Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2012 14:49:03 GMT -5
The lights turn on and the show with the marquee behind it that titles it as “Price’s Picks” is ready to go on. Eric Price is shown wearing a black suit with a dark green shirt and tie and a huge grin on his face. A large 65” TV Screen is shown below the marquee.
This is the second edition of Price’s Picks!
Price’s Picks – Recapping week of 10/15 – 10/21
Eric Price: Welcome to the second edition of Price’s Picks ladies and gentlemen of the WCF Universe. Fans and aficionados alike, we will always strive to provide the best recaps of WCF programming including Slam, pay-per-view, house shows, and any other events going on around the company on a weekly basis. Last week was monumental but this week was even bigger. Many major announcements made for Helloween as it is definitely a stacked card but first, let’s start by recapping Slam.
Now, before I get to that, last week at the end of the show, I fired my co-host Synn, as he deserved to be. It seems the powers that be still demanded I have a co-host on a weekly basis so I bargained with them and we will have rotating co-hosts week to week. Every so often, I will get to pick my co-host to bring you the greatest analysis possible of WCF news; this week is not one such week as this week, my co-host was picked for me and … well … I guess I can’t put it off any longer.
(Co-host): What’s up homie?
*Eric Price rolls his eyes*
Eric Price: Oh God, please welcome … ugh … Steven Orbit.
Steve Orbit: “The Mack” is in the house tonight, what’s up Price?
*Orbit puts his hand out for Eric to slap it. Eric just looks at him and ignores the gesture.*
Eric Price: I can tell this is going to go downhill.
Steve Orbit: What you talkin’ bout? I’ma bring ratings to this snoozefest!
*Orbit sits in the chair next to Price’s chair*
Eric Price: Snoozefest? Just because I have class and sophistication does not mean I bore people! It’s not my fault that I’m smarter than all of the WCF audience combined.
*Orbit pretends to start drifting off to sleep*
Eric Price: Hey! HEY! You show me some respect damn it! Don’t forget, I’m the special guest referee in your match this Sunday.
Steve Orbit: Is that supposed to be some kind of veiled threat?
Eric Price: Not at all, but at least it got your attention, as it should have. Now, let’s discuss what happened at Slam last week.
Steve Orbit: Yeah, wasn’t it great? The return of Sarah Twilight!
Eric Price: Great?! It was absolutely appalling and disgusting the disrespect I saw toward our boss Mr. Seth Lerch. He did not deserve such heinous and wanton antagonism of his person.
Steve Orbit: You’ve got that chapstick in full force don’t you. Can you hear me all the way up there from Seth’s ass?
Eric Price: What are you implying?
Steve Orbit: It don’t take a pimp to know when you both suck and blow at the same time.
Eric Price: You think you’re cute don’t you? You can pander to the fans all you want but it doesn’t change the fact that I am a morally upstanding citizen unlike you people.
Steve Orbit: What you mean "you people"?
Eric Price: You know exactly what I mean. It’s what people like myself fight against ever so vehemently. You people do nothing but come into our towns and ruin everything with your behavior and so called culture; you call it livening up the scene, I call it repulsive.
Steve Orbit: Are you trying to say that you hate …
Eric Price: That’s exactly right. I hate sleaze ball pimps like you who exploit young women who don’t know any better.
Steve Orbit: Pimps? I thought …
Eric Price: What?
Steve Orbit: Just from the way you said it, I thought you meant you hated black …
Eric Price: The Black Market? Absolutely. And that’s what it is, a black market of illicit drugs, gambling, and unregulated sex. That’s why I hate you people, damn pimps.
Steve Orbit: You really are screwed up, you know that?
Eric Price: Nevertheless, in another shocking announcement, Mr. Lerch announced a 10% paycut across all WCF personnel, which I think is fantastic!
Steve Orbit: Don’t you love money?!
Eric Price: Yeah.
Steve Orbit: Then how can you think it’s great?
Eric Price: Very simple. I was the one who came up with the pay cut so my pay is still the same; my economic vision is coming to fruition and Mr. Lerch is finally going to live it up.
Steve Orbit: It was Seth being a selfish prick, as he’s always been.
Eric Price: I for one support my boss and think he’s a great man.
Steve Orbit: I’m sure you do. Anyway, he also announced the WCF Classic and surprisingly, a pay-per-view in November that will culminate there appropriately titled “The End of the World”.
Eric Price: Yes, that was surprising so now we have a pay per view event in November; didn’t expect that. However, I am disappointed that all title contenderships and matches are put on hold until the end of the WCF Classic, which ends at the pay-per-view. However, the prize itself is great.
Steve Orbit: Prize? You mean riding in a helicopter with that square moron Seth Lerch?
Eric Price: With our visionary leader whom I respect and admire, Mr. Seth Lerch. Yes, the winner will get the golden opportunity to ride in his helicopter with him! That’s a great prize!
