Post by Earth-616 Holmes on Jan 16, 2017 11:54:18 GMT -5
THE @tumblrholmes BREAKDOWN!
Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to another @tumblrholmes breakdown of a promo. For all my friends who know me pretty well, you never respond to Andre Holmes with a long promo especially about dumb shit. Here, we are going to breakdown the introduction segment to Slam featuring the worst Hardcore Champion of all time, Crazy J!
Right. Let's begin!
"So everyone around the WCF wants to say I am not a great champion… I don’t promote the division hard enough… well you see as a young kid in Detroit I watcher Berry Sanders and he would score a touchdown and hand the belt to the ref. It was the act like you been here before … well that’s how I have been my almost 20 years in this business. I have held so many hardcore titles and winning this one was just another win. I mean I could come out here every week and pull out my dick and be like look at me I am someone…. You know what I did I just beat everyone put before me…. Zmac, Oblivion, Doc Henry, Moor, Kaine, and so many others."
Now...let's cut the bullshit out, shall we? We start with Crazy J complaining that he's not being given enough credit for being a good WCF Hardcore Champion. In his defense, he states that he does in fact promote the WCF Hardcore Championship and the entire division itself. To get everyone to listen, he supports that statement with a life anecdote and his past experience.
Right. Let's begin!
"So everyone around the WCF wants to say I am not a great champion… I don’t promote the division hard enough… well you see as a young kid in Detroit I watcher Berry Sanders and he would score a touchdown and hand the belt to the ref. It was the act like you been here before … well that’s how I have been my almost 20 years in this business. I have held so many hardcore titles and winning this one was just another win. I mean I could come out here every week and pull out my dick and be like look at me I am someone…. You know what I did I just beat everyone put before me…. Zmac, Oblivion, Doc Henry, Moor, Kaine, and so many others."
Now...let's cut the bullshit out, shall we? We start with Crazy J complaining that he's not being given enough credit for being a good WCF Hardcore Champion. In his defense, he states that he does in fact promote the WCF Hardcore Championship and the entire division itself. To get everyone to listen, he supports that statement with a life anecdote and his past experience.
HOWEVER.
In his next statement:
"I have held so many hardcore titles and winning this one was just another win. I mean I could come out here every week and pull out my dick and be like look at me I am someone…. "
Okay, umm what? You started with the notion that you deserve more credit for supporting the promotion then in your next statement, you talk about the WCF Hardcore Championship like it's nothing? You see what I mean people? This guy is all over the place. He starts saying that he promotes the title then buries it as any other regular Hardcore Championship in his "20 years career of Professional Wrestling." Well done Crazy J, well done.
Sorry. Almost lost my cool, let's continue shall we?
"You know what I did I just beat everyone put before me…. Zmac, Oblivion, Doc Henry, Moor, Kaine, and so many others."
"You know what I did I just beat everyone put before me…. Zmac, Oblivion, Doc Henry, Moor, Kaine, and so many others."
"You know what I did I just beat everyone put before me…. Zmac, Oblivion, Doc Henry, Moor, Kaine, and so many others."
"You know what I did I just beat everyone put before me…. Zmac, Oblivion, Doc Henry, Moor, Kaine, and so many others."
"You know what I did I just beat everyone put before me…. Zmac, Oblivion, Doc Henry, Moor, Kaine, and so many others."
"You know what I did I just beat everyone put before me…. Zmac, Oblivion, Doc Henry, Moor, Kaine, and so many others."
"You know what I did I just beat everyone put before me…. Zmac, Oblivion, Doc Henry, Moor, Kaine, and so many others."
"You know what I did I just beat everyone put before me…. Zmac, Oblivion, Doc Henry, Moor, Kaine, and so many others."
"You know what I did I just beat everyone put before me…. Zmac, Oblivion, Doc Henry, Moor, Kaine, and so many others."
ONE RESULTS:
Trios Titles Match
Two Out of Three Falls Match
#beachkrew vs Zero Tolerance
If Wade Moor Pins Crazy J, He Wins the Hardcore Title
Jared Holmes/Johnny Rabid/Wade Moor DEFEATS Jason Cash/Salem Shepard/Crazy J
Trios Titles Match
Two Out of Three Falls Match
#beachkrew vs Zero Tolerance
If Wade Moor Pins Crazy J, He Wins the Hardcore Title
Jared Holmes/Johnny Rabid/Wade Moor DEFEATS Jason Cash/Salem Shepard/Crazy J
Sorry. Almost lost my cool, let's continue shall we?
"I mean this isn’t the world title where you win it and lose it in the next match. But it’s all good I am looking forward to Rise and seeing the next victim of hardcore title. but ladies and gentleman tonight let’s just celebrate and whip are dicks out and act like we have never won a title before."
Wait. Let's look at this again. In the first line, he buries the Hardcore Championship again by quote "I mean this isn't the world title where you win it and lose in the next match." THAT'S PRETTY MUCH HOW EVERY CHAMPIONSHIP WORKS! Is this guy- R U DAMB?!
"but ladies and gentleman tonight let’s just celebrate and whip are dicks out and act like we have never won a title before."
So these guys have the right to be racist and they are willing to expose their private areas on NATIONAL TELEVISION WHICH CHILDREN AND FAMILIES ARE ALL WATCHING?!
I shall be fighting for all of great America!
Now for this section, we're gonna break it down statement by statement.
I shall be fighting for all of great America!
Now for this section, we're gonna break it down statement by statement.
