Post by Tim on Sept 27, 2012 18:29:55 GMT -5
War. The answer like I've told everyone before. They're all cowards with no boundaries, they only stay on the floor. If they're really men, then they should start acting like one. It's round 3 for me, no mercy. I'm using the way of the fist. I should know because Joel was in the game when he was El Mideo Extremo. He got his ass thrown out by Odin Balfore. How weak can that insect be? Now, I'm just drinking away in the fields, thinking what are the odds of me losing to any of the alliance members. Fuckin' none. The only way to win is to look into the darkest part of the abyss, and never blink. The skies, they're all so starry. I wonder which star is which...
The Polar Phantasm is one to hesitate. Ever since he "evolved" from cub to polar bear, he's become much more crueler and sadistic than ever. I like that. He's got potential to win this. But, seeing the odds in our last match, I'm afraid that he's become more stronger than me. However, I've become much more dangerous. Does a name change ever become the solution of intimidation? In a way, highly unlikely. He's gonna be freezing in the depths of hell when all this is over.
Corey Black, also known as Creeping Death. I heard about his old exploits as him. Mr.XIII. He will always be much better than the Corey Black we have today. Does he think that without who he really is, he's much better than anyone else? He's gone much more softer since becoming a part of Pantheon's ranks. If I were him, I would go solo again and successfully gain my World Champion chances ahead. An to top it all off, I think he's lost his edge.
Jeff Purse, another member of Pantheon. This OCD freak has a huge weakness that can turn his career upside down. And even if he has the support from his girl, does he even think he can come up against me? So much for a real challenge. I can't say that I'm disappointed, seeing that I would love to see him clean the blood off his face, if he's still alive. Don't think because he has a loved one, I would give mercy. I'm not that kind of guy. It's survival to the fittest.
The Time Traveler of the group. Mr. Johnny Reb. It's been a long time since I faced a guy like him. What was that? The Trios Cup? I remember. That match that he and his team beat me and those two screw-ups Tek and Eric Price. It won't be like last time, however. No Kira Sakazaki and no Chad Evans to protect him. It's just the polar bear, the shadow of himself and OCD freak here. There's just no time in the world for Reb to save himself from the asskicker hinself, me.
To be honest, this Pantheon bullshit is sickening me already since the Darkside of Treachery had fallen. Wonder who's gonna be our surprise entrant. Jonny Fly? After he loses his title to a guy that lost all his dreads to a masked dance punk? Or the guy who's suffered a split personality that releases the inner retardedness that died in that incident long ago. I'm pretty sure that all this will blow over when either both gets any of their asses kicked.
Up next, we have the pope of the Church of Dark Saints, Oblivion. This guy was the freak that helped me settle my score against Seth Lerch himself. Corruption had only begun. I blame myself for this. To atone for this sin, I must destroy Oblivion before the guilt takes over me. He must be stopped before I lose control. I can't believe he was Scandinavian when I heard that his real name was Stephen Johansson or along the lines like that. That mask will crush himself when I crush him first. If Oblivion dies out, then this will be the beginning of the End of Days. No one will preach for him then.
Then we have his partner Nathan Von Liebert. Who the hell is he? I want Vlad!!! This piece of trash isn't Vlad! This isn't the guy that won The One Tournament! That's not him. All I have to do is kill NvL to release Vlad, like FPV did with Super FPV. I don't want some asswipe in a lederhosen called Nathan Von Liebert wrestling me. He isn't the guy I'm looking for. He's not that powerful. But since this is all that is, I might as well, since I butcher old meat as well as new ones.
Then, we have motherfucker no.3. Famine of the Vile. Who the fuck is this piece of vermin? Oh, right. He's the guy that scared the shit out of Joel. Well, he has no idea what he's gonna come up against The Iowan Massacre. So we have Oblivion as Death, NvL as Pestilence and Famine as, well, Famine. But they seem to be missing one more. That's right: War. It seems that he's gone against The Four Horsemen, pulling all the strings and making the right moves. We'll see if this could go well soon.
We have the man known as Synn. Real name: Terry Roberts. With such a long name like Terry Jakob Martin Russell Roberts, it's no wonder why he shortened his name to just Synn. I mean, I've got a bone to pick with him ever since GEW's Shoot To Thrill. Too bad insurance is pretty dangerous for this body. And I hear that he's been switching to many allegiances. I'm guessing that's what he did in Shootcamp Wrestling. I've heard all about his exploits there. He sounds like the 3rd best wrestler there, just behind some other two losers I've never heard about. Here, we do things differently. I'm no Ricky Angel, but I can certainly kick Synn's ass to the ground.
