Post by FPV on Sept 16, 2012 12:57:23 GMT -5
OOC NOTE: Although this is a joint RP between me and Logan, Logan wrote all of Side B, but he's sorta busy, so I'll be posting it for him.
Was he sleeping? Yes. He was. It was three in the morning. Sarah Twilight’s face crept up into the corner of FPV’s bedroom window. His hair raggy and tangled from climbing through bushes. Sarah’s make-up hadn’t been done in what appeared to be day’s maybe. Thick glops of dark blue eye shadow smeared recklessly around his eye sockets. A finger joined in near his face and he tapped a long nail onto the windows glass.
Sarah Twilight: F.. P.. V-vvvv.
Sarah’s lips twitched upwards to form a slight smile, before he called to ‘FPV’ again. This time screaming in a hysterical voice.
Sarah Twilight: FPV!
By all that is holy and wholesome in this world, FPV should not have woken up to answer that voice. He couldn't quite recognize it, but his curiosity got the best of him, as he slowly opened his eyes to peek out his window, seeing a blurry red figure.
FPV: Wh-wha?
The figure became more clear to him, and as soon as he realized who it was...
FPV: WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?
Sarah Twilight: AHHH.
Sarah scrambled back from the window, falling over into a sticker bush.
Sarah Twilight: Fuckin’ fuck -
And then Sarah rolled out of the bush and onto the lawn, back and forth on his back mimicking that of a person on fire.
Sarah Twilight: It hurts, FPV. Help me!
FPV: Uh..
An indecisive moment kept FPV standing there, looking out the window and watching his former treachery partner roll around the lawn in panic.
FPV: Okay!
And he was off rushing to aid Sarah… in some way. Outside now, FPV appeared from around the corner of the house with a water hose in his hand, blasting the disoriented Sarah with cold water from the hoses gun nuzzle.
FPV: You okay...uh, Sarah.
Although FPV knew full well that that wasn't really Sarah Twilight, he still figured going along with Logan's charade was probably the wisest choice as he looked at the damp Twilight.
FPV: If I may ask...why exactly are you hiding outside my window?
Sarah stood to his feet, shaking the water off him like a dog would.
Sarah Twilight: I'm here tonight to address the big elephant in the room, because this needs to be said. We're working together this week, and I know you're probably attracted to me... who isn't?
FPV: Actually... no -
Sarah Twilight: - let me finish. I came here to personally tell you that my 'Twilight Zone'.
Sarah peered down to his own crotch then back up to FPV.
Sarah Twilight: Is off limits. I'm a one man kind of woman. My heart belongs to Steve Orbit. Sorry to break it to you like that...
Shaking his head, FPV pointed the hose at Sarah's face and sprayed him a little more. After the hosing ended, Sarah Twilight simply blinked his eyes.
FPV: Ladyboy, I could not care less if your snatch belonged to that pimp, if it doesn't help win matches, then I'm not interested in it. And secondly, I don't NEED a chick at all in my life. Sure, I'll have the odd one night stand every once in a while, but that's about it. I don't feel the need for any domestic partners, inside the ring or out of it. So yeah, you can rest assured your "Twilight Zone" is gonna stay just peachy.
After saying that, FPV began to scheme up new ideas, as his mind wandered between different things, one idea stood out in particular.
FPV: Now of course, if you want to go an do something as friends, you know, bonding before our match, I'm down with that. In fact..., I happen to know a pretty cool deal going on downtown later tomorrow if you're willing and able...
After wiping the last bit of water out of his eyes, Sarah gave FPV a questioning look.
Sarah Twilight: You certainly know how to peak a lady's interest. What kind of deal is this? Is this one of those witch-hunt deals, cause if it is you can just go back inside your house and go back to bed, cause I don't want any part of it.
FPV: Oh no...not at all. It's just a good ole' fashioned rock 'n roll show, I think you'll like it.
Sarah Twilight: Is it Evanescence?
FPV: Even better.
Sarah raised an eyebrow at Franky, surprised by his choice of words.
Sarah Twilight: Not many bands can claim to be better than Evanescence. Whatever you got planned better be damned amazing.
FPV cocked that sly smile of his that got him so much cooch in high school, confident his plan would work.
FPV: Just trust me on this, I think you'll like it!
