Post by Ryan Blake on Jun 6, 2012 21:31:24 GMT -5
E.B.R. #1 - Having Plans
I fucking love having plans man, I really do. Waiting for the time you have the plans sucks, but just the thought that nothing can stop you. It’s like, “Hey, wanna go watch paint dry!?” and you’re all, “Nah bruh, i have plans.” Have you ever noticed that if you have plans with a girl, your tone changes? It’s like, you’d have an official tone if you were hanging out with your dude friends. But with girls, your voice cracks, you have a rapist’s smile, and everyone else is just like, “Aawh I see what’s up.” My plans for this weekend are to goto a comedy club, and then watch all three Lord of the Rings movies. They’re nothing fancy but I won’t be home. For some reason, when I’m not going to be home, everyone’s fucking ecstatic. It’s like, “Aw man, you’re going out somewhere!? That sucks!” and in their mind they’re all, “Fuck yea, we’re going to Vagas!” That’s what I picture anyway. That explains why the house smells like sweat and booze afterwards. I always thought it was just Drunk Santa. There’s not a lot you can’t blame on Drunk Santa. It explains why your shit is missing, or moved, or if you have more shit, or if all your shit smells like vodka. It’s like, “Hey man, I’m missing a 50…?” “IT WAS DRUNK SANTA” “Really? Did Drunk Santa bring home seven boxes of pizza too?” “No, he left them.”
I fucking love having plans man, I really do. Waiting for the time you have the plans sucks, but just the thought that nothing can stop you. It’s like, “Hey, wanna go watch paint dry!?” and you’re all, “Nah bruh, i have plans.” Have you ever noticed that if you have plans with a girl, your tone changes? It’s like, you’d have an official tone if you were hanging out with your dude friends. But with girls, your voice cracks, you have a rapist’s smile, and everyone else is just like, “Aawh I see what’s up.” My plans for this weekend are to goto a comedy club, and then watch all three Lord of the Rings movies. They’re nothing fancy but I won’t be home. For some reason, when I’m not going to be home, everyone’s fucking ecstatic. It’s like, “Aw man, you’re going out somewhere!? That sucks!” and in their mind they’re all, “Fuck yea, we’re going to Vagas!” That’s what I picture anyway. That explains why the house smells like sweat and booze afterwards. I always thought it was just Drunk Santa. There’s not a lot you can’t blame on Drunk Santa. It explains why your shit is missing, or moved, or if you have more shit, or if all your shit smells like vodka. It’s like, “Hey man, I’m missing a 50…?” “IT WAS DRUNK SANTA” “Really? Did Drunk Santa bring home seven boxes of pizza too?” “No, he left them.”
