Ring of Fire(d)?? (Payback RP)
Jan 24, 2014 2:54:25 GMT -5
Logan, Chelsea Armstrong, and 3 more like this
Post by Mr. Jack Happy on Jan 24, 2014 2:54:25 GMT -5
"Each one's work will become manifest, for the day will show it up, because it will be revealed by means of fire; and the fire itself will prove what sort of work each one's is." 1 Corinthians 3:13.
(Our camera fades in once more to the mysterious stretch of western territory known simply as 'The Badlands.' This time, however, we see Mr. Unhappy and his managerial protege The Hangman, sitting atop a horse drawn wagon. Though it is night, we hear a loud crackling of fire and see the light surrounding the two figures. The Hangman is playing his harmonica. The song? A classic by the late Johnny Cash, 'Ring of Fire.' Quite eerie that such a beautiful song is being played by such a rotten bastard and it even brings a halfhearted sneer to a man once known for his radiant countenance. However, as he sees the camera focusing in on him, he replaces the sneer with furrowed eyebrows and grimaced disdain before speaking...)
"Well, it seems that Seth has decided in his INFINITE wisdom to put me in a match. Wonderful. Fan-fucking-tastic. Yet, what kind of match? Oooh, there's an ambulance one....no, that's not me. Oooh, maybe it's a ladder match! Nope...thank God. Wow, look at all those title matches, I just know that even though I'm not in one, it's going to have some kind of unique and jaw-dropping stipulation no doubt! I mean, this is PAYBACK, this is a pay-per-view. I mean, it's not like he's just going to have a.....
(Jack begins to smile once more. His eyes even yield a lying sense of wonderment, only to be replaced with an angering visage that molests his face with hateful decadence.)
"A damn yawnfest of a match. Once more I say to you Seth, 'Don't do me any fucking favors you waste of space.' The problem with you is that you're breathing and taking up oxygen that people far better than you NEED. I'd ask you to die, but then you'd be getting buried and taking up space yet again. Cremation? Why waste the urn? No matter what happens to you, you're bound and determined to make people miserable and, last I checked, THAT'S MY FUCKING JOB SO WAY TO GO AGAIN YOU LAZY BASTARD!"
"Seth, I'm going to do YOUR job and guess what? I'm going to do it better than you. You're welcome. Hell, they should give me a portion of YOUR check since I'm having to CARRY you through this yet again. How so? You're going to have to be patient and just wait for it. After all, I have to address Chelsea. Can't forget her now can we? Oh wait, you TRIED already with that oversight of a match."
"Chelsea, it seems that you're 'fighting back' against the system that has held you down for far too long. That's something to be proud of right? You're taking a stand and doing this on your OWN TERM-wait. What's that? You JOINED a faction? Chelsea, you're not fighting back when you join a faction. Do you know what you're doing? All you're doing is bowing down to different masters. Hell, you've become their cattle and they've BRANDED you with their faction name. Congrats, you're a walking, talking, polished heffer!. In a few months, they'll dispose of you and you'll make for a great hamburger. YUM!"
"Chelsea, when a bad situation presents itself, you turn to a family member or even a trusted friend. You...you do have friends right? No? Well, it's a good thing you have Seifer to....yeahhh, your situation did look bleak, I gotta admit. However, you still had choices. You still could've found your true calling. Hell, I've been nothing but beaten down by the WCF and all I did was turn to this abomination of a man to help me realize that I was going about things all wrong. I had to stop being what everyone wanted and I had to start being what NO ONE wanted because NO ONE matters, BUT ME."
(The Hangman stops playing long enough to flatly reply...)
You're welcome, sumbitch."
(Jack briefly turns in his direction to tip his cowboy hat respectfully at his manager before resuming.)
"Do you see this chain that I'm wearing, Chelsea? It recently got a few pieces added to the links. There's an Indian feather for Jeff Purse because his Indian chasing days are behind him. There's a few strands of hair from Cormack's beard that I tore off of him during my triple threat match, and HEY, there's a black swatch from Chase's vest. Much like winning, this piece of his clothing didn't want anything to do with him. Wow, it's amazing that there are still jokes involving Chase and his wrestling career, but that's neither here nor there."
"I'm mentioning this chain because I have an idea that I'm sure you can't say no to. It involves our match. You see, Seth could only half-ass our encounter because he never really was all that bright. Instead, I want to up the stakes. I want this match to bring out the best in you, which I know still isn't saying all that much, but it would definitely be an improvement over what you would've brought with our original hum-drum affair. And, yes, I alluded to you and the word affair in the same sentence. With Seifer as your husband, I'm sure that you've had to resort to affairs A LOT and that's possibly yet ANOTHER reason why you got branded by a bunch of men. And the masses think I have issues. Will someone please return Chelsea to her unnatural, upright position?"