Steve Orbit: Another shocking announcement; all managers and valets are now on their own and no longer WCF employees, meaning they’ve been essentially fired. I know Joey don't care, he still spendin' money from the 70s.
Eric Price: What’s the problem with that? Just because you bring your skanky ho with you doesn’t mean she should automatically be entitled to a paycheck!
Steve Orbit: In another surprise, Benjamin Atreyu made a comeback and basically told his former manager Blake Updegraff IV to go to hell.
Eric Price: Rather disrespectful in my view but those are the breaks in business. You do what is best for business and if it is best to break from Mr. Updegraff, so be it.
Steve Orbit: Also, Dake Ken came back to join Pantheon rounding out the main event of Helloween!
Eric Price: Yeah, Dake Ken came back for Pantheon and Sarah Twilight came back for Genesis, woop tee freakin’ doo, no one cares. Thank you. Let’s get to the matches.
Steve Orbit: What do you have against Pantheon and Genesis?
Eric Price: Well, Pantheon is nothing but a bunch of douchebags getting together to rub each other’s balls. And Genesis, well…when you have Speede, Cash, and you in it mixed with FPV and Sarah Twilight, I know you’re nothing but a bunch of losers who will amount to nothing.
Steve Orbit: Yet you support those losers in the church?
Eric Price: Whoa, I would never call them that. They are the best this company has to offer although I question Synn being in the group but nevertheless, they are certainly good enough to take you and Pantheon both down, I will see to that.
Steve Orbit: You are one deluded fruit loop, you know that?
Eric Price: And you’re a perverse sicko, let’s get to the matches.
*The TV in the background starts displaying images and short clips of the first match on Slam*
Match I: Mr. Jack Happy vs. Jay Price
Eric Price: What the fuck was this?
Steve Orbit: What are you talkin’ about, great match. Jay Price is on a roll since War.
Eric Price: Great match?! He fought a guy who was eating a taco.
Steve Orbit: Jay Price having his identity crisis but he’s still winning.
Eric Price: He fought a guy who was eating a taco. Moving on.
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match II: The 8th Wonder vs. The Red River Coalition
Eric Price: This was a fantastic match. I loved every bit of this match! 8th Wonder picked up their first victory, YES YES YES!!!
Steve Orbit: You’re so excited about this match, never pegged you as a fan of the 8th Wonder.
Eric Price: Oh I’m not, I think they’re absolute morons. Frankly the match was a disaster but the fact that they beat the Red River Coalition made me smile.
Steve Orbit: What’s wrong with … well … for once, you may have a point.
Eric Price: Finally, something we agree on this evening. I absolutely despise Adam Young and any time he gets knocked down, I smile and donate some money to charity.
Steve Orbit: You ... donate to charity?
Eric Price: Well … maybe not that far but I consider it.
Steve Orbit: You … ugh … let’s move on.
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match III: Television Title Contendership – Synn vs. Hunter Valentyne
*Eric Price turns away from the TV and simply stares off at the ceiling*
Steve Orbit: Eric? We still have a show to do.
Eric Price: Yes I know.
Steve Orbit: What about this match?
Eric Price: What about it? I hate both these guys. You got Synn who flip flops worse than John Kerry and Mitt Romney and you got Hunter Valentyne who is a certifiable crybaby. I don’t care about either of these guys.
Steve Orbit: Well, Synn in hard fought victory was able to beat Hunter Valentyne to get a shot at the TV title after Helloween.
Eric Price: Synn won?! That no good bastard! After a shining example of greatness and brilliance in yours truly Mr. Eric Price held the title for 2 solid months, now worthless crap is getting shots that they don’t deserve. It makes me sick!
Steve Orbit: Everything’s always about you isn’t it?
Eric Price: For the last time, YES!
Steve Orbit: Anyway…
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match IV: United States Title Contendership: “Sarah Twilight” vs. Doc Henry vs. Kale Windsor
Eric Price: Are you serious? We’re giving Kale Windsor another contendership match for the US Title. Where’s my rightful shot for the title Orbit? You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were afraid to face me.
Steve Orbit: Take the booking up with Seth.
Eric Price: You know, you’re starting to sound just like those losers in Pantheon, particularly our paper World Champion Jeff Purse.
Steve Orbit: You got a problem with me?
Eric Price: Whoa, let’s, calm down now, this is a civilized show. I just wanted to point out that I deserve a shot at your title.
Steve Orbit: Nevertheless, Doc Henry has earned a title shot against me in a great victory although Kale Windsor, attacking Henry post-match, not cool.
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match V: Television Title Match – Henri Ducos vs. Waylon Cash (c)
Eric Price: I loved every bit of this match! This is what great matches are made of and what great moments in WCF look like.
Steve Orbit: I’m not surprised you’re thrilled about this.
