Post by Mr. Jack Happy on Nov 23, 2013 2:47:08 GMT -5
Howdy doo buckaroos. Now I know this is a bit different. However, I've always had to fight for different. Variety is, after all, the spice of life isn't it? So all these figurative battles have been for LIFE. Makes it all worthwhile when you look at it that way. So enjoy the different. I do.
I'd like to share a little bit about myself. Give a glimpse into another facet of my world. Why now? Well, some would say 'tis the season.' Yet, the real reason has nothing to do with it being close to a holiday at all. I've just had some time to reflect on my time here and my recent actions with a fellow WCF wrestler. Now, I'm not looking for absolution nor am I trying to offer up another explanation. I've already explained and I don't feel sorry about standing up for what I've always done. Instead, it's more about a generalized concern in the greater picture of things.
Wow. Listen to me ramble all around hither and yon...more hither which creates EVEN MORE yawn. Get it? See what I did just there? Play on words. I've always liked to kid around like that. Humor can be a great disarming weapon in the midst of trials and tribulations. Laughter always does good for the soul. If you laugh good and if you love good, then you are on the right track to live good. If you live good then the world is your proverbial oyster. Or burrito. Definitely burrito.
Anywho!
His name was Aaron Matthewson. Don't even bother trying to remember it, because you won't. After all, Aaron Matthewson won't ring any bells for anyone. You won't go looking for him on facebook, and even if you did, he
doesn't have an account. You won't find his name in a magazine or anywhere else. Much like his brother, Seth Matthewson, Aaron kept to himself as much as possible. He had dreams and I wanted to help him realize them. At the time, I was his manager. That's right. Before I stepped INSIDE the ring, I learned everything I could OUTSIDE of it. Me and Aaron made each other better or so I thought. Aaron is a good name...a strong name.
We spent the better part of two years traveling all over the United States. Hell, we even went to Japan on occasion, as well as Canada and Mexico. He was so young. Full of promise. Full of potential. What? Did I say something wrong? Ohhhh, I used that word didn't I? I used that very bad word called 'potential.' Well, it's true that he had it and I know because a major promotion came calling for him. He was on the cusp of realizing his lifelong dream.
Happily ever after time? He realizes it and the story ends right? YAY, now let's get silly. Let's do something hilarious and over the top and....wait. It's different. It's what I fight for. It's what I'd die for. It should've been ME. You were too young Aaron. You weren't ready for that moment when you're making deals with the devil for another breath, another second. The accident, it took so much from you and, I never told you this, but it took something from me too. For a long while, I lost my smile because I lost my closest friend. I lost my SMILE damnit! Damn you Aaron.
How do you lose something that's as natural as breathing? You don't forget it, that's for sure. You don't make the CONSCIOUS decision to just say 'fuck it.' It's not some remote that you later find in the next room. It's like a lover though, you have to have faith that if you should somehow have it leave you...it'll come back. And that's almost what Aaron did. Confused yet? Take another shot. It'll help take the edge off.
You see, Aaron went away. Metaphorically speaking, yeah, he died. Doctors told him he'd never walk again. He was burned and he was broken. Sometimes a broken man is nothing but pieces until he finds the way to put himself back together again. Even then, the pieces never fit the same way again. Puzzled? That's a pun. There's your moment to laugh. Tragic humor at it's best if I do have to say so myself and since this is my fucking monologue it is the best.
Aaron Matthewson gave way to a force of nature born from necessity, panic, and a hint of hopelessness. In that dark hour, Aaron would be whatever he NEEDED to be even if it meant he wouldn't be himself. This new and 'improved' being couldn't even stand to look at his destroyed face in the mirror so he donned a mask. Doctors marveled at 'his' therapy sessions. They said, he went after each one with the tenacity of a primordial beast. They said he was like a tornado, a whirlwind of activity.
