Post by FPV on Apr 12, 2012 22:28:02 GMT -5
Most every kids favorite holiday is Christmas. You would think that the celebration of the birth of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ would be what Christmas is about. You would think it would warm peoples hearts and make preachers happy as a rainbow. Unfourtunatly, people are cold unfeeling dicks, preachers are pedophiles who only smile for little boys, and children only care about what presents they will be getting this year.
Yes, christmas time is when children can get the expensive shit their parents wouldn't give to them at any other time of the year. This is the time to get that expensive Xbox 360 or Playstation 3 all the cool kids have, now it's YOUR turn to kick their ass at Call of Duty, or Battlefield 3, or whatever other game is your specialty.
The wrestling business works a little bit differently. Sure, there's the cool kids, aka the world champions, and the Xbox 360, the fucking World Championship. What's not so different is that when you don't have something you want, you don't wait till a specific day to get it, you tend to just TAKE it by force. Doesn't matter who pouts or whines or crys like a child, you take it, no matter what. The problem is, after you take it, just like how parents will goad you into giving something back that you stole from someone else, other wrestlers will want to take that same title off of you, just like how you took it off the original champion. And so on and so forth, the cycle continuing, never ending.
Let's take for example Super FPV. For the longest time FPV has been running apeshit all over the WCF. He's beaten the best, and he's held The Tag Titles twice, and The United States title once. In short, people know he means business. And yet, he has not been givin a World title shot as of today. So, how do you think a man of FPVs calibur would go about getting the World Title?
Simple. He just...takes it!
Yes, christmas time is when children can get the expensive shit their parents wouldn't give to them at any other time of the year. This is the time to get that expensive Xbox 360 or Playstation 3 all the cool kids have, now it's YOUR turn to kick their ass at Call of Duty, or Battlefield 3, or whatever other game is your specialty.
The wrestling business works a little bit differently. Sure, there's the cool kids, aka the world champions, and the Xbox 360, the fucking World Championship. What's not so different is that when you don't have something you want, you don't wait till a specific day to get it, you tend to just TAKE it by force. Doesn't matter who pouts or whines or crys like a child, you take it, no matter what. The problem is, after you take it, just like how parents will goad you into giving something back that you stole from someone else, other wrestlers will want to take that same title off of you, just like how you took it off the original champion. And so on and so forth, the cycle continuing, never ending.
Let's take for example Super FPV. For the longest time FPV has been running apeshit all over the WCF. He's beaten the best, and he's held The Tag Titles twice, and The United States title once. In short, people know he means business. And yet, he has not been givin a World title shot as of today. So, how do you think a man of FPVs calibur would go about getting the World Title?
Simple. He just...takes it!
We are now thrust upon a Japanese nightclub, which bears a very uncanny resemblence to the ToT nightclub back in the states. People are still lining up to get inside. Da Funk is not DJing however, instead some new up and coming J-Pop band is up there, and the patrons don't seem to care much about them at all, they're just here for the booze and the tail. And just like the ToT nightclub, this one has a secret exit beneath the stage
The camera takes us to the underground, beneath the stage and it's secret little hidey hole. Inside, we can see that a single lightbulb is illuminating the entire room enough for the people inside to see, and the music from the nightclub can be faintly heard in the background. In the middle of the room is a large circular table, with multiple seats around it, perfect for setting up meetings and such. In fact, one of those meatings is going on right now. In the middle of the table (at least from our point of view) is Super FPV, taking a swig of Diet Coke, reclining in his chair. To his left is his old friend John (better known to GWC fans as former jobber Johnny Nova), who seems to be spacing out at the moment. To FPVs right we have Da Funk, who is gulping down a large amount of Sake. John initiates a new conversation between the three.
John: Dude, I can't thank you enough for letting me come with you to Japan, you know how much I've wanted t ocome here!
Da Funk: For reals man, this place is outta' SIGHT!
FPV: Don't mention it dudes, my pleasure. I need a little treacherous company while I'm away from the ToT. And thank you Funk, for being able to FIND this chapter of the Church, I didn't even know they had chapters around the world!
Da Funks wipes Sake off his face and laughs.
Da Funk: You'd be surprised how many chapters there are. The church is bigger then you think it is.
Da Funk casually winks to FPV, who rather then dwell on that any further, simply carries on.
FPV: So, while we're here, we might as well discuss something. What's on your mind, fellas?
John: Well, have you seen Gravediggers newest promo yet?
FPV lets out a heavy sigh, and looks down on the table, examining it's dirt spots.
FPV: That I did my friends, and you KNOW that I got something on my mind to say about it!
Da Funk: Well, we a'int doing mch else, might as well get your thoughts out to the world.
