GEW Presents: Shoot to Thrill 2012

[Boomer Brown]

[In the backstage area, Eric Price is seen arriving in a limousine and getting out of it, wearing a black suit with a black shirt and tie. He is gesturing for something to be brought out of it. As it is being brought out, Price is walking and notices Lucien Hicks in the back.]

Eric Price: Mr. Hicks.

[Lucien Hicks rolls his eyes, unnoticed by Price, as he knows who is approaching him.]

Lucien Hicks: Mr. Price. I’d say it’s a pleasure to see you but I don’t want to be called a liar.

Eric Price: Always with great wit about you Mr. Hicks. Wait a minute, there’s something odd about you here tonight. Looking at you, hmm…

Lucien Hicks: What, I’m the same I’ve always been.

[Lucien Hicks looks at Eric Price strangely as Price continues to examine Hicks up and down as if looking for a defect.]

Eric Price: I got it. For once, you’re actually sober and drug free. That’s a huge change for you Mr. Hicks. I know you’re used to being full of a bunch of drugs, especially here in the Bayou where it’s a miracle anyone can actually survive without becoming some kind of a filthy scoundrel.

Lucien Hicks: What do you want Price?

Eric Price: Now now Mr. Hicks, is that any way to treat the WCF Television Champion, one of the richest men in the world, the top man in WCF?

Lucien Hicks: WCF Television Champion? Yes. One of the richest man? Sadly, yes. Top man in the WCF? That’s actually Jonny Fly.

[Eric Price’s smile turns into a frown instantaneously.]

Eric Price: Mr. Hicks, is there a point to why you’re bothering me and sequestering me here?

[Lucien notices what appears to be the shape of an epitaph being brought by some of the crew from Price’s limousine.]

Lucien Hicks: Well, I was going to let you go on your merry way but I noticed that epitaph coming out of your limousine. What do you have planned tonight?

Eric Price: A tribute to the career of Jeff Purse. I figure it’s only fitting that I offer an epitaph in his honor. Now, I have many fans waiting for me so excuse me Hicks. Thank you.

[Eric Price begins walking away directing traffic and where the epitaph should go as he also reviews cue cards for his prepared speech.]

Lucien Hicks: Once an asshole, always an asshole.

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[Welcome to GEW.]

GLOBAL EXTREME WRESTLING AND THE WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIP FEDERATION PRESENT...
SHOOT TO THRILL 2012! Live from the GEW Arena Sept. 16, 2012

[As we head to the ring, we see the Voice of GEW Boomer Brown standing in the ring holding a microphone. The crowd is loud and unruly.]

Boomer Brown: Hello everyone, and welcome to WCF and GEW's SHOOT TO THRILL!



Boomer Brown: We've got a huge show for you tonight-

["Light Years" by Jamiroquai hits the PA as the crowd goes crazy.]

Boomer: And I guess we're starting the show with an interview with the GEW Tag Team Champions, the Mothership Connection!

[Sure enough, from backstage come Cornelius Casanova and the 'Emerald Prince', carrying their gold belts and storming the ring as if on a mission. They slide into the ring, Prince immediately approaching Boomer and waving for the mic.]

Prince: Aight, I'm gonna make this shit simple for the WCF people- you're in our house tonight, and we don't tolerate racists up in this house.

Boomer: Racists? What the hell-

Prince: You know who I mean, Brown... funny name for a white man, but that ain't what I'm talkin 'bout. I'm talkin' bout that jive-ass fake-belt wearin' cracker-ass country boy Doc Henry.

Boomer: Oh no-

Cornelius: Oh yeah, Boomer. Doc Henry represents a time in this country we don't tolerate people glamorizin'. So get your ol' country ass out here and let's do this! One of us against you, Doc- or maybe both of us, if you're feelin' froggy.

[Before Cornelius can speak again Dr. Feelgood thunders out of the PA. Doc Henry steps out from the backstage area to thunderous applause with the Confederate Championship around his waist, and his WCF Tag Team Championship over his shoulder. The crowd cheering loud enough to almost over shadow the music.]

Boomer: Doc is already in his ring gear, I guess he was expecting to wrestle...

[As Doc's music cuts out, Mary comes from backstage dressed in a black bikini top and cream short shorts, and hands him a microphone. He brings it to his mouth to speak, but lowers it with a smile as the crowd continues to welcome their Confederate Champion with open arms. After three more times, the crowd finally dies down enough for the Southern Rogue to speak.]

Doc: Louisiana!! Cajun country!!! It is great to be back below the Mason-Dixon line where people know how to treat a champion!!!

[The crowd goes nuts in support]

Doc: Well, most people that is... It looks like the GEW Tag Team Champions are in need of a lesson of respect. Sure I have a multi-million dollar contract, sponsorships and the like, but not because of being some TV star, no no no... I have them because I earned them kicking ass left and right. Making wanna be world stars like the two of you my little bitches...

Doc: So, you two have a problem with the Confederate Champion huh? Think I'm a racist born of an ignorant heritage, and a lineage in the KKK?

[Mary leans into Doc as he slips an arm around her waist. With a smile only a true son of the south can pull off, Doc brings Mary in for a long passionate kiss. As he looks up at the two in the ring, he gently squeezes Mary's left breast in a sort of exclamation...]

Doc: Tell me was that Racist? Is taking my lovely ebony goddess home each night and fucking her with so much passion that Cupid himself gets uncomfortable racist? You two are like every other pompous ass taught by the vindictive winners of the War of Northern Aggression; ignorant, stupid, sheep following blindly and believing what is fed to you...

Prince: Say, sucka- you ain't got no right to call me no fuckin' sheep. My eyes is wide open and all I see is two bitches up there- one a fine lookin' sister and one ugly ass white broad with a bullshit belt. You want a fight, cracker? We been ready for that shit.

[The crowd roars it's want for a match, as Doc paces back and forth looking over the assembled fans...]

Doc: Fine, you two wannabe Tag Champs want to prove your the best? Well, I'm fine with that. As you can see, I'm geared up and ready to stomp a mudhole in your ass. Now meet my tag team partner...

["Renegade" by Styx begins to play over the PA system as Johnny Reb steps out from the back to an ovation so loud, the entire building shakes with the resonance. With a smile Doc turns and embraces Johnny who is wearing a new New Confederacy 'One Night Only' Shirt. Doc accepts the one Reb hands him and puts it on as the music cuts.]

Reb: That's right boys and girls for One Night Only, the New Confederacy rides again!!!

[With a shared nod, Doc, Reb, and Mary run for the ring and slide in, as the crowd goes nuts. Doc hands Mary his belts, as he and Reb go from corner to corner pumping up an already rabid crowd... Boomer Brown heads back up towards his announce position. The Mothership Connection take a moment to discuss strategy as ring announcer Richard Vranch climbs into the ring.]

Richard Vranch: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! First, the challengers- weighing in at a combined weight of 462 lbs, they are the team of Cornelius Casanova, 'the Funkiest Brother Alive', and 'the Emerald Prince'... ladies and gentlemen, the GEW Tag Team Champions... THE MOTHERSHIP CONNECTION!

[We can hear a minor scratching noise.]

Boomer: Am I on? Buford, you ready? We've got an unannounced show opener for the ages, here-

Buford Pine: You're damn straight we do, Boom- two Southern boys answering some fightin' words from two Northern boys.

Boomer: I wouldn't call the Mothership 'boys', Buford. The Prince takes umbrage with that sort of thing.

Richard Vranch: And their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of 440 lbs... they are former WCF Tag Team Champions, and 2010 WCF Tag Team of the Year! The team of 'Confederate Champion' Doc Henry and 'the Inveterate Confederate' Johnny Reb... ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the return of the NEW CONFEDERACY!!!

Crowd: WEL-COME BACK! WEL-COME BACK! WEL-COME BACK!

Boomer: The last time we saw Doc Henry and Johnny Reb here in the GEW Arena was back in July, when they were among the four men who fought 'the Battle of New Orleans' here... Waylon Cash got the win that night, but both Doc and Reb showed us once again that they were just as extreme as anyone in this company... and there's the bell! Shoot to Thrill is underway!

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MOTHERSHIP CONNECTION vs. NEW CONFEDERACY
Referee: James Beard

Buford: Much as I love the Mothership, Boom, the smart money's on Doc and Reb here.

Boomer: Well we're starting the match off here with Doc Henry and the 'Emerald Prince', Danny Darwin... Prince has been very forward this week with his distaste for Doc Henry, and now he's getting a chance to do something- here we go! Tie-up, Prince looks to be going for a DDT or suplex here... Doc Henry throws him over with a back drop! Prince back up, Doc off the ropes... high crossbody by Doc Henry! Cover, no- Prince throws Doc off... Doc ducks the rising clothesline, Prince lands in the ropes... and Doc just punts him in the gut! Ouch!

Buford: Miscues like that aren't gonna help the Prince much- Doc and Reb are vets. They've made a career out of handling situations like this.

Boomer: Doc Henry doesn't play, that's for sure- he's dragging the Prince up here for something... GERMAN SUPLEX! 1...Prince kicks out at one. Already we're seeing the dominance of the New Confederacy and this match just got underway! Doc isn't done with the Prince yet- rear facelock.. bulldog- no! Prince shoves Doc off into the ropes... drop toehold catches Doc coming off the ropes... somersault leg drop to the back of Doc Henry! Prince makes a tag to Cornelius Casanova... Doc's headed for his corner now, but Cornelius catches him with a double-leg trip... and now a single leg crab! Prince off the ropes... and a huge splash to the back of Doc Henry! The Mothership Connection are known for their double team wrestling moves, Buford-

Buford: Oh yeah they are- these two boys are thick as thieves in that ring.

Boomer: ...again, you might want to choose your wording more carefully there, Buford, seeing as how this match started on accusations of racism- DOUBLE DDT! Doc Henry needs to make the tag to- wait, here comes Reb anyway! The referee seems unfazed by this match denegrating into tornado tag action, so... I guess this is now a tornado tag match! Reb with a clothesline on Cornelius... Prince backdrops Reb, but here comes Doc- clubbing forearm to the back of the Emerald Prince- oklahoma roll! 1...2..no! Prince kicks out at 2!

Buford: Now this is anybody's match. The Confederacy can hang with the best of 'em in a match like this, Boom.

Boomer: Reb takes Cornelius and himself over the top and to the outside with a clothesline... and now Doc's got the Prince in a modified Camel Clutch here, almost a 'Steiner Recliner', even!

Buford: Doc's often underestimated, Boomer- he's got quite the repertoire of moves.

Boomer: Cornelius is still down outside, so Prince is on his own in there so to speak- and now Reb's digging under the ring! The fans are going crazy for what might be the first table of the night-

Buford: Don't look like a table to me.

Boomer: IT'S A LADDER! Johnny Reb's got an eight foot ladder out from under the ring, folks- and the mood here in the GEW Arena is about to change! Reb's setting up that ladder, but here comes Cornelius Casanova- and Reb takes a side russian leg sweep into the ring apron! Cornelius isn't done yet- swinging neckbreaker on the Inveterate One!

Buford: Ladders might be Reb's thing, but Cornelius ain't no stranger to flying off of anything!

Boomer: Here he goes up the ladder- Doc doesn't see him, he's got the Prince wrenched into that clutch-type hold- and there's a huge dropkick to the Doc, saving the Prince! Cornelius Casanova took to the sky and saved his partner from Doc's machinations-

Buford: Somebody call the FAA- we're gonna have a bunch of takeoffs and landings to coordinate tonight, you watch.

Boomer: Cornelius and the Prince have got Doc Henry right where they want him now! Irish whip... Doc counters the Prince's backdrop with a knee to the face; Cornelius leapfrogs his own partner, then takes Doc over with a headscissor!

Buford: Look out for Reb!

Boomer: Cornelius leaps up in celebration, but he doesn't see Reb! Johnny Reb is almost to the top of that ladder- and here he goes! SPRINGBOARD ARM DRAG TAKEOVER BY JOHNNY REB! And a shuffle sidekick for the Prince for good measure! Doc rolls out of the ring to take a breather here, regrouping with Mary on the outside... and Johnny Reb is taking the Mothership to school here! Irish whip on Cornelius- Reb with a flying leg lariat! Prince charges in now, and gets a spinning heel kick for his trouble!

Buford: I haven't seen Johnny Reb this amped up in a while, Boom.

Boomer: Reb's got Cornelius up now... arm wringer... into a snap suplex! He may be the smallest man in this match size-wise, but Reb's got immeasurable heart and tenacity! Prince catches Reb from behind with a double axehandle... and a huge high kick to the face floors the Inveterate One! Doc's sliding that ladder into the ring now, look out Mothership- Prince is holding Reb down now, and Cornelius is headed up top! Cornelius Casanova is about to fly- STARCHILD PRESS! That 450 splash nails Johnny Reb- Doc nails the Prince in the back with that 8-foot ladder! He's got the ladder in a fireman's carry now- Cornelius stands and catches it in the jaw! Doc Henry's cleared the ring and the crowd is going wild!

Buford: Shades of Terry Funk by the Confederate Champion here.

Boomer: Doc's dizzying himself up with that ladder- Cornelius off the apron with a springboard dropkick to the back, and Doc falls tangled up in that ladder! Reb's up now on shaky legs- Prince catches him by the foot from the outside! Reb with a dropkick, but the Prince moves... and Cornelius just throws the ladder at Reb, cracking him on the top of the head! Reb might be busted open here!

Buford: Wow. What a show opener this is turning out to be!

Boomer: Ladder's lying in the ring now, and Cornelius and the Prince are about to put it to use- double suplex on Doc Henry, right across that ladder!

Buford: That'll dislocate the vertebrae right there, Boom. Prince and Cornelius must be lookin' to take Doc out here.

Boomer: Prince and Cornelius have got either end of that ladder- ladder clothesline on Johnny Reb! The New Confederacy are taking a beating here at the hands of the GEW Tag Team Champions... and it looks like we might be coming up on the end here! Doc and Reb are laid out, and now the Prince is climbing to the top rope! Normally Cornelius is the one doing the flying, but I think this time he's the one doing the aiming-

Buford: Absolutely, Boom- he's got Doc lined up just right for some kind of top rope ladder splash here.

Boomer: Prince has the ladder now- here comes Reb! Inverted Frankensteiner!! Cornelius flies over from the impact- and Reb moves Doc! Prince coming off the top rope with that ladder splash and he takes a chest full of stainless steel! Now Reb's headed up top- look out Prince! SOUTHERN STAR! That shooting-star senton has to be the end- 1...2...NO! Cornelius saves his partner at the last second- but can he save himself?! Doc and Reb have got the Funkiest Brother Alive surrounded here, and that's not looking good for a Mothership victory here-

Buford: Prince opened his mouth and asked for this asskickin', Boom.

Boomer: Cornelius is aiming to go down swinging at least- Reb catches a wild punch, boot to the guts- uh oh- powerbomb coming? Wait... YES! CONFEDERATE RAILROAD! Doc caught Cornelius Casanova with a backbreaker coming off of Reb's powerbomb attempt- and Doc makes the cover! 1...2...3!

Richard Vranch: Your winners of the match... THE NEW CONFEDERACY!

Boomer: Two young up and comers just lost a close one to two veterans of the squared circle, sure, but more importantly... history was made here tonight once more in the GEW Arena! The New Confederacy proved once more that they're still one of the greatest teams of all time, Buford.

Buford: And the Mothership just found out the hard way that Southern pride doesn't necessarily mean racism, Boomer... and of course, they also found out that Doc Henry's got more to him than a 'Confederate Title'.

Boomer: And there you see a handshake between Cornelius Casanova and Reb- and between Cornelius and Doc Henry! Will the Prince follow suit? ...yes! It takes a big man to admit defeat and a bigger one to build from it, Buford. These two young men, the Prince and Cornelius, have a brilliant future ahead of them in this business... and as for the Confederacy-

Buford: Don't say it, Boomer.

Boomer: -one can only wonder when the South will rise again!

Buford: Ugh.

Boomer: Back after this.

[Boomer Brown]

[We come back from an advertisement for GEW's "Battle of New Orleans" on DVD and VHS... to see Lucien Hicks, WCF's Renegade Reporter, standing backstage wearing a headset.]

Boomer Brown: Back on WCF/GEW Shoot to Thrill, and we go now to our behind-the-scenes reporter Lucien Hicks! Lucien, what's this we're hearing about the Taipei Deathmatch between Synn and Joel Hall?

Lucien Hicks: Well Boomer, there's no nice way to put this- apparently, both men have been struck with medical emergencies and will be unable to have this match tonight. I'm certainly disappointed, but with such short notice there's not much we can do.

Boomer: Is there any word on what might have sidelined these two?

Lucien: Well... uh, what I'm hearing is that both men have been struck with extreme constipation. Neither has been able to shit all week, Boomer.

Boomer: ...wow. That sounds terrible. Well, maybe we'll be able to get a rematch out of those two once they're 'better'.

Lucien: A moment we'll be anxiously awaiting, one and all. Back to you, Boomer.

Boomer: Well, I guess we'll be getting to the-

["Fuckin' in the Bushes" by Oasis hits the speakers, and the GEW crowd goes insane.]

Richard Vranch: First to the ring, at a combined weight of 513 pounds, hailing from Surrey and Leeds, respectively; "Double R" Rickey Razorblade and Sir Robert Duncan -- The British Invasion!

[The pair makes their way to the ring, haughty and imperious as they survey the audience.]

Boomer: -British Invasion vs. 8th Wonder match! This is one we've all been waiting for, for sure- WCF vs. GEW in tag team action!

Buford Pine: Both of these teams are underestimated severely in their respected companies, Boom... the Invasion have been GEW Tag Champs before, whereas the 8th Wonder have... well, they've just never really hit their stride.

["8th Wonder" by the Sugarhill Gang begins to play over the PA System and both members of The 8th Wonder are pushed onto the stage by a GEW staffer. The crowd responds with a huge ovation for the duo. The loud noise causes Kelvin Staylor to cover his ears as Markus Jayson waves his hand out at the crowd. Accompanying them is their manager, Aaron Miles, in his wheelchair.]

