Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2017 16:41:47 GMT -5
Monday, January 9th, (CURRENT YEAR)
7:31 PM
Dagvald’s Compound
Portland, OR
Having recovered from his burn wounds fully, and earned a victory over, hell, a direct pin fall over the current internet champion, Dag is feeling pretty damn good. One two weeks from now, he’ll become number one contender to the internet championship, regardless of who holds it. He’s definitely left a lasting impression on the current champion, and his effort to lul Lilith into a false sense of security has gone well. She is so easily manipulatable. She has the mind of a child when it comes to everything except violence, for some reason she can almost match him there.
With the sun down and the fire burning hungrily, Dag is relaxing out back his compound on a wooden seat he carved from the best parts of that tree he cut down. The darkness has claimed its victim tonight, and early, as is the case in the Pacific Northwest. It has certainly been an adjustment for Dag moving to this new environment, but it could be worse for someone who hadn’t spent a portion of their life in Scandinavia. He’s used to far, far worse. After being spoiled in Roanoke, it is a little odd though. Regardless, the crisp weather is very refreshing to his frazzled nerves.
Trying to reel in Lilith over the past week was an incredibly frustrating feat. In the end, he barely needed her. All he needed was for the fire in himself to be properly reignited. He finally arose from the ashes last night after seeing Kidd and Teddy in the ring. When the reality him in full, and he realized they were obstacles trying to hold him back, he unleashed his full wrath and put them both away in a matter of seconds. He could have done that at any moment in that match and wrapped it up right then. Nothing could have given him a bigger boost to his self confidence than injuring his opponent for Rise Up and pinning the current Internet Champion in one night.
He looks over his shoulder, knowing what is draped across it. He brutalized Teddy so bad, he’ll be surprised if he shows up at Rise Up, let alone Slam. That being said, he didn’t see any reason to give him back the belt he took. Why give a cripple a bicycle? The internet championship looks so nice on my shoulder anyway, Dag thinks to himself, much better than it ever did on that puny manlet Teddy. Looking at the time, he figures the card for the next Slam ought to be posted on the official WCF website by now. He dreads trying to navigate that site. It’s clearly from internet 0.8.1 alpha edition, but to the tech team’s credit there have been several failed attempts at updating which just broke the site further. Pop up ads, dead links, and profiles of wrestlers either dead or retired are prominently featured on the front page. Finally, Dag makes it to the card section.
He roars primitively in outrage and throws his smart phone at the nearest tree. Luckily the big specialized case it’s in prevents it from taking much damage. “This is not what I wanted! I would have been happy with anything else but this! Teaming with Lilith again! Bullshit! And fighting the returning Adam Young and his team, eager to retake the spot he left when he disappeared. The man who beat Joey Flash, for fuck’s sake! I mean, I could take him on my own, but with Lilith holding me back?”
Dag shakes his head in anger and frustration. “No, I won’t let her get in the way. I’ll have to mold her more. She is a sponge, a follower, not a leader. I can fill her pretty little head with my ideals and sick her whomever I choose. I learned that last week. Hell, if this week goes especially well, maybe I can fill her with something else of mine.” He snickers dementedly before heaving himself from his chair, taking care not to let the internet championship fall from his shoulder. He grabs his cell phone and heads back inside.
He sets up a fire to thoroughly cook a piece of the elk from Saturday stored in the ice cabinet. He’s got a long week to go. A number of hideous acts of terrorism have occurred throughout the past few weeks which prove to him the righteousness of his mission. He must not stray from his course. Distractions like Lilith and Adam Young must not make him forget his purpose for returning. This belt, in his hand shining in the candle light back at him, is his mission. The New Media Championship. The key to red pilling the people of the white race. A massive platform like this will allow him to compete directly with mainstream media, something none of his compatriots have yet even been able to attempt.
After a thorough roast he sets up the elk meat fit to serve. Tough, chewy on the outside, but juicy inside, full of protein and nutrients. A better, simpler, healthier, purer life. A traditional life above all else. Beowulf trots over on fluffy padded paws, not making a sound on the stone floor, and nuzzles into his leg. He’s not too proud to beg even though his owner doesn’t want him to get into the habit. “You can hunt your own food. Mice, rats, rabbits, squirrels… don’t look at me like that.”
Beowulf stands up on his hind legs and puts his paws on Dag’s lap. “C’mon, don’t be so pathetic.” Purrrrr… “Fine you little devil. A tiny morsel. You better appreciate it.” He takes a small piece off the chunk on his plate and hands it to Beowulf, who gladly yanks it from his hand and eats it right at his feet. He reaches down and pats him on the head, then pets him down his back. A little stress relief goes a long way in these frustrating times.
However, upon reflection, maybe Dag needs himself a new ally to fight by his side. Perhaps even a friend? Maybe even man’s best friend. A fittingly glorious hunting hound, worthy of protecting him and loyally looking to make his master proud. A canine who would look right at home during an ancient viking raid. They were some of the first to realize the potential of wild wolves and turn down their crazy instincts just enough to harness their fighting energy. For centuries they fought by their side, but “civilization” has robbed them of this right. One key to restoring human nature lies within those who are not human.
Seeing as though his tag team partner, Lilith, loves cute, furry animals, maybe he could actually put her to use once more. He could use this as an opportunity to serve a specific purpose, as he must know he can do before attempting anything. As much as he hates the proposition, he’ll have to give her another call.
