Post by Odin Balfore on Sept 29, 2013 2:36:49 GMT -5
WAR XII
Scene One – Poon-plow-macy
Manhattan, NY.
The Govener of Poon Guinea and The Godfather of professional wrestling, along with The Asgardian All Father and the Commander of the Thousand Thickni Army, Zombie McMorris arrive on the scene of the United faggotry Nations of the world, like the bubonic plague into Europe. The three men walk in staggered formation, Odin leading the march with The Governor in the middle. Zmac walks behind them both, subsequencaly leading the army across the grounds. All the flags of the worlds nations fly high in the breeze. Conspiculantly absent from the banner persession is PoonGuinea, even The annexation of Egypt to Conrad is still represented. The army decends upon the gates, dressed in all black, parting all non poon-guineaians like RiRi’s supple ass checks. The army set up a make-shift shop of wears: All the finest Poonguinea products.
www.demsoc.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/jay-and-silent-bob.jpg
Two hype men stand out in front of the army, who have created a semi-circle the entrance of the UN building. The Thick-ni army now have taken passive control of the UN building, having a choke hold on all who go in and all who go out.
Inside the building, the Poon Gueanian ambassadors are stopped by a portly fellow who no doubt enjoys things most unthick in mature and his very prensence uneases the trio with a sense that HE had just made a huge mistake in approaching them; which he did.
Portly Fellow: Gentle-.. oh.
* He looks them once over, Odin and the governer wearing all black suits, ZMAC, looking the same as always. *
Portly Fellow: The-um.. free clinic is on the other side of town.
Odin: No, we’re in the right place.
Portly Fellow: This is no social arcade for miscrants and riff-raff like yourself. This is the official headquarters of the United Nations. How’d you even get in here?
* Cairo lights up a Newport and takes a step forward. *
Cairo: Because the Godfather wills it so. I am the Governor of Poon Guinea and I have come to deligate my countries best intrests. AKA- MY best intrests. You best be getting out way.
Portly Fellow: I’ll make sure you are escorted from the premises.
* The portly man leaves for a moment and returns with Conrad in toe. *
Portly Fellow: This is the prime minister of Egypt. The New head of UN security. He’ll make sure that you are successfully removed from the grounds.
Conrad: The hell do you three want?
Odin: Why wernt we invited to the UN?
Conrad: You over threw a country, established an even worse tyrannical government and waged coked up gihad against other nations. That’s why you haven’t been invited.
Portly Fellow: You know these three?
* Conrad scouls at the man *
Conrad: Shut the fuck up!
* Conrad looks back at our three hero’s. The saviors of all Poon kind. It’s with great regret but he doesn’t second guess themselves. *
Conrad: Their fine.
* The portly man is aghast,. “ fine, fine?! “ Like a atom bomb went off in his skull, spewing radioactive anti-thinkness waves clear across his body. *
Portly Fellow: This is UN HEARD OF! They Hijacked a country!
Cairo: You left in the “ O.” Theres no “ O” in cunt-try. Only in the faces as those bitches cum from the coked up ponding given to them by The Godfather.
Portly Fellow: That is the most vile thing I’ve ever heard. That’s worse then if you had relations with your grandmother.
ZMAC: About that.
Odin: You’re a sick fuck, you know that?
ZMAC: I didn’t hear a no.
Conrad: I’m going to pretend like I didn’t hear you say that. I’ll meet you boys inside. We’re discussing what to do about Syria today.
Cairo: They can suck my fuckin dick for all I care.
Conrad: Ha! I knew I’ve like you Bobby- You’ll drive these stiff dicks nuts.
* Odin takes a blunt out of his suit jacket and lights it up. *
Conrad: And what the fuck are you doin?
Odin: Isn’t this America? I’m sorry, I thought this was America.
Conrad: Enjoy your first and last trip to the UN boys.
____________________________
Scene Two: Terror firma OR The Terra in her?
