|
Post by Vincent Augustine on Jan 30, 2018 20:51:50 GMT -5
Now im not an ego monster or anything. I would like some contructive feedback. Ive been out of the efed game for five plus years and feel super rusty. Any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated. Positive or negative.
|
|
|
Post by Stephen Singh on Jan 30, 2018 21:33:16 GMT -5
Hey man!
So glad to see somebody actually using this board! I'm currently in the process of reading all the RPs you've posted right now so I should have some decent feedback for you soon (tomorrow or the day after, most likely) if others don't beat me to it first.
|
|
|
Post by Stephen Singh on Feb 6, 2018 21:45:28 GMT -5
I just had 700 words typed up as feedback and then i fucking lost it. This might be a bit abbreviate bc now I"m angry. But lemme try to recreate what I had:
My first advice is always to read Odin's promo tips. Dude's an all-timer, one of the GOATs so his words are golden. Except, you know, at the next PPV when I eat his lunch.
Stemfs --your writing is generally clear, grammar doesn't seem to be a problem and vocabulary is good. This is excellent bc those things are hard to fix just via a 'feedback' board --i liked that you filled out your world a bit with those other characters. it makes your world feel fuller and gives you guys to bounce off of. Plus you can use them to build drama/conflict etc. (also, i think george is funny. ppl might say it's a one joke dude but so long as he's not over relied on i think he's great) --i think my favorite RP was the one where duder ended up dead and you were in that weird interrogation room. That one really piqued my interest and had an interesting story that I was hoping to hear more about --i think the fact that he's an economics guy and uses "it all adds up" could be something. maybe even gimmick that up a bit more. treat your opponents like a problem to be solved, supply/demand blah blah blah. Just spitballing here but I like the basis of 'it all adds up'
Opp Or Tune Itties --Shoot. I'd like to see more breakdown of your opponent, why/how you're going to win, etc. You coul deven use the other characters to do this if you want but I think the RPs could def use more of it --For me, the perfect RP tells an interesting, self contained story that also serves a purpose to your character's greater story/arc. Ideally, the story would also somehow relate back to the match at hand and even have organic room for shoot. --I know you're playing him as 'neutral' currently but I think it could help quite a bit to at least lean heel or face. This would also probably give you a bit of a better point to shoot from too. --formatting. this is a little thing but a little color can really add to the legibility of your RPs (which definitely matters) or make your dialogue stand out, etc.
I hope any of this is useful brother! Keep on grinding. Maybe find somebody to work a long-term angle/story/feud with. Submit segments for Slam, etc. All that helps get your character noticed/over.
|
|
|
Post by Luke Force on Feb 6, 2018 22:26:56 GMT -5
Augustine. I had about 15k words of feedback but, you guessed it, like Singh I deleted it. Singh said it all really. Once you connect your story to the WCF, the sky’s the limit. Also never be afraid to be too hard on your opponent. They are gonna do it to you. Awesome to have you brother.
|
|
|
Post by Vincent Augustine on Feb 13, 2018 21:08:16 GMT -5
I appreciate all this guys, as I said before I had some personal stuff come up, but will be back in a week. So there is more to come and some fun for sure.
|
|