Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2013 18:24:49 GMT -5
The scene opens up in the backstage area of the Myth in the area where wrestlers sometimes cut their little promos. Yeah, Gravedigger is standing there, doing his promo old school, because he is old school. He is pulling on his goatee as the camera turns to him. A signal is given and Gravedigger gets down to business like he always does.
Gravedigger
XIII. One of the most hardcore fucking shows that WCF or EPPW or whatever you want to call it does each and every year. My record isn’t the greatest at this show. I think I’ve been on what 3 or 4 of these and won one time, right? So that already stacks the odds against me. Then there’s also the fact that I’ve accumulated all this ring rust seeing as how I haven’t been in the ring in months. So, this stacks the odds further against my favor. Then there’s also the fact that I’m nearing 40 years old while my opponent is likely still in his 20s. So, I mean what’s the point in me even showing up tonight? Why would I even bother lacing up the boots? These are the questions people are probably asking themselves right now.
So here’s the answer: because I’m up against Waylon Cash. Waylon, you’re the reason I’m lacing up these boots right now. If I was going up against Steve Orbit or NvL or any of the other big names in this company, I’d probably realize that I’m in over my head. I’d still probably show up just to give the fans a good show, but my heart wouldn’t be in it enough to win. See here’s the thing, I just pointed out that you weren’t a big name in this company. You think you are, you believe you are, you talk like you are, but Waylon Cash…WHO THE FUCK IS WAYLON CASH?
Oh big deal, your little group, SPAC took apart the ring. Bravo. You guys are such big shots because you can show that you still remember the fundamentals of becoming a professional wrestler. You demonstrated to the masses that when your trainers were showing you all the hard work it takes to put together the shows you’d be in each week when you reached the pinnacle of professional wrestling, that you’d understand exactly what it takes. Your trainers are so proud that you remember such a fundamental skill to being a wrestler. The sad thing is, that moment when your group was taking apart the ring to make your statement, that’s the biggest thing you’ve done in over a year.
Oh yeah, you and your boy Steve Orbit held the tag titles for a couple of months on two separate occasions. Big fucking deal, Cash. The tag team titles. The title belts that 90% of WCF and EPPW have never given two shits about throughout their entire careers. Hell at one point I held both the tag titles and the world titles at the same time. No one came running after the tag titles, they wanted the world title. So who gives a fuck about you being a two-time tag team champion. Did I just mention the world title?
See here’s a funny thing here in EPPW. Everyone talks so much shit to Jay fucking Price about his world title reign of 16 days. They give him so much crap about it, about having one of the lowest world title reigns, but see they forget about you. 14 days. You just barely squeaked in two weeks as a world champion. That was your ONLY reign and looking back since then, it’s been one of the very few times you’ve been given a world title shot. Hell, someone as old as me and as unwanted as you proclaim I am, I had a title shot last year. Yet you stunk up the world title scene with one of the shortest world title reigns of the year…hell it was one of the shortest title reigns in our company’s history.
This promo has flow, because I’m going from one point to another, making one point and using key words to flow into my next point. I figured I’d point this out for your ring rat self seeing as how you like to show everyone the basics of wrestling. What was the next point? It was when I just mentioned you being forgotten as one of the worst world champions in the company’s history. You are forgotten. Look at where you’ve been. You were a member of Genesis. They were a pretty big faction here in EPPW, but where the fuck where you the whole time? Yeah, you were in the fucking background. You were in the promos revolving around Sarah and all the problems that went on in that group, but you did nothing more than play a bit character in all those segments. You were standing in the shadows. You were standing in Steve Orbit’s shadow in The Homegrown Players.
So what did you do after Genesis broke up? Had you exceled and gotten better? Were you going to become the next big thing? No, you’re now part of SPAC. A group where you’re in the shadow of Scott Savage. Until she turned on your group, Ana Valentine was a bigger name in SPAC. So you didn’t learn shit from Genesis. Once more, the other people in the group were bigger names than you. John Gable? Scott Savage? Ana Valentine? Where the fuck did Waylon Cash go? Oh wait, that’s right, he’s in the fucking background once more.
