manhattan. Next to us is the five story Martin Luther King Jr. Educational Center. In between the road where Fly is parked and the building’s entrance is a courtyard. The courtyard is full of people. We can hardly even see the building through all the masses.
Fly: That’s weird. Everyone should be in school. Come on, let’s go see what’s up.
Orbit: I’ll grab the chicken!
Fly and Orbit exit the car, with Orbit carefully tucking the tub of fried chicken under his arm. They begin moving toward the crowd and pushing through toward the front.
Orbit: Yo, what the..
Fly and Orbit stand in astonishment. Abraham Lincoln stands in front of a podium, addressing the hundreds, maybe thousands of people gathered at the courtyard. Fly starts laughing and nodding, as if he suddenly realizes what's going on.
Fly: Heh.. figures.
Orbit: What?
Fly: This is just a..
Orbit: Yeah, I know. It's a reenactment or some shit. Lincoln freed the slaves, we at a black school, it's black history month-- I get it. This is cool, man-- this is some historical mother fuckin' shit. I'ma go shake that man's hand. I don't care if he the real Abe Lincoln or not.
Fly: By all means.
Orbit begins looking for a way to get up to the front.
Fly: ... This should be fun.
Orbit can't seem to figure out how to break through the crowd. Frustrated, he takes a pill bottle out from his jacket pocket and dumps a few into his hand, throwing them into his mouth and chewing them down. He swallows them with a gulp, gaining the confidence to make a bee line through the crowd-- when that doesn't work, he actually climbs on top of the crowd, stepping on people's heads and stuff as he walks towards Abe Lincoln. Lincoln is in the middle of... some speech, maybe the Gettysburg Address? Sure. Then he notices Orbit, dressed in a lime green pimp suit with tons of gold and 'gator boots. Orbit steps onto the stage and Abraham Lincoln stops in the middle of his speech.
Lincoln: Can I help you, son?
Orbit walks next to him on the stage and raises Abe's arm in the air. Orbit speaks into the microphone.
Orbit: Abe Lincoln, y'all!
The crowd pops.
Orbit: This mother fucker is the MAN! I mean, not really the man-- the MAN keeps us down, but this brother, he helped us UP! Yeah! How 'bout another round of applause for ABRAHAM LINCOLN!
The crowd whistles and cheers. We cut to Fly, snickering from afar. Then we cut back to Abe and Orbit. Abe smiles and waves to the people, before motioning for Orbit to head around the corner behind the building. Orbit looks a little confused, but he nods, and they head behind the building.
Orbit: What's this all about, man?
Lincoln: First of all, give me a palmful of those blue tablets you've got these.
Orbit: Hey, this shit ain't for free. I'ma need to see some dough.
Lincoln: I FREED THE SLAVES. Your ancestors, no doubt.
Orbit: Actually, my ancestors we brought from Africa to Jamaica, where they kinda freed themselves-- but hold up. Anyway, you ain't the real Abe Lincoln. You some impersonator. Big difference.
Lincoln: Oh, but I am the real Abraham Lincoln.
Orbit: Oh yeah? If you the real Abe Lincoln, they why the fake beard?
Orbit tries to rip the beard off Abe's face. He can't, of course.
Orbit: Damn. That's on there pretty good.
Lincoln: Before you try anything else, listen-- you recently joined Pantheon?
Orbit starts to look nervous.
Orbit: How the fuck you knew that?
Lincoln: Bitch, I've been down with Pantheon for many a fortnight.
Orbit: Wait, wait-- Fly put you up to this? This some kinda joke?
Lincoln: Absolutely not.
Orbit: Well... shit, man! Thanks for, you know, freeing the slaves and shit. You really was the first one to give us black folks a shot, homie. Good lookin' out, man.
Orbit holds his fist out for Lincoln to pound it. Instead... he doens't.
Lincoln: Give you a shot? I want you to understand something, boy. I HATE BLACK PEOPLE. It's called politics, you dumb fuck. Back when I was the boss in the House, the... AHEM... WHITE house, the people wanted to free their slaves-- God knows why-- so I did it, and you know why I did it? Because it gave me a legacy. People think I'm the best president EVER.
Orbit: Well, except--
Lincoln: BEST EVER! Plus, I was assassinated! That makes people love me even more.
Orbit: Yeah.. it worked for Biggie and Pac.
Lincoln: Indeed. Anyway, I hate you. Because you're black. I hope your time in Pantheon is short-lived and I never have to see you again.
Lincoln begins to take some steps backwards, as his body begins to disintigrate.
Orbit: Wait!
Lincoln: I hate youuuuu... blaaaaack assshoooooolleee....
He fades away.
Orbit: Damn!
Just then, Orbit walks around the corner of the building, back to the courtyard-- the courtyard is empty. Fly is the only one there. He's standing up, sleeping in the middle of the courtyard. Orbit walks over to him and begins to shake him.
Orbit: Fly... Fly!
