Post by Danny Vice on Jan 2, 2008 17:50:54 GMT -5
Danny Vice: BIOHAZARD!
Danny Vice is seated in his office inside his home in San Diego, reading a fax sent over by the WCF offices regarding the second round of the GWC Clas...WCF Classic.
Jimmy Vice: Hey man, that isn't that bad. It could be way worse.
Danny Vice: Worse than Biohazard? Worse than an undefeated, untied, and unstoppable force? A man made literally out of toxic waste, whose pure existence counters the natural laws of physics, geometry, anthropology, and religion? Worse you say? Did I hear you correctly?
Jimmy Vice: You could be facing Skyler again. Or Creeping Death.
Danny crumples up the fax transmission and tosses it into the trash can. He leans back on his plush chair and kicks his new Nike training boots on top of his oak desk, right next to his Apple iBook. Commercialism rules.
Jimmy Vice: Either of those options has to be worse than facing Biohazard, right?
Danny Vice: No. Not at all. I know I can beat those guys. They are at least GUYS. HUMAN BEINGS. I'm facing a literal form of toxic waste. I don't want to go buy a Hazmat suit. This sucks. I can't believe Lerch would pull this shit. I work my ass off for this company, even open up my own in the WCF very image while he decides to go unload his babymaker on some broad, and this is how he repays me. With BIOHAZARD. I feel sick to my stomach right now.
Janie Vice: Danny, you're being ridiculous. Why do you think Biohazard will stop you from your dream.
Danny Vice: Janie. No one can stop Biohazard. Do you not watch the footage? His promos? Any of it? The guy steals merchandise from a store, covers the bagboy in toxic ooze, and leaves. Next, he steals 7 Christmas trees while beating up some worthless Boy Scout, and covers them in toxic ooze.
Janie Vice: I don't follow.
Danny Vice: Shit! The guy is a felon. A criminal. And he's still not only out on the streets, but performing in a wrestling federation, getting paid to do so, and you know why? The police can't even stop him! Don't you think a criminal like this would want to lay low and keep a low profile to not get caught? Of course, if this was a normal human being who had some sort of fear. But this isn't, this is Biohazard. He knows he can't be stopped. And if someone was literally stealing stuff, then maming their victims with TOXIC OOZE you think the government would do something about it. National Guard? No. The Army? No. FBI? CIA? FDA? SEC? No. No. No. No. No one does anything. No one can do anything. It's Biohazard. I don't even think Peter Venkman of Ghostbusters fame faced anything that is even remotely as destructive and devastating as Biohazard, and you expect me, Danny Vice, to stop him. Fuck.
Jimmy Vice: So that's it? You're going to give up?
Danny closes his eyes and doesn't answer.
Janie Vice: Danny?
Closes them tighter.
Jimmy Vice: What are you doing?
Danny slowly opens his eyes.
Danny Vice: Praying for my soul. Care to join?
Danny Vice is seated in his office inside his home in San Diego, reading a fax sent over by the WCF offices regarding the second round of the GWC Clas...WCF Classic.
Jimmy Vice: Hey man, that isn't that bad. It could be way worse.
Danny Vice: Worse than Biohazard? Worse than an undefeated, untied, and unstoppable force? A man made literally out of toxic waste, whose pure existence counters the natural laws of physics, geometry, anthropology, and religion? Worse you say? Did I hear you correctly?
Jimmy Vice: You could be facing Skyler again. Or Creeping Death.
Danny crumples up the fax transmission and tosses it into the trash can. He leans back on his plush chair and kicks his new Nike training boots on top of his oak desk, right next to his Apple iBook. Commercialism rules.
Jimmy Vice: Either of those options has to be worse than facing Biohazard, right?
Danny Vice: No. Not at all. I know I can beat those guys. They are at least GUYS. HUMAN BEINGS. I'm facing a literal form of toxic waste. I don't want to go buy a Hazmat suit. This sucks. I can't believe Lerch would pull this shit. I work my ass off for this company, even open up my own in the WCF very image while he decides to go unload his babymaker on some broad, and this is how he repays me. With BIOHAZARD. I feel sick to my stomach right now.
Janie Vice: Danny, you're being ridiculous. Why do you think Biohazard will stop you from your dream.
Danny Vice: Janie. No one can stop Biohazard. Do you not watch the footage? His promos? Any of it? The guy steals merchandise from a store, covers the bagboy in toxic ooze, and leaves. Next, he steals 7 Christmas trees while beating up some worthless Boy Scout, and covers them in toxic ooze.
Janie Vice: I don't follow.
Danny Vice: Shit! The guy is a felon. A criminal. And he's still not only out on the streets, but performing in a wrestling federation, getting paid to do so, and you know why? The police can't even stop him! Don't you think a criminal like this would want to lay low and keep a low profile to not get caught? Of course, if this was a normal human being who had some sort of fear. But this isn't, this is Biohazard. He knows he can't be stopped. And if someone was literally stealing stuff, then maming their victims with TOXIC OOZE you think the government would do something about it. National Guard? No. The Army? No. FBI? CIA? FDA? SEC? No. No. No. No. No one does anything. No one can do anything. It's Biohazard. I don't even think Peter Venkman of Ghostbusters fame faced anything that is even remotely as destructive and devastating as Biohazard, and you expect me, Danny Vice, to stop him. Fuck.
Jimmy Vice: So that's it? You're going to give up?
Danny closes his eyes and doesn't answer.
Janie Vice: Danny?
Closes them tighter.
Jimmy Vice: What are you doing?
Danny slowly opens his eyes.
Danny Vice: Praying for my soul. Care to join?
