Post by Logan on Dec 1, 2013 7:10:14 GMT -5
Logan: I thought you were in a coma?!
Lilith: You need to keep up.
The needle punctured his skin and shot a poisonous injection into his veins. He staggered backwards grabbing at his neck, looking at Lilith, this woman he barely knew, with wide eyes. What had she injected him with? Why was everyone turning on him lately? Logan and Lilith had never been officially recognized as 'friends', 'buddies', what have you... but they had never clashed either. It was he who came to her aid after that brutal attack from Sarah Twilight, it was him who visited her in her coma and left a kiss on her forehead out of cameras sights. He didn't hate her. It wasn't love either. She just had a weird way of reminding herself of him and for one reason or another that made him feel close to this stranger, Lilith. This poisonous injection all went down in Logan's locker room. The unsuspecting Lilith made her way in like a snake ready to inject venom - and that she did - without so much of a 'Hi, Logan, how's it been?'. Logan could already feel the effects loaded up in her syringe - now unloaded into him. The light on the ceiling of the room turned into a green evil, like someone blanketed the sun with an ocean of sea weed and all that shined through was a greenish unwarming diseased hue.
Logan: Lilith...
He watched his hand travel out towards her. He reached for her arm, she showed no signs of resistance, let him weakly grasp her while he fumbled under his own weight and lost control of footing - going down to a knee next to her.
Lilith: You'll understand.
And with that he gave her one last look before his eyes rolled sideways and then back into his head - his limp body did the same - going down and dropping hard onto his back to knock one last gasp of oxygen from his lungs.
He awoke coughing out a breath of unconscious air, bringing him back to life from Lilith's induced slumber. His hand went to his neck, which no longer felt sore from the needle sting earlier. Dried leafs crunched beneath the palms of his hands as he sat up. Trees, brush, the thick of wilderness surrounded every where he turned to look. How long had he been out? He assumed Lilith brought him here, but why? A bomb of an headache ticked inside his skull, ready to explode and blow brains out of his ear holes. Whatever she have him carried a nasty headache. He'd been on drinking binges before, gone two days without a second of sleep, but even then the hangovers weren't this brutal. He crawled through the thick layers of leaves and brush, finding a tree and pressing his back against it. Why had Lilith brought him here? BOOM. His have closed eyes open to full attention, a burrito with a brick stuffed inside propelled into the tree, right next to his head, and blew off some tree bark that splintered the side of his face.
Jackbot: LOGAN!
Logan's vision was still a little blurry from the syringe hangover, but from what he could make out, Jack Happy had just thrown a brick stuffed burrito next to his head. He was probably aiming for his face. Something was off about Happy, his legs moved in a mechanical way and even produced the sound a gear makes when you grind the clutch.
Logan: Jack?
He was still having trouble trying to refocus his sight. Logan held out a hand like trying to cover your eyes from the sun, watching this strange carnation of Jack Happy approach him through spilt fingers. Jack's face was rather expressionless, only a fixed glare with furrowed brows. His skin resembled the texture of silicone. He didn't appear to be human. Nothing about him did. Nonetheless, real or not, Logan knew he was in danger, especially when Jack charged him - shoulder first - with murder in his red mechanical eyes. Logan threw himself out of the way and the Jackbot rammed the tree uprooting it from the earth and sending the massive piece of nature tumbling down through the forest.
Jackbot: We've got ourselves a playful one here don't we?
The Jackbot reached inside his oversized yellow pocket, produced another burrito, and took a massive bite from it. He chewed furiously, making awkward noises of squeaks and squeals in the process, before finally pulling the half eaten burrito from his mouth - the sharp blade of a knife sliding out from his lips where the burrito had once been.
Logan: Who puts a knife in a burrito?
Jackbot: Me.
The clown crazed bot raced towards Logan, kicking up leafs and dirt with his furious engagement. Logan pushed backwards, scrambling to his feet, only to fall back over a log and hit the dirt once more. Jackbot was right on top of him. The knife came down and Logan tilted his head to avoid the blow, though not entirely. The edge of the knife tore the side of Logan's cheek and sprayed out blood over the side of Jackbot's hand and blade. Logan grunted out with agony, rolling away from Jackbot, and scuffling up to his feet while Jackbot worked the knife out of the downed log. The seriousness of this situation settled in. This wasn't fantasy, not another pelvic thrusting block of television entertainment. He was fighting for survival here. The side of Logan's face leaked crimson down onto his neck and shoulder. The cut wasn't too deep, just enough to spurt some red. He held his hand to it either way to nurse the fresh wound.
Jackbot: You don't look so bad with a little blood on you. I quite like you this way, Logan!
Logan: Who the hell are you?
Jackbot: That's for me to know and for you to suffer finding out.
Logan wiped some blood off his cheek and slung it off onto the forest floor.
Logan: Then let's suffer.
The robotic clown smiled, stepping into Logan, pushing the blade into his direction. Logan side stepped, grabbed Jackbot's extended weapon equipped arm, and sent an elbow into the bend of Jackbot's arm forcing his hand to release his grip onto the knife. Jackbot was quick to counter, head butting the side of Logan's skull, grabbing the crook of his arm, and flipping Logan over his mechanical shoulder and hard onto his back. Once down, Jackbot shoved a boot into his throat and pressed hard. Logan struggled for air, his hands desperately fighting to push away Jackbot's boot from his caved in throat. A reflection of light, like a guardian angel enchanting a path through the darkness, gleamed into Logan's eyes. It was the knife Jackbot had dropped, now half buried by leaves, reflecting the sunlight and glimmering bright for Logan. Logan reached for the knife, gripped it hard, and drove it into the side of Jackbot's leg, and as if he could truly feel pain... the robotic creature shrieked out a howl of agony. Green hydraulic oil gushed out from the edges of the blade engulfed by his leg. It was enough to shut down his force into Logan's throat, enough to give Logan enough time to roll away. The Jackbot clown hopped around on one foot, half laughing, half screaming, trying to rip the blade from his silicone flesh. Logan felt battered at this point, struggling to his feet, watching everything unfold with confusion.