On to Tek, the masked wonder. This guy seems to appear everywhere I go. Why is it such a coincidence that he might get in the way again? Oh right. He had failed a Prophecy once. He'll fail again when I put this insolent wretch in his place. There's just nothing like breaking that mask into pieces. And his dance moves? I'll break his legs as always. There's no stopping in that from happening.
And we have Tek's no.1 lapdog, Steeltoe Joe. For a guy with the nickname 'Steeltoe', he's more like the biggest wuss that gave into Tek's superiority. What the fuck was that? First they're enemies and now they're like master and slave! I need more vodka when this is over. Don't tell me his finishing move is a Toe Kick? Hah! I would love to see his toe melted into shit, like he always has been. He will never stand a chance against me, the biggest mass murderer in WCF. He and Tek won't know what's gonna happen.
Oh wait. We have his tag team fuck buddy, Hank 'The Golden Twinkie' Lane. When is this hairy, moldy pastry gonna ever gonna relieve the moment that ruined my showdown with Outcast? Right. I'll just have to beat the stuffing and cream out of him, just to show him who's boss. And if that don't happen, then this junk food is gonna reach its' expiry date. Fast. No promises or demonstrations. Just a full-scale showcase of me yanking all that hair from his gross golden and blinding body. Ugh, fuck! I sound gay! Shit!
Screw that. Anyway, hehe. This is good. I get to fight the uncouth Johnny Stylez once again. Just because he's won multiple men matches against me doesn't mean that he can win against an army of 32. This isn't some kind of game. Reality has welcomed him into this nightmare. Mr. Marge Simpson will be cleaning up his act once I tear that blue scalp off his ugly fathead. And those tattoos? They make him twice the pussy he'll always be. And I honestly don't give a fuck about being relevant. Irrelevancy is just who I am. It's what helps me on the go, and motivates me to squash maggots like him. I'm the Iowan Dream. Scratch that. The American Dream.
...
What the fuck did I just say? Ugh, god! I sound like that retard, Captain Punishment! What the fuck?!
Ugh. Then, we have his retarded brother-in-arms, Tommy Kain. Seriously, shut is gonna get real. The hangover master in the ring? That's comedy gold. And why does his face look like an ass? Right. Because he talks shit when he's drunk. Another thing, it may be an opener I beat him at on a big PPV, but it shows the amount of skill I have more than the other prey. If he brings in that glass bottle, then there will be blood on the dance floor. I assure everyone, that this year's War won't be safe. It will be the goriest and most violent match in my entire career. Kain had better watch his back. Because sticking around a guy like Stylez in this type of match won't go very well for him. A guy like him might stab their allies in the back just to get a World title shot. Why do people think I've been riding solo?
Then, that comes to Mr. Frank Patrick Venable. For a guy like him, he's nothing to the world. He's got a bright future, but if he doesn't win that match and ends up here, then the darkness should consume the light to where it sticks. It's not like everyday you see anyone kicking his ass like he used to. I mean, this was one of Lerch's slaves that's gonna be in this match! And I can't wait to kick his ass! It'll be all over WCF: "The Iowan Massacre, obliterates half the roster, including current and former minions of Seth Lerch.". Best highlight of my life.
Next, we have the 'Silver Lining' Roy Speede. The ring is a boudle-free zone. I'm surprised big boss had allowed him to wrestle in the ring. Well, I don't really care, as long as his ass is on check for some ass-kicking. Why does he even bother coming for the World title? He can't even get a single decent shot for it. I don't really care what's gonna happen to him. Even though the match ends, he'll still be a part of my shitlist, like all the others who are part of a stable. I don't give a damn what happens to me as long as I fulfill my goal. And no godforsaken boudle is gonna take it away from me!
Ooh boy! It's "Sarah Twilight"! Fuck you, Logan! Even though he still tries to act like a woman with some kind of shut personality disorder like the others, he's still the slave that was once owned by Seth Lerch. I assure everyone, that I'll regain the honor in the real Sarah Twilight's name by making this one a failure. Just like Chris Avery. Logan, he's gonna get his fucking head kicked in, like the rest of the former members of the DoT. There's a place called tranny hell, and Alexis Arquette is waiting there to get his wig back from him. I'll make sure he really doesn't have any balls once I tear him to shreds.
