Post by John Barber on Sept 28, 2013 18:42:31 GMT -5
Zach Davis: MOONSAULT! One more pin! One! Two!
Shannan Lerch: PRICE GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES.
Zach Davis: Jeff sits up, swearing, pissed that he just can't keep Eric Price down. He has one more trick up his sleeve... he begins climbing to the top rope. He's going for The Future.
Shannan Lerch: JEFF FLIES OFF AND HITS IT!
Zach Davis: NO! PRICE CATCHES HIM AND REVERSES IT INTO A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!
Shannan Lerch: ONE!
Zach Davis: TWO!
Shannan Lerch: NO! NO PURSE KICKS OUT!
Zach Davis: THIS IS HELLACIOUS! Neither one of these men will lose to the other one! They're both beaten to hell but just won't give up!
Shannan Lerch: They both rest on the mat for several moments until Price rolls out of the ring and grabs a steel chair.
Zach Davis: Price slides back in as Purse is up. Price swings the chair with all his might, anger in his eyes. Purse ducks it!, Springboards, and Dropkicks the chair right in Price's face!
Shannan Lerch: Blood splatters everywhere as Price drops the chair.. BUT HE WON'T GO DOWN.
Zach Davis: Using the last bit of energy he has, Purse runs to the ropes, jumps up... FLIES OFF AND HITS THE FUTURE!
Shannan Lerch: HERE'S THE PIN! JEFF HOOKS THE LEG! ONE!
Zach Davis: TWO!
Shannan Lerch: THREEEEEEE!
Zach Davis: WE'RE NOT KIDDING! THAT WAS REALLY THREE!
Shannan Lerch: Ladies and gentlemen... I don't believe it. Jeff Purse has become the new WCF World Champion.
The scene opens up in the backstage area at the US Airways Center in Phoenix, Arizona, the site of this year’s War match. Billy walks up to the DVD player and hits the eject button. He takes the DVD of last year’s War PPV and puts it back into a case, which he sets on top of a stack of DVDs with the name of each War event since the beginning labeled on each one.
John Barber stands up behind him, stretching and yawning.
John Barber
Man, Billy, I can’t believe you made us sit there and watch each one of them all in one day. I’m exhausted.
Billy
John, if’n I’m gonna be your manager, I’m doing it right dammit. You needed to watch each and every one of them to see what you’re going to go through. You needed to see what you’re up against and what it takes to win or like Gravedigger said, what it’s going to take to survive!
John Barber
Yeah but why did we have to spend the last couple of nights here including tonight as well? Why couldn’t we sleep at one of the local hotels like the other wrasslers?
Billy
Because John, we ain’t gonna half ass this. We gotta get you totally focused. You’re eatin, breathin and livin in this place. Well, we couldn’t really eat War itself, although I was considerin getting a cake made at one of the local bakeries with each of the War winners faces on it, but I realized how fattening that was and there’s only room for one fat guy on this team and I called dibs on that back when we were like 5 years old.
John Barber
Wait, you called dibs on being fat when we was little kids?
Billy
It’s a figure of speech, John.
John Barber
I don’t think that’s what that mea---
Billy holds his hand up for silence and John sighs.
John Barber
Alright, fine. What are we doin next to prepare?
Billy
We’re doing a montage, John.
John Barber
A what?
Billy
We’re doing a montage to show everyone how ready you are to be this year’s War winner.
John Barber
I’m not doing a montage.
Billy throws his hands up.
Billy
Well then what do ya wanna do, John? You want to be like everyone else and just respond to the people talking shit to ya and start naming everyone on the roster?
John Barber
What’s so wrong with that? Why fix something that ain’t broke? Isn’t that how the previous War winners won their matches from a psychology perspective?
Billy
Yeah, but we gotta show everyone how you’re different, John. Why do you keep shooting down all my ideas? I’ve had some great ones this week!
John scoffs.
John Barber
Oh really? Like your brilliant Back to the Future idea after you saw FPV’s promo the other day? The one where we rig up your truck like the DeLorean in the movie and we go a couple of days into the future to Monday to see who won and all that?