“ And this.. it.. ah.. can not stand. This.. three word.. speech. In such a form or fashion. Barry Oak, watched too much star treck in college. This Syrian problem.. it needs.. to be stopped. Don’t.. get it twisted. America wants peace just as much.. as .. anyone.. I can assure you. However, there will not be any American troops on the ground. We will have Syria disarm themselves of all chemical and or biological weaponary or.. we will.. use force .. as needed. “
Odin: So go blow his shit up!
* Odin yells from across the room, from all the way in the back row of the UN, from a folding table and a set of chairs. Cairo and ZMAC are banking trick shots in beer pong across the table just in back of Odin. Obama looks frustrated at the main pulpit. *
“ Who.. who is that.. Barry Oak demands to know. “
Odin: Odin Balfore. God of Poonguinea.
Obama: As I’ve said before.. ther ah.. will not be ANY boots on the ground.
Odin: I’m not talkin about boots on the ground. I’m talkin boots in asses. Man without a name type shit. Guns of the motha fucking navarone.
Obama: Mr. Balfore.. Don’t get it twisted. We all want peace but we know that repating this circle of violence will not let any innocent soul rest.
Odin: We’ll do it.
Obama:What?
Odin: We’ll do it. For a price.
Obama: You .. think you can come in here.. and ah.. strong arm the united nations? You must be smoking some of that.. Barry Oak Prime Rib Express.
Odin: I’ll tell you what Barry. You and All these pussy fuck, ANTI-Thick- no dick, brick layin motha fuckas can all sit here with your thumbs up your ass – OR- you can hire us. And I mean that as loosely as fuckin possible because We’re gunna do what ever the hell we want anyway.
Obama: What country do you represent again?
Odin: Poon Guinea.
Obama: Sir, that’s not even a true nation.
Odin: Oh, that must be why we have the UN surrounded right now.
Obama: That’s an act of terror.
Odin: NO, it’s to show you how easy it is to put boots on the ground in a peaceful manner. What we ain’t gunna do is follow you pipers into this cozy little hell of yours. On behalf of the Govern of Poon Guinea, whose currently wrecking it in Beer Pong- You give you an ultimateum. Well, not really cuz we’re gunna do it regardless. We- the Nation of Poon Guinea, a NON SACTIONED nation will declear open war on Syria and wipe is clean from the map.
Obama: And what do you want in exchange?
Odin: Simple. For Mcdonalds to serve Shamrock shakes all year round.
* Obama looks republic-founded. ( dumb founded ) *
Odin: Fuck no, their gunna do that shit anyway.
Obama: What was the point of all this.. if you’re.. going to under mind your own tactics?
Odin: Simple enough. Prove to you that on mear whim, I can lead n army onto US soil, invade the UN and make them bow to my iron python of True WCF Justice. We don’t get what we want. We just take it. Bobby Cairo, The WAR World Title Match. Me, the following week, The hardcore. Just figured I’d show everyone here that I’m not corporate puppet. While you’re all crying stank about Syria or your BS health care or Edward Snowden- we’re out in the shit. While EPPW tries about some masked man or the return of Johnny Fly at WAR Twelve that I accurately predicted like three months ago. To the Twilights making up such phony college excuses. First her grandpa- next the dog eats her diaphragm and she gets knocked up by yours truly. I’ve seen it a million times.
War is not a concern for me. For it is not my focus. Try as you all might to bolster yourselves. Puff out your chests and act all coy and cocky like we really give a fuck. I have no coy words today- no metaphors or anecdotes. I have no one to target or single out. EPPW WAR is nothing more than a pillow fight in full riot gear. I will go in. I will go out. I’ll collect my pay check and that’s going to be that. I have no pride for EPPW nor for The United Nations.
You don’t want to put boots on the ground and go hard as a motha fucka? We will. I have no intentions of winning WAR Twelve but I will take as many of these honky motha fucks with me.
Each and every last one of you.