Jackbot: You hit the funny bone!
The Jackbot fell back laughing, his hands dancing over the blade in his leg while hydraulic oil squirted over staining his white gloved hands. While Logan watched on, the clown reached inside his baggy suit, pulling out another burrito. Between laughs, Jackbot chewed on the burrito, slowly bringing forth the revealment of a grenade. Logan's eyes went wide and he instantly turned to get the fuck out of dodge. The clown bite off the pin and lazily tossed the grenade into Logan's fleeing direction. The explosion crashed another tree, ripping off at it's trunk, sending pieces of hot wood and metal into the side of Logan's hip and knocking him forward off his feet. Hitting the cold muddy forest floor with a thud, Logan's body forcefully rolled, caught a down slope, and kept effortlessly flipping and rolling downwards. Through the chaos, he could still hear Jackbot in the distance, laughing to the top of his nonexistent lungs. After what seemed like forever, everything went black, the rolling stopped, and he felt flat land beneath his sore body. He tried to get up but his brain decided it was time for a break, shutting him and his body down, crashing into another wave of darkness, pulling him under it's unconscious grasp.
The sound of water dwindling between rocks and crashing into them found Logan's ears when he awoke next to a river bed. The blood granted from his encounter with Jackbot had stopped it's flow and dried over the side of his face, sticking bits of leafs, pebbles, and dirt with it. Logan crawled into the edge of the stream, splashing his face with the cool water, cupping it into his hands, and lapping up the small puddle. Refreshing.
Lilith: Enjoy the nap?
He quickly rolled over onto his back, looking for the source of Lilith's voice. It came from everywhere, yet she was nowhere.
Logan: Where are you?!
Lilith: Don't worry about that.
Logan: Why is there a Jack Happy robot trying to kill me?!
Lilith: Because I didn't think Jack Happy would volunteer for this... well, actually.. he might have. I doubt the other ones would have though.
Logan: Other ones?
Lilith: Yes. You didn't think I'd use your credit card JUST to build a life like replica bot of Jack Happy did you?
Logan: MY CREDIT CARD?!
Lilith: YES!
Logan: DAMNIT.
Lilith: I'm not paying you back either.
Logan: ARH!
Lilith: Don't get all Oblivion on me you little noise box. No, really, Logan Bear... after this is over with - assuming you survive - you'll be thankful I did what I did. I don't want you getting all soft on me, MR. WC - NO SHOW!
Logan: Hey! I had a cold last week!
Lilith: Oh yeah... I was in a coma, bitch!
Logan: But you didn't have to wrestle -
Lilith: Well, uh, if I would have... still would have won. ANYWAY. This isn't about me. This about you. This is about...
He can tell she pauses to add dramatic effect.
Lilith: THE BOUDLE GAMES!
Logan: The WHAT?
She pauses again.
Lilith: ... THE BOUDLE GAMES!
Logan: You mean The Hunge -
Lilith: DON'T SAY THAT.
Logan: Why not?!
Lilith: LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
Whatever intercom she was communicating through abruptly clicks off. Logan grunts, sighs, lets a little anger out of his lungs, and staggers to his feet. His head admittedly felt much better than before, even after the Jackbot head butt. He brushed himself off. It was time to proceed, get out of his hell hole. Maybe this river led somewhere out of these God forsaken woods full of killer robots. Just then the tops of the trees danced with wind and not a natural wind. A robot of Ryan Rhodes scaled the tree tops, a propeller spinning from his... CROTCH?! Logan blinked while the Ryan bot descended down, the propeller twirling from his crotch acting as one would on the top of a helicopter.
Ryanbot: Looooogan!
The robot effortlessly landed on his feet across the river from Logan, the crotch propeller shutting off to his command.
Ryanbot: Crotch off.
Ryanbot looked to Logan, a smile on his robotic face.
Logan: How nice of you to drop by.
Ryanbot: Isn't it? It's nice to see you as well.
Logan nonchalantly bent down, grabbing a river rock, careful not to be seen by Ryanbot.
Ryanbot: Are you about to take another nap?!
Logan: Me? No!
Ryanbot: Good. Because I've been waiting all afternoon for you to wake up so I can kill you.
Logan: Why not just do it while I was sleeping?
Ryanbot: Oh, Logan, Logan!
The Ryanbot had a small chuckle, every time he laughed the propeller on his crotch spun a little.
Ryanbot: I'm not like that deranged Jack Happy. I have class. I'm a man's man, one who likes a good fight.
Logan: You call THAT classy?
Logan pointed to Ryan's crotch. Ryanbot, seemingly embarrassed, covered his hands over it.
Ryanbot: HEY! Enough talk! I've waited all afternoon you lazy bastard. It's time you feel the wrath of Ryan!
The propeller on Ryan's crotch fired back up, causing Logan to raise an eyebrow, yet brace himself nonetheless. Ryanbot's feet lifted off the ground, propelling himself into the air via crotch, and scaled the river in pursuit of Logan. The rock Logan had been holding left his hand and went towards Ryanbot. Ryanbot maneuvered the rock, shaking his head and letting out a quick laughing while maintaining speed in Logan's direction. Logan jumped out of the way at the last second and Ryanbot blew past him.
