Post by Thomas Maxwell Zale on Apr 22, 2013 22:36:00 GMT -5
*“Dirty Laundry” cues up over the arena’s sound system as Thomas Maxwell Zale swaggers out onto the stage of Sunday Night Slam from Vancouver. He is in his wrestling gear but over it wears a shirt advertising his website. Three cameramen in identical tees follow him down the ramp, pushing their cameras in the faces of fans and blinding them with the flashes. Zale, meanwhile, is talking into the microphone he holds, though what he is saying is inaudible until he has entered the ring and his music has stopped.*
TMZ: Locomotora Desbocado… is dead.
Crowd: *gasps*
TMZ: Figuratively. I mean, he’s still breathing; it’s only his career that’s taken the big dirt nap.
*The fans, realizing they’ve been duped by Zale, begin to boo and chant rude words. He smirks and waits for the noise to die down, and then continues.*
TMZ: Yes, the Runaway Train has stalled on the tracks. For those of you who are unaware of what happened, please take a look at the WCF Titantron.
*The huge screen shows a replay of the end of Locomotora’s match shown on the most recent WCF Wednesday Night. He pins his opponent, Bruiser Brony, only to be attacked from behind by Zale himself, who had been on commentary. The clip shows both TMZ and Bruiser putting the boots to the big luchador. The scene stops at the point where the two wrestlers are standing tall over their victim.*
TMZ: A journalist normally doesn’t want to be part of the story. It’s his role to remain objective. But in this case I felt my intervention was justified. Locomotora Desbocado was the worst type of wrestler: a cheap shot artist who always went for the easy win. He denied the fans the chance to see true competition. Even worse, he denied athletes like myself and Bruiser Brony the right to ply our trade. Locomotora Desbocado deserved everything he got, and I’m glad he’s dead. I mean done. Done.
*More booing. Zale gets a little miffed.*
TMZ: I see Vancouver would rather sympathize with a dirty cheater than a man of real integrity, who exposes the truth rather than hides it. Well, here’s one fellow who is on the same side as me! A man who’s opinion I respect!
*Dramatic pause, and then “Celestia Origins (Extended Battle Theme)” cues up. Bruiser Brony appears on the stage. He stares menacingly at the crowd for a moment, before breaking into a goofy grin. Pawing the ground, he tosses his head back and whinnies. Bruiser gallops down the ramp and rolls into the ring. Jumping to his feet, he begins cantering in a circle around his fellow wrestler. One time. Two times. Three times. Four times. Five times. Zale finally reaches out and grabs his arm to get him to stop.*
TMZ: Okay, okay, okay. Let’s rein it in. We’re out here for a reason, remember?
*Brony, winded, gives a tired nod. He takes the microphone Zale offers him.*
BB: We, Thomas Maxwell Zale and Bruiser Brony, have been dealt a great disservice. The opportunities we had to prove we belong on the WCF roster were taken from us by that creep Locomotora Desbocado. In the interest of fairness, we should be allowed to show how SUPER EFFECTIVE both of us can be!
*Zale nods solemnly and retrieves the mic. After giving Brony an encouraging pat on the shoulder, he talks as well.*
TMZ: Well put. After all that has happened to us, all the hardships we’ve faced, we are entitled an opportunity to earn a contract with this company. We deserve it. No, we demand it! And if those demands aren’t met; well, the Wrestling Championship Federation will give us no choice but to make things extremely difficult. What Locomotora suffered through is only a taste of the misery the combined powers of the Fourth Estate and the most virulent and zealous of fandoms can bring. Do not test us, WCF.
*Bruiser Brony holds out his fist at Zale.*
BB: Brohoof!
*Zale looks ill. He gives his newfound ally some weak dap. As they stand there, waiting, Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” rumbles through the Pacific Coliseum’s sound system. The crowd boos Seth Lerch when he comes out and stands on the stage.*
Seth: Cut the music, cut the music, we’re already behind schedule! And you rubes booing, shut up! I have an announcement.
*The fans keep giving Seth the business. He gives them an exasperated look before talking into his mic again.*
Seth: You won’t get quiet? Fine! I’ll talk over you! The only people who really need to hear this are the two dopes in the ring. Zale, Brony: you’ll get a contract. If you earn it. Next WCF Wednesday Night, you will compete in a match where the winner becomes part of the Wrestling Championship Federation’s roster.
*Zale and Brony look at one another. Neither one of them seems pleased with the proposal, but they nod anyway. The people watching are even more angry, jeering and hissing. Seth looks oblivious to all the discord.*
Seth: Happy? Good. Now, get the hell out of my, er, that ring so we can start the show.
*He turns to walk back to the gorilla position, but stops himself. Smirking, he addresses the wrestlers again.*
Seth: Oh, there’s one more thing. Your match for a WCF contract? It’s a triple threat. Yeah, and that third wrestler? He’s also here tonight. Guess who it is. Go on, guess.*
*Without any fanfare, Locomotora Desbocado comes storming from the back, a steel chair in hand. *
Seth: Whoops! Train came early.
*The giant luchador charges down the ramp towards Brony and Zale. The latter yells something at his cameramen, who move to intercept. The Runaway Train stops the first man with a big boot, and then drives the backrest of the chair into the gut of the second. When that goon bends over, he waffles him across the shoulders. The last of Zale’s minions throws a wild punch, which Locomotora ducks under. Popping back to his full height, LD cracks his assailant over the head with the chair. Then he continues running to the ring. Both Zale and Brony wisely slide out the other side, jump the barricade, and turn back to watch their masked foe enter the ring and stare them down.*
Seth: That's it, folks: log on to WCF.com Wednesday, May 1, to see Thomas Maxwell Zale, Bruiser Brony, and Locomotora Desbocado fight for the right to join the Wrestling Championship Federation!
*The crowd gives a good sized pop for Locomotora as he holds up the chair while gesturing with his free hand for Brony and Zale to join him in the ring. Neither men obliges, and the scene cuts.*