Now, is The Nordic Tank, Odin Balfore. I have to admit, that's the fight I wanted. But when he thought that I was bragging about my 'default' win against him, I lost respect for him. I was actually pissed at Odin for being a coward that time, backing out all because of some stupid excuse that he has to sit on his lazy fatass while resting his small and pathetic injury. While he was playing couch potato, I had to deal with the big boss myself. And now, Balfore had done dirty work for Lerch, by beating the stuffing out of Steve Orbit. I actually can't believe that I wasted all this time, preparing myself against some lapdog who lost his dignity over some small thing for some demented fuck that's pulling all the strings. Well, things are gonna turn around soon when I show my full potential.
Then we have the 2nd contender, Waylon Cash. The guy who now looks like shit now, compared to the old hairstyle he used to have. I wonder what his wife sees in him now. Well, the only way to redeem himself is to beat Jonny Fly for the World title. But I doubt that's gonna happen. If he does, then kudos to him. If not, I'll get him a welcome card to the hell that he's gonna receive at my match. The Hellbilly has met his own demise. He'll be meeting his own downfall.
Then we have Steve Orbit, the guy who crashes into orbits for a lifeless purpose. He may he be champion before or after, but he isn't prepared to take on an adventure that's as big as this. 1 on 32. That's a huge number. Can a guy like him be able to fit his body count into a television set as small as a gameboy? He's another victim that'll put his blood on my hands. It's such a pity to fall into the Maverick Elite's deception. Steve may be an orbit, but I'm the entire andromeda that will suck him dry. I'll be there to crush him like my mother's vase.
At least, that's what my brother did.
And well, well, well. What do we have here? The misogynistic Eric Price is in the match too! What a relief! I knew there's another face for me to uglify. I'm guessing that Jeff's girlfriend, Kari, didn't want to kiss him because of the ugliness that he has on his face. Rich, but not smooth. Money can't even buy hinself women, no matter how hard he tried. But there are no worries for him, when I put his head up his own ass. Let's see him kiss that. Hehe. I just made a joke about that one.
Who do we have here? 2 maggots in one package? Interesting. A Bishop and a Priest working together. There's no words that describe what this preacher is gonna do to them. Oh, right. I'm the preacher. And I've got something to say to them: They both can go to hell, when they suffer this losing streak they have now at this very moment. And aren't they slaves of Sethie? Man, this match couldn't get any better than the usual. So that's 4 of Seth's former minions that will get their asses kicked.
We have the girlfriend of Kira Sakazaki, the one and only woman in this match, Sado. Mariko Shinoda. Who knew a girl like that could have amazing powers like that against a psycho like Oblivion? I know I wouldn't, because I don't give two shits about it. Joining this huge battle royal all because of Oblivion? That's a nasty thing to do. There are others that want to have an opportunity like this and she just takes it away? How sad. But that's alright. She gets an opportunity to face me. Unfortunately, I don't go easy on women when it comes to wrestling. It's a rough-housing contest, but it's my job to jeep the fans entertained, by showing the world that Sado is not all that big.
Oh, boy. I forgot Lerch's final former minion. Doc Henry. Right stuff, this guy is. The Confederate Champion, my ass! I'll take that title of his an use it as a toilet seat. I mean, this guy thinks that he can just put all his cards in one gamble. To the world, Doc the Cock is just a trump card for everyone, allowing everyone else to overpower him ever since he lost his thunder. What happened to his style is none of my concern, as I will enjoy the pleasure in taking away the life he's betting on.
Afterwards, we have the controversial Adam Young, who constantly brings outsiders into WCF for no apparent reason. But here in War, he's all alone. With no one to hide behind, he's gonna have to face the music. And I'll make sure his ears go deaf when I play my music. I've heard a huge deal about him before. Had displayed a controversial picture once, when he showed war pictures all over. Let me be the man to say that I give my condolences to the 5 victims that had died of this gruesome death, before I send this villain back to the cave he once came from.
Next, we have 'The Rising Star' Kale Windsor. Funny that this nickname reflects on his career, where he burns out and falls to his own demise. It's probably because this piece of snob crap has the attitude of a 12-year old brat. He's a poser to wrestling. He doesn't know the meaning of hardcore if it hit him in the face. I'll be glad to show him the true meaning of wrestling and that it's not all about glamour and shut like that.
