Post by jasoncash on Jan 21, 2017 9:39:12 GMT -5
"Im just worried bout that sumbitch, Mo", Jason Cash said to a ratty bartender. Was his name Mo? Who knew. Jason didnt really give two shits. All he knew was that he needed a beer and this place had it. The place stunk to high heaven. It smells like pig shit, bad choices, and incest. It didn't look much better as the tables were mostly broken, the chairs too. There was hay on a damp, wooden floor. Thick smoke filled the air. It was, to put it simpy, a dump of a country ass bar.
Jason looked to his right where Salem Shepard sat. He looked a bit uncomfortable due to these Deliverance looking mother fuckers staring at him. Jason paid them no mind, however.
"What the fuck are you talking about? Do you want a beer or not?", the bartender asked. Jason nodded his head. He looked over to Salem. "Beer?", Jason asked. Shep nodded. "I think they do have beer, homie.", Shep said. Cash grinned a wide grin. "Naw you crazy sumbitch. Ya want one?", Cash asked. Salem shook his head. He wasn't a beer drinker at all. Cash turned back to the bartender and held up three fingers. "Four please.", Cash said.
The bartender put four bottles of beer on the counter. Jason turned one up, emptying it in one gulp. He then started drinking another. "Mo. Im worried bout that sumbitch.", Cash said. The bartender rolled his eyes. "Who? The painted up freak right there?", the bartender asked. Jason looked over to Shep. "Shep? Hell naw. Even though yer boys over there lickin they lips over him. Naw...My ass is talkin bout Adam Young. That sumbitch looks sick as all hell. He bald headed..kinda skinny. Sumbitch is shaped all weird. I thank he got the aids, Mo.", Jason said. The bartender, who's name was James, rolled his eyes. "I know Adam Young. He aint sick.", James said. Jason shook his head as he finished the second beer. "His ass gotta be, Mo. Sumbitch thank he tough. His ass can't be tough when he's gettin his ass fed to him fuckin constantly. Dude fuckin sucks, Mo. Aint no denyin that.", Cash said.
"Who's the freak with the makeup?"
Jason heard it from his right. He looked over his shoulder where three grown men in ratty overalls were staring at Salem. They weren't large men but they did look like the type who said "squeal like a pig boy!" on a regular basis. Hell they looked like what you'd expect people who come to this piss smelling bar to look like. They had few teeth, dirty hair, and shame in their eyes.
"Fuck you lookin at, homie", Salem asked in a nonchalant tone. Jason expected Salem to be quite pissed, but Salem wore a huge smile on his face.
"We aint sure."
Jason giggled to himself as he started on the fourth beer. Salem looked over. "The fuck you laughin at, Cash", Salem asked. Jason couldn't contain himself anymore. He laughed and spit beer all over the bar. "Dont worry, Shep. We'll protect yer butthole.", Cash laughed. Salem had to do a double take. "Them sumbitches lookin like they want yer butthole, Shep.", Cash added with another laugh.
Only Jason thought it was funny. No one else laughed. No the bartender. Not the three uncle daddy looking guys. And not Salem Shepard. Why? Well..no one could really ever tell what's going on in Shep's head. He might have been thinking that these three homely gentlemen actually wanted to cut out his butthole? This was Texas after all.
"What you say?", asked the shortest of the bunch. He had one brown tooth in his head. His hair was extremely thin and his thicker beard was matter. Jason looked at this uncle daddy with a gin so wide that his dip almost fell out. "I said yall aint gone touch Shep's butthole.", Cash said with that grin.
"We don't take kindly to his kind.", was the reply. Cash just shrugged his shoulders. "You mean the kind what dont let ya lick they butthole?", Cash asked. There was tension in the air and not just the obvious sexual tension coming from the group of uncle daddies. Oh no. There was violence in the air.
"Yall gotta be Adam Young fans.", Shep said with a grin. Cash grinned as well. "How you know, Shep?", Cash asked. Salem Sheppard pointed to each of them. "Cause only pig fuckers route for that fucktard. And these guys? They look like they've fucked a pig or two in their day.", Shep said. Cash laughed so hard he damn near fell off of the broken stool he was sitting on.
