Post by Benjamin Atreyu on Sept 29, 2013 16:34:45 GMT -5
There isn’t much the world is truly prepared for, but one of the few things it can handle with absolute readiness is failure. In a lifetime of existence it is the one constant. The world has always been unsure how to handle itself. We pretend we have some idea of how it all works, but in the end we are all struggling to fool everyone into thinking we are in total control. So, in the end, it is just easier to believe that somewhere down-the-line that we will get found out and become dislodged from the act we have put on since birth, the idea that we know anything at all. Failure; the only equalizer, the one thing keeping us from acting like gods, the one thing keeping us alive.
“Do’ya fear death, Mista Atreyu?” Mr. Collins spoke with his grating southern drawl.
His office was an exercise in unabashed self-indulgence; pictures of exotic locations displayed openly with him standing in the frame valiantly, various knick-knacks collected during his various travels around the world, a olde-timey styled alcohol storing globe, a bookcase filled with the classic works of the some of the world’s greatest writers all untouched and placed behind glass, a modernist-esque design influenced marble-top desk, a thousand dollar suit hanging in the corner after having come fresh from the dry-cleaners, a Rolex watch twinkling in the light passing through the open blinds that display the gorgeous view of the ocean behind him, and the shit eating grin that tied it all together in a way that made the mafia jealous. He was a man of luxury, but more importantly, he was a man who knew how to get to a point where he could afford such luxury.
“Mista Atreyu?” he repeated a bit louder.
“Hmm?” Atreyu broke from his trance, enthralled by the pointless nature of every little trinket in the room. He didn’t envy any of it, he found it all quite amusing. There was no practicality in Mr. Collins’ world, he was simply a man who loved to look good, but that is not to say he doesn’t match it with extraordinary thinking, it just means he played a game that Atreyu often despised; the game of appearances. A man of his intellect shouldn’t try to measure his legacy in the number of cars he could buy, he should be trying to measure it in the way his name would end up being printed on the crust of the Earth after his slipped from this life, so the act of frivolous purchase just made Atreyu chuckle.
“I was askin’ya a question,” he replied, smiling his ever-so-practiced smile.
“I apologize. Would you mind repeating it?”
“Not at all, I was just ponderin’ whetha or not a man in your position feared his inevitable end.”
“Is this the reason you called me to come all the way down to California, to have some sort of philosophical discussion about death?”
“Well, I sure-as-hell didn’t call’ya down here to ogle mah office, but no, you’re here for a different, albeit not completely unrelated, reason. See, I have little birdies all over the place, and one little birdie has informed me that the board of representatives is lookin’ to oust’ya from ya pretty little nest.”
“What?”
“See, being a member of the board, I imagine the reason I was kept ill-informed of this decision is because they figua’d that, if I had knowledge of such a vote getting’ ready to take place, that I would strike pre-emptively to disrupt it, bein’ a longtime friend of yours and all.”
“And?”
“And well, being that I do know, that’s exactly what I plan to do, but before I can do so, I need you to have complete trust in me.”
“It would help if I knew what your plan was, Mister Collins.”
“All in due time, Mista Atreyu, all in due time.”
-.-.-
March 6, 1836
Well men, things don’t seem to be in our favor. I’ve sent countless letters for supplies and men, but we’ve managed to gather less than a hundred reinforcements, leaving us with only one hundred and eighty-six men to face against the massive Mexican Army of fifteen hundred, but I assure you that no matter how bad it looks out there, we must keep fighting. We drove them back across the border and out of text only a few months before hand and now it is our duty as soldiers to hold this position until more can aid us in this fight. This is the time to raise our guns high and fight without fear or doubt, to believe what we are doing is ultimately just and right. Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna has referred our fort in this old Spanish Religious Outpost as a, and I quote, “irregular fortification hardly worth of the name.” Well, now I think its time we prove him wrong by giving those Mexican soldiers one hell of a fight.
