Post by "The Real Deal" Jason O'Neal on Dec 29, 2016 22:29:20 GMT -5
BRING BACK THE U.S. TITLE: Statement by O’Neal’s Public Relations Department
The thought of the day. Several thousand fans blogging and the talent in the back is getting restless as well. What does Jason O’Neal think about it? He is the current Alpha Champion and everyone knows that the Alpha Championship was the United States Championship prior to CJ Phoenix sucking all over the place. Where does this debate leave the current Alpha champion?
Almost one month from a World Title shot is where it leaves him. October 30, 2016 is three months away from January 30th 2017. So in all actuality who gives a flying fuck. However, the debate has sparked some of O’Neal interest. The Sensation clearly and undeniably hates the gimmick that has him sparring off with Burnetts and Krazzys each week. The sub-par talent creates a sub-par title. Thank God for O’Neal because shit, with the likes of Phoenix, this title would be garbage.
Solutions for the need for a title for guys on the lower end of the spectrum and one for the guys in the middle is simply to remove the God-awful stipulation and let O’Neal beat the shit out of Price again. Wait, did you guys miss that? Yeah, Jayson Price got beat by Jason O’Neal. In deep thought, Jason O’Neal wishes he had put the name Jason on the line as well in that match because Jayson Price is a disgrace to the name Jason.
We digress, another solution could be to have both a low level title and a mid-level title. That would devalue the gold around here, circa 17th Century Spain. Here’s a crazy concept, get rid of the trios titles. That’s three piece of Gold worth crap and there is already a tag team title.
Whatever management decides, Jason O’Neal doesn’t actually give two fucks because in one month, he gets his opportunity at the World Title. So whatever the hell happens, happens.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You’ve been here for under three weeks and have already increased production by two and a half percent in the pacific quadrant.
:: The camera pans to show Stephanie Daniels curled up in a ball underneath a blanket on a plush sofa in the corner of the room. She is scrolling through her Facebook feed. She hears him, but ignores his comments…
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Rise is six foot eight inches and Diaboli is six eleven?
:: Jason looks up from the computer…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Two point five percent. I thought you were on Facebook anyway?
STEPHANIE DANIELS: I heard you, I just don’t care. I make things better that’s what I do. (Walking over to O’Neal with a cute pair of sweat pants and a baby T showing off her curves) I am talking about this Meme one of your fans posted.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Do you ever stop thinking about my opponents?
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Will you ever start thinking about your opponents?
:: Jason angles the phone in her hand so that he can observe the screen…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I don’t get why that’s funny…
STEPHANIE DANIELS: You don’t get that this is a picture of them and a ruler measuring them to be six foot eight and eleven with a combined penis total of five inches.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Yeah, but why is a penis joke funny…? What is this a Rise promo now? No substance?
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Still it was posted by some chick claiming to be your biggest fan… Alexis?
:: Jason slides the phone from her hand laughing…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Now that’s funny.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: What’s funny about the name Alexis?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: This is Rise’s chick from that promo back on the eighteenth. You know that meth-head looking chick?
:: They share a chuckle and Stephanie begins to rub his shoulders…
STEPHANIE DANIELS: You’re tense. The match this week is a push-over. Relax.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: It’s not that, stop thinking about wrestling. I’ve been crunching these numbers and shits coming up short out at the ports again.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Malignaggi again?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O”NEAL: I’m not sure, wouldn’t surprise me with me drawing closer to his World Title. Last time I had to take out two of his men.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Didn’t he deny his involvement by putting blame on De Luca?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I’ve known De Luca for three years and he doesn’t have the balls to cheat anyone. He’s a sewer rat. It has to be Joey and that whore’s dad. Those were his men and he denied it to save face.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: What’s the plan?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: We wait until the opportunity presents itself.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Until then…
:: With a devilish grin, Stephanie’s hand slides across his chest and down to his waistline. Jason motions to the camera to cut…
:: After the third time the commentary and video is paused and the camera pans out to show Jason O’Neal eating pop-corn from a Tupperware container in his home theatre…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Who the fuck gets beat by the homeless, midget, dwarf, gladiator shitfuck that is Dion Neucrat? I had to watch it multiple times to just make sure it was Rise. What’s that? One more time…?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I still can’t believe someone actually lost to that no talent fuck. Okay, maybe he has gotten better since I beat him like two, three, or six times in a row. Who the fuck keeps count? But come on Rise… really Dion Neucrat. The homeless Brotherhood guy? Really? You lost to him? I actually and sincerely want to hear what the hell happened there. You got beat so bad by a bottom carder that you could not even get up for a ten count? Imagine what’s going to happen when you step into the ring with me.
