Post by Steve Orbit on Sept 29, 2013 11:48:00 GMT -5
NO STORY
"What are we doin' this week, T?"
Orbit asked me.
Who am I? The writer of this.
Before I answer Steve's question, I wanna go over a few things.
Steve Orbit has had a lot of major things happen outside of the ring this year. I mean, huge, life altering stuff. Last year, Steve Orbit was more or less a carefree guy. He had access to all the money and women that a man could ever desire, through his relationship with his mentor, Golden Joey. He was beginning to live out his dream of becoming a professional wrestler-- positive things were happening for Steve. Really, the only dark spots in his life were the fact that he had never met his father, and the fact that his mother's murder was unsolved.
Both of those situations were resolved in 2013. He discovered the plot between Golden Joey and a crooked VICE cop to kill his mother. Orbit also met his father-- he was tricked into meeting him, and found out that he was just as much of a selfish asshole as he always imagined.
Orbit had a rocky, up and down relationship with an adult film star, Havana Ginger. Together, they bought a house. Orbit bought Nicholas Cage's private jet, he bought several cars. He's been a part of group projects, or "stables".
And let's not forget the fact that, looking over his first "run" with the WCF, Orbit was betrayed by almost every single person he allowed himself to get close to. Odin Balfore, Waylon Cash, Ana Valentine... these were people who the Mack blindly trusted out of his own good heart. Naturally, there were storylines and feuds following the betrayal.
All of this, week after week and month after month, all of these stories have been told as a way to develop Steve Orbit's character. I want you to know who Steve Orbit is, how he operates. What makes him tick. I want you to know that Steve Orbit has all the traits, all the emotions, all the characteristics of a living human being, and those are concrete, unchanging. His personality, his soul doesn't alter week to week whenever I feel like doing something different. Steve Orbit is real-- he can't change, no more than you or I could change who we are.
He's real because I made him real.
And that's why, Steve, I'm not telling another story about your life this week.
The story is already right in front of us.
The story is the match, the story is what's about to go down on Sunday. The story is wrestling. The story is Steve Orbit coming back for WAR.
Jonny Fly.
Sarah Twilight.
Logan.
Nathan von Libert.
A list of the front-runners for WAR this year? Sure, some would say that. Upon further examination, one would realize that everyone on this list has been DEFEATED by The Mack. Who else around here can say that? Huh? There's ONE other person who's pinned Fly. There's a small handful who've beaten Sarah Twilight. Logan... well, he's had his ups and downs, but he's on this list because he's won War THREE times, and is the most decorated wrestler in the history of the company, period-- and Orbit beat him. NvL is the current World Champion, and although my recent loss of the World Title to Nathan still stings a bit... Orbit has pinned Nathan von Liebert in the past, and he can do it again. He WILL do it again.
Steve Orbit has turned 2013 into HIS year. He's had major wins, as I just mentioned. He's won a World Title. His stock with the fans has risen significantly. Simply put, the boy is on fire. Now, when I was in the middle of my white-hot streak earlier this year, I thought it was leading up to a World Title run. It did, but it was abruptly cut short by Nathan von Liebert at Revenge. What was supposed to be the true beginning of Steve Orbit's reign as champion, his time at the top, turned out to be the biggest bump in the road that I've suffered this year. That leaves me to wonder-- was Ultimate Showdown the right time? I was meant to prove myself, sure-- I had been involved in a feud with Sarah and Waylon for months, which climaxed at Ultimate Showdown with the World Title on the line. So I did what I had to do, I beat my two biggest foes, the two people trying to stop my bullet train-like momentum. But to lose the title so shortly after... I have to wonder, and I did wonder, and I have come to believe something:
War is Steve Orbit's time. War is what I had been building to all year, not Ultimate Showdown. Sure, the satisfaction of beating my two greatest foes, of winning my first World title, it was unparalleled-- but the satisfaction of defeating the entire roster, filled with people who I love, and hate, and respect, and some who I don't feel anything at all for-- to beat EVERYONE, and stand tall with the World Title? Surely, that will be true satisfaction. It will be my Ultimate Showdown victory times infinity.
