Post by Gage Gannon on Jan 19, 2012 21:41:12 GMT -5
The scene opens up as we are inside of Gage's personal gymnasium as WCF camera's catch up to Gage Gannon. Gage stops what he is doing and hops down out of the ring irate as he grabs one of the cameramen and looks them right in the eye.....
Gage: Let's get one thing straight, I went into last week's television championship match with the expectation that I was going to win, but I came up short against.....Johnny Fly. And as much as I would hate to say it he was the better man that night, but something is bothering me. You see I lose two matches, I put out outstanding efforts in both matches but all of a sudden this week I'm bumped back down to the first card of the match in an "exhibition match" that I have no business being in, in the first place. You have me teaming with Deavin Bennett of the GLS against Tek a man whom I have already beat, and Yukon Jack a man who is still looking to win his first match.
Gage: Now I don't know where the hell this is going but this is just weird to me, because I am marginally better than every last single one of those people that I am sharing the ring with. I'm better than Tek, I proved that in my first match when I beat him. I'm better than Yukon Jack, because anybody with that name deserves to have their ass beat on a constant basis. And I'm simply better, better everything than GLS. I'm better looking, more charismatic, more charming, more threatening than three guys running around here paying to say that they beat up people. Hey I have something for you GLS, no matter what the outcome of the match you say it is, we still saw you get your ass handed to you in the middle of that.......
Gage:......wait a minute.......oh no........static........static..........The following message is brought to you by the GL........oh put a sock in it it's been done already!!! Nobody gives a damn about the GLS!!! Your not threatening, your not intimidating, hell if anything your a joke. It's not that people are afraid of you GLS that they won't come out and fight you, but it's more like a waist of time. More like a "OH NO HERE COMES THESE CLOWNS AGAIN" You wanna know something it annoys the hell out of me, because all of these "characters" that come into the WCF with these unbelievable "gimmicks" and somehow...they think that it is going to get them any respect.....
Gage just looks annoyed as he looks into the camera...
Gage: Give me a fucking break!!!! Like this guy...uh uh what's his name Yukon Jack!!! Yeah this jabroni wants to talk shit about Gage Gannon! He's had my name in his mouth ever since I debuted here in the WCF!! Yeah but yet this guy is the first one to criticize me after I lose a match! As a matter of fact, this guy hasn't even one a match yet!! So what does this nasty filthy looking bastard do? He calls Martha Stewart, he calls Jeanie Craig, hell he even calls Oprah and prays to Tom Cruise that he will find his winning days!! BULL SHIT!! BULL SHIT!!!
Gage's eyes get wide as he just looks into the camera and stares into astonishment!!!
Gage: I'll tell you one thing, if you think that I'm going to be the sap that Yukon Jack actually beats you have another thing coming!! That's not even a no, it's more like an OH HELL NO!!! I refuse to be beat by a guy who isn't even good enough to shine my shoes!!! Yukon Jack make no mistake about it, you can get all the training that you want, you can play the inspirational music, and you can have that eye of the tiger look, you can eat all of the slim fast yogurt, you can do yoga, hell you can even lose all of the weight that you want too, you fat bastard but make absolutely no mistake about it, your losing ways continue this week!! Even if I have to bitch slap these nWo wannabe's into actually showing that they can wrestle!!! Hell, even if Gage Gannon has to put these sorry sons a bitch's on my back I will carry this ONE TIME ONLY, and I repeat SETH I HOPE YOUR LISTENING, I DO MEAN ONE TIME ONLY team to a victory. Because I refuse to lose to Yukon Jack and Tek, which brings me to the graveyard digging son of a bitch!!!
Gage: Oh yeah Tek the guy who does the same promo each week!!! Tek I'm going to do you a favor!!! I'm actually going to do your promo for you! Yes that's right ladies and gentlemen for the first time ever I am going to do a "promo within a promo!" Here it goes.......
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I NOW PRESENT TO YOU.....TEK'S PROMO!!!!
Gage: (In narrator's voice) The scene cuts to a graveyard!! It's a darkkk night!!! The moon isn't out!!! Nobody can see anything for miles, as a matter of fact you can't even see your hand in front of your face!! Wait a minute, what's this? Our dastardly villain is up to no good again!!! I count 1 2, I count 3 tombstones!!! But why three? Hopefully Tek will be able to explain it to us!!!!!