Sir, there are way too many of them out there, we don’t stand a chance. Goddamn it, I don’t want to hear any of that bullshit. There are THOUSANDS of them out there! AND WE HAVE GOD ON OUR SIDE! They could send all of Mexico on this fort and we will use the force of our heavenly father to smash every last one of them. We will fight, we will shoot, and we will remain strong until every soldier that stands out there this morning is riddled with bullets. We will not stop until there is nothing left to fight! Sir, the reinforcements we have were meant to remove our artillery, the government refuses to send more men because they think the fight is hopeless. Then I’ll die here before I give it up to the enemy! The salvation of Texas depends in great measure on keeping Béxar out of the hands of the enemy. It serves as the frontier picquet guard, and if it were in the possession of Santa Anna, there is no stronghold from which to repel him in his march toward the Sabine. This fight isn’t just for the sake of survival, it is for the sake of the survival of all of Texas. But sir… If I hear one more goddamn word out of your mouth, I will hang you for treason, do you understand? …yes sir…
Finally, I just would like to say that I can only feel gratitude that you men have decided to stand beside me and William Travis to defend this spot and even if we go down fighting, it will be an honor to fight alongside every last one of you. Sir, they’re approaching! Ready your rifles, men! Tonight, we fight for our people!
-.-.-
“I can’t believe those fuckers are pushing me out of my own company,” Benjamin spat as he sat back in his chair, peering out towards the ocean view, his fingers rapping against the arm of the chair tap tap tap tap, tap tap tap tap.
“You never did answer meh question, Mista Atreyu.”
“Whether or not I feared death?”
“That would be the one.”
“Some days, when I feel like I’m close enough to death.”
“When you’re out there in that ring?”
“That’s the funny things. No, I actually feel closest to death in my office. I feel no sense of real purpose when I’m signing all those papers, looking over yearly expenses, and all that noise. I feel like I could easily just slip off into the grave like that, and that’s when I fear it most.”
“So, why are ya so set in keepin’ the company? You’ve got plenty of money, you could just jump ship and carry on doin’ whatever it is that pleases ya. So, why are ya tryin’ so hard to stay in the chair you hate ever-so-much?”
“Because it’s my legacy.”
‘No, no, no, Mista Atreyu. That’s where you’re wrong; it’s your father’s legacy, he just gave it to you, because that’s how a legacy works, you need someone to keep it in working order. No offence intended, but your father put you in that chair, because he wanted a maintenance man. Your legacy is what makes YOUR NAME the focus of the conversations, but I’m sorry to say this company will always be your father’s.”
“Is that why they’re doing this, because I’m not my father?”
“Nothing of the sort. In fact, when you were focused, you ran this company just like your father.”
“What do you mean, when I was focused?”
“Oh, don’t take no offence to it. The truth is, the board wants you out, because they know the company is not your priority anymore. “
“What do they think is my main priority now?”
“Your career in the ring. See, you may look at it as a way to get your voice out there, to keep your from being bored, or whatever it is you think you’re doing, but the truth is we all see what it really is…”
“and what would that be?”
“A chance at a real legacy. They’re scared that once you figure out you’ll only ever be your own man in that ring, that you’ll put the company to the side and let it shrivel up until its barely making a profit.”
“This company is my priority.”
“You’re hopeless, absolutely hopeless. Do you understand that?” Mister Collins asked as he sighed and sat back in his chair, “You’re living in a fantasy world with two Santas; one that will allow you to define yourself as an individual and one that will allow you to allow you to keep your father’s dying wish, but the catch is you’re living in a world where there isn’t even one Santa and the clock is slowly ticking, and whether or not you actually think your priority is with the company is irrelevant, they are still going to vote you out. You are being faced with an ultimatum, a red pill/blue pill scenario if you will, and it’s time to either make the choice or have the choice made for you.”
“It’s not a decision I’m prepared to make.”