:: Jason throws a handful of popcorn in his mouth. He chews a bit and moves on to the next subject of his rant against Rise with a half mouthful of popcorn dancing laps in his mouth…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I generally couldn’t care less about you, but since you are in the match against me this week I have to go back and research your matches and promos. Thanks for that by the way. Works better than Z-Quill. Rise, I find it really cute the way you called me out in one of your early promos hoping that the big dog would notice. Guess what, I didn’t until now. I only noticed, because I had to go back and figure out who the hell you are.
You stated that you didn’t like me because I was quote unquote disrespectful, an unappreciative scum that needed to be taught a lesson. All of which may be true. By the way, thanks for the shout out early on. The only issue here is that you got beat by Dion Neucrat. I simply don’t think you have what it takes to beat me, let alone teach me a lesson.
Rise, you and your boyfriend, the almost seven foot tall idiot, are in this match to serve as a backdrop to a bigger story. Burnett VS O’Neal for the Alpha Title. You two serve no purpose other than to hype that match and to add tension to a heated situation. Therefore Rise, do what you always do… run to the end of your chain… bark up a storm and at the end of the day… play second fiddle to someone who is just better than you.
:: Jason motions for the camera to cut…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH (cameraman): You don’t want to take this opportunity to talk about Diaboli?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: The fucker won’t hear it anyway. He is deaf.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: I’m sure he has a signer or something. Or some spiritual handjobber that gets him the messages he needs.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I guess I must be paying you by the hour huh? The longer I talk; the more you get paid?
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Diaboli or no?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I guess. Umm… (To Travis) Are you ready? (Gets the affirmative) I’m not. Shit I literally have nothing to say about this guy. What does Diaboli mean anyway?
:: Travis shrugs as evidenced by the motion of the camera…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Google it…
:: Keys click on a cellphone behind the camera. Travis reads monotonously…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Diaboli -Latin for "In league with the devil"- is the eighth studio album by Norwegian symphonic black metal
band Dimmu Borgir, released in 2007. It is the band's first concept album.
:: Jason looks into the camera to begin the shoot on Diaboli…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: So not only is he completely irrelevant, the closest thing to his name is a defunct rock band? I know… I know… this is a cheesy play on names, I could have gone against Rise and made a corny Viagra joke by saying something like he can’t get it to Rise, but I didn’t. Kudos to me. However, with no talent, a loss, and a shitty not even scary Devil promo about time and all sorts of bullshit that doesn’t concern me or anyone else for that matter… I got absolutely nothing to say about or to this guy.
Seth, on the other hand… in the words of the 1998 Disney Movie, Brink: When it comes to picking talent for this shit circus you got going on here… skate better. A lot better than Rise and Diaboli. Those fucktards are in a league of their own when it comes to being jobbers, dude. Congrats… there should be a Jobber of the Year award at the first Slam of the year. Nominations Diaboli and Rise!!
:: Jason said the last two word with over emphasis for comedic purposes. You’re welcome…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Can we cut now Travis?
:: Scene ends…
GREG JOHNSON: Know him?!?! I trained him.
:: Jason nearly spit out his coffee…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: When the hell were you going to tell me this?
GREG JOHNSON: I specifically told you at least twice. Once two years ago when we had our fifth anniversary of Ruff Ryders Gym in Omaha. The second was when he first got signed to the WcF.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You tell me you have new talent all the time… pardon me when one of your parolees doesn’t go back to jail and becomes an actual prospect. And when he got signed he was going up against guys on the low card and I had to match up against Jayson Price. Who I bea…
GREG JOHNSON (interrupting): No one cares that you beat Jayson Price. That’s what you are supposed to do. And Adam is no parolee.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I know, but…
GREG JOHNSON (interrupting again): There is no but. The guy has legit talent.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You said the same thing about me.
GREG JOHNSON: What’s your goal in wrestling?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL (without hesitation): To make money. (Pauses to think) To become the face of the company to legitimize my business and sell to a wider audience.