Eric Price: Of course, Waylon Cash proving he is the loser I’ve always said he is. I held my TV Title for two months, he much like the man I beat barely managed to hold it for two weeks … two weeks, where have I heard that before, oh that’s right, that’s how long your World Championship reign lasted. I should call Waylon Cash the “Two Week” wonder because all your success seems to only last a fortnight.
Steve Orbit: Henri Ducos definitely pulling out what is an upset as he has been in WCF a very short time and has earned the TV Title, a title, which you claim you made prestigious.
Eric Price: I not only claim it, I know it to be a fact. I made it a huge prestige as I am greatness personified. Mr. Ducos, I would like to extend my congratulations in winning that TV Title, you have earned it … I appreciate the fact that you dethroned Waylon Cash.
Steve Orbit: Nevertheless, if he did that so quickly. There’s no telling how far he could here in WCF.
Eric Price: I agree on that.
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match VI: Nathan von Liebert/Famine of the Vile vs. Joel Hall/Steeltoe Joe
Steve Orbit: Guess it’s time for some more of the Church.
Eric Price: Yes, my picks to win the Helloween match, in this case two members of the Church of Dark Saints versus Jobberville.
Steve Orbit: That’s a bit harsh don’t you think, especially considering the Church doesn’t exactly have real winners, just a bunch of whiners.
Eric Price: You show some respect damn it! You just can’t stand that they won this match with a decisive victory.
Steve Orbit: Decisive? Man, you really are delusional. They barely won the match, it was anything but decisive.
Eric Price: I don’t know what you saw but to me, it was clear that they were the obvious victors. Besides, in the newspapers, all it will say is “CoDS – Winners … Hall/Joe – Losers!” Thank you.
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match VII: Eric Price/Odin Balfore vs. Steve Orbit/Roy Speede
Eric Price: And now, what I consider a hell of match, a match that definitely deserved some accolades. This is the match where I beat your ass!
*Orbit looks at Price with a bit of anger in his eyes but snidely comments*
Steve Orbit: If I recall correctly, wasn’t it your partner Balfore who got the win?
Eric Price: I still won and what makes it even better, it was you that got pinned! YES, oh YES! I loved that moment. In fact, let’s play that footage.
*Eric shows the footage of Balfore pinning Orbit and the referee counting 1 .. 2 .. 3!*
Steve Orbit: Yes, I lost, I get it. Helloween will be a whole different story.
Eric Price: How do figure that? You have to remember, I hold your fate in my hands. The chances of either Genesis or Pantheon winning, I think Ross Perot had a better chance back in 92.
Steve Orbit: Ross Perot, timely reference. Then again, for a conservative hypocrite like you, it’s not surprising.
Eric Price: You call me a hypocrite? I’m simply going to call the match fairly, I don’t understand your hostility.
Steve Orbit: I know you’re lying because your lips are moving.
*Eric Price frowns at that statement*
Eric Price: I am a man of integrity, of honesty, of great virtue, a man that deserves all the respect…
*Steve Orbit cuts off Eric Price*
Steve Orbit: Let’s move on to the main event.
Eric Price: Hey, I was talking!
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match VIII: The Polar Phantasm vs. Oblivion vs. FPV
Steve Orbit: And now I’m talking. In the main event, we had the three leaders of the three respective factions that will be walking into the Helloween Main Event!
Eric Price: Ahem! No, we almost had the leaders. As much as it pains me, I’ll give credit where credit is due, Frank Patrick Venable did step into the ring like a man to face the competition. And of course…
*Eric pulls out a hat from behind his chair and puts on a pin that says “Oblivion 2012”*
Eric Price: My preferred candidate, Oblivion, by the way, Oblivion 2012, Oblivion 2012, Oblivion 2012! Yes, Oblivion, the great leader of the Church of Dark Saints and a man who should be President of the United States of America competed in this match as well!
Steve Orbit: That’s what I said, the leaders of the respective groups…
Eric Price: Ahem! I was not done. Yes, the leader of Genesis and the great, magnanimous, respectable, virtuous leader of the Church of Dark Saints also competed but there was one leader who was noticeably absent from this match.
Steve Orbit: Oh here we go.
Eric Price: Yes, you know who I’m talking about, our World Champion Jeff Purse. What is wrong with this picture? You know, ever since he became champion, I hardly ever see him compete anymore, all he does is talk about how he won War. Hooray, you won War, we get it. What now? You proved you were the best on that one night but ever since then, you seem to be running from any and all challengers. I’m just going to say this on the matter, you can keep running as long as you like but the fact of the matter is you’re only going to be able to escape the critics and the truth for so long. Eventually, you’re going to have to man up, take the balls out of your purse, pun fully intended, and face up to a challenger. Believe me, if it’s anything like your TV Title reign, the first defense you have will be your last. Then again, I suppose you’ll be following in the steps of Waylon Cash, Frank Patrick Venable, and Jay Price but unlike them, they actually went down fighting, they actually tried to be men. You on the other hand, you’re probably the weakest World Champion we’ve had all year.