Ryanbot: Nice moves!
The end result put Logan behind a tree, peaking out to see Ryanbot land back down onto his feet.
Ryanbot: I didn't think this would be so easy... glad I was right.
Logan: If it's a good fight you want I'm right here.
Ryanbot: Oh, shut it Mr. one liner. Stop being so dramatic and come out and fight me like a man!
Logan stepped out from behind the tree. He walked to the front of it, pushing his back into it, and crossed his arms nonchalantly leaning up against it. Logan looked down at his nails, paying no attention to Ryanbot, picking some dirt from his nails - grooming. Ryanbot looked more than offended by this.
Ryanbot: SON OF A BITCH! Do you know who I am?! I'm ending this now!
The crotch propeller started up again propelling Ryanbot off his feet, he extended his arms straight forward, and flew into Logan with amazing speed. Waiting until the last possible second, Logan ducked down and rolled to the side, and Ryanbot drove himself head first into the thick oak. His head immediately exploded into tiny bits of metal and silicone. His lifeless robot body lay in a pile of scraped metal, twitching, sparking... the crotch propeller slowly twirling to a halt.
Logan: One down.
Logan spotted a handgun that was strapped to Ryanbot's hip, he bent down over the wreckage of robot, grabbed the gun, carefully examined it, and carried it with him down the rivers edge.
Jackbot: Logan, Logan, Logan... ohhh!
Jackbot squealed with joy, somewhere on his own deep, deep in the woods far from Logan at the moment. He held his injured leg over the top of a log, oil still spurting out, wires still sparking. A chain saw laid over his lap.
Jackbot: My little Logan..
Jackbot cranked the chainsaw and it sputtered to life emitting dark smoke from the exhaust pipe. He held the chainsaw over his knee cap and pressed down, shredding bits of silicone skin and spraying green oil against his laughing face.
The sun had fallen and been replaced with a full moon. It's light was enough to give one a little breathing room of sight in this otherwise pitch black forest. Logan stayed along the edge of the river, he had probably followed it a couple of miles since dismantling Ryanbot. In the distance a warm inviting fire glowed, and next to that fire sat Chino roasting a marshmallow. He was talking to himself.
Chinobot: Man... I'm not really sure if I want to do this. I've got other things going on. I mean, I'm moving into a new place. Why can't I just enjoy this campfire and call it a night? Geez...
Remaining as quiet as possible, Logan crept up behind Chino, doing his best to stay out of sight. He held the handgun out in front of him, aiming it at the back of Chinobot's head. He hated to do it, but he needed to survive. Logan pulled the trigger and... a shot of WATER?! The stream of water shot into the back of Chinobot's head, whom instantly jumped to his feet half startled, dropping his roasting marsh mellow. What the hell was Ryanbot doing with a water gun? Did he know Logan would take it? Was this Ryanbot's last laugh? That bastard!
Chinobot: HEY! WHO WAS - LOGAN!
Now Logan was vulnerable, out in the open with a useless handgun that shot water instead of bullets. Chinobot looked pissed off to say the least - moreso because Logan caused him to drop his roasting marshmallow into the fire.
Chinobot: Look what you did!
Logan threw the water gun in Chinobot's face, he didn't know what else what to do with it. The gun broke open over Chinobot's face and leaked water down onto the ground. He looked more surprised than hurt.
Chinobot: Who throws a water gun?
Logan: Eh. It was all I had.
Chinobot: Oh well. So, you killed Ryanbot?
Logan: Yup.
Chinobot: Not bad. However, your adventure ends here... because I have other things going on! So, I'm just going to hurry up and kill you now!
Chinobot darted towards Logan, slipping in the puddle of water caused by the broken water gun in the process, and falling backwards into the open fire where the flames consumed him.
Chinobot: AHHHHH! I'M MELTING!
Logan stood back, holding an arm out to shield him from the heavy flames cooking Chino's body. Maybe that water gun was useful after all. The sound of a chainsaw rumbled out of the bushes... JACKBOT!
Jackbot: LOGAN!
Jackbot's leaking leg was missing and replaced with a running chainsaw duct taped at the knee. Logan stared in shock while Jackbot stood over the fire, eating a burrito, watching Chinobot burn.
Jackbot: Can't say I'm happy to see him go, but I am. I always am.
Logan: Is that a chainsaw taped to your kneecap?!
Jackbot: Yes it is, motherfucker.
Jackbot smiled over eating his burrito.
Logan: What you got in that burrito? Another knife?
Jackbot: No, no, no... just hot cheese and BEANS!
Jackbot threw the half eaten burrito at Logan's face, the hot bean goo blinding Logan's right eye. Logan held his eye in pain, stumbling backwards, and tripping over a crowbar. Why the fuck is there a crowbar here, thought Logan when he tripped over it, and why did I trip over it? I really am clumsy. Well, I did just got hot bean in my eye.
Jackbot: Har! Har!
Jackbot, with his wielding cut off chainsaw taped up leg, leapt over the fire and amazingly pounced the downed Logan sticking the running blades of the chainsaw into his face. Logan was lucky enough to have grabbed the crowbar, using it to deflect the blades of the running saw. Sparks and ambers bounced off the crowbar as Jackbot willingly pressed on driving the blade closer and closer into Logan's face until the blade and heat were just within inches. And then... suddenly... it stopped. Jackbot looked down at his leg, obviously confused by this.