So, here we go. The time is almost upon us. I, the writer, am sending Steve Orbit to War... with my blessing.
But first, a word from the Mack himself.
===== STATIC =====
[Scene opens outside the luxurious Phoenician resort in Phoenix, Arizona. The five-star resort is set against the slope of Camelback Mountain on 250 acres of land. It resides in the Valley of the Sun, situated between Phoenix and Scottsdale. The resort's attractions include a $25 million dollar art collection, a 27-hole golf course, 9 swimming pools, 10 lit tennis courts, a 2-acre cactus garden, and a health spa. Needless to say, "The Mack" Steve Orbit spares no expense to ensure his own comfort, especially when he is traveling on business. He likes to kick back in the lap of luxury on the final day before a big match-- it's a ritual which he believes brings him luck, and centers his mind, body and spirit for the upcoming event.
Currently, we find ourselves in Steve's room. He's out on the balcony, viewing the desert at sunset. After a few moments, he enters the room, sliding the door closed behind him. He takes a seat on the edge of the king sized bed-- premium Italian bed linens, of course.]
Steve Orbit: You know, this ain't really my type of place. I mean, it's beautiful, the nature... this entire resort is fantastic. I was walkin' through the art gallery earlier today, and boy-- art is always so inspirational, you know what I'm sayin'? It's funny how a peice of art, whether it's a painting, a photograph, a peice of music, whatever, it's funny how it can put you in a different frame of mind. It's funny how art can capture it's creator's emotion and perspective-- and when you're exposed to that art, you find yourself feeling the same thing that the creator was, you know what I'm sayin'? I think that's the goal of every artist-- to relate to others through their work, and to express theyself.
The truth is, I don't really feel at home out here in Phoenix, Arizona. Not at a place like this. There was a time when I never thought I'd see a beautiful resort like this. I was always used to stayin' at local joints, you know what I'm sayin'-- Motel 6, shit like that. I was used to doin' the weekly special for $150 while I pump drugs out of the room, or have tricks knockin' at the door to see my ladies...
[Orbit trails off. He shakes his head.]
Steve Orbit: Sorry, I'm gettin' off the track. Look, earlier this week, I told y'all that the roster would be talkin'-- and boy, did they talk. Shit, some of 'em talked... and talked... and kept on talkin'. Some of 'em STILL talkin'. I tuned in, you know what I'm sayin', this is a big week-- it's interesting to see what some of these fools come up with, to try and promote theyself.
First off, I'ma do the world a favor. Sarah Twilight presented a six-hour special on how much she hates the WCF roster-- her employees. The people who ARE the WCF. I don't know who this scandelous bitch thinks she is-- or why Seth is so afraid of her, seriously?-- but this thing was a chore to watch and listen to, and I'm sure there's exactly zero people out there who actually sat through the whole thing, so let me give you the breakdown.
[Orbit picks up a box off the floor with a bunch of GI Joes in it. He picks one up, looks at it, and throws it behind him.]
Steve Orbit: PATHETIC!
[He picks out another GI Joe, looks at it with disgust, and throws it over his other shoulder.]
Steve Orbit: WEAK!
[He does it again with another action figure.]
Steve Orbit: DOESN'T MATTER!
[Orbit puts the box back on the ground.]
Steve Orbit: That's it. This mother fucker sat back like Simon from American Idol and judged everybody with her feet up on the desk. It was really, really boring. Almost as boring as... Eric Price. Eric Price had an all-day TV marathon with Barbara Walters. I dunno how long it was exactly, but I would guess around nine hours. I ate three meals, fell asleep twice, and had sex five times (five different bitches) before this mother fucker was over with. I mean, these people are gettin' a bit long in the tooth, y'all, for real.
[Orbit shakes his head, laughing to himself.]
Steve Orbit: Again, since NOBODY sat through the whole thing, let me give you the rundown. This was really, really bad TV. I mean, the dude told his life story, the same story we all done heard a hundred fuckin' times-- that was about the first five and a half hours, and then he spent the rest of the mother fucker just talkin' about the roster. Kinda like Sarah, but... maybe a little less boring than Sarah. Less repetitive. Less like Simon Cowell, he was more quick, brief, to the point with that part. But GOD DAMN, son. Don't nobody wanna watch Eric Price for that long. For real, I don't know who the fuck they think they are.