Gage: (In Tek's Voice) Here I am again!! Unoriginal, and doing the same shit I do week in and week out!!!! I'm digging three graves!! The first grave is for Deaven Bennett!!! Deaven Bennett!!! Your an easy win because based on how much I saw the GLS wrestle in their first match I must say you absolutely suck!!!
DA DA DA (Cue dastardly music)
Gage (In Tek Voice) Unveil the apron on the tombstone and it's.....oh no that gravestone has Deaven Bennett's name on it!! This will be your final resting place!!!
Gage: And then the storm and lightning affects hit and Tek removes the veil from the second tombstone to show Gage Gannon!!!!
Gage: (Tek Voice) Gage even though I know you are better than me in every single way possible, I'm still going to act like I have a chance of being remotely as gifted as you are in the ring. So this is actually the same tombstone I used from our first match, I scratched out the wrong name and put your name....oh oh Gage by the way I'm sorry about that I was still on high from sucking JOEL HALL's cock!!! Please forgive me!!!
Gage (In Narrator's Voice) And then Tek removes the veil from the third tombstone aND IT SHOWSSSSSSSSSSS.................Tek's career?
Gage: (In Narrator's Voice) I'm lost!!!!
Gage: (In Tek's Voice) Yes sadly this is the resting place of my career!! I'm the original Yukon Jack!! Before he actually got here and replaced me as the worst wrestler in WCF History!!! Sadly I've been looking for my career ever since I came to the WCF!! It seems like the more I lose, the more I'll never find it!!!
Gage: And then all of a sudden out of nowhere Gage Gannon comes and kicks your ass into the third tombstone!!! And then I start piling the dirt on top of your grave Tek because you are a mistake that even your momma and daddy don't want to claim!!! I'm tired of you jokes coming into the ring, and acting like you are on the same level as I am!!! I told you a few weeks ago nothing would ever be the same, well this week I can't say that Tek and Yukon Jack, because you losing still is!!! ut I can guarantee you that I'm going to win this match by a mile!!!! Because it's not that I take you lightly, but with my eyes closed, me hobbling on one foot, and with one armed tied behind my back the proof is in the pooding I AM BETTER THAN YOU!!!! And I've decided that this week I'm going to start acting like it!!!!
Gage: Welcome to your worse nightmare Mother Fuckers!!!!!!
Gage: Let's get one thing straight, I went into last week's television championship match with the expectation that I was going to win, but I came up short against.....Johnny Fly. And as much as I would hate to say it he was the better man that night, but something is bothering me. You see I lose two matches, I put out outstanding efforts in both matches but all of a sudden this week I'm bumped back down to the first card of the match in an "exhibition match" that I have no business being in, in the first place. You have me teaming with Deavin Bennett of the GLS against Tek a man whom I have already beat, and Yukon Jack a man who is still looking to win his first match.
Gage: Now I don't know where the hell this is going but this is just weird to me, because I am marginally better than every last single one of those people that I am sharing the ring with. I'm better than Tek, I proved that in my first match when I beat him. I'm better than Yukon Jack, because anybody with that name deserves to have their ass beat on a constant basis. And I'm simply better, better everything than GLS. I'm better looking, more charismatic, more charming, more threatening than three guys running around here paying to say that they beat up people. Hey I have something for you GLS, no matter what the outcome of the match you say it is, we still saw you get your ass handed to you in the middle of that.......
Gage:......wait a minute.......oh no........static........static..........The following message is brought to you by the GL........oh put a sock in it it's been done already!!! Nobody gives a damn about the GLS!!! Your not threatening, your not intimidating, hell if anything your a joke. It's not that people are afraid of you GLS that they won't come out and fight you, but it's more like a waist of time. More like a "OH NO HERE COMES THESE CLOWNS AGAIN" You wanna know something it annoys the hell out of me, because all of these "characters" that come into the WCF with these unbelievable "gimmicks" and somehow...they think that it is going to get them any respect.....
Gage just looks annoyed as he looks into the camera...
Gage: Give me a fucking break!!!! Like this guy...uh uh what's his name Yukon Jack!!! Yeah this jabroni wants to talk shit about Gage Gannon! He's had my name in his mouth ever since I debuted here in the WCF!! Yeah but yet this guy is the first one to criticize me after I lose a match! As a matter of fact, this guy hasn't even one a match yet!! So what does this nasty filthy looking bastard do? He calls Martha Stewart, he calls Jeanie Craig, hell he even calls Oprah and prays to Tom Cruise that he will find his winning days!! BULL SHIT!! BULL SHIT!!!