“Know what, I might be out of place entirely with this, but let me tell you a story. When I was around the age of about eighteen, my father came to me and gave me one of the hardest decisions of my life; I could either come work for him and help preserve the family name, working as one of many in a long line of Collins to be under our company name, or I could be my own man and find a different company to work at once I graduated from college. He was giving me the choice between my family and my independence. If I chose to work for him, I would have job security no matter what, but I would always be my father’s son. However, if I worked somewhere else, I would have a chance to become something defined outside of my family name, but there would be no guarantee that anything would come of it.
“’Jimmy,’ he said to me, ‘you need to decide now, because if I let you wait, there is a good chance you might get scared by both opportunities and end up like your brother, fighting a sucker’s battle in the army.’ You have to imagine what a decision like that did to me at the time. My heart was racing, my head was spinning, and it seemed any choice I made would be the wrong one. I wasn’t even in college yet and my father was forcing me to decide my life right there on the front porch of our house.
“See, he posed the same question to my brother only five years earlier, but he had given my brother a day to think it over, which was his big mistake, because my brother got scared of the idea of having his whole life paved out for him already and he decided to high tail it to the recruiting station. So, now here I was, with the knowledge of my brother’s desertion, looking my father, the man I’ve always deeply respected, in the eye and he wants me to make the decision right there. The problem was, I wasn’t thinking of which to choose, I was thinking about how to get out of choosing right then; feigning sickness, telling him I heard mom calling, or maybe even just running off. There wasn’t a single part of me that was ready to make that choice, but there was no way out of it.
“’Damn it, son,’ he started yelling at me, ‘you need to pick now. Your entire life is stand right before you as we speak, there isn’t any time to hesitate.’ It was the scariest goddamn thing I had ever experienced in my entire life, and that’s including the time I went mountain climbing with that crazy fucking uncle of mine. My father meant it and I could only imagine what he might do if I held out any longer.
“So I said, ‘Dad, I want to be my own, man. I love this family, but how can I be sure I’m making the right decisions if you’re always there for me?’ Well, turns out that was the wrong answer, my dad was pissed as all hell. He started acting as if I had stabbed him in the back; all ‘my own son…” this, and “my own son…” that. It was hell at first, but then it just started pissing me off, so much so that I was glad that I chose a different route.
“Eventually, I graduated from college, got my first job, made sure it was in the same industry as my father’s company, and the rest is history. Eventually, I was top dog in my own company, defining myself exactly how I wanted to and if a matter of a couple years, I bought my father’s company and gave him the boot. You should have seen his face that day, it was the greatest thing I had ever seen. No ranting, no raving, just silence. I walked over to him, shook his hand, thanked him for all the work he had done, and told him there was always a job open for him in my company. Unfortunately, the only job I could find for him was a janitorial job, the poor bastard.
“You see what I’m saying? I took a risk, traded in a guarantee for a possibility and it worked out for me. It could have easily gone the other way, but at least I would have gone down swinging, and to me that’s worth far more than security.”
“I don’t know.”
“Wanna know what I think your problem is?”
“Oh, I can’t wait to hear this.”
“You’re scared you aren’t as good of a wrestler as you use to think you were. You’re scared this security you have is the only thing holding you up and you might end up collapsing in on yourself if you take it away. Despite all the shit you talk about Sarah Twilight, Jonny Fly, and so on and so forth, you think that they might get a leg up on you, and if they do that and you don’t have your father’s company to support you, you might just crumble under the pressure.”
“The company has no connection to my in ring performance…”
“Oh, but I think it does. See, it’s strange, but I think the only thing keeping you stable is the leash this company provides. You’ve always lived your life in this sort of chaotic mess, but you could always go back to your office, sign a few papers, find stability, all right before diving head first into that uncontrollable variable that is the rest of your life. If you didn’t have the company to fall back on, there would be no break in the chaos. Your days would fuse with each others, the distinction between night and day would be nothing more than where the sun was positioned, your understanding of time would diminish, the world would slide right out of your fingertips, leaving you helplessly cascading down into an abyss where you would be unable to escape.”