Logan: Looks like you're out of gas!
Logan looked behind Jackbot at the fire. Jackbot's oil dripping leg had tracked a deadly trail of flames behind him.
Logan: And out of time!
Logan quickly rolled out from underneath Jackbot and to safety.
Jackbot: Huh?
Jackbot looked down at the flames following his flammable path, catching up to him, hitting his leg, and causing a big sudden explosion! Logan covered his head, shielding it from the remnants of Jackbot. He still wasn't safe. Jackbot's laughing head blew off his body and landed onto Logan, hitting him right in the back of his own head. Logan began seeing stars along with the final sight of Jackbot's decapitated head sitting next to him, laughing, until the glowing red eyes finally faded out. And so did Logan... he faded out.
When he awoke once more, the sun had peered it's smiling bright face, washing away the chaos that had taken place over the night. Chinobot and Jackbot were burned to a crisp. Nothing left of them but a mental frame. Logan slowly stood to his battered feet, letting out a huge sigh of relief. The voice once more echoed throughout the forest.
Lilith: Congratulations!
Logan jumped.
Lilith: Oh? Did I scare you?
Logan: It was just sudden. That's all. Maybe a warning next time... no, forget next time. I'm ready to go!
Lilith: Why would you want to go when we've been having so much fun? Anyway, yes, you have completed...
A drama pause follows.
Lilith: ... THE BOUDLE GAMES!
Logan: Sweet. Cool. Bravo. Come pick me up.
Lilith: Uh.. wait, I forgot. I got drunk and had another robot built last night.
Logan: WHAT?!
Lilith: I WAS DRUNK!
The intercom clicks off. Logan looks around... who could she have been talking about? From the distance comes another voice, not Lilith's.
SuperFPVbot: LOOOOOGAN!
Logan: NO!
He flies into view, a jet pack on his back, missiles on his arms, a Super Mario mushroom painted on his helmet. He hovers in the air, doing crazy poses while he talks.
SuperFPVbot: It is I... vintage FPV. SUPER FPV!
Logan: FPV!
SuperFPVbot: Yes.. that's me.. I just said it.
Logan: You don't have to do this. Lilith is just using you to kill me!
SuperFPVbot: Yeah, yeah, I know, and hey... I don't care. It's time I finally stomped your goomba ass!
Logan: FPV!
SuperFPVbot: BOOM! HEADSHOT!
A missile launches from Superbots arm, a missile straight for Logan. Logan rushes away from the missile, which ends up hitting the ground and blowing the entire camp to bits!
Logan: He's got missiles.. and a jetba -
Superbot overheard Logan talking to himself while he was running away and abruptly cuts him off.
SuperFPVbot: You're damn right I got missiles, goomba!
Logan: I don't have anything. I'm basically naked. There is no way I can compete with him -
SuperFPVbot: Stop talking to yourself. BOOM! HEADSHOT!
Another missile soared past Logan's head and blew up the tree in front of him. The shock of the blast knocked Logan backwards and off his feet, his back hit a rock and he rested up against it in agony while Superbot made his approach to finish off Logan.
SuperFPVbot: Time to die, goomba breath.
Super FPV hovered over Logan's broken body, a satisfied look on his face.
SuperFPVbot: Today I bury you, ToT, our past.. EVERYTHING!
He aimed the next rocket at Logan's body. In the distance, something caught Super FPV's attention, the sound of a chopper... along with the sound of someone screaming...
Boudlebot: NOOOOOOOO!
Roy Speede: Leave my daddy alone!
Roy Speede and Boudlebot flew forwards in their helicopter, Boudlebot piloting the chopper, and Roy Speede handling a rocket launcher over his shoulder.
SuperFPVbot: WELL, WELL, WELL. If it isn't my old friend... ROY SPEEDE!
Boudlebot: SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE, ROY!
Roy grunts, steadying the rocket launcher.
Roy: I can't... he's my friend..
Boudlebot: That's not FPV. That's an evil robot!
Roy: You're a robot too!
Boudlebot: Yeah but I can do this...
Boudlebot pelvic thrusts.
Boudlebot: And that's your Dad down there! You have to save him!
Roy: You're right!
Roy picks up his Sponge Bob walkie talkie.
Roy: Logan, do you read me? I'm rocking this boudles shit. Over and out.
Roy Speede fires the launcher at Super FPVbot, which directly hits FPVbot and causes him to explode. Roy looks a little troubled watching the bot of his old friend explode, but nonetheless, he rises to the occasion, drops the rocket launcher, and hits a pelvic thrust!
Logan: Roy...
From down below, instead of a traditional thumbs up in a time like this, the battered and beaten Logan looks up to Roy and... hits a pelvic thrust.
This took place immediately after Logan defeated Oblivion and won the Hardcore Championship. He enters Lilith room, whom is still in a coma, and walks in carrying the Hardcore title. He is sadden by her current state. Not amused like usual, not dancing in and offering thrusts of pelvics. Logan sits by her side, placing the Hardcore belt on the bed next to her...
Logan: I did it. I think I'm finally becoming the person you always wanted me to be... a better person.
He stood beside her, leaning down, and kissing her on her forehead.
Logan: Thank you, Lilith.
The cameras faded out with Logan sitting down on Lilith's bedside, staring down at her sleeping face.
Lilith: You need to keep up.