He proved them all wrong, but by doing so, he paid the ultimate price that one in his position could pay. He was no longer Aaron anymore. This hulked up, burnt beast simply called himself 'The Hangman.' Fitting because Aaron was the man HANGING on for dear life. Now all he could do is HANG ON and hope to one day take the reins of HIS life back over again. Until then.......
I tried working with The Hangman. However, for the first few months, I felt something hang over me like a pall. There was an aspect of him that I could appreciate. There was a certain rage I could relate to, yet mine was different.
I had lost someone very dear to me and I needed an outlet for all this...misplaced aggression. I thought things...DID things that went against the very core of who I am. Was it wrong? Was I right? Or was this all...just different?
In time, we grew apart. We even hated each other. He felt I was holding him back from achieving a destiny that Aaron could NEVER acquire without HIM. And me? I hated him for masquerading in Aaron's body. I hated him for using everything that belonged to Aaron to build himself up. What cruel irony and what a sorry bastard for delivering such a personally rotten punchline.
It's been years since I've seen, let alone spoken, to The Hangman. Yet, this past Sunday, I did feel something come up in me that I haven't felt in a while. I needed answers. I needed understanding. Even if that meant I had to go to some God forsaken ranch out in Texas, I wouldn't be denied.
It was early when I got there. I knew where he'd be. Stepping through the barn, I saw him toss a bale of hay neatly into place as if it were a piece of crumpled up paper. He was a giant of a man at 6'9 and probably around 325 pounds. I didn't have to say anything. Looking back over his shoulder, the behemoth curled his lips into a sneer before chattering with his teeth. I always HATED how he chattered with his teeth...that sound always gave me a sickening feeling in my stomach that flip flopped mercilessly. As he heard me let out a strained breath he replied,
"Hmph. What's the matter Jack? You just don't seem....HAPPY to me at all. Heh-heh-heh."
Turning around to face me, he sized me up before striding past me almost as if I wasn't even there. I knew where he was going, smelled it on his breath as he passed by. One of the few things that The Hangman actually loved...Jack Daniels. Though my dread compelled me to get back into my van and head back the way I came, my feet carried me towards the front door of his house and inside to where he would be: at the table waiting for me to sit down and speak. What have I done?
I'd like to share a little bit about myself. Give a glimpse into another facet of my world. Why now? Well, some would say 'tis the season.' Yet, the real reason has nothing to do with it being close to a holiday at all. I've just had some time to reflect on my time here and my recent actions with a fellow WCF wrestler. Now, I'm not looking for absolution nor am I trying to offer up another explanation. I've already explained and I don't feel sorry about standing up for what I've always done. Instead, it's more about a generalized concern in the greater picture of things.
Wow. Listen to me ramble all around hither and yon...more hither which creates EVEN MORE yawn. Get it? See what I did just there? Play on words. I've always liked to kid around like that. Humor can be a great disarming weapon in the midst of trials and tribulations. Laughter always does good for the soul. If you laugh good and if you love good, then you are on the right track to live good. If you live good then the world is your proverbial oyster. Or burrito. Definitely burrito.
Anywho!
His name was Aaron Matthewson. Don't even bother trying to remember it, because you won't. After all, Aaron Matthewson won't ring any bells for anyone. You won't go looking for him on facebook, and even if you did, he
doesn't have an account. You won't find his name in a magazine or anywhere else. Much like his brother, Seth Matthewson, Aaron kept to himself as much as possible. He had dreams and I wanted to help him realize them. At the time, I was his manager. That's right. Before I stepped INSIDE the ring, I learned everything I could OUTSIDE of it. Me and Aaron made each other better or so I thought. Aaron is a good name...a strong name.
We spent the better part of two years traveling all over the United States. Hell, we even went to Japan on occasion, as well as Canada and Mexico. He was so young. Full of promise. Full of potential. What? Did I say something wrong? Ohhhh, I used that word didn't I? I used that very bad word called 'potential.' Well, it's true that he had it and I know because a major promotion came calling for him. He was on the cusp of realizing his lifelong dream.
