Lilith And Shelley's Christmas Adventure (Part 1)
Dec 5, 2013 18:25:25 GMT -5
Logan and raYne like this
Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2013 18:25:25 GMT -5
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
-George Carlin
"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
-Erma Bombeck
"Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip."
-Gary Allan
Lilith And Shelley's Christmas Adventure (Part 1)
Lilith and Shelley had been in Logans hotel room now for what seemed like an eternity, when in actual fact it had been more like 2 hours. Logan had told Lilith that she wasn’t allowed to go outside because if she did someone would take Shelley away, she wasn’t about to let that happen. Luckily Lilith had brought her teddy bears with her, putting some makeup onto some of the plain ones and giving them a new character. For the past couple of hours Lilith had been playing with her bears and she had eventually decided that she would let Shelley play with one, despite the fact that she was a smelly little baby thing.
Lilith: Alright Shelley, I’ll let you play with this one. But only if you’re good okay! If you suck at playing with my bears, I will take it away. Do you understand?
Shelley made some weird gurgling noises which Lilith took as her agreeing. She passed Shelley the new bear which had black and white makeup all over his fur.
Lilith: You’re very lucky Shelley, you get to play with the newest member of the teddy bear gang, I call him Seifer Bear. He looks a bit stupid though doesn’t he?
Shelley grabbed his little paw and began to hit his head into the floor. Lilith burst out laughing as she continued to watch Shelley attack the Seifer Bear.
Lilith: Hey Logan! Quick come in here, this is hilarious!
Logan came into the room only wearing a towel, he had just come out of the shower and his hair was still soaking wet. He sat down on the bed next to Lilith, crossing his legs provocatively as Lilith just rolled her eyes at him and turned her attention back onto Shelley.
Logan: What’s going on in here babygurl? Why does that thing have one of your bears?
Lilith: We were bored so I let her play with one of them. It’s pretty funny too, look at how she’s handling Seifer Bear!
Logan: Seifer Bear?
Lilith: Oh… yeah. See it’s got the same makeup and everything. All it needs now is a strong case of dementia and it would be perfect!
Shelley: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Shelley suddenly burst out crying throwing her Seifer Bear across the room and falling onto her back. Lilith looked at the Seifer Bear, back at Shelley and then burst out laughing.
Lilith: Hahahaha oh my god, this girl is an amazing actress! Someone give her a cookie! I swear for a second there I thought that that was the real Seifer! She had the dramatic over acting down to a tee hahaha!
Lilith leant over to the nearby table and picked up a cookie, she threw the cookie across the room and hit Shelley dead in her face. This just made Shelley cry even more as she flung her arms and legs around pushing the cookie away. Lilith saw this as Shelley not approving of the type of cookies Logan bought and took a look at the packaging.
Lilith: Wal-Mart own?! WAL-MART OWN?!!! Logan what part of get some decent cookies didn’t you understand! I mean I send you out to get some cookies and you come back with this! Look now you’ve made Shelley cry! You should apologise to her!
Logan: But babygurl…
Lilith: APOLOGISE TO HER!!!
Logan: Okay fine, boudle-baby… I’m sorry.
Lilith: Say it like you mean it!
Logan: I did say it like I…
Lilith: SHUT UP!!! Don’t you question me! You do as I say!
Logan: Okay fine, Shelley… I’m sorry for giving you shitty cookies.
Lilith: Now hug her better!
Logan: Shut up.
Lilith: YOU SHUT UP!
Logan: SHUT UP!!!
Lilith: HUG HER!!!
Logan: No!
Lilith: That’s it! Get out! You’re no longer welcome at my picnic! GET OUT!!!
Logan shot up off of the bed acting as dramatic as he possible could, his towel falling off of him. Lilith immediately covered Shelley’s eyes as Logan dramatically walked back into the bathroom.
Lilith: I’m sorry about that Shelley, he’s turned into a bit of a boudle recently. I don’t really know what’s wrong with him. He probably misses his hat. Maybe I’ll buy him a new one for Christmas. I’m sure he’d like that.