The needle punctured his skin and shot a poisonous injection into his veins. He staggered backwards grabbing at his neck, looking at Lilith, this woman he barely knew, with wide eyes. What had she injected him with? Why was everyone turning on him lately? Logan and Lilith had never been officially recognized as 'friends', 'buddies', what have you... but they had never clashed either. It was he who came to her aid after that brutal attack from Sarah Twilight, it was him who visited her in her coma and left a kiss on her forehead out of cameras sights. He didn't hate her. It wasn't love either. She just had a weird way of reminding herself of him and for one reason or another that made him feel close to this stranger, Lilith. This poisonous injection all went down in Logan's locker room. The unsuspecting Lilith made her way in like a snake ready to inject venom - and that she did - without so much of a 'Hi, Logan, how's it been?'. Logan could already feel the effects loaded up in her syringe - now unloaded into him. The light on the ceiling of the room turned into a green evil, like someone blanketed the sun with an ocean of sea weed and all that shined through was a greenish unwarming diseased hue.
Logan: Lilith...
He watched his hand travel out towards her. He reached for her arm, she showed no signs of resistance, let him weakly grasp her while he fumbled under his own weight and lost control of footing - going down to a knee next to her.
Lilith: You'll understand.
And with that he gave her one last look before his eyes rolled sideways and then back into his head - his limp body did the same - going down and dropping hard onto his back to knock one last gasp of oxygen from his lungs.
THE BOUDLE GAMES
He awoke coughing out a breath of unconscious air, bringing him back to life from Lilith's induced slumber. His hand went to his neck, which no longer felt sore from the needle sting earlier. Dried leafs crunched beneath the palms of his hands as he sat up. Trees, brush, the thick of wilderness surrounded every where he turned to look. How long had he been out? He assumed Lilith brought him here, but why? A bomb of an headache ticked inside his skull, ready to explode and blow brains out of his ear holes. Whatever she have him carried a nasty headache. He'd been on drinking binges before, gone two days without a second of sleep, but even then the hangovers weren't this brutal. He crawled through the thick layers of leaves and brush, finding a tree and pressing his back against it. Why had Lilith brought him here? BOOM. His have closed eyes open to full attention, a burrito with a brick stuffed inside propelled into the tree, right next to his head, and blew off some tree bark that splintered the side of his face.
Jackbot: LOGAN!
Logan's vision was still a little blurry from the syringe hangover, but from what he could make out, Jack Happy had just thrown a brick stuffed burrito next to his head. He was probably aiming for his face. Something was off about Happy, his legs moved in a mechanical way and even produced the sound a gear makes when you grind the clutch.
Logan: Jack?
He was still having trouble trying to refocus his sight. Logan held out a hand like trying to cover your eyes from the sun, watching this strange carnation of Jack Happy approach him through spilt fingers. Jack's face was rather expressionless, only a fixed glare with furrowed brows. His skin resembled the texture of silicone. He didn't appear to be human. Nothing about him did. Nonetheless, real or not, Logan knew he was in danger, especially when Jack charged him - shoulder first - with murder in his red mechanical eyes. Logan threw himself out of the way and the Jackbot rammed the tree uprooting it from the earth and sending the massive piece of nature tumbling down through the forest.
Jackbot: We've got ourselves a playful one here don't we?
The Jackbot reached inside his oversized yellow pocket, produced another burrito, and took a massive bite from it. He chewed furiously, making awkward noises of squeaks and squeals in the process, before finally pulling the half eaten burrito from his mouth - the sharp blade of a knife sliding out from his lips where the burrito had once been.
Logan: Who puts a knife in a burrito?
Jackbot: Me.
The clown crazed bot raced towards Logan, kicking up leafs and dirt with his furious engagement. Logan pushed backwards, scrambling to his feet, only to fall back over a log and hit the dirt once more. Jackbot was right on top of him. The knife came down and Logan tilted his head to avoid the blow, though not entirely. The edge of the knife tore the side of Logan's cheek and sprayed out blood over the side of Jackbot's hand and blade. Logan grunted out with agony, rolling away from Jackbot, and scuffling up to his feet while Jackbot worked the knife out of the downed log. The seriousness of this situation settled in. This wasn't fantasy, not another pelvic thrusting block of television entertainment. He was fighting for survival here. The side of Logan's face leaked crimson down onto his neck and shoulder. The cut wasn't too deep, just enough to spurt some red. He held his hand to it either way to nurse the fresh wound.
Jackbot: You don't look so bad with a little blood on you. I quite like you this way, Logan!
Logan: Who the hell are you?
Jackbot: That's for me to know and for you to suffer finding out.
Logan wiped some blood off his cheek and slung it off onto the forest floor.
Logan: Then let's suffer.
The robotic clown smiled, stepping into Logan, pushing the blade into his direction. Logan side stepped, grabbed Jackbot's extended weapon equipped arm, and sent an elbow into the bend of Jackbot's arm forcing his hand to release his grip onto the knife. Jackbot was quick to counter, head butting the side of Logan's skull, grabbing the crook of his arm, and flipping Logan over his mechanical shoulder and hard onto his back. Once down, Jackbot shoved a boot into his throat and pressed hard. Logan struggled for air, his hands desperately fighting to push away Jackbot's boot from his caved in throat. A reflection of light, like a guardian angel enchanting a path through the darkness, gleamed into Logan's eyes. It was the knife Jackbot had dropped, now half buried by leaves, reflecting the sunlight and glimmering bright for Logan. Logan reached for the knife, gripped it hard, and drove it into the side of Jackbot's leg, and as if he could truly feel pain... the robotic creature shrieked out a howl of agony. Green hydraulic oil gushed out from the edges of the blade engulfed by his leg. It was enough to shut down his force into Logan's throat, enough to give Logan enough time to roll away. The Jackbot clown hopped around on one foot, half laughing, half screaming, trying to rip the blade from his silicone flesh. Logan felt battered at this point, struggling to his feet, watching everything unfold with confusion.