Bravado is the only group I’ve ever been in throughout my entire career where I wasn’t in the spotlight. And I’ve been in a lot of groups throughout my career. You want to talk about my career and brag about how it’s in the past. Bitch, my career is greater than yours will EVER be. You could be in EPPW for ten more years and I guarantee you will never have won War like I have. Hell you’ll be lucky if you even get another world title around your waist between now and the day you retire. You talk like people don’t want my autographs and that people don’t give a shit about me no more, but the only one foolish enough to believe that is you.
The funniest part about your little promo was that you did it in a graveyard and stood beside a blank tombstone saying my name was going to be there. Hardy har har, Waylon, like I’ve never gotten that before from another wrestler’s promo. See, this is why you’re in the background. This is why you had a 14 day world title reign. Because you pull amateurish shit that makes everyone go “is this guy serious?” You talk about how I’m not hungry anymore for success in this business and how that hunger nips at your heels all the time. First of all, I like how your analogy says it nips at your heels, because we all know it’s trying to chase your little bitch ass and catch you so you can actually do something about your career. But that’s the thing, right Waylon? It can’t catch, just like you can’t catch a break. Yeah, Waylon, there’s a chance that you will beat me tonight and win. There’s a chance that you’ll be able to say that you beat me, but a win or a loss doesn’t do shit for my career. My career is already written. If I win tonight, there’s no fucking point in me telling anyone, because they’ll be like “Waylon who?” I’ll be like “yeah, you know, that guy who works for the ring crew and ripped off XPac’s name for their group”. “Oh yeah that loser.” See that’s right, that imaginary guy who said you’re a loser is right Waylon. What the fuck have you done in the last year? What the fuck have you REALLY done in your career? You’ve skated by, hoping no one paid attention. Well, I’m paying attention right now.
My career for the most part is over and done with. Yours? It never really started and if I gotta be brutally honest, I don’t believe it’s ever going to. Tonight isn’t about me beating you and proving the haters, everyone including you, wrong. No, no. Tonight is about me shaking off the ring rust and getting ready for a certain match in a couple of weeks…War. Tonight is my warm-up match for War. Waylon, you wanted to talk shit on Twitter and I returned that tenfold. You talk about beating my ass and putting me in a grave. Tonight, I’m going to return that tenfold. Tonight, Waylon Cash, I’m going to fucking bury you.
Gravedigger shoves the camera out of the way as he walks off. The scene fades to black.
Gravedigger
XIII. One of the most hardcore fucking shows that WCF or EPPW or whatever you want to call it does each and every year. My record isn’t the greatest at this show. I think I’ve been on what 3 or 4 of these and won one time, right? So that already stacks the odds against me. Then there’s also the fact that I’ve accumulated all this ring rust seeing as how I haven’t been in the ring in months. So, this stacks the odds further against my favor. Then there’s also the fact that I’m nearing 40 years old while my opponent is likely still in his 20s. So, I mean what’s the point in me even showing up tonight? Why would I even bother lacing up the boots? These are the questions people are probably asking themselves right now.
So here’s the answer: because I’m up against Waylon Cash. Waylon, you’re the reason I’m lacing up these boots right now. If I was going up against Steve Orbit or NvL or any of the other big names in this company, I’d probably realize that I’m in over my head. I’d still probably show up just to give the fans a good show, but my heart wouldn’t be in it enough to win. See here’s the thing, I just pointed out that you weren’t a big name in this company. You think you are, you believe you are, you talk like you are, but Waylon Cash…WHO THE FUCK IS WAYLON CASH?
Oh big deal, your little group, SPAC took apart the ring. Bravo. You guys are such big shots because you can show that you still remember the fundamentals of becoming a professional wrestler. You demonstrated to the masses that when your trainers were showing you all the hard work it takes to put together the shows you’d be in each week when you reached the pinnacle of professional wrestling, that you’d understand exactly what it takes. Your trainers are so proud that you remember such a fundamental skill to being a wrestler. The sad thing is, that moment when your group was taking apart the ring to make your statement, that’s the biggest thing you’ve done in over a year.
Oh yeah, you and your boy Steve Orbit held the tag titles for a couple of months on two separate occasions. Big fucking deal, Cash. The tag team titles. The title belts that 90% of WCF and EPPW have never given two shits about throughout their entire careers. Hell at one point I held both the tag titles and the world titles at the same time. No one came running after the tag titles, they wanted the world title. So who gives a fuck about you being a two-time tag team champion. Did I just mention the world title?
