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Post by Tim on Apr 29, 2013 10:43:29 GMT -5
Blog Entry #1
So I started to write this blog because I wanted to record the moments in my WCF career. My cousin advised me to do it. What the shit, cuz? You expect me to write it like some fucking diary? For fuck's sake. I guess I'll start with some shit.
What can I think off first...oh yeah! First of all Eric Price: Fuck you for accusing me for something I would never do. I would never fucking attack my homeboy, Morientes. I was with Vengeance the entire night. Ask him! You're just sore that you fucking lost the World Championship and that Jeff Purse kicked your ass. Fuck you, you're a piece of shit, I hope you suffer in silence and crawl back to the fuck from whence you came and never come back!
Anyway, now that my venting is gone, I've got a lot of business to get off my chest.
First of all, the Internet Championship. This is what I want to address. While everyone else is a piece of shit, there are only three guys that are a real challenge.
Gravedigger
Doc Henry
Corey Black
Yeah, these three motherfuckers think that they're all the best just because they've won many titles. News for all of you dipshits: the only title you're all never gonna win in WCF is the Internet title, which I've won once! The name of the Internet title battle royal should be called "Go fuck yourselves" because once I win this match, you all can go fuck yourselves with your old people past.
Gravedigger, you old sack of shit. Who the fuck are you trying to fool, telling everyone that you're gonna win this thing and with your stupid ignorance? The losses you've suffered are the banes of your existence. I'm gonna do what all my Rebellion stablemates did: kick your ass!
Doc Henry, the cowboy. You already have the Confederate title, you might as well drop it for a proper title. No wonder you're called the Southern Rogue, because you fuckin' suck. And ninjas are better than rogues!
Corey Black, the guy who only lives up to his name because of his hair and outfit. The guy thinks he's gonna beat me when he's competing for a title he's never won. Let me tell you this: you want the internet. But the internet doesn't fucking want you alright? You can take that jobberkill and shove it up your ass!
And the rest of you, get ready to be killed. Because I'm coming to kill you.
Now that shit is done, I'm gonna review the Aftermath show, because I fucking can.
The first is my top 5 matches of the show.
5. Kira Sakazaki vs Doc Henry
-A fine way to see a good comeback.
4. Jonny Fly & Corey Black vs Steve Orbit & Waylon Cash
-I hate to admit it, but it was great to see tension between these guys.
3. Tek vs Steeltoe Joe vs FPV vs Oblivion vs Jay Price
-There was so much violence which I loved.
2. Ana Valentine vs Benjamin Atreyu vs Skyler Striker
-Best way to conclude a tournament.
1. Sarah Twilight vs Eric Price
-While the Clockwork House of Fun Ladder match was hellacious, the new match called the 'Abject Humiliation' was the biggest freakshow of the PPV.
And my top 5 wrestlers of the event.
5. Kira Sakazaki
-His comeback was my favorite and it showed that he still has the skill.
4. Ana Valentine
-I just love it when she handles such an abusive ex-boyfriend like Buzzsaw Bundy.
3. Skyler Striker
-Despite losing the Television title, which I think it's a good choice because he doesn't have to carry so much baggage when he's focusing on the World title.
2. Jeff Purse and Odin Balfore
-These both share the spot because of their personal returns. Jeff Purse beginning his revenge on Eric Price while Seth Lerch dissing Jonny Fly by hiring Odin Balfore.
1. Sarah Twilight
-I just love her inhuman endurance when she's still conscious after receiving the World title match injuries and the post match attack by Odin. It's like Jonny Fly overcoming the odds at One after so many interferences while Sarah getting stabbed so many times.
Well, with all the pleasantries dispatched, I'm gonna train myself to pwn some noobs on the Wednesday Night show. By the way, I'm making this a captain's log.
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Post by Tim on Apr 29, 2013 18:00:18 GMT -5
Blog Entry #2
Well, I just got fired because the WCF Boss, Jonny Fly is totally a biased assfaggot who likes to munch on donkey dick. He's no good, he's a stupid suit wearing shit who can go fuck himself.