The Govener of Poon Guinea and The Godfather of professional wrestling, along with The Asgardian All Father and the Commander of the Thousand Thickni Army, Zombie McMorris arrive on the scene of the United faggotry Nations of the world, like the bubonic plague into Europe. The three men walk in staggered formation, Odin leading the march with The Governor in the middle. Zmac walks behind them both, subsequencaly leading the army across the grounds. All the flags of the worlds nations fly high in the breeze. Conspiculantly absent from the banner persession is PoonGuinea, even The annexation of Egypt to Conrad is still represented. The army decends upon the gates, dressed in all black, parting all non poon-guineaians like RiRi’s supple ass checks. The army set up a make-shift shop of wears: All the finest Poonguinea products.
www.demsoc.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/jay-and-silent-bob.jpg
Two hype men stand out in front of the army, who have created a semi-circle the entrance of the UN building. The Thick-ni army now have taken passive control of the UN building, having a choke hold on all who go in and all who go out.
Inside the building, the Poon Gueanian ambassadors are stopped by a portly fellow who no doubt enjoys things most unthick in mature and his very prensence uneases the trio with a sense that HE had just made a huge mistake in approaching them; which he did.
Portly Fellow: Gentle-.. oh.
* He looks them once over, Odin and the governer wearing all black suits, ZMAC, looking the same as always. *
Portly Fellow: The-um.. free clinic is on the other side of town.
Odin: No, we’re in the right place.
Portly Fellow: This is no social arcade for miscrants and riff-raff like yourself. This is the official headquarters of the United Nations. How’d you even get in here?
* Cairo lights up a Newport and takes a step forward. *
Cairo: Because the Godfather wills it so. I am the Governor of Poon Guinea and I have come to deligate my countries best intrests. AKA- MY best intrests. You best be getting out way.
Portly Fellow: I’ll make sure you are escorted from the premises.
* The portly man leaves for a moment and returns with Conrad in toe. *
Portly Fellow: This is the prime minister of Egypt. The New head of UN security. He’ll make sure that you are successfully removed from the grounds.
Conrad: The hell do you three want?
Odin: Why wernt we invited to the UN?
Conrad: You over threw a country, established an even worse tyrannical government and waged coked up gihad against other nations. That’s why you haven’t been invited.
Portly Fellow: You know these three?
* Conrad scouls at the man *
Conrad: Shut the fuck up!
* Conrad looks back at our three hero’s. The saviors of all Poon kind. It’s with great regret but he doesn’t second guess themselves. *
Conrad: Their fine.
* The portly man is aghast,. “ fine, fine?! “ Like a atom bomb went off in his skull, spewing radioactive anti-thinkness waves clear across his body. *
Portly Fellow: This is UN HEARD OF! They Hijacked a country!
Cairo: You left in the “ O.” Theres no “ O” in cunt-try. Only in the faces as those bitches cum from the coked up ponding given to them by The Godfather.
Portly Fellow: That is the most vile thing I’ve ever heard. That’s worse then if you had relations with your grandmother.
ZMAC: About that.
Odin: You’re a sick fuck, you know that?
ZMAC: I didn’t hear a no.
Conrad: I’m going to pretend like I didn’t hear you say that. I’ll meet you boys inside. We’re discussing what to do about Syria today.
Cairo: They can suck my fuckin dick for all I care.
Conrad: Ha! I knew I’ve like you Bobby- You’ll drive these stiff dicks nuts.
* Odin takes a blunt out of his suit jacket and lights it up. *
Conrad: And what the fuck are you doin?
Odin: Isn’t this America? I’m sorry, I thought this was America.
Conrad: Enjoy your first and last trip to the UN boys.
____________________________
Scene Two: Terror firma OR The Terra in her?
“ And this.. it.. ah.. can not stand. This.. three word.. speech. In such a form or fashion. Barry Oak, watched too much star treck in college. This Syrian problem.. it needs.. to be stopped. Don’t.. get it twisted. America wants peace just as much.. as .. anyone.. I can assure you. However, there will not be any American troops on the ground. We will have Syria disarm themselves of all chemical and or biological weaponary or.. we will.. use force .. as needed. “
Odin: So go blow his shit up!