20 HOURS LATER...
10 o' clock P.M. The perfect time for a rock concert. Even if it's just a small scale one like the one FPV had brought Sarah Twilight to. They were standing near the back of the convention center amongst the crowd of people who had gathered for tonight's show. Sarah wore a large pair of shades to cover her eyes, FPV wore a custom made black and white shirt with black "X"s on his left pectoral. The band supposed to be playing was billed as "Foxboro Hot Tubs," or at least, that's what the poster said. Sarah was getting restless for the band to come out.
Sarah Twilight: Man, what's taking these bitches so long, I got shit to do!
FPV: Relax...they'll be out here soon enough.
What FPV knew that Sarah didn't was that the whole Foxboro Hot Tubs deal was all just a ruse...a placeholder for something much more than merely songs about getting it on. As the lights went down, a few fans began to cheer, but then once people found out who was really coming out, everyone got up on their feet.
Billie Joe Armstong, Mike Dirnt, and Tre Cool.
BJA: HELLO PENNSYLVANIA, WE ARE GREEN DAY!
Back at the back, Sarah did not seem impressed by the display.
Sarah Twilight: Really? You brought me all the way out here to see fucking Green Day?
FPV: Hey, the old Logan I knew used to love Green Day!
Sarah Twilight: well I hate to break it to ya, punk, but I ain't no goddamn Logan. I'm Sarah Fucking Twilight. I don't know why people keep saying I'm this Logan dude, but I don't like it.
FPV: Fine, be that way. Me, I'm gonna' listen to some tunes.
Back at the stage...
BJA: Allright you guys, our first song tonight is the first songoff our new album Uno! This is Nuclear Family, let's go!
At that moment Billie Joe strummed his guitar with such force and precision that even people that weren't into the band were forced to take notice. Soon enough the others joined in on the punk rock shenanigans as Billie Joe began to sing.
Back at the back...FPV began to hop up and down in excitement, the inner teenage girl in him coming out rather embarrassingly.
FPV: WOOOO!
Sarah Twilight: Oh, brother.
While FPV was continuing to have a blast, Twilight began to show her discontent with the music she was hearing.
Sarah Twilight: What the hell is this shit? You bitches call this music?!
Not that far from Twilight, a tough looking man, about 6 foot 3 and 230 pounds of almost nothing but muscle, turned to Twilight's direction, seemingly offended by his comment.
Punk: What you say?
Twilight walked to the man, staring him in the face, as both cold gazes met in a showdown for the ages.
Sarah Twilight: You heard me right. You gonna' do anything about it?
Punk: Oh I'm gonna do something about it, Ladyman!
Sarah Twilight: Motherfucker, I'm going to destroy you just like I'm gonna' destroy those asian kids Sunday!
The man raised a slightly confused eyebrow at twilight for a moment. Apparently, he didn't know about WCF or Shoot to Thrill. No matter, he was still bent on beating the living piss out of Twilight. FPV had stopped bouncing around long enough to notice what was wrong, and immediately got between the two.
FPV: (nervously) Hey now, this is a rock concert now, it's supposed to be all peace and fun times, eh. Remember woodstock? Right? RIGHT?!
Punk: Fuck that, I'm turning this into Woodstock '99! I'M GONNA' BREAK SHIT!
And just like that, BAM! The two began to brawl in the middle of the crowd, who at first didn't seem to notice the chaos. While this obviously wasn't the punk's first rodeo (he managed to handle himself pretty well in the fight), Twilight's wrestling background began to be too much for him, as he became locked in Twilight's signature "Spellbound" submission hold.
Sarah Twilight: TAP YOU LITTLE BITCH!
Punk: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!
While the order began to unravel in the crowd, as the band finished up their first song, Bille Joe turned to his bandmates to discuss the matter at hand.
BJA: Guys...there's a dude in drag beating up another dude in the crowd.
Mike: I know man, weird.
Tre: I think it's friggin' hilarious!
BJA: You guys thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
The other two nodded, as Billie Jow gave the signal, a saxophone player, a trumpet player, and a trombone player, all decked in ridiculous hats and fur coats, walked on stage from behind the curtains. The fans still paying attention to the band screamed their little hearts out, as they knew what this meant.
BJA: KING! FOR! A! DAAAAAAAAAAAAY!~!
The horn players came in, bustin' out ridiculously excited and happy sounds as BJA began hopping up and down the stage like a bunny rabbit as he sang.
The whole made for quite the weird soundtrack to the punishment Twilight was inflicting as he released the half-dead punk from the hold, raising her fists at the crowd that had gathered around her.
