Post by Joe Smarts on Jan 22, 2017 15:30:54 GMT -5
I were invited!
<law and order sound effect>
Jimmy's car.
01/16/17. 10:57 am.
Status: Chilling
Joe, Jimmy, Jeff and Jemma are chilling on their way to Slam.
Jeff: Jeez, that law and order sound effect was pretty dramatic.
Joe: And very Coolio. You shoulds do those every time, Mr Narrator!
Really? Okay. Anyways, the group are in the car when Joe gets an e-mail
Joe's Phone: Ye got mail,
Joe: Ooh, I has mail!
Joe checks his mail.
Joe: Oh looks, I've been invited to a Ping's pong tournament!
Jemma: Weren't you invited to another ping pong tournament before?
Joe: Yeah, butts it were cancelled.
Jemma: Hmm.
Jeff: Do you even know how to play ping pong?
Joe: Uh... No.
Jimmy: Who you up against?
Joe: Um... Damian Train. Some guy called 'Joe Bronie' has a bye... Pomp is going up against Seth Lerch and Jaice Wilds is facing Kidd Krazzy.
Jimmy: Wait... You're up against DK? He superkicked you!
Joe: Yeah, I is going to beats him in ping's pong and gets revengeance!
Jimmy: But you don't know how to play!
Joe: Thanks you for smacking reality in mah face. I are whipping a plan right now.
Joe thought. Jimmy drove. Jeff looked out the window. Jemma was checking her Twitter. And they were all heading to the Ping Pong Tournament.
That's Not What Good Guys Do
This Round:
Psychopomp vs Seth Lerch
Kidd Krazzy vs Jaice Wilds
Joe Smarts vs Damian Kaine
Bye: Joe Bronie
<law and order sound effect>
WCF Ping Pong Tournament
01/16/17. 2:34 pm.
Status: Determined
Jimmy parks kid outside the Ping Pong Tourney location. When they were about to walk in, Pomp walks out, in shock.
Jeff: Pomp, wassup?
Pomp: I... I... Just scored 41 points... Forty-One... And... Lost!
Jeff: How?
Jimmy: In Ping Pong, it's first to 11, but you need to be 2 or more points in front. And that's what happened to Pomp here. He scored 41 points but lost to Seth, who scored 43 points. It's the deuce...
Pomp: DON'T SAY DEUCE TO ME EVER AGAIN!!!
Pomp then runs off, probably to the nearest cookie store.
Jimmy: ...rule.
Joe and the rest walked in. Just as Joe reached to grab a tennis racket, he was pulled over by Jemma.
Jemma: Joe, you have something on your cheek!
Jemma licked her finger and reached over to his cheek.
Joe: NO!!!! Don't do it!! I'll just wash it off!
Jemma: Okay...
Joe walked into the bathroom and washed his face.
Joe: I knew I shalln't have eaten Jeff's Choc Fudgey.
When the smudge on Joe's cheek eventually came off, a toilet flushed and DK walked out of the cubicle.
DK: Oh hey Joe, just wanted to say that...
Superkick. Except DK was the victim.
Joe: Kuh-harma, bitch!
Joe then walked out of the cubicle. Kidd Krazzy then walked to Joe.
Kidd Krazzy: Hey Joe.
Joe: Hey, doesn't you had a ping pong match to go to?
Kidd Krazzy: Nah, I've won 11-0.
Jaice Wilds: Fuck you Krazzy! I'll get you!!!
Kidd Krazzy: Thank you! Anyways, I gotta train for my next match against Seth.
Joe: Seas ya!
Joe goes to Jeff.
Joe: Jeff, I gots revengeance on DK!!
Jeff: How so?
Joe: I superkicked him insides the bathe room.
Jeff: Joe! That's not what faces do!
Joe: I knows. Faces don't superkick. Foots do.
Jeff: No! I mean 'face' as in good guy!
Joe: Ah. That make sense. DK dids it. So I dids it.
Jeff: <sigh>
Then they hear a scream.
Man: DK is dead!!!
The Battle of the Joes
<law and order sound effect>
WCF Ping Pong Tournament
01/16/17. 3:58 pm.
Status: Suspensed
Jeff: You killed DK?
Joe: I didn't mean to!
Jeff: You still killed him!
Man: Oh, never mind. He's just knocked out. False alarm!
Crowd: <sigh>
Jeff: Phew. I thought that you killed someone!
Joe: Yeah, hahahaha
Lilian Garcia: Winner of this ping pong match, via a knockout, Joe Smarts!!!
Jeff: I only just noticed that Lilian Garcia is here! She must be announcing.
Joe: Not shit, Shorlock.