* Odin yells from across the room, from all the way in the back row of the UN, from a folding table and a set of chairs. Cairo and ZMAC are banking trick shots in beer pong across the table just in back of Odin. Obama looks frustrated at the main pulpit. *
“ Who.. who is that.. Barry Oak demands to know. “
Odin: Odin Balfore. God of Poonguinea.
Obama: As I’ve said before.. ther ah.. will not be ANY boots on the ground.
Odin: I’m not talkin about boots on the ground. I’m talkin boots in asses. Man without a name type shit. Guns of the motha fucking navarone.
Obama: Mr. Balfore.. Don’t get it twisted. We all want peace but we know that repating this circle of violence will not let any innocent soul rest.
Odin: We’ll do it.
Obama:What?
Odin: We’ll do it. For a price.
Obama: You .. think you can come in here.. and ah.. strong arm the united nations? You must be smoking some of that.. Barry Oak Prime Rib Express.
Odin: I’ll tell you what Barry. You and All these pussy fuck, ANTI-Thick- no dick, brick layin motha fuckas can all sit here with your thumbs up your ass – OR- you can hire us. And I mean that as loosely as fuckin possible because We’re gunna do what ever the hell we want anyway.
Obama: What country do you represent again?
Odin: Poon Guinea.
Obama: Sir, that’s not even a true nation.
Odin: Oh, that must be why we have the UN surrounded right now.
Obama: That’s an act of terror.
Odin: NO, it’s to show you how easy it is to put boots on the ground in a peaceful manner. What we ain’t gunna do is follow you pipers into this cozy little hell of yours. On behalf of the Govern of Poon Guinea, whose currently wrecking it in Beer Pong- You give you an ultimateum. Well, not really cuz we’re gunna do it regardless. We- the Nation of Poon Guinea, a NON SACTIONED nation will declear open war on Syria and wipe is clean from the map.
Obama: And what do you want in exchange?
Odin: Simple. For Mcdonalds to serve Shamrock shakes all year round.
* Obama looks republic-founded. ( dumb founded ) *
Odin: Fuck no, their gunna do that shit anyway.
Obama: What was the point of all this.. if you’re.. going to under mind your own tactics?
Odin: Simple enough. Prove to you that on mear whim, I can lead n army onto US soil, invade the UN and make them bow to my iron python of True WCF Justice. We don’t get what we want. We just take it. Bobby Cairo, The WAR World Title Match. Me, the following week, The hardcore. Just figured I’d show everyone here that I’m not corporate puppet. While you’re all crying stank about Syria or your BS health care or Edward Snowden- we’re out in the shit. While EPPW tries about some masked man or the return of Johnny Fly at WAR Twelve that I accurately predicted like three months ago. To the Twilights making up such phony college excuses. First her grandpa- next the dog eats her diaphragm and she gets knocked up by yours truly. I’ve seen it a million times.
War is not a concern for me. For it is not my focus. Try as you all might to bolster yourselves. Puff out your chests and act all coy and cocky like we really give a fuck. I have no coy words today- no metaphors or anecdotes. I have no one to target or single out. EPPW WAR is nothing more than a pillow fight in full riot gear. I will go in. I will go out. I’ll collect my pay check and that’s going to be that. I have no pride for EPPW nor for The United Nations.
You don’t want to put boots on the ground and go hard as a motha fucka? We will. I have no intentions of winning WAR Twelve but I will take as many of these honky motha fucks with me.
Each and every last one of you.
This isnt diplomacy. Its Poon-Plow-macy. No mercy. No tricks. Come in and get smashed. It's a sad day when dozzens of men are clawing at the title of EPPW.
Sadder days are yet to come but I will continue to fight the good fight for True WCF victory.