[Orbit puts his finger up, as if he just remembered something.]
And then there was Cairo. Bobby Cairo. Cairo, I'm talkin' to you, man-- I think you confused about somethin'. Maybe you missed somethin'. You had a few cracks about my momma-- nice form and all, bringin' back the yo momma jokes, but check it out. Violet Renae Domino, my mom, has been dead since '89. It's pretty fuckin' common knowledge around here. It's also common knowledge that she was a prostitute. So, I mean, you sayin' you tapped that ass? It ain't really that impressive, G. You know who else fucked my momma? California. Like, the whole state, California. So I ain't really trippin' off what you said, man-- not at all. But the other thing, man, you talkin' real reckless about a nigga. You callin' me fake, when I'm the realest mother fucker around here. You know what, I can forgive that. I can look past that, because you wasn't around to witness my rise to fame. You wasn't around to witness the stories that came out about me, the rap sheets, the people, places and things from my past that became exposed to the world over the past year and a half. I'm a wanna-be? I'm fake? You talkin' to the wrong one. Homie, you made a fool out of yourself when you opened up your mouth said that shit, Cairo, because the entire fuckin' world knows my history-- except you. But you gon' learn a lot about me, come Sunday.
I gotta say one more thing though, Bob. You know what happened the last time somebody said a crack about my momma? I started a mother fuckin' prison riot. That's right, you ain't the only one who been to the joint. Go look at my promos from last year's War. You'll see the tape, you'll see the actual documents. For somebody who supposed to be so fuckin' brilliant, you sure as hell ain't do your homework on the Mack, homie. That's a big mistake, yo. You might been gone for a minute, so let me tell you somethin', I been runnin' through everybody in this mother fuckin' company while you off doin' whatever you do. I know you ain't no chump in the ring-- I never said you was. I expected the same respect from you, but you talkin' too wild about a mother fucker. I gotta get you for that. I got my eye out for you, man, I think I'ma add you to the list of these lil' big name mother fuckers who I can say I done fucked 'em up good. Yeah, I'ma put the clamp on the thickness... with the quickness. Shoulda stayed gone.
[Orbit laughs to himself.]
You can pay to go to school, but you can't buy class, you feel me? Sad state of a mother fucker right there.
[Orbit thinks for a few moments.]
Let's see...
OK, John Barber. Thanks for schoolin' me on the non-racist history of the term "Florida cracker". Next time I'm in Florida, I'ma call the first white boy I see a cracker, and it'll be cool, right? 'Cause John Barber said so. [laughs] The fuck outta here, man. I ain't got no problem with you being proud of your heritage-- fuck, man, I met some white skinheads in San Quentin who was cool as hell. I always thought they was all about hate, but they just proud of they heritage. They got some knuckleheads that give 'em all a bad name-- just like any group, I guess. They don't hate nobody else, they just proud of who they is. Ain't nothin' wrong with that-- shit, I'm proud to be a black American, of Jamaican descent, and originally, of course, African descent. I'm proud of all that shit, the journey that my ancestors made on the slave ships to Jamaica, and then hundreds of years later, the trip my momma made to the United States so I could be born on US soil, born an American. But let's be real, man-- people hear the word "cracker", they think racial slur. That's society, homie... but you know what, it's all good. This shit ain't about nicknames. I'm lookin' forward to lockin' up with you, man. You one of those rising star type of mother fuckers, and I wanna test you out. I wanna see what you got, what you made of. I'm lookin' forward to that, for real-- but it ain't nothin' personal with you. You one of them good ol' boys, you a good dude.