"What you say city boy?", the tallest one said. He stood about six feet tall. He had thin brown hair. He had one tooth and one eyebrow. He looked like a Jimmy. "I said yall look like pig fuckers.", Salem said with a laugh. Cash pointed at Jimmy. "Yall been humpin pigs? I reckon that's where the whole squeal like a pig sayin came from?", Cash added. Shep grinned from ear to ear, showing his yello teeth.
"An we don't find that funny neither.", said the fat one. This guy was about as wide as he was tall. Tho meant that he was five and a half feet wide. He wore camo overalls. He was completely bald and had a glass eye. His name was Jacob. Jason took one look at tho guy and laughed. "We don't take kindly to fat midgets neither.", Cash laughed. "Yo..homie...that shit was cold.", Salem added.
" You gone have to leave.", Jacob said, taking a step toward Shep. Did Shep flinch? Why fuck no. Shep reached over, grabbed the beer Cash was drinking, and broke it across Jacob's face. Beer splashed, glass shattered and Jacob fell to the floor...out cold. And that's how the fight started. Jimmy dove at Shep, but was met with a boot to the ribs by Cash. Jimmy fell to the ground, doubled over in pain. Bob, the third guy who looked about the same as the other two, attacked almost immediately. Shep caught the man across the face with one of Jason's empty beer bottles.
So there, on the ground, were three men. Jason and Shep still sat on their broken stools. James, the bartender, stared. He was angry at what had happened.
"I knew you two were trouble!"
Jason shrugged his shoulder. "Not my fault them deliverance sumbitches can't fight.", Jason said to bartender James. "Them sumbitches just like Adam Young, right Shep? All talk..but aint worth a damn.", Jason added as Shep nodded his head. "Yall need to leave before I call the cops.", Bartender James told the duo. The truth was that he'd already called. This wasn't the type of place you wanted to get in trouble with the law either. This was a backwoods place. It was the kind of place where, if you got caught, you may not ever be seen again.
Cash dropped a one hundred dollar bill on the counter and the two left. When Jason Cash opened the door to go outside, the Texas heat slaped him in the face. He'd spent so long in Detroit that he'd forgotten what the humidity could be like down south.
"Damn Shep..Them sumbitches just wanted yer butthole I think.", Jason said, looking over his right shoulder. Shep wasn't paying attention. He was lighting a blunt. Salem Shepard sucked in his veggies and let out a loud cough. "You say something?", Shep asked. "Shit yea! I said them sumbitches just wanted to lick yer butthole I think.", Jason repeated himself. Shep grinned from ear to ear, showing off his deep yellow teeth. "You crazy, homie.", Shep answered.
The two began walking down the dark road. "Who we got this week again?", Jason asked. Shep looked at our hillbilly hero wide eyed. It could have been the veggies. It could have also been the shock of Cash not knowing who they were facing..even though they had talked about it earlier that day.
"We got Adam Young and Austin Adams. The big time jerks. I call them fuckers big tits jiggle though.", Shep said. Cash giggled. "Big Tits Jiggle? Damn Shep.", Cash said. Cash reached under his hat, where he brought a beer to his mouth. It was warm, but beer is beer.
"Adam Young...I can't stand that guy. He had to have been dropped on his sumbitchin head when he was a baby. His ass talks shit like he don't damn it lose so gahdamn constantly. I mean...when was the last time that sumbitch won a match, huh? I know my ass aint never seen his ass gettin his hand raised. Sumbitch always ends the match out cold..Just knocked the hell out. Dont got his ass fed to him. I gotta wonder...What makes that sumbitch even think he gone be on the winnin team anyway? Shit...his ass aint never on the winnin side.
Sumbitch gotta be sick as hell, Shep. How else would htat sumbitchin and his uncle daddy buddy Austin actually think they got a chance in hell?", Jason ranted. Shep shrugged his shoulders. "ONly a sumbitch whats sick in the head would actually think they got a chance, Shep. I mean...He calls his self one sick bastard. So is that him admitting he's sick as hell? It's gotta be.. Cause it sure as hell don’t mean that sumbitch is tough. You remember Adam, Shep? We beat his ass in our second match in wsssf... And we beat his ass good. Didn’t even break a sweat. It was like takin candy from a teeny tiny baby. Dude wasn’t shit then..An his ass aint shit now.", Jason ranted some more. Shep listened between puffs of weed as they walked down that dark road. "I remember, homie. Dude didn’t have shit to say. He just got his ass whooped.", Shep added.