Sarah Twilight: ANY ONE ELSE WANT SOME, HUH?!?!
The crowd was all too happy to oblige, as a literal army of screaming angry punks rained down upon Twilight and FPV, who was being dragged into this to protect both himself and Twilight for Sunday.
FPV: THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!
Sarah Twilight: IT'S CALLED HAVING FUN, YOU SHOULD TRY IT OUT, IT'S....
Twilight kicked one punk in the nads, making his voice a soprano and sending him backwards through the crowd.
Sarah Twilight: FAAAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS!
As the battle raged on on the concert floor, the song continued as if nothing was happening.
As The Battle of Green Day waged on, both FPV and Twilight began to be hopelessly out numbered as more and more punks began piling up on them. The two wrestlers were barely able to keep up with the enemy.
FPV: WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GONNA' DO?!
Sarah Twilight: I DON'T KNOW, USE YOUR LIMIT BREAK OR SOMETHING!
FPV: I CAN'T, THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM!
And then, just as all hope seemed lost for our heroes, a savior suddenly appeared, pushing open the doors to the arena loudly as he stepped in the building. His presence made everyone stop in their tracks to see him, even the band stopped playing to see who this was. While the cast on his leg was still fresh, he was still mobile, and the very fact that he was here tonight shocked FPV.
Everyone: MOTHERFUCKING DANNY?!
Indeed, Motherfucking Danny stood their proudly, as he gazed upon the paused chaos in front of him. As he looked around, he came into eye contact with FPV, and although FPV was nervous that Danny would be coming after after what he did to him on Slam two weeks ago, Danny merely gave him a wink, as if saying "Don't sweat it bro, I forgive you." He then turned his attention to FPV and Twilight's attackers.
Danny: Guess what? My mom gives me a better blowjob then your mom!
To say that all hell broke loose after he said that would be an understatement. The punks all turned their attention to Danny and began to pummel the living shit out of him. In between screams of pain, Danny yelled out to Twilight and FPV.
Danny: Get out..while you still can...GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!
As bones could be heard snapping from Danny's fragile body, Twilight grabbed FPV by the wrist and dragged him out the convention center quicker than a speeding bullet.
THE AFTERMATH...
The two were walking down the street next to a McDonalds and a gas station. FPV still seemed to be in shock from Danny's sacrifice.
FPV: I can't believe it. That man sacrificed himself so that you and me could survive, even after what I did to him. I just...I just don't believe it.
Sarah Twilight: Well you should. People like him are easily disposable, so you shouldn't beat yourself up over it.
FPV: Wow...what a dick thing to say.
Sarah Twilight: Hey, I'm sorry but that's just the way it is. He's disposable, just like that Kira dude and his old lady.
FPV: Okay, I gotta' call bull on that. Kira's an awesome wrestler, in my opinion...
Sarah Twilight: Sucking your opponents dick isn't going to win our match this Sunday, so you gotta promise me you're going to do everything in your power to make sure those two walk out of New Orleans like a bitch on moonshine, you hear me?
FPV didn't want to say yes, he had too much respect for Kira, but after what happened tonight, he didn't want to get on Twilight's bad side.
FPV: Fine.
Sarah Twilight: Good. Now if you'll excuse, I gotta' whiz, you mind holding my purse?
FPV: Sure.
Twilight handed her bag to FPV as he sprinted into the gas station. As FPV looked through the contents of the bag, he noticed what appeared to be a medicine container, with a whole lot of red pills inside. Curious, he took it out and examined the bottle.
FPV: Pall Red. Hmm, maybe this is what's fuckin' Logan up. I better grab a couple of these things for research.
FPV quickly unscrewed the cap and took about 4 or 5 pills from it before putting the cap back an and sticking it back in Twilight's purse, sticking the tablets in his pocket. As soon as he did, Twilight came walking out the door.
Sarah Twilight: Man, those chicks in the ladies room were giving me some reeeeeally weird looks.
FPV: After what you've gone through tonight, I wouldn't be surprised.
Sarah Twilight: Hmph. Well anyway, gotta go. Thanks for the ride and all that mushy jazz, I'll see you in New Orleans. OH, and thanks for holding my purse for me.
Twilight quickly snatched his purse from FPV's hands.
Sarah Twilight: Later.
Twilight began to walk away from FPV, who turned around the opposite direction, walking into the McDonalds for a quick midnight snack.
FPV: I swear to freaking god I work for a goddamn madhouse.