Billy
Hey that would have worked if I could have found a flux capacitor. Lowes said they was out of stock.
John Barber laughs.
John Barber
Billy, they was messin with you, hoss. There ain’t no such thing! Look, you believe that I need to stand out from the pack by doing something different to prepare for War and I get that, buddy. We did the whole Hulk Barber and Ultimate Billy the other day and that was cool and everything, but I don’t wanna do nothing else that’s all whacked out and crazy. Yeah, I’m not going to sit here and do some character study or run down the list of every participant to try and get in the heads of everyone in the match.
What I want to do is go out there where the ring is. The empty ring, the empty stands, the empty announcer table. For all we know, the German announcing team is probably sitting out there ready for tomorrow night’s event. You know how crazy those Germans are. We’re going to go out there and I’m just gonna talk. I’m gonna talk about how I’m going to be the one that survives the War match tomorrow night as the victor. Yeah, maybe I’m going to talk about a few participants and respond to some comments from people like Steve Orbit and Sarah Twilight.
Billy nods.
Billy
Ok fine, John. Let’s do it. I’ll grab the camera and we’ll make our way out there.
Billy walks over and grabs the camera. He holds it up as John walks out towards the gorilla position. John talks and occasionally glances over his shoulder.
John Barber
You know, this is a really exciting time for me to be in this here War match. Here I am just a few weeks into my WCF career and I’m going to be a member of one of the biggest matches in WCF hist’ry. Yeah, the whole fed is, it’s not like I excelled so much that I was entered into it ‘cause of that, but man. To possibly go from debuting a few weeks ago to winning the title of the Televisions to possibly becoming the WORLD CHAMPION all in a matter of a couple of months. Man, do you realize how much the PSWF’s stock would go up if I were to win War? Shitfire, Gravedigger and Jayson’s phones would be ringin’ off the hook with wrasslers dying to join Penn State Wrasslin Federation. Hell, it might earn some of my good buddies like Keynan Isara a roster spot up here in WCF.
The two finally reach the ringside area and John starts climbing the ring steps with Billy not far behind but he slows down before climbing into the ring when he spots the German announce team actually at their announcer table already. John stops and turns to Billy with a curious look on his face, gesturing towards the German announcers.
John Barber
You think we should go over and talk to ‘em? Ask ‘em why they’re already here?
Billy
Hell no, we don’t know German.
Suddenly, the two look over as they hear the two German announcers talking excitedly and one of them says what sounds like John Barber loudly in German. John looks a little confused for a few seconds at why they’re announcing right now but finally shakes his head and turns back to the camera as Billy turns it back towards John.
John Barber
There’s over 40 wrasslers in this here match and every single one of them are in it for themselves. They’re in this match for nothing more than glory, another notch on their belts. I’m in this match to show everyone what a Florida Cracker is all about. I’m representing the great state of Florida. I’m representing the fans and I’m representing PSWF. I’m in it to better myself as a wrassler. World title or no world title. I don’t need to win this match. I’m not Eric Price, Sarah Twilight, or Steve Orbit. I’m not some legend in the business like Logan, Bobby Cairo, or my mentor Gravedigger. I’m not some WCF veteran who desperately needs to get a good win streak under my belt and recover past glory like Odin Balfore, FPV, or Jay Price. The one thing all these people have in common is that they think The Florida Cracker has no chance at winning. Some of ‘em have even said that I have no chance of winning because I’m a rookie here in WCF, I just started out. I only have a few matches under my belt.
What was Gravedigger when he won War IV? What was Skyler Striker when he won War VII? What was Slickie T when he won War VIII? What was Jeff Purse when he won War XI? All of ‘em had only been here a few months or less. Some of ‘em were rookies in this business when they came to WCF and ended up winning War. I’m not comparing myself to these four men, just showing how stupid the idea of a new person winning War is. Just because Steve Orbit couldn’t get the job done last year doesn’t mean it was because he was still a WCF rookie. Yeah, the ones in this match that have been in it before have an advantage over the rest of us, but that advantage does not mean you’ll win. For all every last one of you know, the record book could list John Barber as this year’s winner when it’s all said and done.
