Girlfriend Search 2007 Pt. 3 (Jack/Jay RP Series)

[recklessjack]

We open back up into the hotel looking ballroom. The usual three are seated again but now they have some dinner with them. It's night time yanno, need to eat. Anyways, Reckless Jack eats a burger while Jay's food is stole by Amy. He has a discouraged look on his face as he looks at Jack's burger.

Jay Williams: Hey, can I get a bite of that?

Reckless Jack stops eating for a moment and looks like he is gonna give Jay a bite... but he pulls the sandwich away at the last second.

Jay Williams: What was that for?!

Reckless Jack: Shouldn't have ate so fast Jay.

Jay Williams: But Amy stole my dinner and I have had nothing to eat all day...

Reckless Jack: Yeah, you'll get used to it with a pregnant woman, trust me Jay, you get used to having one slice of pizza, a peanut butter sandwich, chip crumbs, etc. I mean, I could give you some of this burger because its too much to eat but then what's the point of me paying for it?

Jay Williams: ...You didn't pay for it... I did...

Reckless Jack: Still I can't go around giving my food away because then everyone would want some of it. And that would just turn out to be one huge ass mess. Sorry Jay.

Jay sighs as we hear his stomach growl. He tries to grab something from Amy's plate but his hand gets swatted away like a fly.

Amy Skye Williams: NO FOOD FOR YOU!

Jay Williams: Goddammit, could we at least get along with this interview process so I can run to Burger King?

Reckless Jack licks his fingers clean and wipes at his face with a napkin.

Reckless Jack: I suppose we should. On with the show.

Jay Williams: Good, thank you. Amy, you ready?

Amy nods her head as she takes another bite of what was Jay's steak.

Jay Williams: Alright, next up we have, Maria. She likes guys that are handsome and enjoys eating tacos. Her turn ons include watching porn, going to strip clubs, and volleyball. Her turn offs are guys with bad hair, no teeth and the name Seth Lerch.

Reckless Jack: Uh oh, that isn't good...

Jay Williams: What?

Reckless Jack: Is my hair bad?

Jay shakes his head no as Maria walks into the room.

Reckless Jack nods his head when seeing Maria. Jay looks over at Amy to see his steak gone before he turns his attention back to Maria.

Jay Williams: Now Maria, it says here you are from Mexico. Are you an illegal or legal?

All of a sudden, border patrol busts into the hotel room armed with guns and grenades. Jack and Jay watch in amazement while Amy reads a magazine about having kids. One of the agents goes up to Reckless Jack.

Agent: Do you know this woman?

Reckless Jack: Only just met her sir.

The agent looks at Jay.

Agent: Is he lying to me young man?

Jay Williams: No sir, this is just some interviews to get my friend here a new girlfriend after he found out his wife was screwing everything else in sight, one person in which was his former best friend, make numerous amounts of sex tapes, aborted his kid and divorced him on Christmas Eve.

The agent stops and thinks for a moment.

Agent: Was her name Lucy Comeonmyface?

Reckless Jack: Did she look whorish? Kinda like the red head over there, only more stacked, better face, bigger ass and overall better looking?

The agent looks at Amy and realizes that they are talking about the same Lucy.

Agent: Yeah, that would be her. Thanks guys and by the way, Maria over here is really the daughter of...

Someone yells at the agent.

Agent: What's that Bill? Maria is trying to do that again?! Listen guys, gotta go. Good luck in your search sir.

Jack and Jay nod as the border patrol leaves the ballroom.

Jay Williams: That was pretty damn interesting.

Reckless Jack: I'd say so. So, who do we have next?

Jay looks over his sheet.

Jay Williams: Just says her name is Michelle and she is from New York.

And almost on cue, in she comes.

Reckless Jack's jaw hits the floor as Jay stands up and gives her a standing ovation... until Amy pulls him down back into his chair. Jay leans over to Jack.

Jay Williams: This could be the one eh?

Reckless Jack: No it can't...

Jay Williams: Why not?

Reckless Jack: She is my cousin from my foster family.

Jay Williams: What does that matter? You aren't blood.

Reckless Jack: Oh yeah, I forgot. Bonerific! But still...

Jay Williams: Sigh... let's just keep going.