“Fuck you!”
“I’m just speaking the truth, don’t confuse that for being an enemy or you might find that life will get awfully difficult awfully quick. See, I’m only telling you what you need to hear, because I want to help. If you want a yes man who will agree to every stupid fucking choice you make, then go ahead and get one, but don’t you fucking cuss me out just because I brought some truth to the table.”
“…Well, then what should I do?”
“I can’t tell you what to do, I can only make suggestions. What you need to do is stop acting like this is what you want and start realizing what it is you truly want from life.”
“…You said you had a plan?”
“Only if you trust me completely.”
“…I do…”
-.-.-
August 23, 1941
We fight for Germany! We fight for Mother Russia! Those red bastards will never beat us! Those Nazi fucks will feel the boot of the Motherland! We will capture Stalingrad for the Fuhrer! We will not let our General Secretary down, we will hold our ground! Two hundred and seventy thousand of our men will march into their borders and take that city by any means necessary. If they so much as get an inch we will push them back a mile. They only red that will be left in that city will be their blood as it flows down every road we step through. No Kraut bastards will be left alive!
We will win! We will kill them all! Because this is the war where they will see our greatness!
-.-.-
“Ladies and Gentlmen,” Atreyu began, “I have been made aware of your attempt to oust me of my position as CEO of this company. I am not mad, I am very aware of your concerns for this company, and I share those very concerns. It would be unfair of me to continue to lead this company if it was all too apparent that my focus was not on helping it prosper. So, as of today, I am resigning as CEO of Leo Inc. and my replacement, effective immediately, will be Mr. James Collins.”
It was the perfect plan. Atreyu knew if he let the board decide, he would be out of the picture completely, but by usurping their chance to vote and appointing his replacement beforehand, he was assuring his place in the company by placing Mr. Collins as the figure head whom would refer to Atreyu for all decisions. Atreyu could continue to oversee his father’s legacy, continue to have the control he need to steady his life, but without the risk of letting drowning in his father’s image. He could be his own man and keep the security that he admittedly needed.
He looked over all the board members and saw their perplexed expressions, obviously unsure how to take the news of Atreyu’s sudden replacement in a company he had ran for years. Mr. Collins stood to his feet and clapped in a sort of one-man-ovation to Atreyu’s self-less decision. He walked up to Atreyu and shook his hand in front of the shocked board of representatives.
“Thank you, Mista Atreyu,” he began, “I know it must be difficult to let go of something you and your father had both worked so hard to help nurture and grow, but I assure you, that you are leaving the company in safe hands. Hands of someone who has the time, focus, and dedication needed to make sure the whole ship will be running in tip top shape. I also want you to know that there will always be a job open for you here.” Benjamin smiled, feeling almost indestructible at the moment as he wish all of his cohorts farewell and exited the room as a new man.
A few days passed and Atreyu was dead set in the middle of his training for War when he received a call from one of the members of the board of representatives, Boris Penderecki.
“Hello Mr. Penderecki, what may I owe the pleasure of this call,” Atreyu spoke with a cheerful demeanor.
“Mr. Atreyu, I will don’t understand your reason for leaving, I’ve been trying to reach you since you left, but you;ve been impossible to contact.”
“I did what I thought was best, besides you all were getting ready to vote on it anyways and I already knew how it would turn out.”
“But Mr. Atreyu, there were no plans for any vote to take place, no of any sort.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The board has been incredibly confident of your leadership, even with your wrestling career. If there was any concern, we would have brought it up directly to you.”
There will always be a job for you here. The words rang out loudly in his head. The only job I had for him was a janitorial one, that poor bastard. It all started to make sense, the biggest mistake Atreyu had ever made had suddenly come into focus. I just want to help. His mouth went dry and his skin ran cold as his tragic error was placed right in front of him, There was no security, there was no stability, there was no two santas, there was no victory. In the end, there was only failure, the one constant in life.