Speaking of Steve Orbit, here you are acting all ignorant about my nickname “Florida Cracker”. It comes from the term cracker cowboy where Florida pioneers sometimes used whips to herd cattle, not their slaves. So get it right if you’re gonna insult my heritage. You don’t see me talking smack about your former profession. I haven’t quite decided if that’s man whore or pimp, but ain’t either one of ‘em something to be proud of from my neck of the woods. I ain’t judging though, that’s only for the good Lord above to do and ain’t my place. Even though you goin around insultin my heritage and talking smack about the profession of my ancestors, I’m still gonna have the smallest amount of respect for you just because Gravedigger does. If he respects you, that means something, but when and if we meet in this here ring tomorrow night, all that respect goes out the window. I won’t hesitate to take you out.
See, I didn’t want to go down the line listing every wrassler and I ain’t breaking that now. I just had to get that little bit off my chest. See tomorrow, Barbermania is gonna run wild on you and everyone else in that building. Even the owner fears how great I am in that ring. She stacked the odds against me last week in my TV title defense and I STILL came out on top. I STILL defended that TV title. What happens? That belt is ripped from my hands and I’m told if I want the belt back, I’ll get a shot after War, but then Seth swoops in and says I’m defending it tomorrow night. See, I’m just a couple of title defenses away from becoming the longest reigning TV champion of 2013 and that record ain’t that far from the longest reign since Jonny Fly. Sarah Twilight talks like I’m wasting time and piddling around in the TV title division, which further proves my point about her being afraid of where I’m going. Tomorrow night is going to see history made. Not because NvL will be the first world champion to walk into War and then back out still wearing the big gold belt. No. It’s going to be hist’ry tomorrow night when I walk into the PPV and successfully defend my TV title and then walk out of the War match with the World title as well.
The fans want to see it. My boys at PSWF want to see it. I want to see it. Everyone in the back wants to see it no matter if they want to admit it or not. Tomorrow night, everyone in WCF finds out what the Florida Cracker is all about! Now, don’t ya’ll take it personal when I make ya tap out ya hear?
The German announcers go wild at that comment and start speaking loudly and angrily in German. John grins and shakes his head as the scene fades to black.
Shannan Lerch: PRICE GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES.
Zach Davis: Jeff sits up, swearing, pissed that he just can't keep Eric Price down. He has one more trick up his sleeve... he begins climbing to the top rope. He's going for The Future.
Shannan Lerch: JEFF FLIES OFF AND HITS IT!
Zach Davis: NO! PRICE CATCHES HIM AND REVERSES IT INTO A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!
Shannan Lerch: ONE!
Zach Davis: TWO!
Shannan Lerch: NO! NO PURSE KICKS OUT!
Zach Davis: THIS IS HELLACIOUS! Neither one of these men will lose to the other one! They're both beaten to hell but just won't give up!
Shannan Lerch: They both rest on the mat for several moments until Price rolls out of the ring and grabs a steel chair.
Zach Davis: Price slides back in as Purse is up. Price swings the chair with all his might, anger in his eyes. Purse ducks it!, Springboards, and Dropkicks the chair right in Price's face!
Shannan Lerch: Blood splatters everywhere as Price drops the chair.. BUT HE WON'T GO DOWN.
Zach Davis: Using the last bit of energy he has, Purse runs to the ropes, jumps up... FLIES OFF AND HITS THE FUTURE!
Shannan Lerch: HERE'S THE PIN! JEFF HOOKS THE LEG! ONE!
Zach Davis: TWO!
Shannan Lerch: THREEEEEEE!
Zach Davis: WE'RE NOT KIDDING! THAT WAS REALLY THREE!
Shannan Lerch: Ladies and gentlemen... I don't believe it. Jeff Purse has become the new WCF World Champion.
The scene opens up in the backstage area at the US Airways Center in Phoenix, Arizona, the site of this year’s War match. Billy walks up to the DVD player and hits the eject button. He takes the DVD of last year’s War PPV and puts it back into a case, which he sets on top of a stack of DVDs with the name of each War event since the beginning labeled on each one.
John Barber stands up behind him, stretching and yawning.