AND THEN
Then scene switches to inside a locker room. Gym unknown. Jonny Fly is sitting on a bench, leaned up against a locker, sleeping. Orbit, looking sleepy-eyed and sitting next to him, shakes Fly in an attempt to wake up.
Orbit: Fly... Fly!
Fly slowly awakens. He looks around at his surroundings.
Fly: What the...
Orbit: Yeah, I passed out too, homie. I told you it was some good shit.
The camera pans next to Orbit, where there is an ashtray containing a fat roach from the joint we can assume they smoked earlier.
Fly: Man, I just had a weird dream-- you were there.
Orbit: Yeah? I had one too. You were there.
Fly: Was Abe Lincoln there?
Orbit's jaw drops.
Fly: I'll take that as a yes. Abraham, that rascal. He's practically a member of Pantheon, you know.
Orbit: Yeah, he told me. I mean, I dreamt that he told me. I mean... I don't know what the fuck I mean.
Fly winks at Orbit.
Fly: You'll get used to it.
Orbit shrugs. He takes the roach out of the ashtray, brings it to his lips and puts the lighter to it's ass, inhaling.
Fly: Since when did you start smoking weed, anyway?
Orbit: Don't worry about me, bro.
Orbit offers the roach to Fly, but he declines. Orbit takes another pull and then taps it out in the ashtray. Orbit takes a deep breath.
Orbit: Well, that was a nice nap. You wanna get back to the gym now?
Fly: I suppose.
Orbit: You worried about D'Evil and Rider at all?
Fly scoffs.
Fly: No. Nothing against them, really. They've been a solid team. A solid mid-card team, shows up every week, et cetera. On the other hand, you and I have been in the main event almost every single week for as long as anyone can remember at this point.
Orbit: True. But yo, Rider and Denise know that, too. They gonna be lookin' at this like it's they big shot, they big break. If they beat us, then they one step closer to the main event. This is like a... a test for them, you know what I'm sayin'?
Fly: I do know what you're saying. And I agree. It is a test-- a test that they won't pass, just like any other team that's presented themselves as a threat to the Dream Team.
Orbit: This Denise D'Evil chick though, she, uh... she high, or what?
Fly: Man, she's higher than YOU.
Orbit narrows his eyes.
Fly: But seriously... come on. Immortality? This is stuff out of children's books. I don't know if this is part of her, you know, "gimmick" as a wrestler, or if she actually believes she's immortal and been alive for centuries or however long-- either way, it's fairy tale stuff. No basis in reality. Maybe that's comforting to her. Maybe her real life is so dull and boring that creating a fantasy world where she's some kind of everlasting knobslopper is more interesting.
Orbit busts out laughing.
Fly: Really, though. And Night Rider...
Orbit starts humming the "Night Rider" theme from the 80s.
Fly: No. Night Rider the wrestler.
Orbit: I know. He's ridin' around with KITT. You didn't see that shit?
Fly: I... guess not.
Orbit: It's pretty cool. Maybe we should put KITT on the line in this match. I wouldn't mind having a ride like that. Have to put some 20s on it though. And some... you know, alligator seats and shit.
Fly: ANYWAY. About the wrestler, Night Rider.
Orbit: I don't know, man. He seems like an alright guy. A square, but he's alright. He's in love with Denise. That's really... nice. I'm happy for him. Happy for THEM. Unfortunately, my congratulations is comin' in the form of a mother fuckin' Pimp Slap. Hopefully I can line both of 'em up and do 'em both at the same time, WHAP WHAP.
Fly: Oh yeah. Relationships in pro wrestling. Those ALWAYS WORK OUT.
Fly rolls his eyes.
Orbit: One thing I found funny, is that people are wondering if me and you are gonna get along. If we gonna fall apart. If we trust each other.
Fly and Orbit look at each other for a moment, and then both bust out laughing.
Orbit: I don't trust this mother fucker at all!
Fly: We have so much underlying hate for each other!
They keep laughing. After a few moments, Orbit wipes tears from his eyes. From laughing so hard.
Orbit: Oh, man. Of course we don't trust each other. That's fine. In this business, you ain't supposed to trust nobody. It's a mutual understanding. Now that we both in Pantheon, our interests are the same. If I do well, Fly does well. If Fly does well, I do well. That's the way it go.
Fly: Exactly. We don't even have to like each other at all.
Orbit glares at Fly.
Fly: I'm not saying I don't like you, man.
Orbit: What was all that "I'm sorry" sing-a-long bullshit on Slam?
Fly: I said that's not what I meant--
Orbit: Whatever, man. Whatever. Anyway, the point is-- this week, we both wanna win. When Jonny Fly and Steve Orbit want to win, they win. Why? Because when the bell rings, all the feelings and bullshit goes out the window and we just do what we do.
Fly: And what we do, is wrestle better than anybody else in this company-- or any other. The Dream Team picks up another victory this week.
Orbit: Y'all can bet on that.
Orbit puts his fist out and Fly pounds it. They look at the camera one last time, before getting up and presumably heading back out to the gym. With that, we fade out.