All his life, he thought would be ready for war. To be able to destroy what stood in his way, it never occurred to him that the war was already over.
“Do’ya fear death, Mista Atreyu?” Mr. Collins spoke with his grating southern drawl.
His office was an exercise in unabashed self-indulgence; pictures of exotic locations displayed openly with him standing in the frame valiantly, various knick-knacks collected during his various travels around the world, a olde-timey styled alcohol storing globe, a bookcase filled with the classic works of the some of the world’s greatest writers all untouched and placed behind glass, a modernist-esque design influenced marble-top desk, a thousand dollar suit hanging in the corner after having come fresh from the dry-cleaners, a Rolex watch twinkling in the light passing through the open blinds that display the gorgeous view of the ocean behind him, and the shit eating grin that tied it all together in a way that made the mafia jealous. He was a man of luxury, but more importantly, he was a man who knew how to get to a point where he could afford such luxury.
“Mista Atreyu?” he repeated a bit louder.
“Hmm?” Atreyu broke from his trance, enthralled by the pointless nature of every little trinket in the room. He didn’t envy any of it, he found it all quite amusing. There was no practicality in Mr. Collins’ world, he was simply a man who loved to look good, but that is not to say he doesn’t match it with extraordinary thinking, it just means he played a game that Atreyu often despised; the game of appearances. A man of his intellect shouldn’t try to measure his legacy in the number of cars he could buy, he should be trying to measure it in the way his name would end up being printed on the crust of the Earth after his slipped from this life, so the act of frivolous purchase just made Atreyu chuckle.
“I was askin’ya a question,” he replied, smiling his ever-so-practiced smile.
“I apologize. Would you mind repeating it?”
“Not at all, I was just ponderin’ whetha or not a man in your position feared his inevitable end.”
“Is this the reason you called me to come all the way down to California, to have some sort of philosophical discussion about death?”
“Well, I sure-as-hell didn’t call’ya down here to ogle mah office, but no, you’re here for a different, albeit not completely unrelated, reason. See, I have little birdies all over the place, and one little birdie has informed me that the board of representatives is lookin’ to oust’ya from ya pretty little nest.”
“What?”
“See, being a member of the board, I imagine the reason I was kept ill-informed of this decision is because they figua’d that, if I had knowledge of such a vote getting’ ready to take place, that I would strike pre-emptively to disrupt it, bein’ a longtime friend of yours and all.”
“And?”
“And well, being that I do know, that’s exactly what I plan to do, but before I can do so, I need you to have complete trust in me.”
“It would help if I knew what your plan was, Mister Collins.”
“All in due time, Mista Atreyu, all in due time.”
-.-.-
March 6, 1836
Well men, things don’t seem to be in our favor. I’ve sent countless letters for supplies and men, but we’ve managed to gather less than a hundred reinforcements, leaving us with only one hundred and eighty-six men to face against the massive Mexican Army of fifteen hundred, but I assure you that no matter how bad it looks out there, we must keep fighting. We drove them back across the border and out of text only a few months before hand and now it is our duty as soldiers to hold this position until more can aid us in this fight. This is the time to raise our guns high and fight without fear or doubt, to believe what we are doing is ultimately just and right. Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna has referred our fort in this old Spanish Religious Outpost as a, and I quote, “irregular fortification hardly worth of the name.” Well, now I think its time we prove him wrong by giving those Mexican soldiers one hell of a fight.
