Post by James Wolf on May 8, 2018 16:19:34 GMT -5
I would personally look for a gimmick change. The gentleman and the way he acts doesn't make sense. A former promoter tired of day to day operations, and returning to competition would make more sense. Also, your presentation needs a little work especially with your characters comprehension skills. When there is a response by your opponent, and you don't even mention it you're leaving yourself open to be called out until you take notice.
That's how I saw it. It contradicted itself. One moment he's in it for the fun of the business itself, and the next he's talking about who are the bottom feeders, and who are not. Didn't answer a lot of questions for me. For example my character is a hardcore wrestler but he is also a former World Champion. He's never rested on past accomplishments. He is a person and he has a stage name. Not knowing the difference between the two makes you look like an idiot. Don't be afraid to go look and see what his real name is and use that to your advantage. I'm not expecting WCF as a whole to always use his stage name. I want his real name used to create a realistic view of the wrestling world. But you're not going to be able to work as a character that contradicts himself. Especially when he knows next to nothing about his opponents. You're getting too far ahead of yourself. That role play is a wake up call for you to change up some things so you don't get yourself in a bind of having to do it later. My two cents.
Over all I would give it an 8.5/10. You just need some minor improvements to set yourself apart from the rest of us. Your character needs to address every word of another character and you need to figure out how you're going to turn it around on us because as a gentleman its just not going to happen. But as something else, whatever that something else is then you can do it. Good luck. I'm awaiting your next piece of work.
That's how I saw it. It contradicted itself. One moment he's in it for the fun of the business itself, and the next he's talking about who are the bottom feeders, and who are not. Didn't answer a lot of questions for me. For example my character is a hardcore wrestler but he is also a former World Champion. He's never rested on past accomplishments. He is a person and he has a stage name. Not knowing the difference between the two makes you look like an idiot. Don't be afraid to go look and see what his real name is and use that to your advantage. I'm not expecting WCF as a whole to always use his stage name. I want his real name used to create a realistic view of the wrestling world. But you're not going to be able to work as a character that contradicts himself. Especially when he knows next to nothing about his opponents. You're getting too far ahead of yourself. That role play is a wake up call for you to change up some things so you don't get yourself in a bind of having to do it later. My two cents.
Over all I would give it an 8.5/10. You just need some minor improvements to set yourself apart from the rest of us. Your character needs to address every word of another character and you need to figure out how you're going to turn it around on us because as a gentleman its just not going to happen. But as something else, whatever that something else is then you can do it. Good luck. I'm awaiting your next piece of work.