John Barber
Man, Billy, I can’t believe you made us sit there and watch each one of them all in one day. I’m exhausted.
Billy
John, if’n I’m gonna be your manager, I’m doing it right dammit. You needed to watch each and every one of them to see what you’re going to go through. You needed to see what you’re up against and what it takes to win or like Gravedigger said, what it’s going to take to survive!
John Barber
Yeah but why did we have to spend the last couple of nights here including tonight as well? Why couldn’t we sleep at one of the local hotels like the other wrasslers?
Billy
Because John, we ain’t gonna half ass this. We gotta get you totally focused. You’re eatin, breathin and livin in this place. Well, we couldn’t really eat War itself, although I was considerin getting a cake made at one of the local bakeries with each of the War winners faces on it, but I realized how fattening that was and there’s only room for one fat guy on this team and I called dibs on that back when we were like 5 years old.
John Barber
Wait, you called dibs on being fat when we was little kids?
Billy
It’s a figure of speech, John.
John Barber
I don’t think that’s what that mea---
Billy holds his hand up for silence and John sighs.
John Barber
Alright, fine. What are we doin next to prepare?
Billy
We’re doing a montage, John.
John Barber
A what?
Billy
We’re doing a montage to show everyone how ready you are to be this year’s War winner.
John Barber
I’m not doing a montage.
Billy throws his hands up.
Billy
Well then what do ya wanna do, John? You want to be like everyone else and just respond to the people talking shit to ya and start naming everyone on the roster?
John Barber
What’s so wrong with that? Why fix something that ain’t broke? Isn’t that how the previous War winners won their matches from a psychology perspective?
Billy
Yeah, but we gotta show everyone how you’re different, John. Why do you keep shooting down all my ideas? I’ve had some great ones this week!
John scoffs.
John Barber
Oh really? Like your brilliant Back to the Future idea after you saw FPV’s promo the other day? The one where we rig up your truck like the DeLorean in the movie and we go a couple of days into the future to Monday to see who won and all that?
Billy
Hey that would have worked if I could have found a flux capacitor. Lowes said they was out of stock.
John Barber laughs.
John Barber
Billy, they was messin with you, hoss. There ain’t no such thing! Look, you believe that I need to stand out from the pack by doing something different to prepare for War and I get that, buddy. We did the whole Hulk Barber and Ultimate Billy the other day and that was cool and everything, but I don’t wanna do nothing else that’s all whacked out and crazy. Yeah, I’m not going to sit here and do some character study or run down the list of every participant to try and get in the heads of everyone in the match.
What I want to do is go out there where the ring is. The empty ring, the empty stands, the empty announcer table. For all we know, the German announcing team is probably sitting out there ready for tomorrow night’s event. You know how crazy those Germans are. We’re going to go out there and I’m just gonna talk. I’m gonna talk about how I’m going to be the one that survives the War match tomorrow night as the victor. Yeah, maybe I’m going to talk about a few participants and respond to some comments from people like Steve Orbit and Sarah Twilight.
Billy nods.
Billy
Ok fine, John. Let’s do it. I’ll grab the camera and we’ll make our way out there.
Billy walks over and grabs the camera. He holds it up as John walks out towards the gorilla position. John talks and occasionally glances over his shoulder.
John Barber
You know, this is a really exciting time for me to be in this here War match. Here I am just a few weeks into my WCF career and I’m going to be a member of one of the biggest matches in WCF hist’ry. Yeah, the whole fed is, it’s not like I excelled so much that I was entered into it ‘cause of that, but man. To possibly go from debuting a few weeks ago to winning the title of the Televisions to possibly becoming the WORLD CHAMPION all in a matter of a couple of months. Man, do you realize how much the PSWF’s stock would go up if I were to win War? Shitfire, Gravedigger and Jayson’s phones would be ringin’ off the hook with wrasslers dying to join Penn State Wrasslin Federation. Hell, it might earn some of my good buddies like Keynan Isara a roster spot up here in WCF.
The two finally reach the ringside area and John starts climbing the ring steps with Billy not far behind but he slows down before climbing into the ring when he spots the German announce team actually at their announcer table already. John stops and turns to Billy with a curious look on his face, gesturing towards the German announcers.