Sir, there are way too many of them out there, we don’t stand a chance. Goddamn it, I don’t want to hear any of that bullshit. There are THOUSANDS of them out there! AND WE HAVE GOD ON OUR SIDE! They could send all of Mexico on this fort and we will use the force of our heavenly father to smash every last one of them. We will fight, we will shoot, and we will remain strong until every soldier that stands out there this morning is riddled with bullets. We will not stop until there is nothing left to fight! Sir, the reinforcements we have were meant to remove our artillery, the government refuses to send more men because they think the fight is hopeless. Then I’ll die here before I give it up to the enemy! The salvation of Texas depends in great measure on keeping Béxar out of the hands of the enemy. It serves as the frontier picquet guard, and if it were in the possession of Santa Anna, there is no stronghold from which to repel him in his march toward the Sabine. This fight isn’t just for the sake of survival, it is for the sake of the survival of all of Texas. But sir… If I hear one more goddamn word out of your mouth, I will hang you for treason, do you understand? …yes sir…
Finally, I just would like to say that I can only feel gratitude that you men have decided to stand beside me and William Travis to defend this spot and even if we go down fighting, it will be an honor to fight alongside every last one of you. Sir, they’re approaching! Ready your rifles, men! Tonight, we fight for our people!
-.-.-
“I can’t believe those fuckers are pushing me out of my own company,” Benjamin spat as he sat back in his chair, peering out towards the ocean view, his fingers rapping against the arm of the chair tap tap tap tap, tap tap tap tap.
“You never did answer meh question, Mista Atreyu.”
“Whether or not I feared death?”
“That would be the one.”
“Some days, when I feel like I’m close enough to death.”
“When you’re out there in that ring?”
“That’s the funny things. No, I actually feel closest to death in my office. I feel no sense of real purpose when I’m signing all those papers, looking over yearly expenses, and all that noise. I feel like I could easily just slip off into the grave like that, and that’s when I fear it most.”
“So, why are ya so set in keepin’ the company? You’ve got plenty of money, you could just jump ship and carry on doin’ whatever it is that pleases ya. So, why are ya tryin’ so hard to stay in the chair you hate ever-so-much?”
“Because it’s my legacy.”
‘No, no, no, Mista Atreyu. That’s where you’re wrong; it’s your father’s legacy, he just gave it to you, because that’s how a legacy works, you need someone to keep it in working order. No offence intended, but your father put you in that chair, because he wanted a maintenance man. Your legacy is what makes YOUR NAME the focus of the conversations, but I’m sorry to say this company will always be your father’s.”
“Is that why they’re doing this, because I’m not my father?”
“Nothing of the sort. In fact, when you were focused, you ran this company just like your father.”
“What do you mean, when I was focused?”
“Oh, don’t take no offence to it. The truth is, the board wants you out, because they know the company is not your priority anymore. “
“What do they think is my main priority now?”
“Your career in the ring. See, you may look at it as a way to get your voice out there, to keep your from being bored, or whatever it is you think you’re doing, but the truth is we all see what it really is…”
“and what would that be?”
“A chance at a real legacy. They’re scared that once you figure out you’ll only ever be your own man in that ring, that you’ll put the company to the side and let it shrivel up until its barely making a profit.”
“This company is my priority.”
“You’re hopeless, absolutely hopeless. Do you understand that?” Mister Collins asked as he sighed and sat back in his chair, “You’re living in a fantasy world with two Santas; one that will allow you to define yourself as an individual and one that will allow you to allow you to keep your father’s dying wish, but the catch is you’re living in a world where there isn’t even one Santa and the clock is slowly ticking, and whether or not you actually think your priority is with the company is irrelevant, they are still going to vote you out. You are being faced with an ultimatum, a red pill/blue pill scenario if you will, and it’s time to either make the choice or have the choice made for you.”
“It’s not a decision I’m prepared to make.”
“Know what, I might be out of place entirely with this, but let me tell you a story. When I was around the age of about eighteen, my father came to me and gave me one of the hardest decisions of my life; I could either come work for him and help preserve the family name, working as one of many in a long line of Collins to be under our company name, or I could be my own man and find a different company to work at once I graduated from college. He was giving me the choice between my family and my independence. If I chose to work for him, I would have job security no matter what, but I would always be my father’s son. However, if I worked somewhere else, I would have a chance to become something defined outside of my family name, but there would be no guarantee that anything would come of it.