So anyway, my contract ends in 5 days. In the meantime, I still have time to take the Internet title in my hands. If I do win the title, I keep it and Jonny Fly would have no choice but to keep me in the roster. Even if I'm out, Rebellion can back me up...well I don't know about Gable. He seems to think differently.
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Post by Doc Henry on Apr 29, 2013 19:37:59 GMT -5
@southernrogue
The Confederate Championship has been retired for a while now... You got fired because your irrelevant and don't pay attention, try staying current for a change..
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Post by Tim on Apr 29, 2013 19:53:06 GMT -5
@theninja
@southernrogue I'm gonna win before I leave the company.
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Post by Tim on Apr 30, 2013 21:59:56 GMT -5
Blog Entry #3
"I Am The Next Internet Champion" thread should be called "I Am Legend" because basically when I defeat everyone in the Internet battle royal, it'll make me a legend of the internet. Corey Black is right. He can actually make people give a fuck about the Internet title, because I'm gonna be the one to say that I kicked his ass for it. Doc Henry, I'm gonna make sure you retire your dignity as well as you retire the Confederate title.
Now for the Trios Cup, I'm gonna be teaming up with my homeboys, John Gable and Morientes! We are gonna be facing the Hellbilly, Been Jammin' and Wildcard! These guys are tough and dangerous! However, Rebellion has the advantage because we're a team and that makes up awesome! Everyone else, well except Genesis and Pantheon, are randomized. So they're easy targets to beat.
Gable, try not to go all out on your own. Yeah, I'm talking to you.
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Post by Tim on May 2, 2013 2:01:01 GMT -5
Blog Entry #4
I have to admit. That was an awesome battle royal. Props to Corey Black for escaping very well from the throw. Though the next time we meet, I'll be sure to win for sure. Black, you better retain the title. My goal is to defeat you and win the championship.
Anyway, that battle royal was a huge warm-up for me to wrestle in the Trios Cup. Once Rebellion goes through these few rounds, we will simply be dominating. My biggest wish is to face Pantheon in the finals. Maybe I can battle Corey Black again. Title or non-title, he seemed to be the strongest competitor I've ever faced.
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Post by Tim on May 6, 2013 1:04:12 GMT -5
Blog Entry #5
Trios Cup in the 1st round? That didn't go well for me. Even though Rebellion got the win, I felt that I let my guard down like that. I need to train harder!
But seriously, what the hell was that shit Gable and Mori? We're supposed to be teaming up for the Trios Cup and you two ended up having a match for the Television title next week! What the shit?! Where does that leave me?! This is bullshit!
Anyway, judging in the auditions with Lajon Witherspoon (Sevendust) and Cristina Scabbia (Lacuna Coil) were pretty awesome, despite the 'musical talent' we had in the auditions. Thank god it's a one time thing.
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 21:52:56 GMT -5
Comment by Morientes:
Hey hermano, no worries there. I'm going to speak with the board of directors sooner rather than later about this entire thing. I have a high suspicion the match will be able to be cancelled, seeing that we are in the second round of the tournament, and that takes priority over anything. Nothing will stop us winning on Sunday and going all the way to the Trios Cup. I got your back, and I know you got mine. Gable... well the bobo can decide whether he wants to be the little bitch he always is, or man up and do his best like I know he can.
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Post by Tim on May 9, 2013 2:09:57 GMT -5
Comment by Morientes: Hey hermano, no worries there. I'm going to speak with the board of directors sooner rather than later about this entire thing. I have a high suspicion the match will be able to be cancelled, seeing that we are in the second round of the tournament, and that takes priority over anything. Nothing will stop us winning on Sunday and going all the way to the Trios Cup. I got your back, and I know you got mine. Gable... well the bobo can decide whether he wants to be the little bitch he always is, or man up and do his best like I know he can. Reply by The Ninja: Good. If Rebellion were on the verge of breaking up, then I'm blaming both of you. |
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Post by Tim on May 9, 2013 6:13:59 GMT -5
Blog Entry #6
So we're gonna be facing another wild card of opponents. Kira Sakazaki, whose also Japanese like me, but I have a more fluent language in English. Voodoo, who seems nothing more like a Papa Shango knock-off. And Grave Dancer, who could be considered as the long lost cousin of Gravedigger, but both are too stupid to notice.