His emotionless doll face darker than his skin yet beautiful lied over the pillow of my bed. Two weeks ago I arranged with a doll company to make me a life-like replica of Steve Orbit, and now here he was in my bed, without dolly clothes. The bedroom didn’t end there of Orbit relations; no my walls were spackled in heavy glue and various cut out photos of WCF’s pimp. Candles surrounding and highlighting the Orbit shrine smelt like strawberries. The same whiff my nostrils took in when the two of us first met in that massage parlor. I myself was just as naked as the doll other than the leopard leather thong and bra tightly hugging my feminine parts. We laid there together, looking up at the ceiling that also hid behind heavy glops of glue and Steve Orbit photographs.
Sarah Twilight: If sex with a doll version of you is this good, then I might just have to kidnap you sometime soon. Unless we can make you a real boy, Pinocchio.
Reaching over onto my nightstand, I found my package of Marlboro Reds and matches. Smoking was without a doubt bad for one’s health. My way of avoiding cancer was only having one on special occasions; like this one, having sex with a custom made doll of Steve Orbit.
Sarah Twilight: Wouldn’t you think so?
Blowing the cigarette smoke away from the dolls face, because that was just rude, I grabbed at his rubber hinged jar and flapped the dolls mouth open and closed, mimicking an Orbit voice.
Doll Orbit: Yes, Sarah. That’s a great idea. You always have great ideas, because you’re the only one who matters… to me.
I blushed.
Sarah Twilight: Oh, Stevie…
Interrupting our afternoon romance, my bedroom door burst open revealing FPV in the doorway. He had an excited look on his face at first, maybe he came with the anticipation of bearing good news, but when he seen our current development… he looked away and made an awkward grunt.
Sarah Twilight: Frank!
Pulling the sheet up over me and the Steve Orbit doll to cover our exposed nature.
FPV: Sorry!
Sarah Twilight: Don’t you knock?
FPV: You showed up at my place the other night like a creeper in the window out of a slasher movie.
Sarah Twilight: But… I knocked.
FPV: Ah nevermind.. this is probably a bad time. I’ll come back later.
Sarah Twilight: Or you could join us.
FPV: What?
Sarah Twilight: I’ve never had a three-way before.
FPV: SARAH!
Sarah Twilight: WHAT?!
FPV: I have tickets to the Foxboro Hot Tubs.
Sarah Twilight: Again?
FPV: Yes, but this time.. it’s in a basement!
I did like basements.
Sarah Twilight: Okay. Let me get dressed and stuff.
Before doing so I leaned over into the Orbit dolls face and placed a sweet kiss on his rubber forehead.
Sarah Twilight: Goodbye, Daddy. See you soon.
FPV: What the…
Fuck. A few hours and a couple of tequilas later, Frankie and I were jammed pack in the middle of screaming shambles of kids and various other drunkards of all ages.
Sarah Twilight: This song makes me want to go back home and fuck the Steve Orbit doll.
FPV: This song makes me want to Goomba stomp Sado and Kira... at the same time.
Sarah Twilight: A double Goomba Stomp? That’s unheard of.
FPV: I’m all about making dreams come true, babygurl.
Sarah Twilight: Yeah, but at the same time?
FPV: It’s not that unlikely. I just say, goomba stomp Sado and then bounce off her head and goomba stomp Kira.
Sarah Twilight: That’s a lot of goomba stomping.
FPV: Lot of goombas.
Sarah Twilight: What is it with them anyway?
FPV: Goombas?
Sarah Twilight: No. Kira and Sado. Asian people. I mean.. which one is the girl? This is a mixed gender match.
FPV: You’re questioning someone else’s gender?
Sarah Twilight: Uh.. yeah.
And then the little bastard broke out into a hysterical laughter. His sense of humor was downright confusing. I complemented the different ways of how someone could or would find humor in that. Whatever. I’d try to enjoy this show for now, and the GEW show. It was all about shits and giggles this week.
SHOOT TO THRUST SIDE A
I want my
I want my
I want myMTVFPV
Was he sleeping? Yes. He was. It was three in the morning. Sarah Twilight’s face crept up into the corner of FPV’s bedroom window. His hair raggy and tangled from climbing through bushes. Sarah’s make-up hadn’t been done in what appeared to be day’s maybe. Thick glops of dark blue eye shadow smeared recklessly around his eye sockets. A finger joined in near his face and he tapped a long nail onto the windows glass.
