Attack of the Killer Newbies

[Oblivion]

chees·y (chze)
adj. chees·i·er, chees·i·est
1. Containing or resembling cheese.
2. Informal Of poor quality; shoddy.

cheesi·ly adv.
cheesi·ness n.

3. Informal (of a smile) broad but possibly insincere a big cheesy grin
4. Informal banal or trite; in poor taste

cheap (chp)
adj. cheap·er, cheap·est
1. Relatively low; comparatively inexpensive.
2. Obtainable at a low rate of interest. Devalued.
3. Achieved with little effort: a cheap victory; cheap laughs.
4. Of or considered of small value.
5. Of poor quality; inferior.
6. Worthy of no respect; vulgar or contemptible.

Narration: An infestation has taken over Wrestling Championship Federation. There is an influx of new and unfamiliar faces inside the boundaries of WCF!! Like scattering cockroaches, these disease infested parasites have no business inside this great company. But yet, here they are. Those bleeding heart Liberals will say everyone has the right to pursue their individual rights to happiness. Just like church mice, the rest of WCF, keep quiet. Oh, there are some that have their opinions on these unwelcomed guests. But, it's not enough. It looks like it's gonna take just one man to get the job done. The job? To teach these unappreciated ingrates that they will have to suffer to get by in WCF. They will have to put up an undetermined amount of blood, sweat, and tears to get anywhere in WCF. There was a time that all you had to do was either be a friend of anyone associated with WCF or pay your way through, all the way to the top of the mountain and become World Heavyweight Champion. But, now the floodgates have opened up....

STOMP-STOMP-STOMP-STOMP-STOMP-STOMP-STOMP!!!

~._-*The sounds of several feet marching in unison, echoes out. You look about and you see nothing. A blinding, searing white light overcomes your sight. Your hands reach out, as if trying to look with your hands. Your skin feels as if it were on fire. Reddening, slowly blistering in the hot demanding sun.*-_.~

A voice: AHHH-H-H-H!! It hurts!! IT HUR-UR-URTTSS-S!! MY SKIN!! MY SKIN!! IT HUR-URTS!!

~._-*You open your eyes and it seems You are now in the middle of God knows where. You peer around and You see nothing but hot blistering sand. The sand goes on for miles. Not one oasis. Not one palm tree. Not a God damn thing!! You look down and you see you're wearing rags, for clothing.*-_.~

A voice: WHAT THE HELL!!

~._-*It now seems that it doesn't really truly matter that The Darkness is nonexistent. You are now in a more excruciating Hell. With the medications flowing through your body, the voices have stopped. But, why is Oblivion still in existence? The Monster was supposed to the physical being to Stephan Johnson's psychosis. With the psyche medications controlling the psychosis, why the need for Oblivion to be around. Is the Monster more than the mental sickness itself? There has to be a reason that Oblivion is still around. Does Stephan Johnson feel the need to keep Oblivion around? But, it's not up to Stephan. If Oblivion appearance was the result of Stephan's mental breakdown and if Stephan is taking the required psych medications, then why is Oblivion still around?

The more and more You try to move, the slower your movements became. The quicker You try to move, the more You seem to be stuck. As if, stuck in quicksand. But, there is NO quicksand. THERE IS NO SPOON. Are we all in control of our own destiny? If that is true, then Oblivion's existence IS necessary. The Monster represents that EXTRA inner strength that Stephan needs. But, with this current situation, what is the explanation of getting stuck in the blistering hot sand.*-_.~

A voice: How did I get here? What is the explanation for all of this?

~._-*A noise snaps You back into reality, as You look up and You see in the cloudless blistering sky, three rotating flyers.*-_.~

A voice: Is this it?! Is this how everything ends?! Here in what I'm assuming is a desert?

~._-*The screeching gets louder, as the three rotating flyers are getting lower. You look closer to the flyers and You seem to recognize something. Is it the hot sun? Is the hot blistering sun causing You to have hallucinations? The three swooping flyers seem to look like flying darkness Dwellers.*-_.~

A voice: But, that is impossible.