GREG JOHNSON: Exactly, Adam is your talent and skill with a drive, not to make money, but to survive life and be better.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: One day you and Stephanie will not pick one of my opponents to beat me.
GREG JOHNSON: This week he is not your opponent.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: The guy is facing me for my title eventually… he is my opponent.
GREG JOHNSON: Speaking of your title where is it?
:: Jason over dramatically pretends to look around for the title. Then pauses as if he remembered…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Oh yeah… who cares?
GREG JOHNSON: You are still disrespecting the title?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: The only ones who actually want the damned thing is Kidd Krazzy and Damien Kaine. Kidd has lost everything in his world including his pride by joining up with Kaine and the rest of Bishop’s Merry Crew.
GREG JOHNSON: I really wish you would take something seriously.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I do, and Malignaggi is in my business again.
GREG JOHNSON: I’m not in that game anymore and you know that.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Yeah you help little orphans like Burnett.
GREG JOHNSON: And O’Neal.
:: Jason microexpressively takes a pause…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: My mom and dad are alive.
GREG JOHNSON: Her being addicted to pharmaceuticals and him leaving your ass when you were six… barely alive, son.
:: Jason is visibly holding back anger…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I coulda done it without you.
GREG JOHNSON: But you didn’t have to because I was there.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You were also there for Burnett, are you going to give me the scouting report?
GREG JOHNSON: I’ll tell you the same thing I told him when he called two weeks ago, scouting is part of being a superstar. It is your responsibility.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I’m not Burnett… I’ve know you damned near my whole life. You’ve known that punk for five years.
GREG JOHNSON: And you have stayed the same in the ring and he has sky-rocketed. Three matches and he already has what it took you three months to get.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: He’s better?
GREG JOHNSON: Mentally, this beignet is better than you. It has a plan to sit still and it carries it out. What the fuck do you plan?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You and Stephanie sound the exact same.
GREG JOHNSON: Because we both see the same stimulus.
:: Jason is visibly shaken emotionally. This is the first time a chink in the emotional armor has been revealed in him and he doesn’t physically know how to respond. He stands and drops a hundred dollar bill on the table…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Tell her she can keep the tip…
:: Jason walks away…
:: Jason sits sometime after his conversation with Greg Johnson on the front stoop of his home. The wind whips around as a cold front is on its way in and Jason braces it with a hoodie and sweat pants. His white Nike shoes are akin to the smoky mist rising from his breath with each word…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Adam… this is going to be good. When I got here, I had watched the WcF for a while and rather than being in awe of the talent I saw… I was disgusted by the fact that people like Stuart Slane or Brent Alpine could even think to be champions. I didn’t idolize Jayson Price… I fucking hated the fact that a no talent hack like that could at some point be considered a legend in the game.
You mentioned that your way out was wrestling… I’m glad you bought the line of every young black guy ever. Football is your way out. Basketball will get you out. Go to college it will get you out. Those are the lines that my coach gave me in high school. Now granted, I grew up in the ninth ward and you grew up on Wooville’s farm, but you were fed a need to escape. These motherfuckers make us embrace a culture of escape. They bred it in us for 400 years and you still fall for Greg Johnson’s rhetoric.
I realized that I did not have anything to escape, Adam. I had to only embrace what I was given. I was given a skill set to negotioate, to fight, to build, to be fucking ingenious. I used it to build an empire. What do racist women do when they are addicted to meth? Bend down and suck your black dick. You could have used their insecurities against them and showed fucks like Bates that his cousin Emily is the rule not the exception.
Avoiding racism is the reason you got into wrestling? Well shit you are in the wrong company for that. The World Confederate Foundation keeps guys like Doc Henry and TUB o Lard on speed dial. They invented the Alpha Title to marginalize CJ Phoenix and not give him an opportunity at growth. The first colored guy with a chance to beat him… the first guy they feel is a threat… they put the two major colored guys against each other and one falls off a cliff and doubts himself at every turn and the other is stuck behind a mammoth paper weight, the Alpha Title.