Sarah Twilight: F.. P.. V-vvvv.
Sarah’s lips twitched upwards to form a slight smile, before he called to ‘FPV’ again. This time screaming in a hysterical voice.
Sarah Twilight: FPV!
By all that is holy and wholesome in this world, FPV should not have woken up to answer that voice. He couldn't quite recognize it, but his curiosity got the best of him, as he slowly opened his eyes to peek out his window, seeing a blurry red figure.
FPV: Wh-wha?
The figure became more clear to him, and as soon as he realized who it was...
FPV: WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?
Sarah Twilight: AHHH.
Sarah scrambled back from the window, falling over into a sticker bush.
Sarah Twilight: Fuckin’ fuck -
And then Sarah rolled out of the bush and onto the lawn, back and forth on his back mimicking that of a person on fire.
Sarah Twilight: It hurts, FPV. Help me!
FPV: Uh..
An indecisive moment kept FPV standing there, looking out the window and watching his former treachery partner roll around the lawn in panic.
FPV: Okay!
And he was off rushing to aid Sarah… in some way. Outside now, FPV appeared from around the corner of the house with a water hose in his hand, blasting the disoriented Sarah with cold water from the hoses gun nuzzle.
FPV: You okay...uh, Sarah.
Although FPV knew full well that that wasn't really Sarah Twilight, he still figured going along with Logan's charade was probably the wisest choice as he looked at the damp Twilight.
FPV: If I may ask...why exactly are you hiding outside my window?
Sarah stood to his feet, shaking the water off him like a dog would.
Sarah Twilight: I'm here tonight to address the big elephant in the room, because this needs to be said. We're working together this week, and I know you're probably attracted to me... who isn't?
FPV: Actually... no -
Sarah Twilight: - let me finish. I came here to personally tell you that my 'Twilight Zone'.
Sarah peered down to his own crotch then back up to FPV.
Sarah Twilight: Is off limits. I'm a one man kind of woman. My heart belongs to Steve Orbit. Sorry to break it to you like that...
Shaking his head, FPV pointed the hose at Sarah's face and sprayed him a little more. After the hosing ended, Sarah Twilight simply blinked his eyes.
FPV: Ladyboy, I could not care less if your snatch belonged to that pimp, if it doesn't help win matches, then I'm not interested in it. And secondly, I don't NEED a chick at all in my life. Sure, I'll have the odd one night stand every once in a while, but that's about it. I don't feel the need for any domestic partners, inside the ring or out of it. So yeah, you can rest assured your "Twilight Zone" is gonna stay just peachy.
After saying that, FPV began to scheme up new ideas, as his mind wandered between different things, one idea stood out in particular.
FPV: Now of course, if you want to go an do something as friends, you know, bonding before our match, I'm down with that. In fact..., I happen to know a pretty cool deal going on downtown later tomorrow if you're willing and able...
After wiping the last bit of water out of his eyes, Sarah gave FPV a questioning look.
Sarah Twilight: You certainly know how to peak a lady's interest. What kind of deal is this? Is this one of those witch-hunt deals, cause if it is you can just go back inside your house and go back to bed, cause I don't want any part of it.
FPV: Oh no...not at all. It's just a good ole' fashioned rock 'n roll show, I think you'll like it.
Sarah Twilight: Is it Evanescence?
FPV: Even better.
Sarah raised an eyebrow at Franky, surprised by his choice of words.
Sarah Twilight: Not many bands can claim to be better than Evanescence. Whatever you got planned better be damned amazing.
FPV cocked that sly smile of his that got him so much cooch in high school, confident his plan would work.
FPV: Just trust me on this, I think you'll like it!
20 HOURS LATER...
10 o' clock P.M. The perfect time for a rock concert. Even if it's just a small scale one like the one FPV had brought Sarah Twilight to. They were standing near the back of the convention center amongst the crowd of people who had gathered for tonight's show. Sarah wore a large pair of shades to cover her eyes, FPV wore a custom made black and white shirt with black "X"s on his left pectoral. The band supposed to be playing was billed as "Foxboro Hot Tubs," or at least, that's what the poster said. Sarah was getting restless for the band to come out.
Sarah Twilight: Man, what's taking these bitches so long, I got shit to do!
FPV: Relax...they'll be out here soon enough.
What FPV knew that Sarah didn't was that the whole Foxboro Hot Tubs deal was all just a ruse...a placeholder for something much more than merely songs about getting it on. As the lights went down, a few fans began to cheer, but then once people found out who was really coming out, everyone got up on their feet.