We have a loser called Chris Guy. What kind of a gay-ass monkey name is that? Sheldon Cooper is acceptable. But Chris Guy? Is WCF hiring more mentally challenged jobbers to this match? Haha! He sounds like easy kill to me. I don't care what size he is. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. The smaller they get, the easier to crush. And to top it all off, the more time this match will be wasted by bringing in no names.
Again, another jobber! Is this some kind of joke? We've got another piece of fresh meat called Jimmy. Just Jimmy. Is he like some kind of paperboy that WCF wants to bring in? Why is Seth so desperate to get rid of the news that he's willing to pit brats against savages with bloodlust? The kid needs to go home, sell more newspapers and learn how to take a huge shit in the golden toilet seat. Because he's someone that's easy prey for me to feast on.
Three mysterious competitors. That means three brutal predators. I wonder who are they? Gravedigger, Brad Kane, Chad Evans, Slickie T, Outcast, Jay Williams?! Skyler Striker, Hellz Angel, Donald Deruty, Stuart Slane, Steve Carr?! Maybe even Greenfever or fucking Switches the Clown?! Don't tell me Torture is coming back! Or maybe the big boss, Seth Lerch, is coming to fight me again! It doesn't matter! Any of those three have walked into The Iowan Massacre's trap, to become victims as well. Former world chanpion or not, hall-of-famer or not, I'll still handle the pwnage to their good for nothing carcasses!
Then, there's Jonny Fly. The World champion of the wonder. When is his bullshit gonna end?! If he's gonna be the world champion forever, then he's like Dorian Gray. Trapped by his own hubris, and forever dependent on that belt. If he loses that belt, then good for him. I finally get to wash away the mess he has stained with his shit. As they all say, "nothing lasts forever". When he loses that title, he'll be like everyone else: lambs to the slaughter. They would see what I would do, squash the fly and spray it with antiseptic. Then, hello World title match.
Last but not least, Jay Motherfuckin' Price. This is the guy that I used to give my respect to. But since he told me about it, I finally realized that he's my rival. Since neither of us won the Orange Clockwork House of Fun match, I finally realize there can only be one who will take the crown. That's me. And what happened to his principle of never working for Seth Lerch, ever since he and his goons had beaten the crap outta him? I'm not saying that it was his fault. But I thought that he was a man that follows his own rules. Well, at least there's a huge achievement for me to win, the true end of Jay Price.
I think I've said enough. Time to look up at the sky again. Oh, an aurora-borealis! It's so beautiful. It makes me...have...*yawn*...sweet dreams...Edith...
Zzzzzz.......
The Polar Phantasm is one to hesitate. Ever since he "evolved" from cub to polar bear, he's become much more crueler and sadistic than ever. I like that. He's got potential to win this. But, seeing the odds in our last match, I'm afraid that he's become more stronger than me. However, I've become much more dangerous. Does a name change ever become the solution of intimidation? In a way, highly unlikely. He's gonna be freezing in the depths of hell when all this is over.
Corey Black, also known as Creeping Death. I heard about his old exploits as him. Mr.XIII. He will always be much better than the Corey Black we have today. Does he think that without who he really is, he's much better than anyone else? He's gone much more softer since becoming a part of Pantheon's ranks. If I were him, I would go solo again and successfully gain my World Champion chances ahead. An to top it all off, I think he's lost his edge.
Jeff Purse, another member of Pantheon. This OCD freak has a huge weakness that can turn his career upside down. And even if he has the support from his girl, does he even think he can come up against me? So much for a real challenge. I can't say that I'm disappointed, seeing that I would love to see him clean the blood off his face, if he's still alive. Don't think because he has a loved one, I would give mercy. I'm not that kind of guy. It's survival to the fittest.
The Time Traveler of the group. Mr. Johnny Reb. It's been a long time since I faced a guy like him. What was that? The Trios Cup? I remember. That match that he and his team beat me and those two screw-ups Tek and Eric Price. It won't be like last time, however. No Kira Sakazaki and no Chad Evans to protect him. It's just the polar bear, the shadow of himself and OCD freak here. There's just no time in the world for Reb to save himself from the asskicker hinself, me.
To be honest, this Pantheon bullshit is sickening me already since the Darkside of Treachery had fallen. Wonder who's gonna be our surprise entrant. Jonny Fly? After he loses his title to a guy that lost all his dreads to a masked dance punk? Or the guy who's suffered a split personality that releases the inner retardedness that died in that incident long ago. I'm pretty sure that all this will blow over when either both gets any of their asses kicked.