Lilith imagined that Logan was now applying his makeup, which he obviously did to perfection as he spent a lot of time in the bathroom. He took longer to get ready than she did, this always made her laugh.
Logan: Oh by the way, I picked up boudle-babies costume from the drycleaners. You can go out now if you want, as long as you put that back onto her.
Lilith got up off the bed and walked over to the nearby wardrobe picking up the dinosaur costume she had bought for the baby girl earlier in the week.
Lilith: Did they say anything?
Logan: No, apparently they’re used to cleaning baby sick out of dinosaur costumes. Said something about not feeding her as much candy though, I wouldn’t pay too much attention to that… the girl in the shop seemed like a bit of a boudle, didn’t even show me her cans.
Lilith: Stop feeding her so much candy? Why? I thought babies loved candy?!
Logan: Well apparently, you aren’t supposed to feed them on nothing but candy. I think that’s a bunch of lies though if you ask me.
Lilith: But… didn’t you see her sick? It was all colourful! It looked like a rainbow! I’ve never seen anyone be able to do that before, it was pretty impressive!
Logan: Did you… taste the rainbow, babygurl?
Lilith: What?!
Logan: Did you taste the rainbow? You know… her sick.
Lilith: WHAT?! No! That’s disgusting! Ewwwwwwww!
Lilith was now attempting to put the dinosaur costume back onto Shelley and having a very hard job of doing so. The baby girl was still crying her eyes out and throwing her arms and legs everywhere.
Logan: That boudle baby still crying?
Lilith: Yeah, I have no idea what’s wrong with her. I’ve tried everything. I tried changing her and feeding her and I even let her watch Robocop… it was on TV last night. She just won’t shut up no matter what I do! I think she might be broken Logan. Do you think we should take her back to the shop for an exchange? Maybe get another baby… preferably one who doesn’t cry so much.
Shelley (crying): …Mommyyyyyy…
Lilith looked down at Shelley as she continued to cry. Lilith looked quite confused.
Lilith: No hunny, I’m not your mommy… your mommy is… occupied elsewhere. I’m Lilith… remember? I’m the one who taught you how to do your makeup.
Shelley (still crying): …MOMMYYYYYYY!!!...
Logan: What did that boudle baby say?
Lilith: She keeps calling me Mommy, I have no idea why. I’ve told her several times that my name is Lilith. You can tell that she’s Seifers kid can’t you? She’s just as stupid as he is!
Logan: Now wait a minute babygurl… she keeps calling you Mommy? Hmmmmmm… Mommy… I saw Mommy… I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus?!
Lilith: Wait… you mean she’s upset because I haven’t taken her to see Santa yet?!
Logan: It would seem that way babygurl.
Lilith looked like she had just had one of those lightbulb moments. Her face lit up as she picked Shelley up off the table, Shelley was now dressed in her dinosaur costume. So of course her name was now Dino-Shelley.
Lilith: Of course! How could I have been so foolish! She wants to go and see Santa! I mean it is the Christmas season, right? She must have seen a Christmas commercial on TV and got herself all upset thinking that she was missing out!
Logan: Exactly!
Lilith picked Dino-Shelley up and threw her over her shoulder, she was now extremely excited as she also wanted to see Santa. Dino-Shelley continued to cry on Liliths shoulder but she didn’t really mind, Lilith knew that she would soon be one very happy little dinosaur.
Lilith: Alright Logan, we’re going to go see Santa then! Don’t be too long in there, remember you’re taking me out to dinner tonight. You promised me the best hotdogs in town. Do you want me to pick out sometime sexy whilst I’m out?
Logan: Nah, it’s alright… I look good enough already thanks.
Lilith: Okay good, well I’ll see you later Logan.
Logan: Have fun babygurl.
Lilith and Dino-Shelley left the hotel room, slamming the door behind them. They were on their way to see Santa and for the first time since she got her, Lilith didn’t care that Shelley wouldn’t shut up crying.