Billie Joe Armstong, Mike Dirnt, and Tre Cool.
BJA: HELLO PENNSYLVANIA, WE ARE GREEN DAY!
Back at the back, Sarah did not seem impressed by the display.
Sarah Twilight: Really? You brought me all the way out here to see fucking Green Day?
FPV: Hey, the old Logan I knew used to love Green Day!
Sarah Twilight: well I hate to break it to ya, punk, but I ain't no goddamn Logan. I'm Sarah Fucking Twilight. I don't know why people keep saying I'm this Logan dude, but I don't like it.
FPV: Fine, be that way. Me, I'm gonna' listen to some tunes.
Back at the stage...
BJA: Allright you guys, our first song tonight is the first songoff our new album Uno! This is Nuclear Family, let's go!
At that moment Billie Joe strummed his guitar with such force and precision that even people that weren't into the band were forced to take notice. Soon enough the others joined in on the punk rock shenanigans as Billie Joe began to sing.
Gonna ride the world like a merry-go-round
Like a ferris wheel like it's breaking down
Drinking angel's piss, gonna crash and burn
I just want some action so gimme my turn!
Back at the back...FPV began to hop up and down in excitement, the inner teenage girl in him coming out rather embarrassingly.
FPV: WOOOO!
Sarah Twilight: Oh, brother.
Like a Chinese company conspiracy
It's the death of a nuclear family staring up at you
It's looking like another bad comedy
Just as long as it comes in hi-fidelity for me too
While FPV was continuing to have a blast, Twilight began to show her discontent with the music she was hearing.
Sarah Twilight: What the hell is this shit? You bitches call this music?!
Not that far from Twilight, a tough looking man, about 6 foot 3 and 230 pounds of almost nothing but muscle, turned to Twilight's direction, seemingly offended by his comment.
Punk: What you say?
Twilight walked to the man, staring him in the face, as both cold gazes met in a showdown for the ages.
Sarah Twilight: You heard me right. You gonna' do anything about it?
Punk: Oh I'm gonna do something about it, Ladyman!
Sarah Twilight: Motherfucker, I'm going to destroy you just like I'm gonna' destroy those asian kids Sunday!
The man raised a slightly confused eyebrow at twilight for a moment. Apparently, he didn't know about WCF or Shoot to Thrill. No matter, he was still bent on beating the living piss out of Twilight. FPV had stopped bouncing around long enough to notice what was wrong, and immediately got between the two.
FPV: (nervously) Hey now, this is a rock concert now, it's supposed to be all peace and fun times, eh. Remember woodstock? Right? RIGHT?!
Punk: Fuck that, I'm turning this into Woodstock '99! I'M GONNA' BREAK SHIT!
And just like that, BAM! The two began to brawl in the middle of the crowd, who at first didn't seem to notice the chaos. While this obviously wasn't the punk's first rodeo (he managed to handle himself pretty well in the fight), Twilight's wrestling background began to be too much for him, as he became locked in Twilight's signature "Spellbound" submission hold.
Sarah Twilight: TAP YOU LITTLE BITCH!
Punk: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!
While the order began to unravel in the crowd, as the band finished up their first song, Bille Joe turned to his bandmates to discuss the matter at hand.
BJA: Guys...there's a dude in drag beating up another dude in the crowd.
Mike: I know man, weird.
Tre: I think it's friggin' hilarious!
BJA: You guys thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
The other two nodded, as Billie Jow gave the signal, a saxophone player, a trumpet player, and a trombone player, all decked in ridiculous hats and fur coats, walked on stage from behind the curtains. The fans still paying attention to the band screamed their little hearts out, as they knew what this meant.
BJA: KING! FOR! A! DAAAAAAAAAAAAY!~!
The horn players came in, bustin' out ridiculously excited and happy sounds as BJA began hopping up and down the stage like a bunny rabbit as he sang.
Started at the age of 4.
My mother went to the grocery store.
Went sneaking through her bedroom door
to find something in a size 4.
The whole made for quite the weird soundtrack to the punishment Twilight was inflicting as he released the half-dead punk from the hold, raising her fists at the crowd that had gathered around her.
Sarah Twilight: ANY ONE ELSE WANT SOME, HUH?!?!
The crowd was all too happy to oblige, as a literal army of screaming angry punks rained down upon Twilight and FPV, who was being dragged into this to protect both himself and Twilight for Sunday.