Up next, we have the pope of the Church of Dark Saints, Oblivion. This guy was the freak that helped me settle my score against Seth Lerch himself. Corruption had only begun. I blame myself for this. To atone for this sin, I must destroy Oblivion before the guilt takes over me. He must be stopped before I lose control. I can't believe he was Scandinavian when I heard that his real name was Stephen Johansson or along the lines like that. That mask will crush himself when I crush him first. If Oblivion dies out, then this will be the beginning of the End of Days. No one will preach for him then.
Then we have his partner Nathan Von Liebert. Who the hell is he? I want Vlad!!! This piece of trash isn't Vlad! This isn't the guy that won The One Tournament! That's not him. All I have to do is kill NvL to release Vlad, like FPV did with Super FPV. I don't want some asswipe in a lederhosen called Nathan Von Liebert wrestling me. He isn't the guy I'm looking for. He's not that powerful. But since this is all that is, I might as well, since I butcher old meat as well as new ones.
Then, we have motherfucker no.3. Famine of the Vile. Who the fuck is this piece of vermin? Oh, right. He's the guy that scared the shit out of Joel. Well, he has no idea what he's gonna come up against The Iowan Massacre. So we have Oblivion as Death, NvL as Pestilence and Famine as, well, Famine. But they seem to be missing one more. That's right: War. It seems that he's gone against The Four Horsemen, pulling all the strings and making the right moves. We'll see if this could go well soon.
We have the man known as Synn. Real name: Terry Roberts. With such a long name like Terry Jakob Martin Russell Roberts, it's no wonder why he shortened his name to just Synn. I mean, I've got a bone to pick with him ever since GEW's Shoot To Thrill. Too bad insurance is pretty dangerous for this body. And I hear that he's been switching to many allegiances. I'm guessing that's what he did in Shootcamp Wrestling. I've heard all about his exploits there. He sounds like the 3rd best wrestler there, just behind some other two losers I've never heard about. Here, we do things differently. I'm no Ricky Angel, but I can certainly kick Synn's ass to the ground.
On to Tek, the masked wonder. This guy seems to appear everywhere I go. Why is it such a coincidence that he might get in the way again? Oh right. He had failed a Prophecy once. He'll fail again when I put this insolent wretch in his place. There's just nothing like breaking that mask into pieces. And his dance moves? I'll break his legs as always. There's no stopping in that from happening.
And we have Tek's no.1 lapdog, Steeltoe Joe. For a guy with the nickname 'Steeltoe', he's more like the biggest wuss that gave into Tek's superiority. What the fuck was that? First they're enemies and now they're like master and slave! I need more vodka when this is over. Don't tell me his finishing move is a Toe Kick? Hah! I would love to see his toe melted into shit, like he always has been. He will never stand a chance against me, the biggest mass murderer in WCF. He and Tek won't know what's gonna happen.
Oh wait. We have his tag team fuck buddy, Hank 'The Golden Twinkie' Lane. When is this hairy, moldy pastry gonna ever gonna relieve the moment that ruined my showdown with Outcast? Right. I'll just have to beat the stuffing and cream out of him, just to show him who's boss. And if that don't happen, then this junk food is gonna reach its' expiry date. Fast. No promises or demonstrations. Just a full-scale showcase of me yanking all that hair from his gross golden and blinding body. Ugh, fuck! I sound gay! Shit!
Screw that. Anyway, hehe. This is good. I get to fight the uncouth Johnny Stylez once again. Just because he's won multiple men matches against me doesn't mean that he can win against an army of 32. This isn't some kind of game. Reality has welcomed him into this nightmare. Mr. Marge Simpson will be cleaning up his act once I tear that blue scalp off his ugly fathead. And those tattoos? They make him twice the pussy he'll always be. And I honestly don't give a fuck about being relevant. Irrelevancy is just who I am. It's what helps me on the go, and motivates me to squash maggots like him. I'm the Iowan Dream. Scratch that. The American Dream.
...
What the fuck did I just say? Ugh, god! I sound like that retard, Captain Punishment! What the fuck?!