See here’s a funny thing here in EPPW. Everyone talks so much shit to Jay fucking Price about his world title reign of 16 days. They give him so much crap about it, about having one of the lowest world title reigns, but see they forget about you. 14 days. You just barely squeaked in two weeks as a world champion. That was your ONLY reign and looking back since then, it’s been one of the very few times you’ve been given a world title shot. Hell, someone as old as me and as unwanted as you proclaim I am, I had a title shot last year. Yet you stunk up the world title scene with one of the shortest world title reigns of the year…hell it was one of the shortest title reigns in our company’s history.
This promo has flow, because I’m going from one point to another, making one point and using key words to flow into my next point. I figured I’d point this out for your ring rat self seeing as how you like to show everyone the basics of wrestling. What was the next point? It was when I just mentioned you being forgotten as one of the worst world champions in the company’s history. You are forgotten. Look at where you’ve been. You were a member of Genesis. They were a pretty big faction here in EPPW, but where the fuck where you the whole time? Yeah, you were in the fucking background. You were in the promos revolving around Sarah and all the problems that went on in that group, but you did nothing more than play a bit character in all those segments. You were standing in the shadows. You were standing in Steve Orbit’s shadow in The Homegrown Players.
So what did you do after Genesis broke up? Had you exceled and gotten better? Were you going to become the next big thing? No, you’re now part of SPAC. A group where you’re in the shadow of Scott Savage. Until she turned on your group, Ana Valentine was a bigger name in SPAC. So you didn’t learn shit from Genesis. Once more, the other people in the group were bigger names than you. John Gable? Scott Savage? Ana Valentine? Where the fuck did Waylon Cash go? Oh wait, that’s right, he’s in the fucking background once more.
Bravado is the only group I’ve ever been in throughout my entire career where I wasn’t in the spotlight. And I’ve been in a lot of groups throughout my career. You want to talk about my career and brag about how it’s in the past. Bitch, my career is greater than yours will EVER be. You could be in EPPW for ten more years and I guarantee you will never have won War like I have. Hell you’ll be lucky if you even get another world title around your waist between now and the day you retire. You talk like people don’t want my autographs and that people don’t give a shit about me no more, but the only one foolish enough to believe that is you.
The funniest part about your little promo was that you did it in a graveyard and stood beside a blank tombstone saying my name was going to be there. Hardy har har, Waylon, like I’ve never gotten that before from another wrestler’s promo. See, this is why you’re in the background. This is why you had a 14 day world title reign. Because you pull amateurish shit that makes everyone go “is this guy serious?” You talk about how I’m not hungry anymore for success in this business and how that hunger nips at your heels all the time. First of all, I like how your analogy says it nips at your heels, because we all know it’s trying to chase your little bitch ass and catch you so you can actually do something about your career. But that’s the thing, right Waylon? It can’t catch, just like you can’t catch a break. Yeah, Waylon, there’s a chance that you will beat me tonight and win. There’s a chance that you’ll be able to say that you beat me, but a win or a loss doesn’t do shit for my career. My career is already written. If I win tonight, there’s no fucking point in me telling anyone, because they’ll be like “Waylon who?” I’ll be like “yeah, you know, that guy who works for the ring crew and ripped off XPac’s name for their group”. “Oh yeah that loser.” See that’s right, that imaginary guy who said you’re a loser is right Waylon. What the fuck have you done in the last year? What the fuck have you REALLY done in your career? You’ve skated by, hoping no one paid attention. Well, I’m paying attention right now.
My career for the most part is over and done with. Yours? It never really started and if I gotta be brutally honest, I don’t believe it’s ever going to. Tonight isn’t about me beating you and proving the haters, everyone including you, wrong. No, no. Tonight is about me shaking off the ring rust and getting ready for a certain match in a couple of weeks…War. Tonight is my warm-up match for War. Waylon, you wanted to talk shit on Twitter and I returned that tenfold. You talk about beating my ass and putting me in a grave. Tonight, I’m going to return that tenfold. Tonight, Waylon Cash, I’m going to fucking bury you.
Gravedigger shoves the camera out of the way as he walks off. The scene fades to black.