Richard Vranch: And their opponents, Markus Jayson and Kelvin Staylor -- The 8th Wonder!

[Staylor hurriedly powerwalks down the ramp toward the ring while Jayson takes his time and shakes his hands with every single person he walks by. Finally at ringside he slides into the ring and continues waving toward the crowd as Staylor sits in the corner in a fetal position. Aaron Miles wheels his way down the ramp to join them at ringside.]

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BRITISH INVASION vs. 8TH WONDER
Referee: Mark Beever

Boomer: Staylor and Jayson take one look at their opponents across the ring, and immediately set to arguing over which of them has to start! Markus, uh... finally succeeds in pushing his partner through the ropes, and it looks like we're underway! Kelvin finds himself face-to-face with the British Invasion's Sir Robert Duncan...

Buford: Sir Robert's not called 'the British Suplex Machine' for nothin', Boom. He's made a career out of dumping people on their heads, people more clever than these two!

Boomer: The two men stare each other down for a moment; Duncan with an expression of total confidence, and Staylor in wide-eyed fear- Sir Robert moves to tie up with Kelvin, who ducks out of the way just in time and runs halfway across the ring. Again, Duncan tries to actually begin the match, and once more, Staylor dances out of his reach, forcing the bigger man to start chasing him around the ring.

Buford: This is... an interesting strategy, but it might work out for Kelvin Staylor!

Boomer: Sir Robert stops and throws up his arms in exasperation, turning to the crowd as though they can provide answers to Kelvin Staylor's inexplicable behavior... while Duncan is distracted, Staylor steps up and slaps his opponent right across the face! SRD looks absolutely shocked!

Buford: Staylor is grinning like an idiot and congratulating himself on his own bravado here-

Boomer: Sir Robert's not gonna take that lying down! SRD urns on him with a feral snarl... before Kelvin can react, Duncan grabs him in a waistlock and proceeds to lift Staylor up... up... and over his shoulder in a massive suplex that reverbrates throughout the arena! Bridge into a pin-

One ...

Two ...

Thr -- NO!

Buford: Thought that might've been it, Boomer!

Boomer: Finally deciding to aid his partner, Markus Jayson reaches into the ring and places Staylor's foot on the bottom rope, breaking up the pinfall. But the interference doesn't go unnoticed... Richey Razorblade drops down off the ring apron and is waiting for Jayson as he attempts to return to his corner. Instead of relative safety, Markus is greeted with a Liverpool Kiss. All semblance of order breaks down as "Double R" sets to administering the type of beatdown you can only get on the other side of The Pond!

Buford: Looks like we've got a bit of the old ultra-violence a tad before of our Clockwork Orange House of Fun match, Boom.

Boomer: In the meantime, Kelvin Staylor is in trouble- Sir Robert is tossing him around the ring like a ragdoll! Scoop powerslam puts Staylor on the mat again. Disoriented, Kelvin pops back up -- more a result of momentum than his own willpower -- and is taken down one more time with a stepover toehold... into a camel clutch. Staylor screams in fear and pain, calling out for someone -- anyone -- to help him, as he strains toward the ropes. Duncan lets him gain a few inches, and then drags him back to the middle of the ring, keeping him well away from the possibilty of a rope break or a tag!

Buford: The Invasion have experience, Boomer, that much is a given.

Boomer: On the outside, however, Markus has managed to escape Richey Razorblade by sliding underneath the ring. While Rickey is looking for him on one side, Markus Jayson slips out the opposite side, dragging a table along with him. This piques the crowd's curiosity and Jayson takes his time setting the table up, playing to the audience, until he hears a particularly high-pitched squeal from his partner. Fortunately, Sir Robert has his back to Markus; so Jayson climbs into the ring, creeps up behind Duncan, and at a loss for anything else to cause a distraction... he grabs the waistband of Duncan's trunks and pulls up as hard as he can. The atomic wedgie diverts Sir Robert's attention, only to focus it all on Markus Jayson. Staylor, whimpering in gratitude at the reprieve, slowly crawls to his own corner, apparently unaware that his partner is nowhere near!

Buford: And the 8th Wonder's lack of coordination might be as big of an enemy for them as the Invasion are.

Boomer: Now it's Markus Jayson who's in trouble, being stalked on the outside by Razorblade and in the ring by Duncan. In the 8th Wonder corner, Kelvin Staylor looks around in puzzlement and can only come to one conclusion: obviously, a tag was made while he wasn't paying attention, so he climbs out onto the ring apron and waits. The referee has other ideas, and is yelling at him to get back in the ring; meanwhile the British Invasion have herded Markus to their own corner and are pounding on him with evident glee. Aaron Miles gets in on the action, rolling himself up as close to the ring steps as possible and shouting at the ref with his wheelchair's computer to get his match under control. It takes a minute or two, but he finally does, and the two legal men are in the ring again. Staylor immediately turns around and tags in Jayson. Markus Jayson runs in like a man on fire; evading Sir Robert, he hits the ropes, bounces off, and flies at his opponent with a clothesline. Unfortunately for Jayson, Duncan has seen this a million times and counters by standing precisely where he is. Markus still misses him by a mile. He hits the top rope, tumbles over, and somehow manages to tangle himself up so that his arms are trapped between the top and middle ropes. Not one to pass up such an easy opportunity, Sir Robert stops to tag in his partner, and the two of them set to work on the poor bastard with boots and fists once again.

Buford: This is just... wow. I think I've seen everything now, Boom.

Boomer: As the ref begins counting, Kelvin starts climbing the turnbuckles. Whatever he has in mind, it probably isn't very smart. He manages to perch on the top turnbuckle, and then makes the mistake of looking down; it isn't really that high, but he still gets vertigo, and windmills his arms in an attempt to regain his balance. Just as Sir Robert Duncan returns to his corner, Staylor prepares to leap off... and falls flat on his face. There is a collective gasp from the audience -- but not for this unimpressive feat. A figure in silhouette stands tall, arms folded across a massive chest, gazing down at the mess in the ring... IT'S ODIN BALFORE!!!

Buford: What the hell is he doin' here?

Boomer: The look on his face is inscrutable and his eyes glitter with intent- an all-out brawl is going on in the ring; no one notices Balfore right away. The British Invasion get right in Odin's face and start talking trash...

Buford: Yeah, that's not going to work for them... Odin Balfore is a bad motha f-

Boomer: Shut your mouth! The hint of a sneer curls his lip, but no other reaction comes until the referee attempts to eject Balfore from the ring... Odin casts him a disdainful glance, grabs him by the throat with one massive hand, and carries him to the ropes before tossing him over -- directly onto the wheelchair-bound Aaron Miles, and spilling both men to the floor!

Buford: Ok, NOW I've seen it all.

Boomer: Irritated at the interruption, Razorblade and Duncan exchange a nod... Richey Razorblade keeps Odin's focus while Sir Robert Duncan slips behind him. But the Nordic Tank is not so easily fooled! As if gifted with preternatural senses, Odin lifts up his arm, gazes into Razorblade's eyes... and drives his elbow backward, smashing Duncan right in the nose. Realizing the kind of trouble he's in, Richey starts to back off slowly. Balfore smiles, stalking him, matching him pace for pace. Just as it occurs to Razorblade to perhaps leave the ring, Odin makes his move- quick as a cat, he closes the distance and grabs Richey by the throat in a single, fluid motion. He lifts him into the air, holds him up for several seconds, and with an almighty Norse battle cry, brings Richey Razorblade down across his knee!

Buford: He calls that 'Ragnarok', Boomer!

Boomer: He's in deep with Seth Lerch these days- you've gotta wonder if this is somehow a 'hit' or something! Sir Robert has recovered sufficiently to take stock of the situation. Anger at what's been done to his partner -- and his own face -- outweighs any common sense Duncan may have ever possessed. He charges at Balfore with an attempted lariat, but the Maverick catches him in a powerful bear hug and begins squeezing the life out of Duncan. The crimson stream from Sir Robert's smashed nose is matched by the hue of his face as he struggles for breath. Balfore releases him only to get a better hold before lifting him up and nailing him with the Mark of Odin (jackknife powerbomb)! Thinking that Balfore is maybe on their side for some unexplained reason, Markus Jayson and Kelvin Staylor climb back into the ring, seeking to thank their new best friend for saving their asses. Unamused at being hugged by the pair, Odin swings a knockout punch at Staylor, who drops like a bag of rocks. Realizing the mistake too late, Jayson scurries away -- but not quickly enough. Balfore grabs him and, almost negligently, tosses him over the ropes...right through the table Jayson had set up earlier. Standing in the middle of the ring, Odin Balfore thumps his chest in triumph and raises his arms to a wild clamor from the audience.

Buford: Odin Balfore just jobber-killed everyone! Wow. It's like a poll question in here.

Boomer: I guess Corey Black was busy! Just as inexplicably as he arrived, Balfore leaves the ring, walking sedately up the ramp without a backward glance. The referee stirs, climbs dazedly back into the ring, and surveys the carnage. He's about to signal for the bell when he notices Sir Robert getting unsteadily to his feet, using the ropes for support. Razorblade and Staylor are still out cold, but Markus Jayson is somehow conscious and struggling his way under the bottom rope. As Duncan stands, still clutching the ropes, Jayson digs deep and finds a second wind. He rushes at a very surprised Sir Robert and brings up a hand, then swings it down, hitting Duncan across the chest with a sloppy karate chop. This elicits a Nature Boy-esque "Whooo!" from the audience. Encouraged, Markus backs up a pace, measures his opponent, and goes for a chop to the throat. And then another, and another, until Sir Robert falls to his knees, choking. Markus Jayson gives him one more, just to be sure, and then slides out of the ring once more. He grabs the nearest weapon to hand -- Aaron Miles' wheelchair -- and throws it over the ropes before climbing back in. Jayson then proceeds to beat Duncan senseless with the wheelchair, which isn't nearly as impressive as it might've been without Balfore's interference. In fact, it's mostly just kind of sad, which only occurs to Markus when the audience starts to boo him.

Buford: Even the ref looks mildly disturbed, and he calls violent hardcore matches for a living!

Boomer: Markus Jayson drops the chair, hauls the mostly-unconscious Sir Robert Duncan to the middle of the ring, and puts one foot on Duncan's chest. The ref starts the count-

One ...

Two ...

Boomer: Duncan gets his shoulder up! Jayson looks utterly surprised. He pulls Sir Robert to his feet once more, takes two steps back... and delivers a shockingly well-executed superkick. Sir Robert Duncan falls to the mat, gasping for breath. Markus covers him again.

One ...

Two ...

THREE !!!

Buford: I don't believe this, Boomer- did the 8th Wonder just beat the British Invasion?

Boomer: YES! The 8th Wonder have won! In the biggest upset since possibly the beginning of recorded history, the 8th Wonder defeats GEW's own British Invasion -- with a little help from Odin Balfore and a horrendous beating with a wheelchair! We'll... wow. We'll be right back, fans... holy sh-

[Boomer Brown]

[When we return, we can see Odin Balfore walking through a hallway backstage... and Lucien Hicks, Renegade Reporter, attempting to catch up with him.]

Lucien: Odin! Odin, hey- was that a message, or...

[Odin turns and Lucien recognizes him as Odin.. but not Odin?]

Lucien: You look... younger. Did you change your hair?

[Odin laughs and heads off. Loud cheering from behind Lucien causes him to turn and see Markus Jayson and Kelvin Staylor, the 8th Wonder, coming towards him amidst exuberant celebration.]

Staylor: Weeee are the champions! Weee are the champ- LUCIEN!

Jayson: Lucien, we did it! We're killing machines now! I think I murdered a guy!

Staylor: We're the greatest tag team in GEW history now!

Lucien: You're certainly the winningest journalists in WCF, that much is for sure. How does it feel to have won your first match, guys?

Jayson: It's great! First we're running away from big angry guys, then a bigger angrier guy comes out and takes the big angry guys down, then I kinda blanked out and then I used half of Aaron Miles to kill a guy! Whee! I'm goin' to DISNEYLAND!

[Kelvin Staylor comes out of nowhere with a big bucket of icy cold Gatorade, pouring it ceremoniously over his partner.]

Jayson: AHHHH! THAT'S SO COLD AND WET! ARRRGH!

[Markus Jayson karate-chops his partner who falls to the floor. Markus looks down at Kelvin, shrugs, and then continues celebrating]

Jayson: We're #1! We're #1!

Lucien: So there you have it- back to you, Boomer.

[The lights turn to a blood red as the crowd stands up on their feet, as "Professional Griefers" hits the P.A and FPV, signature duster and Genesis T-Shirt, comes out the curtains. He plays to excited crowd like the circus ringmaster, fistbumping furiously along with the crowd and the music, and each fistbump triggers an explosion of black pyro from the stage.]

Boomer: Back here at Shoot to Thrill-

Boudlebot: FPV making his way to the ring.

Boomer: Who the hell is that?

[FPV takes the walk down the ramp, slapping fans hands before climbing the steps and on top of the turnbuckles, where he fistbumps one more time, sending one more explosion of pyro throughout the arena. He climbs into the ring and sits in a lotuc position in the corner, waiting for the match to start.]

Sarah Twilight: Wait a minute.. who the fuck are you?

Boudlebot: I’m Logan, and I’m announcing this shitty match.

Sarah Twilight: Oh.

Boudlebot: Why are YOU announcing? Shouldn’t you be competing?

Sarah Twilight: I am. I’m backstage right now waiting to come out. I have a headset on that’s being fed over the live speakers.

Boudlebot: The speakers are eating your headset?

[The lights in the arena shut down and remain disabled blacking out everyone’s vision. Elena Siegman’s “The One” eerie piano introduction creeps out onto the speakers. A spotlight centers onto the stage highlighting Sarah Twilight who has just emerged wearing a headset on his... head, AND NOTHING ELSE BUT A PANTIES AND A BRA! He stands there long enough to joyfully inhale the hatred filling the arena air. Pyros launch themselves down the stage line and explode white sparks above. Sarah begins walking down the ramp and through the thick echoes of booing. He enters the ring in an almost cocky proud fashion, centering himself in the middle while pyros shoot from all four posts and light his self-absorbed poses.]

Sarah Twilight: Louisiana sure does suck. We are in Louisiana right?

Boudlebot: SHUT UP! And put on some clothes.

Sarah Twilight: I thought this was a bra and panties match.

-light turns off-
-"Ookami" by STEREOPONY plays-

.
..
...

*BANG* *BANG*

Sarah Twilight: Holy shit what’s happening?!

red lights flicks twice as the drum hits. and the light goes off again.

..
...
....

*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*

the light flicks again three times....

...
....
.....

*BANG* *BANG* *BANG* BANG*

the lights continue to flick as the guitar tune started to hits. the camera move closer to the jumbotron as we can see a view of Akihabara district at night (ala Drew McIntyre camera). as the music heards.....

GO!!!!

~BOOM!!~

Sarah Twilight: AHHH. Hold me, FPV!

[Pyro explodes in the entranceway, as we can see Kira, Sado and Haruna appear. they gain a chorus of cheers along the way. attractive and popular Kira Sakazaki give a five to all attendance in the right side of the ramp while cool and sensual Mariko Shinoda greets people on her left. also cute and adorable Haruna Sakazaki waving both of her hands in the middle. Both Kira and Sado run and slide into the ring while Haruna waits outside the ring. Kira and Sado raise the International Title belt in the left rope while Haruna blows a long kiss, making the crowd cheers like crazy.]

Boudlebot: And the bell rings!

------------------------------------------------------------

FPV/SARAH TWILIGHT vs. KIRA SAKAZAKI/MARIKO 'SADO' SHINODA
Referee: Philip Pregeant

[Sarah Twilight stands on outside turnbuckle, still only wearing a leopard thong and white bra, and still wearing the commenter’s headset. FPV starts off the party running across the ring and meeting Kira with punches, who is the legal person for their team. Kira fires back, gaining control of the fist fight and hammering FPV into the turnbuckle. Kira backs up, letting FPV stumble out.]

Sarah Twilight: FPV looking a little dazed.

[Kira flies into FPV with a dropkick.]

Boudlebot: Ouch.

[FPV’s feet slip out from underneath him and he goes down flat on his fuckin’ back. Kira kicks at FPV a few times as he rolls back to his feet. FPV is up, Kira goes for another dropkick, though he manages to sidestep this one. FPV grabs Kira by the legs while he’s in midair and hits.. SOMETHING.]

Sarah Twilight: I have no idea what that was but it seemed effective. Kira is down.

Bouldebot: That was treacherously delicious.

[FPV falls on top of Kira for a pin attempt.]

One.

Two.

[Kira kicks out!]

Sarah Twilight: Close call.

[FPV picks up Kira by the hair and hits a quick snap suplex, walking over to the turnbuckle and looking at Sarah.]

Sarah Twilight: FPV going for the tag. Good strategy.

[FPV tags in Sarah Twilight.]

Sarah Twilight: And he tagged me. Stop looking at my breasts, buddy.

[FPV shakes his head and climbs in through the ropes, taking position outside of the turnbuckle. Sarah Twilight gets into the ring, strutting over to the downed Kira and picking him up by the hair…]

Sarah Twilight: This guy smells funny.

[Kira fires a right punch out of nowhere taking Sarah by surprise. Twilight reels back, but soon gets kicked in the gut and Kira hits a DDT which knocks the headset off of Sarah.]

Boudlebot: Well.. just lost half of our commentary.

[Sarah Twilight scrambles to his feet, trying to pick the headset back up, and gets kicked in the gut again followed by another DDT! Kira falls on top of Twilight and hooks the leg.]

One.

Two.

[Sarah kicks out! Kira rolls over to his corner and tags in Sado, who steps into the ring.]

Boudlebot: Sado measuring Sarah Twilight up.

[Sarah stumbles to his feet, turning around, and Sado rips off Sarah Twilight’s bra!]

Boudlebot: PUPPIES!