January 11th, (CURRENT YEAR)
11:12 AM
Patricia’s Pound of Protected Pupperinos
Seattle, WA
After an absolutely agonizing four hour ride on the Amtrak Cascades with Lilith (who refused to just fly into Seattle and meet him there, she had to meet him in Portland) Dag can see the Puget Sound coming up over the horizon. The highway seems to disappear into it with the sharp curve to the left looming ahead. He looks to his right at Lilith, still talking incessantly about ponies, teddy bears, and eating the entrails out of anatomy class dolls. He looks to his speedometer, reading 72 mph. He puts his blinker on and merges to the outside right lane. He looks at the safety rail set up. It wouldn’t be enough to stop this four wheel drive hummer-esque off roader.
He rises up to 75 miles per hour. The barrier approaches quickly. Lilith reaches over and gives him a tight hug, almost throwing him off course, for the eighth time this ride. He presses on the gas a little harder. The concrete grows closer, and closer. He doesn’t take his eyes off straight ahead, not once. He prepares himself for impact.
His tires screech and Lilith is flung against the side of the car in her seat as she tries to grab hold of something. The sharp left turn at high speed almost brings them scraping the barricade. Not today. Not yet, anyway.
“Lilith, would you mind if I call you Lillianne?” Dag interrupts Lilith’s squeals of excitement without turning to look at her. “It just has so much more, extravagance, to it, if that makes sense.”
To his side Lilith was still rubbing her arm after having it slam into the side of the door due to Dags inferior driving ability. She had completely blanked his last question just trying to figure out where he had taken her and why he had been in such a rush.
“You know, it's a good job I can't feel pain otherwise that would have hurt… you freaking maniac! Didn't anybody ever tell you that you should only drive like a crazy person if your passengers wearing her seatbelt?!” Lilith looked out of the window still not entirely sure where she was. “Where the hell are we anyway, Applejack?”
Dag hears her say “Applejack” and looks for the nearest body of water. Sadly, there are none. Well, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, he thinks to himself. “Lilith, this is a rental car, and I have no intention of returning it, therefore the condition of the car and the quality of my driving is irrelevant. As for where we are, this is Seattle, Washington, apparently the only city with a major rescue mission for dogs in the Pacific Northwest. There are others, but not close enough or with much smaller selection. That’s why I had to quiet the voice of conscience in my head and ask you to come with me. I thought you’d like to see the dogs, and I could teach you a thing or two about reality and what happens to small, cute furry animals.”
Lilith looks at Dag puzzled, she simply can not understand what he had just told her. “But… ummmmmm… don't dogs usually HATE ponies? Are you sure it's really a good idea for us to get you a doggy, Applejack?” she pauses to think about it for a few seconds. “I mean they're cute and all but if one hurt you I'd punch it square in the face!!!” Lilith slams her fist into the dash to demonstrate how she'd do it if such a time came where she had to defend her pony friend from a wild animal attack. “Just like that, see?”
“There is a lot to unpack in what you just said.” Dag rubs his forehead with one hand. “I have no idea where the hell you got the idea that dogs dislike horses. Never in my entire life have I heard anything like that. I would assume they have no preconditioned relationship either way. Dogs and horses cooperate on farms across the planet, Lilianne, without issue, so I’m going to ignore that on that fact and since it has no basis whatsoever on our lives anyway. But it is a surprise to hear you’d come to my aid. You didn’t come off to me like someone capable of empathy, Lilianne.”
Again Lilith looks at Dag confused, “well… I know someone who wasn't paying attention when we went to ponyville the other day. How many freaking dogs do you see hanging around with you and Twilight Sparkles and Rainbow Dash?!” Lilith pauses waiting for Dag to answer her but before he has chance she yells out at the top of her voice “NONE! That's how many! And you know why, Applejack? Cos they're all super jelly of ponies like you! That's why!”
Dag reaches over and puts his entire hand over Lilith’s face. “Your unintelligence is causing me physical pain. No more talking until we get to the dog shelter.” Dag removes his hand to turn up the volume of the Burzum CD he put in. Lilith tries to get a word in, but the music is just too loud.
When they arrive in ten minutes at the shelter and the car turns off, taking the radio with it, again Lilith tries to say something, but Dag jumps out of the car and leans back in the door, pointing at Lilith. “Shush, right now, I don’t want to hear it. All I want out of you is listening as we go through the shelter. You need to pay close attention and learn something for once. I don’t know how much you pay attention to Adam Young, but he’s called One Sick Bastard for a reason, and you’re gonna see when we go in here.” Dag slams the door and begins walking to the door, leaving Lilith thinking to herself what Dag could mean.
Dag introduces himself to Patricia, who is waiting to meet them outside. “My name is Armini Davidson, and this is Lilianne.” They exchange courtesies and are instructed into the building. They stop first past the new in takes, and at his request they are allowed to step in and inspect them. All kinds of scraggly, bandaged, bruised, and recovering dogs are in small cages around the room.
Lilith looks down at the dogs, not really paying much attention to them as she figures that eventually they will show her the cute puppies on the tour and that will be her favorite part of all. As Dag continues to inspect the dogs Lilith wraps her arm around his shoulder and leans in to casually whisper into his ear, “ummmmm, Applejack… why did you give the ugly woman a fake name? Do you realize how crazy that makes you sound?”
“Ugh, Lilith, I gave you a fake name. I don’t want everyone following us around and being able to see we were here. Never trust anyone, Lilianne, that’s rule one in the new world order. Not even rescue shelters. Now, as you can see, these dogs aren’t doing so well. That one’s missing an eye, that one’s missing an ear… hell, that one is missing a leg. Who could do this to such an innocent animal?”