Jackbot: You hit the funny bone!
The Jackbot fell back laughing, his hands dancing over the blade in his leg while hydraulic oil squirted over staining his white gloved hands. While Logan watched on, the clown reached inside his baggy suit, pulling out another burrito. Between laughs, Jackbot chewed on the burrito, slowly bringing forth the revealment of a grenade. Logan's eyes went wide and he instantly turned to get the fuck out of dodge. The clown bite off the pin and lazily tossed the grenade into Logan's fleeing direction. The explosion crashed another tree, ripping off at it's trunk, sending pieces of hot wood and metal into the side of Logan's hip and knocking him forward off his feet. Hitting the cold muddy forest floor with a thud, Logan's body forcefully rolled, caught a down slope, and kept effortlessly flipping and rolling downwards. Through the chaos, he could still hear Jackbot in the distance, laughing to the top of his nonexistent lungs. After what seemed like forever, everything went black, the rolling stopped, and he felt flat land beneath his sore body. He tried to get up but his brain decided it was time for a break, shutting him and his body down, crashing into another wave of darkness, pulling him under it's unconscious grasp.
THE BOUDLE GAMES: Saving Private Parts Ryan
The sound of water dwindling between rocks and crashing into them found Logan's ears when he awoke next to a river bed. The blood granted from his encounter with Jackbot had stopped it's flow and dried over the side of his face, sticking bits of leafs, pebbles, and dirt with it. Logan crawled into the edge of the stream, splashing his face with the cool water, cupping it into his hands, and lapping up the small puddle. Refreshing.
Lilith: Enjoy the nap?
He quickly rolled over onto his back, looking for the source of Lilith's voice. It came from everywhere, yet she was nowhere.
Logan: Where are you?!
Lilith: Don't worry about that.
Logan: Why is there a Jack Happy robot trying to kill me?!
Lilith: Because I didn't think Jack Happy would volunteer for this... well, actually.. he might have. I doubt the other ones would have though.
Logan: Other ones?
Lilith: Yes. You didn't think I'd use your credit card JUST to build a life like replica bot of Jack Happy did you?
Logan: MY CREDIT CARD?!
Lilith: YES!
Logan: DAMNIT.
Lilith: I'm not paying you back either.
Logan: ARH!
Lilith: Don't get all Oblivion on me you little noise box. No, really, Logan Bear... after this is over with - assuming you survive - you'll be thankful I did what I did. I don't want you getting all soft on me, MR. WC - NO SHOW!
Logan: Hey! I had a cold last week!
Lilith: Oh yeah... I was in a coma, bitch!
Logan: But you didn't have to wrestle -
Lilith: Well, uh, if I would have... still would have won. ANYWAY. This isn't about me. This about you. This is about...
He can tell she pauses to add dramatic effect.
Lilith: THE BOUDLE GAMES!
Logan: The WHAT?
She pauses again.
Lilith: ... THE BOUDLE GAMES!
Logan: You mean The Hunge -
Lilith: DON'T SAY THAT.
Logan: Why not?!
Lilith: LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
Whatever intercom she was communicating through abruptly clicks off. Logan grunts, sighs, lets a little anger out of his lungs, and staggers to his feet. His head admittedly felt much better than before, even after the Jackbot head butt. He brushed himself off. It was time to proceed, get out of his hell hole. Maybe this river led somewhere out of these God forsaken woods full of killer robots. Just then the tops of the trees danced with wind and not a natural wind. A robot of Ryan Rhodes scaled the tree tops, a propeller spinning from his... CROTCH?! Logan blinked while the Ryan bot descended down, the propeller twirling from his crotch acting as one would on the top of a helicopter.
Ryanbot: Looooogan!
The robot effortlessly landed on his feet across the river from Logan, the crotch propeller shutting off to his command.
Ryanbot: Crotch off.
Ryanbot looked to Logan, a smile on his robotic face.
Logan: How nice of you to drop by.
Ryanbot: Isn't it? It's nice to see you as well.
Logan nonchalantly bent down, grabbing a river rock, careful not to be seen by Ryanbot.
Ryanbot: Are you about to take another nap?!
Logan: Me? No!
Ryanbot: Good. Because I've been waiting all afternoon for you to wake up so I can kill you.
Logan: Why not just do it while I was sleeping?
Ryanbot: Oh, Logan, Logan!
The Ryanbot had a small chuckle, every time he laughed the propeller on his crotch spun a little.
Ryanbot: I'm not like that deranged Jack Happy. I have class. I'm a man's man, one who likes a good fight.
Logan: You call THAT classy?
Logan pointed to Ryan's crotch. Ryanbot, seemingly embarrassed, covered his hands over it.
Ryanbot: HEY! Enough talk! I've waited all afternoon you lazy bastard. It's time you feel the wrath of Ryan!
The propeller on Ryan's crotch fired back up, causing Logan to raise an eyebrow, yet brace himself nonetheless. Ryanbot's feet lifted off the ground, propelling himself into the air via crotch, and scaled the river in pursuit of Logan. The rock Logan had been holding left his hand and went towards Ryanbot. Ryanbot maneuvered the rock, shaking his head and letting out a quick laughing while maintaining speed in Logan's direction. Logan jumped out of the way at the last second and Ryanbot blew past him.
Ryanbot: Nice moves!
