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Post by Salem Shepard on Apr 24, 2017 11:01:10 GMT -5
I never ask for feedback because I dont really care what you all think - only cause yall dont judge matches! lol ....Not saying that in a dickhead way; I just never cared to get feedback from people who dont judge. Until now!!!!! I would like some feedback on my very last Salem RP tho. I was hoping that this would be "the one" (since it was my last one) but apparantly it wasnt! Congrats on the win, Jared, it was a fun week anyway and I had been looking forward to the challenge for a long time! I had more focus and determination this week than Ive had in a while, so yes, this loss was a little hard to swallow. I can shake off a loss and start typing for the next match cause losses happen, no big deal. But like I said, this one was hard to swallow. .....and I guess thats why Im asking for feedback. If Wade is around, I would like some feedback from you too. You gave people feedback some time ago in a thread and I felt your feedback was fair, honest and constructive - even if the person asking didnt like it. So if you get a chance, I would like some feedback from you as well! wcfwrestling.proboards.com/thread/34629/legends-wcf-land
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Post by Oath Breaker on Apr 24, 2017 12:38:42 GMT -5
Seth judges on shoot, not storytelling. That said, was a great read from a great storyteller. More on shoot, you woulda won it.
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Post by Salem Shepard on Apr 24, 2017 12:59:55 GMT -5
Seth judges on shoot, not storytelling. That said, was a great read from a great storyteller. More on shoot, you woulda won it. "Seth judges on shoot, not storytelling." .......But that doesnt make any sense to me! lol I lost a match to Lester Parrish last August and he didnt shoot on his opponents at all. It was a short, good read but there wasnt a single word about the 3 opponents he faced. "That said, was a great read from a great storyteller. More on shoot, you woulda won it." Thanks for the nice words and feedback!
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Post by Corey Black on Apr 24, 2017 14:10:25 GMT -5
I judge matches.
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Post by Salem Shepard on Apr 24, 2017 14:22:54 GMT -5
I judge matches. Well, it all makes sense now!!! Its just a Pantheon bias!!!! lol jk jk!!!!
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Post by Dionysus on Apr 24, 2017 14:29:51 GMT -5
I would wager part of it had to do with the circumstance of your character. ZT springs you out for one night to compete against the #1 contender for the belt, in the lead-in show for he PPV where he's competing.
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Post by Corey Black on Apr 24, 2017 14:32:34 GMT -5
I judge matches. Well, it all makes sense now!!! Its just a Pantheon bias!!!! lol jk jk!!!! Well I mean, it's insanely rare I judge a Slam or WCF PPV match, haha. As for feedback, I didn't read the whole thing - so bare with me as I say this, but it seemed like a lot of regurgitating stuff that has happened. What I saw played out like a montage of things that most everyone already knows about, and a large section might not be best to devote to that - especially against Huwee who is easily top 3 writer we have going now.
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Post by Wade Moor on Apr 24, 2017 14:49:55 GMT -5
At first glance, this is a pretty solid read, but after my second read through, there are a few underlying things that probably hurt you in the long run.
Before I get started I'll say that you wrote what you wanted and you had fun, which I could tell while I was reading it. Definitely a +++ in efeds.
So getting into it; this RP is split into almost 4/5/6 scenes and that hinders the flow of it right off the bat. We're writing at a unique medium so anymore than like 4 scenes is going to completely throw off your average reader and probably hinder them from continuing. There were a few times when even I was like (and I don't mean this in a rude way, sorry if it comes off like that) "is it over yet?". Not to say you're a bad writer but this was a particularly beefy promo and there was an entire scene you could completely cut and not miss anything (the Jail Jabber portion) it didn't really add anything to the promo in my opinion and it was nearly 1.3k or something like that. Just something to think about in that instance.
Next up; there wasn't really any solid character development in this promo. I know Salem is schizophrenic and he bounces between emotions like a ping pong ball, but there needed to be something in here for the reader to really sink their teeth in to.