Bigger news is that I get to face the Corey Black for the Internet title! Well, when Rebellion gets through the semi-finals, it'll be a warm-up match instead. Because I know Pantheon is gonna win, just not against Rebellion. If I lose, which is not possible because I'm badass, I can at least get Black exhausted for the finals.
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Post by Tim on May 12, 2013 13:31:07 GMT -5
Blog Entry #7
In Madrid right now! The first thing I did was go to a Mardi Gras! I frickin' love those parades and festivals! And there's a lot of awesome food there, although I get Spanish mixed up with Mexican. Oh well.
Well, my opponents don't seem to be much of a threat. Crazy wild bunch there is. Kira Sakizaki seems to be the more stronger one, because he was last year's winner with both Johnny Reb and Chad Evans. Though I'm disappointed that he's teamed up with two rookies.
Ah, the Internet title. Wednesday Night is going to be one slobber knocker. Corey Black is quite a formidable foe. I would've won, but he had outsmarted me. I overestimated him. It won't happen again. Three days, Black. Three, fucking, days, you'll be enjoying that title after Slam ends.
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2013 1:45:50 GMT -5
Yo why is this Ninja dude gettin' shots at da internet
when I been bustin' freestylez n' smokin' cigarettes
he's whack, talent? he ain't got a hint of that
I should be shinin' while he stayin' in da back
this week just be another win for Black
my rhymes tight, his skill is..non existent
he been fired eight times and, still persistent
thinkin' in that whack brain he can...go the distance
like he got shit for Pantheon to...show resistance
he need an army and he..short enlistments
dude doesn't even matter at all
his claim to fame is being trained by Joel Hall
that in itself is a bigger joke than me
and my ass is tryna be black while pasty
so my challenge goin' out to black to face me
if that dude's a ninja then i'm bugs bunny
cause i ain't findin' none of this dude's shit funny
i guess i could say what up Doc..Henry?
jobber king of the world which i bet ninja envies
he wanna take da internet by storm
cept nobody told him his gimmick is worn
i may be a white dude rapper, pale as they come
but i know my place is in the opener, son
you ain't figured out why people make fun of you
is cause you're a nobody who claim to know kung fu
eight time wcf been done wit you
so now you hear it from Skittlez when i say fuck you.
i'm outtie.
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Post by Tim on May 14, 2013 2:07:57 GMT -5
Yo why is this Ninja dude gettin' shots at da internet when I been bustin' freestylez n' smokin' cigarettes he's whack, talent? he ain't got a hint of that I should be shinin' while he stayin' in da back this week just be another win for Black my rhymes tight, his skill is..non existent he been fired eight times and, still persistent thinkin' in that whack brain he can...go the distance like he got shit for Pantheon to...show resistance he need an army and he..short enlistments dude doesn't even matter at all his claim to fame is being trained by Joel Hall that in itself is a bigger joke than me and my ass is tryna be black while pasty so my challenge goin' out to black to face me if that dude's a ninja then i'm bugs bunny cause i ain't findin' none of this dude's shit funny i guess i could say what up Doc..Henry? jobber king of the world which i bet ninja envies he wanna take da internet by storm cept nobody told him his gimmick is worn i may be a white dude rapper, pale as they come but i know my place is in the opener, son you ain't figured out why people make fun of you is cause you're a nobody who claim to know kung fu eight time wcf been done wit you so now you hear it from Skittlez when i say fuck you. i'm outtie. Reply from The Ninja: Interesting rap. I'm gonna have to reply each line with my own comments.