FPV: THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!
Sarah Twilight: IT'S CALLED HAVING FUN, YOU SHOULD TRY IT OUT, IT'S....
Twilight kicked one punk in the nads, making his voice a soprano and sending him backwards through the crowd.
Sarah Twilight: FAAAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS!
As the battle raged on on the concert floor, the song continued as if nothing was happening.
Sugar and spice and everything nice
wasn't made for only girls.
GI Joe in panty hose
is making room for the one and only.
KING FOR A DAY!
Princess by dawn!
KING FOR A DAY
In a leather thong!
KING FOR DAY!
Princess by dawn!
Just wait till all the guys get a load of me!
As The Battle of Green Day waged on, both FPV and Twilight began to be hopelessly out numbered as more and more punks began piling up on them. The two wrestlers were barely able to keep up with the enemy.
FPV: WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GONNA' DO?!
Sarah Twilight: I DON'T KNOW, USE YOUR LIMIT BREAK OR SOMETHING!
FPV: I CAN'T, THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM!
And then, just as all hope seemed lost for our heroes, a savior suddenly appeared, pushing open the doors to the arena loudly as he stepped in the building. His presence made everyone stop in their tracks to see him, even the band stopped playing to see who this was. While the cast on his leg was still fresh, he was still mobile, and the very fact that he was here tonight shocked FPV.
Everyone: MOTHERFUCKING DANNY?!
Indeed, Motherfucking Danny stood their proudly, as he gazed upon the paused chaos in front of him. As he looked around, he came into eye contact with FPV, and although FPV was nervous that Danny would be coming after after what he did to him on Slam two weeks ago, Danny merely gave him a wink, as if saying "Don't sweat it bro, I forgive you." He then turned his attention to FPV and Twilight's attackers.
Danny: Guess what? My mom gives me a better blowjob then your mom!
To say that all hell broke loose after he said that would be an understatement. The punks all turned their attention to Danny and began to pummel the living shit out of him. In between screams of pain, Danny yelled out to Twilight and FPV.
Danny: Get out..while you still can...GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!
As bones could be heard snapping from Danny's fragile body, Twilight grabbed FPV by the wrist and dragged him out the convention center quicker than a speeding bullet.
THE AFTERMATH...
The two were walking down the street next to a McDonalds and a gas station. FPV still seemed to be in shock from Danny's sacrifice.
FPV: I can't believe it. That man sacrificed himself so that you and me could survive, even after what I did to him. I just...I just don't believe it.
Sarah Twilight: Well you should. People like him are easily disposable, so you shouldn't beat yourself up over it.
FPV: Wow...what a dick thing to say.
Sarah Twilight: Hey, I'm sorry but that's just the way it is. He's disposable, just like that Kira dude and his old lady.
FPV: Okay, I gotta' call bull on that. Kira's an awesome wrestler, in my opinion...
Sarah Twilight: Sucking your opponents dick isn't going to win our match this Sunday, so you gotta promise me you're going to do everything in your power to make sure those two walk out of New Orleans like a bitch on moonshine, you hear me?
FPV didn't want to say yes, he had too much respect for Kira, but after what happened tonight, he didn't want to get on Twilight's bad side.
FPV: Fine.
Sarah Twilight: Good. Now if you'll excuse, I gotta' whiz, you mind holding my purse?
FPV: Sure.
Twilight handed her bag to FPV as he sprinted into the gas station. As FPV looked through the contents of the bag, he noticed what appeared to be a medicine container, with a whole lot of red pills inside. Curious, he took it out and examined the bottle.
FPV: Pall Red. Hmm, maybe this is what's fuckin' Logan up. I better grab a couple of these things for research.
FPV quickly unscrewed the cap and took about 4 or 5 pills from it before putting the cap back an and sticking it back in Twilight's purse, sticking the tablets in his pocket. As soon as he did, Twilight came walking out the door.
Sarah Twilight: Man, those chicks in the ladies room were giving me some reeeeeally weird looks.
FPV: After what you've gone through tonight, I wouldn't be surprised.
Sarah Twilight: Hmph. Well anyway, gotta go. Thanks for the ride and all that mushy jazz, I'll see you in New Orleans. OH, and thanks for holding my purse for me.
Twilight quickly snatched his purse from FPV's hands.
Sarah Twilight: Later.
Twilight began to walk away from FPV, who turned around the opposite direction, walking into the McDonalds for a quick midnight snack.
