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Post by phreak on Mar 10, 2018 19:53:31 GMT -5
I would greatly appreciate feed back
I know i suck at proper punctuation
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Post by Odin Balfore on Mar 11, 2018 1:42:15 GMT -5
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RP: Phreak
Handler: What Once Was, Shall be Again
Overview thoughts: Promo has great CD but lacking in the match content. A solid promo but needs tweaking.
RP Breakdown
Scene description: 4
Character Development: 5
Shoot: 2
Flow: 3
Overall Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Critical Review:
OK! So right off, you did nothing bad or terrible, just stuff that I would say missed the mark. However, not by much. The Scene description was great, the CD was fantastic, shoot was flat and the flow suffered because of what I feel was just mis-coloration ( shit happens ). You gave a good run down of Phreak and his past but I would have liked more about Omen too and that history with him. That’s not a negative but I legitly wanted to read more about it. The shoot was soft and really non-existent considering who your opponents are and what they can do but the shoot was basic stuff and easy to latch onto. The shoot played into the development of Phreaks us vs the world mentality but with such a mentality, I feel that could have been sharper. You essentially told the tag champs ( and 2 former world champions ) that at the end of the day you’re going to stand tall. 3K word count amounted to ‘ stand tall.’ Unfortunately that’s not going to cut it against WMD. However, I digress. You have the frame work for both an interesting character and good promos but you just gotta get it there and its going to take time and work. Don’t let things get to you. Don’t take this as a big dump on you. It isn’t. Like I said, you got nothing bad in this promo, just a bunch of stuff that could be better. There isn’t much in the way of glaring flaws that stand out to me that really hurt the promo or your chances in WCF. You just gotta get a feel for yourself and take it week by week and improve.
Suggestions:
Work on the grammar and spelling ( open office can help )
watch the color coding because that can be a hindrance if you’re not careful
give your character better match related content because the end of the day – that’s going to seal matches for you.
Be more assertive and aggressive with your shoot
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Post by God King Dune on Mar 11, 2018 2:49:18 GMT -5
The master has spoken, one of the many reasons Odin is GOAT. I've got nothing to add, my only suggestion would be to take the above advice to heart. It WILL help you to improve your rps no question.
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Post by Luke Force on Mar 12, 2018 22:29:02 GMT -5
Two masters have spoken, one of the many reasons these guys are GOAT. I've got nothing to add, my only suggestion would be to take the above advice to heart. It WILL help you to improve your rps, no question. And be original, like this post.
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