Boomer: Fans, I'm- nevermind, I'm going for a coffee. We'll be back to sanity in a few minutes- do not adjust your sets, you ARE watching Global Extreme-

[Sarah Twilight gasps in horror, covering his chest up with his arms and rolls out of the ring, hiding beneath it.]

Boudlebot: Sado going after Sarah… but no.. HERE COMES FPV!

[FPV flies off the top rope and hits a Goomba Stomp on Sado! FPV drops onto Sado and pins.]

Boudlebot: He’s not even the legal man!

One!

Two!

THREE?

THRE - ?

[SADO KICKS OUT. Sado pops up onto her feet, hitting FPV with reverse samoan drop, hooking his leg afterwards.]

OONE!

TWWWO!

THRE –

FOUR?

[FPV KICKS OUT!]

Boudlebot: Hot dog!

[Sarah Twilight rolls into the ring, wearing a “Steve Orbit” t-shirt that he must have found underneath. Twilight and Sado square off.]

Boudlebot: Wait.. what’s this?

[DA FUNK LOWERS FROM THE RAFTERS ON A GIGANTIC DISCO BALL. “I’m Sexy and I Know It Or Something” starts playing. Twilight dances. Sado shrugs and dances too. FPV grabs the ropes for support and climbs to his feet… to dance. Kira gets into the ring and dances. The invisible referee begins dancing. Boudlebot nearby the commentary booth begins doing a robot.]

Boudlebot: Someone just got a ticket.. to DANCE CITY.

[Sarah Twilight nonchalantly dances over to Sado and tries to hit a surprise Twilight Zone, but Sado counters, pushing Sarah Twilight away, who dances backwards into the turnbuckle. FPV dances into Kira and hits a closeline, Kira dances off her feet and drops into a Spin-a-roonie. Sado moonwalks and elbows FPV in the face, who sells it like a champ… leapfrogging out of the ring and into the audience where he crowd surfs.]

Boudlebot: Impressive crowd surfing by FPV.

[Sado rips Sarah Twilight’s “Steve Orbit” shirt off and Sarah hides back under the ring in a fit of embarrassment.]

Boudlebot: Winner by Sado's moonwalk disqualification... FPV and Sarah!

[We cut to the GEW Announcer's Booth, where Buford Pine sits alone with a dumbfounded look on his face.]

Buford Pine: ...did I get replaced by a robot Logan?

Boudlebot: SHUT UP!

Buford Pine: ...we'll be right-

Boudlebot: I SAID SHUT UP, FAT STUFF!

[Boomer Brown]

[We return to the GEW Announcer's Booth, where we see Boomer Brown and Buford Pine both sipping coffee out of styrofoam cups.]

Boomer: Alright, well... that was interesting.

Buford: I thought for a minute there I'd been replaced by a robot.

Boomer: Or I had! I'm not sure what that was all about, but this IS GEW... nothing ever goes the way we think it will around here.

["Toxicity" by System of a Down begins playing over the PA as the crowd goes crazy]

Buford: Reptile?!

Boomer: Like I said, Buford- nothing goes the way we think it will around here. Reptile had said he'd find himself an opponent- maybe he did.

[We cut to the ring where a man in a green robed costume with a green mask and a silver title belt climbs through the ropes, then demands (and receives) a microphone.]

Reptile: This show is a sad excuse for a GEW show - the deathmatch got cancelled because two losers can't shit? You've GOT TO BE KIDDING, right? Is THAT the kind of dangerous violent individuals WCF employs? Two guys who can't even show up to fight to the death because their tummies hurt? I'm protesting this show for one simple reason: you can't have a GEW event without the Deathmatch Champion, and I AM THE CHAMPION OF THE DEATHMATCH! This show ain't goin' anywhere until one of these sad-sack WCF losers get down here and-

[Suddenly a woman voice yells out from the speaker.]

"No, go away! Leave me alone!"

Boomer: OH NO-

Buford: He's here?! That freak?!

[Smoke billows from backstage... and in the cloud, a shadowy figure emerges.]

"Don't you come in here! I don't want you in here..."

[The figure emerges from the smoke, headed towards the ring...]

"No, no, no, NO! AHHHHHHH!!!"

[He raises his red right hand in a cut-throat gesture. He is holding a large metal box with a heavy plastic handle.]

Reptile: Yeah, perfect- bring it, von Liebert!

Buford: Reptile has officially lost his god-damned mind.

Boomer: You can say that again- there's the bell...? Is this- this is a GEW Deathmatch Title match, fans-

["Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones hits the PA as the lights go out. The crowd goes completely insane.]

Boomer: ...Oh my god.

Buford: I coulda told you this was gonna happen-

[The lights come back on, and when they do we can see Nathan von Liebert mid-ring with his hands around Reptile's throat... and Nightmare standing on the apron wearing her old flame facepaint and holding her twin billy clubs.]

-----------------------------------------------------------------

GEW Deathmatch Title Match
REPTILE (c) vs. NATHAN VON LIEBERT vs. NIGHTMARE
Referee: Clive Anderson

Boomer: Reptile with a few strong punches to the gut of NvL, but to no avail- von Liebert just tosses him down and goes after Nightmare- who springs into the ring with a diving attack, clubbing Nathan with those twin clubs of hers! Nathan stumbles back a few steps... Reptile hits a dropkick on Nathan and down he goes! Nightmare and Reptile lock up... Reptile with an arm-wringer on the former Deathmatch Champion... Nathan's up! Nathan is- he sweeps the legs out from under Reptile, who lets go of Nightmare... and now he's dragging Reptile over to the other side of the ring! Nightmare's just sitting back and watching this- Reptile's getting strangled by a foot choke here, which Nathan calls 'the Choker'!

Buford: That's about as simple and brutal as it gets, standing on a man's wind pipe like that-

Boomer: Reptile's tapping! Reptile just tapped out!

Richard Vranch: Reptile has been eliminated!

Boomer: In almost record time, Reptile has been eliminated by Nathan von Liebert... which means that now we've got NvL and Nightmare going one on one for the GEW Deathmatch Title!

Buford: This is the fight we've all been waiting for since Nathan kidnapped her earlier this year, Boomer-

Boomer: -and nobody's been waiting on it more than Nightmare! She charges in swinging those clubs, but Nathan just knocks her to the mat with a swift boot to the face, and those clubs fly... and now he's dragging her up into a full nelson! Nightmare's being wrenched in half by- dear god, what a dragon suplex!

Buford: This is the classic matchup of strength versus speed- crazy, crazy strength versus vicious speed, but that's beside the point.

Boomer: Or it's the whole point, one or the other- and now he's choking Nightmare like he- no! Nightmare rolls over, dragging NvL down by one leg- and right into a single-leg boston crab! Quick on the comeback after that vicious dragon suplex, Nightmare's waited too long for this fight to give up on it now! Nathan von Liebert's dragging the smaller Nightmare towards those ropes- he got 'em! Nightmare releases the hold... off the ropes- and jumps right onto NvL's back and putting him into a chokehold!

Buford: These two are gonna murder each other here tonight, Boomer- that's my prediction.

Boomer: NvL throws himself backwards into the turnbuckle, dropping Nightmare to the mat like a bad habit! Backing up, he's got a full head of steam- and what a knee lift! Nightmare just ate a knee to the face... and now Nathan's manhandling her up to the top rope- and coming off with a superplex! That shook the whole damn arena with impact! Cover- 1...2-no! One count only!

Buford: Can you believe the size of the fight in Nightmare, Boomer?

Boomer: Yes. Yes, I can... this is the man who drove her out of wrestling and away from her husband earlier this year, Buford, and she's not here for a match so much as a fight! Nathan whips Nightmare to the opposite corner... charges in with a spear- she dodges! Nightmare moved and Nathan took that ringpost in the shoulder... wheelbarrow? AND A KICK TO THE... for those spanish-speaking members of our audience, we'll call them 'cojones'. Nathan just slumps into the corner, and Nightmare's got this entire arena behind her now... baseball sl- now NVL moves! He rolls right out of the ring, leaving Nightmare in his dust- and now he's got her by one leg! Nightmare's kicking for dear life- oh god, he slams her knee into the ringpost! And again!

Buford: Nathan von Liebert knows no mercy, Boom.

Boomer: Well he's certainly pretty well accustomed to how we do business here in GEW, apparently- after bending Nightmare the wrong way around the ringpost, he's going under the ring for a table!

Buford: Yeah, he's certainly figured out the finer points of GEW- wrecking people, wrecking furniture... good times.

Boomer: I'm not sure either of these two are having 'good times', Buford- NvL's setting that table up bridging the rail and the apron now-

Buford: Look out below, Nathan!

Boomer: NIGHTMARE FROM THE TOP ROPE- Nathan catches her suicide dive! Nathan's got- INFERNO DDT! Nightmare kicked her legs around and drove Nathan right through that table with her Inferno DDT! Cover- 1....2.NO! Just barely a two count says Referee Clive Anderson... my god, what a reversal- I thought for sure Nightmare was about to get drilled there!

Buford: I'm pretty sure Nathan did too, Boom.

Boomer: Nightmare is just slamming Nathan's head into that crushed table- and now Nathan's got her by the throat with that red right hand of his! He's got a stranglehold- Nightmare throws her legs over him and flips around into an armbar! Variation fujiwara armbar here by the Lady of Rage, causing Nathan to let go of his choke- but he grabs a piece of broken table and clocks her in the face with it! Nightmare's got splinters of pressboard table in her hair and her makeup is a mess, but worse than that Nathan von Liebert is still going strong! Both fighters up now, Nightmare charges- and gets powerslammed onto the concrete floor, good night! Cover- 1...one count only! Good lord, both of these wrestlers are going to DIE in this match, aren't they?

Buford: It is a deathmatch, Boomer. Only makes sense.

Boomer: Nathan's up and looking for something- and finds it! NvL's got a folding chair and he's headed after Nightmare with it- Cranium Cracker! She spin kicks into the chair, knocking NvL for a loop... and a superkick knocks the Devil's Right Hand over the guardrail and into the crowd! Nightmare's got the crowd behind her again, and they're clearing her a path to her arch-enemy... she's setting that chair up as a springboard now...

Buford: I think we're about to see another flying attack, Boom.

Boomer: What in the world would give you that idea, Buford? Full head of steam- TRIPLE JUMP HURANCANRANA INTO THE THIRD ROW! Nathan von Liebert, welcome to GEW!

Crowd: GEW! GEW! GEW!

Boomer: If you're watching at home, fans, do not adjust your sets- this is Global Extreme Wrestling, but it's not the usual- this is SHOOT TO THRILL 2012! You are watching the GEW Deathmatch Title match, and our champion Reptile was rather quickly and unceremoniously eliminated... so now, either former champion Nightmare or this monster Nathan von Liebert will be the new GEW Deathmatch Champion! NvL's back up to his feet, and Nightmare's waiting for him with a chair- OH MY GOD, WHAT IMP- NvL's still standing?! He's still up! Another chairshot- he just shrugs it off!

Buford: I didn't know these WCF boys were in such a habit of no-selling, Boomer-

Boomer: And a third- and a fourth! Four chairshots finally combine to take Nathan von Liebert off his feet... good lord! Where did they find this guy anyway?

Buford: ...uh, according to his bio here it says he escaped from a mental hospital.

Boomer: I, for one, believe the living hell out of that. Nightmare's headed back to the ring now, or possibly looking for a bazooka or something... nope, she's going for another table! You can hear the crowd's reaction, they want to see Nightmare put this bastard down once and for all on the home court! That table slides into the ring, and just in time too- here comes Nathan von Liebert, and he's on a mission! Over the rail now... Nightmare with another kick- no! GOOD LORD! CAPTURE SUPLEX ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR! NvL caught the- cover! 1...2...NO! Nightmare kicks out again!

Buford: That woman's spine must be made of titanium, Boomer.

Boomer: You can say that again, Buford! Nathan's obviously frustrated here... he signals with that throat-cutting motion again like this is the end! You know what that means- inverted facelock, going for the Straight Jacket Drop- NIGHTMARE WITH A BACKFLIP! INVERTED DDT ONTO THE FLOOR! These two have been back and forth in epic and violent fashion so far, people, and we're STILL not done here! Nightmare rolls Nathan into the ring, then slides in after him... and gets to work setting up that table!

Buford: She shouldn't turn her back on Nathan von Liebert like that-

Boomer: Truer words are rarely spoken, Buford! Table open mid-ring now... Nightmare catches Nathan with a right hook to the face, turning his head back... irish whip now... shoulder tackle by von Liebert! Nightmare folds like a road map... Nathan catches her by the head... and there's a kneeling powerbomb! And now he's straining to lift her back up for a second... AND THERE'S THE SPIKE- OH MY GOD.

Crowd: GEW! GEW! GEW!

Buford: Could we be lucky enough to see a double-knockout?

Boomer: No, they're both moving- fans, Nathan just drove Nightmare through that table with a sitout powerbomb, but in the process he got stabbed in the forehead with that railroad spike! Nathan's up and spinning around, looking at the cheering and chanting crowd... and tasting his own blood... and now he's howling like a madman!

Buford: Uh, according to this bio... blood tends to bring out his even more sadistic side. Guy named 'Vlad'.

Boomer: Nightmare's up now... cartwheels to dodge Nathan, but he grabs her hair and yanks! Nightmare's legs come out from under her- OH GOD- RIGHT INTO A STRAIGHT JACKET DROP! Nightmare's neck might be- 1...2...it's over.

Richard Vranch: Your winner of the match... and the NEW GEW DEATHMATCH CHAMPION... NATHAN VON LIEBERT!

Buford: Wow... somebody should check on Nightmare-

Boomer: I don't think he's done with her yet- referee Clive Anderson's trying to raise Nathan's hand, but he's not letting go of Nightmare's neck! Double chokelift... oh god, he threw her right over the ropes and to the floor! Nathan snatches the Deathmatch Title from the referee, and now... where the hell is he going now?

Buford: I think he's looking for that box he brought with him, Boomer...

Boomer: Yeah, there it is- what the hell is in that box? ...what is that? Is that a- OH NO- OH NO!

Buford: I think that's some kinda electric branding iron, Boomer! Looks like a heatin' element on the end there-

Boomer: Nightmare's rolling around on the floor in pain, and Nathan von Liebert's coming at her with a god damn branding iron, somebody stop this! He's... he's ripping her costume down over her rear end-

Buford: Crowd certainly seems to like that part, anyhow.

Boomer: Is NOTHING sacred? You already won the match, you already won the belt- JESUS CHRIST, NO! THIS IS DISGUSTING- NATHAN VON LIEBERT IS BRANDING HIS INITIALS ON THE REAR END OF NIGHTMARE!

Buford: Where the hell is-

[The crowd goes wild]

Boomer: IT'S THE PHANTASM, THANK GOD! POLAR IS COMING RIGHT AT NVL- NvL grabs the belt and takes off! Nathan von Liebert has taken the Deathmatch Title, and has gotten a pound of flesh out of Nightmare one way or another-

Buford: And how about that, Boomer- for the second time in a year, the Deathmatch Title's headed to Pennsylvania... and both times, the person who won beat Nightmare for it.

Boomer: Yeah.. but this time, our Deathmatch Champion ain't no Kid Phantasm. This time it's that sick son of a bitch who just charred the flesh of a woman for fun! Polar's helping her up now, but she's not having it- Nightmare's up and in visible pain, but she's storming to the back in search of NvL! Fans, we'll be right back- don't go anywhere!

[Boomer Brown]

[We return to the ring at the GEW Arena... where a crew appears to be decorating the ring?]

Boomer Brown: Folks, the ring is now being decorated it seems, as strange as it is for GEW. This may the first we’ve ever had of these.

Buford Pine: What are you talkin’ about?

Boomer Brown: We are about to have a tribute to the career of Jeff Purse, presented by Eric Price.

Buford Pine: This’ll be good.

Boomer Brown: Clearly no expense has been spared here as the ring now has black carpeting with what appears to be Price’s logo in the center. An epitaph is also there with the name “Jeffrey Purse” inscribed on it.

“You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell starts playing over the speaker system of the GEW Arena.

Boomer Brown: And folks, for the first time ever in GEW history, we welcome Eric Price.

Buford Pine: Now now, this is a city slicker we’re dealing with and he told me he likes to be called Mr. Eric Price.

Boomer Brown: Regardless, Price making his way down to the ring here in a full black suit with some cue cards in hand as this crowd is definitely letting him know how they feel about him.

Crowd: Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!

Eric Price is now in the ring standing right next to the epitaph with cue cards in hand as he looks out at the audience with microphone in hand.

Eric Price: Shhhhh!!! Please.

Crowd: Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!

Eric Price: Now now, be quiet please. Show some respect here and it’s not nice of you to refer to the dearly departed in that manner. Now please, show some respect.

Boomer Brown: I don’t think they were referring Purse.

Buford Pine: What’re you saying?

Eric Price: Tonight, tonight we are here to pay tribute and honor a man’s career. We are here to remember the career of one Jeffrey Purse. A man who billed himself as “The Future” of WCF, a member of the group of criminal losers known as Pantheon, a former WCF United States Champion, a former WCF Tag Team Champion, and the former WCF Television Champion, whom I beat for the Television Title by the way, but this is not about me, this is about Mr. Purse. Now Jeff Purse had what many have undoubtedly called an amazing in ring career and had a lot of potential within him to become the next top guy in our business.

Boomer Brown: Very credible reading from those cue cards.

He had the ability, the fortitude, the raw charisma, the intelligence, the wherewithal to really know what it took to get it done in this ring night after night and night after night he left it all in this ring. The blood, the sweat, and the tears were all left in this ring by a man that gave everything he could for this business.

Buford Pine: So emotional. Look, even Price is tearing up.

Boomer Brown: Crocodile tears.

Images are being shown of Purse on the big screen of his in ring accomplishments as well as related pictures to superstars Price is mentioning as the speech goes along as a PowerPoint Presentation.