Jason nodded. "I know. That sumbitch just got his ass beat and.....well..then he went and got his ass beat again. Now..I aint exactly a smart man...But damn..I'm startin to see a patern there. You see it, Shep?", Jason asked. Shep grinned. "He gets his ass whooped a lot?", Shep asked. "Fuck year, hoss. That sumbitch takes an ass beatin damn near every single time his ass gets in the ring. And what my ass don’t damn it understand..Is how in the blue hell his ass feels he can talk shit. You seen that shit on the twatter. Dude talks shit almost as much as he gets his ass beat. And that’s a lot of shit..cause that sumbitch gets his ass whooped...Alot. Hell...They call em the big time jerks. I call em the big time flirts. Sumbitch attacks me from behind the other slam.. And I'm like..Oh yea..This gone be a fight! Hell yea! I'm ready! Then..It's fuckin adam young... An I'm thinkin... Hell this shit aint gone be no damn fight! It's gone be a beatin. It aint even gone be fun, Shep. It's just gone be sad.", Jason ranted. Shep, again nodded his head. "I saw, homie. Dude fuckin sucks. Big Titties Jiggle is going down.", Shep added. Jason took a drink of his beer and nodded. "You damn right. Hell.. Austin Adams prolly rethinkin this shit. His ass is prolly thinking he done bit off more than he can damn it chew. And his ass has. His ass teamed witht the worst fuckin wrestler wssssft ever damn it saw. Hell..His ass prolly only teamed with Adam Young cause he's Young's uncle daddy. Hell thatd be the only damn reason any sumbitch would team with Adam Young's terrible ass. It gotta be. Aint no way that mess can be any way else. Austin Adams I Adam Young's uncle daddy. Hell..calls his self the money. We money, Shep. We got money. An we money in the rang. Them sumbitches? Shit naw. They both fuckin suck.", Jason finished his rant. He finished his beer and threw the empty bottle on the road.
The two continued walking, going to wherever sold beer next
Jason looked to his right where Salem Shepard sat. He looked a bit uncomfortable due to these Deliverance looking mother fuckers staring at him. Jason paid them no mind, however.
"What the fuck are you talking about? Do you want a beer or not?", the bartender asked. Jason nodded his head. He looked over to Salem. "Beer?", Jason asked. Shep nodded. "I think they do have beer, homie.", Shep said. Cash grinned a wide grin. "Naw you crazy sumbitch. Ya want one?", Cash asked. Salem shook his head. He wasn't a beer drinker at all. Cash turned back to the bartender and held up three fingers. "Four please.", Cash said.
The bartender put four bottles of beer on the counter. Jason turned one up, emptying it in one gulp. He then started drinking another. "Mo. Im worried bout that sumbitch.", Cash said. The bartender rolled his eyes. "Who? The painted up freak right there?", the bartender asked. Jason looked over to Shep. "Shep? Hell naw. Even though yer boys over there lickin they lips over him. Naw...My ass is talkin bout Adam Young. That sumbitch looks sick as all hell. He bald headed..kinda skinny. Sumbitch is shaped all weird. I thank he got the aids, Mo.", Jason said. The bartender, who's name was James, rolled his eyes. "I know Adam Young. He aint sick.", James said. Jason shook his head as he finished the second beer. "His ass gotta be, Mo. Sumbitch thank he tough. His ass can't be tough when he's gettin his ass fed to him fuckin constantly. Dude fuckin sucks, Mo. Aint no denyin that.", Cash said.
"Who's the freak with the makeup?"
Jason heard it from his right. He looked over his shoulder where three grown men in ratty overalls were staring at Salem. They weren't large men but they did look like the type who said "squeal like a pig boy!" on a regular basis. Hell they looked like what you'd expect people who come to this piss smelling bar to look like. They had few teeth, dirty hair, and shame in their eyes.