Speaking of good dudes, my boy FPV. Frank done got himself a crystal ball or somethin'... maybe he eatin' them mushrooms again, or takin' some type of new shit that he cooked up in the lab. With his mad scientist ass, but AIDS? Nah, brah, I ain't goin' out like that. Besides, mother fuckers like me don't die from HIV-- this is 2013, man. And by the time 2028 rolls around? Shit, we'll have the vaccines, the cures. I'll still be an old school nigga-- always-- but I ain't dyin' from no AIDS. If I ever did catch it-- I know I may seem like I'm a high risk for it, between my reputation with the ladies, plus I'm black-- but if I ever did catch that shit, all I'ma do is call up Magic Johnson and talk to his people. That nigga been had AIDS since I was a little boy and he's still doin' his thing, so why not me? I know I got more money than his ass, and since money is the cure for AIDS... shit, I ain't got nothin' to worry about when it comes to the Virus.
[Orbit slides towards the nightstand and grabs a bottle of water. He opens it and takes a sip.]
Moving on... Fly. I see you, homie.
I gotta bring that name up. I gotta remind myself, this is the guy, this is the guy who could stop me from winning War. But then... I gotta remind myself, wait, I beat Jonny Fly already. God damn, I'm not makin' any sense. Look Fly, I'ma be real with you. I'm glad you're back. It's funny watchin' everybody scramble like mother fuckin' cockroaches when you turn the light on. All these punk ass mother fuckers runnin' around like they own the place, and then Fly shows up, and it's like-- where'd everybody go? Y'all was talkin' reckless a week ago, y'all was the best thing goin'... that's funny to me. But you know you ain't gonna get that reaction from me, Jonny. I respect you, you know that-- you respect me, too. You have to, because you know and you understand that I'm the only mother fucker around here that will stand up and fight you. I ain't gonna "tuck in my chain", so to speak, when Jonny Fly walks in the room. Steve Orbit don't back down from nobody-- no matter what. I'm a man, with pride. I ain't gonna sit here and assassinate your character, or try to discredit your accomplishments, tarnish your legacy-- nah. Jonny Fly is Jonny Fly. One of the best to ever do it. I'm lookin' forward to seein' you in that ring tonight, homie, and I'm glad you're back.
I learned some shit about this company in my first run here. I learned that no matter how hard I train, no matter how prepared I am, no matter how hard I work on any given week... there's always a touch of luck involved. There's always a... let's call it an x-factor. That's the nature of the pro wrestling though, ain't it? Those of us who can be considered top players this week, each one of us could beat the other one, and then the next week, lose to that same person. We are all THAT good.
But then you throw us all together in the same match? You can't tell me there ain't gonna be some luck involved. There's a few of us who really have the talent and the determination to win this match. There's a few of us who are World Champion material, who really have what it takes to beat the entire roster. But who has what it takes to do it TONIGHT?
Look, at this point, all I can really say is... I wanna win this mother fucker. I'ma do all I can to win this mother fucker. A few days ago, I kept it real and I told the whole roster how I feel about 'em, why I love 'em. That ain't the same love that, say, a man has for his wife. Nah. It's more like the love a man has for his dog. Sometimes that dog is gonna bite you, and sometimes you gotta take your mother fuckin' belt off and whoop that ass, teach that dog a lesson, but you do it out of love. You do it because you need them to understand-- you need them to know that YOU the one in charge. YOU run shit around here.
Half these fools ain't runnin' nothin' but they mouth around here.
And that's why tonight, I intend on teachin' forty-plus grown men and women a God damn lesson. Steve Orbit is back, and I'm back to dominate. I ain't come back to start slippin' again. I came back to take my spot as the top wrestler in this company-- not the spot I "deserve", but the spot I WILL EARN.
And I'ma earn that spot by winning War, tonight.
[Orbit takes another sip of water and leans back onto the bed. We fade out.]
===== STATIC =====
And with that, my friends, "The Mack" Steve Orbit will enter his second War match. I could have put Orbit in some dramatic, action-packed story this week, as I've done in most of my big matches this year. However, this time I wanted to focus on the match at hand, on the matter at hand. I could have sat here and told you my-- er, Orbit's entire life story... AGAIN. You can take a look at his app for that, or better yet, you can read all of my promos over the last 18 months or so. They will give you a clear picture of Steve Orbit's life history as well as his personality. No, I'm not gonna put up a quote about War, and try to make some metaphor about real war between civilizations, and the War wrestling match. Besides, this is not a war between civilizations. It's a war between personalities. A war between characters, and at the end of the day... it's a writers' war.