FPV: And I don't suppose you have some recording device on you at the moment?
Da Funk: Yes. Yes I would.
Da Funk reaches into his pocket and takes out a digital recording device, small so it can fit in his pocket. Attached to it is a small microphone. Da Funk places it in the middle of the table.
Da Funk: Just push the button and say what you wanna' say. Simple as that. When you're done, there's a USB cable to it you can use to upload to the internet.
FPV smiles, and then presses the "ON" button.
FPV: What's up babygurls? This FPV, coming to ya from Akihabara, Japan, and I just gotta say up front how AWESOME this place is! When I landed and got a ride to my hotel room, I saw just how cool this place was. Ole' Kira Sakazaki showed me around his old stomping grounds, and gave me some Japanese words he'd thought I'd like to know. So far the citizens here have been real kind to me, and I am so grateful to them.
Unfourtunatly, as much as I want to believe that this is a vacation, I still have a job to do, and I intend on doing it well. My job, you ask?
MURDER GRAVEDIGGER.
I swear to all that is holy, and even to all that is unholy, this boudle just won't shut up! I thought I had put him in his place when I put up my last promo, but I guess he's just stupid or he's just a glutton for punishment. Or both, it doesn't really matter to me. The only thing that matters to me right now is beating his ass at XIII, and you have my word, WCF, I WILL break him, torture him in ways he has never felt before, simply put, I WILL END YOU!
You rag on me, saying that you're the one putting the asses in seats, that you're the one who people want to see. I fucking call bullshit on that. First off, who the fuck would want to buy your merch? I sure as hell wouldn't want my kid wearing an old mans t-shirt. All the playground bullies wearing the actual cool guy merch would beat him up everyday and make fun of his shirt. Fuck, even I would beat my kid if he asked me to buy him a Gravedigger shirt. Also, Gravedigger, ratings, really?! You think you actually get people to watch WCF, that's pure unleaded bull crap my friend. 3-time world champion? Yeah, that's good and all, but let me ask you something 'Diggs, how long have you been here in WCF? Most of it's life, is that not correct? Then why are you still here? You think you still pull in ratings week after werk. No. No you don't. Do you want to know why? It's because people don't to watch an old boudle like you, you've become stale, you've become boooooring. People don't give a shit about you anymore, you're not exciting anymore, you expect me to believe that you're some kind of monster when I know for a FACT that you use hair dye to cover up all dem grey hairs you don't want the world to see. Just admit that no one gives a shit about you anymore, for your sake, please.
Another thing you said was that I had never been in a hardcore style match in WCF. MOTHERFUCKER, ARE YOU GOING BLIND OR SENILE?!?! My second ever match in WCF was a triple-threat match against Greenfever and John Thomas, at Timebomb 2011, I fucking know how hardcore works around, I have the experiance. Also, as a side-note, what exactly did you do at Timebomb that year? Ah yes, I remember now, you were FUCKING LOSING TO ROY MOTHERFUCKING SPEEDE!! Haha, don't think I forgot about that, you fucking loser, you fucking lost to Roy Speede, the biggest boudle in the history of the boudle-verse known as the WCF, and you lose to him. Bravo, fucking BRAVO. You just won the award for biggest choke of the year! Apparently, losing to Roy was so traumatic that you had to quit the WCF for a time. Despair had overtaken you, you felt weak! You knew damn well that a new era of WCF was upon you, and that you wanted out as fast as you could. So you pussied out and ran away like a lostpuppy. You still expect me to take you seriously? Shut the hell up, boudle.
In the middle of your long, senile ranting, however you did bring up one actual fact: thw fact that I have not won a World Title in my WCF career. However, let me ask you something else. How long, pray tell, did it take you to win your first World title? Or Logan, or even someone like Slickie T or Skyler Striker? It took most of them almost a yesr to get that damn gold. And believe me, my time is coming. I don't careif the US title I'll win at Aftermath holds me down, after I'm done with Roy, my next target is gonna be that motherfucking World Title. Because if Seth doesn't see the talent in me soon, we are gonna have some major fucking issues right here. And I have just the way to get that World Title shot: the Trios cup. Seth said that the person who gets the deciding pin in the finals gets a world title shot. And I fully fucking intend on getting that fall, wheather my team-mates like it or not. Besides, Jeff Purse and Nathon von Liebert as tag champions would be pretty cool in my book.
That's what's in my future. My present will consist of me just UTTERLY destroying you. And your future? After I'm done with you, you won't even HAVE a future. Be fucking ready to die, you motherfucking boudle! Be FUCKING ready!
FPV turns off the recording device and takes another drink of his Diet Coke.