I.. WILL..FIGHT THE WAR
Scene One – Poon-plow-macy
Manhattan, NY.
The Govener of Poon Guinea and The Godfather of professional wrestling, along with The Asgardian All Father and the Commander of the Thousand Thickni Army, Zombie McMorris arrive on the scene of the United faggotry Nations of the world, like the bubonic plague into Europe. The three men walk in staggered formation, Odin leading the march with The Governor in the middle. Zmac walks behind them both, subsequencaly leading the army across the grounds. All the flags of the worlds nations fly high in the breeze. Conspiculantly absent from the banner persession is PoonGuinea, even The annexation of Egypt to Conrad is still represented. The army decends upon the gates, dressed in all black, parting all non poon-guineaians like RiRi’s supple ass checks. The army set up a make-shift shop of wears: All the finest Poonguinea products.
www.demsoc.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/jay-and-silent-bob.jpg
Two hype men stand out in front of the army, who have created a semi-circle the entrance of the UN building. The Thick-ni army now have taken passive control of the UN building, having a choke hold on all who go in and all who go out.
Inside the building, the Poon Gueanian ambassadors are stopped by a portly fellow who no doubt enjoys things most unthick in mature and his very prensence uneases the trio with a sense that HE had just made a huge mistake in approaching them; which he did.
Portly Fellow: Gentle-.. oh.
* He looks them once over, Odin and the governer wearing all black suits, ZMAC, looking the same as always. *
Portly Fellow: The-um.. free clinic is on the other side of town.
Odin: No, we’re in the right place.
Portly Fellow: This is no social arcade for miscrants and riff-raff like yourself. This is the official headquarters of the United Nations. How’d you even get in here?
* Cairo lights up a Newport and takes a step forward. *
Cairo: Because the Godfather wills it so. I am the Governor of Poon Guinea and I have come to deligate my countries best intrests. AKA- MY best intrests. You best be getting out way.
Portly Fellow: I’ll make sure you are escorted from the premises.
* The portly man leaves for a moment and returns with Conrad in toe. *
Portly Fellow: This is the prime minister of Egypt. The New head of UN security. He’ll make sure that you are successfully removed from the grounds.
Conrad: The hell do you three want?
Odin: Why wernt we invited to the UN?
Conrad: You over threw a country, established an even worse tyrannical government and waged coked up gihad against other nations. That’s why you haven’t been invited.
Portly Fellow: You know these three?
* Conrad scouls at the man *
Conrad: Shut the fuck up!
* Conrad looks back at our three hero’s. The saviors of all Poon kind. It’s with great regret but he doesn’t second guess themselves. *
Conrad: Their fine.
* The portly man is aghast,. “ fine, fine?! “ Like a atom bomb went off in his skull, spewing radioactive anti-thinkness waves clear across his body. *
Portly Fellow: This is UN HEARD OF! They Hijacked a country!
Cairo: You left in the “ O.” Theres no “ O” in cunt-try. Only in the faces as those bitches cum from the coked up ponding given to them by The Godfather.
Portly Fellow: That is the most vile thing I’ve ever heard. That’s worse then if you had relations with your grandmother.
ZMAC: About that.
Odin: You’re a sick fuck, you know that?
ZMAC: I didn’t hear a no.
Conrad: I’m going to pretend like I didn’t hear you say that. I’ll meet you boys inside. We’re discussing what to do about Syria today.
Cairo: They can suck my fuckin dick for all I care.
Conrad: Ha! I knew I’ve like you Bobby- You’ll drive these stiff dicks nuts.
* Odin takes a blunt out of his suit jacket and lights it up. *
Conrad: And what the fuck are you doin?
Odin: Isn’t this America? I’m sorry, I thought this was America.
Conrad: Enjoy your first and last trip to the UN boys.
____________________________
Scene Two: Terror firma OR The Terra in her?