Good luck to everyone.
"What are we doin' this week, T?"
Orbit asked me.
Who am I? The writer of this.
Before I answer Steve's question, I wanna go over a few things.
Steve Orbit has had a lot of major things happen outside of the ring this year. I mean, huge, life altering stuff. Last year, Steve Orbit was more or less a carefree guy. He had access to all the money and women that a man could ever desire, through his relationship with his mentor, Golden Joey. He was beginning to live out his dream of becoming a professional wrestler-- positive things were happening for Steve. Really, the only dark spots in his life were the fact that he had never met his father, and the fact that his mother's murder was unsolved.
Both of those situations were resolved in 2013. He discovered the plot between Golden Joey and a crooked VICE cop to kill his mother. Orbit also met his father-- he was tricked into meeting him, and found out that he was just as much of a selfish asshole as he always imagined.
Orbit had a rocky, up and down relationship with an adult film star, Havana Ginger. Together, they bought a house. Orbit bought Nicholas Cage's private jet, he bought several cars. He's been a part of group projects, or "stables".
And let's not forget the fact that, looking over his first "run" with the WCF, Orbit was betrayed by almost every single person he allowed himself to get close to. Odin Balfore, Waylon Cash, Ana Valentine... these were people who the Mack blindly trusted out of his own good heart. Naturally, there were storylines and feuds following the betrayal.
All of this, week after week and month after month, all of these stories have been told as a way to develop Steve Orbit's character. I want you to know who Steve Orbit is, how he operates. What makes him tick. I want you to know that Steve Orbit has all the traits, all the emotions, all the characteristics of a living human being, and those are concrete, unchanging. His personality, his soul doesn't alter week to week whenever I feel like doing something different. Steve Orbit is real-- he can't change, no more than you or I could change who we are.
He's real because I made him real.
And that's why, Steve, I'm not telling another story about your life this week.
The story is already right in front of us.
The story is the match, the story is what's about to go down on Sunday. The story is wrestling. The story is Steve Orbit coming back for WAR.
Jonny Fly.
Sarah Twilight.
Logan.
Nathan von Libert.
A list of the front-runners for WAR this year? Sure, some would say that. Upon further examination, one would realize that everyone on this list has been DEFEATED by The Mack. Who else around here can say that? Huh? There's ONE other person who's pinned Fly. There's a small handful who've beaten Sarah Twilight. Logan... well, he's had his ups and downs, but he's on this list because he's won War THREE times, and is the most decorated wrestler in the history of the company, period-- and Orbit beat him. NvL is the current World Champion, and although my recent loss of the World Title to Nathan still stings a bit... Orbit has pinned Nathan von Liebert in the past, and he can do it again. He WILL do it again.
Steve Orbit has turned 2013 into HIS year. He's had major wins, as I just mentioned. He's won a World Title. His stock with the fans has risen significantly. Simply put, the boy is on fire. Now, when I was in the middle of my white-hot streak earlier this year, I thought it was leading up to a World Title run. It did, but it was abruptly cut short by Nathan von Liebert at Revenge. What was supposed to be the true beginning of Steve Orbit's reign as champion, his time at the top, turned out to be the biggest bump in the road that I've suffered this year. That leaves me to wonder-- was Ultimate Showdown the right time? I was meant to prove myself, sure-- I had been involved in a feud with Sarah and Waylon for months, which climaxed at Ultimate Showdown with the World Title on the line. So I did what I had to do, I beat my two biggest foes, the two people trying to stop my bullet train-like momentum. But to lose the title so shortly after... I have to wonder, and I did wonder, and I have come to believe something:
War is Steve Orbit's time. War is what I had been building to all year, not Ultimate Showdown. Sure, the satisfaction of beating my two greatest foes, of winning my first World title, it was unparalleled-- but the satisfaction of defeating the entire roster, filled with people who I love, and hate, and respect, and some who I don't feel anything at all for-- to beat EVERYONE, and stand tall with the World Title? Surely, that will be true satisfaction. It will be my Ultimate Showdown victory times infinity.
So, here we go. The time is almost upon us. I, the writer, am sending Steve Orbit to War... with my blessing.