Lilith looks down at the dogs and suddenly it hits her. Before she had shrugged them all off, but no more. She suddenly becomes full of… pretty much every emotion there is as she looks up at Dag with tears in her eyes and her fists clenched tightly, “THOSE FUCKING HORNED PONIES!!! They did this to them didn't they?! DIDN'T THEY?!! I'll fuck them all! I'LL FUCK THEM ALL TO DEATH!!! And then?! THEN?!! I'll build a fucking wall around their cornfield graveyard and make their corpses pay for it!!! I HATE HORNED FUCKING PONIES!!!” Lilith slams her fist right into the wall so hard it literally cracks the paintwork. “HATE THEM!!!”
It seems my brainwashing has slightly backfired, Dag thinks to himself. He wants to blame this on people like Adam Young to prepare her for their match this Sunday, but he doesn’t want to tell her that everything isn’t actually the fault of minorities looking to institute authoritarian control of the planet through white genocide and rioting. “Well you’re not wrong, there are countless numbers of, uh… horned ponies out there who do this kind of thing, like Michael Vick. A disgusting human being who pitted dogs against each other in fights to the death for monetary gain, despite already making untold millions of dollars. However, there are some people who do evil things for other reasons.
“Some people do sick things because they are sick in the head. Some people live far off in the country, secluded from the law and order and healthcare of society, and instead of embracing their roots and traditional values, they allow their inability to survive alone properly to overwhelm them and drive them insane. They commit unspeakable acts of violence, vandalism, and other crimes. They especially target small animals because they cannot fight back. When someone, say, gets beat up by their own brother on a regular basis, how can they try to make up for their own shortcomings? They have to find something even more defenseless, pathetic, and small than they are. It’s their only defense from caving into their suicidal desires.”
Several tears run down Lilith's cheeks as she looks between Dag and the poor animals standing around by her feet, “this… this… I can't believe this stuff you're telling me, Applejack. You mean people actually do this stuff and it makes them feel GOOD about themselves?! Are these like some sort of super mutant hybrid horned pony or something because these ones sound WAY worse than the ones you told me about before!”
“Ah, well, some of them are horned ponies like Michael Vick, but in the explanation I told you, some of them wouldn’t really be called horned ponies technically. However, they are just as demented, if not worse. But do keep in mind, actually, all horned ponies are this bad, yeah, evil in fact. They all hate animals because they are often more intelligent than they are, so treating them like stupid housepets is their own way of oppressing them and making themselves feel better. But the people who do violence to them are another story. People like… Adam Young.”
Lilith wipes her tears away as she looks up at Dag, rage quite clearly visible within her, “I'm going to fucking kill him! NO!!! Imma torture him! Imma do it nice and slow, imma make him feel pain he's never felt before! Imma make him WISH he was dead! Imma make him beg me to do it! To kill him! To put him down like he does these poor doggies! I am SICK OF THIS SHIT!!!” Lilith begins to pace angrily back and forth looking like she's ready to rip someone's head clean off, “there has to be something we can do, Applejack! Somewhere we can go where people think like us! Tell me what to do! Imma do it! Adam Young and all people like him are SCUM!!! And all they deserve is pain and suffering and DEATH, Applejack! DEATH TO THEM ALL!!!”
She’s just putty in my hands, Dag thinks. It seems much easier this time around. Maybe he just chose a far more efficient method. “Well, yes, there is somewhere we can go to learn about how to deal with people like Adam Young, and what we can do about them, the unicorns, and pretty much everyone else who wants to see this planet destroyed. Actually, I was planning on attending a meeting later this week already. But, for the love of our forebears, Lilith, you would have to be on your best behavior you’ve ever exhibited in your entire life. We can worry about that later, though. Right now, I’d like to try and explain a bit better to you why these people do what they do.”
Dag kneels down and points out the nearest rescue dog. His eye is sealed shut, a scar running down it. His ear has a bite mark in it, leaving a chunk missing. His leg is bandaged thickly. His side is missing tufts of fur, showing more bite and scratch marks. “This, Lilith, should look familiar. Coincidentally, can you think of someone who looks like this? Ugly, pathetic, battered and beaten. Sad, miserable, an inferiority complex obviously showing through. Yet still he bears his teeth and growls, if only in a fruitless attempt to try and warn off anyone who would bother doing him even more harm. I can think of someone like this.”
Lilith nods her head slowly, still on the brink of having a complete meltdown, “yep, it sounds like that piece of TRASH Adam Young to me! But… Applejack, even though the doggy here looks, acts, smells and behaves like Adam Young… you gots to believe that this doggy IS better than Adam Young because this doggy gots feelings and cares and he can be SAVED! Right? That's why you've brought me here, right?! We're going to save all these dogs?”
“Well, I can’t save all these dogs, Lilith, but I don’t need to. They’re here, in a rescue shelter, where good people come to rescue them. They’ve been treated, healed and taken care of to the best of the vets’ abilities and they’re almost ready to be taken home. These dogs aren’t quite ready to be taken home just yet. In time, though, they will be adopted, I’m sure. In the other room, though, are plenty of dogs eager to be taken home. You have a great point about Adam Young, though. Even this dog maintains more humanity than he does. Adam may serve as an inspiration in his ruthlessness in the ring, but that’s different. What we do is a sport. Outside of the ring, he is just a disgusting individual who deserves no respect. We’ll teach him to respect us this Sunday, right Lilith?”
Lilith looks across at Dag and eventually shakes her head going against what he just said to her, “No. People like Adam Young, those horned pony FUCKS and god only knows what else… they aren't capable of things like that, Applejack! They can't show people respect because they aren't capable of it! That is why the best thing for him and everyone like him is death! Even I know that if a dog keeps biting the hand which feeds it that dog gets put down… and the exact same thing should happen to all those retards, black skins and ummmmm… doggy beaters!”