“ And this.. it.. ah.. can not stand. This.. three word.. speech. In such a form or fashion. Barry Oak, watched too much star treck in college. This Syrian problem.. it needs.. to be stopped. Don’t.. get it twisted. America wants peace just as much.. as .. anyone.. I can assure you. However, there will not be any American troops on the ground. We will have Syria disarm themselves of all chemical and or biological weaponary or.. we will.. use force .. as needed. “
Odin: So go blow his shit up!
* Odin yells from across the room, from all the way in the back row of the UN, from a folding table and a set of chairs. Cairo and ZMAC are banking trick shots in beer pong across the table just in back of Odin. Obama looks frustrated at the main pulpit. *
“ Who.. who is that.. Barry Oak demands to know. “
Odin: Odin Balfore. God of Poonguinea.
Obama: As I’ve said before.. ther ah.. will not be ANY boots on the ground.
Odin: I’m not talkin about boots on the ground. I’m talkin boots in asses. Man without a name type shit. Guns of the motha fucking navarone.
Obama: Mr. Balfore.. Don’t get it twisted. We all want peace but we know that repating this circle of violence will not let any innocent soul rest.
Odin: We’ll do it.
Obama:What?
Odin: We’ll do it. For a price.
Obama: You .. think you can come in here.. and ah.. strong arm the united nations? You must be smoking some of that.. Barry Oak Prime Rib Express.
Odin: I’ll tell you what Barry. You and All these pussy fuck, ANTI-Thick- no dick, brick layin motha fuckas can all sit here with your thumbs up your ass – OR- you can hire us. And I mean that as loosely as fuckin possible because We’re gunna do what ever the hell we want anyway.
Obama: What country do you represent again?
Odin: Poon Guinea.
Obama: Sir, that’s not even a true nation.
Odin: Oh, that must be why we have the UN surrounded right now.
Obama: That’s an act of terror.
Odin: NO, it’s to show you how easy it is to put boots on the ground in a peaceful manner. What we ain’t gunna do is follow you pipers into this cozy little hell of yours. On behalf of the Govern of Poon Guinea, whose currently wrecking it in Beer Pong- You give you an ultimateum. Well, not really cuz we’re gunna do it regardless. We- the Nation of Poon Guinea, a NON SACTIONED nation will declear open war on Syria and wipe is clean from the map.
Obama: And what do you want in exchange?
Odin: Simple. For Mcdonalds to serve Shamrock shakes all year round.
* Obama looks republic-founded. ( dumb founded ) *
Odin: Fuck no, their gunna do that shit anyway.
Obama: What was the point of all this.. if you’re.. going to under mind your own tactics?
Odin: Simple enough. Prove to you that on mear whim, I can lead n army onto US soil, invade the UN and make them bow to my iron python of True WCF Justice. We don’t get what we want. We just take it. Bobby Cairo, The WAR World Title Match. Me, the following week, The hardcore. Just figured I’d show everyone here that I’m not corporate puppet. While you’re all crying stank about Syria or your BS health care or Edward Snowden- we’re out in the shit. While EPPW tries about some masked man or the return of Johnny Fly at WAR Twelve that I accurately predicted like three months ago. To the Twilights making up such phony college excuses. First her grandpa- next the dog eats her diaphragm and she gets knocked up by yours truly. I’ve seen it a million times.
War is not a concern for me. For it is not my focus. Try as you all might to bolster yourselves. Puff out your chests and act all coy and cocky like we really give a fuck. I have no coy words today- no metaphors or anecdotes. I have no one to target or single out. EPPW WAR is nothing more than a pillow fight in full riot gear. I will go in. I will go out. I’ll collect my pay check and that’s going to be that. I have no pride for EPPW nor for The United Nations.
You don’t want to put boots on the ground and go hard as a motha fucka? We will. I have no intentions of winning WAR Twelve but I will take as many of these honky motha fucks with me.
Each and every last one of you.
