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Post by prestonbishop on Sept 12, 2017 10:05:53 GMT -5
Sup guys, I've recently been trying to make my promos a lot better and I was wondering if someone could critique my latest one. P.S. I am on mobile so there are some limitations I guess
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Post by Eccentrix on Sept 12, 2017 16:35:32 GMT -5
I would've sat on your rp for a few days so you could add more periodically and maybe seen what your opponents put out so you could react to them. You're already done and have 5 days left. There's nothing wrong with short rps, but it didn't feel like an epic title shot. Just like I found out, you have to tell a story or just have superior rebuttle skills when it comes to this place. I definitely see the ego from your wrestler but don't know much else about him based on your rps. My advice is find your direction, flesh it out, and don't rush to put out your rp. I love the ego though, definitely emphasize that
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Post by prestonbishop on Sept 12, 2017 17:02:08 GMT -5
Thanks I'll use that
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Post by Stephen Singh on Sept 13, 2017 14:47:35 GMT -5
Listen to Trey Carter, a guy who definitely keeps improving with his time here. Shouts to him. As I do with everybody who asks "How promo?" I first point you to a WCF legend's tips n tricks before I weigh in. Read this and try to really take as much of into consideration as you can: wcfwrestling.proboards.com/thread/30589/odin-balfores-promo-tipsThose tips of course are all general by nature so in regards to your specific promo(s): --This latest one seems to be your best effort; it's more fleshed out, better formatted and has slightly more to it than just a paragraph of "I'm going to win" --I know trey encouraged waiting to post your RP in order to include some rebuttal which is certainly one strategy, but I do know that a lot of guys here avoid doing "response" RPs as an unwritten rule thing. To be clear, there are no rules against it, just thought I'd mention that. The real benefit of holding off on posting your RP though is the opportunity to add to it. Ideally, an RP would have a little story to it; something to show us WHO you character is or HOW he's going to win or somehow emphasize WHY your opponent is going to lose. --for this week's RP, you don't mention a single opponent by name. Without doing that, you can't go into why you're better than them or how you're going to beat them or why they're such jobbers etc. So each week try to do a little research on your opponent(s) and use that to berate or degrade them. That's the meat and potatoes of your "shoot" right there. --Flesh out Johnny Alpha's life and include those details in your RPs. He's in a mansion, great. Where's the mansion? What city are we in? What piece of piano music is playing in the background? Is it on a stereo or is someone playing piano? Give him friends or family or a lover(s) or whatever else. Make him human and whole. AND make him the "alpha" in all those situations to keep showing us who he is, etc. Hopefully some of this stuff helps out a bit. Try not to get discouraged by your win/loss record at all. A lot of us have been doing this a long time and you might be in one of the toughest places to win in the efed world. Try to find somebody who seems to be at or around your level and maybe work out a longer term story/angle/feud with them; that's always fun and helpful for both characters.
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Post by Luke Force on Sept 13, 2017 17:16:27 GMT -5
Alpha.
I was thinking about my response today at work and had it all written in my head. I sat down to type and BAM! Stephen Singh apparently got in my head and did it for me. His words are spot on, follow his advice.
I look forward to the evolution of Johnny Alpha.
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Post by prestonbishop on Sept 13, 2017 21:39:32 GMT -5
This advice is really helping me guys I really like learning from the vets of WCF because this is my first (and only) efed I'm a part of. So learning from you guys I feel will really help me
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Post by Luke Force on Sept 14, 2017 9:36:26 GMT -5
Alpha,
One thing to consider is to spend some developing your bio. Your gimmick is the Alpha, explain what that means. I understand that you know what it means but others may not. I can envision your entrance, but I know who Mr. Perfect is, others may not. That particular entrance is a great one to describe, it has so much stuff going on. The gum spitting, the towel, the condescending look he gives the crowd. I would suggest watching the intro and write what you see. A quality entrance makes it easy for a match writer to copy and paste.
Give a solid description of Johnny Alpha. He has medium brown hair, what else? Are his eyes steel grey or ocean blue? What color are his trunks? Does he wear something else during his entrance? Any scars? (Every scar has a story behind it.)
The more you include in your bio, the more writers can work your character traits into matches. It also allows other wrestlers to use those traits as fodder to challenge for matches and build feuds.
Check out some of the other bios, you can get some good ideas/inspiration.
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Post by prestonbishop on Sept 14, 2017 10:52:49 GMT -5
Alpha, One thing to consider is to spend some developing your bio. Your gimmick is the Alpha, explain what that means. I understand that you know what it means but others may not. I can envision your entrance, but I know who Mr. Perfect is, others may not. That particular entrance is a great one to describe, it has so much stuff going on. The gum spitting, the towel, the condescending look he gives the crowd. I would suggest watching the intro and write what you see. A quality entrance makes it easy for a match writer to copy and paste. Give a solid description of Johnny Alpha. He has medium brown hair, what else? Are his eyes steel grey or ocean blue? What color are his trunks? Does he wear something else during his entrance? Any scars? (Every scar has a story behind it.) The more you include in your bio, the more writers can work your character traits into matches. It also allows other wrestlers to use those traits as fodder to challenge for matches and build feuds. Check out some of the other bios, you can get some good ideas/inspiration. I kinda juiced it up a little just now
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Post by Luke Force on Sept 14, 2017 11:01:51 GMT -5
Nice work brother, already a stronger bio. Describe your logo to me and I can put one together for you if you would like.
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Post by prestonbishop on Sept 14, 2017 11:48:08 GMT -5
Nice work brother, already a stronger bio. Describe your logo to me and I can put one together for you if you would like. Thanks Luke. Ugh just"Johnny Alpha" outlined in gold and and filled in with silver; in the background 2 crossing lightning bolts.
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Post by Luke Force on Sept 14, 2017 20:23:20 GMT -5
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