“’Jimmy,’ he said to me, ‘you need to decide now, because if I let you wait, there is a good chance you might get scared by both opportunities and end up like your brother, fighting a sucker’s battle in the army.’ You have to imagine what a decision like that did to me at the time. My heart was racing, my head was spinning, and it seemed any choice I made would be the wrong one. I wasn’t even in college yet and my father was forcing me to decide my life right there on the front porch of our house.
“See, he posed the same question to my brother only five years earlier, but he had given my brother a day to think it over, which was his big mistake, because my brother got scared of the idea of having his whole life paved out for him already and he decided to high tail it to the recruiting station. So, now here I was, with the knowledge of my brother’s desertion, looking my father, the man I’ve always deeply respected, in the eye and he wants me to make the decision right there. The problem was, I wasn’t thinking of which to choose, I was thinking about how to get out of choosing right then; feigning sickness, telling him I heard mom calling, or maybe even just running off. There wasn’t a single part of me that was ready to make that choice, but there was no way out of it.
“’Damn it, son,’ he started yelling at me, ‘you need to pick now. Your entire life is stand right before you as we speak, there isn’t any time to hesitate.’ It was the scariest goddamn thing I had ever experienced in my entire life, and that’s including the time I went mountain climbing with that crazy fucking uncle of mine. My father meant it and I could only imagine what he might do if I held out any longer.
“So I said, ‘Dad, I want to be my own, man. I love this family, but how can I be sure I’m making the right decisions if you’re always there for me?’ Well, turns out that was the wrong answer, my dad was pissed as all hell. He started acting as if I had stabbed him in the back; all ‘my own son…” this, and “my own son…” that. It was hell at first, but then it just started pissing me off, so much so that I was glad that I chose a different route.
“Eventually, I graduated from college, got my first job, made sure it was in the same industry as my father’s company, and the rest is history. Eventually, I was top dog in my own company, defining myself exactly how I wanted to and if a matter of a couple years, I bought my father’s company and gave him the boot. You should have seen his face that day, it was the greatest thing I had ever seen. No ranting, no raving, just silence. I walked over to him, shook his hand, thanked him for all the work he had done, and told him there was always a job open for him in my company. Unfortunately, the only job I could find for him was a janitorial job, the poor bastard.
“You see what I’m saying? I took a risk, traded in a guarantee for a possibility and it worked out for me. It could have easily gone the other way, but at least I would have gone down swinging, and to me that’s worth far more than security.”
“I don’t know.”
“Wanna know what I think your problem is?”
“Oh, I can’t wait to hear this.”
“You’re scared you aren’t as good of a wrestler as you use to think you were. You’re scared this security you have is the only thing holding you up and you might end up collapsing in on yourself if you take it away. Despite all the shit you talk about Sarah Twilight, Jonny Fly, and so on and so forth, you think that they might get a leg up on you, and if they do that and you don’t have your father’s company to support you, you might just crumble under the pressure.”
“The company has no connection to my in ring performance…”
“Oh, but I think it does. See, it’s strange, but I think the only thing keeping you stable is the leash this company provides. You’ve always lived your life in this sort of chaotic mess, but you could always go back to your office, sign a few papers, find stability, all right before diving head first into that uncontrollable variable that is the rest of your life. If you didn’t have the company to fall back on, there would be no break in the chaos. Your days would fuse with each others, the distinction between night and day would be nothing more than where the sun was positioned, your understanding of time would diminish, the world would slide right out of your fingertips, leaving you helplessly cascading down into an abyss where you would be unable to escape.”
“Fuck you!”