The Govener of Poon Guinea and The Godfather of professional wrestling, along with The Asgardian All Father and the Commander of the Thousand Thickni Army, Zombie McMorris arrive on the scene of the United faggotry Nations of the world, like the bubonic plague into Europe. The three men walk in staggered formation, Odin leading the march with The Governor in the middle. Zmac walks behind them both, subsequencaly leading the army across the grounds. All the flags of the worlds nations fly high in the breeze. Conspiculantly absent from the banner persession is PoonGuinea, even The annexation of Egypt to Conrad is still represented. The army decends upon the gates, dressed in all black, parting all non poon-guineaians like RiRi’s supple ass checks. The army set up a make-shift shop of wears: All the finest Poonguinea products.
www.demsoc.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/jay-and-silent-bob.jpg
Two hype men stand out in front of the army, who have created a semi-circle the entrance of the UN building. The Thick-ni army now have taken passive control of the UN building, having a choke hold on all who go in and all who go out.
Inside the building, the Poon Gueanian ambassadors are stopped by a portly fellow who no doubt enjoys things most unthick in mature and his very prensence uneases the trio with a sense that HE had just made a huge mistake in approaching them; which he did.
Portly Fellow: Gentle-.. oh.
* He looks them once over, Odin and the governer wearing all black suits, ZMAC, looking the same as always. *
Portly Fellow: The-um.. free clinic is on the other side of town.
Odin: No, we’re in the right place.
Portly Fellow: This is no social arcade for miscrants and riff-raff like yourself. This is the official headquarters of the United Nations. How’d you even get in here?
* Cairo lights up a Newport and takes a step forward. *
Cairo: Because the Godfather wills it so. I am the Governor of Poon Guinea and I have come to deligate my countries best intrests. AKA- MY best intrests. You best be getting out way.
Portly Fellow: I’ll make sure you are escorted from the premises.
* The portly man leaves for a moment and returns with Conrad in toe. *
Portly Fellow: This is the prime minister of Egypt. The New head of UN security. He’ll make sure that you are successfully removed from the grounds.
Conrad: The hell do you three want?
Odin: Why wernt we invited to the UN?
Conrad: You over threw a country, established an even worse tyrannical government and waged coked up gihad against other nations. That’s why you haven’t been invited.
Portly Fellow: You know these three?
* Conrad scouls at the man *
Conrad: Shut the fuck up!
* Conrad looks back at our three hero’s. The saviors of all Poon kind. It’s with great regret but he doesn’t second guess themselves. *
Conrad: Their fine.
* The portly man is aghast,. “ fine, fine?! “ Like a atom bomb went off in his skull, spewing radioactive anti-thinkness waves clear across his body. *
Portly Fellow: This is UN HEARD OF! They Hijacked a country!
Cairo: You left in the “ O.” Theres no “ O” in cunt-try. Only in the faces as those bitches cum from the coked up ponding given to them by The Godfather.
Portly Fellow: That is the most vile thing I’ve ever heard. That’s worse then if you had relations with your grandmother.
ZMAC: About that.
Odin: You’re a sick fuck, you know that?
ZMAC: I didn’t hear a no.
Conrad: I’m going to pretend like I didn’t hear you say that. I’ll meet you boys inside. We’re discussing what to do about Syria today.
Cairo: They can suck my fuckin dick for all I care.
Conrad: Ha! I knew I’ve like you Bobby- You’ll drive these stiff dicks nuts.
* Odin takes a blunt out of his suit jacket and lights it up. *
Conrad: And what the fuck are you doin?
Odin: Isn’t this America? I’m sorry, I thought this was America.
Conrad: Enjoy your first and last trip to the UN boys.
____________________________
Scene Two: Terror firma OR The Terra in her?
“ And this.. it.. ah.. can not stand. This.. three word.. speech. In such a form or fashion. Barry Oak, watched too much star treck in college. This Syrian problem.. it needs.. to be stopped. Don’t.. get it twisted. America wants peace just as much.. as .. anyone.. I can assure you. However, there will not be any American troops on the ground. We will have Syria disarm themselves of all chemical and or biological weaponary or.. we will.. use force .. as needed. “
Odin: So go blow his shit up!