Happily ever after time? He realizes it and the story ends right? YAY, now let's get silly. Let's do something hilarious and over the top and....wait. It's different. It's what I fight for. It's what I'd die for. It should've been ME. You were too young Aaron. You weren't ready for that moment when you're making deals with the devil for another breath, another second. The accident, it took so much from you and, I never told you this, but it took something from me too. For a long while, I lost my smile because I lost my closest friend. I lost my SMILE damnit! Damn you Aaron.
How do you lose something that's as natural as breathing? You don't forget it, that's for sure. You don't make the CONSCIOUS decision to just say 'fuck it.' It's not some remote that you later find in the next room. It's like a lover though, you have to have faith that if you should somehow have it leave you...it'll come back. And that's almost what Aaron did. Confused yet? Take another shot. It'll help take the edge off.
You see, Aaron went away. Metaphorically speaking, yeah, he died. Doctors told him he'd never walk again. He was burned and he was broken. Sometimes a broken man is nothing but pieces until he finds the way to put himself back together again. Even then, the pieces never fit the same way again. Puzzled? That's a pun. There's your moment to laugh. Tragic humor at it's best if I do have to say so myself and since this is my fucking monologue it is the best.
Aaron Matthewson gave way to a force of nature born from necessity, panic, and a hint of hopelessness. In that dark hour, Aaron would be whatever he NEEDED to be even if it meant he wouldn't be himself. This new and 'improved' being couldn't even stand to look at his destroyed face in the mirror so he donned a mask. Doctors marveled at 'his' therapy sessions. They said, he went after each one with the tenacity of a primordial beast. They said he was like a tornado, a whirlwind of activity.
He proved them all wrong, but by doing so, he paid the ultimate price that one in his position could pay. He was no longer Aaron anymore. This hulked up, burnt beast simply called himself 'The Hangman.' Fitting because Aaron was the man HANGING on for dear life. Now all he could do is HANG ON and hope to one day take the reins of HIS life back over again. Until then.......
I tried working with The Hangman. However, for the first few months, I felt something hang over me like a pall. There was an aspect of him that I could appreciate. There was a certain rage I could relate to, yet mine was different.
I had lost someone very dear to me and I needed an outlet for all this...misplaced aggression. I thought things...DID things that went against the very core of who I am. Was it wrong? Was I right? Or was this all...just different?
In time, we grew apart. We even hated each other. He felt I was holding him back from achieving a destiny that Aaron could NEVER acquire without HIM. And me? I hated him for masquerading in Aaron's body. I hated him for using everything that belonged to Aaron to build himself up. What cruel irony and what a sorry bastard for delivering such a personally rotten punchline.
It's been years since I've seen, let alone spoken, to The Hangman. Yet, this past Sunday, I did feel something come up in me that I haven't felt in a while. I needed answers. I needed understanding. Even if that meant I had to go to some God forsaken ranch out in Texas, I wouldn't be denied.
It was early when I got there. I knew where he'd be. Stepping through the barn, I saw him toss a bale of hay neatly into place as if it were a piece of crumpled up paper. He was a giant of a man at 6'9 and probably around 325 pounds. I didn't have to say anything. Looking back over his shoulder, the behemoth curled his lips into a sneer before chattering with his teeth. I always HATED how he chattered with his teeth...that sound always gave me a sickening feeling in my stomach that flip flopped mercilessly. As he heard me let out a strained breath he replied,
"Hmph. What's the matter Jack? You just don't seem....HAPPY to me at all. Heh-heh-heh."
Turning around to face me, he sized me up before striding past me almost as if I wasn't even there. I knew where he was going, smelled it on his breath as he passed by. One of the few things that The Hangman actually loved...Jack Daniels. Though my dread compelled me to get back into my van and head back the way I came, my feet carried me towards the front door of his house and inside to where he would be: at the table waiting for me to sit down and speak. What have I done?