"Fuck you lookin at, homie", Salem asked in a nonchalant tone. Jason expected Salem to be quite pissed, but Salem wore a huge smile on his face.
"We aint sure."
Jason giggled to himself as he started on the fourth beer. Salem looked over. "The fuck you laughin at, Cash", Salem asked. Jason couldn't contain himself anymore. He laughed and spit beer all over the bar. "Dont worry, Shep. We'll protect yer butthole.", Cash laughed. Salem had to do a double take. "Them sumbitches lookin like they want yer butthole, Shep.", Cash added with another laugh.
Only Jason thought it was funny. No one else laughed. No the bartender. Not the three uncle daddy looking guys. And not Salem Shepard. Why? Well..no one could really ever tell what's going on in Shep's head. He might have been thinking that these three homely gentlemen actually wanted to cut out his butthole? This was Texas after all.
"What you say?", asked the shortest of the bunch. He had one brown tooth in his head. His hair was extremely thin and his thicker beard was matter. Jason looked at this uncle daddy with a gin so wide that his dip almost fell out. "I said yall aint gone touch Shep's butthole.", Cash said with that grin.
"We don't take kindly to his kind.", was the reply. Cash just shrugged his shoulders. "You mean the kind what dont let ya lick they butthole?", Cash asked. There was tension in the air and not just the obvious sexual tension coming from the group of uncle daddies. Oh no. There was violence in the air.
"Yall gotta be Adam Young fans.", Shep said with a grin. Cash grinned as well. "How you know, Shep?", Cash asked. Salem Sheppard pointed to each of them. "Cause only pig fuckers route for that fucktard. And these guys? They look like they've fucked a pig or two in their day.", Shep said. Cash laughed so hard he damn near fell off of the broken stool he was sitting on.
"What you say city boy?", the tallest one said. He stood about six feet tall. He had thin brown hair. He had one tooth and one eyebrow. He looked like a Jimmy. "I said yall look like pig fuckers.", Salem said with a laugh. Cash pointed at Jimmy. "Yall been humpin pigs? I reckon that's where the whole squeal like a pig sayin came from?", Cash added. Shep grinned from ear to ear, showing his yello teeth.
"An we don't find that funny neither.", said the fat one. This guy was about as wide as he was tall. Tho meant that he was five and a half feet wide. He wore camo overalls. He was completely bald and had a glass eye. His name was Jacob. Jason took one look at tho guy and laughed. "We don't take kindly to fat midgets neither.", Cash laughed. "Yo..homie...that shit was cold.", Salem added.
" You gone have to leave.", Jacob said, taking a step toward Shep. Did Shep flinch? Why fuck no. Shep reached over, grabbed the beer Cash was drinking, and broke it across Jacob's face. Beer splashed, glass shattered and Jacob fell to the floor...out cold. And that's how the fight started. Jimmy dove at Shep, but was met with a boot to the ribs by Cash. Jimmy fell to the ground, doubled over in pain. Bob, the third guy who looked about the same as the other two, attacked almost immediately. Shep caught the man across the face with one of Jason's empty beer bottles.
So there, on the ground, were three men. Jason and Shep still sat on their broken stools. James, the bartender, stared. He was angry at what had happened.
"I knew you two were trouble!"
Jason shrugged his shoulder. "Not my fault them deliverance sumbitches can't fight.", Jason said to bartender James. "Them sumbitches just like Adam Young, right Shep? All talk..but aint worth a damn.", Jason added as Shep nodded his head. "Yall need to leave before I call the cops.", Bartender James told the duo. The truth was that he'd already called. This wasn't the type of place you wanted to get in trouble with the law either. This was a backwoods place. It was the kind of place where, if you got caught, you may not ever be seen again.
Cash dropped a one hundred dollar bill on the counter and the two left. When Jason Cash opened the door to go outside, the Texas heat slaped him in the face. He'd spent so long in Detroit that he'd forgotten what the humidity could be like down south.
