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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2018 23:01:26 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2018 23:15:53 GMT -5
It was pretty shit, made me cry. Jk. Overall I really liked your attention to detail this time around. I really enjoyed reading your post
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Post by Kid Dynamo on Jul 19, 2018 3:16:32 GMT -5
Reminder that this is my opinion, and that while I have strong opinions, I will never judge anyone's RPs because the week and a half I spent running a fed was dumb and terrible so yeah no.
In other words, if you think I'm wrong, then cool, I probably am. LOL
Anywho,
Three things I liked:
1) Despite the clearly murderous nature of some of the events of the RP, I liked that you left the actual event to the imagination of the audience, especially since you were keeping it as an on-camera segment (so in the kayfabe where a cop would be like "What the fuck?" and you could be like "Naw, it was just a wrestling thing, that guy is just on vacation or something"). I generally find it a good idea to be descriptive when it comes to feelings and emotions but as far as actual physical events, the audience is probably even more twisted than you are so let them weave their warped little yarn about how that guy saw his end.
2) I like that you don't hide from your age, even though unlike "Kid" you totally could. I also appreciate that while you acknowledge the edge you get from experience, you also don't let it define you and make your age a crutch because there's really no ammo for me to respond by declaring that you've lost a step because there's no indication that you are any different than you would be if you were 26. It's always good when you have pro-Kylie material that I can't organically twist into an anti-Kylie rebuttal.
3) The slow burn of the reveal of HIM has me intrigued and anticipating further, so I kinda hope it'll be a good minute before you unveil that. The mystery and mystique around HIM as well as the devotion and worshipfulness Kylie has towards him is a great wrinkle, and you are playing it very well.
Three things I didn't like:
1) I get that we're all wrestlers here, but it's okay if the Dark Carnival has a grander plan that exceeds the scope of this wrestling company. You could say that Kylie's WCF career is a way of bankrolling the DC or even that it's a front so that people just dismiss y'all as a wrestling thing and mask your true intentions. It just feels anticlimactic for the DC's grand purpose to be the TV Title.
2) It felt a little too much leaned towards Singh. It would be perfectly fine if you had a match with Singh signed for Showdown - and as I write this, I suppose you could argue that you have just that, once you kick my ass first - but it looks like you aren't completely focused on the task on hand. This one is a nitpick, really, so I wouldn't worry too much about this one.
3) It was a little weird that the clowns seemed to be okay with the cameraman showing up to the carnival but then Kylie seemed surprised and paranoid about it. I'm not gonna tell you how that should have been done but it was just a little of a disconnect.
Bottom Line:
It was a well done RP. It certainly treats this match with Dynamo as just one piece of a bigger puzzle instead of a singular fight, but that's not a bad thing, especially if you win. The questions that hang about who HIM is and what will actually happen to Lilianna if you get your hands on her are effective cliffhangers and it's always good when the audience is invested on seeing the next chapter
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2018 12:04:30 GMT -5
Thanks for the feedback guys. I'm still open for more so I can improve
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