"So here's the deal: I'm going to put my career up on the line. And why not? It's not like Seth likes me being here in the first place. They're already trying to fire me over my WEIGHT. Of course, I could pursue legal action and take all four dollars and forty-five cents that Seth earned this month, but why bother? Instead, this match becomes an instant HEAD-LINER. This match becomes main-event status with the stakes so high. And why would you say no to that? Everyone in the back is doing just like they did at ONE when I went up against Jeff Purse and they're betting against me. You're the wrestler with SO MUCH to prove and you simply CANNOT LOSE Chelsea! You're so extreme and you've got this new faction that you're a part of now, and you're so new and improved with crystals and everything!!!!!!!! NO ONE wants me here and just think of the notch you could put on your career instead of the notch you put on your headboard when Seifer is out of town. This could make you a contender for a title, some bright and shiny bauble that just screams out, 'Hey, notice me! I'm super duper special and I belong here because this is something that Seth created one day when he wasn't running into a wall and it means I'm somebody...just like me belonging to a faction that is only interested in 'my best interests' and I'm good now, UNH-HUNH!!!!!!!!!!!!!'"
(Jack nods his head emphatically and tries to his best to put on an excited face, only for him to stop midway through and roll his eyes in disgust.)
"Of course, Chelsea, it wouldn't make for THE REAL MAIN EVENT if YOU didn't have something to lose as well. So let's see....I KNOW! Should I be victorious, should I do the IMPOSSIBLE and the UNHEARD OF by going against POPULAR, UNANIMOUS BELIEF, and get my hand raised in victory I want a few things. First, I want to shave that beautiful head of yours. It's okay, it'll grow back. And you'd remind me a little bit of Britney when she was at her lowest. In all of your misery, you'd be downright beautiful to me. I'd almost get excited seeing you like that...okay, moment's over. Now, I know you wouldn't want to go around all bald and stuff, so, while you're growing your hair back you could wear this UnHappy mask I made JUST FOR YOU...for 30 days. And see there? It's got sewn-in dreadlocks too! You'd have some consolation via false hair to go along with your false sense of acceptance into S-Pac. Oh, and the last thing I would want? See, the hair and the mask...those are temporary things. The last thing I would want is to give YOU my own SPECIAL brand. S-Pac, they figuratively branded you, but I want to LITERALLY put a tattoo on YOU. You can wear something over it, I don't care. However, you could NEVER have it removed or covered-up by another tattoo artist."
"So what do you say, Chelsea? On one hand, my career could be over and done. All you'd have to do is WIN. You win and the WCF lives happily ever after. THE END. Yet, should you somehow fall to me....should you somehow LOSE to a fat clown that has no friends at all in the back, then you would add onto my chain of misery, and you and I would share a bond that would last a lifetime (not to be confused with your marriage to Seifer that will be over in the next 3-5 years tops). Though you have the nickname 'The Dream Ender,' I would be the one shattering your REALITY and changing you into a better person in spite of yourself. I can do that you know. I can change people. It's one of my many talents."
"Now, back to you, Seth. I've already made this match A LOT MORE INTERESTING THAN YOU EVER COULD. However, I do understand that there's a lot of working parts to Chelsea. On one hand there's Seifer, on the other hand, there's her masters, S-Pac, then there's Logan, and still another with Stacy Robinson. Damn, you get around don't you Chelsea? Anyways, I added one final element to this whole equation. I went on ahead and I bought every front-row seat!!!! I want everyone in the WCF at ringside. I want you all to watch your beloved Chelsea...the one you'd put your money on, fight ME. And when she loses...and she WILL lose...I want everyone to watch the post-match humiliation begin. I want you ALL to share in the misery of the moment, and I want to sneer into each and every one of your pathetic faces because MISERY LOVES COMPANY!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Chelsea, when we fight at Payback, I want you to look at everyone there that has put so much misguided faith in you. I not only want you to feel the undeniable burden from the pressure of the moment, I want you to also feel very uncomfortable. Once more, people that care about you have put their trust in you and once more you WILL let them down because that's all you know how to do. From your farce of a marriage to the sham that is your career, I will take you to a new depth, an all-time low, and every day you'll remember that I did this to you, I changed you for the better and for the worse because only I can. Not Seifer, not S-Pac, not even the all-powerful Seth Lerch himself can transmogrify you...that power is ALL MINE. I'd ask if you accept, but I know you have to. I can't wait to measure how you FEEL about it though. Will you be angry? Indifferent? Jovial? Or will you do as I've been telling people since this past week and that is for you to...GET DOWN WITH THE FROWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(Jack leans back in the wagon, tipping his hat down as if to go to sleep. The Hangman momentarily plays, "Sleep Now in the Fire" on the harmonica before stopping to stare blankly into the camera. The scene fades out.)