Ugh. Then, we have his retarded brother-in-arms, Tommy Kain. Seriously, shut is gonna get real. The hangover master in the ring? That's comedy gold. And why does his face look like an ass? Right. Because he talks shit when he's drunk. Another thing, it may be an opener I beat him at on a big PPV, but it shows the amount of skill I have more than the other prey. If he brings in that glass bottle, then there will be blood on the dance floor. I assure everyone, that this year's War won't be safe. It will be the goriest and most violent match in my entire career. Kain had better watch his back. Because sticking around a guy like Stylez in this type of match won't go very well for him. A guy like him might stab their allies in the back just to get a World title shot. Why do people think I've been riding solo?
Then, that comes to Mr. Frank Patrick Venable. For a guy like him, he's nothing to the world. He's got a bright future, but if he doesn't win that match and ends up here, then the darkness should consume the light to where it sticks. It's not like everyday you see anyone kicking his ass like he used to. I mean, this was one of Lerch's slaves that's gonna be in this match! And I can't wait to kick his ass! It'll be all over WCF: "The Iowan Massacre, obliterates half the roster, including current and former minions of Seth Lerch.". Best highlight of my life.
Next, we have the 'Silver Lining' Roy Speede. The ring is a boudle-free zone. I'm surprised big boss had allowed him to wrestle in the ring. Well, I don't really care, as long as his ass is on check for some ass-kicking. Why does he even bother coming for the World title? He can't even get a single decent shot for it. I don't really care what's gonna happen to him. Even though the match ends, he'll still be a part of my shitlist, like all the others who are part of a stable. I don't give a damn what happens to me as long as I fulfill my goal. And no godforsaken boudle is gonna take it away from me!
Ooh boy! It's "Sarah Twilight"! Fuck you, Logan! Even though he still tries to act like a woman with some kind of shut personality disorder like the others, he's still the slave that was once owned by Seth Lerch. I assure everyone, that I'll regain the honor in the real Sarah Twilight's name by making this one a failure. Just like Chris Avery. Logan, he's gonna get his fucking head kicked in, like the rest of the former members of the DoT. There's a place called tranny hell, and Alexis Arquette is waiting there to get his wig back from him. I'll make sure he really doesn't have any balls once I tear him to shreds.
Now, is The Nordic Tank, Odin Balfore. I have to admit, that's the fight I wanted. But when he thought that I was bragging about my 'default' win against him, I lost respect for him. I was actually pissed at Odin for being a coward that time, backing out all because of some stupid excuse that he has to sit on his lazy fatass while resting his small and pathetic injury. While he was playing couch potato, I had to deal with the big boss myself. And now, Balfore had done dirty work for Lerch, by beating the stuffing out of Steve Orbit. I actually can't believe that I wasted all this time, preparing myself against some lapdog who lost his dignity over some small thing for some demented fuck that's pulling all the strings. Well, things are gonna turn around soon when I show my full potential.
Then we have the 2nd contender, Waylon Cash. The guy who now looks like shit now, compared to the old hairstyle he used to have. I wonder what his wife sees in him now. Well, the only way to redeem himself is to beat Jonny Fly for the World title. But I doubt that's gonna happen. If he does, then kudos to him. If not, I'll get him a welcome card to the hell that he's gonna receive at my match. The Hellbilly has met his own demise. He'll be meeting his own downfall.
Then we have Steve Orbit, the guy who crashes into orbits for a lifeless purpose. He may he be champion before or after, but he isn't prepared to take on an adventure that's as big as this. 1 on 32. That's a huge number. Can a guy like him be able to fit his body count into a television set as small as a gameboy? He's another victim that'll put his blood on my hands. It's such a pity to fall into the Maverick Elite's deception. Steve may be an orbit, but I'm the entire andromeda that will suck him dry. I'll be there to crush him like my mother's vase.
At least, that's what my brother did.
And well, well, well. What do we have here? The misogynistic Eric Price is in the match too! What a relief! I knew there's another face for me to uglify. I'm guessing that Jeff's girlfriend, Kari, didn't want to kiss him because of the ugliness that he has on his face. Rich, but not smooth. Money can't even buy hinself women, no matter how hard he tried. But there are no worries for him, when I put his head up his own ass. Let's see him kiss that. Hehe. I just made a joke about that one.
Who do we have here? 2 maggots in one package? Interesting. A Bishop and a Priest working together. There's no words that describe what this preacher is gonna do to them. Oh, right. I'm the preacher. And I've got something to say to them: They both can go to hell, when they suffer this losing streak they have now at this very moment. And aren't they slaves of Sethie? Man, this match couldn't get any better than the usual. So that's 4 of Seth's former minions that will get their asses kicked.