FPV: I swear to freaking god I work for a goddamn madhouse.
SHOOT TO THRUST SIDE B
“This song makes me want to Goomba stomp Sado and Kira... at the same time.” – Shoot To Thrust Side B
“This song makes me want to Goomba stomp Sado and Kira... at the same time.” – Shoot To Thrust Side B
His emotionless doll face darker than his skin yet beautiful lied over the pillow of my bed. Two weeks ago I arranged with a doll company to make me a life-like replica of Steve Orbit, and now here he was in my bed, without dolly clothes. The bedroom didn’t end there of Orbit relations; no my walls were spackled in heavy glue and various cut out photos of WCF’s pimp. Candles surrounding and highlighting the Orbit shrine smelt like strawberries. The same whiff my nostrils took in when the two of us first met in that massage parlor. I myself was just as naked as the doll other than the leopard leather thong and bra tightly hugging my feminine parts. We laid there together, looking up at the ceiling that also hid behind heavy glops of glue and Steve Orbit photographs.
Sarah Twilight: If sex with a doll version of you is this good, then I might just have to kidnap you sometime soon. Unless we can make you a real boy, Pinocchio.
Reaching over onto my nightstand, I found my package of Marlboro Reds and matches. Smoking was without a doubt bad for one’s health. My way of avoiding cancer was only having one on special occasions; like this one, having sex with a custom made doll of Steve Orbit.
Sarah Twilight: Wouldn’t you think so?
Blowing the cigarette smoke away from the dolls face, because that was just rude, I grabbed at his rubber hinged jar and flapped the dolls mouth open and closed, mimicking an Orbit voice.
Doll Orbit: Yes, Sarah. That’s a great idea. You always have great ideas, because you’re the only one who matters… to me.
I blushed.
Sarah Twilight: Oh, Stevie…
Interrupting our afternoon romance, my bedroom door burst open revealing FPV in the doorway. He had an excited look on his face at first, maybe he came with the anticipation of bearing good news, but when he seen our current development… he looked away and made an awkward grunt.
Sarah Twilight: Frank!
Pulling the sheet up over me and the Steve Orbit doll to cover our exposed nature.
FPV: Sorry!
Sarah Twilight: Don’t you knock?
FPV: You showed up at my place the other night like a creeper in the window out of a slasher movie.
Sarah Twilight: But… I knocked.
FPV: Ah nevermind.. this is probably a bad time. I’ll come back later.
Sarah Twilight: Or you could join us.
FPV: What?
Sarah Twilight: I’ve never had a three-way before.
FPV: SARAH!
Sarah Twilight: WHAT?!
FPV: I have tickets to the Foxboro Hot Tubs.
Sarah Twilight: Again?
FPV: Yes, but this time.. it’s in a basement!
I did like basements.
Sarah Twilight: Okay. Let me get dressed and stuff.
Before doing so I leaned over into the Orbit dolls face and placed a sweet kiss on his rubber forehead.
Sarah Twilight: Goodbye, Daddy. See you soon.
FPV: What the…
Fuck. A few hours and a couple of tequilas later, Frankie and I were jammed pack in the middle of screaming shambles of kids and various other drunkards of all ages.
I’m a beggar but I don’t want a dime
Ohhhh ahhhhh
Oh baby-baby it’s FUCK TIME!
Sarah Twilight: This song makes me want to go back home and fuck the Steve Orbit doll.
FPV: This song makes me want to Goomba stomp Sado and Kira... at the same time.
Sarah Twilight: A double Goomba Stomp? That’s unheard of.
FPV: I’m all about making dreams come true, babygurl.
Sarah Twilight: Yeah, but at the same time?
FPV: It’s not that unlikely. I just say, goomba stomp Sado and then bounce off her head and goomba stomp Kira.
Sarah Twilight: That’s a lot of goomba stomping.
FPV: Lot of goombas.
Sarah Twilight: What is it with them anyway?
FPV: Goombas?
Sarah Twilight: No. Kira and Sado. Asian people. I mean.. which one is the girl? This is a mixed gender match.
FPV: You’re questioning someone else’s gender?
Sarah Twilight: Uh.. yeah.
And then the little bastard broke out into a hysterical laughter. His sense of humor was downright confusing. I complemented the different ways of how someone could or would find humor in that. Whatever. I’d try to enjoy this show for now, and the GEW show. It was all about shits and giggles this week.