(Our camera fades in once more to the mysterious stretch of western territory known simply as 'The Badlands.' This time, however, we see Mr. Unhappy and his managerial protege The Hangman, sitting atop a horse drawn wagon. Though it is night, we hear a loud crackling of fire and see the light surrounding the two figures. The Hangman is playing his harmonica. The song? A classic by the late Johnny Cash, 'Ring of Fire.' Quite eerie that such a beautiful song is being played by such a rotten bastard and it even brings a halfhearted sneer to a man once known for his radiant countenance. However, as he sees the camera focusing in on him, he replaces the sneer with furrowed eyebrows and grimaced disdain before speaking...)
"Well, it seems that Seth has decided in his INFINITE wisdom to put me in a match. Wonderful. Fan-fucking-tastic. Yet, what kind of match? Oooh, there's an ambulance one....no, that's not me. Oooh, maybe it's a ladder match! Nope...thank God. Wow, look at all those title matches, I just know that even though I'm not in one, it's going to have some kind of unique and jaw-dropping stipulation no doubt! I mean, this is PAYBACK, this is a pay-per-view. I mean, it's not like he's just going to have a.....
(Jack begins to smile once more. His eyes even yield a lying sense of wonderment, only to be replaced with an angering visage that molests his face with hateful decadence.)
"A damn yawnfest of a match. Once more I say to you Seth, 'Don't do me any fucking favors you waste of space.' The problem with you is that you're breathing and taking up oxygen that people far better than you NEED. I'd ask you to die, but then you'd be getting buried and taking up space yet again. Cremation? Why waste the urn? No matter what happens to you, you're bound and determined to make people miserable and, last I checked, THAT'S MY FUCKING JOB SO WAY TO GO AGAIN YOU LAZY BASTARD!"
"Seth, I'm going to do YOUR job and guess what? I'm going to do it better than you. You're welcome. Hell, they should give me a portion of YOUR check since I'm having to CARRY you through this yet again. How so? You're going to have to be patient and just wait for it. After all, I have to address Chelsea. Can't forget her now can we? Oh wait, you TRIED already with that oversight of a match."
"Chelsea, it seems that you're 'fighting back' against the system that has held you down for far too long. That's something to be proud of right? You're taking a stand and doing this on your OWN TERM-wait. What's that? You JOINED a faction? Chelsea, you're not fighting back when you join a faction. Do you know what you're doing? All you're doing is bowing down to different masters. Hell, you've become their cattle and they've BRANDED you with their faction name. Congrats, you're a walking, talking, polished heffer!. In a few months, they'll dispose of you and you'll make for a great hamburger. YUM!"
"Chelsea, when a bad situation presents itself, you turn to a family member or even a trusted friend. You...you do have friends right? No? Well, it's a good thing you have Seifer to....yeahhh, your situation did look bleak, I gotta admit. However, you still had choices. You still could've found your true calling. Hell, I've been nothing but beaten down by the WCF and all I did was turn to this abomination of a man to help me realize that I was going about things all wrong. I had to stop being what everyone wanted and I had to start being what NO ONE wanted because NO ONE matters, BUT ME."
(The Hangman stops playing long enough to flatly reply...)
You're welcome, sumbitch."
(Jack briefly turns in his direction to tip his cowboy hat respectfully at his manager before resuming.)
"Do you see this chain that I'm wearing, Chelsea? It recently got a few pieces added to the links. There's an Indian feather for Jeff Purse because his Indian chasing days are behind him. There's a few strands of hair from Cormack's beard that I tore off of him during my triple threat match, and HEY, there's a black swatch from Chase's vest. Much like winning, this piece of his clothing didn't want anything to do with him. Wow, it's amazing that there are still jokes involving Chase and his wrestling career, but that's neither here nor there."
"I'm mentioning this chain because I have an idea that I'm sure you can't say no to. It involves our match. You see, Seth could only half-ass our encounter because he never really was all that bright. Instead, I want to up the stakes. I want this match to bring out the best in you, which I know still isn't saying all that much, but it would definitely be an improvement over what you would've brought with our original hum-drum affair. And, yes, I alluded to you and the word affair in the same sentence. With Seifer as your husband, I'm sure that you've had to resort to affairs A LOT and that's possibly yet ANOTHER reason why you got branded by a bunch of men. And the masses think I have issues. Will someone please return Chelsea to her unnatural, upright position?"