"Damn Shep..Them sumbitches just wanted yer butthole I think.", Jason said, looking over his right shoulder. Shep wasn't paying attention. He was lighting a blunt. Salem Shepard sucked in his veggies and let out a loud cough. "You say something?", Shep asked. "Shit yea! I said them sumbitches just wanted to lick yer butthole I think.", Jason repeated himself. Shep grinned from ear to ear, showing off his deep yellow teeth. "You crazy, homie.", Shep answered.
The two began walking down the dark road. "Who we got this week again?", Jason asked. Shep looked at our hillbilly hero wide eyed. It could have been the veggies. It could have also been the shock of Cash not knowing who they were facing..even though they had talked about it earlier that day.
"We got Adam Young and Austin Adams. The big time jerks. I call them fuckers big tits jiggle though.", Shep said. Cash giggled. "Big Tits Jiggle? Damn Shep.", Cash said. Cash reached under his hat, where he brought a beer to his mouth. It was warm, but beer is beer.
"Adam Young...I can't stand that guy. He had to have been dropped on his sumbitchin head when he was a baby. His ass talks shit like he don't damn it lose so gahdamn constantly. I mean...when was the last time that sumbitch won a match, huh? I know my ass aint never seen his ass gettin his hand raised. Sumbitch always ends the match out cold..Just knocked the hell out. Dont got his ass fed to him. I gotta wonder...What makes that sumbitch even think he gone be on the winnin team anyway? Shit...his ass aint never on the winnin side.
Sumbitch gotta be sick as hell, Shep. How else would htat sumbitchin and his uncle daddy buddy Austin actually think they got a chance in hell?", Jason ranted. Shep shrugged his shoulders. "ONly a sumbitch whats sick in the head would actually think they got a chance, Shep. I mean...He calls his self one sick bastard. So is that him admitting he's sick as hell? It's gotta be.. Cause it sure as hell don’t mean that sumbitch is tough. You remember Adam, Shep? We beat his ass in our second match in wsssf... And we beat his ass good. Didn’t even break a sweat. It was like takin candy from a teeny tiny baby. Dude wasn’t shit then..An his ass aint shit now.", Jason ranted some more. Shep listened between puffs of weed as they walked down that dark road. "I remember, homie. Dude didn’t have shit to say. He just got his ass whooped.", Shep added.
Jason nodded. "I know. That sumbitch just got his ass beat and.....well..then he went and got his ass beat again. Now..I aint exactly a smart man...But damn..I'm startin to see a patern there. You see it, Shep?", Jason asked. Shep grinned. "He gets his ass whooped a lot?", Shep asked. "Fuck year, hoss. That sumbitch takes an ass beatin damn near every single time his ass gets in the ring. And what my ass don’t damn it understand..Is how in the blue hell his ass feels he can talk shit. You seen that shit on the twatter. Dude talks shit almost as much as he gets his ass beat. And that’s a lot of shit..cause that sumbitch gets his ass whooped...Alot. Hell...They call em the big time jerks. I call em the big time flirts. Sumbitch attacks me from behind the other slam.. And I'm like..Oh yea..This gone be a fight! Hell yea! I'm ready! Then..It's fuckin adam young... An I'm thinkin... Hell this shit aint gone be no damn fight! It's gone be a beatin. It aint even gone be fun, Shep. It's just gone be sad.", Jason ranted. Shep, again nodded his head. "I saw, homie. Dude fuckin sucks. Big Titties Jiggle is going down.", Shep added. Jason took a drink of his beer and nodded. "You damn right. Hell.. Austin Adams prolly rethinkin this shit. His ass is prolly thinking he done bit off more than he can damn it chew. And his ass has. His ass teamed witht the worst fuckin wrestler wssssft ever damn it saw. Hell..His ass prolly only teamed with Adam Young cause he's Young's uncle daddy. Hell thatd be the only damn reason any sumbitch would team with Adam Young's terrible ass. It gotta be. Aint no way that mess can be any way else. Austin Adams I Adam Young's uncle daddy. Hell..calls his self the money. We money, Shep. We got money. An we money in the rang. Them sumbitches? Shit naw. They both fuckin suck.", Jason finished his rant. He finished his beer and threw the empty bottle on the road.
The two continued walking, going to wherever sold beer next