But first, a word from the Mack himself.
===== STATIC =====
[Scene opens outside the luxurious Phoenician resort in Phoenix, Arizona. The five-star resort is set against the slope of Camelback Mountain on 250 acres of land. It resides in the Valley of the Sun, situated between Phoenix and Scottsdale. The resort's attractions include a $25 million dollar art collection, a 27-hole golf course, 9 swimming pools, 10 lit tennis courts, a 2-acre cactus garden, and a health spa. Needless to say, "The Mack" Steve Orbit spares no expense to ensure his own comfort, especially when he is traveling on business. He likes to kick back in the lap of luxury on the final day before a big match-- it's a ritual which he believes brings him luck, and centers his mind, body and spirit for the upcoming event.
Currently, we find ourselves in Steve's room. He's out on the balcony, viewing the desert at sunset. After a few moments, he enters the room, sliding the door closed behind him. He takes a seat on the edge of the king sized bed-- premium Italian bed linens, of course.]
Steve Orbit: You know, this ain't really my type of place. I mean, it's beautiful, the nature... this entire resort is fantastic. I was walkin' through the art gallery earlier today, and boy-- art is always so inspirational, you know what I'm sayin'? It's funny how a peice of art, whether it's a painting, a photograph, a peice of music, whatever, it's funny how it can put you in a different frame of mind. It's funny how art can capture it's creator's emotion and perspective-- and when you're exposed to that art, you find yourself feeling the same thing that the creator was, you know what I'm sayin'? I think that's the goal of every artist-- to relate to others through their work, and to express theyself.
The truth is, I don't really feel at home out here in Phoenix, Arizona. Not at a place like this. There was a time when I never thought I'd see a beautiful resort like this. I was always used to stayin' at local joints, you know what I'm sayin'-- Motel 6, shit like that. I was used to doin' the weekly special for $150 while I pump drugs out of the room, or have tricks knockin' at the door to see my ladies...
[Orbit trails off. He shakes his head.]
Steve Orbit: Sorry, I'm gettin' off the track. Look, earlier this week, I told y'all that the roster would be talkin'-- and boy, did they talk. Shit, some of 'em talked... and talked... and kept on talkin'. Some of 'em STILL talkin'. I tuned in, you know what I'm sayin', this is a big week-- it's interesting to see what some of these fools come up with, to try and promote theyself.
First off, I'ma do the world a favor. Sarah Twilight presented a six-hour special on how much she hates the WCF roster-- her employees. The people who ARE the WCF. I don't know who this scandelous bitch thinks she is-- or why Seth is so afraid of her, seriously?-- but this thing was a chore to watch and listen to, and I'm sure there's exactly zero people out there who actually sat through the whole thing, so let me give you the breakdown.
[Orbit picks up a box off the floor with a bunch of GI Joes in it. He picks one up, looks at it, and throws it behind him.]
Steve Orbit: PATHETIC!
[He picks out another GI Joe, looks at it with disgust, and throws it over his other shoulder.]
Steve Orbit: WEAK!
[He does it again with another action figure.]
Steve Orbit: DOESN'T MATTER!
[Orbit puts the box back on the ground.]
Steve Orbit: That's it. This mother fucker sat back like Simon from American Idol and judged everybody with her feet up on the desk. It was really, really boring. Almost as boring as... Eric Price. Eric Price had an all-day TV marathon with Barbara Walters. I dunno how long it was exactly, but I would guess around nine hours. I ate three meals, fell asleep twice, and had sex five times (five different bitches) before this mother fucker was over with. I mean, these people are gettin' a bit long in the tooth, y'all, for real.
[Orbit shakes his head, laughing to himself.]
Steve Orbit: Again, since NOBODY sat through the whole thing, let me give you the rundown. This was really, really bad TV. I mean, the dude told his life story, the same story we all done heard a hundred fuckin' times-- that was about the first five and a half hours, and then he spent the rest of the mother fucker just talkin' about the roster. Kinda like Sarah, but... maybe a little less boring than Sarah. Less repetitive. Less like Simon Cowell, he was more quick, brief, to the point with that part. But GOD DAMN, son. Don't nobody wanna watch Eric Price for that long. For real, I don't know who the fuck they think they are.