"So I guess last week on the jobber section of the show a former champ came out here and claimed that this was his belt. He went on to say I should hand it over or something I am not really sure where the dumb ass is thinking."
Crazy J opens another piece of his promo by referring to the crowd about Andre Holmes calling him a jobber which of course, nobody thinks. This only proves his lack of research and his own hypocritical ego coming out to hide the fact that Crazy J is ultimately scared. Yes Crazy J, hand me the belt. It's the best option for you.
"So basically this mother fucker is looking for a free handout…. Its funny I don’t walk around with the champion ego and people hate that…. This mother fucker has the entitled ego going and you all embrace him…."
Refer up to the first part of his promo please. Thank you.
"You fucking make me sick…. Some say I don’t like him because he is black…. I don’t like him because he is a pile of shit. Fucker doesn’t deserve a shot but he is going to play the race card and at rise will be in the mix…. Then when he doesn’t win it will because the white man beat him down… fuck that…. "
"You wont be champion mother fucker because I am better then you. I beat people for this belt and I have defended it…. I make the hardcore division have fear. I fucking took this belt and held on to while other mother fuckers was dropping this belt…. So you know what away because I am the greatest hardcore champion ever…."
Examples of Crazy J's racist comments
I don't care what you had when you got fired. This isn't the Obama free phone tent at the hood grocery store...
I feel like I just watched one of those shows on BET or MTV where trash gets on it and just talks... this guy needs help I will pray for him
I don't care what you had when you got fired. This isn't the Obama free phone tent at the hood grocery store...
I feel like I just watched one of those shows on BET or MTV where trash gets on it and just talks... this guy needs help I will pray for him
"You wont be champion mother fucker because I am better then you. I beat people for this belt and I have defended it…. I make the hardcore division have fear. I fucking took this belt and held on to while other mother fuckers was dropping this belt…. So you know what away because I am the greatest hardcore champion ever…."
J. You need to take a breath. I can feel you hyperventilating but this statement is a lie. You don't have an ego? LIAR!
"You see I have like 10 hardcore titles in my life and I only ever lost 2 of them in matches…. I have collected titles all over the world in 20 years"
Crazy J:
- Infinity World Champion
- 1000x Universal Champion
- 2000x Hardcore Champion
- 20 Years Pro Wrestling Experience
Crazy J:
- Infinity World Champion
- 1000x Universal Champion
- 2000x Hardcore Champion
- 20 Years Pro Wrestling Experience
That is bullshit.
Jesus. This is getting too brutal. What's the last thing he said?
Andre Holmes
Midwest Extreme Wrestling:
x1 MEW Undisputed Championship (Inaugural, Unification of MEW World and MEW Championship)
x1 MEW World Championship
MEW Class of Hall of Fame 2012.
World Extreme Federation:
x1 WEF Championship (First to ever win on debut; Longest Reigning (1145 Days); Last)
WEF Class of Hall of Fame 2009.
Wrestling Championship Federation:
x1 WCF Hardcore Championship
x1 WCF Tag Team Championship
United Championship Infinite:
x1 UCI World Heavyweight Championship
x1 UCI Tag Team Championship
14 Years Professional Wrestling Experience.
Midwest Extreme Wrestling:
x1 MEW Undisputed Championship (Inaugural, Unification of MEW World and MEW Championship)
x1 MEW World Championship
MEW Class of Hall of Fame 2012.
World Extreme Federation:
x1 WEF Championship (First to ever win on debut; Longest Reigning (1145 Days); Last)
WEF Class of Hall of Fame 2009.
Wrestling Championship Federation:
x1 WCF Hardcore Championship
x1 WCF Tag Team Championship
United Championship Infinite:
x1 UCI World Heavyweight Championship
x1 UCI Tag Team Championship
14 Years Professional Wrestling Experience.
Jesus. This is getting too brutal. What's the last thing he said?
"I asked for someone to challenge me to a glass grave match… and the only mother fucker that wanted it was Kaine. However, this horned pony has jumped in front screaming this place is racist and bitching up a storm. Well thanks to Lilith and Dag I learned a lot about Horned pony, twitter is amazing…. But be warned whoever it is that gets to face me at Rise Up I am coming to prove myself and more importantly I am coming to beat some ass."
Well Crazy J. I don't know what the hell is a Glass Grave Match. I see you're already trying to copy my shit from the Age of Ultron. "Horned pony" Racist remark again after he says he doesn't like me just because I'm black. YOU MENTION LILITH AND DAG?! They are the two most racist people in the WCF. Oh, who is your opponent?
Andre Holmes: Seth Lerch. You know damn well I deserve my Hardcore Title belt. You owe me for what you did in Mexico. My Age of Ultron match at XIII proved more Hardcore and more entertaining than anything he has done with the belt. Seth Lerch. I want my WCF Hardcore Championship match at Rise against Crazy J of Zero Tolerance!
Seth Lerch: Tell you what. I thought you were just another common mid carder but after you showed some personality two weeks ago by taking out Dion, CJ and doing the same with John Gable in the mix. I'll give credit where credit is due. You haven't lost your touch. You want the match? You got it!
Seth Lerch: Tell you what. I thought you were just another common mid carder but after you showed some personality two weeks ago by taking out Dion, CJ and doing the same with John Gable in the mix. I'll give credit where credit is due. You haven't lost your touch. You want the match? You got it!
See you soon, Crazy J. Let me leave you with a song to cheer you up.