Eric Price: Now Mr. Purse, you were on ride and hell of a ride it was to the top. You associated yourself with men such as Jonny Fly, Corey Black, The Polar Phantasm, NightRider. And these are just to name a few. Now notice those names, they are names of hall of famers or will be hall of famers. You had a star studded career, you were on a great run as a tag champion, an extremely great run as the WCF United States Champion, then you traded in that title for the WCF Television Championship. Then what happened? You were on such a great run with such great potential. What happened was this?

A shot is shown of Eric Price with his new WCF Television Championship on the night he beat Jeff Purse for it.

Eric Price: Ladies and gentlemen, what happened is that yours truly Mr. Eric Price ended the roll that Jeff Purse was on and finally brought him out of fantasy land. Let’s talk reality folks. Jeff Purse associated himself with top names but only because he both sucked and blew them all the time. You got a crotchety old guy like Corey Black, he likes a young guy with him, that’s how Purse got into the fold. You got Jonny Fly, a guy so smug and arrogant, his ego should have its own Texas sized ZIP code. This was his way of appearing to be magnanimous as it would make it seem like he was always ready to pave the way for the future but in reality, we all know that Fly will try to hold onto the spotlight for as long as he can. The Polar Phantasm previously known as Kid Phantasm, guess he needed a drug buddy to snort coke with. See Mr. Purse, you were never an important part of the equation, you were called and referred to yourself as the future but you were never really the anything now were you? In fact, that’s why I think your epitaph is quite appropriate. Let’s take a look at it here.

Price looks down at the epitaph.

Crowd: You suck! You suck! You suck!

Boomer Brown: Price really is full of himself isn’t he?

Eric Price: The epitaph reads, “Here lies Jeffrey Purse: A man who simply never was.”

Boomer Brown: And now a look of glee on Price’s face. He is loving every second of this.

Eric Price: Folks, let’s be serious here for a moment. Jeff Purse was a flash in the pan that did not deserve to be in WCF or in the wrestling business. I beat him for the WCF Television Title on our first encounter. When I challenged him about four months ago via Twitter for what was then his United States Championship, he flatly refused saying he was too good to face me and that he would beat me easily. Talk about foot in your mouth. I not only beat him once, I gave him the rematch he had to beg me for and even put his slut who actually puts out for anyone and everyone up to give me a kiss and I beat him again and retained my title. Then he decided he wasn’t going to honor his end of the bargain when Kari Kendall decided to spit the mouthwash in my face. Let’s take a look at the footage of what happened.

Boomer Brown: This two weeks ago on WCF’s Sunday Night Slam in what was an appalling scene.

Footage is shown of Eric Price hitting Kari with the steel chair. Then Purse coming to her aid nailing Price a few times. Price narrates the footage.

Eric Price: Look at this, I hit her with a steel chair but here comes the night in shining armor, he thinks he will save his beloved. But no, my security does what I instructed them, what I PAID them to do and restrains that hooligan from stopping the deal. I then decide to show him what being a real man is about and here we go, chair shot after chair shot, YES! But I told him I would complete our deal and complete it I would. With Purse almost out, I made sure he watched as I forced his girlfriend to kiss me right in the lips, and what a magical kiss it was. Yes, the kiss seen round the world it has been termed and with good reason. I then decided to hit her with the chair a few times for Purse to watch as I would not allow such wanton disrespect of our deal to go unpunished for I am a man of honor. And the pièce de resistance, Purse busted open and I finish it off by hitting him with a microphone on the head. I wanted him to understand who the man is in WCF and that is me, yours truly Mr. Eric Price. And because of me, you will never, ever see those two pieces of trash in WCF ever again!

Crowd: You suck! You suck! You suck!

Boomer Brown: This crowd getting louder and angrier at Price but he’s just reveling in this moment.

Eric Price: Now with that said, I would like to take this opportunity to end Jeff Purse’s tenure. Let’s take a moment of silence here for Mr. Jeff Purse in honor of all he’s done for WCF, which is nothing really. But let it not be said that I am without compassion, I will give him this moment of silence to quell my critics. So please.

Boomer Brown: Price putting his head down as the crowd only boos him louder.

Eric Price: Now damn it! I said we were going to honor him so shut your traps! And I know in the South, especially down here in the Bayou with y’all ethnic folk who can’t quite comprehend the English language, it’s hard for you to follow instructions but do like your ancestors did, sit down, shut up, and do what your superior tells you!

Crowd: You’re a bitch! You’re a bitch! You’re a bitch!

Boomer Brown: He’s really inciting them now.

Eric Price: Now please, a moment of silence in honor of Jeff Purse’s career.

Boomer Brown: This crowd even more over him but Price is going through with it. Price putting his head down but wait a minute. The crowd is cheering, who’s in the crowd. Hey wait, from out of nowhere, that’s Kari Kendall with a steel chair. Price has his eyes closed and head down. Kari slides into the ring and oh my God, a chair shot right to the back of the head of Mr. Eric Price. My God, and Price is down as the crowd loves her for it.

Crowd: Thank you Kari! Thank you Kari! Thank you Kari!

Kari: Hey Price, when you wake up, on behalf of Jeff Purse and Kari Kendall, f*(beep)* you you stupid piece of s*(beep)*.

Boomer Brown: Kari really dropping the bombshell here. But wait, another chairshot to the back of Eric Price, and another. An what’s this, Kari, oh my, Kari kicking Price right in the grapefruits! Price really in pain now but it’s sweet retribution for his heinous assault two weeks ago.

Buford Pine: This is why women should never be allowed on television. Female on male violence. First we gave them the right to vote, then the right to wear pants, and now this, this is ridiculous!

Boomer Brown: Oh shut up!

“Won’t Back Down” by Eminem plays on the speaker system.

Boomer Brown: Well Kari making a real statement here tonight that she is not gone from the business as Price is still down in the ring. She is making her way to the backstage area with a very serious look on her face but she definitely got her point across tonight.

Buford Pine: No comment.

Boomer Brown: Price is starting to come to a little as he holds his head as well as his fellas in pain. He has to defend his Television Title here tonight, the question is will he be at 100% tonight after this incident. We’ll have to wait and see. Uh.. we're getting word from backstage that Lucien Hicks has an interview with Nightmare! To you, Lucien-

[Cut to backstage at the GEW Arena, where sure enough Renegade Reporter Lucien Hicks has a very angry Lady of Rage in his presence.]

Lucien: Nightmare, we were all shocked by what happened a few minutes ago in the Deathmatch Title match... not to ask a stupid question here, but- what do you do now? Nathan von Liebert is GEW's Deathmatch Champion, and he's marked you-

[Nightmare snatches the microphone.]

Nightmare: You quit too soon, von Liebert- you should've killed me. You should've killed me... like I would've killed you. This isn't a battle anymore, this is a war... and we're not taking you prisoner. Next time we meet, Nathan... next time I see you I'm gonna wash your filth off of me in a bath of your blood. I'm gonna make you or Vlad or whoever the fuck you are wish you'd stayed in the nut-house. I'm gonna slit your fucking throat, von Liebert.

[She pushes the microphone back to Lucien and storms off. A second later, a frightened-looking Polar Phantasm walks into view and shrugs.]

Phantasm: So I married a future murderer... what else is new?

[The Phantasm chases his wife off screen. Lucien laughs.]

Lucien: I shouldn't laugh at that, but... hey, it's already been a long and dark night. I guess my sense of humor has followed suit... back to you, Boomer.

[We cut back to the ring, where the crew has finished dismantling the ring decorations.]

Boomer: Wow... fans, it's already been an epic night here at Shoot to Thrill-

Richard Vranch: Fans, I regret to inform you.. due to travel related circumstances beyond our control, The Misfits members of Johnny Stylez, Ryan Pugh, and Kief will NOT be at Shoot to Thrill.

[The fans boo, naturally. A chant of 'THIS IS BULL-SHIT' goes up.]

Boomer Brown: Well fans, this nine man match just became a six man match.

Buford Pine: Aw damn, I like that Kief guy! I was lookin' forward to seein' him here in GEW.

Richard Vranch: INTRODUCING FIRST, they are former WCF Tag Team Champions. They are Tek, Steeltoe Joe, and Hank Lane. THEY.. ARE.. PPRROOPPHHEECCYY!

["Faith" by Limp Bizkit hits and the fans come alive as Tek, Joe and Hank step out from the back. They head to the ring, nodding to the fans as they slide in. Each man climbs a turnbuckle and raises their arms.]

Boomer Brown: These three have made big strides over in WCF in the past few months. A win here over the Church of Dark Saints would be huge.

Buford Pine: Almost as huge as that Kief fella!

Richard Vranch: Introducing next, their opponents... representing THE CHURCH OF DARK SAINTS.... they are Andrew Warhawk, Zombie McMorris, and FAMINE. OF. THE. VIIIIIIIIIIILEE!

[Almost unintelligible whispers come over the PA system... the sound of whispers, signalling the beginning of "Jesus Built My Hot rod" by Ministry. As the song truly begins, in its usual epic fashion, the curtain parts and out comes the tag team of The Reign of Terror. Andrew Warhawk steps forth wearing crimson liturgical robes and clutching his 'Book of Dark Times' as if guarding it with his very own soul. Behind Warhawk, walks out Zombie McMorris, all jacked up and ready for combat. As the 'Dark Church' "enforcers" continue walking, a few steps behind is a procession of the faithful, emerging from backstage. Famine of the Vile himself comes out shortly thereafter. The Vixens come out next, dressed in white on white habits spotted with what appears to be blood. McMorris slides into the ring, leaping to a turnbuckle and pumping his fist to the crowd... Warhawk carefully places his book in one corner of the ring and then carefully climbs inside to join his tag team partner. Famine of the Vile slides under the bottom ring rope and proceeds to go to another corner of the ring, where he climbs up to the second turnbuckle and roars out. The Church members lock eyes with their opponents as Warhawk begins chanting the opposition's 'last rites'.]

Buford Pine: I'm scared, Boomer. Real scared.

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PROPHECY vs. CHURCH OF DARK SAINTS vs. MISFITS(?)
Referee: James Beard

Boomer: The bell sounds and just like every other match on tonight's card, it is chaos! Warhawk and Joe begin to brawl, Lane and McMorris, and Famine and Tek! Each man rocks the other with several punches back and forth. Joe runs at Warhawk and Clotheslines him over the top, sending both men flying out, much to the ringside fans' delight. Meanwhile, Lane hits a picture perfect Dropkick, sending McMorris stumbling back and over the ropes to the outside. Lane backs up and as McMorris stumbles up, Hank Lane hits a SUICIDE DIVE between the ropes!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT!

Boomer: I don't think we've ever seen Hank Lane do a Suicide Dive before! These men are-

Buford: THEY'RE SHOOTING TO THRILL, BOOMER!

Boomer: Wow. How long did it take you to think of THAT one? Famine throws Tek to the ropes, but Tek reverses it. He telegraphs a Back Bodydrop, however; Famine kicks him in the chest and hits an Angel's Wings! He quickly pins Tek. One. Two. No!, Tek gets the arm up!

Buford: Ain't gonna pin Tek that easily. By the way, the fans can pick up a replica Tek's mask at our merch booth for the low low price of 49.99! And don't worry, it don't make ya evil.

Boomer: Famine picks Tek up but Tek hits him with a Jawbreaker, sending him stumbling back. He then takes him down with a Swinging Reverse STO! Turtles! Tek loves Turtles! Afterwards, Tek hits an amazing Standing 450 Splash! The crowd OOOOH's as it results in a pin! One! Two! No! Famine kicks out.

Buford: Damn!

Boomer: Tek has recently added a lot of moves to his arsenal, I've noticed. Tek picks Famine up and goes to throw him to the turnbuckle but Famine reverses it, sending Tek into them instead. Famine then runs at him and hits a Clothesline, smashing Tek between his own body and the ring post. He hits Tek with several chops.

Buford: Hold on, Boomer, take a look at Joe and Warhawk!

Boomer: Joe and Warhawk have begun to fight up the ramp! Where are THEY going? Steeltoe Joe hits Andrew Warhawk with several forearms to the head and then bangs Warhawk's face into the Shoot to Thrill entranceway. Warhawk's nose begins bleeding. He stumbles away and right into Joe's arms, who grabs him and hits a huge BELLY TO BELLY, SENDING WARHAWK FLYING OVER THE GUARDRAIL AND INTO SOME FANS!

Buford: That there is gonna be a lawsuit for sure!

Boomer: Joe climbs over the guardrail and picks Warhawk up, brawling with him amongst a rabid crowd. Back to the action IN the ring: Tek has taken back control and has Famine up on the turnbuckle. Tek climbs up with him and positions him for a Superplex, but suddenly Zombie McMorris gets back into the ring. He positions himself to Powerbomb Tek.

Buford: Uh oh... Lane is in the ring now too, standing behind all of them!

Boomer: Simultaneously, McMorris Powerbombs Tek as Tek Superplexes Famine of the Vile!, and as Famine comes down, Lane intercepts his body and- OH MY GOD! Backcracker!

[The fans are standing and giving these fierce competitors quite an ovation]

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

[All four of them are down, holding their different aching body parts.]

Boomer Brown: This is anybody's match now!

["Cold" by Crossface hits AND THE CROWD GOES NUTS!]

Buford Pine: DID YOU SAY ANYBODY'S!?

Boomer Brown: THE MISFITS HAVE ARRIVED IN GEW! Kief, Stylez and Pugh all run full speed into the ring and begin stomping on the members of the Church of Dark Saints and Prophecy! Pugh picks up Tek and throws him to Stylez, who takes him down with the Heartbreak Hit, a Codebreaker. Kief has a greasy french fry container he uses to apply a Mandible Claw to Famine of the Vile! Now this is just ridiculous.

Buford Pine: That's what Shoot to Thrill is all about, Boomer!

Boomer: Pugh and Kief pick up McMorris next and throw him towards Stylez. Stylez hits him with a Spinebuster!, into a snap Walls of Jericho! He calls that the Demoralizer! Could the Misfits be stealing this one!? McMorris yells in pain, doing his best not to tap. Pugh gets down in his face, yelling at him... and he spits out a blood red mist right into Pugh's face!

Buford Pine: Ew!

Boomer: Pugh claws at his face, blinded, stumbles into the ropes and falls out of the ring. Tek is up and he starts clubbing Kief in the back. The distraction was enough that McMorris manages to escape Stylez's move. McMorris stumbles to his feet and Stylez hits him with an X Factor! All hell has broken loose... just like we knew that it would. Meanwhile, believe it or not, Joe and Warhawk have brawled all the way into a concession stand. Joe grabs a full soda can and smashes it into Warhawk's head. Warhawk shrugs it off, however, and then ducks a Clothesline attempt from Joe. Warhawk picks Joe up onto his shoulders!

Buford: What strength! God damn, I don't believe it!

Boomer: Andrew Warhawk hits a Death Valley Driver on Joe, through the concession stand! That thing is made of METAL!, Joe might be dead.

[The fans nearby once more chant "HOLY SHIT!"]

Boomer: In the ring, Kief suddenly felt a million hotdogs crying out in agony. His distraction gives Tek the opportunity to hit his Dancefloor Shredder on him!

Buford: Tek takes that huge time travelling man down!

Boomer: Warhawk and Steeltoe Joe are both down a good ways away from the fight here- Hank Lane is brawling with Zombie McMorris, and... where did Famine go? Famine of the Vile is outside fighting off Ryan Pugh AND LA Kief here... Pugh grabs Famine from behind... MOUTHFUL OF KIEF! Kief with that superkick! Cover on the outside- 1...2...3?! The Church has been eliminated!

Richard Vranch: The Church of Dark Saints has been eliminated!

Buford: Somebody should tell Warhawk he's out of this one!

Boomer: I'm pretty sure he gave up on this one a while ago, Buford- he got the fight he wanted, as he's taking Steeltoe Joe to the extreme across the damn arena from this brawl! Zombie McMorris gets a parting shot in on Hank Lane, tossing him over the top rope with a press slam... and now the two remaining members of Prophecy should be easy pickings for the late-coming Misfits team! HOLY SHIT HERE COMES TEK!

Buford: Tek just crash landed on top of the Misfits like a 747 into a skyscraper!

Boomer: That's... terrible, but accurate as hell. Tek took out the whole pile of Misfits with that suicidal plancha, but is it too little too late to save Prophecy in this match? Hank Lane is back up now, and he knocks down the gigantic Ryan Pugh with a short-arm clothesline... look out Hank! Johnny Stylez grabs Hank Lane from behind, flipping him up and- CURTAIN JERKER! Reverse suplex stunner on Thunder Lane, and this should be academic- 1...2...3! THE MISFITS DID IT!

Richard Vranch: Prophecy has been eliminated! Your winners of the match... THE MISFITS!!!

Boomer: Now THAT'S what I call Pandemonium, fans! I'm getting word from backstage that Steeltoe Joe and Andy Warhawk are both alright following that Death Valley Driver through the concession stands, but Warhawk or his church one or the other will owe the GEW Arena for damages...

Buford: I don't think the Church will care, Boomer, especially if Oblivion wins that big main event match tonight.

Boomer: The Misfits almost didn't make the show tonight but ended up pulling out a big win here tonight at Shoot to Thrill... and we'll be back in a few minutes with the match we've all been waiting for: Waylon Cash vs. Steve Orbit!!!

[Boomer Brown]

[The opening trumpet riff of "White Trash Renegade blares over the PA systems as red and orange strobe lights flash. Suddenly the strobes stop, and Waylon Cash comes running out onto the entrance ramp. He runs back and forth, illiciting cheers from the crowd on either side before dancing his way towards the ring, Roxxanne Savage following behind him. Sliding under the bottom rope, Waylon helps his manager in, before running and jumping onto the second turnbuckle. He raises his fist hig in the air, soaking up the cheering of the fans.]

Boomer Brown: Back here at the GEW Arena, it's the second half of our action-packed Shoot to Thrill card... and what better way to kick this off than with a match between two of WCF's finest up-and-comers?!