Dag smiled while with Lilith for the first time. “Now you’re getting it. Now you’re ready to fight. You’re ready to face One Sick Bastard and whoever the hell his tag partner is. He doesn’t matter anyway though, everyone only knows Adam Young, if either of them. But that’s enough getting worked up, wouldn’t you agree? Let’s go pick out the perfect dog for m… er, for us to rescue. Sound good?”
Lilith nods her head, trying her hardest to calm down after what Dag had just talked to her about. She didn't usually get so heated like this but the mere thought of someone hurting a defenseless puppy just pushed her over the edge. “Yeppers, and then afterwards you can take me out for ice cream, Applejack!”
Dag rubs his forehead again. “You have to stop calling me Applejack first. I’m serious.” They walk to the adoption room and start inspecting the animals. Dag heads straight to a particular cage, but Lilith starts sprinting between each one, trying to process them all at once.
Eventually Lilith spots the cage which contains the cutest, fluffiest little brown and white puppies she has ever seen and rushes into the cage. She spends several moments awwwwing each of them before beginning to shove puppies down her top and inside her bra, after collecting each puppy and successfully storing them somewhere on herself Lilith turns around and walks back out towards the door, “Okay I think we’re done here.”
Dag turns away from the large dog he’s inspecting intently and notices Lilith’s larger than normal breasts are wriggling about. “Lilith. Are there puppies in your bra?”
Lilith gasps and slaps Dag across his face, a little harder than she actually meant to as she turns her back on him in disgust, “how rude, Applejack! You don't ask a lady a question like that! And they're called boobs!”
“God fucking damnit Lilith, put those dogs back, stop calling me Applejack, and don’t ever slap me again!” Dag walks beside her and spots the empty cell. It has an open top, assuming the puppies are too small to jump out, and not expecting someone as bizarre as Lilith. “I said put them back, now! I can’t put this dog in my pocket, and he’s the one I want! Crying out loud, if they’re that important, I will get you one, but you have to cooperate like a normal fucking person.”
Lilith turns around and faces Dag, she looks like she's about ready to slap him, again, “Applejack, let's pretend for one moment that I actually do have puppies hidden on me… even if I did… AND I'M NOT SAYING I DO… what sort of MONSTER do you think I am where I'd just give up my babies just because someone of higher authority tells me to?! You think I'm some kinda ghetto living horned pony or something?! Huh?!” Lilith pokes Dag in his chest, “HUH?!”
Dag shoves her frail little finger away, just as a puppy pokes its head out of her bra. She scrambles to put him back in, but a second pupper peeks out too. “I’ll say it one more time. Put the puppies back, or I won’t take you out for ice cream.”
Lilith stands in front of Dag and starts to cry as she struggles to keep the puppies in place, “you can't take my babies away from me! I love them!”
“Then maybe you should buy them! I offered to buy you one, but apparently that wasn’t enough, and I’m not a bloody charity case, Lilith. Pick one or buy however you want, I’m not gonna stop you from spending your money how you want, but I am not letting you put yourself and I in danger of the law by stealing some damn orphaned puppies from a rescue shelter!”
Lilith pauses to think about her options before finally responding to Dag, “Why do we even need to BUY them? Can't we just like… accidentally just kill everyone who works here and take them for free? Pfffffft good luck to whatever ghost wants to haunt me for payments is all Imma say!”
“You need to stop being more ruthless than me, it’s pissing me off! We could kill everyone here, but we wouldn’t get away with it, and you can’t fly a hundred dogs back to wherever the hell you live. I’m giving you one last chance before I buy this dog myself, drive off with him and leave you here. What’s it gonna be?”
Lilith stops and thinks about what she should do here for way longer than she really needed to. She wants to kill the girl she saw earlier so bad but she knew Dag won't be happy about it. Eventually she sighs and looks up at Dag with big puppy eyes, “okay fine, take them back. I bet Logan would have let me keep all of them.” Lilith sighs as she looks at Dag.
“Well I’m not Logan. Even if sometimes I wish I was. Haven’t you seen or heard from him? It’s been a long ass time, too damn long. If he were here, we wouldn’t be having these problems. He stuck by me til the company collapsed in on itself. I wonder if he knows I’m back… Anyway, thank you, Lilith, for making this easy. I’ve picked out this spectacular specimen of a Norwegian Elkhound. Isn’t he just handsome? Muscular, intimidating, attentive, friendly. Everything I came here for. If you would still like one puppy, I’ll get it. But- only if you agree to come with me to a Eurocentrist meeting on Saturday. Even if it’s boring! Deal?”
“...do they give out free cookies?”
“No, but for crying out loud I can get you a damn cookie, Lilith. Now shush and pick a puppy, then come with me and let’s take these guys home.”
Lilith sighs as she steps back into the puppy pen, taking puppy after puppy out of her top, she eventually sits them all down in a neat row before looking at them all with sad eyes, “well, it's been one hell of an adventure hasn't it… I just want you all to know that this isn't your fault. Mommy and Daddy just can't afford to keep you all is all so we need to leave you here in this cage where you'll probably starve to death and die. I love you all so very much…” Lilith scans over the puppies and finally picks one up putting it back into her top, “except for this one, this one I love the most of all.” Lilith turns around and looks over at Dag who now looks like he's completely lost all patience. “Applejack, do you want to come and say goodbye?”
Dag shakes his head in frustration. “For one minute, just one, can’t you just stop being so… Lilith?” He doesn’t realize the irony of what he’s saying.
“Okay bye puppies, be good to each other!” Lilith steps away from the pen and heads over to the counter where they proceed to pay for one super ugly dog and a super adorable puppy. Dag and Lilith then head out the door, where Dag will soon find that Lilith actually had more puppies stored in her top than he realized.