John Barber
You think we should go over and talk to ‘em? Ask ‘em why they’re already here?
Billy
Hell no, we don’t know German.
Suddenly, the two look over as they hear the two German announcers talking excitedly and one of them says what sounds like John Barber loudly in German. John looks a little confused for a few seconds at why they’re announcing right now but finally shakes his head and turns back to the camera as Billy turns it back towards John.
John Barber
There’s over 40 wrasslers in this here match and every single one of them are in it for themselves. They’re in this match for nothing more than glory, another notch on their belts. I’m in this match to show everyone what a Florida Cracker is all about. I’m representing the great state of Florida. I’m representing the fans and I’m representing PSWF. I’m in it to better myself as a wrassler. World title or no world title. I don’t need to win this match. I’m not Eric Price, Sarah Twilight, or Steve Orbit. I’m not some legend in the business like Logan, Bobby Cairo, or my mentor Gravedigger. I’m not some WCF veteran who desperately needs to get a good win streak under my belt and recover past glory like Odin Balfore, FPV, or Jay Price. The one thing all these people have in common is that they think The Florida Cracker has no chance at winning. Some of ‘em have even said that I have no chance of winning because I’m a rookie here in WCF, I just started out. I only have a few matches under my belt.
What was Gravedigger when he won War IV? What was Skyler Striker when he won War VII? What was Slickie T when he won War VIII? What was Jeff Purse when he won War XI? All of ‘em had only been here a few months or less. Some of ‘em were rookies in this business when they came to WCF and ended up winning War. I’m not comparing myself to these four men, just showing how stupid the idea of a new person winning War is. Just because Steve Orbit couldn’t get the job done last year doesn’t mean it was because he was still a WCF rookie. Yeah, the ones in this match that have been in it before have an advantage over the rest of us, but that advantage does not mean you’ll win. For all every last one of you know, the record book could list John Barber as this year’s winner when it’s all said and done.
Speaking of Steve Orbit, here you are acting all ignorant about my nickname “Florida Cracker”. It comes from the term cracker cowboy where Florida pioneers sometimes used whips to herd cattle, not their slaves. So get it right if you’re gonna insult my heritage. You don’t see me talking smack about your former profession. I haven’t quite decided if that’s man whore or pimp, but ain’t either one of ‘em something to be proud of from my neck of the woods. I ain’t judging though, that’s only for the good Lord above to do and ain’t my place. Even though you goin around insultin my heritage and talking smack about the profession of my ancestors, I’m still gonna have the smallest amount of respect for you just because Gravedigger does. If he respects you, that means something, but when and if we meet in this here ring tomorrow night, all that respect goes out the window. I won’t hesitate to take you out.
See, I didn’t want to go down the line listing every wrassler and I ain’t breaking that now. I just had to get that little bit off my chest. See tomorrow, Barbermania is gonna run wild on you and everyone else in that building. Even the owner fears how great I am in that ring. She stacked the odds against me last week in my TV title defense and I STILL came out on top. I STILL defended that TV title. What happens? That belt is ripped from my hands and I’m told if I want the belt back, I’ll get a shot after War, but then Seth swoops in and says I’m defending it tomorrow night. See, I’m just a couple of title defenses away from becoming the longest reigning TV champion of 2013 and that record ain’t that far from the longest reign since Jonny Fly. Sarah Twilight talks like I’m wasting time and piddling around in the TV title division, which further proves my point about her being afraid of where I’m going. Tomorrow night is going to see history made. Not because NvL will be the first world champion to walk into War and then back out still wearing the big gold belt. No. It’s going to be hist’ry tomorrow night when I walk into the PPV and successfully defend my TV title and then walk out of the War match with the World title as well.
The fans want to see it. My boys at PSWF want to see it. I want to see it. Everyone in the back wants to see it no matter if they want to admit it or not. Tomorrow night, everyone in WCF finds out what the Florida Cracker is all about! Now, don’t ya’ll take it personal when I make ya tap out ya hear?
The German announcers go wild at that comment and start speaking loudly and angrily in German. John grins and shakes his head as the scene fades to black.