["Flashlight" by Parlaiment Funkadellic plays o ver the PA. The arena goes dark and a pink strobe light flashes throughout the arena. Small pink lights swirl around the crowd and the entire arena and eventually converge into one big pink spotlight as "The Mack" Steve Orbit and Golden Joey appear at the top of the aisle. Steve walks ahead of Golden Joey, talking to fans who mostly cheer him on-- however, he does occasionally offend a girl or two with his sometimes rude, sexual comments. At ringside he begins the process of taking off whatever pimp attire he is wearing that night, whether its a mink coat, designer suit, etc and always hands his gold chains and his hat to Golden Joey. His in-ring attire consists of black spandex shorts with "Pimpin" on the back in pink, and pink boots. He has a body that resembles a model more than a wrestler, he is perfectly chiseled and cut, but he is not huge and muscular like some wrestlers. He continues to flirt with the girls in the crowd as he enters the ring, showing off his body and blowing kisses. The crowd goes bananas when he hits the ring, as OR-BIT chants are heard all over the arena.]

Buford Pine: Two men headed for big things in pro wrestlin', both familiar to GEW and its fans... and this arena. Should be a great one. A real classic.

Richard Vranch: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! First, in the corner to my left... weighing in at 230 lbs and hailing from Macon, Georgia... he is a former WCF World Champion... ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the returning WAYLON CASH!!!

Boomer: And you can hear the crowd's approval for the Hellbilly-

Buford: 100% All-American badass. Cash damn near killed Hooligan of Urban Decay and he wasn't even mad at the man- imagine what we might see go down here tonight!

Richard Vranch: And his opponent, in the corner to my right... weighing in at 240 lbs and hailing from Oakland, California... he is the WCF United States Champion... please welcome the returning STEVE ORBIT!!!

[The crowd's cheers of 'WEL-COME BACK' are tremendous. Cash takes a second to salute the crowd... Orbit turns to the crowd and raises both hands repeatedly in an encouraging motion.]

Boomer: There's the bell and we're off and running!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

STEVE ORBIT vs. WAYLON CASH
Referee: Philip Pregeant

Boomer: The two men approach the center of the ring and lock up. Cash with a go-behind, Orbit elbows free and into a side headlock. Cash pushes him to the ropes, and drops down. Orbit up and over, off the ropes again, and into a back body drop from Cash! Orbit is back up, Cash flies at him with a forearm which Orbit blocks! Orbit with a kick to the knee, headbutt, ENZIGURI! Cash is down on the mat.

Buford: Just what I expected- these two got more chain-wrestler to 'em than we'd thought.

Boomer: As Waylon starts to get up, Steve strikes a pose. The Crane is alive in New Orleans! Waylon catches the foot! Waylon pulls him in, slips under, and boom! Sitout neckbreaker! Orbit bounces off the shoulder of Waylon. He thinks that's it. Waylon grabs Orbit and butterflies the arms. He's going for the Killshot! Steve blocks, spins out, spinning backfist! DUCKED! Waylon ducks the spinning backfist and followed with a springboard back elbow surprising Steve! Waylon to the top, looking for his flying headbutt! HE MISSES! Orbit moves out of the way!

Buford: These two are very evenly matched.

Boomer: You can say that ag- Orbit pulls Cash to his feet and throws him to the turnbuckle! Steve runs in with a knee to the midsection. Cash fights out of the corner with a big elbow to the face, attacking Orbit with a bodyslam, and then an elbow drop. Cash with a pin!

1!

2!

Boomer: Nooo, Orbit kicks out. He's not even close to done yet. Cash pulls Orbit to his feet and whips him to the ropes- BIG SPINEBUSTER! Cash locks in a Boston Crab, bending Steve almost in half. A few seconds pass, when Orbit figures out he can't reach the ropes, he picks the ankle and sends Cash off him, then rolls him up in a small package!

1!

2!

Boomer: Noooooo Cash kicks out!

Buford: This one might need a photo finish, Boom!

Boomer: Both men back to their feet and Cash with a big clothesline taking Steve back down. After earlier even ground, Cash is opening it up. He hops to the middle rope and comes down with a knee to the chest. Cash gloats to the crowd, and eats a kick to the shin! Steve Orbit isn't down yet! Steve fights his way to his feet and suplex! Holds on, turns, another suplex! He does it again and this time throws Waylon stomach first onto the top rope. Off the ropes, kick to the side of the head! Waylon lands on the apron, and is followed by Orbit. Steve goes for a suplex on the apron but Cash reverses and lands in the ring, he picks Orbit up but HE reverses and lands in the ring too! Steve Cash, whole holding the suplex, picks Cash up and dumps him over the top rope BUT WAYLON HOLDS ON! BOTH FLING OVER THE TOP ROPE AND LAND ON THE FLOOR!

["The Toys Go Winding Down" by Primus hits the PA as the crowd begins booing loudly. The referee looks to the top of the ramp, violently waving his arms from side to side in a negative gesture. Two young men, one with slicked hair and one with spiked hair, come out from backstage... one of them is holding a microphone.]

Boomer: And what are THESE two jerks doing here?

Buford: Just like the Egomaniacs to ruin a decent wrestling match.

Michael Dugas: Now isn't this a sad state- look at how BORED this crowd is!

[Crowd begins chanting 'YOU'VE GOT HER-PES']

Boomer: Sometimes I am very, very proud of this crowd.

Michael Dugas: Oh, ha-ha. Very funny, you liars- there's no need to pretend! We know you love us! We're your hero and your role model!

[Orbit and Cash, seemingly in a temporary truce, both climb back into the ring to size up the intruders. Dugas passes the mic to Brandon Richards.]

Brandon Richards: My uncle Ricky always says the greatest talent in the wrestling world comes out of GEW, and when he says that I know... he means us. So we're gonna do you two WCF jabronis a favor tonight- we're gonna give you a chance to wrestle some REAL talent!

[Orbit and Cash look to one another, then both signal for the Egomaniacs to 'bring it'. The crowd goes wild as GEW's resident narcissists rush the ring...]

Boomer: ...and I guess this has become a tag match! Michael Dugas and Brandon Richards rush Waylon and Steve, but they duck. The Egomaniacs bounce off the ropes into double spinebusters! To the extent of Orbit slamming Dugas down first and Cash slamming Doering onto Dugas! With the men stackes up, Steve comes off the middle rope with an elbow drop, crushing both of them! Richards is pulled off and to his feet by Waylon, who throws him to a corner. Calling for a chair and getting it is Waylon Cash. Orbit has Dugas up and BOOM chair to the fucking skull! Cash swung for the fences and got it. Doering sees this, rushes Cash who back body drops him into Orbit, POWERBOMBS RICHARDS TO THE MAT! Just total destruction by Waylon Cash and Steve Orbit, as the crowd in the GEW Arena applaud.

Buford: We might be seein' somethin' special here, Boomer-

Boomer: You're right on that- Orbit and Cash are dangerous alone, but together they're likely to kill these two jackasses! Waylon takes the chair and sets it up. He then pulls Dugas up and sits him on it, signaling for Orbit to go to the top. As he does, Cash climbs the corner in the diagonal direction. A nod later and they're both in the air, DOUBLE DROPKICKS TO MICHAEL DUGAS AS HE SITS IN THE CHAIR! NOWHERE TO GO BUT IMPLODING ON HIMSELF! He's fucking done for. No way he can even move. Brandon Richards is up and kinda sees what happened. Orbit clubs him from behind, Waylon with a suplex onto the open chair crumbling it to the mat!

Buford: I hadn't seen a spankin' this bad since last time I had my nephews for a weekend.

Boomer: Steve has slid outside the ring and retrieved a table... and the crowd's loving this! Steve Orbit's taking it to the extreme with a GEW staple! Slides it in to Waylon, who sets it up. Richards is laid on it, while Dugas is sit on the turnbuckle.

Buford: This don't look good for them Egomaniac boys, not one bit.

Boomer: Steve Orbit and Waylon Cash climb up to the middle rope, both standing on either side of Brandon Richards.. DOUBLE SUPLEX PUTS RICHARDS THROUGH DUGAS THROUGH THE TABLE! HOLY SHIT! Cover- 1...2...3! And it's over.

Richard Vranch: Your winners of the match... the team of STEVE ORBIT AND WAYLON CASH!!!

Boomer: This crowd is losing its mind for this team... you've gotta wonder what sort of damage these two would do together with any degree of planning or preparation-

Buford: Or any notice, for that matter!

Boomer: We'll be right back after this- don't go anywhere, Shoot to Thrill continues next with the WCF Internet Title match!

[Boomer Brown]

Boomer Brown: We're back here at Shoot to Thrill where it's time for the-

[“Night on Bald Mountain” begins to play over the PA, and the GEW crowd lets out a loud sound of disapproval. They scream, and throw garbage at the entrance ramp, as Scott Savage appears. He smiles at the hateful reaction for a moment. He closes his eyes, silently conducting the symphony of his own entrance music in his head. The music slowly dies, but the booing does not, as Scott climbs into the ring.]

Buford Pine: Man, isn't this guy sick of himself yet?

Boomer: I guess it's not enough to interrupt WCF shows... he's gotta come interrupt a GEW show, too. Hey, I guess this is what we get inviting the WCF guys in here-

Buford: You pays your money, you takes your chances.

Scott Savage: First of all, let me say that I was absolutely shocked when my client told me of his intentions to make his debut in this shit hole, in front of you uncultured, inbred swine. It blows my mind that he would choose to premier himself in this filthy ring, under these two-dollar lights. Honestly, if you people think this is good entertainment, you probably quite enjoy fornicating with your siblings... for those of you that do not speak English... I just called you a bunch of sister fuckers.

[The crowd screams for his head, as he throws it back in laughter.]

Scott Savage: You know what? I have to make an executive decision here, and deny my clients request to-

MURDERRRRRR CLIMB ABOARD THE MURDER TRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIN!!!!

[Hardcore McMurderkill steps out form behind the curtain, as a small section of the GEW fans pop for him. In one hand, he carries a microphone, in the other a steel folding chair. HE raises the mic to his lips, as his music dies down.]

Hardcore McMurderkill: Scott, I, just like these fans, am tired of you teasing the debut of your client. You can't even decide what fuckin' gender they are! Here's the thing, WCF may not think I'm worth much, but I'm what GEW is all about. Blood, sweat, tables... that's Hardcore McMurderkill all the way! Now, I know you used to be a wrestler, so I'm gonna give you a chance to see if you still got it.

[Scott Savage rolls his eyes, and slowly removes his red suit jack. As Hardcore continues his speech, the manager rolls the sleeves up on his jet black shirt.]

Hardcore McMurderkill: You and I, we're gonna have a match, and it's gonna be a hardcore match. I'm gonna take you out, before your client ever debuts. How's that sounds, ya creepy son of a bitch?

[Even more of the fans get behind Hardcore, as he stands on the ramp with a grin. Scott chuckles.]

Scott Savage: I have been retired for two years Hardcore... what could you possibly have to gain by beating me? I am just a broken down, old manager now. But... if you insist... I will fight you.

Boomer: Scott tosses the mic to ringside, as Hardcore slides under the bottom rope... Scott immediately begins stomping on his back. Out of nowhere, a referee runs in, and signals for the bell to ring. Wait, the bell?! Scott Savage is a manager! This match shouldn't be happening!

Buford Pine: But Scott still has his wrestling license, so it's perfectly legal, and awesome! What Hardcore doesn't know is that Scott Savage has always thrived in a no holds barred environment.

Boomer: Scott lifts McMurderkill, and whips him into the ropes, before hitting him with a high back drop. He lands hard, but doesn't have a lo of time for the pain, as Scott lifts him again. Savage grabs the chair Hardcore brought with, and slams it against the side of his head. McMurderkill stumbles backwards, and goes limp against the corner. Scott stomps over to him, and lifts the man into a crucifix position. He hold him there for a few moments, before tossing him into the air, and across the ring. Hardcore comes down hard on the chair, and falls unconscious. Scott quickly goes for the pin. 1! 2! 3! Well, that was quick.

[Scott grabs the microphone, and immediately begins to speak.]

Scott Savage: See!? It doesn't matter who I bring!! What you should fear... is ME!

[Savage drops the microphone, and leaves the lifeless Hardcore McMurderkill in the ring.]

Boomer: Wow- what the hell is with this guy?!

Buford: Satan, Boomer. Satan is with this guy.

Boomer: ...well, that's a new one at least- wait, we're getting word that Lucien Hicks has Steve Orbit and Waylon Cash backstage! Cut to Lucien, cut to Lucien!

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[When we cut backstage, we see Lucien Hicks standing between Orbit and Cash, both still hype from their unexpected team victory. The crowd, at the sight of the pair on screen, goes crazy for their impromptu team-up... after a few moments of soaking up the fan reaction, both men realize at the same time- ]

Waylon Cash: Hell, we never finished our scheduled one-on-one match!

Steve Orbit: We sure didn't...

[They begin eyeing each other, each waiting for the other to make a move.]

Lucien Hicks: Gentlemen! Come on, you two, that moment passed already. We're in the 'post-match' interview now. Post means after- save it for the ring, alright? Now, about that- quite an unexpected result, wouldn't you say? What started as one of the most anticipated singles matches of the night turned into a WCF versus GEW tag match... as we always say, anything can, and usually does, happen here at Global Extreme Wrestling. First of all, I'd like to congratulate you both on your victory as a tag team!

[The crowd pops.]

Lucien Hicks: So, I guess I'm here to ask you guys... what now?

[Orbit takes the mic from Lucien.]

Steve Orbit: What now? Me and Waylon got unfinished business, and I say we finish it.

[The crowd pops again. Waylon takes the mic from Orbit.]

Waylon Cash: I agree with the Mack. We came here to fight... we came here to see who's the best. I think we owe it to each other-- and to all the fans-- to finish our match right here, right now!

[The crowd goes nuts. Lucien takes the mic back from Waylon.]

Lucien Hicks: Unfortunately, you guys are done! Time limit's up, so..

Orbit and Waylon: WHAT?

[The crowd boos. Orbit and Waylon look pissed.]

Lucien Hicks: I know, I know... but we've only got so much show, and you guys've already had your time in the ring, right? Look at it this way- you guys came out here and kicked ass in the name of WCF. I'm sure that earned you guys both a lot of respect--

[Both Orbit and Cash notice something distracting behind Lucien... when WCF's Renegade Reporter turns, he sees his old friends the Mothership Connection coming over wearing the GEW Tag Team Titles.]

Cornelius Casanova: Yo, hold up- help me out, y'all... did Steve Orbit and Waylon Cash just whoop some ass or what? Were we watchin' a different show or some shit? 'Cause that shonuf looked like y'all two took them two punks to school.

Emerald Prince: Couldn't have done it better ourselves. Bout time them two bitches got pimpslapped...

Cornelius: Mm-hmm. An' planted six feet deep!

Lucien Hicks: Yeah, they did... you guys saw that, huh? Like I was telling these two, that was some amazing teamwork for two guys who-

Prince: Sheeiit, that was some good from damn near anybody!

Cornelius: See, when me an' Prince was watchin' backstage, we said to each other... Prince, what did we say to each other?

Prince: We said them two makin' one HELL of a team.

Cornelius: Right, right... so what I'm sayin' is, why stop here? Why don't y'all put the bullshit aside, leave the pride alone, and jus' form a fuckin' team?

[The crowd pops huge. HUGE.]

Waylon Cash: A tag team? With Steve Orbit? I don't know about that. I mean, we DID just kick the shit out of the Egomaniacs, but...

Steve Orbit: Nuh-uh. No fuckin' way. The Mack ain't fuckin' with tag teams no more. First Odin, then Scoutmaster last week... yo, tag teams is bad for my health, straight up.

Lucien Hicks: Pardon the interruption, but... I gotta tell you Steve, Waylon Cash is a better man than Odin Balfore AND a better man than Stuart Slane.

[The crowd pops. Some "OR-BIT-CASH" chants are heard.]

Lucien Hicks: Maybe you've just had shitty luck with partners so far.

Cornelius: That's what I'm sayin', man. Waylon Cash is a good dude, and Mack, you a good dude. And the way y'all just handled y'all business... chemistry is chemistry, dig?

Prince: Listen my brothers, things happen for a reason. There's always a bigger plan, a bigger picture.

Cornelius: All I'm sayin' is, think about it. When you get home, watch the tape-- watch y'all mother fuckers in action together. You'll see what we saw.

Lucien Hicks: Well, guys?

[Orbit and Cash look at each other... after a moment, they shake hands, followed by a brief hug. The crowd pops huge.]

Cornelius: Now that's what I'm talkin' bout, right there.

Prince: Yeah, brah- that's the word.

[As Lucien stares, too dumbfounded to express his surprise, we cut back to the announce position.]

Boomer: I don't believe it! Is this the beginnings of the newest WCF tag team, happening right here in GEW?!

Buford: I think I'd call that team the 'Mack Truckers'.

Boomer: ...but Cash isn't a trucker, Buford- he's a farmer.

Buford: Hell, I bet if you asked them two jerks the Egomaniacs right about now they'd swear they just got run over by an 18-wheeler.

[“Follow Me, Boys!” plays as Stu marches out from the back, silently mouthing the lyrics to his theme as he heads down the ramp. But as he's walking down the ramp, from his blind side comes Johnny Stylez!]

Boomer: We're ready for the Internet Title match here between- what the hell?! After that hard fought victory earlier tonight, Stylez is here again! What the hell is this about?

Buford: Stylez is just going bananas on Stuart Slane right now! The match hasn't even started yet-

Boomer: And it looks like Stylez is getting a little backup! Here comes Tommy Kain, who we'll see later in the Television Title match...

[Indeed, from out the curtains comes Tommy Kain, who nods at Johnny before walking over to Slane's body and lifting him up, setting him up for it...BLAM! TommyDriver right onto the entrance ramp! Not to long afterwards, Pugh makes HIS way out the entrance ramp, running full speed until leaping in the air and hitting the Big Pugh Splash on Stuart, who is at this point almost unconscious.]

