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Post by Scott Slayer on Sept 8, 2018 18:11:23 GMT -5
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Post by Bonnie Blue on Sept 10, 2018 6:58:07 GMT -5
Solid shoot, but a little bit on the short side. I know it's not easy getting started with a new character, in a new fed; especially if it's your first experience with e-fedding. Best advice anybody can give you is to spend time reading roleplays. Reading always improves writing. Look to title holders like Odin Balfore and Stephen Singh; check out other veteran writers like Teo Del Sol, Kurt Navarro, Alex Richards, etc. Look at how they set the scene, how they draw you into the story, how it leads to the shoot. More immediately, I'd say what you should work on is description. For example, instead of just stating that your character is in whatever venue we're using that week, describe the locker room, or a hallway, or the backstage/gorilla area. Think about not just what your character says, but how he says it. His tone, his facial expressions, his gestures. All of that will add more to the overall roleplay and lend depth to the character and meaning to the shoot. Also, sometimes it helps to have another character to talk to. You can use WCF interviewer Hank Brown, or you can give your guy a manager or valet. It sounds like a lot to keep straight, but you'll get the hang of it pretty quickly. The more you write, the better you'll get at it.
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Post by Eccentrix on Sept 10, 2018 21:55:12 GMT -5
Ditto. I love reading roleplays and every week making it a point to go through each and every one. The only problem with that is, I do tend to forget the rp's or characters that aren't fleshed out and descriptive. Bonnie is great at painting a picture that her character shines through, Noble Savage too. When I ready their rps I can tell how they are feeling and that gives their shoots more power. Singh is a master at "building the set" and I can bust out the popcorn and see everything happening through the words. Quality over length, but definitely put enough in so that we understand your character just as much as you do. There's nothing at all wrong with anything you wrote. As I learned early, you can type out "The Rock" quality dialogue but unless you set the scene correctly, we won't see The Rock.
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