I know… I know… Andre Holmes is legit, he hasn’t been marginalized… first off he is as part-time as most of Pantheon and when has his greatness ever shown? Never got the World Title and Sanchez the spic… is being held back as well. Understand Burnett… the game is bigger than you. You are signed for one reason and one reason only. I’m getting to big and they can’t have a colored face on the World Confederate Foundation…
They thought it was going to be Jayson Price… they knew Kidd Krazzy and Joe Smarts had no shot… They thought Mr. Every Single Title Except the Alpha Title was going to marginalize me. Now, sir you are their great black hope. Their last hope before January 30th. Congrats… you are a pawn in their game sir. You may or may not be aware of it, but make no mistake. This match isn’t you and I versus Rise and Diaboli… it is just a predecessor to your ass whippin when I get the chance to prove that I deserve this shit.
I get it, Adam, your eagerness reigns through. You beat Psychopomp, by the way a guy they have been trying to push forever, congrats. That’s like saying Dion beat Rise… who the fuck cares. In reality… the front office is squirming right now. Who do we get to go into this match to make it bigger? Burnett V. O’Neal is not big enough. Expect someone like Damien Kaine to make a move to try to make the match more exciting. This match is not about how great you are or how great I am… it’s to insure that a minority won’t reach the pinnacle. Chew on it… research it… when you realize I’m right, you’re worthless, and I’m better than you go home cry and get over it. Funny how you left Reynolds to be wrapped up in racism again…
:: Jason is interrupted by the camera man…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: I see what you did there.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: What are you talking about Travis?
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Reynolds Wrap… Left Reynolds to be wrapped up in racism…
:: Jason rolls his eyes…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Yeah… I did it on purpose… like we get points or something for creative roasting. It’s all about what goes down in the ring.
:: The front door opens and Stephanie peeks her head out…
STEPHANIE DANIELS: It’s cold as farts out here… you coming in?
:: Jason stands wearily digesting the events of the day as the camera fades…
The thought of the day. Several thousand fans blogging and the talent in the back is getting restless as well. What does Jason O’Neal think about it? He is the current Alpha Champion and everyone knows that the Alpha Championship was the United States Championship prior to CJ Phoenix sucking all over the place. Where does this debate leave the current Alpha champion?
Almost one month from a World Title shot is where it leaves him. October 30, 2016 is three months away from January 30th 2017. So in all actuality who gives a flying fuck. However, the debate has sparked some of O’Neal interest. The Sensation clearly and undeniably hates the gimmick that has him sparring off with Burnetts and Krazzys each week. The sub-par talent creates a sub-par title. Thank God for O’Neal because shit, with the likes of Phoenix, this title would be garbage.
Solutions for the need for a title for guys on the lower end of the spectrum and one for the guys in the middle is simply to remove the God-awful stipulation and let O’Neal beat the shit out of Price again. Wait, did you guys miss that? Yeah, Jayson Price got beat by Jason O’Neal. In deep thought, Jason O’Neal wishes he had put the name Jason on the line as well in that match because Jayson Price is a disgrace to the name Jason.
We digress, another solution could be to have both a low level title and a mid-level title. That would devalue the gold around here, circa 17th Century Spain. Here’s a crazy concept, get rid of the trios titles. That’s three piece of Gold worth crap and there is already a tag team title.
Whatever management decides, Jason O’Neal doesn’t actually give two fucks because in one month, he gets his opportunity at the World Title. So whatever the hell happens, happens.
Sincerely,
Kate Shingle
Public Relations for Mr. O’Neal
--------------------
:: Jason O’Neal sits behind his desk in his Scarface inspired office. An all-in-one desktop computer illuminates his face amidst a relatively dim room. He speaks to someone across the room…“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You’ve been here for under three weeks and have already increased production by two and a half percent in the pacific quadrant.
:: The camera pans to show Stephanie Daniels curled up in a ball underneath a blanket on a plush sofa in the corner of the room. She is scrolling through her Facebook feed. She hears him, but ignores his comments…
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Rise is six foot eight inches and Diaboli is six eleven?
:: Jason looks up from the computer…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Two point five percent. I thought you were on Facebook anyway?
STEPHANIE DANIELS: I heard you, I just don’t care. I make things better that’s what I do. (Walking over to O’Neal with a cute pair of sweat pants and a baby T showing off her curves) I am talking about this Meme one of your fans posted.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Do you ever stop thinking about my opponents?
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Will you ever start thinking about your opponents?
:: Jason angles the phone in her hand so that he can observe the screen…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I don’t get why that’s funny…
STEPHANIE DANIELS: You don’t get that this is a picture of them and a ruler measuring them to be six foot eight and eleven with a combined penis total of five inches.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Yeah, but why is a penis joke funny…? What is this a Rise promo now? No substance?