I'm getting shots at the Internet title because I'm better than you. You don't get a title shot because you're a bad influence to children around the world. I've got talent enough to kick your ass. You're shining alright. Like a bug zapper. He's not gonna win because I am. Your singing nursery rhymes while my skills exist, just hidden. Actually, this is the first time I was fired. My brain is whack enough to go further than you. Pantheon fired you because you suck. The army I'm from is Rebellion. You don't even matter. Ninjas are trained by ninjas. The real joke is your shitty name. You're worse than Corey Black And Black doesn't even waste time with jobbers like you. You look close to Bugs Bunny, considering how ugly your teeth are. I don't intend it to be funny. Doc Henry's behind me. He's the Jobber King while you're the Jobber Knave I don't take things by storm because I control the storm. You don't see any ninjas in other promotions because they can kill. You're a wigger, that's what you are. Opener? Hah! You're just enhancement talent. They make fun of me because I simply kick clowns like you in the face. I was Internet champion before. Again, the first time I've been fired. Why would I bother listening to a homosexual prostitute who's named after rainbow-themed candy? You're outtie alright. Outtie for another potta party.
Now, I'm just gonna take time to process my thinking. Alright. 1. You got your ass kicked by a masked cheetah. 2. You're not a rapper. 3. You live in a tiny box similar to the ones Derrick Slicer and Tara Moonlight live in. 4. You don't even do shit. 5. The only accomplishment you've ever received is being K-Fed's bitch boy. And finally, the Internet loves me. So if you're complaining about why you got fired and I'm competing for the Internet title, it's because I'm better than you. I'll look forward to killing you soon, but I guess you're already dead, considering the fact that the only amount of salary you have being a rapper is 10 cents. Signed, The Mothafuckin' Ninja |
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Post by CD's Old Account on May 14, 2013 12:44:56 GMT -5
@black
I don't listen to hip hop.
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Post by Tim on May 14, 2013 12:55:10 GMT -5
@theninja
@black Hip hop really does sell-out very badly, doesn't it?
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Post by CD's Old Account on May 14, 2013 12:59:34 GMT -5
@black
@theninja Word. You're not as bad as people make you out to be, Ninja dude.
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Post by Logan on May 14, 2013 13:04:17 GMT -5
@logan
Could you boudles suck each other off later? The God of WCF still hasn't received a water. #Thristy #ObeyGod
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Post by Tim on May 14, 2013 13:10:58 GMT -5
@theninja
@black You're pretty cool yourself, bro. I look forward to our match for the Internet title.
@logan Since we're in Berlin, get your lazy ass of the hotel room couch and go find yourself a German pub. Plenty of drinks in there.
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Post by Tim on May 15, 2013 23:57:56 GMT -5
Blog Entry #8
I've finally won the Internet title! Anyway, my bad for the blue mist Corey Black. But what can I say? Every man's gotta do what they've gotta do to win any championship title. Besides, you could use some rest from the stress you're receiving from Pantheon duties. Every great competitor needs a break for the Trios Cup.
Now that I've won the Internet title, they have to give me my job back! Well, until I get my job back, I'm flying out of Germany along with the title. Most of all, the fun and games stop when you realize that the woman you're flirting with has a father with inhuman muscles like The Hulk. That's just gross.
Signed,
Two-time Internet Champion,
The Ninja
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Post by Tim on May 27, 2013 20:44:01 GMT -5
Blog Entry #9
Trios Cup Finals. Three opponnents. Three winners. Rebellion is gonna beat these guys up like yesterday's lunch.
Buzzsaw Bundy? The Lumberjack who's become a deranged fuck? So much for being a fun-loving sack of shit. Who knew that bastard children like him can become complete dildofaces? He seems easy to beat, having himself jobbed too many times in one month. I'll make sure his little punkass gets spitroasted by my kung-fu and my ninja skills.
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