-George Carlin
"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
-Erma Bombeck
"Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip."
-Gary Allan
Lilith And Shelley's Christmas Adventure (Part 1)
Lilith and Shelley had been in Logans hotel room now for what seemed like an eternity, when in actual fact it had been more like 2 hours. Logan had told Lilith that she wasn’t allowed to go outside because if she did someone would take Shelley away, she wasn’t about to let that happen. Luckily Lilith had brought her teddy bears with her, putting some makeup onto some of the plain ones and giving them a new character. For the past couple of hours Lilith had been playing with her bears and she had eventually decided that she would let Shelley play with one, despite the fact that she was a smelly little baby thing.
Lilith: Alright Shelley, I’ll let you play with this one. But only if you’re good okay! If you suck at playing with my bears, I will take it away. Do you understand?
Shelley made some weird gurgling noises which Lilith took as her agreeing. She passed Shelley the new bear which had black and white makeup all over his fur.
Lilith: You’re very lucky Shelley, you get to play with the newest member of the teddy bear gang, I call him Seifer Bear. He looks a bit stupid though doesn’t he?
Shelley grabbed his little paw and began to hit his head into the floor. Lilith burst out laughing as she continued to watch Shelley attack the Seifer Bear.
Lilith: Hey Logan! Quick come in here, this is hilarious!
Logan came into the room only wearing a towel, he had just come out of the shower and his hair was still soaking wet. He sat down on the bed next to Lilith, crossing his legs provocatively as Lilith just rolled her eyes at him and turned her attention back onto Shelley.
Logan: What’s going on in here babygurl? Why does that thing have one of your bears?
Lilith: We were bored so I let her play with one of them. It’s pretty funny too, look at how she’s handling Seifer Bear!
Logan: Seifer Bear?
Lilith: Oh… yeah. See it’s got the same makeup and everything. All it needs now is a strong case of dementia and it would be perfect!
Shelley: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Shelley suddenly burst out crying throwing her Seifer Bear across the room and falling onto her back. Lilith looked at the Seifer Bear, back at Shelley and then burst out laughing.
Lilith: Hahahaha oh my god, this girl is an amazing actress! Someone give her a cookie! I swear for a second there I thought that that was the real Seifer! She had the dramatic over acting down to a tee hahaha!
Lilith leant over to the nearby table and picked up a cookie, she threw the cookie across the room and hit Shelley dead in her face. This just made Shelley cry even more as she flung her arms and legs around pushing the cookie away. Lilith saw this as Shelley not approving of the type of cookies Logan bought and took a look at the packaging.
Lilith: Wal-Mart own?! WAL-MART OWN?!!! Logan what part of get some decent cookies didn’t you understand! I mean I send you out to get some cookies and you come back with this! Look now you’ve made Shelley cry! You should apologise to her!
Logan: But babygurl…
Lilith: APOLOGISE TO HER!!!
Logan: Okay fine, boudle-baby… I’m sorry.
Lilith: Say it like you mean it!
Logan: I did say it like I…
Lilith: SHUT UP!!! Don’t you question me! You do as I say!
Logan: Okay fine, Shelley… I’m sorry for giving you shitty cookies.
Lilith: Now hug her better!
Logan: Shut up.
Lilith: YOU SHUT UP!
Logan: SHUT UP!!!
Lilith: HUG HER!!!
Logan: No!
Lilith: That’s it! Get out! You’re no longer welcome at my picnic! GET OUT!!!
Logan shot up off of the bed acting as dramatic as he possible could, his towel falling off of him. Lilith immediately covered Shelley’s eyes as Logan dramatically walked back into the bathroom.
Lilith: I’m sorry about that Shelley, he’s turned into a bit of a boudle recently. I don’t really know what’s wrong with him. He probably misses his hat. Maybe I’ll buy him a new one for Christmas. I’m sure he’d like that.