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Still it was posted by some chick claiming to be your biggest fan… Alexis?
:: Jason slides the phone from her hand laughing…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Now that’s funny.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: What’s funny about the name Alexis?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: This is Rise’s chick from that promo back on the eighteenth. You know that meth-head looking chick?
:: They share a chuckle and Stephanie begins to rub his shoulders…
STEPHANIE DANIELS: You’re tense. The match this week is a push-over. Relax.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: It’s not that, stop thinking about wrestling. I’ve been crunching these numbers and shits coming up short out at the ports again.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Malignaggi again?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O”NEAL: I’m not sure, wouldn’t surprise me with me drawing closer to his World Title. Last time I had to take out two of his men.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Didn’t he deny his involvement by putting blame on De Luca?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I’ve known De Luca for three years and he doesn’t have the balls to cheat anyone. He’s a sewer rat. It has to be Joey and that whore’s dad. Those were his men and he denied it to save face.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: What’s the plan?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: We wait until the opportunity presents itself.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Until then…
:: With a devilish grin, Stephanie’s hand slides across his chest and down to his waistline. Jason motions to the camera to cut…
-------------------------
9...
Zach Davis: Dion Necurat stands back up!!!
10!!!
Freddy Whoa: The match is over!
Zach Davis: Dion Necurat wins!
:: The scene selection screen pops up and the scene just played, replays…
9...
Zach Davis: Dion Necurat stands back up!!!
10!!!
Freddy Whoa: The match is over!
Zach Davis: Dion Necurat wins!
:: Once again…
9...
Zach Davis: Dion Necurat stands back up!!!
10!!!
Freddy Whoa: The match is over!
Zach Davis: Dion Necurat wins!
:: After the third time the commentary and video is paused and the camera pans out to show Jason O’Neal eating pop-corn from a Tupperware container in his home theatre…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Who the fuck gets beat by the homeless, midget, dwarf, gladiator shitfuck that is Dion Neucrat? I had to watch it multiple times to just make sure it was Rise. What’s that? One more time…?
9...
Zach Davis: Dion Necurat stands back up!!!
10!!!
Freddy Whoa: The match is over!
Zach Davis: Dion Necurat wins!
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I still can’t believe someone actually lost to that no talent fuck. Okay, maybe he has gotten better since I beat him like two, three, or six times in a row. Who the fuck keeps count? But come on Rise… really Dion Neucrat. The homeless Brotherhood guy? Really? You lost to him? I actually and sincerely want to hear what the hell happened there. You got beat so bad by a bottom carder that you could not even get up for a ten count? Imagine what’s going to happen when you step into the ring with me.
:: Jason throws a handful of popcorn in his mouth. He chews a bit and moves on to the next subject of his rant against Rise with a half mouthful of popcorn dancing laps in his mouth…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I generally couldn’t care less about you, but since you are in the match against me this week I have to go back and research your matches and promos. Thanks for that by the way. Works better than Z-Quill. Rise, I find it really cute the way you called me out in one of your early promos hoping that the big dog would notice. Guess what, I didn’t until now. I only noticed, because I had to go back and figure out who the hell you are.
You stated that you didn’t like me because I was quote unquote disrespectful, an unappreciative scum that needed to be taught a lesson. All of which may be true. By the way, thanks for the shout out early on. The only issue here is that you got beat by Dion Neucrat. I simply don’t think you have what it takes to beat me, let alone teach me a lesson.
Rise, you and your boyfriend, the almost seven foot tall idiot, are in this match to serve as a backdrop to a bigger story. Burnett VS O’Neal for the Alpha Title. You two serve no purpose other than to hype that match and to add tension to a heated situation. Therefore Rise, do what you always do… run to the end of your chain… bark up a storm and at the end of the day… play second fiddle to someone who is just better than you.
:: Jason motions for the camera to cut…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH (cameraman): You don’t want to take this opportunity to talk about Diaboli?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: The fucker won’t hear it anyway. He is deaf.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: I’m sure he has a signer or something. Or some spiritual handjobber that gets him the messages he needs.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I guess I must be paying you by the hour huh? The longer I talk; the more you get paid?