Steve Orbit: You done? Honestly, I’m sick of hearing your rants. All you do is bitch and bitch and bitch and you don’t do jack shit about it. You sit here from your chair with your delusional rants when you’re supposed to be running a show recapping matches.
Eric Price: Look, I get…
Steve Orbit: No, shut your mouth! You’re going to listen to me!
*Price’s eyes widen as he starts listening to Orbit*
Steve Orbit: I’ve tolerated your crap here tonight but I am so pumped that you gonna be in that cell locked up with all of us. You obviously favor the Church of Dark Saints even though you ain't come out and said it; but you have to remember this, there’s 10 of us and only 5 of them. I say 10 because yes, Genesis is going against Pantheon but we do have two things in common, we both hate the Church of Dark Saints and we both hate Eric Price! And remember this little tid bit as well, the Church isn’t exactly fond of anyone so you can kiss up to them all you like but don’t think for one second they won’t hesitate to beat your ass!
*Price takes a dry gulp thinking about what Orbit said*
Eric Price: You know what, I … I would respond that but I can’t because I have to do my top 5 segment of the week. Because if I didn’t have to do that, I would tell you what I think but I am a gentleman and I have class and integrity and I will keep my thoughts to myself on that matter.
*Eric Price gets up from his chair and walks over to the left side of the stage where there is another monitor, with a logo for Price’s Top 5*
Eric Price: Well folks, after a bit of a heated exchange, it is time again for Price’s Top 5 of the week. Highlighting the best and brightest WCF has to offer. Speaking of which, I’d like to address one point. Last week, I picked “The Scoutmaster” Stuart Slane as #5 and I would like to take this moment to rescind that pick. Last week, we officially now only have 4 picks and Mr. Slane, I hope whomever you face at Helloween kicks your teeth down your throat you disrespectful prick. Now then, to my top 5 of this week.
Again, I will never put myself in the rankings because every week I’d obviously be #1 anyway but let’s see the picks!
Eric Price’s Top 5 of the Week (10/15 – 10/21)
1. Henri Ducos
Why Henri Ducos many may ask? It’s very simple, he pulled the upset of a lifetime and of the year. The man has only been here two weeks and in his second match, he won the Television Title, sure he won it from a piece of trash loser but the fact is he still picked up the victory. I look forward to seeing this man continue to succeed. Congratulations once again to our new Television Champion, Mr. Henri Ducos!
2. Odin Balfore
Talk about getting back to the top. This man since War has been dominating or should I say, these two men, I don’t know. Fact of the matter is he picked up quite a bit of momentum going into Helloween with his victory this week.
3. Famine of the Vile
Another member of the Church of Dark Saints team at Helloween. Victory picked up and momentum going into the match at Helloween.
4. Synn
Number one contender to the Television Title. After having turned on his partner Doc Henry and costing himself the tag team titles, Synn looks to establish himself with some single’s gold. We’ll see after Helloween if he’s able to do it but odds are, Mr. Ducos will be a tough opponent.
5. Doc Henry
Former almost everything champion, he was recently ditched by Synn and lost the tag team titles because of it. Nevertheless, he has netted himself a shot at the US Title and that puts him back on the map in my view.
Now some of you may ask, why I don’t put Sarah Twilight or Dake Ken in here. It’s very simple, just because you show up unannounced and randomly to cause havoc and disrespect my boss, Mr. Seth Lerch does not mean you earn a spot in my top 5. Speaking of which, I’d like to give an honorable spot in my top mentions this week to:
Special: Seth Lerch
Why Mr. Seth Lerch? He is my boss and I respect him. The man is a visionary, a great leader, and a good businessman. This week, he stepped up and took control of WCF as he should have. Cutting salaries, demanding respect, buying himself more mansions, a helicopter, this is a man that should be revered and beloved by all the WCF fans but instead, you scold him for simply living within his means. Therefore, I would like to award him a spot in my top stars of the week because when you’re the boss, you’re always the best.
*Eric Price walks back to his seat*
Steve Orbit: You’re really laying it on thick there aren’t you? You’d like more chap stick perhaps?
Eric Price: Don’t be jealous that the boss hates you and respects me. Well, that about wraps it up for this edition of Price’s Picks. Definitely some controversy stirred this week as well as some heated debate and discussion but overall a productive endeavor I believe.
Steve Orbit: Keep believing that.
Eric Price: Well then, it’s been a pleasure having you on my show.
*Eric Price says this with a huge grin on his face*
Steve Orbit: I’d say the same but I’m not a bald faced liar.
Eric Price: Well, you were only this week. Stay tuned because next week, as my guest host, we have…
*Eric Price pulls out a card from his jacket pocket*
Eric Price: Steeltoe Joe? Great, another guest I didn’t pick. Tune in to Helloween this Sunday on PPV as it’s going to be a hell of a event. We’ll see you next week to review Helloween. Good night everyone!