[Orbit puts his finger up, as if he just remembered something.]
And then there was Cairo. Bobby Cairo. Cairo, I'm talkin' to you, man-- I think you confused about somethin'. Maybe you missed somethin'. You had a few cracks about my momma-- nice form and all, bringin' back the yo momma jokes, but check it out. Violet Renae Domino, my mom, has been dead since '89. It's pretty fuckin' common knowledge around here. It's also common knowledge that she was a prostitute. So, I mean, you sayin' you tapped that ass? It ain't really that impressive, G. You know who else fucked my momma? California. Like, the whole state, California. So I ain't really trippin' off what you said, man-- not at all. But the other thing, man, you talkin' real reckless about a nigga. You callin' me fake, when I'm the realest mother fucker around here. You know what, I can forgive that. I can look past that, because you wasn't around to witness my rise to fame. You wasn't around to witness the stories that came out about me, the rap sheets, the people, places and things from my past that became exposed to the world over the past year and a half. I'm a wanna-be? I'm fake? You talkin' to the wrong one. Homie, you made a fool out of yourself when you opened up your mouth said that shit, Cairo, because the entire fuckin' world knows my history-- except you. But you gon' learn a lot about me, come Sunday.
I gotta say one more thing though, Bob. You know what happened the last time somebody said a crack about my momma? I started a mother fuckin' prison riot. That's right, you ain't the only one who been to the joint. Go look at my promos from last year's War. You'll see the tape, you'll see the actual documents. For somebody who supposed to be so fuckin' brilliant, you sure as hell ain't do your homework on the Mack, homie. That's a big mistake, yo. You might been gone for a minute, so let me tell you somethin', I been runnin' through everybody in this mother fuckin' company while you off doin' whatever you do. I know you ain't no chump in the ring-- I never said you was. I expected the same respect from you, but you talkin' too wild about a mother fucker. I gotta get you for that. I got my eye out for you, man, I think I'ma add you to the list of these lil' big name mother fuckers who I can say I done fucked 'em up good. Yeah, I'ma put the clamp on the thickness... with the quickness. Shoulda stayed gone.
[Orbit laughs to himself.]
You can pay to go to school, but you can't buy class, you feel me? Sad state of a mother fucker right there.
[Orbit thinks for a few moments.]
Let's see...
OK, John Barber. Thanks for schoolin' me on the non-racist history of the term "Florida cracker". Next time I'm in Florida, I'ma call the first white boy I see a cracker, and it'll be cool, right? 'Cause John Barber said so. [laughs] The fuck outta here, man. I ain't got no problem with you being proud of your heritage-- fuck, man, I met some white skinheads in San Quentin who was cool as hell. I always thought they was all about hate, but they just proud of they heritage. They got some knuckleheads that give 'em all a bad name-- just like any group, I guess. They don't hate nobody else, they just proud of who they is. Ain't nothin' wrong with that-- shit, I'm proud to be a black American, of Jamaican descent, and originally, of course, African descent. I'm proud of all that shit, the journey that my ancestors made on the slave ships to Jamaica, and then hundreds of years later, the trip my momma made to the United States so I could be born on US soil, born an American. But let's be real, man-- people hear the word "cracker", they think racial slur. That's society, homie... but you know what, it's all good. This shit ain't about nicknames. I'm lookin' forward to lockin' up with you, man. You one of those rising star type of mother fuckers, and I wanna test you out. I wanna see what you got, what you made of. I'm lookin' forward to that, for real-- but it ain't nothin' personal with you. You one of them good ol' boys, you a good dude.
Speaking of good dudes, my boy FPV. Frank done got himself a crystal ball or somethin'... maybe he eatin' them mushrooms again, or takin' some type of new shit that he cooked up in the lab. With his mad scientist ass, but AIDS? Nah, brah, I ain't goin' out like that. Besides, mother fuckers like me don't die from HIV-- this is 2013, man. And by the time 2028 rolls around? Shit, we'll have the vaccines, the cures. I'll still be an old school nigga-- always-- but I ain't dyin' from no AIDS. If I ever did catch it-- I know I may seem like I'm a high risk for it, between my reputation with the ladies, plus I'm black-- but if I ever did catch that shit, all I'ma do is call up Magic Johnson and talk to his people. That nigga been had AIDS since I was a little boy and he's still doin' his thing, so why not me? I know I got more money than his ass, and since money is the cure for AIDS... shit, I ain't got nothin' to worry about when it comes to the Virus.