The two look over at Michelle is who playing with her hair and chewing her gum.

Jay Williams: Michelle, how are you doing tonight?

Michelle: I'm doing okay, just bored. Glad to find out that Jack wasn't my cousin. I've always wanted to jump his bones as a girl.

Jay looks over at Jack.

Jay Williams: Dude?

Reckless Jack: Yeah, she did. I had to spend the night over there once when I was fifteen and she was fourteen. I might have been a horny teenager who wanted to get laid and looking back on it, I could have but I thought she was blood. I woke up once that night to find her down there. I yelled as she giggled.

Michelle: Then I watched you shower... mmm.

Jay Williams: Wow, she is hot for you dude.

Reckless Jack: Yeah but something just doesn't seem right here. Sure she isn't blood or family, it'd just feel weird going out with her and nailing her on a nightly basis. So I'm sorry Michelle...

Jay Williams: Michelle, you can get the FUDGE out!

"Spanish Flea" is heard again while Michelle leaves the ballroom, nearly in tears because her former cousin wouldn't have sex with her.

Reckless Jack: I think we've seen enough of this stuff today.

Jay Williams: Agreed. What about Sunday though?

Reckless Jack: It's gonna be crazy when we face Team Xtreme for those Tag Team Title belts. While we were on break, I happened to catch their promo.

Jay Williams: So did I.

Reckless Jack: Crock of shit that was.

Jay Williams: I know, I was kinda surprised to hear The Xtreme One say some of those things he did.

Reckless Jack: Reckless Bitch and Jay Fag? Is this moron still up in fuckin high school or some shit? "DUR, I CAN CALL PEOPLE A FAG, IT'S SO XTREME OF ME. DUR DUR DUR DUR." Come on, you gotta be more articulate then that Xtreme One. I've heard a five year old talk better shit then that. But uh, refresh my memory?

Jay Williams: Hmmm?

Reckless Jack: When did we think that they were handed those Tag Team Titles?

Jay Williams: I don't recall saying that or thinking that.

Reckless Jack: Exactly, they got no idea what they are talking about Jay. Team Xtreme are living in their own little dream world where chairs are used for hitting people instead of sitting and tables are something you put people through instead of placing objects or people have sex on them.

Jay Williams: Indeed.

Reckless Jack: However, they seem to ask a question. They want to know who else would jump off a 50 foot tron screen to win a match. You know anyone?

Jay Williams: Hmmm, that Creeping Death guy comes to mind.

Reckless Jack: Indeed he does Jay. I've actually seen tape of him doing crazy stuff like that to win a match. So if Team Xtreme want to think they are cool because they can nearly kill themselves, more power to em. I just have no idea why they are taking things so personally right now. Did you see what else was said to us?

Jay Williams: I did but what part are you meaning?

Reckless Jack: When he called us morons for winning a match and stuff.

Jay Williams: Oh that, yeah, it was pretty damn lame. Kinda like the Simpsons now a days. But their lame is something you can actually watch. This Team Xtreme is just uber lame.

Reckless Jack: Great assessment. But I got lost towards then end when he called us new bees, whatever that shit means.

Jay Williams: I got no idea.

Reckless Jack: Then he went on record saying we aren't an experienced enough team to win on Sunday. What a load of crap. You want proof Xtreme One? Logan and Jack of Blades won the titles teaming together for the first time I believe. Skyler Striker and Thunder won them from a pretty damn good team known as Disorder by Design. You see TXO, it doesn't matter how long you have been tagging together as long as you have good communication skills. Did you not see what we did to Bishop and Priest last Slam? I don't think you did. We communicated out there. We knew what we wanted to do before we even did it. Anything else is just a load.

Jay Williams: It's a load of shit which as all you seem to be serving.

Reckless Jack: So at Timebomb, we are coming for those titles and then Skyler Striker, we comin for you...

Jay Williams: HONKEY!

Amy perks up from her magazine.

Amy Skye Williams: Did you just rip off Harlem Heat.

Jack and Jay nod their heads.

Amy Skye Williams: Idiots, both of you, you realize that is gonna have to be edited out right?

Jay Williams: Yeah...

Reckless Jack: Shut up and quiting ruining my fun bitch!

All three start to argue as we fade out again... TBC bitches!