7:31 PM
Dagvald’s Compound
Portland, OR
Having recovered from his burn wounds fully, and earned a victory over, hell, a direct pin fall over the current internet champion, Dag is feeling pretty damn good. One two weeks from now, he’ll become number one contender to the internet championship, regardless of who holds it. He’s definitely left a lasting impression on the current champion, and his effort to lul Lilith into a false sense of security has gone well. She is so easily manipulatable. She has the mind of a child when it comes to everything except violence, for some reason she can almost match him there.
With the sun down and the fire burning hungrily, Dag is relaxing out back his compound on a wooden seat he carved from the best parts of that tree he cut down. The darkness has claimed its victim tonight, and early, as is the case in the Pacific Northwest. It has certainly been an adjustment for Dag moving to this new environment, but it could be worse for someone who hadn’t spent a portion of their life in Scandinavia. He’s used to far, far worse. After being spoiled in Roanoke, it is a little odd though. Regardless, the crisp weather is very refreshing to his frazzled nerves.
Trying to reel in Lilith over the past week was an incredibly frustrating feat. In the end, he barely needed her. All he needed was for the fire in himself to be properly reignited. He finally arose from the ashes last night after seeing Kidd and Teddy in the ring. When the reality him in full, and he realized they were obstacles trying to hold him back, he unleashed his full wrath and put them both away in a matter of seconds. He could have done that at any moment in that match and wrapped it up right then. Nothing could have given him a bigger boost to his self confidence than injuring his opponent for Rise Up and pinning the current Internet Champion in one night.
He looks over his shoulder, knowing what is draped across it. He brutalized Teddy so bad, he’ll be surprised if he shows up at Rise Up, let alone Slam. That being said, he didn’t see any reason to give him back the belt he took. Why give a cripple a bicycle? The internet championship looks so nice on my shoulder anyway, Dag thinks to himself, much better than it ever did on that puny manlet Teddy. Looking at the time, he figures the card for the next Slam ought to be posted on the official WCF website by now. He dreads trying to navigate that site. It’s clearly from internet 0.8.1 alpha edition, but to the tech team’s credit there have been several failed attempts at updating which just broke the site further. Pop up ads, dead links, and profiles of wrestlers either dead or retired are prominently featured on the front page. Finally, Dag makes it to the card section.
He roars primitively in outrage and throws his smart phone at the nearest tree. Luckily the big specialized case it’s in prevents it from taking much damage. “This is not what I wanted! I would have been happy with anything else but this! Teaming with Lilith again! Bullshit! And fighting the returning Adam Young and his team, eager to retake the spot he left when he disappeared. The man who beat Joey Flash, for fuck’s sake! I mean, I could take him on my own, but with Lilith holding me back?”
Dag shakes his head in anger and frustration. “No, I won’t let her get in the way. I’ll have to mold her more. She is a sponge, a follower, not a leader. I can fill her pretty little head with my ideals and sick her whomever I choose. I learned that last week. Hell, if this week goes especially well, maybe I can fill her with something else of mine.” He snickers dementedly before heaving himself from his chair, taking care not to let the internet championship fall from his shoulder. He grabs his cell phone and heads back inside.
He sets up a fire to thoroughly cook a piece of the elk from Saturday stored in the ice cabinet. He’s got a long week to go. A number of hideous acts of terrorism have occurred throughout the past few weeks which prove to him the righteousness of his mission. He must not stray from his course. Distractions like Lilith and Adam Young must not make him forget his purpose for returning. This belt, in his hand shining in the candle light back at him, is his mission. The New Media Championship. The key to red pilling the people of the white race. A massive platform like this will allow him to compete directly with mainstream media, something none of his compatriots have yet even been able to attempt.
After a thorough roast he sets up the elk meat fit to serve. Tough, chewy on the outside, but juicy inside, full of protein and nutrients. A better, simpler, healthier, purer life. A traditional life above all else. Beowulf trots over on fluffy padded paws, not making a sound on the stone floor, and nuzzles into his leg. He’s not too proud to beg even though his owner doesn’t want him to get into the habit. “You can hunt your own food. Mice, rats, rabbits, squirrels… don’t look at me like that.”
Beowulf stands up on his hind legs and puts his paws on Dag’s lap. “C’mon, don’t be so pathetic.” Purrrrr… “Fine you little devil. A tiny morsel. You better appreciate it.” He takes a small piece off the chunk on his plate and hands it to Beowulf, who gladly yanks it from his hand and eats it right at his feet. He reaches down and pats him on the head, then pets him down his back. A little stress relief goes a long way in these frustrating times.
However, upon reflection, maybe Dag needs himself a new ally to fight by his side. Perhaps even a friend? Maybe even man’s best friend. A fittingly glorious hunting hound, worthy of protecting him and loyally looking to make his master proud. A canine who would look right at home during an ancient viking raid. They were some of the first to realize the potential of wild wolves and turn down their crazy instincts just enough to harness their fighting energy. For centuries they fought by their side, but “civilization” has robbed them of this right. One key to restoring human nature lies within those who are not human.
Seeing as though his tag team partner, Lilith, loves cute, furry animals, maybe he could actually put her to use once more. He could use this as an opportunity to serve a specific purpose, as he must know he can do before attempting anything. As much as he hates the proposition, he’ll have to give her another call.
