Can i have some feedback

[Seifer Black]

Can i have feedback on my latest rp please

[Jeff Purse]

Sure. I just read it. I will say first off, Jeff Hardy is one of my favs, a lot of my guys moves are based on him, and his style is pretty much the same as Jeff's. I even used Jeff Hardy's height and weight as Jeff Purse's height and weight. So good job on the pic base, lol.


Second, I, personally, am not a fan of first person RP's. They don't make sense to me, strictly from a readers position. I don't know, I am not a fan of that style.

Second, the RP itself was decent. You had a lot of good GRRR toward your oppenet. You had a good amount of response/Original content. You could have gone a little further with it, but it wasn't bad at all.

The story itself could have been developed a little more. You had one paragraph stating where you were, what you were doing, but I thought you could have expanded on that a little more.


All in all, not bad though. Keep up the good work!