~._-*The screeching swooping flyers are getting closer. The sun is getting brighter and hotter. Your head begins to swim and You begin to feel light headed. You look down, in the sand and You see what looks like a blistering beetle. You slowly pick it up and...*-_.~

SQUIR-UIR-UIRTT-T-T!!!

~._-*The blistering beetle exudes a liquid from its joints and it lands in your eyes.*-_.~

A voice: AHHH-H-H-H!! It hurts!! IT HUR-UR-URTTSS-S!! MY EYES!! MY EYES!! IT HUR-URTS!!

~._-*You proceed to drop the beetle. But, the beetle lands on your shoulder. It slowly crawls up to your ear. you hear a buzzing sound. But, that changes when You hear a voice...*-_.~

A voice: PSST!! HEY YOU!! OPEN YOUR EYES!! JUST OPEN YOUR EYES!! OPEN... YOUR GOD... DAMN... EYES!!

~._-*You proceed to open your eyes and the blistering heat disappears. You see across from You is complete static. you look to your right and You see a television remote with a yellow sticky note on it that says... PICK ME UP AND HIT ON. that is what You do. you pick up the television remote and turn on the television.*-_.~

...···STATIC···...

CLICK

~._-*A blue screen appears and you see a small menu.*-_.~

TV
COMP
AV
HDMI1
HDMI2
RGB

~._-*You click on TV. What appears in front of you is a commercial. A grown man and what would be assumed to be his son has a bag of chips in a bowl and they are putting and orange crunchy curl into a slingshot and aiming it at a bending over butt.*-_.~

FLING-FWAPP!!

Female voice: AH-H-H UGH!! DAMN IT GUYS!! KNOCK IT OFF!! GROW UP!!

~._-*They turn to their right and they see a cartoon orange cheetah.*-_.~

Chester Cheetah: IT AIN'T EASY... BEING CHEESY!!

CLICK

~._-*You see another commercial with a box of CHEEZ-ITS wearing a super hero costume being short tempered. The observing technician write something down on a sticky note and places it on the box.*-_.~

CHEEZ-ITS BOX: HOW DARE YOU!! I AM MORE THAN READY!! TA-A-AKE THAT!!

~._-*Without asking any questions, the CHEEZ-IT box struck first. On the box, the sticky note says... NOT READY.*-_.~

CLICK

CLICK

CLICK

~._-*A nearby desk chair spins around. The Monster Oblivion sits there, with IT's arms crossed.*-_.~

Oblivion: It all starts with one... Matthew Robinson. The Monster is about to start on a campaign against these invading newcomers. You little bitches are coming in here looking for what... A HAND OUT?! What wasn't the grass greener on the other side? What?! Your other past wrestling endeavors failed? So, now you come into WCF. Expecting everything being handed to you, as if you newbie bitches deserve it!! Here in WCF, you have to put your work in. Everything you get, you have to earn!! you hear that... MATTHEW ROBINSON. You call yourself The Punisher, as if the comic book character is supposed to strike fear into everyone!! That is not gonna happen. Hell, your lovely.... mm-mmm-mm lovely wife Stacy, a delicious dish is more intimidating than you are. Ask around, Matty... keep your girl close or she will end up being missing. you wouldn't want that would you, Matthew?! Of course you don't. So, you're gonna do this. You're gonna shut the Hell up and be a good little bitch and take your ass-whooping like a big boy!!

Yes, IT knows the expression... talk is cheap. But, once The Monster Oblivion say IT is gonna do something... IT DOES IT!! You hear Oblivion, Matthew Robinson. IT chose you first, to start IT's campaign against you pathetic newbies. You think you little bitches can come in here and take over? NO WAY!! NO WAY IN HELL!! We here in WCF have established ourselves and we don't want your kind coming in here and disrupting things!! YOU HEAR THE MONSTER?!

~._-*Oblivion bends over, while sitting. IT picks up ITs head, shaking IT's head slowly. Oblivion swipes at IT's nose. The room wobbles, as if it was stuck inside a jar of jam or jelly. The Monster stands up and slowly walks over to a door and walks outside. Immediately... EVERYTHING CHANGES. All the colors have changed monochromatic. Everything is blurred together. The people outside are walking backwards, as if everything is stuck in a reverse real.*-_.~

Man #1: Gnivah er'ew yad ecin!! Od uoy od woh?