January 11th, (CURRENT YEAR)
11:12 AM
Patricia’s Pound of Protected Pupperinos
Seattle, WA
After an absolutely agonizing four hour ride on the Amtrak Cascades with Lilith (who refused to just fly into Seattle and meet him there, she had to meet him in Portland) Dag can see the Puget Sound coming up over the horizon. The highway seems to disappear into it with the sharp curve to the left looming ahead. He looks to his right at Lilith, still talking incessantly about ponies, teddy bears, and eating the entrails out of anatomy class dolls. He looks to his speedometer, reading 72 mph. He puts his blinker on and merges to the outside right lane. He looks at the safety rail set up. It wouldn’t be enough to stop this four wheel drive hummer-esque off roader.
He rises up to 75 miles per hour. The barrier approaches quickly. Lilith reaches over and gives him a tight hug, almost throwing him off course, for the eighth time this ride. He presses on the gas a little harder. The concrete grows closer, and closer. He doesn’t take his eyes off straight ahead, not once. He prepares himself for impact.
His tires screech and Lilith is flung against the side of the car in her seat as she tries to grab hold of something. The sharp left turn at high speed almost brings them scraping the barricade. Not today. Not yet, anyway.
“Lilith, would you mind if I call you Lillianne?” Dag interrupts Lilith’s squeals of excitement without turning to look at her. “It just has so much more, extravagance, to it, if that makes sense.”
To his side Lilith was still rubbing her arm after having it slam into the side of the door due to Dags inferior driving ability. She had completely blanked his last question just trying to figure out where he had taken her and why he had been in such a rush.
“You know, it's a good job I can't feel pain otherwise that would have hurt… you freaking maniac! Didn't anybody ever tell you that you should only drive like a crazy person if your passengers wearing her seatbelt?!” Lilith looked out of the window still not entirely sure where she was. “Where the hell are we anyway, Applejack?”
Dag hears her say “Applejack” and looks for the nearest body of water. Sadly, there are none. Well, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, he thinks to himself. “Lilith, this is a rental car, and I have no intention of returning it, therefore the condition of the car and the quality of my driving is irrelevant. As for where we are, this is Seattle, Washington, apparently the only city with a major rescue mission for dogs in the Pacific Northwest. There are others, but not close enough or with much smaller selection. That’s why I had to quiet the voice of conscience in my head and ask you to come with me. I thought you’d like to see the dogs, and I could teach you a thing or two about reality and what happens to small, cute furry animals.”
Lilith looks at Dag puzzled, she simply can not understand what he had just told her. “But… ummmmmm… don't dogs usually HATE ponies? Are you sure it's really a good idea for us to get you a doggy, Applejack?” she pauses to think about it for a few seconds. “I mean they're cute and all but if one hurt you I'd punch it square in the face!!!” Lilith slams her fist into the dash to demonstrate how she'd do it if such a time came where she had to defend her pony friend from a wild animal attack. “Just like that, see?”
“There is a lot to unpack in what you just said.” Dag rubs his forehead with one hand. “I have no idea where the hell you got the idea that dogs dislike horses. Never in my entire life have I heard anything like that. I would assume they have no preconditioned relationship either way. Dogs and horses cooperate on farms across the planet, Lilianne, without issue, so I’m going to ignore that on that fact and since it has no basis whatsoever on our lives anyway. But it is a surprise to hear you’d come to my aid. You didn’t come off to me like someone capable of empathy, Lilianne.”
Again Lilith looks at Dag confused, “well… I know someone who wasn't paying attention when we went to ponyville the other day. How many freaking dogs do you see hanging around with you and Twilight Sparkles and Rainbow Dash?!” Lilith pauses waiting for Dag to answer her but before he has chance she yells out at the top of her voice “NONE! That's how many! And you know why, Applejack? Cos they're all super jelly of ponies like you! That's why!”
Dag reaches over and puts his entire hand over Lilith’s face. “Your unintelligence is causing me physical pain. No more talking until we get to the dog shelter.” Dag removes his hand to turn up the volume of the Burzum CD he put in. Lilith tries to get a word in, but the music is just too loud.
When they arrive in ten minutes at the shelter and the car turns off, taking the radio with it, again Lilith tries to say something, but Dag jumps out of the car and leans back in the door, pointing at Lilith. “Shush, right now, I don’t want to hear it. All I want out of you is listening as we go through the shelter. You need to pay close attention and learn something for once. I don’t know how much you pay attention to Adam Young, but he’s called One Sick Bastard for a reason, and you’re gonna see when we go in here.” Dag slams the door and begins walking to the door, leaving Lilith thinking to herself what Dag could mean.
Dag introduces himself to Patricia, who is waiting to meet them outside. “My name is Armini Davidson, and this is Lilianne.” They exchange courtesies and are instructed into the building. They stop first past the new in takes, and at his request they are allowed to step in and inspect them. All kinds of scraggly, bandaged, bruised, and recovering dogs are in small cages around the room.
Lilith looks down at the dogs, not really paying much attention to them as she figures that eventually they will show her the cute puppies on the tour and that will be her favorite part of all. As Dag continues to inspect the dogs Lilith wraps her arm around his shoulder and leans in to casually whisper into his ear, “ummmmm, Applejack… why did you give the ugly woman a fake name? Do you realize how crazy that makes you sound?”
“Ugh, Lilith, I gave you a fake name. I don’t want everyone following us around and being able to see we were here. Never trust anyone, Lilianne, that’s rule one in the new world order. Not even rescue shelters. Now, as you can see, these dogs aren’t doing so well. That one’s missing an eye, that one’s missing an ear… hell, that one is missing a leg. Who could do this to such an innocent animal?”