Lilith imagined that Logan was now applying his makeup, which he obviously did to perfection as he spent a lot of time in the bathroom. He took longer to get ready than she did, this always made her laugh.
Logan: Oh by the way, I picked up boudle-babies costume from the drycleaners. You can go out now if you want, as long as you put that back onto her.
Lilith got up off the bed and walked over to the nearby wardrobe picking up the dinosaur costume she had bought for the baby girl earlier in the week.
Lilith: Did they say anything?
Logan: No, apparently they’re used to cleaning baby sick out of dinosaur costumes. Said something about not feeding her as much candy though, I wouldn’t pay too much attention to that… the girl in the shop seemed like a bit of a boudle, didn’t even show me her cans.
Lilith: Stop feeding her so much candy? Why? I thought babies loved candy?!
Logan: Well apparently, you aren’t supposed to feed them on nothing but candy. I think that’s a bunch of lies though if you ask me.
Lilith: But… didn’t you see her sick? It was all colourful! It looked like a rainbow! I’ve never seen anyone be able to do that before, it was pretty impressive!
Logan: Did you… taste the rainbow, babygurl?
Lilith: What?!
Logan: Did you taste the rainbow? You know… her sick.
Lilith: WHAT?! No! That’s disgusting! Ewwwwwwww!
Lilith was now attempting to put the dinosaur costume back onto Shelley and having a very hard job of doing so. The baby girl was still crying her eyes out and throwing her arms and legs everywhere.
Logan: That boudle baby still crying?
Lilith: Yeah, I have no idea what’s wrong with her. I’ve tried everything. I tried changing her and feeding her and I even let her watch Robocop… it was on TV last night. She just won’t shut up no matter what I do! I think she might be broken Logan. Do you think we should take her back to the shop for an exchange? Maybe get another baby… preferably one who doesn’t cry so much.
Shelley (crying): …Mommyyyyyy…
Lilith looked down at Shelley as she continued to cry. Lilith looked quite confused.
Lilith: No hunny, I’m not your mommy… your mommy is… occupied elsewhere. I’m Lilith… remember? I’m the one who taught you how to do your makeup.
Shelley (still crying): …MOMMYYYYYYY!!!...
Logan: What did that boudle baby say?
Lilith: She keeps calling me Mommy, I have no idea why. I’ve told her several times that my name is Lilith. You can tell that she’s Seifers kid can’t you? She’s just as stupid as he is!
Logan: Now wait a minute babygurl… she keeps calling you Mommy? Hmmmmmm… Mommy… I saw Mommy… I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus?!
Lilith: Wait… you mean she’s upset because I haven’t taken her to see Santa yet?!
Logan: It would seem that way babygurl.
Lilith looked like she had just had one of those lightbulb moments. Her face lit up as she picked Shelley up off the table, Shelley was now dressed in her dinosaur costume. So of course her name was now Dino-Shelley.
Lilith: Of course! How could I have been so foolish! She wants to go and see Santa! I mean it is the Christmas season, right? She must have seen a Christmas commercial on TV and got herself all upset thinking that she was missing out!
Logan: Exactly!
Lilith picked Dino-Shelley up and threw her over her shoulder, she was now extremely excited as she also wanted to see Santa. Dino-Shelley continued to cry on Liliths shoulder but she didn’t really mind, Lilith knew that she would soon be one very happy little dinosaur.
Lilith: Alright Logan, we’re going to go see Santa then! Don’t be too long in there, remember you’re taking me out to dinner tonight. You promised me the best hotdogs in town. Do you want me to pick out sometime sexy whilst I’m out?
Logan: Nah, it’s alright… I look good enough already thanks.
Lilith: Okay good, well I’ll see you later Logan.
Logan: Have fun babygurl.
Lilith and Dino-Shelley left the hotel room, slamming the door behind them. They were on their way to see Santa and for the first time since she got her, Lilith didn’t care that Shelley wouldn’t shut up crying.