The end result put Logan behind a tree, peaking out to see Ryanbot land back down onto his feet.
Ryanbot: I didn't think this would be so easy... glad I was right.
Logan: If it's a good fight you want I'm right here.
Ryanbot: Oh, shut it Mr. one liner. Stop being so dramatic and come out and fight me like a man!
Logan stepped out from behind the tree. He walked to the front of it, pushing his back into it, and crossed his arms nonchalantly leaning up against it. Logan looked down at his nails, paying no attention to Ryanbot, picking some dirt from his nails - grooming. Ryanbot looked more than offended by this.
Ryanbot: SON OF A BITCH! Do you know who I am?! I'm ending this now!
The crotch propeller started up again propelling Ryanbot off his feet, he extended his arms straight forward, and flew into Logan with amazing speed. Waiting until the last possible second, Logan ducked down and rolled to the side, and Ryanbot drove himself head first into the thick oak. His head immediately exploded into tiny bits of metal and silicone. His lifeless robot body lay in a pile of scraped metal, twitching, sparking... the crotch propeller slowly twirling to a halt.
Logan: One down.
Logan spotted a handgun that was strapped to Ryanbot's hip, he bent down over the wreckage of robot, grabbed the gun, carefully examined it, and carried it with him down the rivers edge.
THE BOUDLE GAMES: Where's Your Leg At?
Jackbot: Logan, Logan, Logan... ohhh!
Jackbot squealed with joy, somewhere on his own deep, deep in the woods far from Logan at the moment. He held his injured leg over the top of a log, oil still spurting out, wires still sparking. A chain saw laid over his lap.
Jackbot: My little Logan..
Jackbot cranked the chainsaw and it sputtered to life emitting dark smoke from the exhaust pipe. He held the chainsaw over his knee cap and pressed down, shredding bits of silicone skin and spraying green oil against his laughing face.
THE BOUDLE GAMES: Classic Chino
The sun had fallen and been replaced with a full moon. It's light was enough to give one a little breathing room of sight in this otherwise pitch black forest. Logan stayed along the edge of the river, he had probably followed it a couple of miles since dismantling Ryanbot. In the distance a warm inviting fire glowed, and next to that fire sat Chino roasting a marshmallow. He was talking to himself.
Chinobot: Man... I'm not really sure if I want to do this. I've got other things going on. I mean, I'm moving into a new place. Why can't I just enjoy this campfire and call it a night? Geez...
Remaining as quiet as possible, Logan crept up behind Chino, doing his best to stay out of sight. He held the handgun out in front of him, aiming it at the back of Chinobot's head. He hated to do it, but he needed to survive. Logan pulled the trigger and... a shot of WATER?! The stream of water shot into the back of Chinobot's head, whom instantly jumped to his feet half startled, dropping his roasting marsh mellow. What the hell was Ryanbot doing with a water gun? Did he know Logan would take it? Was this Ryanbot's last laugh? That bastard!
Chinobot: HEY! WHO WAS - LOGAN!
Now Logan was vulnerable, out in the open with a useless handgun that shot water instead of bullets. Chinobot looked pissed off to say the least - moreso because Logan caused him to drop his roasting marshmallow into the fire.
Chinobot: Look what you did!
Logan threw the water gun in Chinobot's face, he didn't know what else what to do with it. The gun broke open over Chinobot's face and leaked water down onto the ground. He looked more surprised than hurt.
Chinobot: Who throws a water gun?
Logan: Eh. It was all I had.
Chinobot: Oh well. So, you killed Ryanbot?
Logan: Yup.
Chinobot: Not bad. However, your adventure ends here... because I have other things going on! So, I'm just going to hurry up and kill you now!
Chinobot darted towards Logan, slipping in the puddle of water caused by the broken water gun in the process, and falling backwards into the open fire where the flames consumed him.
Chinobot: AHHHHH! I'M MELTING!
Logan stood back, holding an arm out to shield him from the heavy flames cooking Chino's body. Maybe that water gun was useful after all. The sound of a chainsaw rumbled out of the bushes... JACKBOT!
Jackbot: LOGAN!
Jackbot's leaking leg was missing and replaced with a running chainsaw duct taped at the knee. Logan stared in shock while Jackbot stood over the fire, eating a burrito, watching Chinobot burn.
Jackbot: Can't say I'm happy to see him go, but I am. I always am.
Logan: Is that a chainsaw taped to your kneecap?!
Jackbot: Yes it is, motherfucker.
Jackbot smiled over eating his burrito.
Logan: What you got in that burrito? Another knife?
Jackbot: No, no, no... just hot cheese and BEANS!
Jackbot threw the half eaten burrito at Logan's face, the hot bean goo blinding Logan's right eye. Logan held his eye in pain, stumbling backwards, and tripping over a crowbar. Why the fuck is there a crowbar here, thought Logan when he tripped over it, and why did I trip over it? I really am clumsy. Well, I did just got hot bean in my eye.
Jackbot: Har! Har!
Jackbot, with his wielding cut off chainsaw taped up leg, leapt over the fire and amazingly pounced the downed Logan sticking the running blades of the chainsaw into his face. Logan was lucky enough to have grabbed the crowbar, using it to deflect the blades of the running saw. Sparks and ambers bounced off the crowbar as Jackbot willingly pressed on driving the blade closer and closer into Logan's face until the blade and heat were just within inches. And then... suddenly... it stopped. Jackbot looked down at his leg, obviously confused by this.
Logan: Looks like you're out of gas!
Logan looked behind Jackbot at the fire. Jackbot's oil dripping leg had tracked a deadly trail of flames behind him.