Boomer: God damn! The Misfits are totally annihilating Stuart Slane right now! All because he was trash talking Ophelia on Twitter.

Buford: Not to mention Scoutmaster's claims of being the 'stable killer', Boomer! The Misfits are a very close knit group- mess with one of them, you messin' with all of them. Scouty said he'd shut them down and I guess they're puttin' him on notice that they're still in business!

Boomer: Hold up there, Buford, I see Kief comin' down the ramp!

[Kief appears from behind the curtains, and draws the attention of the other Misfits. In unison, Stylez, Kain and Pugh all lift up Slane and rest his body upright over the security baracade . Kief walks on over to join the other Misfits before targeting Slane. He backs up, sprints...]

BOOMER: MOUTHFUL OF KIEF! RIGHT INTO THE CROWD!

[Kief hits the superkick, sending Slane over the top and into the audience, who decide to let him land back first on the concrete. Knowing that Slane is out like a light, The Misfits go back through the curtains as if nothing happened.]

Buford: Boomer, remind me to never piss of the Misfits.

Boomer: Agreed. Fans, Stuart Slane's likely going to need medical attention here- that fall looked awkward as hell.

Buford: I guess ol' Scouty had better be prepared... for a visit to the spinal trauma ward!

Boomer: ...poor taste, but great timing, Buford! You're getting better at the understated horrible jokes. Fans, we're gonna take a short break for some commercials- buy our merchandise and help keep the GEW revolution going! We'll be back with the WCF Television Title match in two minutes- you're watching GEW's SHOOT TO THRILL!

[Boomer Brown]

[“Headstrong” by Trapt starts playing over the PA and the GEW Crowd gives a mixed reaction although more boos are heard than cheers.]

Boomer Brown: Back on Shoot to Thrill- coming up right now is the Television Title match!

[The song starts and the lights strobe as Kale Windsor steps out on the stage at the top of the ramp. Kale stands there for a moment, as if he's taking in all of the love in the area {he pays no mind to the boos, for he feels everyone loves him}. He casually walks down the ramp way towards the ring. Once at the ring he slides in under the ropes. He then stands in the middle of the ring as if he's king of the world while each ring post pops with pyros.]

Boomer Brown: Not exactly the usual reaction he has been receiving as of late but Kale Windsor’s type is not exactly beloved here in the South.

Buford: You can say that again, Boom. Pretty boys like this one? Hell, he'd get date raped in most honky tonks, this side of the Mason-Dixon.

["Fall Back Down" by Rancid plays over the PA.]

Boomer Brown: And here comes Tommy Kain in for this triple threat match!

[Tommy Kain makes his way down to the ring with a signature bottle of Evan Williams (Because Jack Daniels is for rednecks.) He gives the crowd a smirk that just screams, "Damn I know I'm better than you." Finally making his way to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and sitting in one of the corners taking a drink or two from his pre-match bottle of booze.]

Buford Pine: I like this guy already!

Boomer: Other than his appearance a few minutes ago in that orchestrated dismantling of Stuart Slane, Tommy Kain has made one other visit to the GEW Arena... in fact, he's a bit famous in this building for being the only man in GEW's history to kick out of Kid... now Polar... Phantasm's finisher, the 'Ice Cap'!

Buford: Rough customer for sure.

[“You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell starts playing over the PA.]

Boomer Brown: And here comes a loathsome human being that we saw earlier tonight take a chair shot to the back of the head by Kari Kendall.

Buford Pine: This is why women shouldn’t be allowed to have equal rights!

[The crowd gets to their feet booing loudly as Eric Price saunters his way down to the ring with a smirk on his face looking down on everyone along with a small limp in his leg due to the chair shots earlier as he makes his way in slowly, the TV Title belt around his shoulder; he stands looking up at the ring, his two opponents already in there. He looks at them and the audience with disdain as he then makes his way toward the steps and slowly steps into the ring and leans in the corner turnbuckles as the referee stands in the center of the ring and ring announcer Richard Vranch makes his way to the center of the ring to introduce the competitors.]

Crowd: Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!

Boomer Brown: This crowd already all over Eric Price here tonight. He hasn’t made any friends here this evening although you have to wonder if he is 100% after those wicked chair shots earlier tonight.

Richard Vranch: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a falls count anywhere, no disqualification, triple threat elimination match for the WCF Television Championship! Introducing first to my right, standing at 6’ 2”, weighing in at 235 lbs., from Beverly Hills, CA, Kale Windsor!

Buford Pine: And again, a mixed reaction for this man.

Richard Vranch: To my left, standing also at 6’ 2”, weighing in at 228 lbs., from Indianapolis, Indiana, Tommy Kain!

Boomer Brown: A mixed reaction for this man tonight, more cheers than boos although that may have to do with the different audience we have tonight and this next man!

Buford Pine: The boos already raining down for him. No sign of respect for this man!

Richard Vranch: And to my right in the corner, standing at 6’ 4”, weighing in at 250 lbs., he is the current WCF Television Champion, from Pacific Palisades, CA, Mr. Eric Price!

Boomer Brown: Certainly not a favorable reaction at all for Eric Price this evening as a chorus of boos shower him. He holds that title up proudly though and he has to put it on the line tonight against two tough competitors but is he 100%? We will have to wait and see.

Buford Pine: Don’t underestimate this man. He is a certifiable genius!

Boomer Brown: Did he put you on the payroll to say that?

Buford Pine: No, but you think he would if I said it enough?

----------------------------------------------------------------
WCF TELEVISION TITLE MATCH
ERIC PRICE (c) vs. TOMMY KAIN vs. KALE WINDSOR
Referee: Mark Beever

Boomer Brown: And the match is underway!

[All three men circle each other. Out of nowhere, Eric Price reaches out and slaps TK right in the face! Windsor looks surprised, as does the crowd.]

Boomer Brown: I don’t know if that was a smart move by Price!

Buford Pine: TK looks mighty pissed though!

[TK immediately lunges at Price with a series of punches toward the face as Price tries to protect himself. Price knocked down and ultimately pushed out of the ring in front of the commentator's table.]

Boomer Brown: Price now here in front us as wait a minute, Windsor rolls up TK.

1 ..

Boomer Brown: And a kick out. Windsor trying to get the upset but TK is always aware of his surroundings, kicking out almost immediately and he definitely does not look happy. Both Windsor and TK up now as both men are looking to try and capture that TV Title.

Buford Pine: Last week, Windsor tried and failed against Price but let’s see if this week is better for him.

Boomer Brown: Well, TK punches Windsor, Windsor punches TK back, another shot to Windsor, another shot to TK and these men trying to see who is stronger here. TK seems to be getting the upper hand here, another shot, and another right hand to Windsor and TK pushes Windsor on the ropes. Windsor going back to the opposite side and oh no, TK meets Windsor with a clothesline, Windsor is down. And what’s Price doing, he’s up but he’s coming our way. Looks like he’s taking a seat and joining commentary.

Eric Price: Gentlemen gentlemen, how are you this evening?

Boomer Brown: You have a match going on Price, you know that right?

Eric Price: Absolutely but this is an elimination matchup. Yours truly Mr. Eric Price will sit back here, put my legs up on this announce desk and take a break until one of these two men remain, then I’ll step in and take care of business.

Buford Pine: Fancy havin’ you here Mr. Price, how are you doing?

Eric Price: Finally someone who shows me some respect, I’m doing very well tonight Mr. Pine, thank you.

[TK knocked Windsor down and notices Price is sitting at the commentators booth and starts screaming at him as he gets out of the ring.]

TK: Price, what are you doing? You’re in a title match!

Eric Price: I know that.

TK: Get your ass up and fight.

Eric Price: It’s an elimination match, when you’re done with Mr. Windsor, I’ll dispatch you.

Boomer Brown: TK getting awfully close here and looks mad at Price here for taking the easy way out. But Windsor sneaks in from behind and a hits the 90210 knocking TK down. Cover!

1 ..

2 ..

Eric Price: And looks like TK kicked out. Looks like he really wants my title doesn’t he?

[Windsor gets up and notices Price relaxing as a commentator.]

Boomer Brown: And looks like Kale Windsor has noticed you here as well Price.

Eric Price: Focus on your match Mr. Windsor.

Kale Windsor: What are you doing?

Eric Price: Don’t worry, focus on your match, I’ll face the winner of this.

[Windsor comes over and pulls the headset from Price as both men stare each other down. Windsor tries to set up Price for a DDT but Price reverses it and pushes Windsor right into the corner steel post.]

Buford Pine: And looks like things are going to get real interesting here now. We got blood spilling in this match as Windsor has been busted wide open from hitting that steel post. TK is still coming to.

Boomer Brown: Yes he is as TK notices Windsor is down.

[Price takes a seat again and puts his headset on.]

Eric Price: Sorry about that gentlemen, some people need to learn to respect me.

Buford Pine: I have to say, it is an honor to have you here with us tonight Mr. Price. You truly are a great man!

Boomer Brown: You’ll brownnose for that money won’t you?

Eric Price: Now now Mr. Brown, you should take note and learn from Mr. Pine here otherwise, you’ll continue being the poor simpleton you are today.

Boomer Brown: TK getting up now and goes for a cover on Windsor right outside the ring who seems to be out cold from hitting that steel post. Cover!

1 ..

2 ..

3!

Boomer Brown: And looks like Kale Windsor has been eliminated from this contest. That leaves you and TK Price.

Eric Price: I suppose I should get to work shouldn’t I?

[Price facing away from TK for a moment as he focuses on Boomer Brown but TK from behind ambushes Price and starts choking him with the headset chord.]

Boomer Brown: And oh my God, TK choking Price right now, you teach that lazy arrogant son of a bitch a lesson!

Buford Pine: This is crazy, TK really getting the upper hand here on Price. Price responding with some elbows to the gut of TK to force to him to let go of the choke.

Boomer Brown: And TK finally relents a bit as Price removes the headset and kicks TK in the gut, then oh no, a low blow to TK!

Eric Price: That’s it, I’ve had enough.

Boomer Brown: Had enough, what is Price talking about? This match isn’t over.

[Price walks over to the ring announcer’s area and demands his title.]

Buford Pine: Looks like Price is going to take a walk here tonight. He figures since it’s a no disqualification match, if he doesn’t lose, then he will retain.

Boomer Brown: Well, Price seemingly looks like he’s going to walk out of here with that title over his shoulder as he slowly walks around the ring here.

Crowd: You suck! You suck! You suck!

Eric Price: You people don’t deserve to see Eric Price here tonight so I’m outta here!

Buford Pine: Price screaming at this crowd but looks like TK is fighting through the pain here. He’s grabbing a steel chair as Price slowly is walking up the ramp not looking back.

Boomer Brown: TK running toward Price. TK looking to stop Price from leaving tonight and bam, hits a steel chair shot as Price did not see that coming. Price is down! Cover! Come on referee, get over there and count!

Buford Pine: Referee gets there and here we go.

1 ..

2 ..

Boomer Brown: But no, Price somehow manages to kick out of that one. If only the referee had been there immediately, we would have had a new Television Champion here tonight right now.

Buford Pine: But he didn’t.

Boomer Brown: Price showing the kind of man he is, a coward trying to leave here tonight before this match is over!

Buford Pine: TK not done and he starts lifting Price and dragging him back to the ring.

Boomer Brown: TK throws Price back into the ring as Price is still out of it seemingly. But I wouldn’t trust that man. TK raising his hand as the crowd cheers him for stopping Price from leaving this evening.

Crowd: Let’s go TK! Let’s go TK! Let’s go TK!

Buford Pine: TK is back in the ring now and approaches Price and wait, rollup!

1 ..

2 ..

Boomer Brown: And a kickout by TK. Price ever so crafty trying to steal a victory here tonight but TK I believe is far stronger than Price had estimated.

Buford Pine: Perhaps but never underestimate the genius of Eric Price. He is willing to do anything to win.

Boomer Brown: TK and Price are both up now and stare each other down with intent here. TK really wants Price’s title and is looking to really elevate his game here tonight by pinning a man who has been on a role as of late, Eric Price.

Buford Pine: That’s Mr. Eric Price.

Boomer Brown: He’s not putting you on the payroll, I’m telling you that right now.

Buford Pine: I can’t know that unless I try.

Boomer Brown: Nevertheless, TK starts throwing right hands at Price who is still somewhat out of it and tried to cower out of this tonight. Another right hand and another right hand to Price. And a clothesline to Price, Price is down!

Buford Pine: And now TK is really into it, the crowd loving every second of it and he does The Walk of Shame on Eric Price.

Boomer Brown: Price really hurting now on the canvas as TK is in control of this matchup. TK calling for it as he goes to the corner and the top rope.

Buford Pine: And yes, he nails The Morning After really hurting Price here. Cover!

1 ..

2 ..

Boomer Brown: But Price somehow manages to kick out of that! My God, he is resilient but TK is really taking it to Price here tonight who was just an instant away from losing his title! What a great matchup!

Buford Pine: As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right, Price is really being taken to his limit here tonight. TK is wondering what it’s going to take to beat this man!

Boomer Brown: Well, TK is really going to take it to him now as he looks to be setting him up for his trademark move, is he going to be able to do it however?

Buford Pine: He’s got it!

Boomer Brown: He nailed the Hoosier Hangover and he flipped Price over, Price has got to be done now. That’s it, new Television Champion! Cover!

1 ..

2 ..

Buford Pine: Oh my God, Price kicks out! How did he manage to do that?!

Boomer Brown: TK is in absolute shock, he is in firm control of this matchup and yet somehow, Price still managed to kick out of the Hoosier Hangover! Guess there is a reason he is the Television Champion! But TK is definitely proving he is not competition to be taken lightly as Price is barely hanging on by a thread.

Buford Pine: I think TK is going to really try and finish him off here. TK trying to get Price up but Price, oh no, Price rolls TK up here. Cover!

1 ..

Boomer Brown: Price using the ropes for leverage but the referee doesn’t see it!

2 ..


3!

Boomer Brown: And Price lets go and quickly rolls out of the ring and makes his way up the ramp where he takes a breather as he stole a victory tonight!

Buford Pine: TK arguing with the official but everyone knows if he didn’t see it, it’s not illegal!

Crowd: Bullshit! Bullshit! You suck! You suck!

Boomer Brown: But that was ridiculous. TK had this matchup won and for Price to steal it like that is absolutely wrong! A great matchup that will be tarnished forever by the crafty Price who felt the title slipping from his grasp! And this crowd really letting Price have it as the chorus of boos is ever louder!

Buford Pine: All the newspapers will say “Price – Winner, TK – Loser”, it’s that simple!

Boomer Brown: You may be right as Price grabs his title, which was left on the entrance ramp and coddles the title. TK had that title almost won and Price knows it. He had to resort to desperate measures tonight to retain it but congratulations to TK for putting on a hell of a matchup and really taking Price to the limit but I doubt this will shut him up. Price barely victorious over both Kale Windsor and Tommy Kain here tonight but more challenges no doubt await him and I wouldn’t be surprised if a rematch came up between these two as the contest was extremely close and ended under dubious circumstances.

Buford Pine: Well I guess if Kain wants a rematch he'll just have to take it up with Eric Price's many, many lawyers.

Boomer Brown: ...or maybe just Seth Lerch! We'll be back momentarily with the first half of our double main event- the return to action of Jay Price, in a CLOCKWORK ORANGE HOUSE OF FUN MATCH... against GEW legend the Polar Phantasm! Do not adjust your sets, fans- you're watching Global Extreme Wrestling on the biggest night in our company's history, SHOOT TO THRILL!

[Boomer Brown]

POLAR PHANTASM VS JAY PRICE - CLOCKWORK ORANGE HOUSE OF FUN MATCH
Referee: Skippy Whippleganger


Buford: My god I still can't believe that this match is going to happen.

Boomer: Many thought it would be months, maybe even a year, before we saw Jay Price in a ring again. But somehow, almost if by miracle, Jay Price is going one on one with Polar Phantasm! And in a Clockwork Orange House Of Fun Match!

Buford: A quick rundown for those of you who aren't sure what a match like this is all about. You can see that there is a cage wall in place along the ring. And you can see the weapons secured to it by velcro. There's weapons hanging over the ring on wires. And just in case you didn't think there were enough weapons handy, there's tables and chairs at ringside. Rules? There are none, just pin your opponent in the ring. Did I forget anything Boomer?

Boomer: Yeah. Parents...get your kids out of the room now or risk many, many sleep deprived nights.

["Two Months Off" by Underworld begins playing over the loudspeakers as two white spotlights train on the entrance. The curtain parts... and out comes the Polar Phantasm. He slaps a few audience members' hands on his way through the arena, then slides beneath the bottom rope and into the ring. Polar takes a quick look around the crowd... and then stares down (waits patiently for) his opponent.]

Buford: And here is Polar Phantasm, much to the delight of the crowd in attendence. You have to wonder what is going on in his mind as he looks around at what surrounds him. He's never been in a match like this before.

Boomer: He's also never faced someone the likes of Jay Price. How do you prepare yourself to face a man you've never seen wrestle in person, let alone wrestle against?

Buford: Well we shall see.

[The crowd waits with baited breath. "4 Words To Choke Upon" hits the speakers and they fucking explode with cheers. The curtain starts to open and then closes as Price makes them wait just a bit longer. Finally he pops out from behind it, a smirk on his face. He pauses, takes a long look around at the crowd, and then begins the walk to the ring. A few fans try to get a hand slap and one almost gets one before Price pulls his hand back and mouths "too slow". Price then rolls in under the bottom rope and heads over to the nearby corner. He climbs up to the second rope where he looks out at the crowd before flipping them off. He then turns around and sits on the top turnbuckle as his music fades out.]

Boomer: Price looks to be in as good as shape as he was before he went on the shelf, but it's what we can't see that I still wonder about. How healed up is that neck? How did Price get medical clearence so soon after having multiple surgeries?

Buford: All great questions Boomer, but I doubt we're going to get them tonight. So what do you say we just enjoy the match!

Boomer: Fair enough!