[Orbit slides towards the nightstand and grabs a bottle of water. He opens it and takes a sip.]
Moving on... Fly. I see you, homie.
I gotta bring that name up. I gotta remind myself, this is the guy, this is the guy who could stop me from winning War. But then... I gotta remind myself, wait, I beat Jonny Fly already. God damn, I'm not makin' any sense. Look Fly, I'ma be real with you. I'm glad you're back. It's funny watchin' everybody scramble like mother fuckin' cockroaches when you turn the light on. All these punk ass mother fuckers runnin' around like they own the place, and then Fly shows up, and it's like-- where'd everybody go? Y'all was talkin' reckless a week ago, y'all was the best thing goin'... that's funny to me. But you know you ain't gonna get that reaction from me, Jonny. I respect you, you know that-- you respect me, too. You have to, because you know and you understand that I'm the only mother fucker around here that will stand up and fight you. I ain't gonna "tuck in my chain", so to speak, when Jonny Fly walks in the room. Steve Orbit don't back down from nobody-- no matter what. I'm a man, with pride. I ain't gonna sit here and assassinate your character, or try to discredit your accomplishments, tarnish your legacy-- nah. Jonny Fly is Jonny Fly. One of the best to ever do it. I'm lookin' forward to seein' you in that ring tonight, homie, and I'm glad you're back.
I learned some shit about this company in my first run here. I learned that no matter how hard I train, no matter how prepared I am, no matter how hard I work on any given week... there's always a touch of luck involved. There's always a... let's call it an x-factor. That's the nature of the pro wrestling though, ain't it? Those of us who can be considered top players this week, each one of us could beat the other one, and then the next week, lose to that same person. We are all THAT good.
But then you throw us all together in the same match? You can't tell me there ain't gonna be some luck involved. There's a few of us who really have the talent and the determination to win this match. There's a few of us who are World Champion material, who really have what it takes to beat the entire roster. But who has what it takes to do it TONIGHT?
Look, at this point, all I can really say is... I wanna win this mother fucker. I'ma do all I can to win this mother fucker. A few days ago, I kept it real and I told the whole roster how I feel about 'em, why I love 'em. That ain't the same love that, say, a man has for his wife. Nah. It's more like the love a man has for his dog. Sometimes that dog is gonna bite you, and sometimes you gotta take your mother fuckin' belt off and whoop that ass, teach that dog a lesson, but you do it out of love. You do it because you need them to understand-- you need them to know that YOU the one in charge. YOU run shit around here.
Half these fools ain't runnin' nothin' but they mouth around here.
And that's why tonight, I intend on teachin' forty-plus grown men and women a God damn lesson. Steve Orbit is back, and I'm back to dominate. I ain't come back to start slippin' again. I came back to take my spot as the top wrestler in this company-- not the spot I "deserve", but the spot I WILL EARN.
And I'ma earn that spot by winning War, tonight.
[Orbit takes another sip of water and leans back onto the bed. We fade out.]
===== STATIC =====
And with that, my friends, "The Mack" Steve Orbit will enter his second War match. I could have put Orbit in some dramatic, action-packed story this week, as I've done in most of my big matches this year. However, this time I wanted to focus on the match at hand, on the matter at hand. I could have sat here and told you my-- er, Orbit's entire life story... AGAIN. You can take a look at his app for that, or better yet, you can read all of my promos over the last 18 months or so. They will give you a clear picture of Steve Orbit's life history as well as his personality. No, I'm not gonna put up a quote about War, and try to make some metaphor about real war between civilizations, and the War wrestling match. Besides, this is not a war between civilizations. It's a war between personalities. A war between characters, and at the end of the day... it's a writers' war.
Good luck to everyone.
