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Post by Kyle Kemp on Oct 1, 2017 17:30:56 GMT -5
I was hoping to get some feedback from the latest Kemp rps. I put some time in on these and want to see what you guys thought. Thanks!
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Post by Seth on Oct 2, 2017 22:58:01 GMT -5
Firstly - I think this may be one of the strongest showings you've ever had. Very impressive. That's saying a lot given how long you've been here. And I could be wrong, but to me it was a breakout moment for you, quality of writing wise!
I don't normally reply to feedback stuff here but I'll address it because a LOT of people fell into this trap - you went into "wall of text" mode. Which is okay, it can be fine, but to be REALLY great you need to structure that kind of thing better. Every so often you need to write about what we're seeing, the tone of voice Kemp is using, stuff like that. In general, wall of text stuff is better if its broken up and... I can't call it a wall of text!
Again, really only bringing this up because A LOT of people do this. To me, a good rule of thumb is that there should be something that breaks up every paragraph at least, some line of action or something.
I've honestly never been great at this myself - I go to the well with basic stuff like "Seth Lerch smirks before continuing to speak." or whatever - but you guys are much better roleplayers than I've ever been and can do better.
Just my two cents! Wrap your wall of text up in a nice characterization dialogue-y blanket.
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Post by Kyle Kemp on Oct 3, 2017 3:50:44 GMT -5
thanks man! Definitely something to work on. I noticed how much it was when I was writing and just didn't know how to stop it. Just kept snowballing into big paragraphs. Gotta fix that
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