Steve Orbit: Peace out homies!
*The show fades to black*
This is the second edition of Price’s Picks!
Price’s Picks – Recapping week of 10/15 – 10/21
Eric Price: Welcome to the second edition of Price’s Picks ladies and gentlemen of the WCF Universe. Fans and aficionados alike, we will always strive to provide the best recaps of WCF programming including Slam, pay-per-view, house shows, and any other events going on around the company on a weekly basis. Last week was monumental but this week was even bigger. Many major announcements made for Helloween as it is definitely a stacked card but first, let’s start by recapping Slam.
Now, before I get to that, last week at the end of the show, I fired my co-host Synn, as he deserved to be. It seems the powers that be still demanded I have a co-host on a weekly basis so I bargained with them and we will have rotating co-hosts week to week. Every so often, I will get to pick my co-host to bring you the greatest analysis possible of WCF news; this week is not one such week as this week, my co-host was picked for me and … well … I guess I can’t put it off any longer.
(Co-host): What’s up homie?
*Eric Price rolls his eyes*
Eric Price: Oh God, please welcome … ugh … Steven Orbit.
Steve Orbit: “The Mack” is in the house tonight, what’s up Price?
*Orbit puts his hand out for Eric to slap it. Eric just looks at him and ignores the gesture.*
Eric Price: I can tell this is going to go downhill.
Steve Orbit: What you talkin’ bout? I’ma bring ratings to this snoozefest!
*Orbit sits in the chair next to Price’s chair*
Eric Price: Snoozefest? Just because I have class and sophistication does not mean I bore people! It’s not my fault that I’m smarter than all of the WCF audience combined.
*Orbit pretends to start drifting off to sleep*
Eric Price: Hey! HEY! You show me some respect damn it! Don’t forget, I’m the special guest referee in your match this Sunday.
Steve Orbit: Is that supposed to be some kind of veiled threat?
Eric Price: Not at all, but at least it got your attention, as it should have. Now, let’s discuss what happened at Slam last week.
Steve Orbit: Yeah, wasn’t it great? The return of Sarah Twilight!
Eric Price: Great?! It was absolutely appalling and disgusting the disrespect I saw toward our boss Mr. Seth Lerch. He did not deserve such heinous and wanton antagonism of his person.
Steve Orbit: You’ve got that chapstick in full force don’t you. Can you hear me all the way up there from Seth’s ass?
Eric Price: What are you implying?
Steve Orbit: It don’t take a pimp to know when you both suck and blow at the same time.
Eric Price: You think you’re cute don’t you? You can pander to the fans all you want but it doesn’t change the fact that I am a morally upstanding citizen unlike you people.
Steve Orbit: What you mean "you people"?
Eric Price: You know exactly what I mean. It’s what people like myself fight against ever so vehemently. You people do nothing but come into our towns and ruin everything with your behavior and so called culture; you call it livening up the scene, I call it repulsive.
Steve Orbit: Are you trying to say that you hate …
Eric Price: That’s exactly right. I hate sleaze ball pimps like you who exploit young women who don’t know any better.
Steve Orbit: Pimps? I thought …
Eric Price: What?
Steve Orbit: Just from the way you said it, I thought you meant you hated black …
Eric Price: The Black Market? Absolutely. And that’s what it is, a black market of illicit drugs, gambling, and unregulated sex. That’s why I hate you people, damn pimps.
Steve Orbit: You really are screwed up, you know that?
Eric Price: Nevertheless, in another shocking announcement, Mr. Lerch announced a 10% paycut across all WCF personnel, which I think is fantastic!
Steve Orbit: Don’t you love money?!
Eric Price: Yeah.
Steve Orbit: Then how can you think it’s great?
Eric Price: Very simple. I was the one who came up with the pay cut so my pay is still the same; my economic vision is coming to fruition and Mr. Lerch is finally going to live it up.
Steve Orbit: It was Seth being a selfish prick, as he’s always been.
Eric Price: I for one support my boss and think he’s a great man.
Steve Orbit: I’m sure you do. Anyway, he also announced the WCF Classic and surprisingly, a pay-per-view in November that will culminate there appropriately titled “The End of the World”.
Eric Price: Yes, that was surprising so now we have a pay per view event in November; didn’t expect that. However, I am disappointed that all title contenderships and matches are put on hold until the end of the WCF Classic, which ends at the pay-per-view. However, the prize itself is great.
Steve Orbit: Prize? You mean riding in a helicopter with that square moron Seth Lerch?
Eric Price: With our visionary leader whom I respect and admire, Mr. Seth Lerch. Yes, the winner will get the golden opportunity to ride in his helicopter with him! That’s a great prize!
Steve Orbit: Another shocking announcement; all managers and valets are now on their own and no longer WCF employees, meaning they’ve been essentially fired. I know Joey don't care, he still spendin' money from the 70s.