Lilith looks down at the dogs and suddenly it hits her. Before she had shrugged them all off, but no more. She suddenly becomes full of… pretty much every emotion there is as she looks up at Dag with tears in her eyes and her fists clenched tightly, “THOSE FUCKING HORNED PONIES!!! They did this to them didn't they?! DIDN'T THEY?!! I'll fuck them all! I'LL FUCK THEM ALL TO DEATH!!! And then?! THEN?!! I'll build a fucking wall around their cornfield graveyard and make their corpses pay for it!!! I HATE HORNED FUCKING PONIES!!!” Lilith slams her fist right into the wall so hard it literally cracks the paintwork. “HATE THEM!!!”
It seems my brainwashing has slightly backfired, Dag thinks to himself. He wants to blame this on people like Adam Young to prepare her for their match this Sunday, but he doesn’t want to tell her that everything isn’t actually the fault of minorities looking to institute authoritarian control of the planet through white genocide and rioting. “Well you’re not wrong, there are countless numbers of, uh… horned ponies out there who do this kind of thing, like Michael Vick. A disgusting human being who pitted dogs against each other in fights to the death for monetary gain, despite already making untold millions of dollars. However, there are some people who do evil things for other reasons.
“Some people do sick things because they are sick in the head. Some people live far off in the country, secluded from the law and order and healthcare of society, and instead of embracing their roots and traditional values, they allow their inability to survive alone properly to overwhelm them and drive them insane. They commit unspeakable acts of violence, vandalism, and other crimes. They especially target small animals because they cannot fight back. When someone, say, gets beat up by their own brother on a regular basis, how can they try to make up for their own shortcomings? They have to find something even more defenseless, pathetic, and small than they are. It’s their only defense from caving into their suicidal desires.”
Several tears run down Lilith's cheeks as she looks between Dag and the poor animals standing around by her feet, “this… this… I can't believe this stuff you're telling me, Applejack. You mean people actually do this stuff and it makes them feel GOOD about themselves?! Are these like some sort of super mutant hybrid horned pony or something because these ones sound WAY worse than the ones you told me about before!”
“Ah, well, some of them are horned ponies like Michael Vick, but in the explanation I told you, some of them wouldn’t really be called horned ponies technically. However, they are just as demented, if not worse. But do keep in mind, actually, all horned ponies are this bad, yeah, evil in fact. They all hate animals because they are often more intelligent than they are, so treating them like stupid housepets is their own way of oppressing them and making themselves feel better. But the people who do violence to them are another story. People like… Adam Young.”
Lilith wipes her tears away as she looks up at Dag, rage quite clearly visible within her, “I'm going to fucking kill him! NO!!! Imma torture him! Imma do it nice and slow, imma make him feel pain he's never felt before! Imma make him WISH he was dead! Imma make him beg me to do it! To kill him! To put him down like he does these poor doggies! I am SICK OF THIS SHIT!!!” Lilith begins to pace angrily back and forth looking like she's ready to rip someone's head clean off, “there has to be something we can do, Applejack! Somewhere we can go where people think like us! Tell me what to do! Imma do it! Adam Young and all people like him are SCUM!!! And all they deserve is pain and suffering and DEATH, Applejack! DEATH TO THEM ALL!!!”
She’s just putty in my hands, Dag thinks. It seems much easier this time around. Maybe he just chose a far more efficient method. “Well, yes, there is somewhere we can go to learn about how to deal with people like Adam Young, and what we can do about them, the unicorns, and pretty much everyone else who wants to see this planet destroyed. Actually, I was planning on attending a meeting later this week already. But, for the love of our forebears, Lilith, you would have to be on your best behavior you’ve ever exhibited in your entire life. We can worry about that later, though. Right now, I’d like to try and explain a bit better to you why these people do what they do.”
Dag kneels down and points out the nearest rescue dog. His eye is sealed shut, a scar running down it. His ear has a bite mark in it, leaving a chunk missing. His leg is bandaged thickly. His side is missing tufts of fur, showing more bite and scratch marks. “This, Lilith, should look familiar. Coincidentally, can you think of someone who looks like this? Ugly, pathetic, battered and beaten. Sad, miserable, an inferiority complex obviously showing through. Yet still he bears his teeth and growls, if only in a fruitless attempt to try and warn off anyone who would bother doing him even more harm. I can think of someone like this.”
Lilith nods her head slowly, still on the brink of having a complete meltdown, “yep, it sounds like that piece of TRASH Adam Young to me! But… Applejack, even though the doggy here looks, acts, smells and behaves like Adam Young… you gots to believe that this doggy IS better than Adam Young because this doggy gots feelings and cares and he can be SAVED! Right? That's why you've brought me here, right?! We're going to save all these dogs?”
“Well, I can’t save all these dogs, Lilith, but I don’t need to. They’re here, in a rescue shelter, where good people come to rescue them. They’ve been treated, healed and taken care of to the best of the vets’ abilities and they’re almost ready to be taken home. These dogs aren’t quite ready to be taken home just yet. In time, though, they will be adopted, I’m sure. In the other room, though, are plenty of dogs eager to be taken home. You have a great point about Adam Young, though. Even this dog maintains more humanity than he does. Adam may serve as an inspiration in his ruthlessness in the ring, but that’s different. What we do is a sport. Outside of the ring, he is just a disgusting individual who deserves no respect. We’ll teach him to respect us this Sunday, right Lilith?”
Lilith looks across at Dag and eventually shakes her head going against what he just said to her, “No. People like Adam Young, those horned pony FUCKS and god only knows what else… they aren't capable of things like that, Applejack! They can't show people respect because they aren't capable of it! That is why the best thing for him and everyone like him is death! Even I know that if a dog keeps biting the hand which feeds it that dog gets put down… and the exact same thing should happen to all those retards, black skins and ummmmm… doggy beaters!”