Jimmy rushes into the conversation.
Jimmy: Hey guys, what you doing?
Jeff: We're talking about DK.
Jimmy: Did you hear about what happened?
Jeff: Yeah, mister Joe here s...
Jemma walks in the conversation.
Jemma: Did you hear...
Jeff: YES!!! Joe here...
Jemma: ...Must've done something. DK walked into the bathroom before Joe, and no-one else walked in. Joe then walked out and was the last person at the male's bathroom before the incident.
Jimmy: How do you know that?
Jemma: I was looking there the whole time.
Jimmy: Why were you looking there?
Jemma: Uh.... Joe what did you do?
Jeff (yells): HE SUPERKICKED DK!!!!
Everyone turns their head towards Jeff.
Crowd member: Who?
Jeff: Um... The guy that yelled 'DK is dead!' He tried to make it look that it wasn't him.
Crowd member: That's logical enough! Arrest him!
The man yelled 'I was framed' repeatedly as he was dragged from the building.
Jeff: Phew.
Joe: Thank you, Jeff.
Jemma: ...that just happened.
This Round:
Seth Lerch vs Kidd Krazzy
Joe Smarts vs Joe Bronie
Joe: Hangs on, who dares steal my name!! I'll got him!
Jeff: But you don't know how to play!!!
Joe: Oh yeah. I doesn't think I even knows how to hold a racket...
Jimmy: Okay, you...
Lilian Garcia: Here is your winner, 12-10, Seth Lerch!!
Jimmy: Oh, you're on. Quick, Joe! Go!
Jimmy pushed Joe towards the ping pong table as Kidd Krazzy walks in.
Kidd Krazzy: Hey. Is Joe here?
Jeff: Nope. Just left. Anyways, how on Earth did you lose? You were winning 9-0!
Kidd Krazzy: I dunno. Seth is better at ping pong than he looks.
Jeff: Apparently he's a professional beer pong player...
Kidd Krazzy: Ah. I see.
---
Joe Smarts is at one end of the table. Joe Bronie is at the other end.
Referee: Play pong!!
Joe Bronie will serve.
Bronie serves successfully serves the ball.
Smarts goes to hit it, but he misses, and lets go off the racket in the process, along with all the momentum. It hits Joe Bronie straight to his nose.
Joe Bronie: AH!! My nose!! You broke it!!
Joe Smarts: Suck it up! It's not like you wrestle anyway!!
Joe Bronie: Fuck you!!
Lilian Garcia: Due to a broken nose, Joe Bronie can no longer play ping pong, so your winner is Joe Smarts!!!
Joe: I won!!
Seth vs Smarts
This Round:
Seth Lerch vs Joe Smarts
We find Jeff taping Joe's hand to the ping pong racket with duct tape.
Joe: Why is you doing this?
Jeff: The last thing you want happening is breaking your boss' nose.
Joe: Point takened.
Jimmy: Are you sure this is legal?
Jeff: I don't think it says 'You are not allowed to duct tape your hand to a racket' anywhere in the rule book.
Jemma: Plus, I checked with Seth. He doesn't want his nose broken, so he allowed us to do this.
Jimmy: Well, can't argue with the boss.
Jeff: Quick, Joe. You're on. Just hit the ball. That's all you need to do.
Joe: Oak's A.
Joe Smarts walks to one end of the table. Seth Lerch walks to the other end.
Lilian Garcia: Due to time delay, this match will be a first to ONE match!!
Now play 'Scissors, Paper, Rock' to see who will serve!
Seth and Joe: Scissors, Paper...
...ROCK!!
Seth pulls Scissors.
Joe pulls Rock.
Lilian Garcia: Joe will serve!
Referee: Play Pong!!
Joe tosses up the ball
Jayson Price walks in
Jayson Price: I see you're playing with balls there, Seth.
Seth turns around.
Joe serves successfully.
Seth is still distracted.
The ping pong ball bounces on the table and then flies past Seth.
Seth then realises that Joe has served but it's too late. The ping pong ball has bounced on the floor. Joe wins.
Lilian Garcia: Here is your winner, and new WCF Ping Pong Champion... JOE SMARTS!!!
Joe Smarts had won, achieved the impossible, and made up a catchy rhyme which can be used at anytime!
Joe: Ding's dong, Bing's bong, here comes the King's Kong of Ping's Pong!
Meanwhile, at the nearest cookie store.
Pomp: Um... Can I get a ultra large triple chocolate double rainbow cookie please?
Waitress: Sure. Would you like juice with that?
Pomp: Did you just say... Deuce?
Waitress: I said juice...
Pomp: Juice... Deuce... DEUCE!!!