[DING! DING! DING!]

Buford: And there's the bell! Price hopping down off of the turnbuckle as Phantasm walks out to the center of the ring. It appears he wants to shake the hand of the one time WCF World Champion.

Boomer: Price doesn't look too interested in the show of respect, but he's walking out to meet Phantasm. Price extends his hand...but pulls it back at the last second and slaps Phantasm in the jaw!

Buford: Classic Price. He's never been one to show respect for anyone but himself. And the fine folks over at Captain Morgan.

Boomer: Phantasm nodding his head as he touches his jaw, almost as if to say okay Price, you got me there. Both men now taking a step back before they step back in and tie-up in the center of the ring.

Buford: Price taking control, grabbing the arm and contorting it into a side wristlock. But Phantasm is quick to reverse it into a wristlock of his own. Phantasm now using his left arm to drive the elbow down into the shoulder of Price. The hold is broken but Phantasm with a chop block to the back of the legs. Price hits the mat and quickly sits up but Phantasm connects with a kick to the chest.

Boomer: We've spent time talking about the health of the neck, but we've failed to take into account the inevitable ring rust.

Buford: Indeed we did. Phantasm allows Price to get himself up to his hands and knees before hitting him across the back with a forearm. Phantasm now pulling Price up but Price pushes him off and then leaps up and connects with a dropkick to the chest.

Boomer: What a beautiful standing dropkick!

Buford: Phantasm into the ropes, he bounces off and ends up on the wrong end of a shoulder block from Price. Price now leaping up into the air before dropping a knee across the face. Price with the first pin attempt of the match.

[ONE!]

Boomer: Phantasm quickly kicks out and rolls off to the side before springing to his feet. Price is up just as fast and the two again meet in the center of the ring. Phantasm tries for the tie-up but Price ducks it and tries for the rear waist lock. Phantasm quick to counter with an elbow to the face. Phantasm now grabs the arm of Price and looks to whip him into the ropes before pulling him back and stomach first into a knee. Price doubles over in pain and Phantasm grabs him before slamming him headfirst into the cage wall like a battering ram.

Buford: Price still on his feet but he looks a bit dazed. Phantasm grabs him by the back of the head before leading him to the cage. Phantasm slams Price face first into the mesh before dragging him along it, scraping his face like a cheese grater. Yikes! That has to be painful.

Boomer: I have a feeling by the end of the night that will look like a pat on the back.

Buford: Phantasm now done trying to turn Price's face into a hunk of parmesan as he pulls off a snap suplex and goes for the pin attempt.

[ONE!]

Boomer: Price's turn to kick out quickly. Phantasm is the first to his feet and he derails Price's attempt to get up with a kick to the back of the head. As Price rolls off to the side, Phantasm eyes up some of the weapons on the nearby cage wall. Right off the bat a steel chair catches his eye, and he snatches it off the wall. He spins around and measures Price up for a crushing blow to the head but Price sees it coming and rolls out of the ring.

Buford: Phantasm now exiting the ring and he's going right after Price, who seems to be trying to find something under the ring. Phantasm now right behind Price and he starts to swing...BUT PRICE HAS A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!

Boomer: Price spraying that foam into the eyes of Phantasm and he drops the chair. Price now driving that fire extinguisher into the chest of Phantasm, sending him back against the barricade.

Buford: Price measures up Phantasm and now he runs straight at him, looking to knock off his head...BUT PHANTASM DUCKS IT AND PRICE HITS A FAN!

Boomer: Dear god no! The last thing we need is a lawsuit.

Buford: I'm a bit more worried about that fan...

Boomer: Oh...yeah. So was I.

Buford: Price not even bothering to check on the fan as he turns his attention back to Phantasm, who is clutching his chest as he stands up. Price grabs him by the back of the head and leads him around the ring to the side where the cage wall is. Price now returning the favor from earlier as he grinds Phantasm's face against the steel mesh.

Boomer: I know neither of these guys are in the modeling business, but is all this face torture really necessary?

Buford: What the hell, it's Clockwork Orange!

Boomer: Price now letting Phantasm drop to ground as turns his attention to a table laying at ringside. He goes to work setting it up as Phantasm begins to crawl away. He gets under the ring seconds before Price finishes setting up the table. Price turns around to find Phantasm gone.

Buford: The fans are pointing Price to the opposite side of the ring, obviously trying to fool him. And it's working. Price runs around to the other side of the ring only to find Phantasm isn't there either. Now he's lifting up the apron...but there's no Phantasm.

Boomer: That's because Phantasm is now back in the ring, waiting for Price. Price stands up and Phantasm connects with the baseball slide, sending Price backfirst into the barricade. Phantasm now hopping up onto the apron and he dives off with a clothesline, sending Price over the barricade and into the crowd.

Buford: And there goes Price! And possibly another lawsuit!

Boomer: Price is two rows back in the crowd and looking dazed, but Phantasm needs to get him back into the ring if he wants to go for a pin attempt. Remember, this is a hardcore rules style match but it's not falls count anywhere.

Buford: Phantasm hops the barricade and tries to pull Price up to his feet, but Price grabs a fan's soda and throws it into his eyes. The fan, wearing a Phantasm shirt, doesn't seem to happy and he's letting Price know how he feels. Price now shrugging his shoulders as he turns around. Phantasm was waiting for him and he throws a wild punch...BUT PRICE DUCKS IT AND PHANTASM HITS HIS OWN FAN!

Boomer: Well fans it's been fun, but this match alone may bankrupt us due to the lawsuits sure to come.

Buford: Price pointing and laughing as Phantasm kindly takes a moment to check on the fallen fan. Price, seeing an opportunity, snatches a crutch from a fan and smacks Phantasm over the back with it. Price with a second crutch shot. And a third. And a fourth. A fifth shot and the crutch finally snaps. Price tosses the two halves deep into the crowd and then pulls Phantasm to his feet.

Boomer: Price now leading Phantasm back to the barricade where he dumps him onto the ringside floor. The fan who was earlier struck by that errant shot from a fire extinguisher by Price is now arguing with Price, pointing to the gash on his head, and most likely mentioning the word lawsuit.

Buford: Price now responding to the fan with a middle finger and he hops over the barricade. What class!

Boomer: No one ever confused Price with a dignitary. Price now rolling Phantasm into the ring and he tries for a pin attempt.

[ONE! TWO!]

Buford: And Phantasm gets the shoulder up at two. Price back up to his feet and he's looking above for another instrument of torture. He spots a black canvas bag and he rips it down. He opens it up, takes a look inside and spills the the contents on the mat...IT'S THUMBTACKS! Hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of thumbtacks!

Boomer: Phantasm up to his feet and Price spins him around before going for The Downfall. Phantasm blocks it and tries for a back body drop. Price is able to flip over Phantasm's back and land on his feet. Phantasm spins around and is met with a boot to the gut. Price pulls him in looking for a powerbomb. Price lifts him up but Phantasm is still fighting back, punching away at the head of Price.

Buford: Phantasm now dropping down to his feet. He grabs Price's head from behind...AND DELIVERS A FACEBUSTER ONTO THE THUMBTACKS!

Boomer: Price now screaming in pain as he rolls on the mat, thumbtacks stuck all over his face. My god that looks just brutally painful.

Buford: Phantasm now covering Price, looking for the pin.

[ONE! TWO!]

Boomer: Price kicks out at two, but he's got blood dripping down his face from all of those tacks. Phantasm back up to his feet as Price rolls off to the side, desperately trying to pull out as many tacks as he can.

Buford: But there's Phantasm getting right back to work, dropping down on top of Price as he begins hammering away at the face with forearm shots. He's trying to drive those tacks into Price's skull!

Boomer: Phantasm finally stops bashing Price's face long enough to try for another pin attempt.

[ONE! TWO!]

Buford: But again Price kicks out at two. All this offense is doing the job, but if Phantasm wants to end this match, he needs to step it up.

Boomer: I couldn't agree with you more, and it looks like Phantasm is realizing that as well as he goes for another steel chair hanging on that cage wall. Price is trying to pull himself up using the ropes as Phantasm moves in. Phantasm with a swing, but Price ducks it. The chair hits off the top rope and smacks Phantasm in the face. Phantasm stumbles back dazed and Price grabs him before hitting The Downfall! Price with the pin attempt!

[ONE! TWO! TH-]

Buford: AND PHANTASM KICKS OUT BEFORE THREE!

Boomer: Wow! I thought Price had him after that Downfall, but Phantasm dug down deep to kick out. You can just feel the energy coming from this crowd.

Buford: Price now sitting up on the mat and he can't believe Phantasm found a way to kick out. Price up to his feet and he pulls Phantasm up. Price now with a big european uppercut before shooting Phantasm into the ropes. Phantasm comes back and Price drops him with a drop toe hold. Price now grabbing the leg and he puts Phantasm in a single leg boston crab.

Boomer: He's got Phantasm on the mat and this is where Price is the most dangerous. Phantasm looking around for the ropes but Price has him down nearly in the center of the ring. You'd have to think that to Phantasm, those ropes look miles away.

Buford: It's not looking good, but just listen to this crowd. They're stomping and clapping away, trying to will Phantasm to stay in this match.

Boomer: And I believe I just heard Price tell the crowd to...and I'll have to clean this up a bit...shut the fump up.

Buford: Fump?

Boomer: Hey, more than likely we're going to get sued by some fans tonight. The last thing we need is the fucking FCC on our...crap. Well there goes that.

Buford: Indeed! Back in the ring Phantasm is being asked by the referee if he wants to continue. Phantasm screams out that he does indeed. This crowd is going absolutely insane and it looks like Polar is starting to feel their energy.

Boomer: Phantasm trying to pull himself toward the ropes with Price still on his back, stretching that leg back in ways a leg should never be stretched. Phantasm inching closer and close...BUT PRICE DRAGS HIM RIGHT BACK AWAY!

Buford: Phantasm needs to find a way to get this hold broken or this match is over.

Boomer: Phantasm now pushing himself up and he breaks the hold! Phantasm found a way to get enough room to roll out of the hold and send Price across the ring.

Buford: But how much damage was done to that leg?

Boomer: Phantasm up to his feet but you can see him standing on that right leg gingerly. Price back up to his feet as well and there's still fresh blood leaking from where those tacks are stuck in his face. Oh my what a war being waged.

Buford: Phantasm motioning for Price to bring it on and Price just smirks in repsonse. He pulls a few tacks out of his forehead and tosses them to the side before moving in to tie-up. Phantasm obliges and the pair begin the fight for control. Price is able to back Phantasm into the corner and he hits him with another european uppecut. Phantasm now slouched in the corner and Price hits him with a few kicks to the midsection.

Boomer: Price now backing out of the corner and he's calling for The Price Check. He runs right at Phantasm and leaps up but Phantasm ducks the knees and Price crashes into the top turnbuckle. Price now hitting the mat and Phantasm tries for the pin attempt.

[ONE! TWO! TH-]

Buford: But again Price is able to kick out before three! Phantasm rolls off of Price and he's not messing around as he goes immediately to go the top rope. But he's slowed down just a bit by that leg and by the time he's up top Price is back up to his feet. Price now climbing up the corner from the inside and the two meet. Price with a right hand. Phantasm with a left. Price now with the left and Phantasm responds with the right. Back and forth they go, each teetering on the second rope. Price finally blocks a punch and he hits a forearm to the face. Phantasm hangs onto the rope to avoid falling off as Price grabs hold of him. Price now going up top...WHAT IS HE DOING?!

Boomer: Price setting up Phantasm for the belly to belly and he hits it from the top rope!

Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME!

Buford: And you can here this crowd appreciating the spectacle these two men are putting on for them. Phantasm is down. Price is down. The referee can't do a thing except make sure both men are still breathing.

Boomer: Price the first to move as he slowly turns over onto his stomach and begins to crawl over to Phantasm. He throws an arm over his chest and tries for the pin.

[ONE! TWO! THRE-]

Buford: AND PHANTASM GETS THE SHOULDER UP! MY GOD HOW DID HE GET THE SHOULDER UP!

Boomer: I don't know! And neither does Price!

Buford: Price just rolled off of Phantasm and I swear I saw him mouth to the referee "you have to be fumping kidding me".

Boomer: I see you've taken a liking to fump.

Buford: Eh, no need for us both to get canned.

Boomer: Price now crawling toward the corner where he pulls himself up to a sitting position. I haven't seen Phantasm move since he kicked out of the pin attempt. I can see he's still conscious and breathing, but I imagine that he's trying to figure out how a truck got into the ring.

Buford: Price now pulling himself up to his feet with the ropes and the look on his face is one of pure frustration. He looks around at the weapons above and...is that a sink?

Boomer: It is!

Buford: Price smirks as reaches up and unlatches the sink from the wire, letting it drop to the mat with a thud. Now he's pulling Phantasm up to his feet and I'm getting flashbacks to Price versus Jonny Fly at Thirteen.

Boomer: Price pulls Phantasm in and he's yelling out that it's over. Price now lifting Phantasm up for that sheer drop brainbuster...BUT PHANTASM SLIPS OUT! Phantasm landing on his feet and he rolls up Price with the school boy.

[ONE! TWO!]

Buford: Price kicks out at two and both men seemingly have caught their second wind as they are both quick to their feet. Phantasm tries for the tie-up but Price with the knee to the gut. Price now grabbing the head and he delivers a series of knees to the head. Phantasm now busted open around the nose and mouth and he looks out of it.

Boomer: Show me a man that's not after getting kneed in the head a half dozen times.

Buford: Phantasm stumbles over to the ropes and is trying to keep himself upright. Price isn't letting that happen as he runs straight at Phantasm looking to hit a spear. Phantasm sidesteps it at the last second and Price crashes headfirst into the steel mesh. Phantasm pulls Price out from between the ropes and then throws him right back into the cage wall...AND IT COMES LOSE!

Boomer: The cage wall just fell over and is being held up by the barricade, with Price laid out on it. Phantasm looking around at the crowd before he sprints to the other side of the ring. He hit the ropes, turns around and sprints right back before leaping up over the top ropes and crashing on top of Price with The Hailstone.

Buford: That cage wall is holding both men's weight but I have no idea how.

Boomer: And Phantasm doesn't look like he's done yet. He's up and pulling Price with him. He's yelling for the Ice Cap...but he's not going to try it on there? Is he?

Buford: CLOCKWORK ORANGE BABY! ANYTHING GOES!

Boomer: He'll kill him!

Buford: Phantasm pulls Price in and lifts him up before driving him into the cage wall with the Ice Cap!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Boomer: The cage wall just caved in and Price looks to have hit his head hard on the ringside floor. He's got to be out cold.

Buford: Phantasm going for the pin attempt...BUT THE REFEREE IS TELLING HIM NO! He has to get Price into the ring.

Boomer: Phantasm is exhausted but he's got enough left in him to pull Price's unconscious body up and push him into the ring under the bottom rope. Phantasm now with the pin attempt.

[ONE! TWO! THREE!]

["Two Months Off" hits the speakers as the crowd explodes with cheers.]

Buford: And Phantasm has done it! He's pinned former World Champion Jay Price in a GEW ring. What an accomplishment to add to the already incredible resume.

[The referee helps Phantasm to his feet and raises his arm in victory before checking on the now alert Price.]

Boomer: And you can't take anything away from what Price did tonight. He came in just weeks after having yet another procedure done on his neck and he put on a show. But tonight was just Phantasm's night.

[Phantasm walks over to the corner and climbs up the ropes to celebrate as Price sits up and looks on. He pushes himself up to his feet as Phantasm hops down. "Two Months Off" fades out as both men move to the center of the ring.]

Buford: Oh don't tell me Price is going to try and ruin a great moment for Phantasm.

[Price, with a smirk on his face, nods his head and sticks his hand out. Phantasm raises an eyebrow as he looks out at the crowd.]

Boomer: Be smart about this Phantasm. You know it's a trap.

[Price gets tired of waiting and he grabs Phantasm's hand before shaking it. Phantasm looks shocked as Price actually congratulates him before dropping the handshake and turning to leave the ring. Price exits between the ropes and heads up the ramp as a stunned Phantasm is left in the middle of the ring.]

Buford: Did we just see a different side of Jay Price tonight?

Boomer: I don't know. But what I do know is that we just witnessed a match for the ages.

[The crowd's cheering jars Phantasm out of his shock and he goes back to celebrating.]

[Boomer Brown]

Boomer Brown: Well fans, we've seen it all tonight- well, almost all, anyway!

Buford Pine: Only one thing left to do, Boom-

Boomer: START THE SECOND HALF OF OUR MAIN EVENT!

[The lights in the venue suddenly cut to black as the familiar opening to "For Whom the Bell Tolls" plays. The crowd is jacked up and gets louder after every toll. After six tolls, there is silence. A solitary light hits the stage. Out from the back walk six men. These are big dudes, too. Vikings to be exact. Three stand on each side of the entrance. They're all carrying shields and swords, long hair, beards, legit looking vikings. "Locust" by Machine Head hits the PA system and the place explodes into cheers. The lights flash to the music as it chugs along. As soon as the lyrics kick in, Corey Black emerges from the back.]

Boomer: IWF superstar, WCF Hall of Famer and now GEW main eventer- Corey Black has done it all.

Buford: He's got a stiff style, he's got power like a big man and finesse like a middleweight... if there's anything he ain't done he's well equipped to do it soon as he gets a mind to, Boom.