Gage's eyes get wide as he just looks into the camera and stares into astonishment!!!
Gage: I'll tell you one thing, if you think that I'm going to be the sap that Yukon Jack actually beats you have another thing coming!! That's not even a no, it's more like an OH HELL NO!!! I refuse to be beat by a guy who isn't even good enough to shine my shoes!!! Yukon Jack make no mistake about it, you can get all the training that you want, you can play the inspirational music, and you can have that eye of the tiger look, you can eat all of the slim fast yogurt, you can do yoga, hell you can even lose all of the weight that you want too, you fat bastard but make absolutely no mistake about it, your losing ways continue this week!! Even if I have to bitch slap these nWo wannabe's into actually showing that they can wrestle!!! Hell, even if Gage Gannon has to put these sorry sons a bitch's on my back I will carry this ONE TIME ONLY, and I repeat SETH I HOPE YOUR LISTENING, I DO MEAN ONE TIME ONLY team to a victory. Because I refuse to lose to Yukon Jack and Tek, which brings me to the graveyard digging son of a bitch!!!
Gage: Oh yeah Tek the guy who does the same promo each week!!! Tek I'm going to do you a favor!!! I'm actually going to do your promo for you! Yes that's right ladies and gentlemen for the first time ever I am going to do a "promo within a promo!" Here it goes.......
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I NOW PRESENT TO YOU.....TEK'S PROMO!!!!
Gage: (In narrator's voice) The scene cuts to a graveyard!! It's a darkkk night!!! The moon isn't out!!! Nobody can see anything for miles, as a matter of fact you can't even see your hand in front of your face!! Wait a minute, what's this? Our dastardly villain is up to no good again!!! I count 1 2, I count 3 tombstones!!! But why three? Hopefully Tek will be able to explain it to us!!!!!
Gage: (In Tek's Voice) Here I am again!! Unoriginal, and doing the same shit I do week in and week out!!!! I'm digging three graves!! The first grave is for Deaven Bennett!!! Deaven Bennett!!! Your an easy win because based on how much I saw the GLS wrestle in their first match I must say you absolutely suck!!!
DA DA DA (Cue dastardly music)
Gage (In Tek Voice) Unveil the apron on the tombstone and it's.....oh no that gravestone has Deaven Bennett's name on it!! This will be your final resting place!!!
Gage: And then the storm and lightning affects hit and Tek removes the veil from the second tombstone to show Gage Gannon!!!!
Gage: (Tek Voice) Gage even though I know you are better than me in every single way possible, I'm still going to act like I have a chance of being remotely as gifted as you are in the ring. So this is actually the same tombstone I used from our first match, I scratched out the wrong name and put your name....oh oh Gage by the way I'm sorry about that I was still on high from sucking JOEL HALL's cock!!! Please forgive me!!!
Gage (In Narrator's Voice) And then Tek removes the veil from the third tombstone aND IT SHOWSSSSSSSSSSS.................Tek's career?
Gage: (In Narrator's Voice) I'm lost!!!!
Gage: (In Tek's Voice) Yes sadly this is the resting place of my career!! I'm the original Yukon Jack!! Before he actually got here and replaced me as the worst wrestler in WCF History!!! Sadly I've been looking for my career ever since I came to the WCF!! It seems like the more I lose, the more I'll never find it!!!
Gage: And then all of a sudden out of nowhere Gage Gannon comes and kicks your ass into the third tombstone!!! And then I start piling the dirt on top of your grave Tek because you are a mistake that even your momma and daddy don't want to claim!!! I'm tired of you jokes coming into the ring, and acting like you are on the same level as I am!!! I told you a few weeks ago nothing would ever be the same, well this week I can't say that Tek and Yukon Jack, because you losing still is!!! ut I can guarantee you that I'm going to win this match by a mile!!!! Because it's not that I take you lightly, but with my eyes closed, me hobbling on one foot, and with one armed tied behind my back the proof is in the pooding I AM BETTER THAN YOU!!!! And I've decided that this week I'm going to start acting like it!!!!
Gage: Welcome to your worse nightmare Mother Fuckers!!!!!!