Eric Price: What’s the problem with that? Just because you bring your skanky ho with you doesn’t mean she should automatically be entitled to a paycheck!
Steve Orbit: In another surprise, Benjamin Atreyu made a comeback and basically told his former manager Blake Updegraff IV to go to hell.
Eric Price: Rather disrespectful in my view but those are the breaks in business. You do what is best for business and if it is best to break from Mr. Updegraff, so be it.
Steve Orbit: Also, Dake Ken came back to join Pantheon rounding out the main event of Helloween!
Eric Price: Yeah, Dake Ken came back for Pantheon and Sarah Twilight came back for Genesis, woop tee freakin’ doo, no one cares. Thank you. Let’s get to the matches.
Steve Orbit: What do you have against Pantheon and Genesis?
Eric Price: Well, Pantheon is nothing but a bunch of douchebags getting together to rub each other’s balls. And Genesis, well…when you have Speede, Cash, and you in it mixed with FPV and Sarah Twilight, I know you’re nothing but a bunch of losers who will amount to nothing.
Steve Orbit: Yet you support those losers in the church?
Eric Price: Whoa, I would never call them that. They are the best this company has to offer although I question Synn being in the group but nevertheless, they are certainly good enough to take you and Pantheon both down, I will see to that.
Steve Orbit: You are one deluded fruit loop, you know that?
Eric Price: And you’re a perverse sicko, let’s get to the matches.
*The TV in the background starts displaying images and short clips of the first match on Slam*
Match I: Mr. Jack Happy vs. Jay Price
Eric Price: What the fuck was this?
Steve Orbit: What are you talkin’ about, great match. Jay Price is on a roll since War.
Eric Price: Great match?! He fought a guy who was eating a taco.
Steve Orbit: Jay Price having his identity crisis but he’s still winning.
Eric Price: He fought a guy who was eating a taco. Moving on.
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match II: The 8th Wonder vs. The Red River Coalition
Eric Price: This was a fantastic match. I loved every bit of this match! 8th Wonder picked up their first victory, YES YES YES!!!
Steve Orbit: You’re so excited about this match, never pegged you as a fan of the 8th Wonder.
Eric Price: Oh I’m not, I think they’re absolute morons. Frankly the match was a disaster but the fact that they beat the Red River Coalition made me smile.
Steve Orbit: What’s wrong with … well … for once, you may have a point.
Eric Price: Finally, something we agree on this evening. I absolutely despise Adam Young and any time he gets knocked down, I smile and donate some money to charity.
Steve Orbit: You ... donate to charity?
Eric Price: Well … maybe not that far but I consider it.
Steve Orbit: You … ugh … let’s move on.
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match III: Television Title Contendership – Synn vs. Hunter Valentyne
*Eric Price turns away from the TV and simply stares off at the ceiling*
Steve Orbit: Eric? We still have a show to do.
Eric Price: Yes I know.
Steve Orbit: What about this match?
Eric Price: What about it? I hate both these guys. You got Synn who flip flops worse than John Kerry and Mitt Romney and you got Hunter Valentyne who is a certifiable crybaby. I don’t care about either of these guys.
Steve Orbit: Well, Synn in hard fought victory was able to beat Hunter Valentyne to get a shot at the TV title after Helloween.
Eric Price: Synn won?! That no good bastard! After a shining example of greatness and brilliance in yours truly Mr. Eric Price held the title for 2 solid months, now worthless crap is getting shots that they don’t deserve. It makes me sick!
Steve Orbit: Everything’s always about you isn’t it?
Eric Price: For the last time, YES!
Steve Orbit: Anyway…
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match IV: United States Title Contendership: “Sarah Twilight” vs. Doc Henry vs. Kale Windsor
Eric Price: Are you serious? We’re giving Kale Windsor another contendership match for the US Title. Where’s my rightful shot for the title Orbit? You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were afraid to face me.
Steve Orbit: Take the booking up with Seth.
Eric Price: You know, you’re starting to sound just like those losers in Pantheon, particularly our paper World Champion Jeff Purse.
Steve Orbit: You got a problem with me?
Eric Price: Whoa, let’s, calm down now, this is a civilized show. I just wanted to point out that I deserve a shot at your title.
Steve Orbit: Nevertheless, Doc Henry has earned a title shot against me in a great victory although Kale Windsor, attacking Henry post-match, not cool.
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match V: Television Title Match – Henri Ducos vs. Waylon Cash (c)
Eric Price: I loved every bit of this match! This is what great matches are made of and what great moments in WCF look like.
Steve Orbit: I’m not surprised you’re thrilled about this.
Eric Price: Of course, Waylon Cash proving he is the loser I’ve always said he is. I held my TV Title for two months, he much like the man I beat barely managed to hold it for two weeks … two weeks, where have I heard that before, oh that’s right, that’s how long your World Championship reign lasted. I should call Waylon Cash the “Two Week” wonder because all your success seems to only last a fortnight.