Pomp runs out of the building.
Waitress: ...um...
<law and order sound effect>
Jimmy's car.
01/16/17. 10:57 am.
Status: Chilling
Joe, Jimmy, Jeff and Jemma are chilling on their way to Slam.
Jeff: Jeez, that law and order sound effect was pretty dramatic.
Joe: And very Coolio. You shoulds do those every time, Mr Narrator!
Really? Okay. Anyways, the group are in the car when Joe gets an e-mail
Joe's Phone: Ye got mail,
Joe: Ooh, I has mail!
Joe checks his mail.
Joe: Oh looks, I've been invited to a Ping's pong tournament!
Jemma: Weren't you invited to another ping pong tournament before?
Joe: Yeah, butts it were cancelled.
Jemma: Hmm.
Jeff: Do you even know how to play ping pong?
Joe: Uh... No.
Jimmy: Who you up against?
Joe: Um... Damian Train. Some guy called 'Joe Bronie' has a bye... Pomp is going up against Seth Lerch and Jaice Wilds is facing Kidd Krazzy.
Jimmy: Wait... You're up against DK? He superkicked you!
Joe: Yeah, I is going to beats him in ping's pong and gets revengeance!
Jimmy: But you don't know how to play!
Joe: Thanks you for smacking reality in mah face. I are whipping a plan right now.
Joe thought. Jimmy drove. Jeff looked out the window. Jemma was checking her Twitter. And they were all heading to the Ping Pong Tournament.
That's Not What Good Guys Do
This Round:
Psychopomp vs Seth Lerch
Kidd Krazzy vs Jaice Wilds
Joe Smarts vs Damian Kaine
Bye: Joe Bronie
<law and order sound effect>
WCF Ping Pong Tournament
01/16/17. 2:34 pm.
Status: Determined
Jimmy parks kid outside the Ping Pong Tourney location. When they were about to walk in, Pomp walks out, in shock.
Jeff: Pomp, wassup?
Pomp: I... I... Just scored 41 points... Forty-One... And... Lost!
Jeff: How?
Jimmy: In Ping Pong, it's first to 11, but you need to be 2 or more points in front. And that's what happened to Pomp here. He scored 41 points but lost to Seth, who scored 43 points. It's the deuce...
Pomp: DON'T SAY DEUCE TO ME EVER AGAIN!!!
Pomp then runs off, probably to the nearest cookie store.
Jimmy: ...rule.
Joe and the rest walked in. Just as Joe reached to grab a tennis racket, he was pulled over by Jemma.
Jemma: Joe, you have something on your cheek!
Jemma licked her finger and reached over to his cheek.
Joe: NO!!!! Don't do it!! I'll just wash it off!
Jemma: Okay...
Joe walked into the bathroom and washed his face.
Joe: I knew I shalln't have eaten Jeff's Choc Fudgey.
When the smudge on Joe's cheek eventually came off, a toilet flushed and DK walked out of the cubicle.
DK: Oh hey Joe, just wanted to say that...
Superkick. Except DK was the victim.
Joe: Kuh-harma, bitch!
Joe then walked out of the cubicle. Kidd Krazzy then walked to Joe.
Kidd Krazzy: Hey Joe.
Joe: Hey, doesn't you had a ping pong match to go to?
Kidd Krazzy: Nah, I've won 11-0.
Jaice Wilds: Fuck you Krazzy! I'll get you!!!
Kidd Krazzy: Thank you! Anyways, I gotta train for my next match against Seth.
Joe: Seas ya!
Joe goes to Jeff.
Joe: Jeff, I gots revengeance on DK!!
Jeff: How so?
Joe: I superkicked him insides the bathe room.
Jeff: Joe! That's not what faces do!
Joe: I knows. Faces don't superkick. Foots do.
Jeff: No! I mean 'face' as in good guy!
Joe: Ah. That make sense. DK dids it. So I dids it.
Jeff: <sigh>
Then they hear a scream.
Man: DK is dead!!!
The Battle of the Joes
<law and order sound effect>
WCF Ping Pong Tournament
01/16/17. 3:58 pm.
Status: Suspensed
Jeff: You killed DK?
Joe: I didn't mean to!
Jeff: You still killed him!
Man: Oh, never mind. He's just knocked out. False alarm!
Crowd: <sigh>
Jeff: Phew. I thought that you killed someone!
Joe: Yeah, hahahaha
Lilian Garcia: Winner of this ping pong match, via a knockout, Joe Smarts!!!
Jeff: I only just noticed that Lilian Garcia is here! She must be announcing.
Joe: Not shit, Shorlock.
Jimmy rushes into the conversation.