* Odin yells from across the room, from all the way in the back row of the UN, from a folding table and a set of chairs. Cairo and ZMAC are banking trick shots in beer pong across the table just in back of Odin. Obama looks frustrated at the main pulpit. *
“ Who.. who is that.. Barry Oak demands to know. “
Odin: Odin Balfore. God of Poonguinea.
Obama: As I’ve said before.. ther ah.. will not be ANY boots on the ground.
Odin: I’m not talkin about boots on the ground. I’m talkin boots in asses. Man without a name type shit. Guns of the motha fucking navarone.
Obama: Mr. Balfore.. Don’t get it twisted. We all want peace but we know that repating this circle of violence will not let any innocent soul rest.
Odin: We’ll do it.
Obama:What?
Odin: We’ll do it. For a price.
Obama: You .. think you can come in here.. and ah.. strong arm the united nations? You must be smoking some of that.. Barry Oak Prime Rib Express.
Odin: I’ll tell you what Barry. You and All these pussy fuck, ANTI-Thick- no dick, brick layin motha fuckas can all sit here with your thumbs up your ass – OR- you can hire us. And I mean that as loosely as fuckin possible because We’re gunna do what ever the hell we want anyway.
Obama: What country do you represent again?
Odin: Poon Guinea.
Obama: Sir, that’s not even a true nation.
Odin: Oh, that must be why we have the UN surrounded right now.
Obama: That’s an act of terror.
Odin: NO, it’s to show you how easy it is to put boots on the ground in a peaceful manner. What we ain’t gunna do is follow you pipers into this cozy little hell of yours. On behalf of the Govern of Poon Guinea, whose currently wrecking it in Beer Pong- You give you an ultimateum. Well, not really cuz we’re gunna do it regardless. We- the Nation of Poon Guinea, a NON SACTIONED nation will declear open war on Syria and wipe is clean from the map.
Obama: And what do you want in exchange?
Odin: Simple. For Mcdonalds to serve Shamrock shakes all year round.
* Obama looks republic-founded. ( dumb founded ) *
Odin: Fuck no, their gunna do that shit anyway.
Obama: What was the point of all this.. if you’re.. going to under mind your own tactics?
Odin: Simple enough. Prove to you that on mear whim, I can lead n army onto US soil, invade the UN and make them bow to my iron python of True WCF Justice. We don’t get what we want. We just take it. Bobby Cairo, The WAR World Title Match. Me, the following week, The hardcore. Just figured I’d show everyone here that I’m not corporate puppet. While you’re all crying stank about Syria or your BS health care or Edward Snowden- we’re out in the shit. While EPPW tries about some masked man or the return of Johnny Fly at WAR Twelve that I accurately predicted like three months ago. To the Twilights making up such phony college excuses. First her grandpa- next the dog eats her diaphragm and she gets knocked up by yours truly. I’ve seen it a million times.
War is not a concern for me. For it is not my focus. Try as you all might to bolster yourselves. Puff out your chests and act all coy and cocky like we really give a fuck. I have no coy words today- no metaphors or anecdotes. I have no one to target or single out. EPPW WAR is nothing more than a pillow fight in full riot gear. I will go in. I will go out. I’ll collect my pay check and that’s going to be that. I have no pride for EPPW nor for The United Nations.
You don’t want to put boots on the ground and go hard as a motha fucka? We will. I have no intentions of winning WAR Twelve but I will take as many of these honky motha fucks with me.
Each and every last one of you.
This isnt diplomacy. Its Poon-Plow-macy. No mercy. No tricks. Come in and get smashed. It's a sad day when dozzens of men are clawing at the title of EPPW.
Sadder days are yet to come but I will continue to fight the good fight for True WCF victory.
I.. WILL..FIGHT THE WAR