Logan: And out of time!
Logan quickly rolled out from underneath Jackbot and to safety.
Jackbot: Huh?
Jackbot looked down at the flames following his flammable path, catching up to him, hitting his leg, and causing a big sudden explosion! Logan covered his head, shielding it from the remnants of Jackbot. He still wasn't safe. Jackbot's laughing head blew off his body and landed onto Logan, hitting him right in the back of his own head. Logan began seeing stars along with the final sight of Jackbot's decapitated head sitting next to him, laughing, until the glowing red eyes finally faded out. And so did Logan... he faded out.
THE BOUDLE GAMES: Encore
When he awoke once more, the sun had peered it's smiling bright face, washing away the chaos that had taken place over the night. Chinobot and Jackbot were burned to a crisp. Nothing left of them but a mental frame. Logan slowly stood to his battered feet, letting out a huge sigh of relief. The voice once more echoed throughout the forest.
Lilith: Congratulations!
Logan jumped.
Lilith: Oh? Did I scare you?
Logan: It was just sudden. That's all. Maybe a warning next time... no, forget next time. I'm ready to go!
Lilith: Why would you want to go when we've been having so much fun? Anyway, yes, you have completed...
A drama pause follows.
Lilith: ... THE BOUDLE GAMES!
Logan: Sweet. Cool. Bravo. Come pick me up.
Lilith: Uh.. wait, I forgot. I got drunk and had another robot built last night.
Logan: WHAT?!
Lilith: I WAS DRUNK!
The intercom clicks off. Logan looks around... who could she have been talking about? From the distance comes another voice, not Lilith's.
SuperFPVbot: LOOOOOGAN!
Logan: NO!
He flies into view, a jet pack on his back, missiles on his arms, a Super Mario mushroom painted on his helmet. He hovers in the air, doing crazy poses while he talks.
SuperFPVbot: It is I... vintage FPV. SUPER FPV!
Logan: FPV!
SuperFPVbot: Yes.. that's me.. I just said it.
Logan: You don't have to do this. Lilith is just using you to kill me!
SuperFPVbot: Yeah, yeah, I know, and hey... I don't care. It's time I finally stomped your goomba ass!
Logan: FPV!
SuperFPVbot: BOOM! HEADSHOT!
A missile launches from Superbots arm, a missile straight for Logan. Logan rushes away from the missile, which ends up hitting the ground and blowing the entire camp to bits!
Logan: He's got missiles.. and a jetba -
Superbot overheard Logan talking to himself while he was running away and abruptly cuts him off.
SuperFPVbot: You're damn right I got missiles, goomba!
Logan: I don't have anything. I'm basically naked. There is no way I can compete with him -
SuperFPVbot: Stop talking to yourself. BOOM! HEADSHOT!
Another missile soared past Logan's head and blew up the tree in front of him. The shock of the blast knocked Logan backwards and off his feet, his back hit a rock and he rested up against it in agony while Superbot made his approach to finish off Logan.
SuperFPVbot: Time to die, goomba breath.
Super FPV hovered over Logan's broken body, a satisfied look on his face.
SuperFPVbot: Today I bury you, ToT, our past.. EVERYTHING!
He aimed the next rocket at Logan's body. In the distance, something caught Super FPV's attention, the sound of a chopper... along with the sound of someone screaming...
Boudlebot: NOOOOOOOO!
Roy Speede: Leave my daddy alone!
Roy Speede and Boudlebot flew forwards in their helicopter, Boudlebot piloting the chopper, and Roy Speede handling a rocket launcher over his shoulder.
SuperFPVbot: WELL, WELL, WELL. If it isn't my old friend... ROY SPEEDE!
Boudlebot: SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE, ROY!
Roy grunts, steadying the rocket launcher.
Roy: I can't... he's my friend..
Boudlebot: That's not FPV. That's an evil robot!
Roy: You're a robot too!
Boudlebot: Yeah but I can do this...
Boudlebot pelvic thrusts.
Boudlebot: And that's your Dad down there! You have to save him!
Roy: You're right!
Roy picks up his Sponge Bob walkie talkie.
Roy: Logan, do you read me? I'm rocking this boudles shit. Over and out.
Roy Speede fires the launcher at Super FPVbot, which directly hits FPVbot and causes him to explode. Roy looks a little troubled watching the bot of his old friend explode, but nonetheless, he rises to the occasion, drops the rocket launcher, and hits a pelvic thrust!
Logan: Roy...
From down below, instead of a traditional thumbs up in a time like this, the battered and beaten Logan looks up to Roy and... hits a pelvic thrust.
LOGAN VISITS LILITH: Previously Recorded
This took place immediately after Logan defeated Oblivion and won the Hardcore Championship. He enters Lilith room, whom is still in a coma, and walks in carrying the Hardcore title. He is sadden by her current state. Not amused like usual, not dancing in and offering thrusts of pelvics. Logan sits by her side, placing the Hardcore belt on the bed next to her...
"You dropped by as I was sleeping.
You came to see the whole commotion.
And when I woke I started laughing.
The jokes on me for not believing.
We are not your kind of people.
Speak a different language.
We see through your lies.
We are not your kind of people.
Won't be cast as demons,
Creatures you despise." Garbage "Not Your Kind of People"
Logan: I did it. I think I'm finally becoming the person you always wanted me to be... a better person.
He stood beside her, leaning down, and kissing her on her forehead.
Logan: Thank you, Lilith.
The cameras faded out with Logan sitting down on Lilith's bedside, staring down at her sleeping face.