“I’m just speaking the truth, don’t confuse that for being an enemy or you might find that life will get awfully difficult awfully quick. See, I’m only telling you what you need to hear, because I want to help. If you want a yes man who will agree to every stupid fucking choice you make, then go ahead and get one, but don’t you fucking cuss me out just because I brought some truth to the table.”
“…Well, then what should I do?”
“I can’t tell you what to do, I can only make suggestions. What you need to do is stop acting like this is what you want and start realizing what it is you truly want from life.”
“…You said you had a plan?”
“Only if you trust me completely.”
“…I do…”
-.-.-
August 23, 1941
We fight for Germany! We fight for Mother Russia! Those red bastards will never beat us! Those Nazi fucks will feel the boot of the Motherland! We will capture Stalingrad for the Fuhrer! We will not let our General Secretary down, we will hold our ground! Two hundred and seventy thousand of our men will march into their borders and take that city by any means necessary. If they so much as get an inch we will push them back a mile. They only red that will be left in that city will be their blood as it flows down every road we step through. No Kraut bastards will be left alive!
We will win! We will kill them all! Because this is the war where they will see our greatness!
-.-.-
“Ladies and Gentlmen,” Atreyu began, “I have been made aware of your attempt to oust me of my position as CEO of this company. I am not mad, I am very aware of your concerns for this company, and I share those very concerns. It would be unfair of me to continue to lead this company if it was all too apparent that my focus was not on helping it prosper. So, as of today, I am resigning as CEO of Leo Inc. and my replacement, effective immediately, will be Mr. James Collins.”
It was the perfect plan. Atreyu knew if he let the board decide, he would be out of the picture completely, but by usurping their chance to vote and appointing his replacement beforehand, he was assuring his place in the company by placing Mr. Collins as the figure head whom would refer to Atreyu for all decisions. Atreyu could continue to oversee his father’s legacy, continue to have the control he need to steady his life, but without the risk of letting drowning in his father’s image. He could be his own man and keep the security that he admittedly needed.
He looked over all the board members and saw their perplexed expressions, obviously unsure how to take the news of Atreyu’s sudden replacement in a company he had ran for years. Mr. Collins stood to his feet and clapped in a sort of one-man-ovation to Atreyu’s self-less decision. He walked up to Atreyu and shook his hand in front of the shocked board of representatives.
“Thank you, Mista Atreyu,” he began, “I know it must be difficult to let go of something you and your father had both worked so hard to help nurture and grow, but I assure you, that you are leaving the company in safe hands. Hands of someone who has the time, focus, and dedication needed to make sure the whole ship will be running in tip top shape. I also want you to know that there will always be a job open for you here.” Benjamin smiled, feeling almost indestructible at the moment as he wish all of his cohorts farewell and exited the room as a new man.
A few days passed and Atreyu was dead set in the middle of his training for War when he received a call from one of the members of the board of representatives, Boris Penderecki.
“Hello Mr. Penderecki, what may I owe the pleasure of this call,” Atreyu spoke with a cheerful demeanor.
“Mr. Atreyu, I will don’t understand your reason for leaving, I’ve been trying to reach you since you left, but you;ve been impossible to contact.”
“I did what I thought was best, besides you all were getting ready to vote on it anyways and I already knew how it would turn out.”
“But Mr. Atreyu, there were no plans for any vote to take place, no of any sort.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The board has been incredibly confident of your leadership, even with your wrestling career. If there was any concern, we would have brought it up directly to you.”
There will always be a job for you here. The words rang out loudly in his head. The only job I had for him was a janitorial one, that poor bastard. It all started to make sense, the biggest mistake Atreyu had ever made had suddenly come into focus. I just want to help. His mouth went dry and his skin ran cold as his tragic error was placed right in front of him, There was no security, there was no stability, there was no two santas, there was no victory. In the end, there was only failure, the one constant in life.
All his life, he thought would be ready for war. To be able to destroy what stood in his way, it never occurred to him that the war was already over.