We have the girlfriend of Kira Sakazaki, the one and only woman in this match, Sado. Mariko Shinoda. Who knew a girl like that could have amazing powers like that against a psycho like Oblivion? I know I wouldn't, because I don't give two shits about it. Joining this huge battle royal all because of Oblivion? That's a nasty thing to do. There are others that want to have an opportunity like this and she just takes it away? How sad. But that's alright. She gets an opportunity to face me. Unfortunately, I don't go easy on women when it comes to wrestling. It's a rough-housing contest, but it's my job to jeep the fans entertained, by showing the world that Sado is not all that big.
Oh, boy. I forgot Lerch's final former minion. Doc Henry. Right stuff, this guy is. The Confederate Champion, my ass! I'll take that title of his an use it as a toilet seat. I mean, this guy thinks that he can just put all his cards in one gamble. To the world, Doc the Cock is just a trump card for everyone, allowing everyone else to overpower him ever since he lost his thunder. What happened to his style is none of my concern, as I will enjoy the pleasure in taking away the life he's betting on.
Afterwards, we have the controversial Adam Young, who constantly brings outsiders into WCF for no apparent reason. But here in War, he's all alone. With no one to hide behind, he's gonna have to face the music. And I'll make sure his ears go deaf when I play my music. I've heard a huge deal about him before. Had displayed a controversial picture once, when he showed war pictures all over. Let me be the man to say that I give my condolences to the 5 victims that had died of this gruesome death, before I send this villain back to the cave he once came from.
Next, we have 'The Rising Star' Kale Windsor. Funny that this nickname reflects on his career, where he burns out and falls to his own demise. It's probably because this piece of snob crap has the attitude of a 12-year old brat. He's a poser to wrestling. He doesn't know the meaning of hardcore if it hit him in the face. I'll be glad to show him the true meaning of wrestling and that it's not all about glamour and shut like that.
We have a loser called Chris Guy. What kind of a gay-ass monkey name is that? Sheldon Cooper is acceptable. But Chris Guy? Is WCF hiring more mentally challenged jobbers to this match? Haha! He sounds like easy kill to me. I don't care what size he is. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. The smaller they get, the easier to crush. And to top it all off, the more time this match will be wasted by bringing in no names.
Again, another jobber! Is this some kind of joke? We've got another piece of fresh meat called Jimmy. Just Jimmy. Is he like some kind of paperboy that WCF wants to bring in? Why is Seth so desperate to get rid of the news that he's willing to pit brats against savages with bloodlust? The kid needs to go home, sell more newspapers and learn how to take a huge shit in the golden toilet seat. Because he's someone that's easy prey for me to feast on.
Three mysterious competitors. That means three brutal predators. I wonder who are they? Gravedigger, Brad Kane, Chad Evans, Slickie T, Outcast, Jay Williams?! Skyler Striker, Hellz Angel, Donald Deruty, Stuart Slane, Steve Carr?! Maybe even Greenfever or fucking Switches the Clown?! Don't tell me Torture is coming back! Or maybe the big boss, Seth Lerch, is coming to fight me again! It doesn't matter! Any of those three have walked into The Iowan Massacre's trap, to become victims as well. Former world chanpion or not, hall-of-famer or not, I'll still handle the pwnage to their good for nothing carcasses!
Then, there's Jonny Fly. The World champion of the wonder. When is his bullshit gonna end?! If he's gonna be the world champion forever, then he's like Dorian Gray. Trapped by his own hubris, and forever dependent on that belt. If he loses that belt, then good for him. I finally get to wash away the mess he has stained with his shit. As they all say, "nothing lasts forever". When he loses that title, he'll be like everyone else: lambs to the slaughter. They would see what I would do, squash the fly and spray it with antiseptic. Then, hello World title match.
Last but not least, Jay Motherfuckin' Price. This is the guy that I used to give my respect to. But since he told me about it, I finally realized that he's my rival. Since neither of us won the Orange Clockwork House of Fun match, I finally realize there can only be one who will take the crown. That's me. And what happened to his principle of never working for Seth Lerch, ever since he and his goons had beaten the crap outta him? I'm not saying that it was his fault. But I thought that he was a man that follows his own rules. Well, at least there's a huge achievement for me to win, the true end of Jay Price.
I think I've said enough. Time to look up at the sky again. Oh, an aurora-borealis! It's so beautiful. It makes me...have...*yawn*...sweet dreams...Edith...
Zzzzzz.......