I will tell you that Seth doesn't judge on just shoot; he judges on overall entertainment value of the piece. So you could do 60/40 split shoot & story, but if some bodies pieces carried attention throughout its going to win, most likely. Don't be afraid to think outside of the box here. A lot of people, myself included, succumb to the pitfall of formulaic writing. It works sometimes but it can become monotonous. Challenge yourself wherever you can. Don't think about what other people think while you're writing. You won't be able to please everyone. Write for yourself, my man. There is no exact science to this game so just aim to please yourself and you'll reach your goals sooner than you might expect.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2017 14:57:34 GMT -5
I will tell you that Seth doesn't judge on just shoot; he judges on overall entertainment value of the piece. So you could do 60/40 split shoot & story, but if some bodies pieces carried attention throughout its going to win, most likely. Don't be afraid to think outside of the box here. A lot of people, myself included, succumb to the pitfall of formulaic writing. It works sometimes but it can become monotonous. Challenge yourself wherever you can. Don't think about what other people think while you're writing. You won't be able to please everyone. Write for yourself, my man. There is no exact science to this game so just aim to please yourself and you'll reach your goals sooner than you might expect. Sorry to Salem if I come across as hijacking things here, but I had a question about something you said in this part. Can you go into a little more detail about your comment regarding thinking outside of the box and avoiding formulaic writing? I feel like I have thought outside of the box and avoided formulaic writing at times with Gravedigger over the years, but I also fee like that only goes so far before I fall back into those things. Either that or I'm not understanding what you mean by outside of the box and avoiding formulaic writing.
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Post by Salem Shepard on Apr 24, 2017 15:06:47 GMT -5
At first glance, this is a pretty solid read, but after my second read through, there are a few underlying things that probably hurt you in the long run. Before I get started I'll say that you wrote what you wanted and you had fun, which I could tell while I was reading it. Definitely a +++ in efeds. So getting into it; this RP is split into almost 4/5/6 scenes and that hinders the flow of it right off the bat. We're writing at a unique medium so anymore than like 4 scenes is going to completely throw off your average reader and probably hinder them from continuing. There were a few times when even I was like (and I don't mean this in a rude way, sorry if it comes off like that) "is it over yet?". Not to say you're a bad writer but this was a particularly beefy promo and there was an entire scene you could completely cut and not miss anything (the Jail Jabber portion) it didn't really add anything to the promo in my opinion and it was nearly 1.3k or something like that. Just something to think about in that instance. Next up; there wasn't really any solid character development in this promo. I know Salem is schizophrenic and he bounces between emotions like a ping pong ball, but there needed to be something in here for the reader to really sink their teeth in to. I will tell you that Seth doesn't judge on just shoot; he judges on overall entertainment value of the piece. So you could do 60/40 split shoot & story, but if some bodies pieces carried attention throughout its going to win, most likely. Don't be afraid to think outside of the box here. A lot of people, myself included, succumb to the pitfall of formulaic writing. It works sometimes but it can become monotonous. Challenge yourself wherever you can. Don't think about what other people think while you're writing. You won't be able to please everyone. Write for yourself, my man. There is no exact science to this game so just aim to please yourself and you'll reach your goals sooner than you might expect. THANK YOU!!!!!! This is what I was looking for!!! I was concerned it was too long before I posted and maybe boring in places, and thats why I cut out one scene out and put it on the CD board. I did feel like the Jail Jabber part might have needed to come out as well, but I went ahead and left it in. I know Im long winded...and my WCF story was very long, but I did cut that short and it shows at the end of the story cause it just kinda ends very suddenly. Typing shorter RPs has been a goal of mine since I switched to Jaymz, its just hard for me to do. I had a blast typing that Salem RP so it did stretch on forever. Thanks for getting back to me, Wade!