Jimmy: Hey guys, what you doing?
Jeff: We're talking about DK.
Jimmy: Did you hear about what happened?
Jeff: Yeah, mister Joe here s...
Jemma walks in the conversation.
Jemma: Did you hear...
Jeff: YES!!! Joe here...
Jemma: ...Must've done something. DK walked into the bathroom before Joe, and no-one else walked in. Joe then walked out and was the last person at the male's bathroom before the incident.
Jimmy: How do you know that?
Jemma: I was looking there the whole time.
Jimmy: Why were you looking there?
Jemma: Uh.... Joe what did you do?
Jeff (yells): HE SUPERKICKED DK!!!!
Everyone turns their head towards Jeff.
Crowd member: Who?
Jeff: Um... The guy that yelled 'DK is dead!' He tried to make it look that it wasn't him.
Crowd member: That's logical enough! Arrest him!
The man yelled 'I was framed' repeatedly as he was dragged from the building.
Jeff: Phew.
Joe: Thank you, Jeff.
Jemma: ...that just happened.
This Round:
Seth Lerch vs Kidd Krazzy
Joe Smarts vs Joe Bronie
Joe: Hangs on, who dares steal my name!! I'll got him!
Jeff: But you don't know how to play!!!
Joe: Oh yeah. I doesn't think I even knows how to hold a racket...
Jimmy: Okay, you...
Lilian Garcia: Here is your winner, 12-10, Seth Lerch!!
Jimmy: Oh, you're on. Quick, Joe! Go!
Jimmy pushed Joe towards the ping pong table as Kidd Krazzy walks in.
Kidd Krazzy: Hey. Is Joe here?
Jeff: Nope. Just left. Anyways, how on Earth did you lose? You were winning 9-0!
Kidd Krazzy: I dunno. Seth is better at ping pong than he looks.
Jeff: Apparently he's a professional beer pong player...
Kidd Krazzy: Ah. I see.
---
Joe Smarts is at one end of the table. Joe Bronie is at the other end.
Referee: Play pong!!
Joe Bronie will serve.
Bronie serves successfully serves the ball.
Smarts goes to hit it, but he misses, and lets go off the racket in the process, along with all the momentum. It hits Joe Bronie straight to his nose.
Joe Bronie: AH!! My nose!! You broke it!!
Joe Smarts: Suck it up! It's not like you wrestle anyway!!
Joe Bronie: Fuck you!!
Lilian Garcia: Due to a broken nose, Joe Bronie can no longer play ping pong, so your winner is Joe Smarts!!!
Joe: I won!!
Seth vs Smarts
This Round:
Seth Lerch vs Joe Smarts
We find Jeff taping Joe's hand to the ping pong racket with duct tape.
Joe: Why is you doing this?
Jeff: The last thing you want happening is breaking your boss' nose.
Joe: Point takened.
Jimmy: Are you sure this is legal?
Jeff: I don't think it says 'You are not allowed to duct tape your hand to a racket' anywhere in the rule book.
Jemma: Plus, I checked with Seth. He doesn't want his nose broken, so he allowed us to do this.
Jimmy: Well, can't argue with the boss.
Jeff: Quick, Joe. You're on. Just hit the ball. That's all you need to do.
Joe: Oak's A.
Joe Smarts walks to one end of the table. Seth Lerch walks to the other end.
Lilian Garcia: Due to time delay, this match will be a first to ONE match!!
Now play 'Scissors, Paper, Rock' to see who will serve!
Seth and Joe: Scissors, Paper...
...ROCK!!
Seth pulls Scissors.
Joe pulls Rock.
Lilian Garcia: Joe will serve!
Referee: Play Pong!!
Joe tosses up the ball
Jayson Price walks in
Jayson Price: I see you're playing with balls there, Seth.
Seth turns around.
Joe serves successfully.
Seth is still distracted.
The ping pong ball bounces on the table and then flies past Seth.
Seth then realises that Joe has served but it's too late. The ping pong ball has bounced on the floor. Joe wins.
Lilian Garcia: Here is your winner, and new WCF Ping Pong Champion... JOE SMARTS!!!
Joe Smarts had won, achieved the impossible, and made up a catchy rhyme which can be used at anytime!
Joe: Ding's dong, Bing's bong, here comes the King's Kong of Ping's Pong!
Meanwhile, at the nearest cookie store.
Pomp: Um... Can I get a ultra large triple chocolate double rainbow cookie please?
Waitress: Sure. Would you like juice with that?
Pomp: Did you just say... Deuce?
Waitress: I said juice...
Pomp: Juice... Deuce... DEUCE!!!
Pomp runs out of the building.
Waitress: ...um...