Steve Orbit: Henri Ducos definitely pulling out what is an upset as he has been in WCF a very short time and has earned the TV Title, a title, which you claim you made prestigious.
Eric Price: I not only claim it, I know it to be a fact. I made it a huge prestige as I am greatness personified. Mr. Ducos, I would like to extend my congratulations in winning that TV Title, you have earned it … I appreciate the fact that you dethroned Waylon Cash.
Steve Orbit: Nevertheless, if he did that so quickly. There’s no telling how far he could here in WCF.
Eric Price: I agree on that.
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match VI: Nathan von Liebert/Famine of the Vile vs. Joel Hall/Steeltoe Joe
Steve Orbit: Guess it’s time for some more of the Church.
Eric Price: Yes, my picks to win the Helloween match, in this case two members of the Church of Dark Saints versus Jobberville.
Steve Orbit: That’s a bit harsh don’t you think, especially considering the Church doesn’t exactly have real winners, just a bunch of whiners.
Eric Price: You show some respect damn it! You just can’t stand that they won this match with a decisive victory.
Steve Orbit: Decisive? Man, you really are delusional. They barely won the match, it was anything but decisive.
Eric Price: I don’t know what you saw but to me, it was clear that they were the obvious victors. Besides, in the newspapers, all it will say is “CoDS – Winners … Hall/Joe – Losers!” Thank you.
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match VII: Eric Price/Odin Balfore vs. Steve Orbit/Roy Speede
Eric Price: And now, what I consider a hell of match, a match that definitely deserved some accolades. This is the match where I beat your ass!
*Orbit looks at Price with a bit of anger in his eyes but snidely comments*
Steve Orbit: If I recall correctly, wasn’t it your partner Balfore who got the win?
Eric Price: I still won and what makes it even better, it was you that got pinned! YES, oh YES! I loved that moment. In fact, let’s play that footage.
*Eric shows the footage of Balfore pinning Orbit and the referee counting 1 .. 2 .. 3!*
Steve Orbit: Yes, I lost, I get it. Helloween will be a whole different story.
Eric Price: How do figure that? You have to remember, I hold your fate in my hands. The chances of either Genesis or Pantheon winning, I think Ross Perot had a better chance back in 92.
Steve Orbit: Ross Perot, timely reference. Then again, for a conservative hypocrite like you, it’s not surprising.
Eric Price: You call me a hypocrite? I’m simply going to call the match fairly, I don’t understand your hostility.
Steve Orbit: I know you’re lying because your lips are moving.
*Eric Price frowns at that statement*
Eric Price: I am a man of integrity, of honesty, of great virtue, a man that deserves all the respect…
*Steve Orbit cuts off Eric Price*
Steve Orbit: Let’s move on to the main event.
Eric Price: Hey, I was talking!
*The TV in the background switches to images and video clips from the next Slam matchup*
Match VIII: The Polar Phantasm vs. Oblivion vs. FPV
Steve Orbit: And now I’m talking. In the main event, we had the three leaders of the three respective factions that will be walking into the Helloween Main Event!
Eric Price: Ahem! No, we almost had the leaders. As much as it pains me, I’ll give credit where credit is due, Frank Patrick Venable did step into the ring like a man to face the competition. And of course…
*Eric pulls out a hat from behind his chair and puts on a pin that says “Oblivion 2012”*
Eric Price: My preferred candidate, Oblivion, by the way, Oblivion 2012, Oblivion 2012, Oblivion 2012! Yes, Oblivion, the great leader of the Church of Dark Saints and a man who should be President of the United States of America competed in this match as well!
Steve Orbit: That’s what I said, the leaders of the respective groups…
Eric Price: Ahem! I was not done. Yes, the leader of Genesis and the great, magnanimous, respectable, virtuous leader of the Church of Dark Saints also competed but there was one leader who was noticeably absent from this match.
Steve Orbit: Oh here we go.
Eric Price: Yes, you know who I’m talking about, our World Champion Jeff Purse. What is wrong with this picture? You know, ever since he became champion, I hardly ever see him compete anymore, all he does is talk about how he won War. Hooray, you won War, we get it. What now? You proved you were the best on that one night but ever since then, you seem to be running from any and all challengers. I’m just going to say this on the matter, you can keep running as long as you like but the fact of the matter is you’re only going to be able to escape the critics and the truth for so long. Eventually, you’re going to have to man up, take the balls out of your purse, pun fully intended, and face up to a challenger. Believe me, if it’s anything like your TV Title reign, the first defense you have will be your last. Then again, I suppose you’ll be following in the steps of Waylon Cash, Frank Patrick Venable, and Jay Price but unlike them, they actually went down fighting, they actually tried to be men. You on the other hand, you’re probably the weakest World Champion we’ve had all year.