Man #2: Si ti sey!! Sdik dna efiw eht s'woh?

~._-*You swipe your nose, once again and you see multicolored blurry surroundings, as if back in the 1950's. Children riding their bicycles. People walking their dogs. Men shaking hands with other men. But... BACKWARDS. You slowly walk out the door and immediately people notice. You're not bothered by their sorts. You continue to walk around, looking around as if everything is brand new to you.*-_.~

Boy: Rellef 'nikool egnarts a si taht!! WOW!!

~._-*You slowly begin to lose your balance, so you put your hand on a black street post. You gain your balance and you remove your hand away from the post and your hand is covered in a sticky brown substance. You proceed to smell your hand and immediately You face cringes. You continue to walk as people move out of your way. you walk up to a corner grocer. you pick up an apple and slowly look at it. You put it back down and you see your hand covered in a brown sticky substance. you, once again, smell the substance. Your face cringes in disgust and disbelief. With every few steps, You stop and either place your hand onto something or pick something up and the same result happens... BROWN STICKY SUBSTANCE. you begin to panic, as sweat drips heavily down your brow. your heart is pounding and the entire town is staring at you...*-_.~

PELT!!

Voice: OW-w-w!!

Man #1: MONSTER!! GO AWAY!! WE DON'T LIKE YOUR KIND AROUND THESE PARTS!!

PELT-PELT-PELT-PELT!!

Man #2: GO AWAY!! WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE!!

~._-*You look down at your hand, that is covered in a brown sticky substance.*-_.~

Voice: WHY DOES EVERYTHING SMELL LIKE SHIT?!

~._-*The surrounding area wobbles. You pick your head up and look down at your folded arms, laying on a table. Your arms are covered in white powder. Pill bottles thrown everywhere and pills are on the table. Half smoke joints are in the ashtray, next to you. An empty box and 24 empty beer cans are on the floor, along with three empty whiskey bottles. You look up and see static on the television. You turn to your right, after swiping your nose, You look at the camera, being held by The Pet. The Vixens are all huddle together, naked, spent and apparently sticky. The Gathering are nowhere to be found. you try to concentrate on the flashing blinking red light.*-_.~

Oblivion: Matthew Robinson, this Sunday night at One, The Monster is going to teach you a few things in respect. IT WILL BEAT IT OUT OF YOU!! You understand IT? Once, IT decimates you... OBLIVION IS GOING AFTER STACY!! Prep her well, Matty. Oblivion doesn't play well with others. In fact, The Monster plays rough. In the ring, you will find that out!! then your lovely wife will also find out!! Yeah... yeah. I know!! Cheap. but, it gets the point across. Do you realize who you are dealing with?! IT is not called The Monster for nothing. If you proceed and believe in the propaganda of the Meatsacks, you will be in BI-I-IGG-G-G trouble!! This is the big night for WCF!! This is ONE!! THE BIGGEST PAY PER VIEW OF THE YEAR and you are facing The Monster.... The God of Insanity.... The God of Hardcore.... OBLIVION!! Kid, it's not all hype!! Oblivion is the real deal!! You will bruise!! Will get banged up!! Most importantly, you... WILL BLEED!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? DO YOU REALLY? Because, IT has this feeling that you don't!! Is it because you are stupid, soft in the head?

You are about to get fucked up inside that ring!! No more head games. THIS IS REALITY!! So, kiss your lovely wife goodbye, because after our match... YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!! And with that.... YOU CAN JUST CHO...

WHAMMM!!

~._-*The vision of The Monster falls away, as your vision falls back. the viewpoint is at an angle. The Monster walks up to the sideways camera...*-_.~

Oblivion: THIS SUNDAY AT ONE, MATTHEW ROBINSON... YOUR LIFE CHANGES FOREVER!!

~._-*Oblivion's big black boot comes crashing down onto the camera. The scene slowly fades out into static...*-_.~