"So here's the deal: I'm going to put my career up on the line. And why not? It's not like Seth likes me being here in the first place. They're already trying to fire me over my WEIGHT. Of course, I could pursue legal action and take all four dollars and forty-five cents that Seth earned this month, but why bother? Instead, this match becomes an instant HEAD-LINER. This match becomes main-event status with the stakes so high. And why would you say no to that? Everyone in the back is doing just like they did at ONE when I went up against Jeff Purse and they're betting against me. You're the wrestler with SO MUCH to prove and you simply CANNOT LOSE Chelsea! You're so extreme and you've got this new faction that you're a part of now, and you're so new and improved with crystals and everything!!!!!!!! NO ONE wants me here and just think of the notch you could put on your career instead of the notch you put on your headboard when Seifer is out of town. This could make you a contender for a title, some bright and shiny bauble that just screams out, 'Hey, notice me! I'm super duper special and I belong here because this is something that Seth created one day when he wasn't running into a wall and it means I'm somebody...just like me belonging to a faction that is only interested in 'my best interests' and I'm good now, UNH-HUNH!!!!!!!!!!!!!'"
(Jack nods his head emphatically and tries to his best to put on an excited face, only for him to stop midway through and roll his eyes in disgust.)
"Of course, Chelsea, it wouldn't make for THE REAL MAIN EVENT if YOU didn't have something to lose as well. So let's see....I KNOW! Should I be victorious, should I do the IMPOSSIBLE and the UNHEARD OF by going against POPULAR, UNANIMOUS BELIEF, and get my hand raised in victory I want a few things. First, I want to shave that beautiful head of yours. It's okay, it'll grow back. And you'd remind me a little bit of Britney when she was at her lowest. In all of your misery, you'd be downright beautiful to me. I'd almost get excited seeing you like that...okay, moment's over. Now, I know you wouldn't want to go around all bald and stuff, so, while you're growing your hair back you could wear this UnHappy mask I made JUST FOR YOU...for 30 days. And see there? It's got sewn-in dreadlocks too! You'd have some consolation via false hair to go along with your false sense of acceptance into S-Pac. Oh, and the last thing I would want? See, the hair and the mask...those are temporary things. The last thing I would want is to give YOU my own SPECIAL brand. S-Pac, they figuratively branded you, but I want to LITERALLY put a tattoo on YOU. You can wear something over it, I don't care. However, you could NEVER have it removed or covered-up by another tattoo artist."
"So what do you say, Chelsea? On one hand, my career could be over and done. All you'd have to do is WIN. You win and the WCF lives happily ever after. THE END. Yet, should you somehow fall to me....should you somehow LOSE to a fat clown that has no friends at all in the back, then you would add onto my chain of misery, and you and I would share a bond that would last a lifetime (not to be confused with your marriage to Seifer that will be over in the next 3-5 years tops). Though you have the nickname 'The Dream Ender,' I would be the one shattering your REALITY and changing you into a better person in spite of yourself. I can do that you know. I can change people. It's one of my many talents."
"Now, back to you, Seth. I've already made this match A LOT MORE INTERESTING THAN YOU EVER COULD. However, I do understand that there's a lot of working parts to Chelsea. On one hand there's Seifer, on the other hand, there's her masters, S-Pac, then there's Logan, and still another with Stacy Robinson. Damn, you get around don't you Chelsea? Anyways, I added one final element to this whole equation. I went on ahead and I bought every front-row seat!!!! I want everyone in the WCF at ringside. I want you all to watch your beloved Chelsea...the one you'd put your money on, fight ME. And when she loses...and she WILL lose...I want everyone to watch the post-match humiliation begin. I want you ALL to share in the misery of the moment, and I want to sneer into each and every one of your pathetic faces because MISERY LOVES COMPANY!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Chelsea, when we fight at Payback, I want you to look at everyone there that has put so much misguided faith in you. I not only want you to feel the undeniable burden from the pressure of the moment, I want you to also feel very uncomfortable. Once more, people that care about you have put their trust in you and once more you WILL let them down because that's all you know how to do. From your farce of a marriage to the sham that is your career, I will take you to a new depth, an all-time low, and every day you'll remember that I did this to you, I changed you for the better and for the worse because only I can. Not Seifer, not S-Pac, not even the all-powerful Seth Lerch himself can transmogrify you...that power is ALL MINE. I'd ask if you accept, but I know you have to. I can't wait to measure how you FEEL about it though. Will you be angry? Indifferent? Jovial? Or will you do as I've been telling people since this past week and that is for you to...GET DOWN WITH THE FROWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(Jack leans back in the wagon, tipping his hat down as if to go to sleep. The Hangman momentarily plays, "Sleep Now in the Fire" on the harmonica before stopping to stare blankly into the camera. The scene fades out.)