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Diaboli or no?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I guess. Umm… (To Travis) Are you ready? (Gets the affirmative) I’m not. Shit I literally have nothing to say about this guy. What does Diaboli mean anyway?
:: Travis shrugs as evidenced by the motion of the camera…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Google it…
:: Keys click on a cellphone behind the camera. Travis reads monotonously…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Diaboli -Latin for "In league with the devil"- is the eighth studio album by Norwegian symphonic black metal
band Dimmu Borgir, released in 2007. It is the band's first concept album.
:: Jason looks into the camera to begin the shoot on Diaboli…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: So not only is he completely irrelevant, the closest thing to his name is a defunct rock band? I know… I know… this is a cheesy play on names, I could have gone against Rise and made a corny Viagra joke by saying something like he can’t get it to Rise, but I didn’t. Kudos to me. However, with no talent, a loss, and a shitty not even scary Devil promo about time and all sorts of bullshit that doesn’t concern me or anyone else for that matter… I got absolutely nothing to say about or to this guy.
Seth, on the other hand… in the words of the 1998 Disney Movie, Brink: When it comes to picking talent for this shit circus you got going on here… skate better. A lot better than Rise and Diaboli. Those fucktards are in a league of their own when it comes to being jobbers, dude. Congrats… there should be a Jobber of the Year award at the first Slam of the year. Nominations Diaboli and Rise!!
:: Jason said the last two word with over emphasis for comedic purposes. You’re welcome…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Can we cut now Travis?
:: Scene ends…
--------------------------
:: Café du Monde, a New Orleans staple for almost a century and a half. Home of the world famous New Orleans beignets. Two familiar faces sit and share a couple beignets and coffee inside the world famous beignet shop. The camera comes close to the table to eavesdrop on the conversation…GREG JOHNSON: Know him?!?! I trained him.
:: Jason nearly spit out his coffee…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: When the hell were you going to tell me this?
GREG JOHNSON: I specifically told you at least twice. Once two years ago when we had our fifth anniversary of Ruff Ryders Gym in Omaha. The second was when he first got signed to the WcF.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You tell me you have new talent all the time… pardon me when one of your parolees doesn’t go back to jail and becomes an actual prospect. And when he got signed he was going up against guys on the low card and I had to match up against Jayson Price. Who I bea…
GREG JOHNSON (interrupting): No one cares that you beat Jayson Price. That’s what you are supposed to do. And Adam is no parolee.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I know, but…
GREG JOHNSON (interrupting again): There is no but. The guy has legit talent.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You said the same thing about me.
GREG JOHNSON: What’s your goal in wrestling?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL (without hesitation): To make money. (Pauses to think) To become the face of the company to legitimize my business and sell to a wider audience.
GREG JOHNSON: Exactly, Adam is your talent and skill with a drive, not to make money, but to survive life and be better.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: One day you and Stephanie will not pick one of my opponents to beat me.
GREG JOHNSON: This week he is not your opponent.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: The guy is facing me for my title eventually… he is my opponent.
GREG JOHNSON: Speaking of your title where is it?
:: Jason over dramatically pretends to look around for the title. Then pauses as if he remembered…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Oh yeah… who cares?
GREG JOHNSON: You are still disrespecting the title?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: The only ones who actually want the damned thing is Kidd Krazzy and Damien Kaine. Kidd has lost everything in his world including his pride by joining up with Kaine and the rest of Bishop’s Merry Crew.
GREG JOHNSON: I really wish you would take something seriously.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I do, and Malignaggi is in my business again.
GREG JOHNSON: I’m not in that game anymore and you know that.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Yeah you help little orphans like Burnett.
GREG JOHNSON: And O’Neal.
:: Jason microexpressively takes a pause…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: My mom and dad are alive.
GREG JOHNSON: Her being addicted to pharmaceuticals and him leaving your ass when you were six… barely alive, son.
:: Jason is visibly holding back anger…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I coulda done it without you.
GREG JOHNSON: But you didn’t have to because I was there.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You were also there for Burnett, are you going to give me the scouting report?
GREG JOHNSON: I’ll tell you the same thing I told him when he called two weeks ago, scouting is part of being a superstar. It is your responsibility.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I’m not Burnett… I’ve know you damned near my whole life. You’ve known that punk for five years.
GREG JOHNSON: And you have stayed the same in the ring and he has sky-rocketed. Three matches and he already has what it took you three months to get.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: He’s better?