[The house lights go out, as lighter colored lights come on. The multiple cameras pan around the jam packed wrestling venue. The fans are holding up various signs. The atmosphere is explosive and some of the crowd is cheering. While, the rest, of the crowd are booing. The house lights go out. The crowd begins to murmur. Strobe lights begin to flash, as bright white lazers begin to flash. Two bright spotlights hit the entrance stage. There are winged angel statues, one on each of the two front corners, of the entrance stage. Down the ramp, on both sides are winged angel statues, several feet apart. In between the statues are standing lit candles. From the entrance stage and down the ramp is a red carpet. Then right about the time, everyone's curiosity is at a fever pitch, a dubstep mashup of Gregorian Chant by the Benedict Monks and Oblivion by Mastadon begins to play. Fog begins to roll out onto the entrance stage and down the ramp. Several Gathering members slowly walk out in monk robes... chanting. Slightly bouncing behind them are The Vixens, who are dressed in a sexier modified version of what Catholic Nuns wear. They to have their heads down and their hands in a prayer manner. The lighter colored lights begin to flicker, which causes everyone to look around. The Gathering are on the outside, of the ring standing near the four corners, of the ring. The Vixens in their "Nun Habits" are kneeling ringside with their hands in a prayer position. Then the arena slightly shakes, as the sound of thunder rumbles. Lightning strike the corners corners, of the ring. The loud sounds made everyone jump out of their seats. Some, of the people are scared out of their minds. The lights flicker then... POP!! The lighter colored lights go out!! The lights flicker, then come back on. In the center of the ring, is Oblivion. Standing behind Oblivion are six large men in dark hooded robes. The Gathering are kneeling one knee, as they pay homage to Oblivion. The Vixens are still kneeling, but are now praying feverishly. The music continues to thrash out from the arena's speakers. Oblivion slowly walks out. The arena shakes with thunderous cheers and boos!! The boos are slightly louder. Oblivion makes IT's way down the entrance ramp and towards the ring. The Vixens, The Gathering, and the six hooded large men are standing ringside. Oblivion makes IT's way inside the ring. Oblivion takes off IT's ceremonial robe and folds it neatly and places near the corner.]

Boomer: We've seen Oblivion in the GEW Arena before, but not like this- not with his whole procession of 'followers'! It's quite a- uh, sight!

Buford: Man, how much you think he charges for a couple hours with a few of them Vixens?

Boomer: Buford, that's not Steve Orbit, that's Oblivion! If he 'charges' anything it'd probably be your soul.

Buford: Who knows, Boomer- might be worth it.

Richard Vranch: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is the second half of our double main event! In the corner to my left, weighing in at 220 lbs and hailing from Funen, Denmark... he is a WCF Hall of Famer- please welcome COREY BLACK!!!

[Crowd begins chanting 'FUCK HIM UP CREEPS, FUCK HIM UP']

Richard Vranch: And his opponent, weighing in at 305 lbs and hailing from 'the darkest parts of a man's psyche'... he is a former WCF World Champion and leader of the Church of Dark Saints... please welcome OBLIVION!!!

Boomer: This should be a war.

Buford: That's not for another two weeks-

Boomer: -shut up, Buford.

--------------------------------------------------------------

OBLIVION vs. COREY BLACK
Referee: Clive Anderson

[The much anticipated match between Corey Black and Oblivion gets underway. Both men circle the ring, while keeping their eyes directly on each other. Both men then walk directly to the center, of the ring. They get nose to nose. The noise from the crowd, become ear shattering. Then out of nowhere...]

[WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM!!]

Boomer: Both men begin striking each other with lefts and rights! Black is using his extended knowledge of MMA strikes as The Monster is just using a straight up brawling style. The crowd's even more excited, as they begin to stand up and away from their seats... Oblivion swings wildly and Black catches The Monster...

[WHAM!!]

Boomer: Corey Black folds Oblivion in half with a side suplex. As Oblivion flops back down, with eyes crossed, Black bolts off towards the ropes and leaps off the second rope into a moonsault...

[WOO-OOSH-WHAM!!]

Corey Black: AHHH-H-H!!

Buford: These two are like forces of nature in there!

Boomer: Black lands hard across Oblivion two lifted knees. Black's mid-section lands on Oblivion's knees. The Monster doesn't take any chance with Black, because at any given opportunity Corey Black could nail IT with any combination or style of any maneuver at any given moment. So, Oblivion takes IT's first opportunity to end this match early. As Corey Black is clutching his mid-section. Oblivion flies towards the ropes and bounces off the ropes and flies into the air....

[WHOO-O-OOSH-THUD!!]

Boomer: Oblivion leaps into the air with a flying legdrop, but misses as Corey Black moves out of the way. As The Monster gets to both knees, Black begins to strike with stiff leg kicks to the chest and mid-section of Oblivion. Black picks up his opponent and tosses IT into the ropes. Oblivion bounces off the ropes...

[WHAM!!]

Boomer: Corey Black nails The Monster with a hard lariat! Oblivion hits the mat hard, but to bounce back up and....

[WHAM!!]

Boomer: ...nails Corey Black with IT's own massive clothesline. Not to be outdone, Black also bounces back up. This gets the crowding even more excited, as they watch this evenly matched bout. The two crash into each other, as Black catches Oblivion with a stiff right forearm into The Monster's left side, then... WHAM!! a stiff right forearm to the side of the head! That slightly knocks Oblivion back, as Black takes the chance of bolting away and bouncing off the robes and nailing his opponent with a spinning heel kick, knocking Oblivion down to the mat. Black runs to a nearby corner and climbs up to the top turnbuckle. black leaps into the air...

[WHAM!!]

Oblivion: AHH-H-H!!

Buford: Brutality at its finest, Boom.

Boomer: Corey Black lands with a double stomp to the gut of Oblivion. Black goes for the pin. The referee slides into position...

The crowd: ONE!!

The crowd: TWO!!

The crowd: THREE-....NO-O-O-O!!

Boomer: KICKOUT!!! Oblivion kicks out a hair shy of a 3-count... Black roars out with frustration. He wants to end this quick and early. Black grabs Oblivion and Irish whips IT into the ropes. Black attempts to grab Oblivion, but it's The Monster that grabs Corey Black and nearly breaks him in half with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Black arches his back with pain. Oblivion takes this opportunity to stalk IT's opponent by crouching around, before standing back up and....

[STOMP!!]

The crowd: S!!

[STOMP!!]

The crowd: T!!

[STOMP!!]

The crowd: O!!

[STOMP!!]

The crowd: M!!

[STOMP!!]

The crowd: P!!

Buford: This crowd is electrified right about now, Boom-

Boomer: You ain't lyin, Jack! Oblivion stomps down onto the head, both arms and both legs. The Monster goes to grab Black, but the veteran finds a way to catch Oblivion off guard with a quick uppercut, under the jaw. with a painful expression across his face, Corey Black stands up quickly and bounces off the ropes and nails The Monster with a stiff forearm to the side of the head. Black, once again flies off to the ropes and again nails The God of Insanity with another shot to the head. Black takes one more chance and flies to the ropes, this time Oblivion sees Black coming and proceeds to catch Black, in the process. But, that never happens, as Black flies past Oblivion, ducking a wild lariat attempt by his opponent and bounces off the ropes...

[WHAM!!!]

Boomer: Black catches Oblivion with a flying knee strike to the face, knocking the big man backwards towards the ropes. Black watches as Oblivion stumbles backwards. The Ghost of Tokyo flies towards Oblivion, who is leaning against the ropes. The contact causes both men to fall out of the ring, over the top ring rope. Black quickly recovers, as Oblivion lands hard at ringside. The Human Horror Show gets back into the ring and grabs the top ring rope with both hands. Black waits for The Dark One to slowly stand up. Grabbing the top rope with both hands, Black pulls back and uses the momentum to fling himself over the top rope and nailing Oblivion with a flying plancha. Black, taking this perfect opportunity grabs the hair off The Monster and slam IT's head onto the ring apron, not once, but three times before...

[WHAM!!!]

Boomer: ...before nailing The monster of Madness with a quick release German suplex. Corey Black smirks with complete ease as he approaches Oblivion who strikes at Black, with a shot to the gut, but Black just rakes the boot laces against the face of his opponent. Black grabs Oblivion and proceeds to push him backwards towards the ring steps, but Oblivion blocks Black's momentum with blocking with IT's right foot, causing Oblivion to switch positions and...

[WHAM!!]

Boomer: ...Corey Black's lower back collides with the ringsteps. Oblivion takes IT's chance by pummeling black with massive rights fists to the face, knocking Black down in seated position, with his back to the ring steps. Oblivion, with a wild look in IT's face, takes several steps back and bolts towards Black, who at the last minute, looks up to see a massive right thigh smashing against the face of Corey Black, whose head bounces off the ringsteps. Black collapses and proceed to grab his own head, in pain. Oblivion goes in to pick up Black, but The Avenger pushes back Oblivion away. The Monster doesn't waste a second as IT charges at Black, once again. But, this time, Corey Black fights off the pain and stands up quickly and...

[WHAM!!!!]

Boomer: ... nails Oblivion with a superkick! That just stumbles Oblivion backwards. Black jumps up to the ring apron and flies off towards Oblivion...

[WHOO-OO-OOSH-WHAM!!]

Boomer: ... and nails The Dark One with an hurricanrana. That quick maneuver propels Oblivion into a flipping action, right onto IT's back. Black grabs Oblivion and proceed to Irish whip him into the corner of the security railing...

[REVERSAL!!- CLANG!!]

Boomer: Black hits the railings, hard!

Corey Black: AHH-H-H!! SON OF A BITCH!!

Buford: Some mighty fine hardcore chain wrestlin' out of these two legends of the ring tonight!

Boomer: All Obi just did was enrage Corey Black! Out of instinct he charges at Oblivion. But, The Monster is aware of IT's surroundings and...

[WHOO-OO-OOSH-WHAM-CLANG!!]

Boomer: ...back body drops Corey black onto the metal ring steps. Black slowly gets to both knees, while still on the ring steps. Oblivion nails Black with a jab and a spinning back fist. Oblivion just grabs the ears of Corey Black....

[WHAM!-WHAM!-WHAM!-WHAM!!-WHAM!!]

Boomer: ...and begins to nail Black with headbutt after head butt, until a small laceration begins to form, on the forehead of Corey Black. Once the blood begins to be noticed, Oblivion goes into a rage and grabs the face of Black and proceeds to pound down onto the small cut, causing it to open up, as more blood begins to flow. The crowd begins to gasp, as Oblivion dives into the forehead and proceeds to gnaw onto the open wound. Oblivion spits out the hunk of forehead. The Monster grabs The Human Horror Show and throws him into the ringside railings. Black howls out in pain, but Oblivion takes no mind as he grabs the head of Corey Black and begins to smash his opponent's head several times on the railing!

Buford: Man, I hope Ricky Richards got hooked up with some of that WCF-style 'insurance'- between Scoutmaster takin' that spill earlier and THIS match? Somebody might sue!

Boomer: That dazes Black, but recovers slightly enough to back hand the mid-section of Oblivion and hooks IT in a front face lock. He then front flips over The Monster of Madness in a move resembling a Northern Lights Suplex. But instead, Black delivers a front flip DDT. The momentum causes Oblivion to spike awkwardly. Black grabs Oblivion and throws IT into the ring, immediately covering the big monster of a man....

The crowd: One!

The crowd: TWO!!

The crowd: THREE-E-E...NO-O-O-O-O!!

Boomer: Oblivion lifts up IT's right shoulder. Black stands up Oblivion and gets behind the big man, placing his index fingers in IT's mouth, pulling on the corners. CD then leaps up and places a foot on the back of Oblivion's head. Corey black falls onto his back and straightens his leg, effectively ripping his fingers out of the mouth of Oblivion, in a most violent fashion.

Buford: Old-school fish-hook hold, I like it!

Boomer: Black goes down to grab for Oblivion, but that's when Melissa, the head of The Vixens jumps up to the ring apron. The referee goes over to the creepy young lady. that gives Oblivion the perfect opportunity to...

[WHOO-OO-OOSH!!]

Boomer: BLUE HAZE MIST!! Oblivion with that mist in Corey Black's eyes! Corey Black flings around, howling, as he grabs for his eyes. With his face covered in a blue good, Oblivion bounces back and...

[WHAM!!!]

Boomer: CHECK OUT TIME SUPERKICK!! The superkick sends Black backwards. Oblivion runs towards IT's opponent and catches him with a clothesline, but both men tumble over the top ring rope, once again to the ringside area. But, this time they are in front of the commentary table. Oblivion grabs Black and tosses him into the side of the table. Black gets tossed into the table, as his body crashes hard and lands like a lump of clay next to the table. Oblivion proceeds to stomp down onto the fallen Black. Without removing anything on the commentary table, Oblivion just throws Black over the table, where he lands hard, on the other side of the table.

Buford: A little close for comfort here, don't you think?

Boomer: Referee Clive Anderson is just letting both men do whatever they need to do, just to survive this massacre of a match. Black, as is wedged between the commentary table and the security railing, Black grabs for something, as Oblivion approaches...

[CLANG!!]

Boomer: Black cracks the chair over the head of Oblivion, which knocks IT down to one knee...

[CLANG!!!]

Boomer: That chair smash knocks Oblivion down to both knees. Black tosses the chair to Oblivion, who by instinct alone, grabs for the chair. But, with not enough time to react, Black leaps into the air and kicks the chair into the face of Oblivion. The chair falls to the ground, but Black sees the chair and decides to grab for Oblivion, who is vain pops Black in the mid-section. Black ignores the shot and strains to pick up the big man and....

[WHAM!!!]

The crowd: HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!

Boomer: Corey black drops Oblivion on IT's head onto the chair with a Death Valley Driver!! The Monster convulses in pain. but, that doesn't stop Corey Black from tossing Oblivion into the ring. Black rolls up Oblivion for the pin....

The crowd: ONE!!

The crowd: TWO!!

The crowd: THREE-EE-EE-EE!! NOO-O-O-O!!

Boomer: Unbelievable- Oblivion kicked out at 2 3/4!

Corey Black: WHAT THE HELL?!? WHY WON'T YOU STAY DOWN?!?!?

Buford: He must have some of what the Undertaker used ta have back in the 90's.

Boomer: Black proceeds to pound down onto the face of The Monster. With Oblivion still dazed, strains to life up Oblivion into a suplex. Black lays IT across the top rope, so that The Monster lays parallel to the mat. Corey pulls Oblivion out far enough so that IT's legs are on the ropes. From here, Black leaps up, clutches The Monster behind the head and places both knees in IT's face, falling onto his own back in a Code Breaker. This sends Oblivion recoiling back, and falling off to a side. Black takes no chances and rolls up Oblivion, even grabbing a little extra of IT's trunks....

The crowd: ONE!!

The crowd: TWO!!

The crowd: THREE-EE-EE-EE!! NOO-O-O-O!!

Boomer: KICKOUT, AGAIN! OBLIVION JUST WON'T GO DOWN!

Corey Black: NOOO-O-O-O-O!! DAMN IT!!

Boomer: Black grabs Oblivion and tosses IT into the ropes...

[REVERSAL!!]

Boomer: Oblivion reverses the toss and grabs Black and ceremoniously tosses Black over the top ring ropes. Oblivion looks at the fallen black and runs to the other end, of the ring. The Monster stomps down onto the mat, a few times. The Dark One bolts towards the ropes and flies over the top ring rope. But, what The Monster didn't know, Black had grabbed for a chair....

[SWI-I-ING-KER-A-AAACKK-KKK!!]

Boomer: The chair shot collides with the skull of Oblivion!! The Monster's head explodes, as a burst of blood flies everywhere. Oblivion just drops. Black grabs Oblivion, but the limp Monster grab for the eyes of Black and gouges the eyes. Oblivion grabs for the chair and waits for Corey to turn around....

[THWACK!!]

Buford: Man, it sounds like damn Wimbledon or somethin' in here! Corey Black's even hollerin' like Johnny McEnroe!

Boomer: The chair shot causes Black to spin around. Oblivion grabs him and pushes him into a nearby corner post. Black's head smacks against the post. Now, both of their faces are now covered in the red goo!! Oblivion looks under the ring and quickly finds a small strand of barbed wire. Without any hesitation Oblivion wraps the wire around the head of Corey Black. Oblivion grabs black and....

[WHOOSH-WHAM!!]

Boomer: ...nails him with a spinning belly to belly suplex. Oblivion grabs for an exhausted Corey Black, but The Ghost of Tokyo proceeds to headbutt Oblivion several times in the face. That gives Black enough time to remove the barbed wire and grab The Monster from behind and lock IT in a reverse DDT before spinning around and dropping them in a Cutter. Oblivion drops down violently, as the blood from IT's head and face flies everywhere. Rather than pin Oblivion, Black picks up his opponent and throws IT into a corner. Oblivion begins to shake violently with adrenaline. Corey Blacks backs up to charge at The Monster. But, Oblivion picks up IT's massive right boot and Black slams his head/face into the boot. Black spins around....Oblivion grabs Corey Black and tosses him onto IT's shoulder into a fireman's carry. Oblivion knocks off the legs of IT's shoulders and slams Corey Black down with a cutter. Oblivion makes the cover, as the referee slides into position...

The crowd: ONE!!

The crowd: TWO!!

The crowd: THREE-EE-EE-EE!!

Boomer: THREE?!

Richard Vranch: Your winner of the match... OBLIVION!!!

Buford: I don't believe it- that sick bastard actually beat Corey Black!

Boomer: Fans, it's official- NOW we've seen it all. Corey Black hit Oblivion with everything but a mortar shell trying to put the big man down, but it just wasn't his night... and now, finally, Shoot to Thrill is finished.

Buford: Seems like it took a hell of a lot longer than two or three hours, didn't it?

Boomer: When you're right, Buford, you're right. Church of Dark Saints can celebrate this win with pride- Corey Black's not an easy man to defeat, and their 'messiah' has done just that here tonight despite a brutal and punishing beating.

Buford: Think there's anything to that Obi-Christ thing, Boom?

Boomer: You remember the old saying, 'fifty million Elvis fans can't be wrong'?

Buford: Oh yeah!

Boomer: Well, I hate Elvis. That does it for us, fans- thank you for joining us via 'cybercast' for Shoot to Thrill 2012! On behalf of Lucien Hicks, all of our ring staff, the GEW and WCF locker rooms, Ricky Richards, Seth Lerch... Buford Pine and myself- this is Boomer Brown saying good night... and what a great fight!

[(c) Global Extreme Wrestling / Wrestling Championship Federation 2012. All rights reserved.]