Dag smiled while with Lilith for the first time. “Now you’re getting it. Now you’re ready to fight. You’re ready to face One Sick Bastard and whoever the hell his tag partner is. He doesn’t matter anyway though, everyone only knows Adam Young, if either of them. But that’s enough getting worked up, wouldn’t you agree? Let’s go pick out the perfect dog for m… er, for us to rescue. Sound good?”
Lilith nods her head, trying her hardest to calm down after what Dag had just talked to her about. She didn't usually get so heated like this but the mere thought of someone hurting a defenseless puppy just pushed her over the edge. “Yeppers, and then afterwards you can take me out for ice cream, Applejack!”
Dag rubs his forehead again. “You have to stop calling me Applejack first. I’m serious.” They walk to the adoption room and start inspecting the animals. Dag heads straight to a particular cage, but Lilith starts sprinting between each one, trying to process them all at once.
Eventually Lilith spots the cage which contains the cutest, fluffiest little brown and white puppies she has ever seen and rushes into the cage. She spends several moments awwwwing each of them before beginning to shove puppies down her top and inside her bra, after collecting each puppy and successfully storing them somewhere on herself Lilith turns around and walks back out towards the door, “Okay I think we’re done here.”
Dag turns away from the large dog he’s inspecting intently and notices Lilith’s larger than normal breasts are wriggling about. “Lilith. Are there puppies in your bra?”
Lilith gasps and slaps Dag across his face, a little harder than she actually meant to as she turns her back on him in disgust, “how rude, Applejack! You don't ask a lady a question like that! And they're called boobs!”
“God fucking damnit Lilith, put those dogs back, stop calling me Applejack, and don’t ever slap me again!” Dag walks beside her and spots the empty cell. It has an open top, assuming the puppies are too small to jump out, and not expecting someone as bizarre as Lilith. “I said put them back, now! I can’t put this dog in my pocket, and he’s the one I want! Crying out loud, if they’re that important, I will get you one, but you have to cooperate like a normal fucking person.”
Lilith turns around and faces Dag, she looks like she's about ready to slap him, again, “Applejack, let's pretend for one moment that I actually do have puppies hidden on me… even if I did… AND I'M NOT SAYING I DO… what sort of MONSTER do you think I am where I'd just give up my babies just because someone of higher authority tells me to?! You think I'm some kinda ghetto living horned pony or something?! Huh?!” Lilith pokes Dag in his chest, “HUH?!”
Dag shoves her frail little finger away, just as a puppy pokes its head out of her bra. She scrambles to put him back in, but a second pupper peeks out too. “I’ll say it one more time. Put the puppies back, or I won’t take you out for ice cream.”
Lilith stands in front of Dag and starts to cry as she struggles to keep the puppies in place, “you can't take my babies away from me! I love them!”
“Then maybe you should buy them! I offered to buy you one, but apparently that wasn’t enough, and I’m not a bloody charity case, Lilith. Pick one or buy however you want, I’m not gonna stop you from spending your money how you want, but I am not letting you put yourself and I in danger of the law by stealing some damn orphaned puppies from a rescue shelter!”
Lilith pauses to think about her options before finally responding to Dag, “Why do we even need to BUY them? Can't we just like… accidentally just kill everyone who works here and take them for free? Pfffffft good luck to whatever ghost wants to haunt me for payments is all Imma say!”
“You need to stop being more ruthless than me, it’s pissing me off! We could kill everyone here, but we wouldn’t get away with it, and you can’t fly a hundred dogs back to wherever the hell you live. I’m giving you one last chance before I buy this dog myself, drive off with him and leave you here. What’s it gonna be?”
Lilith stops and thinks about what she should do here for way longer than she really needed to. She wants to kill the girl she saw earlier so bad but she knew Dag won't be happy about it. Eventually she sighs and looks up at Dag with big puppy eyes, “okay fine, take them back. I bet Logan would have let me keep all of them.” Lilith sighs as she looks at Dag.
“Well I’m not Logan. Even if sometimes I wish I was. Haven’t you seen or heard from him? It’s been a long ass time, too damn long. If he were here, we wouldn’t be having these problems. He stuck by me til the company collapsed in on itself. I wonder if he knows I’m back… Anyway, thank you, Lilith, for making this easy. I’ve picked out this spectacular specimen of a Norwegian Elkhound. Isn’t he just handsome? Muscular, intimidating, attentive, friendly. Everything I came here for. If you would still like one puppy, I’ll get it. But- only if you agree to come with me to a Eurocentrist meeting on Saturday. Even if it’s boring! Deal?”
“...do they give out free cookies?”
“No, but for crying out loud I can get you a damn cookie, Lilith. Now shush and pick a puppy, then come with me and let’s take these guys home.”
Lilith sighs as she steps back into the puppy pen, taking puppy after puppy out of her top, she eventually sits them all down in a neat row before looking at them all with sad eyes, “well, it's been one hell of an adventure hasn't it… I just want you all to know that this isn't your fault. Mommy and Daddy just can't afford to keep you all is all so we need to leave you here in this cage where you'll probably starve to death and die. I love you all so very much…” Lilith scans over the puppies and finally picks one up putting it back into her top, “except for this one, this one I love the most of all.” Lilith turns around and looks over at Dag who now looks like he's completely lost all patience. “Applejack, do you want to come and say goodbye?”
Dag shakes his head in frustration. “For one minute, just one, can’t you just stop being so… Lilith?” He doesn’t realize the irony of what he’s saying.
“Okay bye puppies, be good to each other!” Lilith steps away from the pen and heads over to the counter where they proceed to pay for one super ugly dog and a super adorable puppy. Dag and Lilith then head out the door, where Dag will soon find that Lilith actually had more puppies stored in her top than he realized.