GREG JOHNSON: Mentally, this beignet is better than you. It has a plan to sit still and it carries it out. What the fuck do you plan?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You and Stephanie sound the exact same.
GREG JOHNSON: Because we both see the same stimulus.
:: Jason is visibly shaken emotionally. This is the first time a chink in the emotional armor has been revealed in him and he doesn’t physically know how to respond. He stands and drops a hundred dollar bill on the table…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Tell her she can keep the tip…
:: Jason walks away…
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ADAM BURNETT:: Jason sits sometime after his conversation with Greg Johnson on the front stoop of his home. The wind whips around as a cold front is on its way in and Jason braces it with a hoodie and sweat pants. His white Nike shoes are akin to the smoky mist rising from his breath with each word…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Adam… this is going to be good. When I got here, I had watched the WcF for a while and rather than being in awe of the talent I saw… I was disgusted by the fact that people like Stuart Slane or Brent Alpine could even think to be champions. I didn’t idolize Jayson Price… I fucking hated the fact that a no talent hack like that could at some point be considered a legend in the game.
You mentioned that your way out was wrestling… I’m glad you bought the line of every young black guy ever. Football is your way out. Basketball will get you out. Go to college it will get you out. Those are the lines that my coach gave me in high school. Now granted, I grew up in the ninth ward and you grew up on Wooville’s farm, but you were fed a need to escape. These motherfuckers make us embrace a culture of escape. They bred it in us for 400 years and you still fall for Greg Johnson’s rhetoric.
I realized that I did not have anything to escape, Adam. I had to only embrace what I was given. I was given a skill set to negotioate, to fight, to build, to be fucking ingenious. I used it to build an empire. What do racist women do when they are addicted to meth? Bend down and suck your black dick. You could have used their insecurities against them and showed fucks like Bates that his cousin Emily is the rule not the exception.
Avoiding racism is the reason you got into wrestling? Well shit you are in the wrong company for that. The World Confederate Foundation keeps guys like Doc Henry and TUB o Lard on speed dial. They invented the Alpha Title to marginalize CJ Phoenix and not give him an opportunity at growth. The first colored guy with a chance to beat him… the first guy they feel is a threat… they put the two major colored guys against each other and one falls off a cliff and doubts himself at every turn and the other is stuck behind a mammoth paper weight, the Alpha Title.
I know… I know… Andre Holmes is legit, he hasn’t been marginalized… first off he is as part-time as most of Pantheon and when has his greatness ever shown? Never got the World Title and Sanchez the spic… is being held back as well. Understand Burnett… the game is bigger than you. You are signed for one reason and one reason only. I’m getting to big and they can’t have a colored face on the World Confederate Foundation…
They thought it was going to be Jayson Price… they knew Kidd Krazzy and Joe Smarts had no shot… They thought Mr. Every Single Title Except the Alpha Title was going to marginalize me. Now, sir you are their great black hope. Their last hope before January 30th. Congrats… you are a pawn in their game sir. You may or may not be aware of it, but make no mistake. This match isn’t you and I versus Rise and Diaboli… it is just a predecessor to your ass whippin when I get the chance to prove that I deserve this shit.
I get it, Adam, your eagerness reigns through. You beat Psychopomp, by the way a guy they have been trying to push forever, congrats. That’s like saying Dion beat Rise… who the fuck cares. In reality… the front office is squirming right now. Who do we get to go into this match to make it bigger? Burnett V. O’Neal is not big enough. Expect someone like Damien Kaine to make a move to try to make the match more exciting. This match is not about how great you are or how great I am… it’s to insure that a minority won’t reach the pinnacle. Chew on it… research it… when you realize I’m right, you’re worthless, and I’m better than you go home cry and get over it. Funny how you left Reynolds to be wrapped up in racism again…
:: Jason is interrupted by the camera man…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: I see what you did there.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: What are you talking about Travis?
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Reynolds Wrap… Left Reynolds to be wrapped up in racism…
:: Jason rolls his eyes…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Yeah… I did it on purpose… like we get points or something for creative roasting. It’s all about what goes down in the ring.
:: The front door opens and Stephanie peeks her head out…
STEPHANIE DANIELS: It’s cold as farts out here… you coming in?
:: Jason stands wearily digesting the events of the day as the camera fades…