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Post by Miss L ilithenix on Apr 24, 2017 15:10:26 GMT -5
It was nothing but garbage and you should be ashamed of yourself
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Post by Wade Moor on Apr 24, 2017 15:39:55 GMT -5
I will tell you that Seth doesn't judge on just shoot; he judges on overall entertainment value of the piece. So you could do 60/40 split shoot & story, but if some bodies pieces carried attention throughout its going to win, most likely. Don't be afraid to think outside of the box here. A lot of people, myself included, succumb to the pitfall of formulaic writing. It works sometimes but it can become monotonous. Challenge yourself wherever you can. Don't think about what other people think while you're writing. You won't be able to please everyone. Write for yourself, my man. There is no exact science to this game so just aim to please yourself and you'll reach your goals sooner than you might expect. Sorry to Salem if I come across as hijacking things here, but I had a question about something you said in this part. Can you go into a little more detail about your comment regarding thinking outside of the box and avoiding formulaic writing? I feel like I have thought outside of the box and avoided formulaic writing at times with Gravedigger over the years, but I also fee like that only goes so far before I fall back into those things. Either that or I'm not understanding what you mean by outside of the box and avoiding formulaic writing. It's hard to point out specific examples, but my advice to the new crop of guys would be go read guys like NvL, Steve Orbit, Johnny Fly, Bobby Cairo, Jared Holmes, Johnny Rabid. See the things these guys are coming up with and then take yourself out of your comfort zone. My first year in the WCF was extremely humbling and I had to take a backseat to my own thinking for a while and realize that these guys had a whole lot to teach me, even if they didn't know they were doing it haha. I went from curtain jerking jobber bum to mid card champ to World Heavyweight Champion. It took time and effort but I put the proverbial nose to the grindstone. Also Digger you sexy bitch you're good. Get out of your own head fams and write the Aztec God you are my man.
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Post by Wade Moor on Apr 24, 2017 15:41:36 GMT -5
At first glance, this is a pretty solid read, but after my second read through, there are a few underlying things that probably hurt you in the long run. Before I get started I'll say that you wrote what you wanted and you had fun, which I could tell while I was reading it. Definitely a +++ in efeds. So getting into it; this RP is split into almost 4/5/6 scenes and that hinders the flow of it right off the bat. We're writing at a unique medium so anymore than like 4 scenes is going to completely throw off your average reader and probably hinder them from continuing. There were a few times when even I was like (and I don't mean this in a rude way, sorry if it comes off like that) "is it over yet?". Not to say you're a bad writer but this was a particularly beefy promo and there was an entire scene you could completely cut and not miss anything (the Jail Jabber portion) it didn't really add anything to the promo in my opinion and it was nearly 1.3k or something like that. Just something to think about in that instance. Next up; there wasn't really any solid character development in this promo. I know Salem is schizophrenic and he bounces between emotions like a ping pong ball, but there needed to be something in here for the reader to really sink their teeth in to. I will tell you that Seth doesn't judge on just shoot; he judges on overall entertainment value of the piece. So you could do 60/40 split shoot & story, but if some bodies pieces carried attention throughout its going to win, most likely. Don't be afraid to think outside of the box here. A lot of people, myself included, succumb to the pitfall of formulaic writing. It works sometimes but it can become monotonous. Challenge yourself wherever you can. Don't think about what other people think while you're writing. You won't be able to please everyone. Write for yourself, my man. There is no exact science to this game so just aim to please yourself and you'll reach your goals sooner than you might expect. THANK YOU!!!!!! This is what I was looking for!!! I was concerned it was too long before I posted and maybe boring in places, and thats why I cut out one scene out and put it on the CD board. I did feel like the Jail Jabber part might have needed to come out as well, but I went ahead and left it in. I know Im long winded...and my WCF story was very long, but I did cut that short and it shows at the end of the story cause it just kinda ends very suddenly. Typing shorter RPs has been a goal of mine since I switched to Jaymz, its just hard for me to do. I had a blast typing that Salem RP so it did stretch on forever. Thanks for getting back to me, Wade! You're welcome bro! Honestly never thought I'd be in the position where guys were coming to me for advice. It's usually the other way around. It's nice to be reminded that I have some measure of advice to pass on to the new crop every once in a while.
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Post by erikblack on Apr 24, 2017 16:24:14 GMT -5
You give great feedback, hoss. Always great and eye opening.
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Post by Oath Breaker on Apr 24, 2017 19:51:36 GMT -5
It was nothing but garbage and you should be ashamed of yourself Go jump into a 'La Blue Girl' video and leave us normal people alone.
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