Slam Aftermath

[Jeff Purse]

The scene opens up in the locker room, Kari sitting on a bench, cross legged, face in her hands. Jeff is loudly showering, aka showering and shouting things.

Jeff: THIS IS RIDICULOUS, I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET CLEAN AGAIN!!!

Kari: Yes you will.

Jeff: No I will NOT! AHHHHH!

Kari: Whats wrong?

Jeff: I turned down the cold water, its just hot now. AHH!

Kari: Why?

Jeff: BECAUSE HOT WATER CLEANS!! ITS NOT WORKING KARI, GET THE BLEACH!!

Kari: For the last time, you are not bleaching yourself Jeff.

Jeff: Cheese grater! Get the cheese grater! I will grate this shit off!

Hank Brown enters the room. He listens for a minute, then addresses Kari.

Hank: Kari, please tell us, it was just soda, why is Jeff freaking out?

Kari: Are you kidding, Hank? This is why I don't let you talk to Jeff ever, you are a dumb ass. Jeff has SEVERE OCD, Hank. You asshole. This is one of the most horrible things that Speede could do to him. Roy Speede, I hope you know what you just did. Once Jeff is out of the shower...if Jeff gets out of the shower, you are going to get it. Get out NOW Hank!

Kari shoves Hank Brown out of the locker room.

[Speede]

After hearing about how Jeff Purse had an OCD about remaining clean, and freaked out over the glass of root beer, Roy Speede had this to say on the matter.

"Damn, I didn't realize Purse was this scared of a bit of soda. I mean, I got ninety-nine problems, but... Well, you know how the saying goes."