Steve Orbit: You done? Honestly, I’m sick of hearing your rants. All you do is bitch and bitch and bitch and you don’t do jack shit about it. You sit here from your chair with your delusional rants when you’re supposed to be running a show recapping matches.
Eric Price: Look, I get…
Steve Orbit: No, shut your mouth! You’re going to listen to me!
*Price’s eyes widen as he starts listening to Orbit*
Steve Orbit: I’ve tolerated your crap here tonight but I am so pumped that you gonna be in that cell locked up with all of us. You obviously favor the Church of Dark Saints even though you ain't come out and said it; but you have to remember this, there’s 10 of us and only 5 of them. I say 10 because yes, Genesis is going against Pantheon but we do have two things in common, we both hate the Church of Dark Saints and we both hate Eric Price! And remember this little tid bit as well, the Church isn’t exactly fond of anyone so you can kiss up to them all you like but don’t think for one second they won’t hesitate to beat your ass!
*Price takes a dry gulp thinking about what Orbit said*
Eric Price: You know what, I … I would respond that but I can’t because I have to do my top 5 segment of the week. Because if I didn’t have to do that, I would tell you what I think but I am a gentleman and I have class and integrity and I will keep my thoughts to myself on that matter.
*Eric Price gets up from his chair and walks over to the left side of the stage where there is another monitor, with a logo for Price’s Top 5*
Eric Price: Well folks, after a bit of a heated exchange, it is time again for Price’s Top 5 of the week. Highlighting the best and brightest WCF has to offer. Speaking of which, I’d like to address one point. Last week, I picked “The Scoutmaster” Stuart Slane as #5 and I would like to take this moment to rescind that pick. Last week, we officially now only have 4 picks and Mr. Slane, I hope whomever you face at Helloween kicks your teeth down your throat you disrespectful prick. Now then, to my top 5 of this week.
Again, I will never put myself in the rankings because every week I’d obviously be #1 anyway but let’s see the picks!
Eric Price’s Top 5 of the Week (10/15 – 10/21)
1. Henri Ducos
Why Henri Ducos many may ask? It’s very simple, he pulled the upset of a lifetime and of the year. The man has only been here two weeks and in his second match, he won the Television Title, sure he won it from a piece of trash loser but the fact is he still picked up the victory. I look forward to seeing this man continue to succeed. Congratulations once again to our new Television Champion, Mr. Henri Ducos!
2. Odin Balfore
Talk about getting back to the top. This man since War has been dominating or should I say, these two men, I don’t know. Fact of the matter is he picked up quite a bit of momentum going into Helloween with his victory this week.
3. Famine of the Vile
Another member of the Church of Dark Saints team at Helloween. Victory picked up and momentum going into the match at Helloween.
4. Synn
Number one contender to the Television Title. After having turned on his partner Doc Henry and costing himself the tag team titles, Synn looks to establish himself with some single’s gold. We’ll see after Helloween if he’s able to do it but odds are, Mr. Ducos will be a tough opponent.
5. Doc Henry
Former almost everything champion, he was recently ditched by Synn and lost the tag team titles because of it. Nevertheless, he has netted himself a shot at the US Title and that puts him back on the map in my view.
Now some of you may ask, why I don’t put Sarah Twilight or Dake Ken in here. It’s very simple, just because you show up unannounced and randomly to cause havoc and disrespect my boss, Mr. Seth Lerch does not mean you earn a spot in my top 5. Speaking of which, I’d like to give an honorable spot in my top mentions this week to:
Special: Seth Lerch
Why Mr. Seth Lerch? He is my boss and I respect him. The man is a visionary, a great leader, and a good businessman. This week, he stepped up and took control of WCF as he should have. Cutting salaries, demanding respect, buying himself more mansions, a helicopter, this is a man that should be revered and beloved by all the WCF fans but instead, you scold him for simply living within his means. Therefore, I would like to award him a spot in my top stars of the week because when you’re the boss, you’re always the best.
*Eric Price walks back to his seat*
Steve Orbit: You’re really laying it on thick there aren’t you? You’d like more chap stick perhaps?
Eric Price: Don’t be jealous that the boss hates you and respects me. Well, that about wraps it up for this edition of Price’s Picks. Definitely some controversy stirred this week as well as some heated debate and discussion but overall a productive endeavor I believe.
Steve Orbit: Keep believing that.
Eric Price: Well then, it’s been a pleasure having you on my show.
*Eric Price says this with a huge grin on his face*
Steve Orbit: I’d say the same but I’m not a bald faced liar.
Eric Price: Well, you were only this week. Stay tuned because next week, as my guest host, we have…
*Eric Price pulls out a card from his jacket pocket*
Eric Price: Steeltoe Joe? Great, another guest I didn’t pick. Tune in to Helloween this Sunday on PPV as it’s going to be a hell of a event. We’ll see you next week to review Helloween. Good night everyone!
Steve Orbit: Peace out homies!
*The show fades to black*
